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XitlaliGomez-Williams
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 Gomez-Williams 1

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TableofContents
1)TableofContents
2-3)Autobiography
4-6)ThingsFallApartEssay
7-8)IdentityPoem
9-11)GodHelptheChildEssay
12-15)AlwaysRunningEssay
16)MLAWorksCitedforLGBTHistoryProject
17-19)TimedWriteEssay
20-22)EndoftheYearReflection
23)MyHeritagePoem
24-25)WithoutaCluePoem
26-27)NoHomelandPoem
28-29)YouWillnotDefineMePoem
30-32)TheCollapseofAncientRomeEssay
33-34)HowGenderAffectsusEssay
35-36)ELA8thGradeReflectionEssay
37-40)MyLoveforReadingEssay
41-42)SelfOppressionEssay
43-44)TheCagingandUncagingofMayaAngelouEssay

 Gomez-Williams 2

2 September 2016

My Autobiography

My name is James Xitlali Anais Gomez-Williams, but I mostly go by Lali or Xitlali. I

was born in San Francisco, California, but have been raised in Oakland for most of my life. My

birthday is on January 13, 2001. I am a capricorn, which can explain some parts of my

personality, like me being stubborn. For fun, I like to play the bass, and I love drawing even if it

is not one of my strengths. I also like watching movies, like X-men and the Star Wars franchise

happen to be some of my favorites. I really, really love to sleep, too.

My ethnic identities are African-American and Mexican. My mom is from Jalisco,

Mexico, while my dad is from Washington D.C., so I am mixed. A stereotype that people might

assume of me is that because I am Mexican is that Mexicans are stealing American jobs, which,

when you think about it, is false because many Mexican immigrants do the jobs that no one else

wants, AND California used to be Mexican land. There are many other stereotypes about

different parts of who I am, but I feel that with Donald Trump running for president, and with all

the horrible things hes said about Mexicans, this might be the most relevant. This stereotype

comes from people who are xenophobic, and are just generally afraid of what's different. One

way to to disrupt this single story is to stop embracing and accepting stereotypes without

question, and to start questioning them.

 Gomez-Williams 3

One of the most obvious parts of my identity is that I am Black. A big assumption about

this is that I am just a light skinned African-American, or that I am mixed with white, which is

not the part I have a problem with. The part I have a problem is when I tell people I am actually

mixed with Mexican, and they doubt me and question my identity while they put me through

various tests to see if I am telling the truth. When they realize I am telling the truth, theyre still

skeptical which hurts. Something I would tell people when they look at me and think this is to

not judge a book by its cover, and theres more to the story that meets the eye.

Hearing Adichies speech did not necessarily change my perspective, because I basically

think the same way as her when it comes to racism and sexism, and have for awhile. Some of her

speech, We Should All be Feminists was relatable to things I have experienced. For example,

when Adichies friend Okuloma called her a feminist in a bad way - I have also dealt with that.

I have had friends who call feminists feminazis. Off the bat, it is very offensive to compare

anything to Hitler and the Nazis, especially when feminism is just equality for women, not the

death and annihilation of millions of people. They do not like it when I argue with them or call

myself a feminist, as if I was saying anything offensive and they werent just comparing justice

and equality to Hitler.

 Gomez-Williams 4

21 October 2016

Into The Arms of Christianity

The fear of failure is something very common. In the book Things Fall Apart by Chinua

Achebe, a man named Okonkwo also has this fear. In Umuofia, where the book takes place,

Okonkwos father was unsuccessful, and when he died, he died with no status and nothing to

leave his son. Okonkwo does not want to be considered weak like his father, so he built a name

for himself and his family, and is considered a great warrior. Okonkwo had many children and

his eldest sons name is Nwoye. Nwoye has never been the kind of son Okonkwo wants, as he

sees his father in Nwoye. Okonkwo sees his son as lazy because he does not want to work, and is

effeminate, similar to how Okonkwos father had been. Okonkwos constant pressure on his

son to be perfect and the allure of a new religion lead Nwoye to convert to Christianity.

Nwoyes experiences with his father, Okonkwo, were often negative because Okonkwo

sets goals that his son is unable to reach. It greatly affects his relationship with son who feels that

he does not have room to be himself around his father. The author states Okonkwos first son,

Nwoye, was then twelve years old but was already causing his father great anxiety for his

incipient laziness. At any rate, that was how it looked to his father, and he sought to correct him

by constant nagging and beating. And so Nwoye was developing into a sad faced youth (13).

This demonstrates that their relationship is forceful and violent, which discourages Nwoye from
 Gomez-Williams 5

doing anything that he enjoys so that his father will not beat him. Nwoyes negative experiences

with Okonkwo are part of the reason Nwoye converts to Christianity.

The death of Ikemefuna at the hand of Okonkwo further ruins the relationship between

Nwoye and Okonkwo. Ikemefuna was a boy who had been captured from a rival village and

ordered to live with Okonkwo and his family. During his stay, Ikemefuna and Nwoye grew very

close and they quickly became best friends. Three years after his initial capture, Ikemefuna was

ordered to death by the Oracle of Umuofia. Okonkwo had been asked not to participate in the

killing, but for fear of being considered a woman, weak and less than a man, Okonkwo kills

Ikemefuna with his machete. Chinua Achebe writes, Nwoye knew that Ikemefuna had been

killed, and something seemed to give way inside him, like the snapping of a tightened bow. He

did not cry. He just hung limp... Then something had given way inside him descended on him

again, this feeling, when his father walked in, that night after killing Ikemefuna. (61) This quote

reveals that after Ikemefunas death, Nwoye begins to feel empty. Ikemefuna had made Nwoye

behave more like Okonkwos desired son. He did more manly things, and stopped being lazy

while Ikemefuna was alive. When Ikemefuna dies, Nwoye starts to resent his father, and reverts

back to his old ways of being lazy and having no interest in manly things, such as farming and

harvesting yams. Ikemefunas death put a strain on Okonkwo and Nwoyes relationship.

