The

Real
Story
Behind
These
Band Have you ever heard a bands name and thought, Wow, thats such a
cool name, band. Howd you come up with it? You have? Well, I dont
know what thats like at all. Thats because I know the story behind

Names the name of every band that has ever existed and will ever exist. Bee
tee dubs, keep an eye out for a group of musicians called Existential-
ly Irrelevant, The Band, The Food, The Movie, The Foodie, McScrooge,
Pirates Booty, Djibouti, Booty, Beyonces Other Sister. Not saying
they may be the biggest thing to happen to music since cavemen real-
shamim hossain ized rhythmic drumming makes enjoyable sounds but.ya get the pic-
ture. So because I am all-knowing in this, Im going to share some of my
favorite origin stories.
Cream
Three potato/man hybrids from rural Idaho liter-
ally plucked from the ground.

(So think cream of the crop, you know? Connect the

dots, Im not here to do all of the work)
 98 degrees

Flame sprites who descended from the sun to infil-

trate the late 90s/early 00s boy band scene. Next.
Genesis

3-4 corporeal extensions (depending on

frontman) of the eternal being known as
Peter Gabriel. They have existed for all of
eternity and give credence to the theory
that heavenly hymns are most likely mediocre
prog-rock.
notorious
b.i.g
Overweight drug dealer from
Brooklyn.
Katy perry
Actually Joe Perry from Aero-
smith in drag. Look closely.
You can see it in the eyes.
Godspeed! you black emperor
Peter Gabriel decides to drop the facade of the other three members
and just makes post-rock.
Modest Actually created by Walt Disney
(the actual man [also
immortal] not the company) as
mouse his response to what he calls
the immaturity of rock n
roll.
 Blue yster Cult

All band members coming out of an investment

firm based out of Newfoundland, where they
found bankruptcy bidding on the stocks of
oyster companies.
smashing pumpkins

Billy Corgan and farmers who thought that

the three potatoes who turned into Cream
would also spill into their pumpkin crop, so
they started murdering their own pumpkins.
Billy Corgan named the band ironically.
 cheap trick

David Copperfield, David

Blaine, and Penn And Teller
make a band. They fool mil-
lions.