General Essay Writing Tips

Despite the fact that, as Shakespeare said, "The pen is mightier than the sword," the
pen itself is not enough to make an effective writer. In fact, though we may all like to
think of ourselves as the next Shakespeare, inspiration alone is not the key to effective
essay writing. You see, the conventions of English essays are more formulaic than you
might think and, in many ways, it can be as simple as counting to five.

The Five Paragraph Essay

Though more advanced academic papers are a category all their own, the basic high
school or college essay has the following standardized, five paragraph structure:

Paragraph 1: Introduction
Paragraph 2: Body 1
Paragraph 3: Body 2
Paragraph 4: Body 3
Paragraph 5: Conclusion

Though it may seem formulaic and, well, it is - the idea behind this structure is to
make it easier for the reader to navigate the ideas put forth in an essay. You see, if your
essay has the same structure as every other one, any reader should be able to quickly
and easily find the information most relevant to them.

The Introduction
 Want to see sample essays?
Check out our Sample Essay section where you can see scholarship essays,
admissions essays, and more!

The principle purpose of the introduction is to present your position (this is also known
as the "thesis" or "argument") on the issue at hand but effective introductory paragraphs
are so much more than that. Before you even get to this thesis statement, for example,
the essay should begin with a "hook" that grabs the readers attention and makes them
want to read on. Examples of effective hooks include relevant quotations ("no man is an
island") or surprising statistics ("three out of four doctors report that").

Only then, with the readers attention "hooked," should you move on to the thesis. The
thesis should be a clear, one-sentence explanation of your position that leaves no doubt
in the readers mind about which side you are on from the beginning of your essay.

Following the thesis, you should provide a mini-outline which previews the examples
you will use to support your thesis in the rest of the essay. Not only does this tell the
reader what to expect in the paragraphs to come but it also gives them a clearer
understanding of what the essay is about.

Finally, designing the last sentence in this way has the added benefit of seamlessly
moving the reader to the first paragraph of the body of the paper. In this way we can see
that the basic introduction does not need to be much more than three or four sentences
in length. If yours is much longer you might want to consider editing it down a bit!

Here, by way of example, is an introductory paragraph to an essay in response to the

following question:

"Do we learn more from finding out that we have made mistakes or from our successful
actions?"

"No man is an island" and, as such, he is constantly shaped and influenced by his
experiences. People learn by doing and, accordingly, learn considerably more from
their mistakes than their success. For proof of this, consider examples from both
science and everyday experience.

DO - Pay Attention to Your Introductory Paragraph

Because this is the first paragraph of your essay it is your opportunity to give the reader
the best first impression possible. The introductory paragraph not only gives the reader
an idea of what you will talk about but also shows them how you will talk about it. Put a
disproportionate amount of effort into this more than the 20% a simple calculation
would suggest and you will be rewarded accordingly.

DO NOT - Use Passive Voice or I/My

Active voice, wherein the subjects direct actions rather than let the actions "happen to"
them "he scored a 97%" instead of "he was given a 97%" is a much more powerful
and attention-grabbing way to write. At the same time, unless it is a personal narrative,
avoid personal pronouns like I, My, or Me. Try instead to be more general and you will
have your reader hooked.

The Body Paragraphs

The middle paragraphs of the essay are collectively known as the body paragraphs and,
as alluded to above, the main purpose of a body paragraph is to spell out in detail the
examples that support your thesis.

For the first body paragraph you should use your strongest argument or most significant
example unless some other more obvious beginning point (as in the case of
chronological explanations) is required. The first sentence of this paragraph should be
the topic sentence of the paragraph that directly relates to the examples listed in the
mini-outline of introductory paragraph.

A one sentence body paragraph that simply cites the example of "George Washington"
or "LeBron James" is not enough, however. No, following this an effective essay will
follow up on this topic sentence by explaining to the reader, in detail, who or what an
example is and, more importantly, why that example is relevant.

Even the most famous examples need context. For example, George Washingtons life
was extremely complex by using him as an example, do you intend to refer to his
honesty, bravery, or maybe even his wooden teeth? The reader needs to know this and
it is your job as the writer to paint the appropriate picture for them. To do this, it is a
good idea to provide the reader with five or six relevant facts about the life (in general)
or event (in particular) you believe most clearly illustrates your point.

Having done that, you then need to explain exactly why this example proves your
thesis. The importance of this step cannot be understated (although it clearly can be
underlined); this is, after all, the whole reason you are providing the example in the first
place. Seal the deal by directly stating why this example is relevant.
Here is an example of a body paragraph to continue the essay begun above:

Take, by way of example, Thomas Edison. The famed American inventor rose to
prominence in the late 19th century because of his successes, yes, but even he felt that
these successes were the result of his many failures. He did not succeed in his work on
one of his most famous inventions, the lightbulb, on his first try nor even on his hundred
and first try. In fact, it took him more than 1,000 attempts to make the first incandescent
bulb but, along the way, he learned quite a deal. As he himself said, "I did not fail a
thousand times but instead succeeded in finding a thousand ways it would not work."
Thus Edison demonstrated both in thought and action how instructive mistakes can be.

DO: Tie Things Together

The first sentence the topic sentence - of your body paragraphs needs to have a lot
individual pieces to be truly effective. Not only should it open with a transition that
signals the change from one idea to the next but also it should (ideally) also have a
common thread which ties all of the body paragraphs together. For example, if you used
"first" in the first body paragraph then you should used "secondly" in the second or "on
the one hand" and "on the other hand" accordingly.

DO NOT: Be Too General

Examples should be relevant to the thesis and so should the explanatory details you
provide for them. It can be hard to summarize the full richness of a given example in just
a few lines so make them count. If you are trying to explain why George Washington is
a great example of a strong leader, for instance, his childhood adventure with the cherry
tree (though interesting in another essay) should probably be skipped over.

A Word on Transitions

You may have noticed that, though the above paragraph aligns pretty closely with the
provided outline, there is one large exception: the first few words. These words are
example of a transitional phrase others include "furthermore," "moreover," but also "by
contrast" and "on the other hand" and are the hallmark of good writing.

Transitional phrases are useful for showing the reader where one section ends and
another begins. It may be helpful to see them as the written equivalent of the kinds of
spoken cues used in formal speeches that signal the end of one set of ideas and the
beginning of another. In essence, they lead the reader from one section of the
paragraph of another.

To further illustrate this, consider the second body paragraph of our example essay:
In a similar way, we are all like Edison in our own way. Whenever we learn a new skill -
be it riding a bike, driving a car, or cooking a cake - we learn from our mistakes. Few, if
any, are ready to go from training wheels to a marathon in a single day but these early
experiences (these so-called mistakes) can help us improve our performance over time.
You cannot make a cake without breaking a few eggs and, likewise, we learn by doing
and doing inevitably means making mistakes.

Hopefully this example not only provides another example of an effective body
paragraph but also illustrates how transitional phrases can be used to distinguish
between them.

The Conclusion

Although the conclusion paragraph comes at the end of your essay it should not be
seen as an afterthought. As the final paragraph is represents your last chance to make
your case and, as such, should follow an extremely rigid format.