Certain aspects of Igbo culture upset Nwoye. For example, when an Igbo woman gives

birth to twins, they are considered evil and are left in the forest to die. When Nwoye starts to

question why his culture does this, it opens up an opportunity for him to learn about Christianity

and, ultimately, convert to the new religion. In this part of the novel, Nwoye is just hearing twins

crying in the woods for the first time. The author writes, They were returning home with
 Gomez-Williams 6

baskets of yams from a distant farm across the stream when they heard the voice of an infant

crying in the thick forest. A sudden hush had fallen on the women, who had been talking, and

they had quickened their steps. Nwoye had heard that twins were put in earthenware pots and

thrown away in the forest, but he had never yet come across them. A vague chill had descended

on him and his head had seemed to swell, like a solitary walker at night who passes an evil spirit

on the way. (61) This quote reveals that because of the mistreatment of twins, Nwoye begins to

disassociate with his native culture. As things happen that Nwoye does not agree with, Nwoye is

pushed farther away from his native culture and family. When Christianity is introduced, Nwoye

feels drawn to the religion because they disagree with Nwoyes culture in the same way as he

does. Christianity is a new option that Nwoye had never had before, and now that it is offered,

Nwoye becomes excited to convert.

Nwoyes aversion to certain aspects of his native culture and Okonkwos incessant

pressure of Nwoye to be the perfect son compel Nwoye to convert to Christianity. When

Okonkwo feels as though Nwoye is being lazy, he beat him. Being beat consistently had a

negative effect on Nwoye. When Ikemefuna was killed, Nwoye began to question his native

culture. Already questioning his culture, hearing the twins that were discarded in the forest

because they were considered evil assisted his decision to convert to Christianity. Okonkwos

constant pressure of his son to be perfect and the allure of a new religion lead up to Nwoye

converting to Christianity. Christianity provided a comfort for Nwoye in ways that his native

culture could not. Although Nwoye was happier, his conversion to Christianity continued to

negatively impact his relationship with his father.

 Gomez-Williams 7

31 October 2016

Like the Sun

I am like the sun

I rise everyday,

Only, now I am starting to burn out.

I try my best to stay bright

Though my mind is like a storm

With thunder and lightning clouding my thoughts

Slowly, I am starting to feel my light dim

As I dim like the sun,

I am still expected to rise with the power that once was

I cannot let it show, because I am

Depended on, like how many depend

On the sun to always be bright, a constant

I am depended on to be strong,

The emotional support for friends, and reliable

What if I dont want to? What if, for once

I don't want to be the strong one?

 Gomez-Williams 8

I want to be able to rely on others

Like the sun, I feel as if I have no choice,

But to silently suffer so those I love will not worry,

That the slightest breeze will blow me over

Putting others needs before mine is what I do,

Its fitting for me

Eventually, I will burn out. Then what will happen?

I will be a shell of the outgoing girl I once was,

And become the girl who left too soon

Just a memory that will slowly fade from your mind

Maybe then, I will be like the moon

Cold, and unappreciated for the light it does give us

Only wanted when the sun shines to bright

Unlike the moon, I will not shine come nightfall, everyday

When I am gone, it will be permanent

Rest in peace to the girl who one was.

Gone, and probably forgotten

Maybe then I will find piece,

No expectations of the sun, or coldness of the moon

The storm in my mind pacified

Free from the cage that is my body

No sun, no moon, just nothingness

 Gomez-Williams 9

Death can seem so welcoming,

An escape from a reality you will never have to return to

But then who will be the sun?

The bright rays that light my loved ones life?

Who will be the moon?

The force that keeps the tide of life in balance

How will I be sure the ones who matter most are okay?

There is no way to know

That is why I must continue to rise,

To brighten up the world

Even if I am sad, I can help insure no one else is

Help to insure no one feels forgotten

That is why I must always rise,

So others don't feel like they have to

 Gomez-Williams 10

31 October 2016

Shaping Our Lives

Imagine living in a world where your own mother wanted to kill you at birth, just because

of your dark skin complexion. In Toni Morrisons God Help the Child, that horrible world is

reality for the books main protagonist Bride. God Help the Child is written from the perspective

of several, very different characters who all experienced childhood trauma. This trauma holds

influence over how these characters build relationships with not only others, but with themselves

as they reach adulthood. Growing up, Brides mother Sweetness had never shown Bride any

conventional love or affection, the result of this is an adult Bride that has issues with attachment.

Childhood has a lasting affect on how we, as adults, communicate and interact with the world

around us.

The environment in which we are raised in impacts how we think as adults. In this

portion of the book Sweetness, Brides mother, describes how growing up she was taught that

the darker you are, the worse society treats you. The author writes, You shouldve seen my

grandmother; she passed for white and never said another word to anyone of her

children...Almost all mulatto types did that back in the day. (3) As a child, the only opinions

that shaped Sweetness perspective were taught by her parents, who distanced themselves from

the negative connotations of being black by only having light children. If Sweetness mother,

who we can assume was light, although not white passing, had her own mother disown her

because she was not white passing. We know that Sweetness grew up in an environment with a

strong presence of colorism. When Sweetness had a child, who she had quoted to say had blue

black skin, and all of the prejudice that she had learned from her family about dark people
 Gomez-Williams 11

resurfaced. On top of her daughter being so dark, Sweetness marriage crumbled because her

husband assumed she had cheated on him in order to have a child of that skin tone. So, in raising

young Bride, all of the past lessons Sweetness had learned as a child heavily influenced her

parenting style.

Traumatic events that occur in childhood often impact our adult lives, without us even

knowing. As a child, Bookers, Brides ex-boyfriends brother Adam had been kidnapped, raped,

and murdered by a serial rapist. Adam was Bookers closest sibling, so his death had a more

pronounced effect on him then on the rest of his family. Booker did not agree with how his

family mourned Adam, and after an argument with his father, Booker isolated himself from his

family. Bride went to consult the only family Booker still spoke to, his aunt, Queen, about the

root of Bookers commitment issues. Toni Morrison writes, What did they do that made him

leave? They moved on. Started to live life like it was life. He wanted them to establish a

memorial, a foundation or something in his brothers name. They werent interested. At

all...Anyhow, Adams death became his own life. I think its his only life. (147). Even if he was

not conscious of it, Booker lets his brothers death guide all of his decisions. An example of this

is when Booker left his family and broke up with Bride because of a misunderstanding caused by

his childhood trauma caused by his brothers death. He had to do everything with the mindset of

What would Adam want? when Adam would want Booker to be happy and move on with his

life.

Lack of love and affection from our parents as a child can create problems with forming

bonds with others as an adult. Bride was very rarely shown affection from Sweetness as a child.

