23rd October 2016

Action Reasoning by Science Implication

I smell Smelling is false. It is mere contact of Mind has imagined smell
some molecules within nostrils. Molecules because it is unaware of
are made of protons, electrons etc. Nose reality.
is also made of these. All are
electromagnetic waves. Electromagnetic
waves do not have inherent attribute of
smell within them.
I taste Taste is false. It is mere contact of some Mind has imagined taste
molecules within tongue. Molecules are because it is unaware of
made of protons, electrons etc. Tongue is reality.
also made of these. All are
electromagnetic waves. Electromagnetic
waves do not have inherent attribute of
taste within them
I see Seeing is false. It is mere energy of Mind has imagined vision
photons. Photons are reflected from the because it is unaware of
surface of objects. They do not have reality.
colour etc. The 3D view is not original.
Surface of objects has electrons and
these reflect photons. The eyes are made
of protons, electrons etc and they capture
this energy.. All are electromagnetic
waves. Electromagnetic waves do not
have inherent attribute of colour within
them
I feel Feeling is false. It is mere force of Mind has imagined feel
solid repulsion of electrons in the finger with because it is unaware of
substanc the electrons in object. There is no reality.
e etc inherent solidity. All are electromagnetic
waves. Electromagnetic waves do not
have inherent attribute of feel within
them
I hear Hearing is false. Sound waves which are Mind has imagined sound
also electromagnetic interacts with ear because it is unaware of
drum which are also electromagnetic reality.
waves. Electromagnetic waves do not
have inherent property of sound within
them.
I The act of procreation is mere movement Mind has imagined
procreat of energy in the private parts. Sperm and procreation because it is
e egg are nothing but EM waves and they unaware of reality.
interact. It is wave-wave interaction. It is
just that I make few waves.
I eat and The act of eating or drinking is once again Mind has imagined
drink movement of EM waves across body and eating, drinking,
 objects. The EM waves of food are elimination etc because it
merged with EM waves of assimilatory is unaware of reality.
system. Unwanted waves expelled from
the body. It is just that I make few waves.
I move The body as well as the outside world Mind imagines motion
both is only waves. When all are waves, because it is unaware of
which moves where? Motion is reality.
impossible. It is just that I make few
waves.
I grab The body as well as the outside world Mind imagines Grabbing
both is only waves. When all are waves, because it is unaware of
which grabs what? Grabbing is impossible reality.
. It is just that I make few waves.
I speak The body as well as the outside world Mind imagines Speaking
both is only waves. When all are waves, because it is unaware of
which speaks what? It is just that I make reality.
few waves. Speaking is impossible
I am What thinking is possible when all are Mind imagines it to be
thinking only waves? I am only waves and the Thinking because it is
using world is also the same waves. What is unaware of reality.
intellect there to think about?
I have What memory is possible when all are Mind imagines it to be
this only waves? I am only waves and the Memorizing because it is
memory world is also the same waves. What is unaware of reality.
there to memorize?
I am this When all the body is only waves, where is Mind imagines it to be
personali the question of age or tallness arise? tall, middle aged etc
ty, I am because it is unaware of
this reality.
body,
middle
aged, tall
etc
I am this When all the body is only waves, all Mind imagines it to be
vital purported actions of body are only with vital force etc
force etc imagination, where is the need for vital because it is unaware of
force etc? What is their work? reality.
I am When all the body is only waves, all Mind imagines it to be
happy, purported feelings of body are only happy or sad etc because
sad etc imagination, where is happiness or it is unaware of reality.
misery?
I am The world as well as body is both waves. Mind imagines it to be
awake How can waves awake or live? awake and living etc
and I live because it is unaware of
in the reality.
world
I am The world as well as body is both waves. Mind imagines it to be
dreamin How can waves dream? dreaming because it is
g unaware of reality.
I was The world as well as body is both waves. Mind imagines it to be
asleep How can waves sleep? sleeping because it is
unaware of reality.
Time is In waves, where is time? Time is not Mind imagines time
running inherent in waves. The waves will because it is unaware of
continue to exist. reality.
Space is In waves, where is Space? Space is not Mind imagines space
limited inherent in waves. The waves will find because it is unaware of
space. reality.

From the above, the following points are clear.

1. There is lack of awareness in mind.

2. Mind imagines.

Mind is always imagining. It imagines that space, time, motor actions, sensory
perceptions, mental functions like memory, thinking, personality, happiness,
sadness, life, death are real. The feeling of Awake, Dream, Sleep are the three
switches mind uses to get itself convinced that the experiences are real.

In effect mind creates a virtual world of its own with imaginations and fantasies.

Now, how does the mind gets the first person experience? Because, in the
bottom of it, mind knows itself to be creator of the virtual world. It appears to be
happy or sad momentarily but soon regains composure. This regaining will not be
possible if the feelings are real. Rapid changing of scenes of eyes, listening to
various notes of music instantly, combining the feelings of audio and visual,
connecting each and every perception with objects as well as different
perceptions ( Like the food is tasty, nice to see, smells good, feels hot
simultaneously). When I am standing near the dead body of my close relative
and mourning, within few seconds my mind jumps to other feelings to shackle off
the sadness. I cannot be in deep sorrow for few hours. I cannot be in deep joy for
few hours. When viewed from outside, I may look grieved but internally I would
have been relieved. This is Mind.

Science has taught us law of conservation of energy. The total energy of this
universe is constant. There is no permanent change. What is released at one
point is absorbed at another point. There is no point in trying to explore outside
world because except waves I am not going to get anything.

Since this body of mine is also waves, even if something comes out of such
exploration, they may not be useful to me. Everything appears only to disappear
soon.

I am the mind and I have realized everything of world, body, mental functions
like memory, ego, intelligence, happiness, sadness etc are all false. I am not
awake, not dreaming and not sleeping also. I cease to be the imaging mind.
Devoid of imagination, I am only I.

It is not that I have transcended space, time and causation. I have realized that
all these space, time and causations are only imagination of mind, the partitions
used by mind to get a realistic feel out of virtual.

I am not worried about the waves, whether they are Maya, illusionary or real etc.
Whatever they may be, it does not make a difference to me.

If the waves are real, still without attributes they do not mean a thing to me. The
attributes are only imaginary. If they are unreal, still it makes no difference. The
waves when joined with imaginary attribute created the world. Remove
imaginary attributes. Who in right mind will be interested in the electromagnetic
waves?

Even though I have written all these, this realization has not stopped me from
imagining. I continue to feel space, time, acting, perceiving etc. I feel egoistic,
body, continue imagining to be thinking, recollecting from memory and still
searching for me outside my mind. May be for the imaginary world to come to
rest, it requires imaginary time or imaginary death.

Now on further thinking, I am questioning myself, what is this mind? Is it a

separate one like eyes, ears, kidney, lungs etc or a non-separate one? I think I
and my mind are one and the same and the name mind is given only to
differentiate that function from other functions like eating etc. Even though
Vedanta says of five sheaths etc, what they mean is to point out the differences
in functions. It is not that there is a mind separate, ego separate, intelligence
separate and the sheath of happiness separate and I exist separate. All these act
simultaneously.

To put it simply, there is only one I existing and it carries out all these
functions. Hence replacing the mind with I in the table, let me see what it
concludes.
Action Reasoning by Science Implication
I smell Smelling is false. It is mere contact of I have imagined smell
some molecules within nostrils. Molecules because I am unaware of
are made of protons, electrons etc. Nose reality.
is also made of these. All are
electromagnetic waves. Electromagnetic
waves do not have inherent attribute of
smell within them.
I taste Taste is false. It is mere contact of some I have imagined taste
molecules within tongue. Molecules are because I am unaware of
made of protons, electrons etc. Tongue is reality.
also made of these. All are
electromagnetic waves. Electromagnetic
waves do not have inherent attribute of
taste within them
I see Seeing is false. It is mere energy of I have imagined vision
photons. Photons are reflected from the because I am unaware of
surface of objects. They do not have reality.
colour etc. The 3D view is not original.
Surface of objects has electrons and
these reflect photons. The eyes are made
of protons, electrons etc and they capture
this energy.. All are electromagnetic
waves. Electromagnetic waves do not
have inherent attribute of colour within
them
I feel Feeling is false. It is mere force of I have imagined feel
solid repulsion of electrons in the finger with because I am unaware of
substanc the electrons in object. There is no reality.
e etc inherent solidity. All are electromagnetic
waves. Electromagnetic waves do not
have inherent attribute of feel within
them
I hear Hearing is false. Sound waves which are I have imagined sound
also electromagnetic interacts with ear because I am unaware of
drum which are also electromagnetic reality.
waves. Electromagnetic waves do not
have inherent property of sound within
them.
I The act of procreation is mere movement I have imagined
procreat of energy in the private parts. Sperm and procreation because I am
e egg are nothing but EM waves and they unaware of reality.
interact. It is wave-wave interaction. It is
just that I make few waves.
I eat and The act of eating or drinking is once again I have imagined eating,
drink movement of EM waves across body and drinking, elimination etc
objects. The EM waves of food are because I am unaware of
merged with EM waves of assimilatory reality.
 system. Unwanted waves expelled from
the body. It is just that I make few waves.
I move The body as well as the outside world I have imagined motion
both is only waves. When all are waves, because I am unaware of
which moves where? Motion is reality.
impossible. It is just that I make few
waves.
I grab The body as well as the outside world I have imagined
both is only waves. When all are waves, Grabbing because I am
which grabs what? Grabbing is impossible unaware of reality.
. It is just that I make few waves.
I speak The body as well as the outside world I have imagined
both is only waves. When all are waves, Speaking because it is
which speaks what? It is just that I make unaware of reality.
few waves. Speaking is impossible
I am What thinking is possible when all are I have imagined to be
thinking only waves? I am only waves and the Thinking because I am
using world is also the same waves. What is unaware of reality.
intellect there to think about?
I have What memory is possible when all are I have imagined to be
this only waves? I am only waves and the Memorizing because I am
memory world is also the same waves. What is unaware of reality.
there to memorize?
I am this When all the body is only waves, where is I have imagined it to be
personali the question of age or tallness arise? tall, middle aged etc
ty, I am because I am unaware of
this reality.
body,
middle
aged, tall
etc
I am this When all the body is only waves, all I imagine it to be with
vital purported actions of body are only vital force etc because I
force etc imagination, where is the need for vital am unaware of reality.
force etc? What is their work?
I am When all the body is only waves, all I imagine being happy or
happy, purported feelings of body are only sad etc because I am
sad etc imagination, where is happiness or unaware of reality.
misery?
I am The world as well as body is both waves. I imagine being awake
awake How can waves awake or live? and living etc because I
and I live am unaware of reality.
in the
world
I am The world as well as body is both waves. I imagine it to be
dreamin How can waves dream? dreaming because I am
g unaware of reality.
I was The world as well as body is both waves. I imagine to be sleeping
asleep How can waves sleep? because I am unaware of
reality.
Time is In waves, where is time? Time is not I imagine time because I
running inherent in waves. The waves will am unaware of reality.
continue to exist.
Space is In waves, where is Space? Space is not I imagine space because
limited inherent in waves. The waves will find I am unaware of reality.
space.