One way to think of the conclusion is, paradoxically, as a second introduction because it
does in fact contain many of the same features. While it does not need to be too long
four well-crafted sentence should be enough it can make or break and essay.

Effective conclusions open with a concluding transition ("in conclusion," "in the end,"
etc.) and an allusion to the "hook" used in the introductory paragraph. After that you
should immediately provide a restatement of your thesis statement.

This should be the fourth or fifth time you have repeated your thesis so while you should
use a variety of word choice in the body paragraphs it is a acceptable idea to use some
(but not all) of the original language you used in the introduction. This echoing effect not
only reinforces your argument but also ties it nicely to the second key element of the
conclusion: a brief (two or three words is enough) review of the three main points from
the body of the paper.

Having done all of that, the final element and final sentence in your essay should be
a "global statement" or "call to action" that gives the reader signals that the discussion
has come to an end.

In the end, then, one thing is clear: mistakes do far more to help us learn and improve
than successes. As examples from both science and everyday experience can attest, if
we treat each mistake not as a misstep but as a learning experience the possibilities for
self-improvement are limitless.
DO: Be Powerful

The conclusion paragraph can be a difficult paragraph to write effectively but, as it is

your last chance to convince or otherwise impress the reader, it is worth investing some
time in. Take this opportunity to restate your thesis with confidence; if you present your
argument as "obvious" then the reader might just do the same.

DO NOT: Copy the First Paragraph

Although you can reuse the same key words in the conclusion as you did in the
introduction, try not to copy whole phrases word for word. Instead, try to use this last
paragraph to really show your skills as a writer by being as artful in your rephrasing as
possible.

Taken together, then, the overall structure of a five paragraph essay

should look something like this:

Introduction Paragraph

An attention-grabbing "hook"

A thesis statement

A preview of the three subtopics you will discuss in the body paragraphs.

First Body Paragraph

Topic sentence which states the first subtopic and opens with a transition

Supporting details or examples

An explanation of how this example proves your thesis

Second Body Paragraph

Topic sentence which states the second subtopic and opens with a transition

Supporting details or examples

An explanation of how this example proves your thesis

Third Body Paragraph

Topic sentence which states the third subtopic and opens with a transition

Supporting details or examples

An explanation of how this example proves your thesis

Concluding Paragraph

Concluding Transition, Reverse "hook," and restatement of thesis.

Rephrasing main topic and subtopics.

Global statement or call to action.

More tips to make your essay shine

Planning Pays

Although it may seem like a waste of time especially during exams where time is tight
it is almost always better to brainstorm a bit before beginning your essay. This should
enable you to find the best supporting ideas rather than simply the first ones that
come to mind and position them in your essay accordingly.

Your best supporting idea the one that most strongly makes your case and,
simultaneously, about which you have the most knowledge should go first. Even the
best-written essays can fail because of ineffectively placed arguments.

Aim for Variety

Sentences and vocabulary of varying complexity are one of the hallmarks of effective
writing. When you are writing, try to avoid using the same words and phrases over and
over again. You dont have to be a walking thesaurus but a little variance can make the
same idea sparkle.

If you are asked about "money," you could try "wealth" or "riches." At the same time,
avoid beginning sentences the dull pattern of "subject + verb + direct object." Although
examples of this are harder to give, consider our writing throughout this article as one
big example of sentence structure variety.
Practice! Practice! Practice!

In the end, though, remember that good writing does not happen by accident. Although
we have endeavored to explain everything that goes into effective essay writing in as
clear and concise a way as possible, it is much easier in theory than it is in practice.

As a result, we recommend that you practice writing sample essays on various topics.
Even if they are not masterpieces at first, a bit of regular practice will soon change that
and make you better prepared when it comes to the real thing.

Now that youve learned how to write an effective essay, check out our Sample
Essays so you can see how they are done in practice.

When I look back on my 20s, I see two different versions of myself. The first five years
were dominated by feelings of insecurity and anxiety. I was living a life I did not want,
and I wasn't confident enough to stop it. Then, in the second half of my 20s, I learned to
embrace my purpose and began living the life I wanted -- the life of an entrepreneur.
One thing is clear: The success I've experienced while launching and growing
SkyBell would not have been possible with my old mindset.
Now at age 32, I can clearly see my shift from a negative mindset to a success
mindset was caused by my developing more confidence. When you feel confident, the
whole world seems to belong to you. You suddenly surround yourself with other
successful and confident people, and both opportunities and success come your way
with ease.
Here are 10 ways you can develop the mindset shared by the most confident people.

1. Define your purpose.

It's hard to be confident in what you're doing if you're not sure why you're doing it. What
is your purpose in work and in life? Once you identify your "why," you'll be more
confident because you'll be coming from a place of purpose.

2. Avoid comparing yourself with others.

In almost every case, when you compare yourself with someone else, it takes the form
of negative self-talk about how you're not good enough. Doing this weakens self-
confidence. The only person you need to compare yourself with is the version of
yourself that you want to become. That's it.

3. Focus on solutions.
There will always be challenges. But focusing solely on a problem is a self-defeating
practice. Instead, acknowledge that problems will arise, and when they do, focus on
finding solutions as a strong leader. The more problems you overcome, the more
confidence you'll build and the easier it will be to find solutions.

4. Play to your strengths.

Sometimes we spend more time making up for our perceived weaknesses than we do
honoring our strengths. While I certainly agree with improving weaknesses, you might
find that your confidence will increase when you play up your strengths. For example, if
you're not good at math (like me), don't be a CFO. Stick with your strengths.

5. Fake it till you make it.

If you suffer from imposter syndrome, or the untrue belief that you're not good enough,
just pretend to be confident. Keep embracing the idea that you're already successful.
You might not be convinced at first, but eventually your thoughts will follow your
emotions and you'll become a more confident person.

6. Take action.
Fear can be paralyzing. Ignore the voice in your head telling you that you can't do
something, and take action anyway. The more you let fear hold you back, the stronger
the negative voice will become. It works in the other direction too: The more you take
action, the quieter the negative voice will become.

7. Take pride in your appearance.

When you look good, you'll feel good. When you feel good, you feel confident. Wear the
clothes you want to wear. Invest in how you look and you'll invest in your own success.

8. Focus on the positive.

Negative self-talk and pessimism are a vicious cycle, and a drain on your confidence.
Focus on your positive attributes instead of perceived weaknesses; focus on your
accomplishments rather than on your perceived failures. Keep focused on what is
working instead of what is not working.

9. Be ready.
Success is part preparation and part opportunity. Study, practice, and do what it takes to
prepare yourself for when the right opportunity knocks on your door. If you're prepared,
you are more likely to have the confidence to capitalize on the opportunity.

10. Embrace the power of body language.

Body language speaks much louder than words. When you're feeling down on yourself,
change your posture: Pull your shoulders back, hold your head high, stand with your
feet wide and put your hands in the air like a superhero. Notice how the new stance
quickly changes your mood and boosts your confidence.

Final word.
There is no magic solution that will suddenly make you a more confident person. But
when you focus on making consistent and small steps, you can transform yourself from
a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. Building confidence is like building momentum:
Just keep taking action and you'll feel more and more confident with each positive step.