This was due to the fact that Bride had a very dark complexion, and her mother had issues with
 Gomez-Williams 12

colorism. Sweetness treated Bride very poorly, while Bride would do anything to feel her

mothers touch, even if it was a violent slap, or a hug due to a well constructed lie. To make

Sweetness proud, Bride had lied on the stand in order to convict an innocent woman of child

molestation. When court had been let out, Sweetness had given Bride the affection she so

desperately craved. Morrison writes, Best of all was Sweetness. As we walked down the

courthouse steps she held my hand, my hand. She never did that before and it surprised me as

much as it pleased me because I always knew she didnt like touching me. I could tell. (31) The

lack of affection affected Bride in her later life. When Bride had found someone to give her

affection whenever she desired, she was very happy. When her boyfriend, Booker, had left

Bride, she becomes obsessive. She is obsessed with why he left her, and obsessed with finding

him to find out what went wrong. She is so in love with him because he would let her talk about

her past and wouldnt shy away from the crimes she had seen committed. With Booker gone,

Bride doesnt know what to do and starts to physically change back into a child, and reverts back

to insecure Lula Ann Bridewell, all because her mother did not show her affection as a child.

The experiences we face as children heavily impact our adult lives. Whether it be

prejudice within our family, the brutal death of a loved one, or the lack of affection from a

parent, childhood experiences will influence how we act towards others. The trauma we face in

childhood will always affect our adult lives, even if we try to ignore the harmful memories. Toni

Morrisons novel God Help the Child helps bring to light the severity of how childhood traumas

follow you into adulthood.

 Gomez-Williams 13

17 March 2017

Freedom for All

Many know what it is like to live in a world where what you look like and where you

come from determines the opportunities you receive. In Always Running, an autobiography by

Luis J. Rodriguez, Luis faces many types of discrimination based on his ethnic background.

Always Running begins with Rodriguez coming to the United States from Mexico as a young boy

with his family. As the story progresses, we see Luis grow up in East Los Angeles, an area

surrounded by gang violence. At twelve years old, Luis eventually joins a gang, and as he grows

older, has to make a choice if he wants to stay in a gang, or develope his learning in politics and

social justice. Always Running gives the reader a deeper look into the injustices Latinos face in

the United States, and teaches one what it is like to be a Chicano living in East L.A.

Protesting for your rights is legal, as per the first amendment, except this right is often

infringed upon for people of color. When people of color protest or engage in activist activities,

it is often misconstrued by the police, and called a riot by the media. We see this in the story,

when, as a teenager, Luis begins to get involved with To.M.A.S., a programme created to help

Mexican-American Students fight for their rights in their schools, and provides counseling in

whatever problem a student might have, in high school. Luis protests by staging walkouts, and

writing plays about Chicano injustices. In one part of the novel, Luis is involved in a protest

against the Vietnam War, called the Chicano Moratorium Against the War, a protest for

Latinos to show that they did not support the war in Vietnam. The author writes, Bodies

scurried in all directions. Through the tear gas mist, I saw shadows of children crying, women

yelling, and people lying on the grass, kicking and gouging as officers thrust black jacks into ribs
 Gomez-Williams 14

and spines...Later that night, we were piled into all black, caged buses and taken to the Los

Angeles County Jail, the largest in the country, then to juvenile hall and again to the county jail.

At one point, officers sprayed mace into the windows of the bus while we sat, chained to one

another. Our eyes and skin burned as we yelled, but no one could hear us... In the county jail,

deputies placed us in with adults - with murder, drug and rape suspects. We werent old enough

to be incarcerated there, but they didnt care this. There was an uprising in East L.A. and we

were part of it. (162) Luis is violently arrested with other boys under the age of sixteen for

participating in the protest, and thrown into jail with adults who have committed heinous crimes,

all for peacefully protesting. The people who were not arrested were still assaulted by the police,

no matter the age or gender. This example shows us how the system does not care about Latinos,

and does not dwell on who they are hurting when it comes to people of color. Even doing

something as unharmful as protesting for ones own right, this is seen as a crime if you are

brown. Though media likes to make it seem as if the Latinos are the aggressors, Always Running

helps one understand that Latinos are not the aggressors the media portrays them to be. Because

of being Latino and protesting, Luis and many others are viciously arrested. This is just one

example of the injustices Latinos in the United States face.

Even if you are respected in your home country, once you enter the United States, there

are often very little job opportunities for immigrants from non-European countries. In Mexico,

Luis father was a well respected high school teacher, but in the United States he can only find

jobs that reduce him to an Overblown janitor. In the beginning of the novel, Luis is explaining

the challenges his father faces in the workforce due to the fact that his father cannot speak fluent

English. The author writes My dad looked like a lowly peasant, a man with a hat in his hand -
 Gomez-Williams 15

apologetic. At home he was king, el jefito - the word. But here, my father turned into

somebody elses push-around. Dad should have been equals with anyone, but with such bad

English... (136) Because of his lack of English fluency, Luis father, who is equal with his

employers on an academic level, cannot do anything else but be pushed around for small

mistakes, because he is not able to communicate in the dominant language. Knowledge is power,

and it is a tool to keep only certain types of people in power, while suppressing others. If you

cannot speak English in the United States, but want a job, there are very little high-paying

options for you, even if one were in a highly respected position in their home country.

In the United States, the police are supposed to protect and serve the people. However,

for people of color, many have found that they need protection from the very people sworn to

protect them. In the novel, readers witness how Luis has been thrown in jail because of police

officers in disguise calling him and his friends racist names, and when his group went to

retaliate, they were imprisoned for attempting to fight law enforcement. In this part of the story,

Luis explains how corrupt the police force is, and how they often are the ones to start problems

in the barrio. The author writes In the barrio, the police are just another gang... Shootings,

assaults, and skirmishes between the barrios are direct results of police activity. Even drug

dealing. I know this. Everybody knows this. (72) The reason violence and gangs in barrios are

so prominent is because the police have historically acted as aggravators, and have caused

trouble in the community. The reason why the police have attempted to disrupt communities of

color is so the police can be seen as doing good and arrest people for actions caused by the

police. For example, one of the main reasons gangs even exist is because police brutality made

people feel unsafe, and people wanted a form of protection catered to their own people. It is not
 Gomez-Williams 16

always true that the police are here to protect and serve us, even when that is their job. It makes

one feel unsafe in their own skin, because they do not know if they will be the next targeted, for

something they did not ask for or can change. Police brutality is another form of oppression

Latinos face in the U.S.

