What strategy should a translator adopt so as not to lose the peculiarities of a text?

Eco highlights
that translation is a constant process of loss and gain. When it is impossible to maintain one
element, we can take into account the possibility of compensating the loss. There is no one-to-one
equivalence between the word, expression or turn of phrase in the source language and another
word, expression or turn of phrase in the target language. A translator can, however, resorts to a
number of translation procedures to compensate for this. Newmark suggests that when a text
intended to be funny, and the loss of a pun appears to be unavoidable, it is possible to compensate
that lack with another pun.1

In my attempt, I tried to be as faithful as possible in order to respect the form and the content of this
poem and the stylistic choices made by the author. Yet, it is not always possible to gain literal
translation of rhymed poems. Sometimes, it is necessary to slightly change the meaning of some
elements, in order to preserve the most important features. After this brief introductory paragraph on
theoretic considerations, I will show in the lines below possible approaches with a poetic text
making a comparison with Adriano Orefices translation.

IV

ANALYSIS AND COMMENT

For my translation, I used the method of Semantic translation defined by Newmark, trying to be
as faithful as possible to the SL, in conjunction with Lefevres method concerning rhymed
translations, which consists in the preservation of aesthetic peculiarities. I tried to produce an
accurate translation respecting both form (rhyme pattern, sound, musicality, fluency) and content.
However, when necessary, I added new elements or omitted others, shifts I considered unavoidable
in order to create proper rhymes, for example, in the third stanza:

ORIGINAL TEXT MY ATTEMPT OREFICES VERSION

The crew was complete: it included a La ciurma era al completo: un La ciurma era completa: un
Boots Calzolaio comprendeva- Lustrascarpe;

A maker of Bonnets and Hoods Un Cappellaio, e ancora nel di cue e di cappelli un Artigiano;
gruppetto

1 Cordisco Mikaela, Slides, English Language V.

In particular, I adopted Malones nine strategies and Vinay and Darbelnets translating procedures,
such as Amplification (in the fifth stanza: si riuscisse a spiegare for know) and Diffusion ( in
the same stanza: andava adagio for paced), or Transposition ( in the twelfth stanza: con
sfrontatezza for an impudent) and Modulation ( in the eighth stanza: ma non tutto
purtroppo for but the worst of it was). There are also cases of Malones Divergence (seventh
stanza: con curafor carefully, in this case Italian language offers the choice between con cura
and accuratamente) Condensation ( svenire for had fainted away; fece impazzire for drive
half-made) and many others. Clearly, we cannot stress all interesting elements of this poem, so
this paper will focus on some problematic areas.

First of all, I want to spend few words on the title.

ORIGINAL TEXT MY ATTEMPT OREFICES VERSION

The Hunting of The Snark La Caccia allo Squapente La Cerca dello Squallo

I have chosen to translate literally the word Hunting. It is arguable that La Cerca might suggest
the idea of the allegoric Quest. Unfortunately, we cannot know if the author really wanted the
hunting to be intended this way. As we have already mentioned above, Carrol always denied giving
explanations about possible hidden meanings. Indeed, he usually claimed the nonsense nature of
this piece of writing. Consequently, I would avoid to add this extra layer of meaning. Then, we
immediately notice the unusual term Snark. Lewis Carroll is well-known for his neologisms and
many of them, nowadays, can be easily found in update dictionaries. 2 In particular, this portmanteau
word is a mixture between Shark and Snake, that he used for creating the name of the Snark.
We have already stated too, that many translators recurred to different options: Ludovici chose
Snarco, Sanesi Snark, Graffi Snualo and so on. Orefice for instance chose Squallo 3 but I
would avoid prefer avoiding a resemblance with the Italian term sciacallo. So, none of them
thought about being faithful to Carrolls linguistic choice, none of them combined two words with
their two meanings. Graffi even opts for a mixture between the English snake and the Italian
squalo. My suggestion is to recreate the same linguistic effect blending two terms that would
sound more likely to an Italian speaker. Squapente appears to fully respect this criterion. Someone
could point out that it is a longer term and that extra syllable could make the text heavier. I beg to

2 For instance, has inspired the naming of a tree, in 1922 by a plant explorer Godfrey Sykes in Mexico.
3 He justifies his choice in footnotes saying that it resembles to the English verb to squall but it is
important to highlight that children audience would never associate Squallo to that notion.
differ, because a typical strategy adopted for poetic translation is Malones reordering that often
solves problems of lines length. It is noticeable from Orefices translation, that he used different
attitudes towards portmanteaux words. In the seventh fit it is possible to remark another blend:
frumious. It is a perfect mixture between furious and fuming that Orefice translates
frumiose. I would suggest the use of frenetenti (frenetico and fumanti) instead of
conserving just the first part of the English blend. The same procedure I would use with
Bandersnatch which is another fantastical creature that first makes appearance in Jabberwocky
some years earlier. The Italian translator opted for Dentisgnacco, while I preferred
Bandapparra for many reasons. Firtsly, I tried not only to be creative making a new term that
would apply to the youngest audience as Orefice did, but I also tried to combine two words which
meanings could possibly refer to the original term. Scholars may claim that it may be superfluous
considering that it is a nonsense poem. In my humble opinion, it has to deal with connotation.
Bandersnatch might not mean anything, but the terms composing this word may hint a subtle
connotational meaning. Bandapparra is composed by Banda and Accapparra and the Italian
verb accaparrare conveys negative meaning. Similarly, I would not say for sure that
Dentisgnacco could refer to a dangerous monster because of its suffix that may suggest a tender
side in this creatures personality.

