Elizabeth Albuquerque

Tony Kulla

Advisory

5/5/17

Habits of Mind

At Blackstone Academy Charter School, students follow an individual growth system

called Habits of Mind. These Habits of Mind contain a total of thirteen habits: Collaboration,

Community Engagement, Creativity, Gratitude, Grit, Humility, Integrity, Optimism, Organization,

Self-Advocacy, Upstanderness, Wellness and Zest. As a senior, I am writing my final Habits of

Mind essay in order to share with my audience just how far Ive come through my reflections on

each habit.

First comes Collaboration, which means working successfully with others by listening

empathically, leading sensitively, contributing meaningfully, and learning from group members.

This year I definitely didnt do as well in this Habit of Mind. For example, in Environmental

Science, students tend to be paired with the students sitting in their row, making group sizes

about two to three students depending. In this class, everything is revolved around group work.

In my opinion, there is absolutely no way a student could pass if they didnt do group work. Now

normally I dont mind group work, but it became frustrating for me in this class because the

people who I was assigned to sit next to were either never there or almost never did their work.

Although I could understand their hardships, an example being a student who couldnt speak

much English so they would often become frustrated and quit, it was tough on me because I got

stuck doing all the work. Practically every project that I did in this class was all my work. I never
complained about it out of empathy for these students. I think a good skill to learn would be how

to encourage students who struggle to do their work for whatever reason to do it, especially

when I go to college and the professor doesnt care who did what.

Next comes Community Engagement, which means active participation in the school,

local, state, and global communities. Despite having some ups and downs in this habit of mind

this year, I feel like I still excelled in it because despite doing so well in it last year, I managed to

overcome some of the challenges I had faced last year. Besides bringing the travel team to

Blackstone, I had struggled with getting in touch with people for my service learning project and

my internship. I worked with Heidy Rompich, so she did all the outside contacting and I just

hopped along in that aspect, whereas getting the travel team to Blackstone was easy because

I had already known and was obviously comfortable with John Horton, my freshman biology

teacher, and Mr. Marchetti, history teacher at JMW. This year, there was no one for me to fall

back on so I had to make the effort to reach out to others in my community. For example, I had

no help when it came to setting up my very first interview. I had to search up and contact around

15 different organizations to finally get someone. I got in contact with two people, Dee

DeQuattro from Operation Stand Down Rhode Island (OSDRI) and Rhode Islands first ever

(NAME IT).

After this comes Creativity, which means daring to think flexibly, being willing to

reconsider ideas, solve problems by taking appropriate risks, and discover more about oneself

through the process. This year, when it comes to my senior paper, I think I couldve done

better. My senior paper was so hard for me to write. I hit numerous roadblocks and just like what

I mentioned earlier, I often became frustrated and gave up. It got so bad that my paper wasnt

signed off until the last 10 minutes before grades would be closed for the quarter. If I could redo

my senior year all over again, my paper would definitely be on the list. When it comes to my
senior project, however, I think I did pretty well. A few students this year, for their senior project,

either worked with or had the idea to work with therapy dogs. Similar to my paper, I hit a huge

roadblock. I could no longer do a movie night because certain movies could trigger PTSD. I had

no idea on what to do. Then, all of a sudden, the idea to bring therapy dogs to veterans popped

into my head. I emailed Dee DeQuattro, the person in charge, and she had asked that I instead

bring them to OSDRIs Boots on the Ground for Heroes Memorial. Just like that I got to work

and managed to get seven therapy dogs to attend throughout memorial weekend.

Then comes Gratitude, which means showing appreciation for others and for ones

opportunities. Like always, I am extremely grateful, especially now that Im a senior. I may be a

tough cookie to handle sometimes, but I truly understand and am grateful for everything

everyone has done for me in order for me to get this far, even if I dont always acknowledge it.