From the above, the following points are clear.

1. There is lack of awareness in me.

2. I imagine.

I am always imagining. I imagine that space, time, motor actions, and sensory
perceptions, mental functions like memory, thinking, personality, happiness,
sadness, life, death are real. The feeling of Awake, Dream, Sleep are the three
switches I use to get itself convinced that the experiences are real.

In effect I creates a virtual world of my own with imaginations and fantasies.

Now, how do I get the first person experience? Because, I know myself to be
creator of the virtual world. It appears to be happy or sad momentarily but soon I
regain composure. This regaining will not be possible if the feelings are real.
Rapid changing of scenes of eyes, listening to various notes of music instantly,
combining the feelings of audio and visual, connecting each and every
perception with objects as well as different perceptions ( Like the food is tasty,
nice to see, smells good, feels hot simultaneously). When I am standing near the
dead body of my close relative and mourning, within few seconds my mind jumps
to other feelings to shackle off the sadness. I cannot be in deep sorrow for few
hours. I cannot be in deep joy for few hours. When viewed from outside, I may
look grieved but internally I would have been relieved. This is Me.

Science has taught us law of conservation of energy. The total energy of this
universe is constant. There is no permanent change. What is released at one
point is absorbed at another point. There is no point in trying to explore outside
world because except waves I am not going to get anything.

Since this body of mine is also waves, even if something comes out of such
exploration, they may not be useful to me. Everything appears only to disappear
soon.

I have realized everything of world, body, mental functions like memory, ego,
intelligence, happiness, sadness etc are all false. I am not awake, not dreaming
and not sleeping also. I cease to be the imaging mind. Devoid of imagination, I
am only I.
It is not that I have transcended space, time and causation. I have realized that
all these space, time and causations are only imagination of me, the partitions
used by me to get a realistic feel out of virtual.

I am not worried about the waves, whether they are Maya, illusionary or real etc.
Whatever they may be, it does not make a difference to me.

If the waves are real, still without attributes they do not mean a thing to me. The
attributes are only imaginary. If they are unreal, still it makes no difference. The
waves when joined with my imaginary attribute created the world. Remove
imaginary attributes. Who in right mind will be interested in the electromagnetic
waves?

Even though I have written all these, this realization has not stopped me from
imagining. I continue to feel space, time, acting, perceiving etc. I feel egoistic,
body, continue imagining to be thinking, recollecting from memory and still
searching for me outside my mind. May be for the imaginary world to come to
rest, it requires imaginary time or imaginary death.

I have differentiated myself as body, mind, prana, intelligence, identity, memory,

feelings etc and I tried to create a virtual world from electromagnetic waves. I
got entangled and I want to come out. I am reintegrating what I have
differentiated. I am left with only waves because these waves were the one I
used to create this virtual world.

I cannot accept that there are some mysterious forces acting on me. Most of this
knowledge came from my own conscious experience. I voluntarily experimented
and the results are out.

I have tried to come out and I have been successful. Only that I could not remain
in that state for long. But whenever I am out of this world, I feel there are no
limitations in terms of space or time, I am there fully conscious. I cannot say
whether I am happy or sad because I do not feel any of these. There has been a
sense of fulfillment. I am not bothered about any free will because what is there
in this imaginary world to will about?

What has happened to my mind, intelligence, ego or memories? They have

subsided within me. Who Am I? Will I have the courage to withdraw myself from
this body at what others call as death? Or will I be still fancying that I have to be
born again to come to this same conclusion about world? Am I the Narayana
whom I was searching for outside?

I am sure no Narayana exists outside. He should be existing within me. I am not

bothered now. In this state, there is no duality or conditional monism or monism.
If he remains like a mango seed existing inside the fruit and as long as I am the
fruit or the seed, these duality or conditional monism or monism does not mean
a thing.

Individual Universal
Jeevan I Easwaran
Within Maya Outside Maya
Since it is said that Easwaran is a realized soul, is he the controller or just the
witness? It seems mostly controller. If he is controller, does it mean to exist
cosmic mind etc exists? Yes says Vedanta.

Let me look more closely to imagination

Individual being Other co-habitants in Easwaran

Universe
I You He
Within Maya Within Maya Outside Maya
My I feeling Your I feeling His I feeling
Space limited Space limited Unlimited
Time limited
Imagines Sleep
Imagined Dream
Imagines Awake
Imagines happiness,
sadness
Imagines Prana
Imagines personality like
tall, fair etc
Imagines Memory
Imagines Intelligence
Imagines desiring mind
Imagines body with 10
organs
Imagines actions and
perceptions

Now, let me look more closely into what Vedanta says about the 6 conditions of
me.

I desire using Mind.

I make effort using prana and body to fulfill desire.
I understand fulfillment of desire in intellect.
I store the resulting experience as memory.
I feel satisfied in my ego.
I feel happy or sad.
The bodily effort is not added to memory because it has become a routine
function. I rarely thank my eyes or remember eyes with gratitude when I see a
image which was beautiful which made me happy. Body is conveniently
forgotten. Only when body is pained, it is remembered.

Now, coming to other five conditions, let me understand what interactions are
there with co-habitants and Easwara and the roles they play. Let me take eating
a sweet for example.

Individual Co Habitants Easwaran

I desire to eat The person who makes the sweet Providing the earth,
sweet desires to make a sweet , The water, fire, air and space
sugar made available by requirements of plant like
sugarcane grower to seller, The sugarcane, grass for cow
ghee made available by cow to etc up to the
ghee seller, The flour, utensil and requirements of humans
fuel made available from grower involved.
to seller to name a few
I procure sweet The body and pranic efforts of
and eat using vendors, cane growers down to
body and prana sugarcane tree and grass.
I understand The person who sold the sweet
fulfillment of understands he sold you sweet,
desire in intellect. he received money in turn and
understand fulfillment of desire
of making money in his intellect.
I store the The vendor stores the resulting
resulting profitable experience as memory.
experience of
having eaten
sweet as memory.
I feel satisfied in The ego of vendor is satisfied.
my ego.
I feel happy or The vendor feels happy or sad
sad. depending on the gains he
made.

In the transaction, my mind, intelligence, memory, ego and my feeling happiness

or sadness, YOU are involved directly. Without YOU, no transaction is possible. No
action is possible without YOU and hence there is no happiness or sadness
without YOU. This YOU is available to me during my waking state always.

In dream, YOU are not available hence I create a virtual YOU, transact with the
created YOU and derive pleasure or pain.
In deep sleep I do not require YOU, in fact if YOU were present it will only spoil
my sleep. Hence I close my eyes not to see YOU, Close all other organs not to
perceive YOU and without YOU, I have slept.

The provider of earth, water, fire, air and space namely Easwaran was also not
remembered and forgotten in my sleep.

Be it waking or dreaming, YOU were there, in sleep also YOU were there but I
slept only when I got rid of YOU.

Which has comforted me the most-The happiness when I was awake or the
dream happiness or the tranquility of sleep? The happiness during waking seems
to be conditioned and far less, dream happiness is much more and at the same
time turns into misery very fast. In dream, I travel in a train riding happily eating
some food. The happiness is all lost in a few seconds because the train seems to
be flying and fall inside ocean. Such kind of things do not happen in normal
waking condition.