As far as the subtitle is concerned, we should ponder on the possible translations for fits. Old
English the word for divisions of a poem is fitts, but this term has several meanings, so the choice
was not easy at all. However, if we consider the entire poem is considered being an agony, it would
be easier to find among many solutions the idea of something which is painful, finding the medical
connotation of fit ( i.d. idea of fits of madness). I preferred Lamento instead of Orefices
Rantolo for translating Fits because in the end I personally found it much more poetic.

Then, we can point out some differences in the structure of the poem:

ORIGINAL TEXT
"Just the place for a Snark!" the Bellman cried,
As he landed his crew with care;
Supporting each man on the top of the tide
By a finger entwined in his hair.
MY ATTEMPT
Ecco il posto per uno Squapente! url il Campanaro,
quando fece sbarcare la sua intera ciurma con premura;
 portando ogni uomo nel pien della marea al riparo
Con dita attorcigliate nella sua capigliatura.
OREFICES TRANSLATION
Ecco un posto da Squalli! il Capitano
scampanell, con cura assai profonda
sbarcando la sua ciurma: e con un dito
per la chioma tenea ciascun sullonda.

My attitude towards this poem was to fully respect form and the rhyme pattern (abab) in particular.
Instead of privileging rhymes, Orefice preferred using traditional line of Italian literature, that is
endecasillabo. Nowadays scholars may consider this verse being old-fashioned for this kind of
translation where readability is warranted by rhythm. This does not make Orefices text usable by
children who might not prefer the exaggerated amount of truncated words. In his version, the
second line rhymes with the fourth line. However, this gives the impression of interrupting the
galloping rhythm of Carrolls poem, that in origin had the function to facilitate the reading of this
poem which has echoes of epics with many old-fashioned or archaic expressions (e.g. Tis, hark, )
Moreover, this choice makes the reading harder and we should never forget that formally it is aimed
to children and it is clear that of the most important things in childrens literature is the sound-
effect. For this reason, I tried to respect, whenever possible, the alliterations, anaphors,
enjambments, internal rhymes. As far as internal rhymes are concerned:

MY ATTEMPT
Ma il pericolo era passato- per lo meno lequipaggio approdato,
Con i loro bauli, borse e attrezzatura:
Eppure, dando uno sguardo, la ciurma non era felice del traguardo,
Il quale consisteva in dirupi e fenditure.
OREFICES VERSION
Passato ogni periglio, a terra alne
scesi con casse, attaccapanni e tende
piacque poco alla ciurma il panorama,
ove rocce incombevano tremende
It is also noticeable that Orefices lines are shorter. I preferred being fully respectful of the form.
This poem tells a story in verse, so I did not want to manipulate the text just to preserve the
meaning giving the appearance of having made a synthetic version of a poem.

Now we have entered the text, it is possible to comment the characters. The crew is composed by
ten elements, whose names begin with the letter B. These are: Bellman, Bonnet-maker, Boots,
Barrister, Broker, Billiard-marker, Banker, Beaver, Baker, Butcher. Accordingly, it is possible to
notice different approaches in translating them:

MY ATTEMPT OREFICES VERSION

Campanaro Capitano
Cappellaio Cappellaio
Calzolaio Lustrascarpe
Curiale Legale/ Avvocato
Cambiavalute Sensale/Mezzano
Cassiere Banchiere
Castoro Castoro
Cuoco Fornaio
Carnezziere Beccaio
Contapunti Biscazziere

Adriano Orefice did not chose to respect Carrolls choice to use the same letter for the characters.
Admittedly, the translation of these names, created some problems. However, after some researches
it would have been possible to slightly manoeuvre the meaning of their names (corresponding
effectively to their professions). For example, dictionaries show that Curiale is an old-fashioned
expression for the Italian avvocato or that carnezziere is a regional variety of macellaio, just
like beccaio, but it is perfect because it starts with the letter C we need to recreate the same
effect. Unfortunately, this led me to change Bakers job because, a shift I considered unavoidable.
In the thirteenth stanza, it is noticeable that my intention was to conserve the repetition of the same
letter, and to do that, I substituted Baker and Bride-cake with Cuoco and Crostate. The
most problematic was the Broker. I firstly opted for consulente but I felt obliged to substitute it
because I thought it could create confusion considering that in Italian (and it depends on the
context) we use both for Broker and Barrister. It is also possible to highlight that Bellman was
differently conceived by many translators. As a matter of fact, dictionaries usually translate it with
araldo, garzone, fattorino and this way it had been used it in many translations of this poem,
although it clearly refers to the sea/sailing imaginary. Differently from Orefice, I would also use
Campanaro because in the text there is a constant presence of the bell, which eight beats dictated
life on ships, eight like the fits. A detail which could have been remarked by a cultivated person
reading this poem to its children.