The late Steve Jobs 2005 commencement address at Stanford University has been
viewed close to 8 million times on YouTube. Eight years after he delivered it, a text
version still flies around the Web. The speech is as powerful for its messagestay
hungry, stay foolishas it is for its structure and delivery. Today I want to tell you three
stories from my life, he said. Thats it. No big deal. Just three stories. And with that,
viewers (and readers) are hooked.

Future public speakers of the world, take note. You dont have to be a Silicon Valley
billionaire to deliver a great speech. The best speeches include a clear, relevant message
and a few great stories to illustrate it.

Forget fancy PowerPoint presentations and loads of data. Instead, keep your speech
simple, with a clear beginning, middle and end. Focus on one theme, and eliminate
everything else. Speeches are an inefficient form of communication, says Nick
Morgan, a Forbes contributor, the president of Public Words, Inc., and author
of Trust Me: Four Steps to Authenticity and Charisma. People dont remember
much of what they hear, so focus and keep it simple.

Use anecdotes. People would find speechwriting much easier if they realized that all
they needed to do was find a key message and three great stories to support it, says
Jane Praeger, a Columbia University professor and the president of the speech
presentation and coaching firm Ovid Inc. Those kinds of speeches are also easier to
deliver because they dont have to be read. If youve lived a story, you can tell it from
memory and with genuine feeling. And stories stick in peoples minds. When you tell
people a story, it arouses their emotions and releases dopamine in their brains, which
makes that content sticky. In other words, if you make people feel what you are talking
about, they wont forget it.

Be relevant to your audience. Ask yourself what problem the audience wants to solve,
and talk about that problem first. Then and only then, talk about your area of expertise
as the solution to that problem, says Morgan. Audiences start off by asking why. Why
am I here? Why should I care? If you answer those questions early, then theyll ask how.
Your job is to answer the why question first and then address the how.

In Pictures: 10 Tips For Giving A Great Speech

Ditch the thank yous, and jump right in. People often make the mistake of starting
speeches by thanking the introducer or expressing their happiness at being there.
Instead, jump right in with a framing story that suggests what the topic is without
giving it all away, a statistic, a question or some kind of interaction with the audience,
says Morgan. If you know what your speech is aboutand it should be about one thing
you should have an easy time deciding on an opening. Get right into the story and let the
audience know what your talk will be about.

Use body language that makes you appear comfortable. If you show signs of
nervousness, like crossing your arms, or clutching your hands in front of your stomach,
your audience will sense your trepidation and be less open to your message. You have
to pretend that youre having a good time and are open to that audience so that they can
have a good time and be open back to you, says Morgan. Successful public speaking is
all about passion and emotion. If youre excited, then your audience will be, too.

Stand up straight. Whether you walk across the stage or stand behind a lectern, try to
maintain good posture. Imagine that your head is being held up by a string, says
Praeger.

Articulate your words, regardless of your natural speaking style. Authenticity is key,
Praeger says. You cant be someone youre not. On the other hand, you can be your best
self. Softness doesnt detract from a speech if youre committed to what youre saying.
Passion, commitment and conviction are critical for delivery, and you can do that
whether youre soft-spoken or not. Any number of delivery styles will work.
Practice your speech beforehand. You would do better practicing in the shower and
running the speech in your head rather than practicing in front of a mirror, which is
distracting, Praeger says. You do have to practice out loud, hopefully with a small
audience. Practice replacing deadening filler words like um, so and like with
silence.

Work the room. Try to speak to audience members before your speech, so that you can
focus on few friendly faces, particularly if you get nervous. If youre making eye contact
with a friendly person in quadrant one, everyone to their left will think that youre
talking to them, says Praeger. Then do the same thing in quadrant two. You want to
see your talk as a series of conversations with different people throughout the room.

Most important, try to enjoy the experience. The real zen secret is to love what youre
doing in that moment, says Morgan. If you can relax and be happy about being there,
the audience will feel that way, too.

This piece was originally published by Inc..

A Stanford Business School professor offers a treasure trove of tips on how to be a

better public speaker.

If youre a shaky public speaker, your next big presentation offers so many things to be
worried about. Theres conceiving of and planning your speech, practicing it, keeping
your nerves in check, actually presenting it, and dealing with audience questions, as
well as any memory lapses that might trip you up.

With this minefield, no wonder your nerves are on edge. Thankfully, theres plenty of
advice out there on each of these aspects of giving a truly compelling presentation. And
while theyre usually spread across the internet, Insights by Stanford Business recently
did less-than-supremely-confident speakers a favor, gathering up a mountain of
presenting wisdom on public speaking from professor Matt Abrahams.

Abrahams comprehensive article covers everything from how to structure your speech
to what to eat the night before, from how to deal with hostile audience questions to
identifying and correcting your annoying verbal tics. Heres a sample of the wisdom on
offer.
1. How can I be of service?
Most of us focus on ourselves and our performance before giving a big speech or
presentation. But thats the wrong location for your attention, according to Abrahams. To
calm your nerves and boost the usefulness of your presentation, instead think of
yourself as serving the audience and focus on their needs.

The most useful way I know to focus on your audience is to start by asking yourself the
simple question: What does my audience need to hear from me? This not only helps
you tailor your message to your audience, but it also reminds you that they are the ones
in the spotlight. Make this question your mantra as you prepare and practice your
presentations, he advises.

2. Hook them with emotion

No matter how data-driven or arcane your subject, you still need to try to inject a little
emotion into your speaking. Why? Emotion sticks, writes Abrahams. People
remember emotionally charged messages much more readily than fact-based ones. In
fact, modern scientists are finding that our emotional responses have a fast track to our
long-term memory. So when possible, try to bring some emotion into your presentation,
whether in the form of your delivery or the content itself.

And no excuses that your speech on algae concentrations in local ponds just cant be
made emotional. If its worth talking about, there has to be a reason why, and that why is
always at least a little emotional. Even the most technical talks can have some
emotional aspect, especially if you focus on the benefits or implications of the science or
technology, says Abrahams. Benefits are inherently emotionalsaving time, saving
money, saving trees, saving livesthese are things people care about.

3. Practice right
Many presenters dont practice properly, according to Abrahams. They simply
mentally rehearse or flip through a slide deck, passive approaches that dont really
simulate the conditions of a presentation. To practice effectively, you also need to stand
and delivereven if you are presenting virtually, you need to physically stand up to
project effectively. Rather than only thinking through a presentation, standing up and
practicing your speech helps you remember it.
Specifically, he recommends breaking down your presentation into bite-size bits and
mastering them one by one. One very useful technique called focused practice involves
taking one aspect of your presentationsay, the introductionand delivering it repeatedly
until you become highly familiar and comfortable with it.

4. Eat right for success

Food might not be the first thing on your mind when youre about to give a big speech,
but according to Abrahams, eating right before a presentation can significantly improve
your performance.