Now, what is my interaction with Easwara? Nothing direct with him. There is a
body during waking and dreaming and I transact with it but remain unaware
about the presence of Easwara. During sleep also I am unaware of Easwara. If
Easwara deals with only the gross elements, I always take it for granted that he
is existing but least bothered about him. Even though Gross elements play, I
seldom notice it. I am consciously aware of the presence of them, transact with
them but in my mind I feel no necessity to communicate with them. Why do I shy
away from Easwara? Why I cannot accept it as Maya?

On one side, I feel the urge to expand. It is this urge created that forms life in
me. On the other hand, this expansion brings only temporary feelings of
happiness or misery and I have to contract.

Let me take up the ten snakes and try to explain my state of affair with it. I
presume myself to be a conscious being with no specific name or form.
Snake Poison Effect
Maya Covers Eternality of me is covered, and false individuality
oneness projected. Or the Oneness is covered and.
Anantha Many is Limitation of me as Individual and there are many
projected individuals .This limitation is the basic memory with
which I live and die.
Vasuki Personality To overcome this limitation, I create a virtual
transactional I. This virtual I is needed to expand
but the real I is afraid.
Taksha Intelligence To verify I receive the correct memory, I have to cross
or check it to prevent any mistake.
Understand
ing
Karkotaka Mind For the virtual I to grow, I require a desiring as well
as acting mind which can provide proper input about
 outside environment .
Padmaka Prana ,Time The expanding mind requires a tool called body and
to operate it require vitality. With the expense of
prana, sense of time sets in.
Maha Space How do I feel space? Only from sound. I have to
Padmaka create as well as receive sound.
Shankha Air Expansion is possible only with a bigger skin. With a
bigger body, I feel having grown and expanded. How
do I sense size and reach? By feeling air and having
hands for grabbing to reach out.
Kulika Fire I have to see whether there are other individuals and
at the same time has to move my whole body. Seeing
and walking.
Paundrakal Water Because of the efforts of ears, speak, feel, grab, see
ika and walk my body becomes hot and tired. So I require
food and drink. Eating and excretion.
Naga Earth Breathing (Smell) and procreation to sustain
expansion.

So it is my effort to expand that made me what I am now. It all happened

because of false memory, the false memory that I am limited and non eternal.

Or

I am not one with absolute but feels one among many.

Dated 25th October 2016

On reading various Upanishads, there is a peculiar feature that I notice. In almost

all texts, I come across statements to the effect that Humans are superior to
animals, trees or bacterium. What brazen claim is this? How do we consider
being superior to any animal or bacteria? Where from that tall claim came? How
do we think we know what is there in a dogs mind? The way we observe them
apparently leads us to say this. But is it real? Do we really know what is there in
the mind of a dog? Suppose the dogs are more realized soul than us, they know
already that there is God within them, so they do not really care how they act or
what another animal called human think about them. Suppose the snakes
already know that the world what you imagine is only a poison from them? Wont
they be laughing at us? Suppose they unite with us and want to realize God?
Certainly we are not in a position to take any sides and say they are superior to
us or inferior to us.

But all we can do is to open our heart and be bold to remove this superior
feeling. We need not love them but we need not hate them also. What right we
got to abuse them? Remove the body from them; body is only an appearance, a
false imagination in our mind. Then what we see is only the same soul operating.
Let me try to explain God or describe God.

He is odorless, tasteless, formless, unfelt by skin, and soundless silence.

He cannot be reached by procreation, eating, walking, grabbing or speech.

He is unthinkable, desire less, without ego or memory.

Since he is without form, he does not breathe or do any actions.

He is not in any of our actions hence is the inaction among actions. The actions
include those of nature like rising and setting of sun, moon, heating of fire,
motion of air or sound of speech.

Does he remain cutoff from us from all possible avenues of communicating with
him? No. We are always communicating with him. Without him, his presence, no
action happens. He is present as the spectator or witness yet without his
presence no action is possible. Seen from this angle, he is action amidst non
actions. Rest of all are inactive without him.

The objects have five properties. Out of them the three namely Existence, Power
to be grasped by us as object and the power to attract our senses these three
came from Brahman. Name and Form from Maya.

Does this Universe exists or is it illusion or imagination by our mind? It exists and
there is no doubt about it. But not in the form or name we imagine them to be.
Hence the imagination is nothing but seeing the power in one particular way and
not the other possible ways.

We see objects. There is reflecting light or reflecting EM rays that falls on an

object and reflected back. Our eyes capture it and draw a mental picture from
this captured energy. Hence we see an object instead of only reflected light. The
existence of EM rays and their reflection reaching our eyes cannot be disputed.
To that point it has reality.

But what happens next? Our mind draws a picture. Now, this is imaginary.

The entire Universe is perceived by us not as what they actually are but as the
picture imagined by us. Supposing we take out imagination and start seeing the
world as comprising of electrons, protons and neutrons which they are actually
are or as mere EM waves to be more precise, we are among only the waves, but
we imagine them to be world.

Suppose we apply this logic to our body, then we can see our body or the body
through which we perceive the word is also wave. Hence the body and world are
nothing but interaction of waves. Even though waves interact in many ways,
mind perceives a particular interaction only leaving aside rest of interactions and
creates a partial picture. This partial picture is the world.
What you like is disliked by another because the differences in the imaginations.
If I assume Mind, intelligence and memory to be of the same type among all
humans, then what makes them to imagine the same wave-wave interaction in
many different ways? This is because of the imagined individuality. I imagine that
I am a particular individual and try to see the world the way I want it to be seen
rather than what is actually out there. This bias has come from the personality or
the virtual I that I have created or imagine to be. This has become necessary
because I see many in place of one.

Are there many individuals or not in this world? If I realize that this I is also
waves, and virtual then There is only One and not Many. If I refuse to accept that
the I is only virtual but is real, then I see many. Just by changing the idea about
me, I am seeing only One and not many. Now which is true? One or Many? From
one perspective many seems to be right but in another perspective One seems
to be correct. This is Maya.

Is there one force called Maya that exerts force on me and make me to believe in
many? Obviously Not. The existence of such force is also imagination. The fact is
that I did not know how to see One. In its place I was imagining many. I imagined
so because I fail to remember that it is the virtual wave function called I that
was seeing and not the real I. So Maya seems to be only my own figment of
imagination rather than a force right out there acting.

The real I is only witnessing, witnessing the actions of virtual I.

Dated 26 October 2016

The funniest question to ask is What is Consciousness?.

The very fact that you ask this question is because you are consciousness. Even
if you do not ask, still you are aware that you are keeping quiet. It is that
awareness which is me. I am not only aware of external world but I am also
aware that I am aware. Where is it ? Not in body, mind, intelligence, or in life
forces. It is in the I. I as a subject is in the condition of awareness, beyond all
mind etc. I am aware I am acting or not acting. This I is the real universal
subject. I am aware all the external world which include the personality I have
projected, the ego, intelligence, memory, mind, senses, body, life forces etc.

Let me assume what if I am unaware of the body? I will not be acting through the
body. Will I stop breathing or my heart will stop pumping? No. Only my
awareness of body is lost, not my awareness of my life. I am fully aware that I am
alive. So to keep up life, body continues involuntary functions.

Body Mind requires consciousness for their existence. Does consciousness

require body or mind to exist?

A new experience:

I am sitting in sea shore and watching sea. Waves rise, fall, one is drowned by
another bigger wave, a moment of triumph for the big wave. Then it also hits the
shore, looses power only to return back to the sea. Why the waves arise? If it is
due to air, why should water allow air to act on it? Simply because water does
not care. Sea does not care whether the waves arise or move because it is damn
sure the waves will come back to it and there is no other way. Air also does not
bother because after all, once the wave hits shore the water is returned back and
whatever air is doing is to give life to millions of creatures living inside the sea.
Air does its duty and that is all.

The shore is also not bothered about waves hitting it because it is sure the waves
will return back to sea. If the shore gets eroded still shore does not bother
because after all it only supports the sea. Of there is no earth beneath the water,
can the water stay?

Earth exists and it provides for the existence of sea. Without water, there will be
no earth because there will be nothing to cool the fire. Earth came out of cooling.
Hence no problem.

Now, let me compare myself with the shore. The waves of mind goes back to the
mind. The waves are called Maya and they go back to the source. If imagination
is maya, the waves will go back to imagination only. Even otherwise, imaginary
waves called space and time will act on these imaginary waves and nullify it.

Dated 29th October

Having meditated on the above theories, one thing is clear. There is clear
reasoning, logic and explains everything as cause and effect. It assumes cause
and effect which are both maya to be Gods own power. Why there should be an
effect at all? Can cause or effect be the work of God? If it is maya and only an
appearance, why mind think and attribute everything to have a cause? Why the
mind thinks in one particular way and tries to reason out everything using
intelligence? Cant be there a cause without effect or vice versa?

When everything other than God or Brahman is only maya, where are causes and
effect or reasoning intelligence? Is this limited reasoning of human mind capable
of reading God? In other words, can intelligence ever read or realize God? Once
he is explained, God becomes more of object.

Who is God? He is the one who is laughing at you from within when you
desperately try to locate him through Veda, Homam, Sandhya vandana, Mantra
Japa, Yoga, Vedanta etc. If you want to catch him through mind or intelligence or
even blind devotion he will never show off. It is only when I realized the futility of
my body, sense organs, mind, intelligence and ego he shows himself. He
removed all doubts in me. I can say he is always with me. Am I and he the same?
Are we different? Am I a part of him? These philosophical questions are of no use.
I can say this much, without him I am not. Whether he will be there without me? I
do not know and do not want to know.

