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Whatisgoodwriting?

Introduction

Whenyouwritedownanaccountofyourideasforotherpeopletoread,you
havetoexplainyourselfparticularlycarefully.Youcannotmakethementalleaps
youdowhenyoutalkwithothersorthinkaboutthingsbyyourself.Thismakes
writingprobablythemostchallengingaspectofstudying.Thisunitwillhelpyou
todevelopthebasicskillsandconfidencerequiredforwritingbyexplaining
whatisinvolvedingoodwritingandwhyitissoimportant.

LearningOutcomes

Bytheendofthisunityoushould:

beabletodiscusswhywritingissoimportant;
haveanunderstandingofandbeabletousecriticallythemaincriteriaof
goodessaywriting;
beawareofthebasictechnicalandstylisticconsiderationsinvolvedin
writing.

1Theimportanceofwriting

1.1Whywrite?

Ofallaspectsofstudying,writingisprobablythemostchallenging.Thatis
becausewhenyouwritedownanaccountofyourideasforotherpeopletoread
youhavetoexplainyourselfparticularlycarefully.Youcan'tmakethemental
leapsyoudowhenyouareinconversationwithothersorthinkingabout
somethingforyourself.Tomakeyourmeaningclear,usingonlywordsona
page,youhavetoworkoutexactlywhatyouthinkaboutthesubject.Youcome
tounderstanditforyourselfintheprocessofexplainingittoothers.Sowriting
makesyoureallygrapplewithwhatyouarestudying.Inotherwords,itforces
youintoaverydeepandpowerfulkindoflearning.Thatiswhatmakesitso
demanding.Whenyouwriteyouarereallyputtingideastouse.
Inwritingyouhavedonepreviouslyyoumayhavetakeninideasfrombooks,
articles,TVandsoon.Butitisonlywhenyoucanusetheseideastosay
somethingforyourselfthatyouhavereallylearnedthem.Ideasonlybecomea
properlyfunctioningpartofyourthoughtprocesseswhenyoucancallonthem
asyoucommunicatewithotherpeople.Itisveryvaluabletodebateissueswith
otherstudentsindiscussiongroups.Butanevenmoreexactingwayofusing
ideasinargumentistodoitinwriting.

Akeypartofusingideaseffectivelyistobeabletowriteclearlyand
persuasively.Inoursocietythisisaveryvaluableskill.Itputsyouonamuch
betterfootingwithotherpeopleifyoucanpresentyourpointofviewforcefully
inwriting.Perhapsyoustartedoutonyourstudieswiththeideaonlyoflearning
moreaboutart,musicorhistory,butyoumaydiscoverthatoneofthemost
valuablethingsyougainistheabilitytowritemuchmoreeffectively.Whether
youstartwitharatherweakwritingstyleorafairlywelldevelopedone,thereis
alwaysplentyofprogresstobemade.

Sowritingtendstobeboththemostdemandingandthemostrewardingpartof
anycourseofstudy.And,becauseitcontributessomuchtowhatyoulearn,you
havetoputalotofyourtimeandenergyintoit.

1.2Whatisanessay?

Thedifferentartsandhumanitiessubjectsmaketheirownparticulardemandson
you.Youmayhavetodovariouskindsofwritingdiaries,logs,projectreports,
casestudiesorevenwritecreatively.Inthischapter,though,wearegoingto
concentrateontheessaybecausethatisbyfarthemostcommonformofwriting
inartsandhumanitiessubjects.

Thewordessayoriginallymeantanattemptortryatsomething,butnowit
usuallymeansashortpieceofwritingonaspecificsubject.Itisacompletepiece
ofwritingthatcanstandaloneitmustmakesensetothereaderinitself.You
aregivenanessaytitleorquestion,whichsetsouttheisuesyouneedtoaddress,
andawordlimitofaroundoneortwothousandwordspossiblyabitshorterto
beginwith.Youworkfromthetitle,puttingtogetheranargumentthatleadsthe
readertowardsaconclusion.Yourtutormarksyouressay,makingcommentsnot
onlyaboutwhatyouhavesaidbutalsothewayyouhavestructuredandwritten
theessay.Thesecriticismsaremeanttohelpyoudevelopbothyourgraspof
thesubjectandyourpowersofexpression.Soanessayopensupateaching
learningdialoguebetweenyouandyourteacher.Infact,itdoesstillhavesome
oftheoriginalsenseoftryingyourhandatsomething,withtheideathatyou
cangetbetteratitthroughpractice.
Yourtutorwillusuallygradeyouressaytoo,sothatyoucanseewhereyou
standinrelationtowhateverstandardsapplytoyourcourse.Thismeansthat,
overtime,youcanseewhatkindofprogressyouaremaking.However,you
shouldnotseeessaywritingsimplyassomethingtobeenduredbecauseyour
workmustbeassessed.Itisanessentialpartofthelearningprocess.Whenyou
lookbackoveracourseyouhavestudied,youwillfindthatthetopicsyouhave
writtenaboutaretheonesyouunderstandmostclearlyandrememberbest.

Keypoints

Writingessaysisaveryimportantpartofstudyingbecause:

itdeepensyourlearningofthesubjectyouarestudying;
youlearntouseideastoargueacase;
itenablesyoutoenterintoadialoguewithyourtutorthroughwhichyou
canextendandrefineyourthinking,andyourwritingskills;
itenablesyourtutortoassessyourprogress.

1.3Developingyouressaywritingability

Todevelopyourskillinwritingessaysyouneedtoaddresstwobasicquestions.

Whatdoesagoodessaylooklike?
Howdoyousetaboutproducingone?

Wewilllookatthefirstofthesequestionsinthischapterandthesecondinthe
next.

Readingguide

Thereisalottothinkaboutinthisunit,particularlyifyouworkcarefully
throughalltheexamplesandactivities,whicharemainlyinsection2.Isuggest
youtaketheunitinfivestages:

1. Uptotheendofsection2.1
2. Section2.2
3. Section2.3
4. Sections2.4and2.5
5. Sections3and4.

Alternatively,simplystopreadingcloselywhenyoufeelyouhavegonefar
enoughforyourpresentneeds.Justskimthroughtherestoftheunitlookingat
theboxes.Youcancomebacktoitatlaterpointsinyourstudieswhenyouare
readytoworkonnewaspectsofyourwriting.Learningaboutgoodwritingisnot
thekindofthingyoucandoinonego.Itissomethingweallneedtokeep
workingat.

2Whatdoesanessaylooklike?

Alackofinsight?

Oneofthecuriousthingsaboutlearningtowriteessaysisthatyouareseldom
offeredmuchinsightintowhatyoumightbesettingouttoproduce.Youknow
onlytoowellwhatyouressayslooklikeandwhatyourtutorsaysaboutthem,
butyoudon'tknowwhatelseyoumighthavedone.Forinstance,youhavevery
littleideawhatotherpeople'sessaysarelikeandwhatcommentstheygetback.
Perhapsyouaretoldyouressayoughttobemorestructuredorless
subjective,buthowareyousupposedtoknowwhatamorestructuredoramore
objectiveessaywouldlooklike?Yourtutorpassesjudgementonyouressayby
comparingitwithlotsofothers,whereasyouonlygettoseeyourown.

2.1Lookingatotherpeople'sessays

Oneofthebestwaysofdevelopingyouressaywritingabilityistoseehowother
studentsrespondtothesameessaytitleasyou.Itisnotthatyouwanttocopy
someoneelse'sstyle.It'sjustthatyouneedtobroadenyourunderstandingof
whatispossiblewhenyouareansweringanessayquestion.

'Selfhelp

Ifyouarestudyingwithotherstudentsyoumightarrangetomeetfromtimeto
timetoreadanddiscusseachother'sessays.Ifyoucan'tmeet,youcould
exchangeessaysbypost.Thisisnotcheating.Itisawayofgaininginsightinto
thestrengthsandweaknessesofyourownwritingbycomparingyourapproach
withotherpeople's.Anyway,youprobablywouldn'tbeabletocopytheirstyles
evenifyoutried.Andwhywouldyouwanttowhenitisyourwritingyouare
aimingtodevelop?

Theideaoflettingotherpeopleseeyourworkisabitdauntingatfirst.Your
writingfeelslikeaprivatematter,betweenyouandyourtutor.But,onceyou
taketheplunge,otherstudentscanoftenbeashelpfulasatutoringivingyou
ideasandopeningupnewpossibilities.

Thatisjustwhatwearegoingtodohere.Belowyou'llfindalinktoandarticle
calledOnthetown:womeninAugustanEnglandbyJoyceEllis,followedby
linkstotwoessaysonthesubjectofthearticle.Readthearticleandtheessays.
Youwillgetthemostfromthissectionifyouprinttheessaysout.Theessay
writerswereadultstudentsinareturntostudycourse,whoweregiventhis
task:

Writeashortessay(ofnomorethan500words)onthefollowing:

Dideighteenthcenturywomenmigratetotownsmainlybecauseofthe
attractionsofthetowns,ormainlytoescapefromlifeinthecountryside?Discuss
inthelightofJoyceEllis'sarticle.

Click'Viewdocument'toopentheJoyceEllisarticleOnthetown:Womenin
AugustanEngland(PDF,0.1MB).

Viewdocument

Click'Viewdocument'toopenthePhilip'sessayOntheTown.Womanin
AugustanEngland16801820(PDF,0.1MB).Philip'sessaywashandwritten
andcamewithanote.Partofitreads:Writingthisisalearningexperience
becauseIamstartinglateinlifetogoingbacktobereeducated.ButIfeelmore
thanwillingtoattemptthechallenge.

Viewdocument

Click'Viewdocument'toopentheHansa'sessayDideighteenthcenturywomen
migratetotownsmainlybecauseoftheattractionsofthetowns,ormainlyto
escapefromlifeinthecountryside?(PDF,0.1MB).

Viewdocument

Activity1

ReadtheessaysbyPhilipandHansawhichcanbeaccessedthroughthelinks
above.