As far as names are concerned, I would like also to draw attention to one line:

ORIGINAL TEXT
Some are Boojums" The Bellman broke off in alarm,
MY ATTEMPT
Che alcuni sono dei Boojums- Il Campanaro interruppe nello spavento,
OREFICES VERSIONE
v lo Squallo-Babu... Tacque, qui giunto,

As we can notice, Orefice translated Boojums with Squallo-Babu, creating a compound name
referring to the dogs barking. Boojom is a fantastic creature whose name is made by
onomatopoeias probably recalling to boo and the feeling of scare. I decided to use the same word,
opting this way for foreignization. In the first place, In Italian we use the same onomatopoeia, more,
nowadays children are used to foreign words, above all with English language, because of school,
television and internet. This is a clear demonstration that foreignization and domestication can
coexist without disturbing coherence of the translated text, because they both aim to gain the
equivalent effect.

Similarly, I would never have thought about substituting words like muffins, grog, pound
which can be easily understandable or found in dictionaries. Their loss would also be a loss of
cultural references, of the Englishness that beautifully colours this poem. This may lead to reflect
on Orefices choice of substituting muffins with crostini. Furthermore, It is also interesting
taking into consideration the translation of the unusual bird JubJub. I would translate it
Giugiuggiolo in order to recreate the same resemblance the English neologism make with the
fruit. Carroll was a mathematician and he often played redoubling syllables. Orefice instead opted
for Giucco saying in his footnotes that he borrowed this name from another translator. In order to
make a text accessible to a public, a strategy would be borrowing terms to which readers are
accustomed to, so a strategical choice would be taking the word used by Tim Burton in the filmic
adaptation Ciciaci. Moreover, Giucco may be misleading because in Italian it has its own
meaning, being a traditional character of Italian folkloristic novels and known for its stupidity. If
we focus our attention on other misleading elements, we may consider some expressions as half-
mad or incredible dunce translated by Orefice with idiota patentato and mezzo demente. I
considered these options being too strong for a younger audience, or even too offensive. For this
reason, as far as the former is concerned, I opted for somaro wich is the equivalent form of
dunce, and for the latter impazzire.

Afterwards, we can point out a culture-bound element:

ORIGINAL TEXT MY ATTEMPT OREFICES VERSION

With a flavour of Will-o'-the- Dal sapore dei Fuochi di con un tocco nale da folletto.
wisp. Elmo.

The English expression may create some problems to the translators. It is a metaphoric expression
referring to atmospheric lights, which may be translated into Italian with fuoco fatuo.
Furthermore, it would be possible to explain its historical and cultural original references in the
footnotes.4 This, unfortunately, would represent the loss of the word-game between the metaphoric
expression and the cultural element. My suggestion is to substitute it with an Italian similar
expression, which is possible thanks to an accurate and in-depth research into Italian culture, in
order to discover that many regional expressions do really exist: chiaro-dei-fichi-di-mora, folletti
del lumicino, luce burlona, cularsi and many others.5

CONCLUSIONS
One of the main problems in translating poetry is trying to be as faithful as possible in representing
both form and content in the TL. But the poem taken as an example belongs to nonsense and

4 Translators defeat according to Umbeto Eco

5 <http://www.itacomm.net/el/2001_Stilo.pdf>
children literature. Additionally, the paper tried to illustrate how translating may become trickier (or
even funnier) when in poetry humour and puns are involved. Not only, the question was to ponder
on to such an extent can a translator be faithful to the SL, when the language itself responds to
illogic criterions of nonsense. The translation always depends on personal choices. I tried to
produce an accurate version trying to be an equal mediator not only between two languages and
cultures and between the reader and the audience, but also between original text and the a new one.

A perfect translation never existed because there is no perfect correspondence between two different
languages. Costance West states: Whoever takes upon himself to translate contracts a debt; to
discharge it, he must pay not with the same money, but the same sum. 6 Indeed, to translate means
to betray the form, but it is also necessary for communicative purpose. What we could add to Wests
statement, is that the cost of this debt is certainly high, and as Steiner claimed, the text will always
be revealing its sufferance in having unavoidably lost one of its features. 7 Finally, I hope my
analysis left the idea that it is possible to combine two different universes in order to respect a
foreign work and its author, assuming Walter Benjamins point of view: The basic error of the
translator is that he preserves the state in which his own language happens to be instead of
allowing his language to be powerfully affected by the foreign tongue. He must expand and deepen
8
his language by means of foreign language.

6Nida, E. Principles of correspondence, in: The Translation Studies Reader. Ed. Venuti, Lawrence. Routledge. 2000.
7 Berman A., La traduction et la lettre ou lauberge du lointain, ditions du seuil, 1999.
8 https://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~chaoran/essays/steiner.html