Like a long-distance runner carbo-loading for a marathon, you will find it helpful to eat
certain foodsin this case, to facilitate memory formation and retentionahead of your
presentation, says Abrahams. Complex carbohydrates, nuts, oils, foods rich in omega-
3 fatty acids, and foods that contain flavanols (such as grapes, berries, apples, and
cocoa) are good choices. Avoid simple sugars and sweets because they provide a quick
energy boost that is often followed by sluggishness and mental haziness. And when it
comes to coffee, Abrahams adds, Plan your caffeine consumption wisely: Caffeine
facilitates creativity and productivity, but it also invites jitters, dry mouth, and flighty
memory. It may make some sense to go for the triple mocha latte when youre preparing
a speech, but its not a good idea the day of.

5. Beat up-talking with breathing

Whats up-talking? That annoying habit of raising the pitch of your voice at the end of
your sentences, making everything you say sound like a question. Nothing can be more
confusing (and annoying) to an audience as when a speaker makes an important point
like our profits are expanding, yet it sounds like our profits are expanding?' insists
Abrahams.

To beat up-talking, Abrahams suggests you focus on your breathing. If you are an up-
talker, then you likely take a quick inhalation prior to the end of your sentences because
you feel you are running out of air to support the remainder of your spoken thought. This
inhalation is often followed by a rise in pitch. To address this, you need to practice what I
term landing your sentences and phrases. Rather than inhale close to the end of your
sentences, focus on exhaling completely as you finish your thought.
Sample Scholarship Essays

If youre applying for a scholarship, chances are you are going to need to write an
essay. Very few scholarship programs are based solely on an application form or
transcript. The essay is often the most important part of your application; it gives the
scholarship committee a sense of who you are and your dedication to your goals. Youll
want to make sure that your scholarship essay is the best it can possibly be.

See the sample essays:

1. The Book that Made Me a Journalist

2. Planners and Searchers

3. Saving the Manatees

Unless specified otherwise, scholarship essays should always use the following
formatting:

Double spaced

Times New Roman font

12 point font

One-inch top, bottom, and side margins

Other useful tips to keep in mind include:

1. Read the instructions thoroughly and make sure you completely understand them
before you start writing.

2. Think about what you are going to write and organize your thoughts into an
outline.

3. Write your essay by elaborating on each point you included in your outline.

4. Use clear, concise, and simple language throughout your essay.

 5. When you are finished, read the question again and then read your essay to
make sure that the essay addresses every point.

For more tips on writing a scholarship essay, check out our Eight Steps Towards a
Better Scholarship Essay .

The Book that Made Me a Journalist

Prompt: Describe a book that made a lasting impression on you and your life and why.

It is 6 am on a hot day in July and Ive already showered and eaten

breakfast. I know that my classmates are all sleeping in and enjoying their summer
break, but I dont envy them; Im excited to start my day interning with a local
newspaper doing investigative journalism. I work a typical 8-5 day during my
summer vacation and despite the early mornings, nothing has made me
happier. Although it wasn't clear to me then, looking back on my high school
experiences and everything that led to me to this internship, I believe this path
began with a particularly savvy teacher and a little book she gave me to read
outside of class.

I was taking a composition class, and we were learning how to write persuasive essays.
Up until that point, I had had average grades, but I was always a good writer and my
teacher immediately recognized this. The first paper I wrote for the class was about my
experience going to an Indian reservation located near my uncle's ranch in southwest
Colorado. I wrote of the severe poverty experienced by the people on the reservation,
and the lack of access to voting booths during the most recent election. After reading
this short story, my teacher approached me and asked about my future plans. No one
had ever asked me this, and I wasn't sure how to answer. I said I liked writing and I liked
thinking about people who are different from myself. She gave me a book and told me
that if I had time to read it, she thought it would be something I would enjoy. I was
actually quite surprised that a high school teacher was giving me a book titled Lies My
Teacher Told Me. It had never occurred to me that teachers would lie to students. The
title intrigued me so much that on Friday night I found myself staying up almost all night
reading, instead of going out with friends.

In short, the book discusses several instances in which typical American history classes
do not tell the whole story. For example, the author addresses the way that American
history classes do not usually address about the Vietnam War, even though it happened
only a short time ago. This made me realize that we hadn't discussed the Vietnam War
in my own history class! The book taught me that, like my story of the Indian
reservation, there are always more stories beyond what we see on the surface and what
were taught in school. I was inspired to continue to tell these stories and to make that
my career.

For my next article for the class, I wrote about the practice of my own high school
suspending students, sometimes indefinitely, for seemingly minor offenses such as
tardiness and smoking. I found that the number of suspensions had increased by 200%
at my school in just three years, and also discovered that students who are suspended
after only one offense often drop out and some later end up in prison. The article
caused quite a stir. The administration of my school dismissed it, but it caught the
attention of my local newspaper. A local journalist worked with me to publish an updated
and more thoroughly researched version of my article in the local newspaper. The
article forced the school board to revisit their zero tolerance policy as well as reinstate
some indefinitely suspended students. I won no favors with the administration and it
was a difficult time for me, but it was also thrilling to see how one article can have such
a direct effect on peoples lives. It reaffirmed my commitment to a career in journalism.

This is why Im applying for this scholarship. Your organization has been providing
young aspiring journalists with funds to further their skills and work to uncover the untold
stories in our communities that need to be reported. I share your organizations vision of
working towards a more just and equitable world by uncovering stories of abuse of
power. I have already demonstrated this commitment through my writing in high school
and I look forward to pursuing a BA in this field at the University of Michigan Ann Arbor.
With your help, I will hone my natural instincts and inherent writing skills. I will become a
better and more persuasive writer and I will learn the ethics of professional journalism.

I sincerely appreciate the committees time in evaluating my application and giving me

the opportunity to tell my story. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Scholarship Essay Do's and Don'ts

Follow the prompt and other instructions exactly. You might write a great essay
Do: but it may get your application rejected if you dont follow the word count
guidelines or other formatting requirements.

Open your essay with a quote. This is a well-worn strategy that is mostly used
DON'T:
ineffectively. Instead of using someone elses words, use your own.

DON'T: Use perfunctory sentences such as, In this essay, I will

Be clear and concise. Make sure each paragraph discusses only one central
DO:
thought or argument.

DON'T: Use words from a thesaurus that are new to you. You may end up using the
 word incorrectly and that will make your writing awkward. Keep it simple and
straightforward. The point of the essay is to tell your story, not to demonstrate
how many words you know.

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Planners and Searchers

Prompt: In 600 words or less, please tell us about yourself and why you are applying
for this scholarship. Please be clear about how this scholarship will help you achieve
your personal and professional goals.

Being African, I recognize Africas need for home- grown talent in the form of planners
(assistants with possible solutions) and searchers (those with desperate need)
working towards international development. I represent both. Coming from Zimbabwe
my greatest challenge is in helping to improve the livelihoods of developing nations
through sustainable development and good governance principles. The need for policy-
makers capable of employing cross-jurisdictional, and cross- disciplinary strategies to
solve complex challenges cannot be under-emphasized; hence my application to this
scholarship program.