1. Asyouread,noteanyplaceswhereyouhavedifficultygraspingthepoint,
andwriteanyotherthoughtsthatcometoyouinthemargins.Pencilin
anyalterationsyouthinkcouldusefullybemade.(Ifpossible,workon
printedcopiesoftheessays.)
2. Whenyougettotheendoftheessays,takeasheetofpaperandwritetwo
headings:StrengthsandWeaknesses.Notedownthegoodthingsabout
Philip'sessayandtheweakpoints.ThendothesameforHansa's.
3. Trytoweighupthequalityoftheseessays.Doyouthinkthatoneofthem
isbetterthantheother?(Cantheybegoodindifferentways?)Overall,do
youthinkthattheyaregoodessaysorpoorones?Howmuchofthatisto
 dowiththequalityoftheideasinthemandhowmuchtodowiththeway
theideasarepresented?
4. Finally,canyoudrawanygeneralconclusionsaboutthequalitiesagood
essayshouldhave?(Lookbackoveryouranswersto2and3above.)

Writedownyourconclusions.

Beforeyoubegin,readtheboxbelowaboutJudgingwriting.

Judgingwriting

Thisisademandingactivityanditwilltakeyousometime.Youmaynotwantto
doallofitatthisstage.However,itisworthdoing.Itwillbetimewellspent
becauseyouneedtodevelopyourabilitytoseewhatworksinwritingandwhat
doesn't.Itisnothelpfultotrytolearnformalrulesofwriting.Rather,youhave
tobecomeareasonablygoodjudgeofrealpiecesofwriting,includingyourown.
Markingotherpeople'sworkhelpsyouunderstandwhatyoushouldbeaiming
forinyourownwriting.

2.2AnalysingPhilip'sessay

Thetitle

ThefirstthingInoticedaboutPhilip'sessayisthatalthoughitbeginswithatitle
itisnottheonehewasgiven.Thisimmediatelycreatestwoproblems.

1. IfIwerePhilip'stutorIwouldfinditdifficulttoweighuphisessay
againstthechallengehewasactuallyset.
2. Thetitlehehasmadeupisnotagoodone,soitweakenshisessayfrom
theoutset.

Philip'stitledoesn'tposeaquestionforhimtoanswer.SoIbeganreading
withoutanysenseofwhatheistryingtosay.Hehasgivenhimselfabroad
theme,butnopurpose.Anessayneverasksyoujusttowritewhatyouknow
aboutthetopicitalwaysrequiresyoutopresentanargumentofsomekind.
Often,ashere,thepurposeistoansweraquestion.Otheressaytitlesmayask
youtodiscussaparticularpointofview,orcompareandcontrasttwopointsof
view.Buthoweverthetitleisworded,itisalwaysmeanttoposeaproblem
whichyouressayshouldthensetouttoargueaboutandsolve.

Philipneitherstartswithaproblemtosolve,norfinisheswithasolution,sothere
isaratheraimlessfeeltotheessay.It'sreasonablyinteresting,butitisn'tgoing
anywhereinparticular.Thismakesreadingitalotharder.Since,asareader,you
havetoprojectmeaningintothewrittenwords,ifyou'renotsurewherethe
wordsareleadingitismuchmoredifficulttofollow.Agoodessayisneverjusta
stringofsentences.Itisajourneyfromthequestioninthetitletotheanswerin
yourconclusion.

Philip'slackofclearpurposeisthebiggestweaknessofhisessay.Weseeitat
theendofthefirstparagraph,wherehethrowsinacommentaboutmodern
youngwomen.Thecommentdoesn'tmeanmuchtome,butinanycaseithas
littletodowiththetopic.Everythingyousayinanessayshouldcontributein
somewaytoansweringthequestioninthetitle.Thisisthegreatvalueofhaving
aproblemtosolveitgivesyouawayofdecidingwhattoputinandwhatto
leaveout.Italsohelpsyoutoorganisewhatyouputin,sothatitbuildsup
towardsyourconclusion.BecausePhilipdoesnothaveaclearpurpose,hedrops
instraypointsthatdon'tleadanywhere.Andinhislastparagraphheisleft
makingvagueremarksaboutwomeningeneralneedingcompanyandseeking
thingsintheirfavour(couldn'tthisbesaidaboutmentoo?).Sotheessayfizzles
out,withoutdoingjusticeeithertothethemesofEllis'sarticleortoPhilip'sown
ideas.Allofthisisquiteunderstandableinafirstessay.Butitpointsupthe
crucialimportanceofrecognisingthatanessayismeanttobeanargument.

Keypoints

Anessayshouldtaketheformofanargument.
Thisargumentshouldstartfromtheproblemposedbythequestionortitle
atthetopofyourfirstpage,anditshouldleadyourreaderthroughtoa
conclusionsetoutinthefinalparagraph.

Yetinspiteofgettingoffonthewrongfootbynotstickingtothetitle,Philip's
essayhasalotinit,aswecanseeifwepullitapart.Hereisthebasiccontentof
hisessaysetoutinnoteform.Checkthenotesquicklyagainsthisessaytoseeif
youagreethatI'vecapturedthegistofwhathesays.

ThecontentofPhilip'sessay

Paragraph1:Introductionsocialcontext

1. EllisaportraitofC18womenwhosefathers/husbandswereof
landowningclass.
2. Menwerecountryorientedexpectedwife/daughterstofitintohigh
statusrurallifestyle.
3. Womenwereunderprivileged[?],owingtotheboredomofcountrylife.
4. Contrastwithmodernwomanwhocancombinemarriage,childrenand
career.
Paragraph2:Tediumofcountrylife

1. Increasingwealthrisingstandardoflivingmoreservantswomen
moretimeforskillsextremefrustration.
2. Incountry,womencouldn'texerciseskills:
o femalesoutnumberedmales[?]
o fewopportunitiestomeet.
3. Strictrulesofsocialpropriety,veryvisibleconductimpeccableatall
times.
4. Longedforurbanlifeevenforshortspellstobeabletosocialise.

Paragraph3:Attractionsoftown

1. Townsvarietyofrespectablesocialoptions,includingactiverolein
organising.
2. Morewomentomeetexchangeviewslearnnewideas.
3. Moremeetingswithmentheatre,concertsbothsexescouldmix
respectably.
4. Inmanywaysbeneficialtowomen.

Paragraph4:Maleinterpretationofwomen'smigrationtotowns

1. Malejibesatwomen'smigrationtotowns.
2. Viewedwomenasinferiorinmanyways.
3. Sawescapefromboredomofcountryasimproper.

Paragraph5:ConclusionWomen'sneedforcompanyandamusement

1. Womenneedcompanyandescapefromboredom
2. willcontinuetoseekthingsintheirfavour.

Settingouttheessaylikethisshowsusanumberofthings.

Structure

WecanseestraightawaythatPhilip'sessayhasastructure.Eachparagraphdeals
withanewaspectofthetopicandthesequenceofparagraphshasaclearlineof
development.InthefirstparagraphPhilipsetsupthegeneralbackground;then
heexplorestherepellentsideofcountrylife,followedbytheattractivesideof
townlife;thenhenotesmaleattitudestothewomen'smigrationtotowns;andin
hisfinalparagraphhedrawsageneralconclusion.Thisisanexcellentoutline
planforashortessay.Hehasn'tentirelycarrieditoff,asweshallseeina
moment,butthereisnothingwrongwiththebasicstructure.
Keypoints

Anessayneedstobestructured.
Partlythisinvolvesorganisingthepointsyouwanttomakeintogroups,
andgivingaparagraphtoeachgroup.
Italsoinvolvesarrangingtheparagraphsintoameaningfulsequence,
leadingtowardsyourconclusion.

Arguingacase

Philipclearlyhasasensethatheismeanttobearguingacase.Perhapsthebest
bitofargumentcomesatthestartofparagraph2.Ifyoulookatthenotesyou'll
seethatIhaveusedarrowstoshowhowtheargumentworks.Hesaysthat
increasingwealthledtoarisingstandardofliving,whichmeantthatmore
servantswereemployed,whichledtowomenhavingmoretimetopolishuptheir
socialskills,butthatthisinturnledtofrustrationbecausecountrylifeno
longergavewomenenoughopportunitiestoexercisetheirskills.Thisisvery
purposefulwriting.Hedrivesusforwardthroughthelogicofhisargument.

Asparagraph2continues,Philiptellsuswhywomendidn'thavetheopportunity
toexercisetheirsocialskillsinthecountry,sayingfirstthatwomenoutnumbered
men(thoughI'mnotsurewherehegotthatfrom)andthenthatfewchancesarose
formeetingothers.Atthispointthelogicisstillclearwehavejustbeengiven
tworeasonswhyopportunitiestoexercisesocialskillswerelimited.Buthethen
movesontotheoppressivenessoftherulesofpropriety.Itisn'tobvious
whetherthatstillhastodowiththeexerciseofsocialskills.Perhapsitisadded
simplyasanothersourceofthefrustrationPhilipmentionedearlier,butifso
theconnectionisnotmade.Itreadsasjustaniteminalistofpoints,notaspart
ofaclearsequence.Thislessenstheimpactofthebuildupofthelogic.That'sa
pity,becausethelastpointisaboutwomenlongingforcitylifewheretheycould
exercisetheirskills,whichwouldhavefollowedonverynicelyfromthepoints
aboutnotbeingabletodosointhecountry.Weendtheparagraphwiththesense
thattherewereabunchofreasonswhywomenwerefedupwithcountrylife,
insteadofasharpfocusontheironyofhavingincreasinglysophisticatedskills
butdwindlingopportunitiestousethem.Justreadtheparagraphagaintoseeif
youagree.

Keypoints

Anargumentisaseriesofpointsarrangedinlogicalsequence,withlinks
madefromonepointtothenext.
Puttinginpointsthatdistractfromthemainflowoftheargument
diminishesitsimpact.
Linkingpointstogether

LookingattheflowofPhilip'sargumentasawhole,wecanseethatitgetsoffto
aweakstartitlacksatitletogiveitaclearframeworkandpurpose,andthe
openingsentencedoesnotengagethereader.