This year, I often felt guilty by how often I had to rely on and get the help of others, an example

being me having to ask for donations from my family for the party after my senior project as I

just couldnt afford everything. I was constantly reminded that the world doesnt revolve around

me. Asking for help became almost like a hassle and I started to despise doing it as I felt like I

was being a burden, even though I had all these people around me willing to help. I was and am

at that part in my life where I want to be an adult but I dont have the resources and the means

just yet, which I do believe did contribute to these feelings. On top of that, I felt like I was taking

advantage of peoples kindness and being the prideful, sensitive person I am it was hard for me

to bare. I tried to figure it all out on my own, which is truly impossible. I feel like this should be

something brought up to the new seniors next year because this really did affect me on both my

paper and my project.

Fifth comes Grit, which means persevering despite difficulties; finishing what is started;

working independently with focus and intensity. Grit has always been one of those habits of
mind that Ive been wishy-washy with. However, this year I dont feel like I did so well in it due to

what is known as senioritis. Now, I didnt always have senioritis. I didnt catch it until the end of

the third quarter when it seemed to fly around like an epidemic. I got hit really hard when it was

time for senior papers to be signed off and then again at the end of the year when it came to my

senior project and having to do my portfolio (it was some serious crunch time). Senior year was

so rough on me that I had quite a few breakdowns that Im sure all seniors are familiar with.

There were moments where I lost all motivation to do anything and it was difficult to even just

get up in the morning and go to school. Although I do think that school should be challenging, I

do not believe that school should be so challenging as to cause breakdowns. As healthy as it

is for us to experience these feelings and struggles now rather than in college, the fact that

were still young and growing and going through our own personal challenges should be

acknowledged as well.

Next comes Humility, which means awareness that everyone has strengths and

weaknesses. I tend to be quite hard on myself when it comes to acknowledging my strengths

and weaknesses. I more often than not tend to beat myself up when I dont think something Ive

done is perfect, like my senior paper for instance. This year was no different, especially when I

hit the tough points in my life. I just couldnt put myself everywhere at once but I was striving to

be like some superhero. I always thought that I could be doing better and sometimes I was right,

but it was hard to get out of the thought that I just wasnt good enough. I would just waste away

in my room and not talk to anybody or do anything, making it all the more worse as I wasnt

acknowledging my problems.

After that comes Integrity, which means telling the truth to oneself and others through

ones words and actions, even when its difficult. Similar to humility, I beat myself up quite often.

Even though I tell the truth to others, very little do I tell it to myself. I rarely ever think that Im
good enough, something that is quite a downfall of mine. I think it all the time, but I cant be that

bad if Im going to make the National Honors Society if I get honors this quarter. My self-esteem

is like my achilles heel and if I keep thinking the way that I do, the only person who Im going to

hurt in the end is myself.

Then comes Optimism, which means believing that ones life, community, and world

can get better with effort. Optimism was another tough habit of mind for me this year, especially

when it comes to anything college related. When I was applying for colleges, I often thought that

there was no way I would make it into that school, so I didnt apply (something that I truly

regret). Now that Im going to URI and I know some of the students who are going to the Talent

Development Program (most of which I either dont really associate with or dont like) Im not

looking forward to that either in the sense that I fear I wont get that fresh start or fit into the

college culture. I dont want another four years or more of what Ive done and experienced at

Blackstone. I was truly hoping for that fresh start that everyone refers to and Im praying that I

get it. I dont think I could make it through another four years like the past few Ive had. Not only

has it affected me with colleges, but also in senior seminar and senior year in general. There

were countless times that I would think to myself that theres absolutely no way Im going to be

able to graduate. Im always hard on myself and I definitely need to think more positively if I ever

want to truly be happy in life.

Ninth comes Organization, which means giving structure to ones thinking, ones work,

and ones life. I tried so hard to be organized but even halfway through I just threw this habit of

mind out of the window, definitely taking a huge step backwards compared to last year where I

had all my work perfectly organized. I started off buying a binder for all my senior seminar work

organized ever so neatly by month to no folders and papers thrown everywhere. Senioritis, my

lack of motivation, and all these other emotions were just whamming at me all at once in this
more than complicated time of my life which played a huge role in it. If I were to open my bag

right now, all that would be seen is a bunch of papers. If I were to give a tour of my room to

someone, all that would be seen is even more piles of paper that I could no longer fit in my bag.