Someone has realized God to be of such and such form. This does not mean I
also can see him in the same format. There may be limitations. Each and every
individual is different. The ways, means and forms need not be the same. But the
irony is that only when this little I is abandoned, merging with God is possible.
God definitely shows him off if there is sincerity.

Faith is the head. Without faith, no realization can ever happen. This is not a
blind faith because someone told so. It is the innermost faith and belief of God.
Righteousness is the right wing. What is righteousness? It is not pure dharma. It
is much more than that. I did not do anything as per dharma willingly. It
happened so because it did not happen the other way. Had adharma not been
there which acted as a deterrent, dharma is ever possible? Righteousness is
beyond dharma or adharma. Just because I have not murdered someone does
not mean I have dharma. Had the prisons or police were not there, could it have
prevented me from killing someone?

What is truth? There is nothing else important to me other than reaching

Narayana. This is right and this is truth. The cosmic mind supports this. It is only
when this is understood, the next layer is visible which is anandamaya kosa.
30th October 2016

The three gunas a glance on the formation of world

Pure Satva or Rajo or Panchikarana Tamo , Gross Bye

Tanmat receivin acting Thamo elements product
ra g Instrument acted upon - Tamo
Instrume Object
nt
Space Ear Speech of space+ 1/8 Gross Space Sound
from each of
rest
Air Skin Hands of Air+ 1/8 Gross Air Sound &
from each of Touch
rest
Fire Eyes Feet of Fire+ 1/8 Gross Fire Sound,
from each of Touch and
rest Shape
Water Tongue Anus of Water+ 1/8 Gross Water Sound,
from each of touch.
rest Shape and
taste
Earth Nose S Organ of Earth+ 1/8 Gross Earth Sound,
from each of touch,
rest shape,
taste and
smell

Mind acts through ear, receives sound. Suppose I hear the sound Orange Juice,
immediately my mind perceives the sound, recollects the meaning from
memory. Stage 1

The memory comes with other properties like taste of juice, the shape like
watery etc, feel like coldness, fragrance of juice etc associated with it and
spurns up imagination. . Stage 2

It agitates the mind and makes the mind to think of it, grab it and enjoy it ..
Stage 3

Hands, Feet, Eyes, Ears, Body, Tongue, Nose, Anus( Stomach), S. Organs
( Indirectly like I am a male, I require it etc) all are employed to reach out for
juice.. Stage 4

Body grabs it, drinks it and enjoys it. Mind, Understanding, Ego, Memory all are
satisfied.. Stage 4

Satva perceives thamo as object with the help of action by Rajo. This is what the
3 gunas do.
But why should be a perception at all? From all these, I understand that mind
gets agitated. Why does it get agitated? There is imagination. Imagination
projects. This is not due to memory or ego or intelligence. It is the projecting
power of imagination.

Supposing there is no imagination then what will happen? All information

received from buddhi will remain as mere information. No agitation will result.
Supposing I hear the news that it rains in USA I am not bothered. There is no
agitation in me because I am living in a far away country called India. Supposing
I am Universal and exist everywhere, I cannot remain silent. I will be afraid that
at least a part of body will become wet. I may be Universal or I may be localized.
The truth can be any way. But the imagination of a localized body gets me
happiness. I am happy to be veiled by Maya, this veiling enables me to enjoy. So
I am not bothered about this veil. This veil also may be imagination. But this
imagination has only benefited me and did not harm me. So why bother? On one
hand I , the pure soul may be existence, consciousness, bliss and infinite. But
without imagination of finiteness, can I ever enjoy anything however small it can
be?

Let me start it all over again from Sound. Sound seems to be the most subtle to
understand. Sound kindles the imagination. Exactly sound creates the sense of
body and outside world. If there is no sound, Suppose I feel deaf and dumb for 5
minutes. What happens? I can close my eyes and may not see any form both
within me and outside of me. But if I try to switch off my ears, the amazing thing
happens, mind starts generating sounds and make me feel as though I am
hearing something from outside.

I tried to recollect some pictures of what I dreamt yesterday. I could not

remember even a single picture. Once in two dozen dreams, I am able to
recollect the picture. But in all dreams, I am able to recollect the sounds, the
words that I spoke as well as what I heard in dreams. Sound seems to be more
subtle and kindles imagination.

When I see you, my mind does not draw a picture of you immediately but only
when I hear your voice the mind draws picture. When I receive a call from you, I
identify you by voice itself though I am not seeing you.

Sound has this character. Suppose I see a murder happening in front of me. The
images of the murderer or the person who got murdered do not stay long in my
memory. But the scream of the dying man can never be forgotten.

Going a little further, sound seems to be the one that induces dreaming and
awakening. It is astonishing to hear people saying I Had A Sound Sleep. It
should be soundless sleep. If there is sound, how can you have a sleep?

Mind, Memory, Understanding , Ego or the feeling that I am a living jeevan

cannot exist without object. These all put together is simply mind because it is
mind that functions in these five states. I am a living being Space, My memory
Air, My mind Fire, My intelligence Water and My self- earth. Since sound is
connected with space, it is intrinsically connected to the feeling that I am a living
being which seems to be so close to consciousness.

Today 30th October

I dream of getting New house. Now the basic requirement is that it should be well
connected, eatery, provision and vegetables at door step, schools and colleges
nearby. The basic problem I face here is Heat and Ghost. I tried to recollect from
my memory any location not haunted or free from one form of pollution or
another. There seems to be not much choice. Either there is dust pollution or
water availability. I do not want to get into more trouble by moving out. There are
no angels out there. But should I be living with these problems? How to escape
the climbing up 3 storey or put up with direct frying heat? A lift and a shed on
the terrace will solve these problems. How about ghost? I am becoming older
and the effect is seen in my body. The dreams of a happy colony has almost
ended. Surroundings are the same wherever I go. The ghosts appearing in areas
like Alwarpet, Mylapore, Elliot Road are more daunting and I do not think they will
ever allow me to sleep in rest. The best I can see of is West Mambalam. They
look to be better. But are they really better? What is there wandering in mid
night is equally scary as in other place.

Can any other village, town, city, or country be better? Language, Culture, Habits
all should match. Can any other place match to my requirements? I cannot think
of any better place. Every city, town every nook and corner seems to be
haunted. It is not going to be easy locating an ideal place for living. I do not have
much of relatives, I am not in talking terms also. Hence my requirements are
more for the basic living. But this is not the case with my wife. Relationships are
important for her and I also have to consider that also. Living in a remote village
in Kumbakonam will be good but how about the requirements of my Son and his
career? If I live separately then it is alright. But can I live without him? Who else
do I have?

I accept that there are ghosts living here in this colony and they make all their
efforts to undermine my efforts. All my efforts are neutralized by these. But have
they done only harm to me? I was able to come out stronger. It will be better If I
leave these to God and concentrate on the work I have now. My mind is limited
and I cannot think of more options. But the knowledge of God is manifold and I
should trust him to decide what is best for me.

I have all along was thinking that maya is one which appears and disappears in a
second. But what Vedanta claims maya is of different variety. The disappearance
of world as illusion does not take place on its own. It requires structured
thinking.

There are limitations for Science. Science can explain why things happen in one
particular way. Why it has not happened the other way cannot be fully explained.
Apple fell and Gravity was found. Why at all apple should fall? Why it did not
remain in the tree itself is something that science can never explain. Why the
fruits be part of stem? Where is the urge to propagate? What makes a tree bring
forth a seed? Why it has to reproduce? If a tree does not have consciousness can
it try to live or reproduce? What makes it to live? Why do we live at all? It is not
because we have mind and mind directs us to live. It is the other way around. We
live and to live we develop mind. Mind was totally blank when we were born. It
has grown because of the stimuli we receive from outside. But the fundamental
question will remain, why do we live at all? Why I prefer not being dead? I may
try to live even without mind or intelligence if they are to be given up to live and
exist. It is the urge to exist in all circumstances. That urge is consciousness. I feel
existing because I am conscious, in other words if something is existing it is
because of consciousness.

31st October

I am having repeated dreams on Cauvery Nagar. What is so great about

Pudukkottai or Cauvery Nagar or Narthamalai? Why have I forgotten all the evils
that were present in those places and imagine that something great was
happening? Was living in Cauvery Nagar a pleasure? No. There was no chance for
even getting food in that place. Narthamalai or Pudukkottai were also of the
same category. Was I not tormented by low caste idiots there?

What is there in a train? Train can carry people. Can it ever carry sensations?
Railway station is one more place like a bus stand or auto stand. Trains halt,
passengers get down, some get in, the train leaves. What more is there in a
train? Why all fancy and imagination about this? What is there in Narthamalai?
Nothing more than a low caste temple.

What is there in Premier? It is a company owned by low caste sudra. I took up job
there because I did not get a suitable one to boast my ego. What good it did to
me? I landed in the so called temple of Sastha believing on dharma. Is not
dharma is also a maya? Why I dream of these?

Memory is playing tricks. Memory tries to project experiences of past into future
happening. Why I am not able to think of present and present alone?

