Stories of Divorce

For Adults

By Rachel Reichmann, Marina McTee, Bailey Johnson, and Landon Stubbs

 Divorce Statistics

Courtesy of CDC

Number of marriages: 2,140, 272 (49 reporting States and D.C)

Marriage rate: 6.9 per 1,000 total population (49 reporting States and D.C)

Number of divorces: 813,862 (45 reporting States and D.C.)

Divorce rate: 3.2 per 1,000 population (45 reporting States and D.C.)

These statistics show that the divorce rate in the U.S. is about 50%.

The purpose of this booklet is to have a resource of stories of divorce so that those who

are considering a divorce have a reference as to what could happen. Divorce is different for

everyone, but for those that need it, this resource will be a way to know what divorce has done to

others and what it could do to you. Please take all of these stories into consideration as well as

your own, when considering divorce. We are not trying to say that you should not get a divorce;

every situation is different, and divorce may be the best option for you. This is a resource for you

to have all the information that divorce statistics dont tell you.
*Disclaimer: All stories are anonymous for the safety of the participants*

Female, 19+

My biological parents are divorced, my adopted parents are divorced, all my aunts and

uncles are, my grandparents, literally everyone. It taught me from very young that love doesn't

last and that you have to pick sides.

Female, 15-19

When I was 3 years old I remember my dad and mom fighting and then my dad left and

my mom had to explain to me that he was never coming back. I didn't understand. But when I got

older my mom told me it was due to cheating and money. It was really long ago me now being 17

but it still really affects me and I wonder what it would be like if we all could have happily lived

together. That's all I can remember...

Female, 15-19

My best friend's parents divorced before I met her. Each of her parents got remarried.

She struggles with dealing with two sets of parents. I learned a lot about what it's like to have

divorced parents from her. These past few months, my parents made the decision to be divorced.

They have fought over the years, so this came as no surprise to me. It was difficult, especially for

my dad. My mom kept the house and has custody of the kids. I am old enough to drive, so I am

free to travel back and forth as I please. This has made it less stressful on me. However, I have

two younger siblings who struggle a lot with having to switch houses Tuesdays and every other

weekend. The divorce was just finalized this week, and we are all still adjusting.

Female, 19+

I was 12 years old when my parents separated and divorced. It affected me a lot and I

had a hard time in school that year. I was involved In the drama of my parents for the next 4

years and dropped out of high school to work full time and take care of myself financially. I am

in my late 20's and still struggle.

 Female, 19+

My best friends parent are divorced. I can't imagine what that would be like and how

hard it was for her to go through. I just sat on the sidelines hoping there was something I could

do. We were in 7th grade at the time, and her dad got remarried not even 6 months later, just as

the drama was almost over, and cheating was brought up because of the quick wedding, so it

dragged things out even longer. It's been almost 7 years and her mom is still single. Her mom

gained weight and hasn't really been the same. Her dad is happy with his new life (to my

knowledge) and the step moms a really nice lady. It's been hard watching my bestfriend have to

go through this, especially moving back and forth a lot. I also think it really screwed with her

and her brothers minds for a while. She moved in with her grandparents as soon as we

graduated. Her older brother got married last October to his baby momma (The baby happened

a few years after the divorce when he was a Junior) and her younger brother just joined the

Army as soon as he graduated HS this past January. I think her life would suck even more if her

parents had stayed together. But all 3 kids got away as soon as possible and don't have super

great relationships with either of their parents. They're all really close though, so that's a bonus.

All in all, life happens, ya know? And what can we do except take it a day at a time.

Female, 15-19

My parents divorced when I was pretty young, so I don't remember the actual divorce, I

only remember the aftermath. I got lucky, because after my parents split they became friends and

my mom took care of my dad while he was sick. I got to see both of my parents all the time until I

had to move away from Canada to the U.S. After that I barely saw my dad because we travelled

so much. It was hard on my brother and I but my mom did her best to help us see our dad. And I

always knew both of my parents loved me unconditionally.

 Female, 19+

My parents divorced when I was 8.

I was pretty much on my own after that. I have been married 3x's. I picked the wrong people the

first 2x's. I had to grow up and mature to find the right person and I plan to stay married until

the end. Don't rush into marriage and make sure they are who you want to spend the rest of your

life with before having children.

Female, 19+

My own divorce was from an abusive relationship. I tried every day to do the best for my

kids. I talked up their dad every chance I had, reminding them that he loved them, that he would

visit soon. Going so far as to buy Christmas for them from me AND from dad. I believed then,

and I still believe that all they need to know is that both parents love them. All the garbage and

ugliness is something they should never know. Half the blood that runs through their veins comes

from, your ex. Remind them as often as you can, that both of their halves are good, loving

people. Lie if you have to.

Female, 19+

My dad decided to stay away because my mom made it hard for him to see us. So i dont

have much of a relationship with my dad.

Female, 19+

I was two years old. I recall going back and forth to visit my dad every other weekend. I

remember one weekend I went to visit my dad at that time I broke my leg and my dad wouldn't

take me. I guess I didn't know any different because I was young.

Female, 19+

My divorce was my fault, I fell in love with someone else. Needless to say my divorce

started off ugly. But I fought for us to have joint physical and joint legal for our son. It took a
 couple years for us to finally get along. Now we get along great and he got remarried. I'm very

close to their kids. We all support each others activities. My ex and I split everything down the

middle and we don't do child support or alimony. We are great friends now. We were

divorced when my son was 3 Years Old and now he's 21. My son is close to both sides.