Latinos in the United States face many injustices, and Always Running gives the reader a

first hand look into this reality. Even doing something perfectly legal such as protesting, is a

viable reason for Latinos to be arrested. Even if one has a highly educated position in their home

country, if they are an immigrant in the U.S. there are very little job opportunities for them.

Though the police force is supposed to protect the public, they are often seen doing the opposite

of that and harass people of color instead. Though the United States claims to be a place with

Freedom for all they only mean freedom for some, and Latinos are not included in those few.
 Gomez-Williams 17

May 22 2017

History of the Castro and Harvey Milks Legacy

Bringing People Hope: Harvey Milk and the Gay Rights Movement in America." Tavaana.

E-Collaborative for Civic Education, n.d. Web. 16 May 2017.

"The Castro | Castro History." KQED. KQED, n.d. Web. 16 May 2017.

"The Castro | Harvey Milk, Hero and Martyr." KQED. KQED, n.d. Web. 16 May 2017.

"History of The Castro." History of The Castro District San Francisco Harvey Milk Gay Lesbian

Demographics Castro. My Castro, n.d. Web. 16 May 2017.

"Official Harvey Milk Biography." Milk Foundation RSS. N.p., n.d. Web. 18 May 2017.
 Gomez-Williams 18

25 May 2017

Do You Hate Me, Or the Lie?

Regardless of opinion, sexuality determines how people perceive us. In Openly Straight,

a novel by Bill Konigsberg, Rafe Goldberg has to deal with the repercussions of being an openly

gay teenager. Though no one bullies him in his town of Boulder, Colorado, the people there still

treat him differently. When he scores a winning goal in his soccer game, he is referred to as The

gay guy what won the game! (153) Tired of being seen as nothing but his sexuality, when Rafe

moves to an all boys school in New England, he decides to keep his sexuality a secret. All goes

well until he falls in love with Ben, and discovers Ben might love him back. Until Rafe decides

to stop hiding who he is and tells the whole school hes gay, and Ben feels lied to. And in a fit of

rage, breaks it off with Rafe. Through lying about his sexuality and who he is, Rafe learns many

important lessons about how he can hurt other people.

The first lesson that Rafe learns, is that his lies hurt the people he was trying to deceive.

Lying to Ben had felt like nothing to him in the beginning. As time progressed and he got to

learn more about Ben, who quickly became Rafes best friend, lying to him made Rafe feel

terrible. When Rafe finally tells Ben the truth, and then has to deal with Ben shutting Rafe out,

he realizes this is not just something he can apologise and make up for. In this part of the novel,

Rafe is finally realising what he did to Ben really hurt him, and how Rafe is processing that. The

author writes, As much as I didnt want to, I realized he was right, and that it wasnt just a small

way in which he was right. I had been out of tune with how important I was to him, and how

much lying to him would injure him, and now I so involved in my own things that I hadnt even

thought about whether the night before finals might be a bad time for an apology (313) Rafe
 Gomez-Williams 19

had been so wrapped up in his own world, he had failed to see that Ben, being a bit of an outcast

in the popular group and in his family, valued their friendship to such a high degree. It wasnt so

much about the content of the lie, but that Ben felt the trust they once shared had been broken.

Not only does Rafe hurt people with his lie, but he drags other people into it, making

them lie for him too. In this part of the story, Rafe has just told his mother that he will not only

not be out, but pretending to be straight too. Also that she and his father will need to pretend hes

straight as well. The author writes, I just HATE this, sweetheart. Hate it. But if this is what you

want, Ill speak with your dad. Well do the best we can, I suppose. But please do not blame me

if we screw this up. Were not perfect, you know (135) Rafes parents have been so supportive

of Rafe since he came out, that they dont understand why he would want to hide who he is, and

it hurts them to see their son be ashamed of who he is. They help him as best as they can,

because they love him, but it hurts them in the process.

Lastly, the lie of who he is ruins Rafes relationships with his closest friend. Specifically,

his best friend Claire Olivia. Claire Olivia has been through everything with Rafe, and the fact

that he hadnt told her about the lie until three months into it hurt her, and temporarily ruins their

relationship. In this part of the story, the author writes about this argument. Konigsberg writes

Im not getting this. How do you take a break from who you are, Shay Shay?...Why would you

do something like this? Youre happy with who you are. I am. And Im happy with who I am

here too. Even my mom got it. She saw me, like, playing football... Fantastic she said. Go

enjoy a football game, drink a beer. Hang with your buddies. Scratch your balls. This ones not

interested. And she hung up on me (183) Hurt and upset about the fact that Rafe is lying about

who he really is, Claire Olivia feels they have nothing to talk about. Though they do make up
 Gomez-Williams 20

later in the book, their relationship is strained because not only is Rafe lying about his sexuality,

he lies about Claire Olivia being his girlfriend instead of just his best friend.

Lying about who you are can seem like a small task, but when the lie comes to light it can

be seen that people are hurt in the process. For Rafe Goldberg, from Openly Straight by Bill

Konigsberg, his lie about his sexuality hurts more than just the people he lies to. It hurts his

parents, who hate seeing their son try to bury a part of himself to fit in, and it hurts his best friend

Claire Olivia who feels she no longer knows who Rafe is. Rafe had to learn many important

lessons during the course of this book, but understanding how his lies affect more people than

just him was the most important.

 Gomez-Williams 21

June 2 2017

End of the year Reflection

English 10 has been a new experience for me. I started off this year in 2016, with my

spirits high, and optimistic about the school year ahead of me. Then Donald Trump became

president, and though my world hadnt been knocked off of its axis, it did become harder for me

to breathe. School became like a chore, and all I could worry about was my future. It didnt take

me long to recover, because my grades are very important to me and I didnt want to see them

struggle. This year, my essay writing skills have improved immensely, but Ive read less than I

have in previous years. I still read frequently, but if I read twenty books last year, I read fifteen

this year. During this school year, I have read Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe, God Help

the Child by Toni Morrison, and Always Running by Luis Rodriguez. Then, for our independent

reading time in the LGBT unit, I read Chulito by Charles Rice-Gonzalez, Juliet Takes a Breath

by Gabby Rivera, and Openly Straight by Bill Konigsberg. My favorite has been Always

Running, because I found it to be the most true, and could relate to the characters more. My least

favorite has been Things Fall Apart, because I did not like the writing style.