After graduating from Africa University with an Honors degree in Sociology and
Psychology, I am now seeking scholarship support to study in the United States at the
Masters level. My interest in democracy, elections, constitutionalism and development
stems from my lasting interest in public policy issues. Accordingly, my current research
interests in democracy and ethnic diversity require a deeper understanding of legal
processes of constitutionalism and governance. As a Masters student in the US, I
intend to write articles on these subjects from the perspective of someone born, raised,
and educated in Africa. I will bring a unique and much-needed perspective to my
graduate program in the United States, and I will take the technical and theoretical
knowledge from my graduate program back with me to Africa to further my career goals
as a practitioner of good governance and community development.

To augment my theoretical understanding of governance and democratic practices, I

worked with the Zimbabwe Election Support Network (ZESN) as a Programs Assistant
in the Monitoring and Observation department. This not only enhanced my project
management skills, but also developed my skills in research and producing
communication materials. ZESN is Zimbabwes biggest election observation
organization, and I had the responsibility of monitoring the political environment and
producing monthly publications on human rights issues and electoral processes. These
publications were disseminated to various civil society organizations, donors and other
stakeholders. Now I intend to develop my career in order to enhance Africas capacity to
advocate, write and vote for representative constitutions.

I also participated in a fellowship program at Africa University, where I gained greater

insight into social development by teaching courses on entrepreneurship, free market
economics, and development in needy communities. I worked with women in rural areas
of Zimbabwe to setup income-generating projects such as the jatropha soap-making
project. Managing such a project gave me great insight into how many simple initiatives
can transform lives.

Your organization has a history of awarding scholarships to promising young students

from the developing world in order to bring knowledge, skills and leadership abilities to
their home communities. I have already done some of this work but I want to continue,
and with your assistance, I can. The multidisciplinary focus of the development
programs I am applying to in the US will provide me with the necessary skills to
creatively address the economic and social development challenges and develop sound
public policies for Third World countries. I thank you for your time and consideration for
this prestigious award.

Scholarship Essay Do's and Don'ts

Research the organization and make sure you understand their mission and
DO:
values and incorporate them into your essay.

Focus on your strengths and turn in any problems or weaknesses into a

DO:
success story.

Use actual, detailed examples from your own life to backup your claims and
DO:
arguments as to why you should receive the scholarship.

DO: Proofread several times before finally submitting your essay.

Rehash what is already stated on your resume. Choose additional, unique

DON'T:
stories to tell sell yourself to the scholarship committee.
 Simply state that you need the money. Even if you have severe financial need,
DON'T:
it wont help to simply ask for the money and it may come off as tacky.

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Saving the Manatees

Prompt: Please give the committee an idea of who you are and why you are the perfect
candidate for the scholarship.

It is a clich to say that Ive always known what I want to do with my life, but in my case
it happens to be true. When I first visited Sea World as a young child, I fell in love with
marine animals in general. Specifically, I felt drawn to manatees. I was compelled by
their placid and friendly nature. I knew then and there that I wanted to dedicate my life
to protecting these beautiful creatures.

Since that day in Orlando, I have spent much of my spare time learning everything there
is to know about manatees. As a junior high and high school student, I attempted to
read scholarly articles on manatees from scientific journals. I annoyed my friends and
family with scientific facts about manatees-- such as that they are close relatives of
elephants--at the dinner table. I watched documentaries, and even mapped their
migration pattern on a wall map my sister gave me for my birthday.

When I was chosen from hundreds of applicants to take part in a summer internship
with Sea World, I fell even more in love with these gentle giants. I also learned a very
important and valuable lesson: prior to this internship, I had imagined becoming a
marine biologist, working directly with the animals in their care both in captivity and in
the wild. However, during the internship, I discovered that this is not where my strengths
lie. Unfortunately, I am not a strong student in science or math, which are required skills
to become a marine biologist. Although this was a disheartening realization, I found that
I possess other strengths can still be of great value to manatees and other endangered
marine mammals: my skills as a public relations manager and communicator. During the
internship, I helped write new lessons and presentations for elementary school groups
visiting the park and developed a series of fun activities for children to help them learn
more about manatees as well as conservation of endangered species in general. I also
worked directly with the parks conservation and communication director, and helped
develop a new local outreach program designed to educate Floridians on how to avoid
hitting a manatee when boating. My supervisor recommended me to the Save the
Manatee Foundation so in addition to my full-time internship at Sea World, I interned
with the Save the Manatee Foundation part-time. It was there that I witnessed the
manatee rescue and conservation effort first hand, and worked directly with the marine
biologists in developing fund-raising and awareness-raising campaigns. I found that the
foundations social media presence was lacking, and, using skills I learned from Sea
World, I helped them raise over $5,000 through a Twitter challenge, which we linked to
the various social media outlets of the World Wildlife Federation.

While I know that your organization typically awards scholarships to students planning
to major in disciplines directly related to conservation such as environmental studies or
zoology, I feel that the public relations side of conservation is just as important as the
actual work done on the ground. Whether it is reducing ones carbon footprint, or saving
the manatees, these are efforts that, in order to be successful, must involve the larger
public. In fact, the relative success of the environmental movement today is largely due
to a massive global public relations campaign that turned environmentalism from
something scientific and obscure into something that is both fashionable and accessible
to just about anyone. However, that success is being challenged more than ever
before--especially here in the US, where an equally strong anti-environmental public
relations campaign has taken hold. Therefore, conservationists need to start getting
more creative.

I want to be a part of this renewed effort and use my natural abilities as a communicator
to push back against the rather formidable forces behind the anti-environmentalist
movement. I sincerely hope you will consider supporting this non-traditional avenue
towards global sustainability and conservation. I have already been accepted to one of
the most prestigious communications undergraduate programs in the country and I plan
to minor in environmental studies. In addition, I maintain a relationship with my former
supervisors at Save the Manatee and Sea World, who will be invaluable resources for
finding employment upon graduation. I thank the committee for thinking outside the box
in considering my application.

Scholarship Essay Do's and Don'ts

Tell a story. Discuss your personal history and why those experiences have led
DO:
you to apply for these scholarships.

Write an outline. If youve already started writing or have a first draft, make an
DO: outline based on what youve written so far. This will help you see whether your
paragraphs flow and connect with one another.

Write a generic essay for every application. Adapt your personal statement for
DON'T:
each individual scholarship application.

Run spellcheck and grammar check on your computer but also do your own
DO: personal check. Spellcheck isnt perfect and you shouldn't rely on technology to
make your essay perfect
Sample Business School Essays

Since many business school admissions officers encourage applicants to write less,
say more, it is important to communicate your background and career ambitions in a
concise and clear way. The essay gives admissions officers an opportunity to learn who
you are, where you're going, what you have done and why their school is right for you.
Use this small space to give the admissions officers a deeper sense of who you are by
answering the prompt with brevity.

Here are our top five tips for writing a business school admissions essay:

1. State specific reasons as to why you are a good fit for the school, rather than
simply stating I am the ideal candidate for your program. Why are you the ideal
candidate?

2. Use real life examples in your essay. This will help to bring your essay to life.

3. If youve taken an unorthodox path to business school, dont be afraid to play that
up. Business schools appreciate those who are unafraid to take risks.

4. Thoroughly research your target schools in order to have a clear idea of how to
appeal to each of them. Every school is looking for something different in their
students.