Openings

Thereisalottobesaidforbrisk,directopeningsentencesinanessay.Youneed
tosetthereader'sthoughtsoffintherightdirection,sothereisnovirtueinalot
offormalthroatclearing.Thefirstsentenceshouldgrabyourreader'sattention.
Itshouldberelatedtotheessayquestionanditshouldbedoingimportantwork
foryourargument.Butitdoesn'thavetobefancy.

Itisoftensaidthatinyourintroductionyoushouldsaywhatyouaregoingto
dointheessay(thendoitinthemiddlepartoftheessay,andthensaywhatyou
havedoneintheconclusion).Butthiskindofwritingtoaformulaistedious
todoandprettydulltoread.

Aftertheopeningsentence,thefirsttwoproperpointsinparagraph1(seemy
notes)actuallydoagoodjobofgettingthingsgoing.Unfortunately,point3does
notfollowonparticularlywellandpoint4issimplyadistraction.Yetbroadly,
oncehegetsgoing,youcanseethatinthefirsttwoparagraphsPhilipistellinga
storyabouthowandwhywomen'srolesinthecountrysidechangedovertime,
andwhatthismeanttothem.

Attheendofthesecondparagraphheconcludessothereforewomanbeganto
longfortheurbanorcitywayofliving.Thisleadsusintothenextparagraph,
andtothetopicofwomen'sroleinthetown.Hebeginsthefourthparagraphwith
Thistransitionwhichconnectsbackdirectlytowhathehassaidinthelast
sentenceofparagraph3.AndbyusingthelinkingwordNeverthelessatthe
startofthelastparagraph,Philipshowsheknowsheshouldbemakinga
connectiontheretoo,evenifhehasn'tquiteworkedouthowtopullthewhole
thingtogetherattheend.Sohehasagoodgeneralsenseoftheneedtoconnect
eachstageofhisargumentintoaflowingsequence.

ButalthoughPhiliplinksupthestagesoftheargumentwell,hedoesn'talways
organisethemainpointshewantstomakewithineachstageintoameaningful
sequence.Aswesaw,inthesecondparagraphhedoesnotmanagetoweavethe
ideaofthedemandsofproprietyintotheflowofhisotherwisepurposeful
writing.Here'showthemainpointsaboutwomen'sroleandtheirlifeinthe
countrysidemightbereorganisedintoaconnected,logicalsequence.

Lifeinthecountryside
 1. Pointsaboutrisingstandardofliving,etc.(whichPhiliphandleswell)
thesewomenlosttheirhouseholdfunction.
2. Asaresult,theyhadmoretimetodevelopaccomplishmentsandfulfila
decorativerole.
3. Butthedemandsofproprietymeanttheycouldmixonlywiththeirown
kind(unliketheirmenfolk).
4. Thisparticularpopulationwassparse.Lackoftransportandbadweather
preventedwomenfrommixingsociallyandsofulfillingtheirroleinrural
society.
5. Insteadtheywererestrictedtopastimesinandaroundtheirhomes,suchas
needlework,letterwriting,readingandwalking.

Hereaclearlineofargumentisbeingdevelopedwithinthestageoftheargument
thatdealswithlifeinthecountryside.

Keypoints

Youhavetodevelopanargumentinstagestowardsyourconclusion.
Thismeansyouhavetolinkeachstagetothenext,sothatthereadercan
followthedirectionyourargumentistaking.
And,withineachstageoftheargument,youneedtoorganiseyourmain
pointsintoalogicalsequence.

Bringinginyourownideas

Attheendofparagraph2,Philipmakeshispointaboutthebusylivesofmodern
youngwomen.(Presumablyhemeanstodrawacontrast,ratherthansuggesta
resemblance.)WhydidIsuggestthatthisisnotagoodidea?Doesn'titshow
initiativetobringinafewideasofyourown?Isessaywritingmeanttobejust
repeatingbackwhatyou'vereadinbooksandarticles?Thisisatrickyissue.
Certainlyyouaremeanttothinkaboutwhatyouwriteandtosaythingsasyou
haveworkedthemoutforyourself.Itwouldbeverydrearyindeedsimplyto
repeatbackwhatyouhaveread,andyouwouldn'tlearnmuch.Ontheotherhand,
yourthinkingismeanttobebasedontheideasandinformationyouhavebeen
readingaboutinyourstudies.Theessayisanexerciseinengagingwiththese
argumentsandideas,andtryingtoputthemtouse.Thishelpsyoutolearnin
depth.Itisalsoanexerciseinbeingdisciplinedinyourwritingsayingexactly
whatyouintendtosay,andonlywhatyoucanjustifysaying.Itisnotanopen
invitationtowritedownyourthoughtstoseewhatyourtutormakesofthem.

TherearethreeproblemswithPhilip'sattempttointroducethecomparisonwith
modernwomen.
 IfheisgoingtobringinsomethingfromoutsidetheEllisarticleheneeds
tojustifyit.Hecan'tjustdropinaremarkinpassingandexpecthisreader
toacceptitwithoutquestion.
BecausePhilip'sobservationisnotdrawnfromwhathehasreadinEllis's
article,itopensupawholenewareaitraisesquestionsaboutwhatkinds
ofgeneralisationscanbemadeaboutwomennow,whatkindsof
comparisonscanreasonablybedrawnbetweenthenandnow,andwhat
kindsofevidencemightberelevanttomakingthiscase.Hesimplydoes
nothavethespacetotackleallthis.
Inanycase,itisbesidethepoint;itisirrelevanttoanargumentaboutthe
reasonswhyeighteenthcenturywomenmigratedtotowns(thetasksetby
theoriginalquestion).

Youarenotforbiddenfrombringinginideasofyourownbutyouhavetodoso
cautiously,andalwaystakethetimetobackupyourcasesothatyourreader
doesn'tjustdismissitoutofhand.Yourreaderisonlyinterestedinwellthought
outargumentsbasedongoodauthorityorgoodevidence,notjustanythingyou
happentowanttosay.Generally,asanewcomertoasubject,itisbestto
concentrateontryingtodoanintelligentjobofworkingwiththeargumentsand
informationyouhavebeenreadingabout.Yourownoriginalityofthoughthas
plentyofopportunitytoshinethrough.

Thisevenappliestothetermsyouuse.Forexample,Philipsaysinparagraph1,
Thesewereunderprivilegedwomen.UnderprivilegedisnotatermEllis
uses,anditsoundsprettyoddgiventhatsheistalkingaboutwealthysociety
women.Privilegewaswhattheydidhave.Sociallycutoff,understimulated,
orunderemployedarealltermsthatmightmoreaccuratelybeused.Butitis
wisesttostayclosetothetermsthatauthorsuse,unlessyouknowalotaboutthe
subject.Afterall,whatgroundshasPhilipforplacingthesewomenina
particularcategoryotherthanwhathehaslearnedfromEllis?Shewillhave
chosenhertermscarefully,basedonherowndetailedknowledgeofthesubject
andonthetermsinuseamongstotherexperts.Writingessaysisalsolearningto
usethelanguageofthewritersinthefieldyouarestudying.

Keypoints

Droppingthoughtsofyourownintoyouressay,inpassing,tendstoraise
lotsofcomplicatedquestionsthatyoucannotdealwith.
Anyideasyoudobringinneedtobeexplainedandjustified.
Ifyoujustfocusonworkingwiththetermsandideasyouhavebeen
studying,yourownthoughtswillworktheirwayinanyway.Youdon't
needtomakeaspecialefforttobringinextraideasofyourown.

Arguingtoaconclusion
IfweignorethebitswherePhilipstraysoffthesubject,howwelldoeshis
argumentwork?Doeshemakeagoodcase?Well,IthinkevenPhilipwas
feelingabitdoubtfulaboutthis,sincebytheendheseemstoberunningoutof
steam.Theconclusionistame.Heobviouslyhasn'trealisedthathisclosing
sentencesneedtopulltogetherwhathehassaidearlier,andpresentananswerto
thequestioninthetitle(asgiven).Rather,heseemstobecastingaboutfor
somethinggrandsoundingtofinishoffwith,sohemakesageneralpointabout
women'sneeds.

Yet,aswesaw,thereissomequitevigorousargumentearlierintheessay.So
whatdoesitalladdupto?Thegeneralgistofhisargumentseemstobethis:

Menofthelandowningclassenjoyedcountrylifeandexpectedtheir
womenfolktofitin.
Butwomenfoundcountrylifestultifyingandfrustrating.
Townlifeofferedthemmanymoreopportunities(sotheymigratedthere,
thoughPhilipdoesn'tactuallysayso).
Themenmockedthemformigrating,orcriticisedtheirimpropriety.
Butwomenwilldowhattheyneedto.

Intheend,hepresentsthewomen'smigrationasastraightforwardclashof
interestsbetweenthemandtheirmenfolk.Theupshotisthatwomenrefusedto
bowtopressureorcriticismfromthemen,andlookedtotheirownneeds(as
womeningeneralwill).Thisisaweakconclusionbecauseitreliesonanotionof
whatwomeningeneralwilltendtodo.Noneoftherestoftheessaypresents
anyargumentsaboutwhatwomeningeneraldo,sowehavenoreasontoagree.
(Afterall,thinkingaboutdifferenttimesanddifferentsocieties,therearemany
examplesofwomenhavingfeltthemselvesmorallyorpracticallypreventedfrom
seekingwhatwasintheirfavour.)Ellisistryingtoexplainwhythesewomen,
boundintoaparticularsocietyataparticulartime,notonlylongedfortownlife
butactuallymigratedtotownsinlargenumbers.Thiscallsforamorerobust
explanationthanwhatwomeningeneraltendtodo.

Overall,then,Philip'sargumentispitchedintherightgeneralarea,butitdoes
notreallygettotheheartofthings.Nevertheless,Ithinkitisagoodattemptby
someonewhoisnewbothtoreadingthiskindofarticleandwritingthiskindof
essay.

Keypoints

Intheconcludingparagraphofyouressayyoushouldgiveadirectanswertothe
essayquestionyouhavebeenasked(orasolutiontotheproblemposedinthe
title).Itdoesnothavetobegrand,butthereshouldbeasenseofhavingreached
anending.Thejudgementsyoumakeshouldbe:
 relevantandappropriatetothequestionyouarediscussing;and
justifiedbywhatyouhavearguedearlieron.

