Lozovska 1

Olga Lozovska

Professor H. Batty

English 101

28 May 2017

Surrendering a Dream for the Sake of Baby

Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a

successful personality and duplicate it, Bruce Lee. In Still Water Saints by Alex Espinoza we

can see several characters and members of the small community that have their own problems

and issues, but no matter what they all try to be brave in expressing themselves. Every individual

is worthy of admiration for some decisions that have been made, and especially for being

dedicated and faithful to themselves even in crises that they face. Azucar is the member of Agua

Mansa community that has some personal issues, assigned male at birth seeking to change

gender, saving money for the sex reassignment surgery. One day her life changes when she finds

abandoned infant and decides to keep him. Although, some may argue that Azucar is selfish for

keeping the baby and that her motives are to feel like a mother and moreover like a woman, I

argue that she displays saint like characteristics such as genuineness, because of her

determination to be true to herself no matter what society says and selflessness for trying to save

the infant and provide him a better life.

Azucar is facing the problem of being in a wrong body. She was assigned as the male

gender at birth but lives as a female. She looks and acts like a woman with her long hair, thick

eyelashes, smooth skin, and curvy body; she takes care of herself like a lady, keeping up with the

latest beauty treatments. She doesnt care about people gossiping or bullying; she is strong and
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brave. Azucar is seeking to do the sex reassignment surgery to completely transition to being a

female; she is saving up money for the surgery, dancing in the club at nights, rolling around

onstage in her tight dress, and cleaning the clinica in the mornings. It is a big step for her, she

needs to save just a little bit more and her big dream will come true. Azucar constantly displays

her genuineness to herself even though she is facing battles every day in society because of her

impulse to be a real woman.

Transgender are people, whose gender identity, expression or behavior is different from

the one that was assigned at the birth. It is called Gender Dysphoria, a dissatisfaction with the

biological sex, that may result in anxiety, depression, restlessness, or other symptoms. Very often

they feel ashamed, they isolate and hide from the society that may not approve their choice, there

are fears that they will not be accepted by family, friends, classmates, colleges, or communities.

All these secrets can lead to depression and anxiety, insomnia, or even to suicidal thoughts.

According to the 2015 U.S. Transgender survey, 39% of the responders have experienced serious

psychological distress, and 40% attempted suicide. In an anonymous platform, where

transgender people shared their journeys, fears and honest thoughts, an anonymous person

revealed: Yes, Im transgender. No, Im not a freak. Im just trapped in a wrong body, Im still

human. From another source, Im in denial about being transgender. I know the road will lead

me to a happier place, but Im scared to go on it. In addition, one can see how some of them

have fears that society does not accept them, and doubts about either being a gender they do not

want to be or transferring despite society non-acceptance. Transgender people often face

discrimination, abuse, harassment and bullying at school, work, with family or friends.

According to the transgender survey, 54% of the transsexual population were verbally harassed,

24% physically abused and 13% sexually assaulted in school; 30% were fired from work, denied
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a promotion or experienced other forms of mistreatment at work. This discloses how transgender

people are being mistreated just for trying to be honest in expressing themselves. Despite all of

her short comings Azucar is an inspiration to the transgender society because of her genuineness

to herself. This speaks to the determination that Azucar has to be who she feels that she is. Her

ability to suffer stands as a symbol of her honesty.

In Still Water Saints, Azucar displays her saint like quality of selflessness when she

decides to foster an abandoned child. Azucar meets Beatrice, a girl who works in the clinica for a

few years, they become co-workers and close friends. Beatrice tells her sad stories about abused

women that she had seen at the clinica, about babies being abandoned or taken away from their

mothers, and end up in foster care being abused and harmed. When Azucar has found a baby,

abandoned by his mother at the clinica door, she has heard her deceased friends voice I wish I

could save just one of those babies. Break that cycle. Without much hesitation Azucar decides

to keep the baby, she just holds the infant and walks away. She spends a portion of her savings to

buy supplies for the baby, diapers, lotion, some clothes and even a stuffed animal to play with

since his birth mother didnt leave him much. Azucar has maternal instinct to protect this baby

from the moment she saw him. She makes a decision to leave the town, to relocate with the baby

and to find a quiet place to settle down. She doesnt think about her big dream anymore, she is

ready to spend money on baby, to provide him a better life. She promises to take care of him:

Youll have things clothes, toys, your own soft crib to sleep in. Ill make sure of it. The

money will be enough to last us for a while until I find another job. Well settle down. Find a

small place with a yard for you to run around in and trees for you to climb. Her priorities

changed, now she has responsibilities and someone to take care of, she needs to make sure that

baby will have better future, she gives him a chance for a happy and healthy life, that he
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deserves. One can see that her actions speak for themselves in displaying her saint-like quality of

selflessness.

What drives a mother to leave her own baby to the mercy of fate? It's been said, that

women who discard their newborns generally havent made plans for the birth or care of the

child, and are often not mature enough to understand the consequences of their actions. Baby

dumping, which is discarding or abandoning an infant, is an increasing problem in the USA and

other countries. It can occur in different forms: leaving a child in places where it can be found by

authorities, such as hospitals, police or fire stations, or discarding in an unsafe and unattended

location where they have little chance of survival with no health care and hygiene. There are

over 20 million of homeless or abandoned helpless children all over the world! The

consequences for the child who grow up being aware of what happened may be lifelong. They

may have low self-esteem and sense of self-worth, depressions, anxiety, sleep issues, even if

were adopted by the loving family. They may have difficulty trusting people, forming lasting

bonds, or even relating to a spouse or partner. Without this horrible example of baby dumping,

Azucar would have not had the opportunity to save the life of an infant child thus displaying her

best quality, selflessness.

Despite some people believe that Azucar decided to keep the baby only because of the

selfish purposes, I would have to disagree. Azucar has already displayed the saint like quality of

genuineness in the fact that she is true to herself even though she was born a male. The act of

keeping the baby that she found at the clinica was reiterating her selflessness. I believe that she

felt compassion for the baby, abandoned by his mother, she imagined him being abused in foster

care or getting into a wrong family. She felt that the child deserves a safe and a loving home.

Maybe it wasnt right to just walk away and skip legal adoption procedures, but I believe that she
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didnt want the kid to experience depressions, anxiety and low self-esteem, because of the fact of

being left behind by his biological mother, she just wanted him a normal life with loving mother.

She wanted to protect him from the ugly truth. I admire Azucar for surrendering her big dream,

for spending her savings just to save and protect this little boy, to provide him a better future.

Saving a baby was more important than her dream.

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Work Cited

2015 U.S. Transgender Survey Executive Summary." Journal (American Water Works

Association) 91.4, Small Systems (n.d.): 257-63. Dec. 2016. Web. 10 May 2017.

Brannagan, Meg. "Psychological Effects of Abandonment on Children." LIVESTRONG.COM.

Leaf Group, 04 June 2010. Web. 01 May 2017.

Stiller, Cleo. "How Many Newborns Are Discarded in the U.S? No One Knows." Fusion.

Fusion.net, 14 Apr. 2015. Web. 01 May 2017.