What is great in Arasalur or Srirangam/Trichy? The same thing of memory playing

tricks and nothing more. Received call from Subramani. Another kindling of
memory by Maya? Memory kills us. It is through memory I live. Past is already
over. Why should I be kindling it? It will never come back. Once I tried to
remember everything. All these seems useless in the current situation. So this so
called karma is nothing but memories. Memories do not erase themselves. They
remain in backdrop ready to be activated by any single instance. What is
ultimately there in my memory? It is the record of some events that happened or
experiences. In what way they are meaningful now? They have lost all their
meaning long time ago. How true these instances were? Suppose I remember
someone who abused me long time back. I show hatred to him even now. Let me
analyze this more closely. Some words were spoken which I projected as abuse.
What are these words except sound? Does it carry meaning in itself or the
meaning was supplied by me? The meaning was supplied by me. Inherently
sound do not carry meaning with it. I supply the meaning.
These sounds originate from a thought. It is a mere thought by some one. He has
expressed it in words. Suppose I say I have seen God, he is the most pleasurable,
most beautiful etc, exactly what meaning it conveys? It conveys two things.
Firstly it tells that I have seen God. Secondly I felt pleasure and beauty. Are both
one and the same? The first is a narration of incident. The second one is the
state of me at that instance. Can both be the same? To whom beauty or pleasure
belongs to? Does it belong to God or me? It belongs to me only. Now, how can I
say God is pleasurable or beautiful? If I gained peace after seeing God, to whom
peace belongs to?

Any one who hears me saying I have seen God, he is the most pleasurable,
most beautiful etc, connects the act of seeing God with pleasure or beauty and
perceive. Now this connecting is relative. Without connecting one with another,
no perception will be possible. These perceptions exist only till the connection
exists. If the connection is broken, no perception is possible. Even when I say I
remember, I am connecting this to the condition of non-remembrance that
existed prior to my remembering. Without connecting or relating, many can
never be known. The idea of limitedness is not due to any other thing but
connecting. The world what I perceive is only this connections. I am providing the
connection between 2 experiences. I cannot see the instances as that and this
separately.

Who connects these? It is mind. Memory provides data for connection and mind
connects. Mind cannot act without memory and vice versa. What is there in the
memory is data and wrong data. The sweetness of sugar, the fragrance of flower,
the beauty of a painting, the feel of heat, the sound of alphabets are all
imaginary. Electromagnetic impulses are read as smell, taste, shape, feel and
sound. What is out there in the world or what we call as world is these impulses
only and nothing more.

November 1, 2016

I shall take up dreams. I see lot of bad dreams. Now, this subject has been dealt
in tantra. My subtle body is made of Memory, Intellect, Ego and Mind. Now, the
question of which starts, which sequence they act are really baffling and cannot
be easily determined. Whether emotions come first from mind which triggers
memory which in turn activates ego and intelligence is unknown. But common
logic tells a different story. Mind is commonly used for sense gratification. When
there is nothing to do like in sleep, mind switches off. Intelligence also shuts off.
Ego also goes to sleep. Now only memory is active. Now, consciousness kindles
memory and the memory tries to do the function of ego. Since the intelligence is
switched off, I get unintelligent dreams. There is no logical sequence. This cannot
be the work of mind because I do not wish anything or wish to see a particular
dream. Even if I wish to see a particular dream, they do not come. So, ego or
mind cannot be the one responsible for it. But memory is the culprit. Tantra
groups the following devatas Vatayaksini, Varahi, Jyestha, Karnapisacini,
Svapnesvari, Matangi, Banesi, Madanesvari. This grouping is very interesting.
Now, in dream I feel my body but have never seen my body. In waking also I
seldom see my body. But occasionally I see my body. But where from those
fearful non happenings come from? Do these so called goddesses have a role?
Unless I get rid of the sounds I hear in silence and dreaming, Brahma vidya is
distant.

November 02, 2016

South east North west

May 15 to June 15 mid day October 15 to November 15 mid day

Suddenly I remember having read about quantum field and tried to recollect
Narayana guiding me to do meditation facing northwest. What Narayana
conveyed to me was to ride along the waves.

Coming to consciousness, the more and more I think of world or myself, I am

getting knowledge on Brahman. Seeing oneness among diverse properties called
world is difficult. But seeing what property is, diversity does not matter at all.

Today November 03, 2016

I have been thinking about consciousness. Everyone is aware. May not be aware
of what I am aware but there is awareness in general. Why cannot be this
awareness a common property of all beings? If awareness is only a property,
being is also only awareness. Are they separate? Because I am aware, I feel I am
here. When there is no awareness, I do not feel I am there. But I was there is
confirmed by me waking up and regain all memory of the previous day
happenings. So I assume I was there, even though I did not know what went on. I
was not aware of surroundings but on waking I became aware that I was there
sleeping.

But this awareness does not tell me anything about me. The question Who Am
I? still persists.

On meditating suddenly I started to realize. I am a container with in which the

nature exists as waves and God Narayana floating among waves. So more I
think of it, more I am convinced that

1. I am not consciousness, Consciousness resides in me. I can be conscious

as well as unconscious at my will.
2. I am not existence. The feel of existence exists within me. I am the
container. If I prefer, I can be non-existing also.
3. I am not endless, I can become limited also. The choice is mine.
4. The ego, intelligence, mind, prana and the body are not outside me.
Rather I contain all of them. What is there in my body? It is nothing but EM
waves. I do not bother.
5. This may look strange and unconventional. But strangeness and
convention are only to reaffirm the views of intelligence. If the views of
intelligence were false, why bother?
6. I use this body not only for sensory perception but to house the God within
me in the heart.
7. My prana is located outside my physical body and operating my body.
Similar is the case of other kosas.
8. I am the one who contains all these. On death, the kosas outside my
physical body opens out enabling the physical body to be cremated. But I
remain there with Narayana within me but without this physical body.
9. The entire Universe is contained within me. I enclose both prakriti and
purusha. Both operate within me. I am self contained.
10.If I wanted to take physical body, I am born again by shrinking myself
entering the uterus. But this choice is made by me only.
11.So I am just like a shell or container containing within me everything you
name it. Names and forms exist within me.
12.It looks just the opposite of Taitriya Upanishad. It is natural because this
Upanishad is what was vomited. What is vomited will be just the opposite
of food eaten, is it not?
13.It is astonishing. The more I think of this model, the more I am convinced.
The only thing that remains to be explained is the difference among
people, animals etc. Here lies the trick. Whenever I am meeting a person,
first it is my anandamaya kosa in contact with the other person. The
interactions happen between the Anandaya, Vignanamaya, Manomaya,
Pranamaya then Annamaya kosas in the same order. Except annamaya all
others are subtle and subtler forces cannot be held trapped inside harder
ones.
14.If this theory is applied to Narayana Is Narayana the hardest one? No. This
is the point where the I concentrates all its energy The reason is it is
purely spiritual energy and not electromagnetic energy as in nature.
15.The differences among people, animals are read always in conjunction
with their kosas or gunas. I do not try to separate the spirit from Gunas.
Once I read them separately, among all living beings I understand that the
feeling of I is common among all. In short, when this I of me sees
another I in another living being, there is no difference. But when read
along with the gunas, there is division. The divisions are due to natural
forces and not among individual Is. Since perception is always due to
association of I with natural forces, and since there is variation of natural
forces that are associated with individual Is, the variety is perceived. In
short, one common I by identifying with different forces sees difference.
16.So this I is the subtlest one that undergoes all sufferings, that has 3
states of sleep, dream and awake.
17.This I is called as Easwara, Hiranyagarba or vaisvanara to indicate the
universality of this feeling.
18.It is this I which is formed as the image of Narayana, and forms the basis
of Universe.
19.This image will last as long as there is mind.
20.Erasing this image is not possible. But the individual I and Universal I
can be realized to be the same.
21.This is called individual soul which undergoes transmigration. The most
baffling part of transmigration is this I never changes. When it was in
 some body prior to birth, this birth or next birth, irrespective of the body or
mind it is connected with, one gets the same feeling of this I.
22.The person is Narayana and his feeling of I is Narayani or Lakshmi. The
state of conscious or identity.
23.Having found out who I am, I no longer wish to live. This I wants to
die, This I wants to shed the consciousness, its existence and return
back to the original Narayana.

Today 5th November

Deep space is full of sounds. The energy that speaks in space is fire, cosmic fire.
Humans are also cosmic and hence God of speech is fire, Divine fire and this fire
is fuelled by water.

Deep space is full of light. Since there is nothing to reflect, space appears dark in
night. Divine light illumines space. Sun god is the illuminator.

Reflecting moon light is called soma.

There can be other sensations also but I am not sure whether I can enjoy it.

I tried to understand and define space. Exactly what is space?

Let me try understanding space. In the room where I am sitting, I can see some
furniture. I can see the room with furniture. Now I remove the furniture. I say now
there is more space to move. Has any new space created in the room? No, the
room continues to be the same size it was. Then why do I feel there is more
space?

Let me follow it more closely. The room is filled up with air. There is furniture that
occupied the volume of air, which when moved out enabled air to occupy the full
space within room. Is it the allowance that I give for air to occupy which I call it
space?