2.3AnalysingHansa'sessay

Torefreshyourmemory,lookagainatHansa'sessayandthenotesyoumade
earlier.ThefirstthingInoticedisthatheressaystartswiththetitleshewasset.It
alsocomestoaconclusionthattriestoanswerthequestioninthetitle,sostraight
awayithassomeimportantstrengthscomparedtoPhilip's.Fromthestartshe
getsstuckintotheargument,makingapurposefulattackonthequestioninher
openingsentences.And,whileshecoversalotofthesamegroundasPhilip,she
developsastrongerlineofargumentoverallthoughnotalwaysasclearlyas
shemight.Tohelpusseeallthiswecanagainsetoutwhatshesaysinnoteform.
Quicklycheckthenotesbelowagainstheressaytoseewhetheryouthinkthey
areafairsummary.

ThecontentofHansa'sessay

Paragraph1:IntroductionroleofwomeninC18upperclasssociety

1. C18soc.expectedwomentohaveaccomplishments(piano,etc.).
2. Imageofwomenasfragile,etc.
3. Trainedforroleasembodimentsofmalestatus.

Paragraph2:Restrictionsofrurallife

Countrylifelittlescopetodisplayskills

sparsepopulationathighersociallevels
traveldifficult
tightsocialboundaries.

Paragraph3:Tediumofrurallifeattractionsoftown

1. Refinedladies'boringlifedeniedroleasestatemanagersexcluded
fromcountrypastimesreducedtoletterwriting,reading.
2. Butintownwidersocialopportunities:
o roleinsocialplanning
o opportunitytodisplayaccomplishments
o enjoysocialising.
3. Offeredwomenmuchmorescopefordisplayofaccomplishments
desireforsociability/amusementrapidexpansionoffemaleurban
population.
Paragraph4:Women'sneedtobeintownstoplayouttheroleprescribedfor
them

1. Maledominatedsocietywomen'shighlyprescribedandrestrictedrole
socialskillsrequiredofthemcouldonlybesatisfactorilyenactedand
displayedintownwheremorepeopleofsamerankgoodtransport.
2. Womenfledcountrytoescapev.tightrestrictions(boredom).

Paragraph5:Conclusion

Womennotsomuchattractedtotownorescapingfromcountrysideas
mainlytryingtofulfiltheirveryrestrictedsocialroleasfullyaspossible.

Structureandargument

ThestructureofHansa'sessayisfairlysimilartoPhilip's.However,youmay
havenoticedthatthesubjectofhersecondparagraphspillsoverintoparagraph
3.Thisimmediatelysuggestsanimprovementthefirstpartofparagraph3
couldbeputbacktotheendofparagraph2(fromThustheliveswriting
letters.).Thenshewillhaveaparagraphonthecountryfollowedbyoneonthe
town,whichwillhelpherreadertofollowthisshiftoffocusasherargument
movesforward.

NowwecanseethefivestagesofHansa'sargumentmoreclearly:

Theroleofwelltodowomen
Countrylife
Townlife
Thefutilityoftryingtoplaythesocietywomanroleinthecountry
Conclusion.

Let'sseehowshelinkstheargumenttogether.Noticethatsheintroducesthe
countrylifestageoftheargumentbyreferringbacktotheseskills;thatis,the
skillsshehasreferredtoinheropeningparagraph.Thenewparagraph3,on
townlife,beginswithHowever,.Thatsuggestsacontrastbetweenthisand
whatshehasjustbeendiscussing(countrylife).Andwhenshebeginsthefourth
paragraphwithInviewofthesomewhatprescribedrolesheisagain
referringbacktotheearlierstagewhenshediscussedthatrole.Ineffect
signalsherconclusion.Sowehaveaconnectedlineofargumenthereathread
ofmeaningrunningthroughtheessay.

Makingconnections

Linksarethewordsyouusetoshowtherelationshipbetweenwhatyouhave
justsaidandwhatyouaregoingontosay.For example:
linkwords whattheysignify

and,also,aswell youareaddingsomethingofasimilarkindtowhatyou
as havejustsaid;

but,however,
youareabouttosaysomethingdifferent;
although

because,since youaregoingtoexplainwhatyouhavejustsaid;

youaregoingtoconcludeanargumentanddrawoutits
'so,therefore
significance.

Ofcourse,therearemanymorewordsofthesekinds(includingofcourse,
whichsuggestsIdon'tthinkIneedtoexplainanyfurtherbecausenodoubtyou
gettheidea).

Yourreaderscannotseeintoyourmind.Theymaynotbeabletoseeconnections
betweenpointsthatseemperfectlyobvioustoyou.Linkwordsactassignposts
thatindicatethedirectionyourargumentistakingnext.Theyshowhowyour
readersaremeanttounderstandwhatyouareabouttosaytheyhelpyour
readersfollowyourmeaningastheyread.Soyoushouldusethemoften.

Ellis'sarticleisaverygoodexampleofhowtodothis.Sheusesmanywordsthat
showhowwhatsheissayingfollowsonfromherpreviouspoint;whetheritadds
something,qualifiesit,orcontrastswithit.Asaresult,readingherarticleseems
fairlyeffortless(fromthesecondpageatleast).That'sbecausesheisdoingthe
workofsteeringus,herreaders,throughthemeaningofhertext.

InthefourthparagraphweseeHansabringingtogetherwhatshehassaidinthe
firstthreeabouttheroleofwomen,aboutcountrylifeandabouttownlife.This
isaverygoodmove.Sheissettingherselfuptodrawherconclusion.Shewants
toarguethatwomen'sattitudestocountrylifeandtownlifearosedirectlyoutof
theirveryrestrictedroleasstatussymbolsfortheirmenfolk.Wecansummarise
whatshesaysasfollows:

1. womenwereattractedbythetowns(becausetheycouldfulfiltheirrole
betterthere);
2. womenwereescapingfromthecountryside(becausetheycouldnotfulfil
theirrolethere).

So,atthisstage,Hansa'sanswertothequestionofwhetherwomenwereattracted
orescapingappearstobeabitofboth.Buttheninherconclusionsheseemsto
contradictthat,bysayingtheywereineffectdoingneither.Whattheywere
doing,shesays,wasmainlytryingtofulfiltherolethatsocietyhadburdened
themwith.(Noticethatthismainlyiswhattheessayquestionaskshertoreach
aconclusionabout.)

Hansaissayingthatthereallyimportantissuehereiswhatwasexpectedof
womenatthattimetherolethatwasavailabletothem.Thisiswhatreally
explainswhywomenmigratedtotowns.Itwasnotessentiallyamatterof
escapingfromthecountrysidebecauseitwasdullandsoggy,norofbeing
attractedtothetownbecauseitwasmorefun.Thedeeperandmoreimportant
reasonforwomen'smigrationwassothattheycouldlivelifemorefullyasthe
womentheywereexpectedtobe.Thisbringsusmuchclosertotheheartofthe
argumentsinEllis'sarticlethanPhilip'saccountdoes.However,Hansahasn't
madehercaseveryobvious.Wehavehadtodigabittofindit.WhenIfirstread
herconclusionittookmebysurprise;itseemedcontradictory.Indeed,Ithink
thereissomethingmissingfromheressay.

Aframeofreference

Hansa,likePhilip,startsheressaybytalkingabouttheroleofwelltodowomen
atthetime.Andalsolikehim,shedoesn'tgiveusanyideawhyshedoesthat.
Whenyoureadtheessaytitleitdoesnothaveanyobviousconnectionto
women'sroles.Soweareleftabitbemused.WecanfollowwhatHansais
saying,butwedon'treallyknowwhatthepointofitis.

IfwecomparethiswithEllisherself,shebeginsbytalkingaboutadramatic
migrationofwomentothelargertownsduringtheperiod.Clearly,asocial
changeonthatsortofscaleneedsexplaining.Inotherwords,shebeginsby
showingwhythewholeissuematters.Havingestablishedthat,shesketchesout
anargumentaboutwhythewomenmigrated.Shesaysshewantstodisagree
withthesatiristsofthetimewhopresentedthesewomenasseekingfreedom
frommalecontrol;inherthirdparagraphshetellsussheisgoingtoargue
againstthesatiristsviews.Shealsooutlineswhatitissheisgoingtosay.So,by
then,wecanseebothwhatsheproposestodoandwhy.Inshort,shehassetupa
frameofreferencewithinwhichwecanunderstandthepurposeofher
argument.(Bearinmindhowimportantframeworksforthinkingareforreaders.)

ThisframeismissinginbothHansa'sandPhilip'sessays.IfHansagaveus
someideaofthescaleofthemigration,andafewpointerstothedebatesheis
engagingwith,wewouldbeabletofollowherargumentthroughtoits
conclusionmoreeasily.Forexample,shemightaddsomethinglikethistothe
endofherfirstparagraph:

Theywerealsoexpectedtoliveforlongspellsintheirfamilyhomesinthe
countryside.Whenthesewomenbegantomigratetotownsinlargenumbers,
satiristsoftheperiodpresentedthisasawilfuldesireforfreedomfrommale
controlandachancetoenjoyfrivolouspastimes.

Therearemanydifferentwaysofdoingthiskindofframesetting.Thepointis
thatnowhereinherfirstparagraphdoesHansamakealinktothetitleofthe
essay(andhencetotheconclusionsheisleadingtowards).Shehasherargument
inherhead,butshedoesn'tremembertosetupaframeofreferencewithinwhich
herargumentwillmakesensetous.Remember,anessayisacompletepieceof
writing;itmustmakesensetoreadersinitself.Soyouhavetoexplainyourself
asifthereaderissomeonewhohasnotreadthetextsyouhavebeenstudying
andhasnospecialknowledgeofthesubject.

Keypoints

Youhavetorememberthatyourreadersneedsomekindofframeofreference
foryourargument.Youneedtofindawayofsettingacontextforyourargument
atthestart,sothatyousetyourreadersthoughtsgoingintherightdirection.
Theyneedsomesenseof:

whyitisworthpayingattentiontowhatyouaresaying
whatyouarearguingagainst.