5. Avoid flattery. A good school knows that its good, and telling them so just
wastes valuable space in your essay. Use that space to talk yourself up, instead.

This section contains three sample business school essays:

1. Business School Essay One - The Business of Recovery

2. Business School Essay Two - Leadership in Action

3. Business School Essay Three - Repair and Restore

The Business of Recovery Sample Essay One

Prompt: What are your career goals? What skills do you expect to gain from studying at
ABC Business School and how will they contribute to your professional career? (500
words).

Watching my brother transform from a man who had lost his ability to walk to a man who
can play basketball with my father kindled my fascination of the physical therapy world.
The Bureau of Labor Statistics anticipates the field of physical therapy to grow faster
than average in the upcoming years. I hope to join this field during an exciting time of
growth, furthering the rehabilitation of those who have been injured.
Following graduation from ABC Business School, I intend to serve a marketing team in
a local physical therapy company, such as Ridgeview Physical Therapy. My short-term
goal is to lead a team, furthering success in the Ridgeview area. Due to the popular
physical therapy company thirty miles from Ridgeview, much of the local population is
unaware of the quality services Ridgeview Physical Therapy has to offer. I hope to
increase visits by 40 percent in the first 5 years of my employment. My long-term goal
includes extending the companys reach into surrounding cities, and eventually beyond
national barriers, becoming a global marketing manager.

I expect to gain skills and experiences from ABC Business School that will propel my
short and long-term goals. I hope to develop an experiential and diverse learning
experience and have the opportunity to interact with different groups of people to learn
from their business insights and endeavours. From ABC Business School, I seek the
tools and resources needed to further engage in my marketing knowledge, perform
professional strategic analyses, and re-evaluate my past work experiences. I look
forward to taking courses from Professor Jim. W. Reid, who has published the research
of the success of Matthews and Marketing in his book, Matthews Commerce, which
has helped me continue my career this far. I also look forward to taking the unique
classes taught by Professor Rachel E. Davis, introducing me to the physical therapy
world and enriching my business skills in that area.

When my brothers car accident in 2011 caused immobility in his left leg, he never
thought he would be able to play his favorite sport again. David Andrews, a 1994
graduate from ABC Business School, ensured that that would not come to pass. I spoke
with Andrews about his journey, and he told me that it was through the opportunities and
education he received from the professors and students at ABC Business School that
helped him open his own practice. I hope to follow in Andrewss footsteps. With the
passion I have for the success of Ridgeview Physical Therapy, and the determination I
learned from watching my brother, all I need to complete my goals is the knowledge
available to me through an MBA at ABC Business School. I look forward to completing
my career aspirations using the tools received from ABC Business School to contribute
to my professional career.
The world of physical therapy is growing, and with my skills in marketing, I hope to grow
the local Ridgeview services across the globe.

In this essay, the applicant is assigned to answer the prompt in approximately 500
words. The admissions officer expects a clear and concise essay that does not veer off
the question and exemplifies quality writing, grammar, and punctuation. In questions
similar to these, the admissions officers are looking for:

Students understanding and knowledge in answering questions: The writer

explains his short and long-term career goals, referencing the future of the career
(Bureau of Labor Statistics) and quantifying his goals (Increase by 40 percent
within the first 5 years).

A deeper look into who the applicant is: Writer shares personal information that
also relates to answering the question (brother in physical therapy). Make sure
that any personal information you share does not veer off of the question that
needs to be answered.

Proper research on the school to adequately answer the second

question: Student mentions names of professors who have demonstrated help in
the past (professors business research book) giving credibility to the student that
he believes they will be able to help him in the future. Avoid flattery and only
speak of the school in a way that shows proper research and answers the
question presented.

Leadership in Action Sample Essay Two

Prompt: Present evidence of your leadership capacity and/or potential. (Approx. 550
words)

Nancy, the CEO of Jasmine Publishing House, bought me a coffee and told me I should
invest in warm gloves as we sat down at a corner diner for what would be a game-
changing business meeting. As the leading publishing house in Europe, Nancy informed
me that JPH was interested in closing a multi-million dollar deal with our fashion
magazine, Zoelle, provided we changed the magazine's appearance to attract a broader
European audience.

As production manager, my job was to lead and supervise a staff of 30 to match

Nancy's vision, working closely with the design team, photographers, production staff
and marketing team. After three weeks of heavy brainstorming, we developed a fresh
appearance for the magazine.
I invited Nancy to a meeting with me and three of our executive producers. I shared with
her the strategy we had created in order to solve our appearance problem, as well as
estimated costs and complications. Nancy agreed that the direction our magazine was
going fit well with her vision and audience, and that JPH would be happy to work with us
within the next week.

Although the team was excited to accept the offer, I was concerned that we were not
prepared to complete the project so quickly. Though the executive producers did not
understand, as our production team was to begin work on the next issue the following
day, I explained that there may include deep financial consequences if we rush into the
process. I wanted to ensure that JPH received a consistent layout from Zoelle
magazine. Nancy agreed to wait until the upcoming issue was complete before
beginning work on the new look.

We began work the following Tuesday, after the latest issue was produced. I
collaborated with an eight member marketing team to develop new branding for our
magazine and mediated this branding with the design team, ensuring that it was able to
blend well with their ideas and insights based on the first meeting with Nancy. I led the
operation of the first issue to be published via JPH, supervising 30 employees.

After the issue was published, our sales increased by 42 percent in the first week. After
leading the Zoelle team to a business deal close and a fresh start, I learned that with the
proper leadership, a staff of varied talents, insights and opinions can work closely
together to produce a magazine that continues to increase its sells each issue. My
initiative helped provide Zoelle with its largest new contract that year, a $2 million deal.
Customers from Europe and the United States commented with positive remarks on the
new look, showing interest in the replacement of the former look, which had been being
published for seven years.

After this leadership experience, I was able to see my potential as a leader. I can
communicate effectively with all members of a group and help connect them with one
another to make a larger picture. I protect my business discernment even against an
upset crowd, and am able to properly persuade others to understand other
perspectives. Through learning more about leadership every day with my work in Zoelle,
I hope to continue to strengthen these abilities and witness the success they can bring
to media production.

In this essay, the applicant was asked to detail her leadership abilities through the
application of a relevant example. She was asked to do this in approximately 550
words, using concise language and proper grammar and punctuation. In questions
similar to these, the admissions officers are looking for:
 Applicant's ability to share leadership qualities with a relevant example: This
writer shared leadership qualities of communication (brainstorming with different
staffs and helping them connect their ideas together), listening (brainstorming
and understanding staff concerns), delegating (ensuring each team did what was
supposed to be done), and managing (managed and supervised a staff of 30)
through the use of an example from her work with Zoelle Magazine.

Proof of a potential growth in these leadership skills: The writer hopes to

continue to strengthen her leadership skills. She provides examples of how she
learned from previous leadership roles.

How these skills will help further your career: The writer used an example from
her current career and concluded her essay with a look into the potential of
leadership in her field.