Let me see sky. There appears space. Science says it is full of light even in night
also. Since there are no large objects there to reflect, the space appears dark
except for the moon and stars. The very fact that I see moon shows there is light
in space. Since there is no object it appears to be vast. Supposing there are lot of
planets, say billions of planets in that distance, the space will not look as vast as
it appears but cramped. Instead of air, here I give allowance to light to occupy
and call it space.

Giving allowance to occupy literally means the medium. In first case, the medium
air appeared to have shrunk and in the second case it is light.

Much closer look will say objects appear to us because they reflect light. So in
the first case also, it must be the light that I gave allowance for. Effectively space
is an appearance because it appears to my eyes in the form of reflected light.

Suppose I keep the furniture in the room and try to visualize the same in
darkness. I cannot see any space because everywhere it is dark. When I move
around, unless I stumble on one furniture, I cannot say there is furniture. Even
when I knew there is furniture, I do not feel any space. Once I switch on light, I
can see there is little space in the room.

If I close my eyes, I do not feel space but when I open my eyes I see space. So
space must be visual experience. Light is space and since light is related to
sound, then sound is indicated as space because in darkness, if I hear someone
talking, I may not be aware of space or shape but I can definitely say there is
someone out there. Here sound replaces light to give the experience of seeing
someone.

Now, since light, sound, objects, my body are all primarily energy the less
condensed energy seems to have more space and vice versa. When everywhere
there is only energy, what do I mean by space? Is it only a mental imagination
and nothing more?

Let me take up time. What does time indicates? It indicates the position of earth
in relation to sun in space. If space itself is imagination, how can there be time?

I am certain I am different from others. I do not want to compare myself with

anyone. I know I am different. I thought it to be a superiority complex. But on
introspection, I find that I made a mistake. What feeling I had was that I am not
this body or mind. This is the original feeling and I misread it to be that I am
different from other beings.

I do not feel that I exist as a separate experience. I always take it for granted and
this was hidden or I presupposed it. This existence is something I do not have
any doubt at all. Like consciousness, this existence is always there. The only
worries were that I felt limited by space and time. But that is imagination. Vasthu
Paricheda is something I will take up tomorrow.

The properties of object is 5 fold. Three namely Existence, Power to be grasped

by us as object and the power to attract our senses these three came from
Brahman. Name and Form from Maya.

Let me try these on the waves surrounding me. The entire universe is energy in
wave form. This includes my mind, body etc. Energy exists. The properties of
existence, the power to be grasped as object and the power of attraction are the
3 main components that came from Brahman.

The name called energy and the form called EM forces is maya. Now, the power
to be grasped as object manifests as personal God. This definitely attracts my
senses. If these two are not there, I will never search for God.
 Subject Acting Medium jiva Object can be
Paramathma also called Mind, another
memory, conscious
intelligence, individual or
Individuality, physical objects
Existence Original existence Borrowed from Borrowed from
Brahman Brahman
Consciousness Original Borrowed from Borrowed from
Consciousness Brahman Brahman
Perception None Specific for Specific
individual depending on
object
Power to be Present Derived from the Derived from
grasped as object consciousness the
borrowed consciousness
borrowed
Power to attract Present Derived from the Derived from
consciousness the
borrowed consciousness
borrowed
Space Unlimited Limited Limited
Time Unlimited Limited Limited
Objects Unlimited Limited Limited
Name No Specific Name Specific Name
Form No Specific Form Specific Form
Properties No Specific properties Specific
due to Gunas properties due
to Gunas

From the table above, the following points are clear.

The Subject Object relationship, which is called Universe is due to interaction

between Names, Forms, Gunas and perception on both subject as well as object.

Jiva assumes to be subject. This subjective attitude is because of ignorance.

Feeling of limited I, Individual, Memory, Intelligence, Mind, Ego all these have
root in consciousness or consciousness prompts these feelings. But the feelings
are maya, born from ignorance. All these arise due to the presence of gunas.
Where from gunas came? It is called maya. Maya is nothing but the presence of
Gunas also called Prakriti, Nature, Maha maya etc.

Let me rework on maya to understand more clearly. Let me take up 2 properties

of objects, the power to be grasped as object and the power of attraction.
Consider any object devoid of these two properties. That object even if existing
cannot be grasped as object, which means I cannot hear, touch, see, taste or
smell that object. I cannot grasp by mind, reasoning, memory or ego. I have not
come across such an object.

If something does not attract us means something which does not touch my
senses or mind, reasoning, memory and ego. How will I come to know of such an
object?

Maya or nature borrows these properties from Brahman. Without this, nature as
such cannot present itself as an object for my perception.

The attracting power and objectifying power comes only from consciousness.
This must be true for even insentient things like stones etc. So for every
perception, it is not only that the person or subject should be conscious, the
object should also have consciousness how much small it can be.

Let me assume the following. Subject Sathva, Rajo, Thamo ratio (1,3,6)

Object say a stone

(0,0,10)

The One part satva in me can perceive object because of the gradient. 1 vs 0, 3
vs 0, 6 vs 10. Even if I am inert still I can see the stone and act by using rajo like
throwing that stone away.

Suppose subject is (9,0,1) & Object (0,0,10) I can perceive the stone but cannot
act on it because I do not have power to act.

Suppose I am (4,4,2) and object is another person (4,4,2) I do not perceive him
nor he perceives me.

Subject Object Guna Reaction from me Reaction from object

guna
10,0.0 Any thing other I can see it It can never see me
than 0
0,10,0 Any thing other Mindless action by They can see me but
than 0 me never act on me
0,0,10 Any thing other I become object He becomes subject, he
than 0 can see me and act on
me.
1,4,4 0,4,4 I can see but not He cannot see and
act cannot act

So from the above table, it becomes clear that the more and more I become
satvic, I will perceive more, act less and at one point I will be seeing alone not
acting and not becoming a subject of perception. I will be totally hidden even
though I will be fully aware. This is the one closest to godliness but still not God.
This is the witness mode.
The condition is the sum total of 3 gunas shall be limited to 10. This is called
limitedness.

God has no such limitations. Even if he has all the three as infinite, since he is
aware of how gunas arise and he is capable of controlling them he is all powerful.
How does he achieve this? He is consciously aware that these gunas are nothing
but the effect of his own unlimited consciousness. Hence by mere will he
transforms this Universe.

Since I do not have this unlimited consciousness and I have to be at the mercy of
him because my own existence is borrowed from him, I am this helpless
individual.

This individuality called I has to realize this beyond all doubts and once this
helplessness is realized, the mercy of God will be showered and this limited
individual also become liberated.

In short, what I perceive as Universe is only energy and is energy waves. These
waves owes their existence as well as the power to be grasped by me, attracting
my attention to Narayana alone.

This limited I is also a wave, owing my existence, consciousness, power to be

grasped, attracting power, name, form etc all borrowed. I do not exist, you
alone exist Narayana.

November 07, 2016

Today I wanted to take a relook on prana. Let me understand prana. Prana is life.
Narayana is living. He is living because he has prana. He is eternal and unlimited.
So life as prana must be unlimited and eternal. Irrespective of whether I live or
not, prana will continue to be there. Not only that, prana expands and this is the
reason for the propagation.

Prana seems to produce consciousness. It cannot be the other way around. When
I am lying unconscious, still prana is acting. Subsequently I can become
conscious. So consciousness has a peculiar way of expressing. If waking,
dreaming, sleeping are the 3 modes of consciousness, what about coma or
unconsciousness of swoon?

If this I is connected to consciousness, with what prana is connected with?

For argument sake, if I suppose consciousness is always there and acting, when I
feel unconscious but living who gave life to the body? So this subject I is only a
mental feeling reaffirmed by memory and understanding. If this I is reflection
of pure consciousness, when the reflection is not there like in amnesia or non
remembrance of my previous birth, without prana how did I live prior to this
birth? Consciousness sustains on prana. Without prana, no consciousness is
possible.

Consciousness is the I feeling but prana is universal.

Life force remain life force for ever. When it attaches to body, we feel life.
Because I feel life, I get consciousness. Without attaching to the body, it can
remain as astral body or seed and transmigrate.

If consciousness alone was there and prana came out from it, which prana was
acting on that consciousness? If consciousness resides within itself, then also
what sustains consciousness?

Immediately this had affected me. I started getting the dream of my father being
alive enjoying his after death life. Am I guilty of killing my father? Why have I
been struggling for the past 16 years? After all it is the suggestion of the neuro
surgeon to clean the bed soar with alcohol. May be I could have poured a little
more than what he could tolerate. But the intention was clearly to cure him fast
and not to kill him. Why am I guilty of being a murderer? Have I committed a sin?
Have I done a heinous crime? Am I affected with Brahmahathi dosha? Why did I
run away from my house? Is it that dosham following me as a shadow and killing
me on a daily basis? Why I did not have the guts to ask forgiveness from all?
Why this is tormenting me? Is it not the so called God in Tirupathi called Balaji
who has very clearly told me that my father will not survive? Is it not the very
first day when I started the worship of this Balaji my father was admitted to
hospital? Is it not the same Balaji who bluntly turned down my request to keep
my father alive? Is it not the same Balaji who expressed his incapability to grant
moksha? Is he not the same one who wanted to stop me from going to
Hyderabad? Did he not keep mum when I was suffering? He is indebted to me
and he deserve to be being a slave of me, am I not having that right? Why
should I beg this idiot? I definitely do not want to see him nor meru.