Makingjudgements

Theessaytitle,then,invitesthewritertoengageinthedebatebetweenEllisand
thesatirists.Thisinvolvescomingtosomekindofjudgementbetweenthe
argumentsonthetwosides.Aswesaw,Philipdoesnotreallycommithimself.
Insofarashemakesjudgements,theyareabouttheparallelsbetweenthe
situationofeighteenthcenturywomenandwomennow,andbetweeneighteenth
centurywomen'sactionsandthoseofwomeningeneral.Ifoundtheseviews:

irrelevant,inthattheydonotcontributetohisargumenttheydonot
connectwitheithertheofficialessaytitleorhisownmadeuptitle;
inappropriate,inthatwehavenotbeenreadingabouttheseotherwomen,
sowehavenoinformationorargumentstogooninrespondingtoPhilip's
observations.

Makingjudgements

Wemakejudgementsaboutwhatwereadallthetime.Indeed,wereadother
people'swritinginordertothinkourideasthroughmorethoroughlyandto
extendthem.Unlesswehavesomeideasofourownwecan'tmakesenseof
whatweread.Andourideasinformourjudgements.
However,whenyoupresentyourjudgementsinanessaytheyhavetobe
relevanttothequestionyouarediscussing,andappropriateintermsofthe
sourcesofinformationandauthoritativedebateavailabletoyou.Youmusttry
nottomakeassumptionsasyoudevelopyourargument.Askyourselfwhatif
myreaderdisagreeswithme?.

Hansa,ontheotherhand,doescommitherself.IntakingEllis'slineagainstthat
ofthesatirists,shebringsherownjudgementtobear.Butdoesshemanageto
presentherjudgementsrelevantlyandappropriately?Inthefirstthree
paragraphssheveryproperlykeepsherjudgementstoherselfandsticksto
outliningthewomen'sgeneralcircumstances,andtheopportunitiesavailableto
themincountryandtownrespectively.Buttheninparagraph4theglovescome
off:

Inviewofthesomewhatprescribedroleforceduponwomenintheeighteenth
centurybythemaledominatedsocietywhichformulatedsocialmores.
(underliningadded)

Hansaissayingthatthissocietywasdominatedbymen;thatmenmadethe
socialrulesand,presumably,forcedthemuponwomen.Therelationship
betweenmenandwomenatthetimeiscertainlyrelevanttotheessayquestion.
ButisitappropriateforHansatomakesuchastatementasifitisbasedonher
ownknowledgeofthefactswhenactually,ifshegotitfromanywhere,we
knowthatitwasfromEllis?Atleast,sheshouldrefertothesourceofher
information,sayingperhaps,AsweseefromEllis'sarticle,thiswasamale
dominatedsociety

ButshewouldhavedifficultydoingthatbecauseEllisdoesnotsaythisexplicitly
anywhere.Ellisdoesnotactuallyusethetermmaledominated,nordoesshe
explorethequestionofwheretherulesofcorrectfemalebehaviourcamefrom.
SoHansaisnotmakingastatementbasedonfactherethisisajudgement,
basedonherinterpretationofEllis.

WhatHansasays,then,isinappropriatefortworeasons:

1. becauseshewritesasifsheherselfhasknowledgethatshedoesnothave;
2. becauseshepresentswhatisajudgementasthoughitwerefact.

Ineffect,whatshepresentsuswithareherownassumptionsabouthow
eighteenthcenturysocietyworked.

Hansa'spersonaljudgementcomesthroughagainrightattheendoftheessay
whenshetalksaboutwomenbeingburdenedbytheirrole.Again,shepresents
thisasifitisobviousandwellestablishedthatsocietyplacedaheavyand
oppressiveloadonthesewomen.Idaresaysomeoftheirservantswouldnot
havefoundtheirwayoflifesuchaburden.So,again,thispronouncementjars.
ItfeelsasthoughwearebeingdragoonedintoseeingthingsfromHansa'spoint
ofview,withouthavingbeengivengoodreasonto.

SoalthoughHansahasbroughtinherownjudgementsinawaythatisrelevant,
shehasnotquitehandledthemappropriately.Buttheninafirstessayitisquite
anachievementtohaveengagedsowellwithEllis'sarguments.Idoubtifitwill
takeHansalongtodeveloptheabilitytopresenthercasemoreconvincingly.

Referringtoyoursources

Oneofthebestwaysofputtingtogetheraconvincingargumentistomakedirect
useofyoursourcematerialinthiscase,Ellis'sarticle.NeitherHansanorPhilip
doesquiteenoughofit.Hansadoessomeinheropeningparagraph,whenshe
referstotheparticularaccomplishmentswomenacquiredplayingthepiano,
singing,embroideringand,inthelastsentence,quotesfromEllisbriefly.Inher
secondparagraphshealsoidentifiesthedifferentpastimesmenandwomenhad
inthecountryside.(Philipdoesnoneofthesethingsinhisopeningparagraphs.)
TheyneedtomaketheEllisarticleamoretangiblepresenceintheiressays
becauseEllisisboththeauthorityfortheirargumentsandthesourceofthe
informationtheypresent.

Forinstance,wesawthatitwouldhavebeenhelpfulforHansatobeabletorely
onEllis'sauthoritywhenmountingherargumentaboutmaledomination.Had
Ellisinfactarguedthisexplicitly,HansacouldhaveusedEllis'stermsandalso
quotedherwords.InthiswayHansacouldbothhaveexplainedherselfclearly
andofferedevidenceinsupportofherargument.Shemightalsohaveillustrated
theattractionsofthetownsbyreferringtosomeofthedetailEllisprovides;
ratherthanvaguelyreferringtosocialevents,shecouldhavemadespecific
mentionofthetheatresandconcerthalls(asPhilipdoes).Thiswouldhelpusto
seewhywomenwereattractedtothetowns,andwouldnottakeupmanymore
words.

Referringtoatext

Whenyouareaskedtodiscussanessayquestioninthelightoforwith
referencetoacoursetextsuchastheEllisarticle,younotonlyhavetoexplain
theideasbutalsobringinsomeofthedetailofthetexttoillustratewhatyou
meantosay.Youalsoneedtoreferdirectlytothetexttobackuporjustifythe
mainpointsyoumake;youhavetouseexamplesandsnatchesofquotation
fromthetextasevidencetosupportyourpoints.Andyoumustalwaystakecare
tobeaccuratewhenmakingthesereferencesandquotations.

Atpresent,Philip'sandHansa'sargumentsappeartoarisetoodirectlyoutoftheir
ownknowledgeandthisisunlikelytobeconvincingtotheirreaders.Itisa
vitalpartofwritingskillinthehumanitiestobeabletoweavequotationsand
otherreferencesintoyouressays,sothatyouconveyasenseofdirect
engagementwiththetextsyouhavebeenstudying.

Keypoints

Anessayshouldstandonitsownasacompletepieceofwriting.Youcannot
assumethatyourreadershaveanyspecialknowledgeofthesubjectyouare
writingabout,northattheyhavereadthetextsyouhavebeenstudying.You
havetorefertoyoursourcematerialinorderto:

explainthepointsyoumake
illustratethem(giveexamplesofwhatyoumean)
provideevidencetosupportyourarguments(justifythem).

2.4Otheraspectsofwriting

NowwewilllookatthewayPhilipandHansawroteandpresentedtheiressays.
Didyoufindthembotheasytoread?AsregardsPhilip's,myansweris,yesand
no.Itissometimeseasybecausehehasafluentwaywithwords.Butitisoften
difficultbecausehedoesnotuseenoughpunctuationtohelpusmakesenseofhis
words,andbecauseofcertainmistakeshemakes.IfoundHansa'sessayeasierto
read.HerwritingismoretechnicallycorrectandmoreassuredthanPhilip's.ButI
thinkthatsometimesitistooformalandelaborate.

Activity2

Lookbackattheessaysandthenotesyoumadeaboutthem.Lookattheway
PhilipandHansaexpresstheirideas.Didyoupickoutanymistakesintheir
sentences,punctuationorspelling?Howimportantdoyouthinkitistospell
wordscorrectly?

Sentences

WecanseethatPhilipknowswhatasentenceisbecausehewritessome
perfectlygoodones.Forexample:

Inmanywaysgoingintourbanlifefromthecountrysidewasbeneficialto
womanoftheupperclass.

Thissentencebeginswithacapitalletterandendswithafullstop.Ithasa
subject(urbanlife)andamainverb(was).Asanysentenceis,itisaself
containedunitofmeaning.Itmakessensereadoutonitsown.Theonlything
wrongwithitisthatupperclassshouldbetwowordsratherthanone.Also,
althoughitisnotwrongtosaywoman,itsoundsoddbecausewenormallysay
women.

Butwhataboutthisone?(Readitoutloud.)

Withsocietybecomingmorewealthyitwaspossibleforthefathersandhusbands
toprovideanevenbetterstandardoflifefortheirwifesanddaughters,more
servantscouldbeprovidedtodotheworkandthisleftthewomanmoretime
thanevertodevelopthesocialskillsoftheera,butthisinturnledtoextreme
frustrationamongwomanofthatclass.

Itsoundslongandrambling.Butinfactallitneedsistwofullstopsandacouple
ofminorcorrections(towifesandwoman)toturnitintothreeprettysound
sentences,asfollows.

Withsocietybecomingmorewealthyitwaspossibleforthefathersandhusbands
toprovideanevenbetterstandardoflifefortheirwivesanddaughters.More
servantscouldbeprovidedtodotheworkandthisleftthewomenmoretime
thanevertodevelopthesocialskillsoftheera.Butthisinturnledtoextreme
frustrationamongwomenofthatclass.

Writingsentences

Everysentenceneedsaverbadoingwordand(almost)everysentence
needsasubjectapersonwho,orthingthatisdoing.Takethissentence:She
poppedthequestion.Sheisthesubject(becauseshewasdoingthepopping)
andpoppedistheverb(becausethatiswhatshewasdoing).Ifyouarenotsure
whetheryouhavewrittenasentence,asimpletestistoaskDoesithavea
subjectandaverb?inthissentenceitisthesubjectanddoeshaveisthe
verb.