Repair and Restore Sample Essay Three

Prompt: Describe a challenging situation you have faced in the past. How did you
overcome the challenge? (450 Words)

I looked across my celebratory cheesecake and beamed up at my new coworkers. I

couldn't believe I had finally landed my dream job. All of the senior editors were having
lunch in the cafe across the street from the bakery where the finance team and
marketing team shared dessert. I had been hired as a budget analyst at my favorite
magazine. My job was to work alongside the business manager to help create a more
healthy marriage between the finance and marketing departments, thus improving our
sales and workplace environment. On my way home, I reflected on my relief in finally
having an exciting and secure career.

Just three months later, we met at the same bakery where I had celebrated my new job.
Every department from our small, close-knit staff was present. As the publication
manager began to tell us the news, I remember how our faces fell. Our publication
company was going out of business, and every publication was to be shut down. She
explained that they had tried to find another publishing company without success.

Not only did I feel as though I failed the company, I also knew that I, as well as the other
17 employees, was out of a job. We went back to our offices and packed up our things.
Writers and designers were frantically calling around, asking for open positions. An
employee from the finance department began tweaking his resume, and the marketing
department apologized to the publication manager and editor-in-chief, who responded
graciously.
I had to leave my apartment not long after losing my job. I stayed with a friend on the
north side of town as I tried to find a job in a shrinking economic suburb. It took six
months to find a position, and though I had to move and leave behind my dream, I found
a new way to work toward my new dream.

From this experience, I learned the importance of adaptability. Only through my ability to
embrace the change happening around me was I able to find a new job and start a new
life with new visions and goals. Applying for my MBA would have sounded bizarre to the
disheartened, homeless idealist who lost her dream. But now, after finding in me the
strength to persevere, I am able to take what I learned from my previous job and pair it
with what I learn from the university. This knowledge will help me ensure that the future
companies I work with will not have to endure a similar fallout.

However, if there comes a time when I am again involved in a lost company, I know how
to repair. I know how to restore.

In this essay, the applicant was asked to recall a challenging situation to which the
writer overcame the boundaries. The writer was asked to do this in approximately 450
words, using concise language and proper grammar and punctuation. In questions
similar to these, the admissions officers are looking for:

Applicant's ability to identify a challenging moment in her life: This writer uses a
relevant example of a challenging situation, describing the challenge of losing a
job, losing housing, and having to move to a different city.

Examples of how the applicant overcame these challenges: The writer cites her
adaptability as the reason why she was able to overcome this challenge.
Instead of giving up, the applicant tells of applying for other jobs, even ones that
were out of her comfort zone and in another city.

Brief insights to what the applicant learned from the challenge: This writer
learned how to maintain strength, perseverance and adaptability in challenging
situations. The applicant tells of continuing the learning process in her MBA
program and allowing it to help future companies.

Sample College Admission Essays

This section contains two examples of good college essays.

1. College Essay One

 2. College Essay Two

3. College Essay Three

College Essay One

Prompt: Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have
chosen State University and your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s).

State University and I possess a common vision. I, like State University, constantly work
to explore the limits of nature by exceeding expectations. Long an amateur scientist, it
was this drive that brought me to the University of Texas for its Student Science Training
Program in 2013. Up to that point science had been my private past time, one I had yet
to explore on anyone elses terms. My time at UT, however, changed that. Participating
for the first time in a full-length research experiment at that level, I felt more alive, more
engaged, than I ever had before. Learning the complex dynamics between
electromagnetic induction and optics in an attempt to solve one of the holy grails of
physics, gravitational-waves, I could not have been more pleased. Thus vindicated, my
desire to further formalize my love of science brings me to State University. Thanks to
this experience, I know now better than ever that State University is my future, because
through it I seek another, permanent, opportunity to follow my passion for science and
engineering.

In addition to just science, I am drawn to State University for other reasons. I strive to
work with the diverse group of people that State University wholeheartedly
accommodates and who also share my mindset. They, like me, are there because
State University respects the value of diversity. I know from personal experience that in
order to achieve the trust, honesty, and success that State University values, new
people are needed to create a respectful environment for these values. I feel that my
background as an American Sikh will provide an innovative perspective in the
universitys search for knowledge while helping it to develop a basis for future success.
And that, truly, is the greatest success I can imagine.

This emphasis on diversity can also be found in the variety of specialized departments
found at State University. On top of its growing cultural and ethnic diversity, State
University is becoming a master at creating a niche for every student. However, this
does not isolate students by forcing them to work with only those individuals who follow
their specific discipline. Instead, it is the seamless interaction between facilities that
allows each department, from engineering to programming, to create a real learning
environment that profoundly mimics the real world. Thus, State University is not just the
perfect place for me, it is the only place for me. Indeed, having the intellectual keenness
to absorb every ounce of knowledge presented through my time in the IB program, I
know that I can contribute to State University as it continues to cultivate a scholarly
climate that encourages intellectual curiosity.

At the Department of Electrical and Computer Engineering at State University, I will be

able to do just that. In a department where education and research are intermixed, I can
continue to follow the path that towards scientific excellence. Long-mesmerized by
hobbies like my work with the FIRST Robotics team, I believe State University would be
the best choice to continue to nurture my love for electrical and computer engineering. I
have only scratched the surface in this ever evolving field but know that the
technological potential is limitless. Likewise, I feel that my time at State University would
make my potential similarly limitless.

This is a picture-perfect response to a university-specific essay prompt. What makes it

particularly effective is not just its cohesive structure and elegant style but also the level
of details the author uses in the response. By directly identifying the specific aspects of
the university that are attractive to the writer, the writer is able to clearly and effectively
show not only his commitment to his studies but perhaps more importantly the level
of thought he put into his decision to apply. Review committees know what generic
responses look like so specificity sells.

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College Essay Two

Prompt: What motivates you?

For as long as I can remember, I have dreamed of science. Where others see the
engineering, experimentation, and presentation of science as a chore, I only see
excitement. Even as a child I constantly sought it out, first on television with Bill Nye and
The Mythbusters, then later in person in every museum exhibit I could find. Science in
all its forms fascinated me, but science projects in particular were a category all to
themselves. To me, science projects were a special joy that only grew with time. In fact,
it was this continued fascination for hands-on science that brought me years later to the
sauna that is the University of Alabama in mid-June. Participating in the Student
Science Training Program and working in their lab made me feel like a kid in a candy
store. Just the thought of participating in a project at this level of scientific rigor made
me forget that this was supposed to be my summer break and I spent the first day
eagerly examining every piece of equipment.
Even at first, when the whole research group sat there doing rote calculations and
others felt like they were staring down the barrel of defeated purpose, I remained
enthusiastic. Time and time again I reminded myself of that famous phrase "great effort
leads to great rewards," and sure enough, soon my aspirations began to be met. This
shift in attitude also coincided with a shift in location: from the computer desk to the
laser lab. It was finally time to get my hands dirty.

Now things began to get really interesting. During the experimentation phase of the
project, I spent the majority of my waking hours in the lab and I enjoyed every minute
of it. From debriefing with my coordinator in the morning to checking and rechecking
results well into the afternoon, I was on cloud nine all day, every day. I even loved the
electric feeling of anxiety as I waited for the results. Most of all, though, I loved the
pursuit of science itself. Before I knew it, I was well into the seventh week and had
completed my first long-term research experiment.