Female, 19+

My parents got divorced when I was 11. My dad remarried a year later. My relationship

with my dad and stepmom was very strained for the rest of my childhood. I also grew up

believing that my dad left because I wasn't worth staying for. I believed that I wasn't worthy of

the best. I blamed my dad. I vowed that I would never get divorced. Now that I'm married I now

understand how incredibly hard marriage is. I'm still committed to never getting divorced, but

now I can understand. I have also worked very hard at forgiving my parents. I have a great

relationship with my dad and stepmom now. I have also worked hard at believing the truth which

is that I am worthy of love. The fact that my dad left was due to his issues, not my personal value.

Divorce has an eternal effect on everyone involved, but healing can happen if you pursue it.

Female, 19+

My dad cheated on my mother with a lot if woman so finally she got strong enough to

realize that he had the problem and issues. So she left him with 6 kids in tow. We were way better

off without him. He was selfish and spent all the money. So after he left my mom went back to

work. She worked hard and always tried to give us new clothes at Easter and Christmas. We

went out to eat twice a month. She tried to be there for us as much as possible. She worked nights

which we hated but she did that because it paid more and then she could get home right before

we went to school. Then she would sleep. So it always felt like she was around. She got

remarried about 3 yrs later to a great man. He was a great step dad. That when I saw that there

were good men in the world. My dad was in and out of our lives most of the time. Not one you
 could count on for much. They tried to be friendly to each other. I have some abandonment

issues and self esteem problems but I am a strong woman too where it counts.

Female, 19+

My mom and dad were married for most of my life, but they always kind of hated each

other. Their relationship wasn't abusive, but It was toxic. They were wrong for each other.

Communication was a huge issue. My dad developed cancer and shortly after an operation, he

left. He and my mom have been fighting over who's right and who's wrong in the relationship,

when in truth they're both awful to each other. My mom has tried divorcing him several times,

but we never have the $300 to file the divorce, so it hasn't happened yet. Both my mom and dad

are disabled (Dad has cancer and mom has dementia), so they can't pay for it. If she doesn't

divorce him soon, we'll be stuck with the hospital bills and funeral costs. As a result, my mom

has been worrying herself to death about what we can do to fix things, but nothing is helpful.

To top it all off, my dad is trying to take the house from us, even though he has less than 6

months to live. He probably can't do it, but the fact that he wishes me and my mom and brother

homeless really hurts. My mom has kicked me out of the house 3 times since January, including

just today. We fight alot, and she won't deal with it.

In my experience, parents who don't care about each other often don't care about their kids, too.

Female, 19+

My parents divorced when I was 3, Because of circumstances beyond his control, my

birth father was not able to be the father. He had a terminal illness which caused him physical

pain and to be angry and violent. Then he would drink alcohol to numb his literal pain, fear,

anger, frustration and confusion-He became violent with my mom- so to protect my brother and I

she would put us in a closet when he would come home drunk, she didn't want him to take his

frustrations out on us.

I believe My mother did what she thought was best for my younger brother and myself, after the
 divorce I did not have any contact with my my birth father.

My mother remarried and I have an amazing step dad whom I love. I Believe I have been truly

blessed with great parents.

I'm now 50 and can see how NOT having my father in my life has affected me. At times I have

been very insecure- and truly frightened that I would be left- by ALL those who love me. I doubt

myself, and my judgements. Sometimes I think I am nicer to people being mean - than I should

be.

I'm more shy, I don't open up to people, i really keep to myself- even if I need help, I'm cautious

not only in my actions but in my speech. I am a people pleaser- but I don't want to be around

people.

And I am literally afraid of the dark-

I can now see I have missed my birth father my entire life.

It's been a lot of years- and one thing I know, children need parents- a Dad and a Mom, I'm

blessed because I have an amazing mom, and an amazing step Dad, and a birth father- that I

know loved us, I'm certain he missed us- but because of circumstances beyond his control he

physically, mentally and emotionally couldn't be with us.

Female, 19+

My parents divorced when I was around 10 years old. It was very hard for me at that

age, plus my parents divorce was really bad and they fought around me and they used me to

communicate with one another. When I was 15 I started dating my now ex husband. When I

turned 18 I got pregnant with my first child and had her when I was 19, then got married that

same year. Sadly, I only married because I thought it was best for my daughter. After only a few

months of marriage my husband at the time still treated me badly and still wouldn't get a job so I

left him and filed for divorce when my daughter was one years old. We had a rocky divorce for

the first 2 years after I filed, but I always told myself that I would not put my daughter in the
 middle of our issues. It is now 10 years since our divorce and we get along fine and co- parent

very well together. Even my new husband gets along with him and we get along with his new

wife. We both have children from our new marriages, also. My hope is that my children

themselves never have to go through a divorce. It's very hard and even though the end result can

be "as good as it can get" in this type of situation, it is still extremely hard and very emotional

for everyone involved, especially the kids.

Female, 15-19

My dad left and I thought it was all my fault. Every time we would go to my dads I would

be scared cause I didn't want my mom to leave me and I felt he didn't like me and he might hurt

me. Ever since my parents got divorced Ive been clingy to my mom cause I don't want her to

leave like my dad did.