In English this year, we have covered many topics, from feminism and single stories, to

colorism in the Black community, the struggles people in the LGBT community face, and the

hardships of being Latino in the United States. I went in to each unit with a general knowledge of

the topic, but our LGBT unit taught me the most. Since I am light-skin black, and Latina, I

already knew about colorism and the privilege I carry for being this color, and also about how

its difficult to be Latina in the U.S. Since my mother is a feminist, I grew up learning about

feminism. I also grew up learning about the LGBT community, but only to a certain extent
 Gomez-Williams 22

because I didnt really have any LGBT family members that I knew of (I do now, but at the time

no one wanted to come out until recent times). Those struggles were there but not as present as

the struggles of being Black, Latina, and a girl. I had heard of the name Harvey Milk, and had

heard of the Stonewall riots, but never knew information about it until this unit. The LGBT unit

in English 10 has been my favorite for that reason. My least favorite unit, has been the Things

Fall Apart unit. I enjoyed learning about the Igbo culture, but the book was not for me, and made

that unit the least enjoyable for me.

My portfolio includes many of my works, from the sixth grade to this writing, which is

my most recent. It shows my growth as a writer, and how my essay and writing skills have

improved. I notice that this year started off a bit shaky for me in the essay area, and while

rereading them I can see all my mistakes and where I could have improved, but then I think that

the fact I can recognize those mistakes means I am improving with my writing. English has

always been my hardest subject, and writing essays has always been the particular area Ive

struggled with the most. Looking back on my writing also makes me cringe, because some of the

pieces that I have written make absolutely no sense. My heritage poem from the sixth grade if I

am going to be specific, is maybe the worst thing I have EVER written, so adding this poem in

here is a bit of a laugh as well as a moment to see how much I have improved in English.

I am not sure if I have a favorite thing Ive written, since after a while I start to dislike

everything I have written. My timed write essay on the book Openly Straight might be my

favorite, just because I am a slow writer and was very proud of myself for getting an essay done

in the amount of time given. It was a very stressful process, because I was so sure I would not

finish it, and if I did finish, it wouldnt be good quality. I actually ended up finishing early, am
 Gomez-Williams 23

happy with how it came out. I proved to myself that I shouldnt doubt my abilities, so that essay

means a lot to me.

If I had to change something about this year, the only thing I would change is the amount

of time I procrastinate. Procrastination has always been a big problem for me, and it affects the

quality of my work when I procrastinate to much. I still get good grades on the work, but in my

heart I know I could better. My advice for incoming 10th graders would just be to do your work

on time and youll be fine! Also to participate in socratic seminars, and make sure you

communicate with your teacher if you need any help, or an extension (not the night before its

due, days before so if they say no you can still be prepared) or just communicate about

anything in general. Teachers are understanding, and want to support you. Good luck!
 Gomez-Williams 24

February 23, 2013

MY HERITAGE POEM

A POEM BY LALI GOMEZ-WILLIAMS

5TH PERIOD

My race is Mexican, African, American.

My dad is really tall and he passed it down to me,

My mom thinks I am going to be tall as a tree

My dad used to be as fast as a cheetah, but now hes as fast as a fajita

Lions are my thing because they are from my home place

I have brown eyes that are like chocolate

I get them from my mom

Some say I have a smile that can light up the sky,

But I think it would look better on a butterfly

Africa is hot dry as a desert

Mexico is nice and they have good spice

 Gomez-Williams 25

May 30, 2017

Without A Clue
Who Am I?
I have to say I dont know
But I do know these things:
I am a mess of emotions
I wonder about my future
While I also fear for it
I want everything to be okay
But I know not everything will go my way
I constantly worry about those I love
So much that worry is my default emotion
I am always tired even when I get enough sleep,
That Im starting to fear its a deeper tiredness then that
Who am I?
I have to say I dont know
But I do know these things:
I love being treated like shit
I must, otherwise I wouldnt let people constantly treat me
As if I do not matter
And as I watch the world around me shatter
I know I have no one to blame but myself
As I pass out pieces of me
I finally realize
You actually don't care about me
Or what I have to say
If its that hard to get out of you a simple hey
Who am I?
I have to say I dont know
 Gomez-Williams 26

But I do know these things:

I am tired of always apologizing as if making mistakes is not human,
Im tired of the impossible standards that Im constantly held up to
Because when I don't uphold it,
Seeing the disappointment
On your face, is the worst thing I could ever see
Im tired of seeing the confusion on peoples faces
When I tell them I dont want to be like my family
Who all seem to be doing great things
And I am proud of them, I really am
But why cant I be my own person? Seen as an individual?
Mostly, Im just tired
Who am I?
I have to say I dont know
But I do know these things:
I love my family
As much as I talk about how they worry me and stress me,
I always complain out of a place of love
Because I cant imagine a place where I dont have the support of my family around
To pick me up when Im down
And to love me even when Im difficult
I might act as if being around them is a burden,
But I love how much we annoy each other
I know that we will always have each others backs, no matter what
Who am I?
I have to say I do not know
 Gomez-Williams 27

January 6, 2017
No homeland

Taken from our homeland

Enslaved by the white man
Our culture beaten out of us
All our belongings covered in dust,
Thousands of years of our culture began to rust
Only know what I learned in school
I don't know my culture, now Im looking a fool
Trying to do this project the best that I can
But how can I do that when I don't know my homeland?
Chosen randomly off a map,
I picked this tribe Ijaw, now theres no going back
The blood in my veins could connect me to this place
Of many people who would confuse my race
Because I am not like them, I cant be identified with one glance
Always being asked where Im from,
But how can I answer if I dont even know?
Supposed to use culturally specific words,
But the closest I can get to my culture is Google
And who even knows if thats right?
I wish the water spirits of my supposed culture could tell me
If I even belong here
When we first got this project, I thought
Gelewuh, of course I know where Im from! As if my whole culture
wasnt ripped from my hands before I was even born
My ekiyouh sank as I realized I had no place I claim as my own
I taareh when Im reminded that even if I did know where I was from,
 Gomez-Williams 28

I would never feel as if I belonged

But in a way, Im powei I wrote this poem
Because even if this place is not my ancestral home
Now I nimi of this amazing tribe,
That I would be tuwapereh to call home
 Gomez-Williams 29

March 9, 2017

You will not define me

You tell me that Im worthless
That my friends don't really like me

My parents say youre no good for me

But how can I leave you now? After weve been together since the seventh grade?