The message is from my soul. My soul is my God. Now I realize that the idea
that prana is required to keep the soul alive is false. It is the other way
around. It is soul who provides prana, consciousness and other paraphernalia
required to enable me get a living experience. If I seek to live, this little
identity called I or ego wishes to live with a body, either gross or subtle the
wish is granted by the soul within me. If I wish to see Narayana, it is my soul
who provided me the opportunity. But why should I bother with these things
which came as afterthought? Why should I assume that my soul is limited or
even there is an entity called Narayana outside of me to grant liberation?
Why dont I think my soul is superior and is the only boss of me? Narayana
may be soul or it may be the wish of soul to be called as Narayana. This may
be the reason why my soul was insistent on reciting Narayana Suktham. My
soul is my family deity.

Why should I assume that my soul will not show him to me? If the baby which
I started seeing is not my soul, who else it can be? Why should I feel that my
soul is not the boss? If my soul within whom I live is not playing with me, how
can a distant Narayana can come and play with me?
 It is not correct to see myself as body, prana, mind, ego, intelligence,
memory, happiness, Narayana etc. My soul seems to be much above the
order.

My physical requirements and desires are fulfilled by my Atman. My mental,

aspiration, intellectual, memorable requirements and desires are fulfilled by
my Atman. In case I am born in some other religion and pray God as per that
religion, wont the soul show that God to me? When I wanted to see Kali etc
did not my soul show them to me?

Who wrote the vedic books? Is it not the soul behind them? Is my soul
different from your soul or same soul is felt by me and you? I cannot say
definitely, neither you. All I can say is I realized my soul and you also claim
the same. I can in no way verify or vouch your claims.

When I pray to my soul to give me something, it gives. On the contrary, when

I call my soul Narayana then the interests of others are also taken into
consideration by my soul and many times my soul does not fulfill my desires.
Is it that soul assumes the form of Narayana and decline my request or
Narayana declines the request because it has not been sent through my soul
properly, that is as per Narayana, Soul is superior to Narayana himself?

Why should I call my soul as Brahman when my soul is not interested? Who
makes one to realize Brahman? If soul is inferior or the same as Brahman,
how can soul make me aware of Brahman?

When Vedas tell that I am Brahman does it mean that my atman or soul is the
God for whom I am searching outside?

Who is soul? He is that person who makes me called my I to realize me as

Brahman. In other words, he converts the limited I feeling called maya to
universal.

Soul makes me Godly. If I want to become God, my soul will make me God.
Soul is not Existence, Consciousness and Infinity. It makes me, the maya
called I to escape mundane limited existence and become infinite.

Soul is there and there is maya too. This maya veiled soul and created this
limited individual called Jeeva or limited consciousness by the poison called
anantha. This jeevan got the I feel from Vasuki, Memory from takshaka,
Intelligence from karkotaka, mind or prana from padmaka, ears to hear
sound, voice box to speak from mahapadmaka, skin to feel and hands to grab
from shankhaka, eyes to see and legs to walk from kulika, tongue to taste and
excretory organ from paundrakalika, sex organ and nose to smell from naga.
To the tunes of these poisonous forces this jeevan is dancing.

Today 08 November 2016

I am thinking of time. I have realized that I am always living in anticipation of

future. Let me look at present more closely. By the time I realize Now it has
 already become past. It has already become a memory. The present called
Now is not felt. But I am anticipating Future. What I am anticipating? Once
again waves only. Why should I be anxious to get waves in imaginary future?
Why should I be thinking about future? There is no present, past is only in
memory then where can be future?

Today 10th November 2016

In one graphic I tried to bring in the concept of Vedanta

Narayana

Actions
Subject Mind Body felt Mind, Body (Mind Unfelt)Objects

Experiences

I become object Mind Body felt Actions

Mind, Body
Subject.
(Mind ItUnfelt)
may be the same or different

Experiences

The most astonishing aspect is the same action which I did return back to haunt
me. The person who gives back may be the same person or different. The
experience is the same. Suppose I scold x, I get it back, the same scolding
language from x or y. The time may be different, location may be different. This
law seem to be operating over and above time and space. Unless all the actions
and experiences happen within one Universal soul, how this can be possible?
There can be 2 reasons. Firstly it happens to make me aware to act with more
care and secondly to indicate the universal nature of consciousness.

If the subject, object, actions and experiences are all false, why this happens?
There must be some element of reality in maya.

This is the role played by memory. Memory stores experiences not as a mere
record but which will be presented back to me at a future date indicating the
impact of my action. So karma, rebirth is all located in memory. The access to
memory and understanding is done by way intelligence. Mind simply engages in
actions and collecting experiences.

Today 11th November

I have been thinking of I. It is this I that combines with body and feels I am
body, combines with prana to operate body. It combines with mind and desires,
combines with intelligence and thinks, combines with memory and projects. It
combines with ignorance and feels I. Why this is ignorance? Simply this. I
feels itself separate from God. I am different, God is different and I will realize
God This is the common feeling.

The veiling power of maya creates I. Neither this I Nor maya is a creation of
God. Let me separate I from memory, thought, personality, mind, prana and
body. Irrespective of the removal of memory, thought, personality, mind, prana
and body, still I persists. It seems I do not require memory, thought,
personality, mind, prana and body to exist and be aware. These are mere waves
of projection. I am not any of this memory, thought, personality, mind, prana and
body.

Now, I am left with two things, one myself or my I feeling and the other God.
The difficult question comes now. What is my relationship with God? Am I God
or separate from God. Nothing can be separate from God. Hence I must be from
God. If I am God, then why there are these limitations of space, time , strength
etc? I am fully aware that time does not exist. Space also does not exist. The
effects appear because of the appearance of a cause.

I am unable to realize God because I feel separate. Where this separation

come from? By being separate from God, I benefit. This allows me to enjoy.
Enjoyment comes from objects. To enjoy object, there must be a subject. So I
imagined myself to be there. If this subject I is due to imagination, the world as
object also should be imagination.

The only way to remove the separation is god should show mercy. But this I
came from ignorance in my side. So I have to remove the curtain. How to
remove it? Suppose I call myself Narayana, what will happen to the separating
veiling power? Will it oppose this or support this or not act at all? If it opposes, I
will be dragged more inside Maya prompting Narayana to act. If it supports this,
there will be no issues. If it does not act at all, then my memory, thought,
personality, mind, prana and body will not act in the sense they will not force
me. So in all the three ways, it will be beneficial.

This memory, thought, personality, mind, prana and body seems to a product of
food. The gross food becomes gross body, the subtle ones becomes prana, mind,
ego, memory, intelligence etc. Maya seems to be food, food eats food. Food in
the form of prana eats gross food, converts it to body, mind etc.
Today 12th November

I am slowly coming to terms with this knowledge. But the following points require
clarity.

1. Narayana is pure soul, paramathma who for meditative purposes can be

thought of as a baby.
2. The entire universe is only waves.
3. Now let me see what the diagram will look like

Narayana

Actions
Subject Mind Mind, Objects
Body felt Body
Experien
(Mind
Unfelt)

I become Mind Actions Mind, Subject. It

object Body felt Body may be
Experien
(Mind the same
Unfelt) or
different

Pure consciousness is wave less, absolute serenity.

Maya is waves. The waves may be rhythmic, active or inert. The cause of
appearance of these waves is unknown. But they exist because the existence is
perceived.

It appears from the common view point that Brahman is associated with maya.
From Brahmans point of view, there is no such association or even an awareness
about the maya. From individual point of view, it appears as though Brahman is
connected.

Small waves appearing in pure consciousness is called individual. Jeevathma.

Collection of these jeevathma waves is more rhythmic, pure satva and is Iswara.
The waves because they collide with pure consciousness becomes more and
more rhythmic. They derive their existence, power to be cognized as object and
the power to attract from pure consciousness. This is Anandamayakosha, pralaya
and dissolution. Seed of universe.
Small waves called individual, Jeevathma. This is individual anandamaya kosha,
deep sleep and a temporary contact with Brahman. Seed of Individual. Gross and
subtle bodies are dissolved in this state. This causes I feeling.

The only difference between Easwara and Jeeva is this. The waves called
Easwara is all rhythmic but the individual jeeva or pragjna has activity and
inertia along with rhythm.

Coming to association, consider the image of moon appearing in water. The

image will appear to be shaking or with coloured depending on the condition of
water. Similarly pure consciousness is separate. Individual maya or Pragna and
Iswara gets an image of pure consciousness within them. The movement of
maya is wrongly seen as movement of consciousness.

Iswara is Universal lord, omniscient, undifferentiated, inner guide, antharyami,

avyaktham, immune to individual sufferings.

INDIVIDUAL ISWARA
Jeevathma Realized soul
Rhythm, Activity and Inertia Rhythm only. Do not denote any specific
action.
Produces I No I.
Anandamaya Anandamaya
Individual sleep Cosmic Sleep or pralaya
Individual seed Master seed
Limited knowledge Beyond knowledge
Slave Lordship

Does the maya cover entire atman? No. When we view from within maya, it
appears to be obstructed like a cloud obstructing sun. The maya is like cloud.
When seen under a cloud, sun appears dim. Likewise Atman appears to be
attached when seen through maya. The meaning is one has to directly realize
atman. Maya is nothing but ignorance. Once I remove ignorance, I can realize
atman.