It wasnt only affecting my grades, but it was affecting my daily life and was adding even more

stress to the stress that I already had.

Next comes Self-Advocacy, which means being the director of ones own life;

demonstrating agency to become empowered. As a senior, I feel that self-advocacy is a must if

one wants to graduate. Seniors have to advocate in order to get done what needs to be done.

However, when it comes to colleges and my own choices, I feel quite iffy for the lack of a better

word. I only applied to a few schools and most of them didnt give me much in financial aid. URI

gave me the best package and it was close enough to home so I could escape but far enough to

get the college experience that everyone stresses about. Im extremely grateful for getting into

the Talent Development Program and I understand just how lucky I am, but I feel as if I havent

fulfilled my true potential as almost everyone Ive told that Im going to URI says something

along the lines of But thats not bad! Because of this, even though I was on top of the world

when I found out I got into the TD program, I feel bad because it wasnt my first choice, I really

wanted to get away, and people make me feel like its almost a bad thing for going even though

I just made a huge accomplishment.

Then comes Upstanderness, which means demonstrating active compassion, even

when afraid or in front of a crowd; righting a wrong; helping those who are situationally

disempowered. I feel as if Ive always done pretty well in upstanderness. As everyone in

Blackstone knows, these last few weeks have been crazy with the boys bathroom situation, all

the fights, and the list goes on. The day that the new hallway and bathroom rules came into

place everyone was upset. Some kids managed to take it to the extreme, however, and made
this elaborate plan to say that a teacher (who I will not name) had molested them. Although at

first it just sounded like some sick joke, I kept listening and it turned out they were really getting

into it. I decided to, as a senior who seriously doesnt want to leave Blackstone the way it has

become, say something to them. After going back and forth with these students as to why it was

wrong and why they thought this teacher deserved it, I managed to get them to change their

minds. Not normally being a snitch though, I had no idea what to do. I mean, what if they did

decide to go through with the plan anyway? This could ruin that teachers whole life! I was

conflicted so I brought it up to my coach, Rhonda, during one of our coach meetings and she

recommended that I meet with Carolyn right away. I did and even though I was afraid to tell her

as I didnt want these students coming after me, I got it done and actually managed to solve a

few mysteries. At first it didnt feel good out of worrying for myself, but running into that teacher

after school and seeing them with their child truly made it all worthwhile.

After this comes Wellness, which means actively working to maintain a healthy mind,

body and soul. Just like organization, I also threw this habit of mind right out the window. I had

mostly all the right tools to be healthy, but I was stuck in such a stupor that was practically

inescapable. I was always up late at night doing work I procrastinated on, eating tons of

unhealthy food due to stress eating and putting on weight, no longer exercising and barely

hanging out with friends due to hiding away in my room; I was a mess. Without a doubt in my

mind I had some serious depression and it hasnt been easy. Im really pushing for that fresh

start in college, without it I dont know what Ill do. Im not saying that Ill ever be perfect, no one

is, but I want my life to be happier.

Last but not least comes Zest, which means participating enthusiastically and

passionately; invigorating others. Similar to last year, I would be too afraid to let others know

what I think out of fear of being judged when it came to class discussions. Despite this, I still
spoke up and said what I needed to, especially in US History where I was always adding to the

classroom discussions.

Its truly hitting me that this is the end of my high school experience. Its quite sad yet

thrilling all at the same time. I dont want to go, but at the same time I want to spread my wings

and fly. There is this cluster of clashing emotions so its impossible to feel just one way. All I

know is that Im truly going to miss the people who had a positive impact on my life. I cannot be

more grateful for all they have done for me in order to help shape me into the person I am

today. Im going to miss not only them but the little moments shared as well. Although I may be

leaving, this certainly isnt goodbye as I will keep in touch. Thank you for listening to and reading

my last ever Habits of Mind essay and for going through this journey with me.