I know youre no good to me,

But at this point, youre the best part of me

Youre entangled in my thoughts,

Like an addiction, your pain makes me high

I try to fight you, but you always win in the end

You dull my existence,
Blotting out the world until the only thing I want to see are the blank walls of my room

I don't understand why you want me

Were the nights I spent crying myself to sleep appealing to you?
Do you find joy in making me hate myself?

They tell me youre only in my head

But how can that be true when you feel so real?

You tell me that no one will ever love me

That its better to be all alone consumed by your dark thoughts
Than to be rejected by somebody else

I bottle everything up inside

So no one thinks I have anything to hide

You make me lose my appetite

Till I havent eaten in days

When Im with you, I cant remember the time or date

I cant fall asleep at night,
so in the morning I have trouble keeping my eyes open
 Gomez-Williams 30

Distancing myself from the people I love most

To protect them from the pain I feel

Like a darkness growing inside me,

You consume my very being

Bringing with you the ghosts of my past,

You turn a dial, increasing my anxiety until the only way I can breathe is when Im with you

Though when you consume my thoughts,

I feel like Im drowning
The air being ripped from my lungs

Im not the only one you haunt,

But everyones experience with you is not the same

The force and pain you bring is the only comfort I have left
The only thing that makes me truly feel alive

You are an uphill battle

But I will not let you get the best of me
I will not let depression defeat me
 Gomez-Williams 31

Oct. 2, 2013

The Collapse of Ancient Rome

Will Americas leaders become too influenced by money and become more interested in it

then their citizens, like Roman leaders? My question is important because if American leaders

become too invested in money, then America would crumble. The purpose of this essay is to

explain how and why the Ancient Roman Empire collapsed. Before reading this essay, readers

should know that Ancient Rome was a large territory that quickly expanded because they

conquered many villages. Also, the Roman Empire lasted for hundreds of years because thought

was put into the structure of the government and into how Roman society would be organized.

The Roman Empire eventually fell apart. Some of the reasons that the Roman Empire

collapsed were because of military problems, problems with the economy, and political

instability.

The first issue that caused the Roman Empire to collapse is conflict with the military. An

example of this kind of conflict is when Roman soldiers started to follow orders less willingly.

As a result of this problem, Romes military got weaker, and weaker. What makes this evidence

stand out is that usually the military works closely with the government but in this case, they

started to rebel, or go against the government. As this example proves, one reason the Roman

Empire collapsed is it lost military support.

The second factor that caused the Roman Empire to collapse is issues with their economy,

the management of expenses or private affairs. An example of economic problems, is Roman

Emperors becoming more interested in money than the citizens. The government starting taxing
 Gomez-Williams 32

the citizens to increase their own private wealth. The people were not happy with this. As their

economy started to decline, the Romans started trusting their government less. This piece of

evidence is important because it shows that if people lose trust in their government, then

everything will slowly start to spiral out of control. The emperor's greed contributed to the fall of

Ancient Rome.

The third factor that caused the Ancient Roman Empire to collapse is political instability,

the characteristics of being unstable. For example, when an emperor died, it was chaos, a state of

confusion or disorder. Finding a new ruler was very difficult because there was no written law to

say who was next in line. Armies often fought for the title of emperor. Many times, private

armies decided who the new ruler would be. This conflict caused the downfall of Rome because

when fighting for control, the new leader might be the strongest, but not the smartest. There was

no justice, no process for voting, and strength overthrew everyone. That is the final reason why

the Ancient Roman Empire collapsed.

In conclusion, three reasons why the Ancient Roman Empire collapsed were military

problems, issues with the economy, and political instability. The Roman military became less

trustworthy, and disloyal. The Roman Emperors became more interested in money than in the

lives of the plebeians and patricians. At one point, Romans were not a republic and could not

vote for their leaders and had to fight each other to decide who their leader would be. This

caused political instability. These are some of the reasons why the roman empire collapsed.

Rome was once a very powerful empire. In modern times, America is a very important world

power. American leaders can learn from the collapse of the Roman Empire. In the United

States, 1% of the population are the richest, like the patricians were in Rome. The people who
 Gomez-Williams 33

are not rich, like the plebeians, are upset that they are not treated with the same amount of

respect as the rich people. If the American government doesnt listen to all the people, then

America might crumble, like the Roman Empire did. As a society, we should remember that all

people are important, no matter how much money you do, or dont have.
 Gomez-Williams 34

How Gender Affects........

An Essay By Lali Gomez- Williams

Mr.Martinez English

5th Period

June 10 2013

Imagine if you lived in a place where gender affected your everyday life. Often in life, you

are judged by your gender. In the story The Breadwinner by Arvella Whitmore, the effect of gender

is shown when a man is supposed to provide for his family. Three characters whose choices were

affected by gender are Mr. Cross, Frank, and Mrs. Willard.

The first way a character's choice is affected by gender is when Mr. Cross questions if Sarah

and her mother can pay the rent. In this part of the story Mr. Cross has come a day early for the rent,

and Sarah and her mother don't have the rent. The author writes "I 'spect you're having your troubles

like a lot of folks around here", said Mr.Cross. "The depression has been hard on everybody, but I got

bills to pay too. And I can't do it on late rent and short funds. Where's your mister? I wanna' talk to

him." "He's out of town right now" "outta town, huh?" "Still looking for work?" "Yes" "Look, he said

with your husband skippin town you're what I consider a pretty bad risk." Page 77. This quote

shows that just because Sarah and her mother are women Mr. Cross thinks that they can't pay rent.

That is how Mr. Cross questions if Sarah and her mother can pay rent without a man.

The second way a character's choice is affected by gender is when Frank does not want to

sponge off his wife and daughter. In this part of the story, Sarah and Mama are trying to convince

Frank to stay. The author writes "See? We have some money now, and all our bills are paid. But with
 Gomez-Williams 35

your help we could run the business a lot better, I'm sure." "Seems you're doin alright, and I'm sure

proud of you, said daddy. "But I don't want to sponge off my wife and daughter." "I'd feel like the

fifth wheel." Page 114. This quote shows that Frank doesn't want his wife and daughter to support

him. As this example proves, gender issues affect Frank because he doesn't want to his wife and

daughter to support him because he thinks he should be supporting them.