Itisquitepossibletousegrammareffectivelywithoutknowingtherulesina
formalway.Manypeoplecanhearwhetherastringofwordsisasentenceor
notbecauseitsoundscompletewhenitis.Theydon'thavetostopandthink
aboutwhetheritcontainsasubjectandaverb.Ifyoufinditisn'tobvioustoyou,
evenwhenyoureadyourworkoutloud,thenyouneedtogetsomehelpwith
grammar(bygoingtoalocalclassorgettingabookaboutit).Youwillfindit
verydifficulttodevelopyourwritingstyleuntilyouhaveagoodfeelforwhata
sentenceis.

AtfirstsightitlooksasifwritinginsentencesmaybeabigproblemforPhilip.
Yethedoeshaveasenseofwhereabreakisneededbuthetendstouse
commaswhereheneedsafullstopandcapitalletter.Thesentencesarethere;he
justhasn'tmarkedthemassentences.Idoubtifheneedstoworrytoomuch
aboutthis.Withpromptingfromatutorandplentyofpracticeandespecially
throughreadinghisessaysoutloudhissensitivitytosentenceswilldevelop
spontaneously.Butthelocallibraryorbookshopwouldbeagoodplacetoask
aboutcoursesandbooksifneedbe.

Hansa'swritingismuchmoreassured.But,asIsaid,somesentencesstrikemeas
overformalandelaborate.Takethisone,forexample:

Becauseofthis,andbecauseanurbanenvironmentofferedwomensomuch
morescope,notonlytodisplaytheiraccomplishmentsbutalsotoindulgetheir
owndesireforsociability,amusementandcompanions,thefemalepopulationof
England'stownsexpandeddramatically.

Toomanypointsthatareimportantintheirownrightaresquashedintoone
sentencehere.Theconstructionisextraordinarilycomplicated:BecauseA..,and
becauseB.,notonlyC..butalsoD,EandF,thefemalepopulation..Itwould
readmoreeasilyifsheremovedthecentralpartnotonlytodisplay
amusementandcompanions.(Incidentally,shedoesnotneedtheapostrophe
afterthesincompanions.)Therewouldstillbemorethanenoughtothink
about.Also,moreemphasiswouldbeplacedonthelastpartofthesentence,
whichisactuallythemainpointofit.Asthingsstand,wearriveatthefemale
population..overburdenedandoutofbreath,asitwere.

InsentencessuchasthisHansa'smeaningissocondensedthatitgetslost.Sheis
tryingtosaytoomuch.Hersentencesareoverelaborateandhermeaningtoo
denselypacked.Ifshewrotemoredirectly,insimplersentences,hermeaning
wouldbeclearerandshecouldgivemoreemphasistothepointsthataremost
important.

Keepingitsimple

Asentenceisaselfcontainedunitofmeaning.Anessayisconstructedby
puttingtheseunitsinsequence,oneafteranother.Meaningshouldflowfromone
sentencetothenext,carryingtheargumentforward.

Ifyousometimesdonotmakepropersentences,oryoumakethemtoodenseand
complicated,yourmeaningbecomesunclear.Yourreadercannotfollowyou
becausetheflowofmeaningisinterrupted.Untilyouhavealotofexperience
youshouldwritefairlyshort,simplesentencesthatcarryyourmeaningforward
inareliableway.

Inthemain,aimtomakeonepointineachsentence.Ifasentencedeliverstwo
points,considersplittingitintwo.Areadermaywanttoagreewithonepointbut
nottheother,soitisusefultohavethemsetdownseparately.Thenyourreader
canexaminethelogicofeachonemoreeasily.

Punctuation

Someofthesentenceswehavelookedatarehardertounderstandthanthey
mightbebecausetheyarenotverywellpunctuated.Punctuationmarksarethe
stopsinasentencethatdivideitupintoparts.Theymakeiteasiertofollowthe
meaningofthewords.Forinstance,itiseasiertoreadthissentenceofPhilip'sif
weputacommaafterwealthy:

Withsocietybecomingmorewealthy,itwaspossibleforthefathersand
husbandstoprovideanevenbetterstandardoflifefortheirwivesanddaughters.

Punctuating

Punctuationisthesystemofsignalsyougivetoyourreadertoshowhowthe
grammarofthesentenceissupposedtowork.Thebasicsarethecapitalletterat
thestartofasentenceandthefullstopattheend.Youusecommastomarkoff
anysubpartsofthesentence.Other punctuation marks are:

marksapausewhichhasmoreemphasisthanacommabutlessthan
semicolon;
afullstop;alsooftenusedtodivideupitemsinalist

colon: signalsthatalististofollow

alwayscomeinpairsandgoroundanasideapointwhichisnot
brackets() partofthemainflowofasentence.Ifyoureadthrough,missing
outwhatisinthebrackets,thesentenceshouldstillmakesense

canbeusedsimilarlytobrackets,butyoucanusejustonetosignal
dash
ashifttoarelatedpoint

hyphen linkswordstogetherasaboveinsubparts

indicateslettersmissing(asindon'tand'phone);alsoindicates
apostrophe'
belongingto(asinPhilip's)

inverted alsocalledquotationmarks,thesearenecessarywhenyouwantto
commas useanotherauthor'sexactwords.Everythingbetweenthequotation
marks,includingpunctuation,shouldbeexactlyasintheoriginal
text.Ifyoudeliberatelyaddoromitsomething,youshouldsignal
thechangeswithsquarebracketsorwithanellipsis(threedotsina
 row).Forinstance,ifIweretoquoteEllis'viewthatitwasvital
that[thesewomen]conformedtocontemporarynormswhichhad
shifted...towardsandidealofdelicate,innocentandessentially
decorativewomanhoodyou'dnoticethatmyadditionofthewords
thesewomenwassignalledbysquarebrackets,whilethefew
wordsthatIdidn'tneedandsoleftoutaresignalledbytheellipsis.
Invertedcommasarealsousedtopickoutwordsforemphasis

questionmark?andexclamationmark!arefairlyobvious.Youwillveryrarely
needtouseanexclamationmarkinanessay.

Weallmakemistakesinpunctuationaswewrite.Soitisimportanttocheck
throughthefirstdraftofyouressaywiththisinmind.Whenindoubt,readthe
sentenceoutloud,perhapseveninanexaggeratedway,andlistentowhereyou
makelittlepausesasyouspeakit.Often,youneedtoputinacommaatthose
points.

Consistency

Acommonproblemwithsentencesisnotmakingallthepartsmatchup.Whatis
wrongwiththissentenceofPhilip's,forexample?

Sothereforewomanbegantolongfortheurbanorcitywayofliving,ifevenfor
ashortperiodsothattheycoulddeploytheartofsocializing

Themistakeisthatwomanshouldbefollowedbyshenotthey.Womanis
singular,whereastheyareplural.(Heshouldalsoputacommaafterperiod,
andchangeeventoonly.)Similarly,inherfourthparagraphHansarefersto
ahighrankingwomen.Youhavetomakeupyourmindwhetheryouare
talkingaboutonethingorlotsofthem.

Anotherkindofmatchingupismakingtheitemsinalistthesamekindofword.
Insteadofwritingsociability,amusementandcompanionsHansashouldsay
companionship.Thefirsttwowordsareabstractnouns,sothethirdwordinthe
listshouldalsobeanabstractnoun.Also,somewordstakepartners:notonly..
butalso,forexample,andeither..or.WhenHansawritesinherconclusion
women...wereneithermainlyattractedtothetownssheshouldaddnor
escapingfromthecountryside.

Anothercommonslipistohavetensesofverbsnotmatching.Lookatthis
sentenceofPhilip's:
Thewomenwholivedafairlycomfortablestyleoflifebelongedtoaclassof
societywherethefatherorhusbandwouldbealandowner.

Livedandbelongedareinthepasttense.SoPhilipshouldusethepasttense
oftheotherverbinthesentence;wouldhavebeen,ratherthanwouldbe.
(Incidentally,aclassofsocietyisnotaplacesoheshouldn'tsaywhere.He
shouldhavesaidinwhichthefather...)

Tenses

Thetenseofaverbindicatesthetimetheactiontakesplace.Forexample,I
laughishappeninginthepresent.Ilaughediswhathappenedinthepast,and
Iwilllaughissetinthefuture.(Thereareofcourseothertensestoo.)Themain
thingistobeconsistentinusingthem.Decidewhetheryouarediscussingthe
past,presentorfutureandthenstaythere,unlessyouhaveagoodreasonfor
makingachange.

Someofthesemayseemsmallpoints.ButIamnotnitpicking,norbeingcritical
forthesakeofit.Inconsistenciessuchasthesegetintheway.Theyslowyour
readersdownanddistractthemfromtakinginthemeaningofyoursentences.
Readingishardenough,withouthavingourattentiondivertedalongtheway.

Choosingtherightwordsandphrases

BothPhilipandHansaoccasionallyusewordsandphrasesthatdon'treallydo
thejobtheywant.Wesaw,forinstance,thatPhilipusesthewordresemblance
whenactuallyhemeanscontrast.Here are some other examples from his writing.

Moreaccurate
Philip'swords
words

Paragraph
portrayal portrait,account
1

orientatedto fittedfor

Paragraph agreateramountof
awidersociety
2 society

Paragraph
variationof varietyof
3

Paragraph
certainamountofjibes manyjibes
4
AndinHansa'ssecondparagraphI'dsayitismorecorrecttorefertothe
exerciseofskillsthantotheindulgenceofthem.

Choiceofwords

Whenyouarewritingyouhavetousethewordsthatcometoyou.Youwould
nevergetstartedifyoustoppedtoworryovereachone.However,whenyouare
readingoverwhatyouhavewrittenyoushouldcheckthatyouhaveusedwords
thatconveythemeaningyouintended.Theexactmeaningofthewordsyouuse
ismoreimportantinwritingthaninspeech.