In the end, although the days were long and hard, my work that summer filled me with
pride. That pride has confirmed and reinvigorated my love for science. I felt more alive,
more engaged, in that lab than I have anywhere else, and I am committed to returning. I
have always dreamed of science but since that summer, since my experiment, I have
dreamed only of the future. To me, medical science is the future and through it I seek
another, permanent, opportunity to follow my passion. After all, to follow your passion is,
literally, a dream come true.

In addition to its use of clear, demonstrative language, there is one thing that makes this
an effective essay: focus. Indeed, notice that, although the question is broad, the
answer is narrow. This is crucial. It can be easy to wax poetic on a topic and, in the
process, take on too much. Instead, by highlighting one specific aspect of his
personality, the author is able to give the reader a taste of his who he is without
overwhelming him or simply reproducing his rsum. This emphasis gives the reader
the opportunity to learn who the writer is on his terms and makes it a truly compelling
application essay.

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College Essay Three

The winter of my seventh grade year, my alcoholic mother entered a psychiatric unit for
an attempted suicide. Mom survived, but I would never forget visiting her at the ward or
the complete confusion I felt about her attempt to end her life. Today I realize that this
experience greatly influenced my professional ambition as well as my personal identity.
While early on my professional ambitions were aimed towards the mental health field,
later experiences have redirected me towards a career in academia.

I come from a small, economically depressed town in Northern Wisconson. Many

people in this former mining town do not graduate high school and for them college is
an idealistic concept, not a reality. Neither of my parents attended college. Feelings of
being trapped in a stagnant environment permeated my mind, and yet I knew I had to
graduate high school; I had to get out. Although most of my friends and family did not
understand my ambitions, I knew I wanted to make a difference and used their doubt as
motivation to press through. Four days after I graduated high school, I joined the U.S.
Army.

The 4 years I spent in the Army cultivated a deep-seated passion for serving society.
While in the Army, I had the great honor to serve with several men and women who, like
me, fought to make a difference in the world. During my tour of duty, I witnessed several
shipmates suffer from various mental aliments. Driven by a commitment to serve and a
desire to understand the foundations of psychological illness, I decided to return to
school to study psychology.

In order to pay for school and continue being active in the community, I enlisted in the
Texas Army National Guard as a Medic. Due to the increased deployment schedule and
demands placed on all branches of the military after September 11, my attendance in
school has necessarily come second to my commitment to the military. There are
various semesters where, due to this demand, I attended school less than full time.
Despite taking a long time and the difficulty in carving separate time for school with such
occupational requirements, I remained persistent aiming towards attending school as
my schedule would allow. My military commitment ends this July and will no longer
complicate my academic pursuits.

In college, as I became more politically engaged, my interest began to gravitate more

towards political science. The interest in serving and understanding people has never
changed, yet I realized I could make a greater difference doing something for which I
have a deeper passion, political science. Pursuing dual degrees in both Psychology and
Political Science, I was provided an opportunity to complete a thesis in Psychology with
Dr. Sheryl Carol a Professor in Social Psychology at the University of Texas (UT) This
fall I will complete an additional thesis as a McNair Scholar with Dr. Ken Chambers,
Associate Professor in Latin American studies in the UT Political Science Department.

As an undergraduate, I was privileged to gain extensive research experience working in

a research lab with Dr. Carol. During the three years I worked in her lab, I aided in
designing a study, writing an Institutional Review Board (IRB) application, running
participants through both pilot and regular studies, coding data, and analyzing said data,
with these experiences culminating in my honors thesis. This thesis, entitled Self-
Esteem and Need-to-Belong as predictors of implicit stereotypic explanatory bias,
focuses on the relationship between levels (high and low) of self-esteem and an
individuals need to belong in a group, and how they predict whether an individual will
tend to explain stereotype-inconsistent behavior. Participating in such a large study from
start to finish has validated my interest in academic research as a profession.

This fall I will embark on writing an additional honors thesis in political science. While
the precise topic of my thesis is undecided, I am particularly interested in Mexico and its
development towards a more democratic government. Minoring in Spanish, I have read
various pieces of literature from Mexico and have come to respect Mexico and Latin
American culture and society. I look forward to conducting this research as it will have a
more qualitative tilt than my thesis in psychology, therefore granting an additional
understanding of research methodology.

My present decision to switch from social psychology to political science is further

related to a study abroad course sponsored by the European Union with Dr. Samuel
Mitchell, an Associate Professor in the Political Science Department at UT. Professor
Mitchell obtained a grant to take a class of students to Belgium in order to study the EU.
This course revealed a direct correlation between what I had studied in the classroom
with the real world. After spending several weeks studying the EU, its history and
present movement towards integration, the class flew to Brussels where we met with
officials and proceeded to learn firsthand how the EU functioned.

My interest in attending the University of Rochester in particular, relates to my first

semester at OU and the opportunity to take an introductory course in statistics with the
now retired Dr. Larry Miller. Through the combination of a genuine appreciation and
knack for statistics and with his encouragement, I proceeded to take his advanced
statistics class as well as the first graduate level statistics course at OU. I continued my
statistical training by completing the second graduate statistics course on model
comparisons with Dr. Roger Johnson, a Professor in the Psychology Department. The
model comparison course was not only the most challenging course I have taken as an
undergraduate, but the most important. As the sole undergraduate in the course and
only college algebra under my belt, I felt quite intimidated. Yet, the rigors of the class
compelled me to expand my thinking and learn to overcome any insecurities and deficits
in my education. The effort paid off as I earned not only an A in the course, but also
won the T.O.P.S. (Top Outstanding Psychology Student) award in statistics. This award
is given to the top undergraduate student with a demonstrated history of success in
statistics.
My statistical training in psychology orientates me toward a more quantitative graduate
experience. Due to the University of Rochesters reputation for an extensive use of
statistics in political science research, I would make a good addition to your fall class.
While attending the University of Rochester, I would like to study international relations
or comparative politics while in graduate school. I find the research of Dr.s Hein
Goemans and Gretchen Helmke intriguing and would like the opportunity to learn more
about it through the Graduate Visitation program.

Participation in the University of Rochesters Graduate School Visitation Program would

allow me to learn more about the Department of Political Science to further see if my
interests align with those in the department. Additionally, my attendance would allow the
Political Science department to make a more accurate determination on how well I
would fit in to the program than from solely my graduate school application. Attending
the University of Rochester with its focus on quantitative training, would not only allow
me to utilize the skills and knowledge I gained as an undergraduate, but also would
expand this foundation to better prepare me to conduct research in a manner I find
fascinating.

From attending S.E.R.E. (Survival/POW training) in the military and making it through a
model comparisons course as an undergraduate, I have rarely shied away from a
challenge. I thrive on difficult tasks as I enjoy systematically developing solutions to
problems. Attending the University of Rochester would more than likely prove a
challenge, but there is no doubt in my mind that I would not only succeed but enable me
to offer a unique set of experiences to fellow members of the incoming graduate class.