The third way a character's choice is affected by gender is when Mrs. Willard thinks that Sarah

doesn't want her help because she is a woman. In this part of the story, Sarah and Mrs. Willard are

having a conversation about Mr. Willard. The author writes "why Sarah, what can I do for you?" She

asked. "I'd like to talk to Mr. Williard" Her voice shook a little. "Well, if its hardware you want, said

Mrs. Willard, I know as much as he does." "We've both been in the business for twenty years." Page (

) This quote shows that Mrs. Willard feels offended because Sarah wants to talk to Mr. Willard and

not her. That is why Mrs. Willard thinks that Sarah doesn't want her help because she is a woman.

In conclusion the three characters whose choices were affected by gender are Mr. Cross, Frank,

and Mrs. Willard. In the story The BreadWinner by Arvella Whitmore the author shows choices

affected by gender when a father thinks that baking is not manly enough for him. Throughout

history men have always been thought the superior gender and should support their family. As a

society, we should remember that no gender is superior to the other and we should all be treated the

same because both men, and women have special things to add.
 Gomez-Williams 36

May 27, 2015

ELA Reflective Essay

Ill never forget the first day of school. I was so nervous about meeting new people,

that I almost went to the bathroom and cried. In highschool, I hope to become more sure of

myself, be sure of who I want to be, and what I want to do with myself. While at REALM, I have

become nicer. Before coming to REALM, I had gone to school with the same group of people

for seven years, so I wasnt sure of how to act around new people. These past three years have

Ive made new friends and learned more about the world around me.

In the 6th grade, I was worried about being judged, and not liked for how I looked and

acted. Now, I dont care as much what people think of me because I know whose opinions

matter; my own firstly, and some of my families. Its affected me in some ways more than

others, whether that be positive or negative. A negative example is that now that my peers

opinions dont mean as much to me, my family's opinions mean even more to me. That can be

bad, because my family can be very judgmental sometimes. My familys opinions used to mean

less to me,when my peers meant more to me. Its basically a tradeoff, but not a very good one.

There have been positive effects though, as Im not as self conscious as I used to be. Ive learned

how to be more sure of myself, and how to realize that my opinion is the most important of all.

Ive learned how to be less self conscious about my art as well, because its for me and myself.

Ive always known I enjoyed art, but art class has really impacted me. Im not the best at art,

but there are many styles of art out there that I want to experiment with, and Im sure Ill be

successful in one of the arts. I do love the art we learn in art class though, and its been very

enjoyable for me to learn. Going to art class has meant alot to me, because I found that it is
 Gomez-Williams 37

relaxed me, and it made me start to talk to people I wouldnt have spoken to otherwise. Art has

always been something I enjoy, but this class showed me how much I enjoy it. Its also a healthy

way to let out my emotions, and it can also pass the time when I have nothing to do. I can see

myself having a career in art, and I want to take it as many years as possibly can in high school.

High school is a bit of a concern for me, and Im not exactly sure what high school I want to

go to. I applied to two high schools, and I got into both. For one of the high schools, I got

waitlisted, and that really hurt. A week or two later, I got accepted, but the damage had been

done. I knew that hundreds of people applied to that school and were denied admission, but

somehow, it felt personal, as if to say I wasnt good enough to get in, only waitlisted. It felt like

the school was teasing me saying Youre so close, but not close enough! Now I realize it is a

little ridiculous because I wasnt even rejected from the high school, I was initially waitlisted,

but then I was accepted. It made my confidence go down, and made me start to doubt my

abilities. I know one challenge Im going to have to address in high school is that rejection is not

personal, it just means that a person met the requirements in other places that I didnt, and that I

wasnt meant to go to that school. Another challenge Ill have to face in high school is time

management. Right now, Im a procrastinator and I know that in high school, there will be no

time for that. I hope to stick to a strict planner in high school to address that. I know that Ive

grown since 6th grade, so I will definitely grow in high school.

Being in Mr. Martinezs class in the 6th grade really impacted my life. It made me see that I

have much more potential than I give myself credit for, and I can do great things. English has

always been my hardest subject, and often times I would want to quit before I finished my work.

Mr. Martinez pushed me to do my best, even better than what I thought I could do. I can do
 Gomez-Williams 38

anything I want to do, as long as I try, and Mr. Martinez helped me see that. As long as its my

personal best, it doesn't matter what grade I get. Mr .Martinez taught me all of that, and for those

lessons I will always be grateful

 Gomez-Williams 39

September 15, 2015

My love for reading

When I was younger, I loved to be read to. If my parents or sister wouldnt read to me, I

would complain until someone did. I couldnt read to myself and it was hard for me to fall

asleep without a story. My favorites were Skippyjon Jones And The Big Bones and Scat The Cat.

I would curl up in my small bed and have my parents read to me as I hoped that some magical

thing would happen that would let me go on adventures with the characters in my books. I

would be read the same stories over and over again, so eventually I started to memorize them.

After a while, I would pretend to read the stories to myself and if I hadnt memorized a certain

part of the story, I would make it up. I love to read so much is because I was constantly read to as

a kid.

When I went into first grade, I was ready to learn how to read. I didnt want to have to

rely on my parents to read to me all the time, and I wanted to know what was going on around

me, like what was on the street signs and billboards by my house. When I learned to read I was

in the second grade, I felt like my whole life had been leading up to that moment. When I first

started, I was so excited to read outloud. It didnt matter if I pronounced the words wrong, I was

just happy to be able to know thats what it said. I also expected reading to be easy, but I was

wrong.

When reading got hard or I couldnt understand the meaning of a word, I would get

extremely frustrated and want to quit. The thing was, I hated not being able to read more than

reading itself. I was upset that reading wasnt going to come easy to me, but I decided that it was

worth it. It was hard for me to find motivation to keep reading but I wanted to be good at
 Gomez-Williams 40

something, and that became my motivation. At my school we had a library and the librarian was

so nice to me and always gave me books she knew I would love. The more I read, the better I

got, and eventually became one of the best readers in my grade.

Even though I could read well, I didnt read the books everyone else did. In the third or

fourth grade, I was reading Dork Diaries while everyone else was reading Harry Potter. All of a

sudden, if you werent reading Harry Potter you werent cool, but I didnt really want to read it.