Inthelongrunyoursensitivitytotheshadesofmeaningwordscarrywill
increase.Butasyoustudy,thebestthingtodoisjustgetonwithyourwriting
withadictionaryatyourelbow.

Writingstyle

Aswehaveseen,Hansatendstousewholeclustersofwordsandconstructions
thatareabitoverformalratherthanwrong.Sheseemstobetryingtoimpress
herreader.Forexample:

Theythereforefledfromthecountryinordertoescapetherestrictionsand
consequentboredomplaceduponthembytheverylimitedpastimesthatahigh
rankingwomenintheeighteenthcenturywaspermittedtoindulge.

Normally,wewoulduseawordsuchasallowedratherthanpermittedto
indulge,whichsoundsratherpompous.And,strictlyspeaking,weindulgein
pastimes.Also,restrictionsmaybeplaceduponpeople,butwedon'tusually
saythataboutboredom.Boredomissomethingweexperienceorsuffer.It
wouldbealtogethersimplerandmorestraightforwardtosay:

Sotheyfledfromthecountrysidetoescapetheserestrictions,andtheboredom
thatresultedfromhavingsofewpastimes.

SometimesPhilip,too,seemstobestrivingtoimpressbyusingformallanguage
insteadofsimple,directterms.Forinstance,inparagraph3hetalksabout
womenbeingabletomeetmanymoreofthefemalesexwhenhejustmeans
otherwomen.Andattheendofparagraph2hesays,sothattheycould
deploytheartofsocializingandminglingwithagreateramountofsociety,
whenitwouldbemoredirecttosaysothattheycouldputtheirsocialskillsto
use,andminglewithawidersociety.Similarly,Thistransitionwasnotwithout
acertainamountofjibesfromthemalepopulationagainstthewomenofthat
timecouldsimplybeputasSomemenmockedthesewomenformakingthe
transition.PerhapsHansaandPhilipareassumingthattheyhavetosound
academicfortheirtutors.
Ontheotherhand,Philipusesaphrasefrompopularspeechwhenhesaysthat
thesewomenhavegonedowninhistoryasexpertsatorganizingsocialevents.
Thisisdefinitelynotanacademicturnofphrasesinceitimpliesthatthereisone
historyweallagreeaboutakindofhalloffameforsociety'salltimestars.
(NotethatEllisherselfdoesnotsaythis;sheisveryprecise.Whatshesaysis
thatwomensometimestookaleadingroleinplanningcertainsocialevents
suchasracemeetings,balls,theatreperformancesandconcerts.)Phraseslike
Philip'smayseemtogiveaflourishtoyourwriting,buttheyarenotappropriate
inanacademicessay.Theyarenotpreciseenough,andtheytendtoraisemore
problemsthantheyareworth.Inanycase,aflourishisnotquitewhatyouare
after.Whatyouneedisalivelyandcompellingstylethatisatthesametime
simpleanddirect.

Butwhoexactlyareyouwritingfor?Howcanyoudevelopanappropriatestyle
andtoneofvoiceunlessyoucanpictureyourreader?

'Speakingtoyourreader

Writingisaveryspecialformofconversation.Asyouwrite,youaretalkingto
someoneyoucannotseeandwhodoesnotreply.Butyouknowheorsheis
listeningandreactingmentallytowhatyousay.Youhavetotakeallthe
responsibilityfordecidingwhatistobesaidandhow,andforsustainingthe
otherperson'sinterest.Youarealsoresponsibleforestablishingarelationship
betweenyouandthelistener.

Thisisoneofthetrickiestthingsaboutwriting.Youhavetoconveyasenseof
whoyouareassumingyourreaderisandhowyouexpectheorshetoapproach
yourwords.Youalsohavetoconveyasenseofwhoyouareclaimingtobe
fromwhatpositionyouarespeaking.Areyouspeakingasanexpertonthe
subjectofdiscussion,asawittyentertainer,asapatientexplainer,orwhat?

Therearetwoissueshere.Youhavetodevelopasenseofyouraudienceandof
therighttoneofvoiceinwhichtowrite.

1Asenseofaudience

Whoshouldyouassumeyouraudienceiswhenyouwriteanessay?Isit
someonewhoisverylearnedandcritical,orsomeonewhoknowsnothingand
couldn'tcarelessaboutthesubject?Althoughyourtutoristhepersonwho
actuallyreadsyouressay,heorsheisnotyouraudience.Thestandardadvice
is,Writefortheintelligentpersoninthestreet.Inotherwords,assumethat
yourreaderhasnotreadthebooksyouhavebeenstudying,butthatsheorheis
interestedinthequestionposedbythetitleoftheessayandiscapableofpicking
upyourargumentsquickly,providedyouspellthemoutclearly.
2Yourwritingvoice

Whoareyoutopresentyourselfas?Basicallyyouareexpectedtobeacalm
detachedobserver,pointingouttoanequal(whohappensnottobeinformedon
thissubject)someargumentsthatarerelevanttoaquestionyouareboth
interestedin(thatisthequestionintheessaytitle).Itisnoteasytofinda
comfortablewritingvoice.Itmaytakeseveralessaysbeforeyoucansettleona
satisfactoryone.Oneofthemainreasonsforgettingstuckatthestartofanessay
istryingtoworkoutwhereyouarecomingfrom.Sometimesyouhavetomake
severalshotsatyouropeningbeforeyoucanfindavoicewithwhichyoucan
proceed.

Essaypresentation

BothPhilipandHansapresentedtheiressaysneatly,withnocrossingsoutor
obviousslipsofthepenortype.Andtheymakeveryfewspellingmistakes.
Philipputswifesforwives,citysforcitiesandcarreerforcareer,andHansa
sparcityforsparsity.

Spelling

Peopleoftenworryabouthowimportantitistospellcorrectly.Doyoulose
marksforbadspelling?

Inprinciple,noyoudon't.Youshouldn'tactuallylosemarks.Butitishardfora
markernottobeinfluencedbyveryweakspelling(orgrammar,orpunctuation).
Itdetractsfromthegeneralimpressionyouressaycreates.

Ifyouarereallypooratspelling,don'tworrythatitwillpreventyoumaking
progress.Butdon'tbeentirelyrelaxedaboutiteither.Youshouldmaketheeffort
tolookwordsupinthedictionarywhenyouarenotsureaboutthem.Anditisa
goodideatomakealistofthewordsyouoftengetwrongandtrytolearnthem.
However,itisn'tworthtryingtomemorisegreatlonglistsofthem.Ingeneral,
themoreyoureadandwritethemoreyouwilldevelopasenseofwhenaword
looksrightandwhenitdoesn't.

Ifyouuseawordprocessorforyourwritingitcanbeagreathelpinimproving
yourspelling.Youjustinstructittodoaspellcheckandthenmakeapointof
lookingoutforthemistakesyoumakeregularly,sothatyoucantrytomemorise
thecorrectversions.

Itisimportanttopresentyouressaywell.Otherwise,itsuggeststhatyoudon't
careenoughaboutyourworktoreaditthroughandmakecorrectionsbefore
handingittosomeoneelsetoread.Andyourtutorisboundtofinditharderto
makesenseofwhatyouaretryingtosayiftherearetoomanymistakesinit.
Tutorsusuallymakeallowancesfortheoccasionalblunder,but,ifyouwantyour
writingtohaveitsfullimpact,youmustreaditthroughcarefullyandcorrectany
errorsthatyouspot.

Keypoints

Thewayyouwriteisasimportantaswhatyousay.Sowhenyouarewritingyou
musttryto:

useproperlyformedandmainlysimplesentences
punctuatetheminawaythatmakesyourmeaningclear
payattentiontogrammar,makingallpartsofsentencesconsistent
bepreciseabouttheparticularwordsandphrasesyouuse
addressyourreaderappropriately
presentyourworkwithcare,readingitthroughtocorrectspellingand
othermistakes.

Wehaveseenthat,althoughtherearegoodthingsinPhilip'swriting,thereare
quiteanumberofwaysitcouldbeimproved.

Activity3

Totestyourselfoutonthepointswehavetalkedabout,gobacktoPhilip's
secondparagraph,startingfromThecountrywasnoplaceandputinsome
punctuationandanyotheralterationsthatmakeitreadmoreeasily.

Hereismyattempt,withthereasonsforthechangesImadegivenbelow.(New
wordsappearinred.)

Changes

Nowinterruptstheflowofnoplacetoexercisethesenewskills,soI
movedittoearlierinthesentence.
WhenPhilipwantstoidentifywhichnewskillsheisreferringto,hecan
eithersaythesenewskills,orthenewskillstheyhadbeentaughthe
doesn'tneedboth,anditsoundsawkward.
 Startanewsentenceaftertaught.
Commaafterthingbecauseit'sapreparatoryphrasebeforethemain
sentencestarts.Noneedforatthattimebecausehehasalreadysaid
nowintheprevioussentence.Butmysquarebracketsindicatethatthis
sentenceshouldreallycomeoutaltogetherEllisdoesnotsaythis.
NewsentenceatFew;crowdsofpeopleisn'tquiterightforgatherings
ofpeopleofthisrankinsocietyorsociallycapturesitbetter.
NoneedforbutjuststartanothersentenceatMost.
Whatthedemandsofproprietyimposedonwomenwererequirements
notmeanings.Women'sinsteadoftheir,sincereadersmightbe
losingtrackofwhotheyarebynow.
NewsentenceatAnyerror.Andcouldisbetterthanwould,sincenot
everyerrormightbespotted.
NewsentenceatSo.Doesn'tneedbothsoandtherefore.Needsthe
pluralwomen.Doesn'tneedurbanandcity.Goodtoputacomma
afterliving,andafterperiodsinceifonlyforashortperiodisaside
point.

Therestwe'vealreadydiscussed.

Howdothesecomparewithyourimprovements?Itdoesn'tmatterifyoursare
different.Manyofthesechangesaremoreamatteroftasteandjudgementthan
rightandwrong.Themainpointoftheexercisewastofocusyourattentionon
thedetails.Youraimistoachievedirectness,simplicityandaniceflowtowhat
youwrite.Youwillgraduallydevelopafeelforwhatworksbestandwhen,and
yourtutorwillprobablyhaveplentyofsuggestionstomake.