It is only gunas that gives a feeling of jeevan. More satva means I feel more
godly. I have to get rid of even this satva to realize Atman. Veiling power.

It is this ignorance, of not knowing Atman that creates world. Projecting power.

Now, where from these power comes from? It is the power of Atman but misread
by our intelligence. It is due to this misreading, Universe appear to me. Instead
of seeing Atman as rope, I see it as snake.

The wave draws consciousness from God and thinks it to be jeevan or Iswara.

Now, this jeevan or Iswara creates Universe.

God as such has not created anything or he was instrumental for someone to
create. He neither supplies material or knowledge directly. He has the power
called gunas. His energy is three fold and are rhythmic, active or inert. The
permutation & combination of this energy is what appears as I and this Universe.

When I face problem and pray to him, he gives me the requisite power either to
change the universe as per my wish or make me change as per the wish of
universe.

From my standpoint, it is God who created me and Universe. From the point of
view of God, it is his power only and I am mistaking it to be creator.

Let me understand more about Tamo guna. It is pitch darkness. A 100% tamo has
nothing that can be grasped by senses. No sound, feel, form, taste or smell. A
100% satva has only serenity and once again nothing for senses to grasp. So too
is 100% rajo.

To understand better, satva is rhythmic waves like oscillation of pendulum. Even

though it is subjected to force, it comes back to the position where it was or
bounces back to its own property. Without itself moving, it moves other forces.
One end of the wave clings to origin and the other end extends then contracts.
This gives the feeling of continuity. Time for example is the mental feeling and is
due to satva. Satva can be also called Time. But there is no space attached to it.
If we closely look at this, there is no displacement, nothing has happened. But it
gives a feel that something has happened. This is the driving force. This creates
space.

Rajo is random waves or random motion. There is no starting position for this and
hence this is the one that moves. The movement is random even when limited in
space. There is displacement. This is what creates the movement in space.

The satva waves interact with rajo waves and gives them momentum to travel.

Tamo can be compared to matter. Now, what is matter? It is again satva waves
arranged in a sequence or new order of oscillation. On one hand we have
oscillatory waves and random waves acting on them or vice versa. The result is
the random waves are absorbed and becomes oscillatory. What is darkness?
There is no light visible. One oscillatory wave is unable to communicate with
another oscillatory wave because the communication is hindered by the new
order that has set in.

When one oscillatory wave interacts with another oscillatory wave, it produces
peaks. The peaks are the conscious experience.

Now let me move onto the tanmatras.

Now space contains more oscillatory waves, less and less of random waves and
new order waves. This is understandable. Imagine a container with few
molecules. The molecules will be travelling in the space more randomly because
there is no obstruction and is felt as more space. If the number of molecules are
more, space is felt to be less because of hindrance for movement.
Space is more satva less rajo and least thamo.

Element Predominant Second major Minor

Space Oscillatory- Satva Random - Rajo Inert - Tamo
Air Random - Rajo Oscillatory- Satva Inert - Tamo
Fire Random - Rajo Oscillatory- Satva Inert - Tamo
Water Inert - Tamo Random - Rajo Oscillatory- Satva
Earth Inert - Tamo Oscillatory- Satva Random - Rajo

A gradient is formed and this give rise to the distribution of new order.

Now, these tanmatras give rise to subtle bodies and then onto gross elements.
How this happens?

Element Satva Random Rajo Left out

oscillatory Organs of Pranas
Organs of action Rajo
perception
Space Ear Speech Samana Tamo guna
Digestive predominant with
Air Skin Hands Udana going less rajo and little
out satva.
Fire Eyes Legs Vyana
distribution
Water Tongue Anus Apana
Earth Nose Procreation Prana
Memory & Intelligence are derived from space element with more satva, Mind
from satva + Rajo and ego from tamo. Tamo is not something to be afraid of. It is
a new order of waves. Whatever I struggle for in this universe is create a new
order and the impact is recognized as happiness etc in intelligence and
converted to memory. Mind is the active agent and without it mere ego cannot
do anything.

Mind, Intelligence, Egoism and memory are products of satva guna of space, air,
fire, water etc.

Jeevan, Antakaranan means the same subtle body and Mind, Intellect, Ego,
Memory are the names it assumes as per function.

Jeevan or antakarana when deliberating is called mind, when recollects is called

memory, when determines is called intellect and when feels like a person is
called ego. This is also inert and is animated by soul.

Jeevan or antakarana with determining faculty called Intelligence along with

organs of perception constitutes vignanamaya kosa. In other words, it is satvic
and contains satva guna only.

This vignanamaya kosha feels it is agent and enjoyer. Happy, sad etc and is the
one that transmigrates. Also called Vyavahaarika or transactional self.
From the way it is told, one point is emerging clear. If the three gunas can be
thought of as a colour band which transforms from one colour to another, Soul or
paramathma can be compared to colour less or no colour somewhat similar to
colour of water.

Some say the original soul is beyond changes. Now the appearances are there
physically in front of eyes. It can be called as wave-wave interaction and all that
stuff. But the basic question remains, why these waves or what are the waves?
Variety like name, form etc can be unreal like oscillatory, random and new order
etc. But whatever name we call it, there are waves and no dispute can be there.
So it transforms into two component system comprising of soul on one side and
waves on the other side.

In unconscious state, the presence or absence of waves is not felt like in deep
sleep.

In semi conscious state the real physical actions are missing but mind creates a
virtual reality like in dream.

In fully conscious state real physical actions take place as in waking state.

Without I feeling, Memory, Intelligence and Mind this transactional body

disappears and tranquility is obtained, which is turiya state. This is the claim of
Vedanta.

Then the words like Existence, Consciousness, unlimited, Bliss etc refer to what?

The claim that the transactional body receives a reflection of pure consciousness
and hence become conscious is to be studied.

The reflection of pure soul in mind is the causal body, and is called so because
mind etc merges in this reflection as in deep sleep. Same reflection with mind
creating a virtual reality is dream and performing physical action with body is
waking.

A reflection can occur only in either oscillatory or random motion of waves. Once
we understand that the reflection is only a wave and not pure soul, will the
waves remain or not?
Today 14th November

Before taking up the wave, let me realign myself. The maya is the power of God.
What is the purpose of power? Power is something notional and relative. Since
there is only one God, to whom he displays his power? If power is different from
him, where from the power came? What is the purpose of all this display of
power etc?

God is absolute. I as a limited being, think I am different from him and I must
know him and transact with him. Both knowing and transacting are impossible
given the limitations of myself. Let me assume for a minute that I am having
power. How do I know I am having power? It is by acting on a thing which I
consider to be different from me. The power is manifested only when acted on an
object. When there is no object to act, what will be the position of power? It will
remain latent. The latent powers when come out and manifest becomes
cognizable. With my limited intelligence, I can see God as object only. I can see
him as a second person only. This is the limitation and this has come because of
I feeling and I think this I belongs to me. So I try to seek God. Activeness
originates in me and not in absolute.

The same Vedanta I am trying to understand better by renaming. I am renaming

maya as waves and power as wave energy. This gives my intelligence a kind of
satisfaction. Nothing new is here other than what has been told in Vedanta.

Is the wave at any given time different from consciousness? Let me set aside the
name, form, properties and uses. Obviously not. Let me ask the same question
with modification. Is consciousness different from waves at any given time? No.
Then where are the names, forms and properties? It also should be in the same
consciousness. When everything is same, why do I see variety in the world? Why
the table I see looks to be different from me? It appears so because I am not
aware of the truth, this particular truth that everything is Narayana.

The entire system of philosophy seems to have only one objective. There can be
only one God. There is no scope for second. The one who is there even before
any knowledge came, any consciousness arose, any sense of being arose, before
any limitations like space or time or shapes arose, he is the God. So Narayana
seems to be above Sathyam Jnanam Anantham. It is from him consciousness,
beingness or limitations arose. From human perspective, beingness seems
important. From the stand of absolute, does he require this sense of being?

Now, this Universe should have come from him. I could not have created it. When
everything came from God, why so much of diversity? This has to be resolved.
This can be resolved only by questioning each and every diverse object. Now, by
trying to understand what these are, slowly it sets in mind that these are due to
Gunas. Though traditionally called as three, the third can be explained as the
composite of the two namely rhythmic waves and random waves.
Though it appears as two, the inter convertibility of both cannot be denied.
Rhythmic wave exhibiting randomness or random waves exhibiting rhythm, both
are seen to be true. It effectively modifies into only one called wave. There are
waves. The I, intelligence, memory, mind, prana, senses, organs, objects of
perception, gross universe and gross body all are waves.

Even though they appear to be waves, they also are the same consciousness
appearing as waves is the claim in Vedanta.

On the model of Spirit Spiritual energy Mental energy Physical energy 17 th

dec 2016

All in this universe can be classified within this frame work.

The spirit along with associated spiritual energy is common to all. This provides
the existence, capability to project as object and capability to attract to
everything in this universe.

The mental energy for Gods is Satvic. This has its own mind which controls the
inanimate objects and at the same time controls the other mental energy
associated with individuals. In short, all physical and mental energies are
subordinate to it which gives the name, form and specific properties. This is
Maya or avidya. Mind thinking that it is superior without realizing the spirit or
spiritual energy is avidya.