I pretended I had, but people saw through me. My sister had read the books when she was

younger, so we had the first book at my house. It was old and sort of beat up, but it didnt

matter. Eventually, I got around to reading it and discovered I actually enjoyed it. The next book

craze was the Percy Jackson series, and instead of pretending I had read it, I actually did read it

and I loved it so much that I decided to read more of the author's books. Those books are what

really got me into reading.

I was constantly reading, and would actually get in trouble for reading too much. I would

stay up later than I was supposed to, and wouldnt do homework when I had it. I love reading,

and the fact that I can get transported into the character's life makes it even better for me because

when I have my own personal problems, it's a way for me to tune out the world. Ive finally

figured out what kind of books I like to read, I prefer sad stories. The only downside is is that

Im extremely picky about the books that I read, so I don't read as often as I used to.
 Gomez-Williams 41

12 November 2015

Self Oppression

Imagine living in a world where you are told you can not achieve things because of your

race or ethnicity. For a boy named Arnold Spirit in the book The Absolutely True Diary of a

Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie, that is the case. In the story, Arnold makes the decision to

leave the reservations high school so he can get a better education. The school he chose to go to,

Reardan, is an all white school. His tribe resents his decision, calls him a traitor and ignores him.

At Reardan, he is an outcast. Throughout the book, he makes friends and learns to be at peace

with his tribe. Arnolds identity is impacted by the internal conflict of internalized oppression

and the external conflict of violence and bullying.

Arnold holds numerous negative feelings towards being Native American, because he

believes the negative stereotypes about his people. In the book, Arnold reveals that one of the

reasons hes hesitant to go to Reardan is because he feels he doesnt belong. He explains, I

didnt deserve to be there. I knew it; all these kids knew it. Indians don't deserve shit (56).

Arnold feels that because he is Native American he shouldnt have the privilege of getting a

valuable education. Arnold has the belief that white people should just get good things, but

Native Americans have to earn or deserve good things before they get them. Also, he

insinuates that everyone else thinks he does not belong, because of his race. That turns out not to

be the case. Arnold believes all the prejudice about Native American people, so much that he

feels unworthy of basic necessities like an education.

Arnold not only faces bullying at his new school, but has also been constantly harassed

on his reservation. In the story, Arnold recalls being bullied by thirty year old triplets. He states,
 Gomez-Williams 42

I fell down. One of the brothers picked me up, dusted me off, then kneed me in the balls. I fell

down again, holding my tender crotch, and tried not to creem. The Andruss brothers laughed and

walked away (21). Arnold had been harassed by the triplets before they decided to leave him

alone, but not before laughing at him. This shows blatant bullying, and despite the large age

difference, adults will still harass a child. Arnold has become so used to this treatment that he

just expects it to happen to him. Bullying has no longer become a surprise to him. In fact,

bullying has become so frequent in Arnold's life that it has sort of become part of his identity.

Bullying and internalized oppression have molded the way Arnold sees himself in the

novel. Arnold internalizes all of the negative stereotypes about Native Americans and uses it to

put himself down. Bullying made him feel isolated and as if no one liked him, and gave him low

self esteem. In todays world, bullying can affect people in such a strong way that it can drive

them to suicide. Bullying doesn't always have to be physical, it can be emotional and mental

abuse also. In the novel, the physical bullying and being ignored even made Arnold contemplate

committing suicide because he just felt that there wasn't another option.
 Gomez-Williams 43

14 April 2016

The Caging and Uncaging of Maya Angelou

No person deserves to be sexually assaulted. Sadly, in the book I Know Why the Caged

Bird Sings by Maya Angelou, we learn that Maya becomes a rape survivor at the young age of

eight. When the story begins Maya is a young girl struggling with insecurity and internalized

racism. When it ends she is sixteen years old with a feeling of hope and a newborn son. In

between, we see Maya face racism, sexual assault, the death of her assailant Mr. Freeman,

growing up with her brother and their conservative grandmother, and moving to California with

her mother. Maya Angelou is caged by the guilt of Mr. Freeman's death and is able to discover

the freedom to sing through having her son.

After being sexually assaulted, Mayas rapist is murdered and Maya feels responsible.

When a police officer comes to Mayas maternal grandmothers house to tell her of Mr.

Freemans death, Maya is recalls He was gone, and a man was dead because I lied... One lie

surely wouldnt be worth a man's death (86). The lie Maya is referring to occurs during Mr.

Freeman's trial. While on the stand she is asked if Mr. Freeman had assaulted her more than

once. Mayas response is no. Mr. Freeman only received one day in jail, and shortly after he is

released, Mayas uncles take it upon themselves to punish him and end up murdering Mr.

Freeman. Maya feels that if she would have told truth that day, and said yes, then Mr. Freeman

would have gotten a longer sentence in jail and her uncles would not have been able to harm

him. After that day Mayas guilt is so strong that she feels her words can kill and stops speaking

for five years. Maya felt very guilty for many years as a result of Mr. Freemans death.
 Gomez-Williams 44

Maya feels immense pride after giving birth to her son. She remembers how she felt

shortly after giving birth. She thinks I had a baby. He was beautiful and mine. Totally mine. No

one bought him for me. No one had helped me endure the sickly gray months (288). Maya is

proud of having a child because she feels it is an accomplishment for her and her only. Before

giving birth, many of Maya's major experiences were shared with other people. Whether it was

graduating, or living in a junkyard homeless for a month, Maya had other people around to share

those moments with her. This is an important moment in Maya's life because this is where she is

starts to feel more independent. She finally feels like her own person. Giving birth to her son

makes Maya feel as if she gets a new beginning as a mother, and that gives Maya hope.

Maya Angelou is caged by the death of Mr. Freeman, and freed by the birth of her son. In

her early life, Maya is assaulted by her mothers boyfriend Mr. Freeman. Enraged by the fact that

he got no jail time, Mayas uncles kill him. Maya carries the guilt of Mr. Freemans death for

many years, because she feels responsible for it. In her later life at sixteen she gets pregnant, and

gives birth to her son, Guy. After giving birth, she feels that her life is going to change for the

better. In today's society, rape victims all have different ways of coping with their trauma. They

dont have to close themselves off like Maya did. Some people might become depressed, harm

themselves or feel like they're to blame for their assault. There is always hope to become

uncaged. For example, Maya had her son, but others can find freedom in different ways.