2.5HowgoodarePhilip'sandHansa'sessays?

Therearenoabsolutestandardsagainstwhichthequalityofanessaycanbe
judged.Itdependsonthecourseyouarestudyingitscontentandaims,andthe
levelatwhichitispitched.Yourtutorwilltellyouhowyouressaysstandwithin
thecontextofyourcourse.Whatwecandoisoutlinethestrengthsand
weaknessesofPhilip'sandHansa'sessays.InthesecondquestionofActivity1I
askedyoutothinkaboutthisandtomakeyourownlists.Haveanotherlookat
themandseehowtheycomparewithmyjudgements.

Philip'sessay

Strengths

areasonableunderstandingofthegeneralissuesEllisdealswith
agoodbasicstructure
 somegoodsequencesofargument
apromisingfeelforlanguage
fluencyofexpression

Weaknesses

thewrongtitleandconsequentlyalackoffocus
argumentislooseknitinplacessomepointsarenotrelevant
occasionallymisrepresentsEllis
uncertaintyregardingtheoverallargument,soarrivesataweak
conclusion
poorpunctuation
thelanguageisartificialattimesstrivingforstylishness,insteadof
clarity

Overall,Philip'sessayshowsplentyofpromise.Hedevelopssomeusefulideas
andhasthemakingsofaneffectivewritingstyle.However,therearesomepoints
toworkon.IfIwerehistutorwritingtohim,thisiswhatIwouldsay.

DearPhilip,

Welldoneforgettingyourselfoverthehurdleofsendinginyourfirstessay
especiallyasit'ssuchalongtimesinceyoulastdidthiskindofwriting.The
essayshowsalotofpromise.YouobviouslyworkedhardwiththeEllisarticle
andyouhavedoneagoodsoundjobofgettingyourthoughtstogetherforthis
essay.Thestructureisverysolidand,whatismore,youhaveanicefluencyto
yourwritingwhichgivesyouagoodbasetobuildon.

Whereyouhavecomeabitadriftisinnotworkingwiththeexacttitleyouwere
set.Thismadeithardforyoutocometoastrongconclusionattheend.Also,as
youwillseefrommynotesonthescript,therearesomeplaceswhereyourline
ofargumentcouldbestrengthened.Andyouwillneedtospendabitoftime
workingonyourpunctuation,aswellasafewotherpointsofgrammarand
choiceofwords.Noneoftheseshouldpresentamajordifficultytheywill
graduallycomerightwithpractice.Justmakeahabitofreadingmymarkings
andnotescarefullyandthenworkouthowyoucanmakethingsreadmoreeasily.

Broadly,youaredoingexactlytherightthingwhichistopitchinandworkas
bestyoucanwiththeideasyouhavebeenreadingabout.Asyoukeepdoingthis
youwillfindyourstylegettingsharperandyourgriponyoursubjectmore
secure.Keepupthegoodwork.
Hansa'sessay

Hansa'sessaywouldgetahighergradethanPhilip's.But,likehis,ithasboth
strongandweakpoints.

Strengths

subtleunderstandingofEllis'sargument
excellentfocusonthequestioninthetitle
generallysoundstructure
someveryfluentwritinginplaces
plentyofattackintheopeningpaceyfirstparagraph
goodsenseofhowtodrawaconclusion

Weaknesses

oneweakpointisinherparagraphing
inplaces,languageoverformalandsentencestoodenselypacked
needstoclarifyherlineofargument(thatis,reorganisealittle)
couldpayevenmoreattentiontosignallinghowtheargumentis
developing
doesn'tquitesetuptheframeofreferencewithinwhichsheisarguing

IfIwereHansa'stutor,Iwouldwritetoherincongratulatoryandencouraging
terms.Thisisaverycreditablejobofgettingtogripswithquiteasubtlearticle
andanessaytitlewhichdemandsabitofcarefulthought.Hansahasstudiedwell
andattackedheressaywithinsightandflair.

ThiscomparisonofPhilip'sandHansa'sworkshowsthatessayscanbegoodin
differentways.Anditshowsthatwhenwemakejudgementsaboutthequalityof
anessay,weneedtothinkaboutboththequalityoftheideasinitandtheway
theseideasarepresented.Afterall,theideasonlyreallyexistintheformwe
seethemonthepage.

AsI'vesuggested,judgingoneessayagainsttheotherI'dsaythatHansa'sis
betterthanPhilip's.Thatismainlybecausesheaddressesherselftotheessay
questionshewasset,andputstogetherareasonablywellconnectedargument
thatleadstoananswertoit.Alongtheway,sheshowsthatshehasagoodgrasp
oftheideascontainedinhersourcematerial.

ReworkingHansa'sessay

NowwehavelookedatPhilip'sandHansa'sessaysinsuchdetail,whathavewe
learned?Perhapsthebestwaytoanswerthatistowriteanotherversionofthe
essay,buildingonallthethingswehavediscussed.Infact,Ihavetakenthebasic
contentofHansa'sessay,tidieditupandshuffleditaboutalittletobringouther
argumentmorestrongly.(Howeverthisisnottheonlypossiblewayof
structuringanargumentinanswertothisquestion.)Ihavealsowoveninsomeof
Ellis'sterms,andmorereferencetoherarticle,toshowwhatismeantby
referringtoyoursourcematerial.

Activity4

ReadtheversionbelowandcompareitwithHansa's.Thenlookquicklyback
throughalltheKeyPointsboxesinthisunittoseewhetherwhatwesaidshould
bedoneisachievedhere.

Click'Viewdocument'toopentherevisedessay(PDF,0.1MB).

Viewdocument

3Whatisagoodessay?

Asharperfocus

Sofar,wehavebeenanalysingessaysinapracticalway,lookingatthestrengths
andweaknessesofsomeactualexamples,ratherthanatformalrulesorabstract
ideasaboutessaywriting.Now,though,weneedtosummarise.

IsuggestthisbecauseIthinkyoualreadyhaveafairlygoodideaofwhat
effectivewritingis.Idon'tthinkthepointofaunitlikethisistotellyoumuch
thatisdevastatinglynew.Itistobringintosharperfocuswhatyouknow
already,andtohelpyouapplytheseintuitionsasyoudevelopyourownwriting.
Itisonethingtobeabletoseewhensomeoneelse'swritingisillplannedand
confusing,butquiteanothertobeabletopinpointwhyandtoavoidmakingthe
samemistakesyourself.SohaveyournotesonthefinalpartoftheActivityin
Section2.1infrontofyouandcomparethemwithminewhicharesetoutbelow.

Keypoints

Criteriaofgoodessaywriting

Whenatutorreadsyouressay,sheorhewillbeaskingthefollowingquestions.

Haveyouansweredthequestioninthetitle?
Haveyoudrawnontherelevantpartsofthecourseforthemaincontentof
youressay?
 Doyoushowagoodgraspoftheideasyouhavebeenstudyinginthe
course?
Haveyoupresentedacoherentargument?
Istheessaywritteninanobjective,analyticalway,withappropriateuseof
illustrationandevidence?
Istheessayclearlywrittenandwellpresented?

3.1Answeringthequestion

Anessaycanbegoodinalmosteveryotherwayandyetbejudgedpoorbecause
itignoresthequestioninthetitle.Strictlyspeaking,Ishouldsayitignoresthe
issuespresentedinthetitlebecausenoteveryessaytitleactuallycontainsa
question.But,infact,thereisusuallyacentralquestionunderlyinganessaytitle,
evenwhenittakestheformofaquotationfromatextfollowedbytheinstruction
Discuss.Andyouneedtoworkoutwhatthatunderlyingquestionis,because
thisprovidesasharperfocusforyouranswer.But,inanycase,itisgenerallya
goodideatoaskyourselfHaveIansweredthequestion?.That'sbecauseyou
areneverjustaskedtowriteallyouknowaboutasubject,orsimplydescribe
something.Youaresetaspecificproblemtothinkaboutinthelightofwhatyou
havebeenstudying.

Yourtaskistoargueacaseinrelationtothequestionposedinthetitle.
Everythingyousayintheessayshouldberelevanttothattask.Itisn'tenough
thatapointyoumakeisinterestingtoyou(aswesawwithHansa'sinterestin
women'soppression).Youhavetoconvinceyourreadersthatthepointhassome
bearingonthetitleandisthereforeworthyoftheirattention.

Thatiswhyitisagoodrulealwaystowritethetitleoftheessayacrossthetopof
youropeningpage.Itremindsyouwhatyouaresupposedtobedoingandwhere
yourreadersarestartingfromwhentheybeginreadingyouressay.Andyoumust
alwaysstickexactlytothetitleyouaregivennotdeviseamodifiedversionof
yourown,asPhilipdid.Atutorfacesademandingjobcommentingonand
assessingyouressay.Thejobismadepossiblebysettingitupinatightly
definedway,sothatitisclearwhathastobedonetoshowacertainlevelof
achievement.Thisisthepurposeofthetitleandthereasonyouhavetoworktoit
atalltimes.Tutorscanbequiteimpatientifyouinsistondemonstratingawhole
lotofknowledgeyouhaven'tbeenaskedfor.

3.2Drawingoncoursematerial
Unlessyouaretakingacourseincreativewriting,essaysaregenerallymeantto
helpyouconsolidatewhatyouhavebeenstudying.Youarenotaskedtoanswer
thequestioninthetitleoffthetopofyourheadnoronthebasisofsomeprior
knowledge.Youareexpectedtotaketheessayasanopportunitytoscanback
overwhatyouhavebeenreadingordoingandselectrelevantmaterialfromthat.
Thetutorwhomarksyouressaywillalreadyhaveinmindarangeofcourse
materialthatcouldbeusedinanswertothequestion.Yourabilitytomakegood,
relevantselectionsfromthatmaterialispartofwhatsheorheassesses.

Ifyoumissoutsomeoftheimportantideasandinformation,ormakethe
occasionalstrangeselection,itmaynotmatterprovidedyoumakegooduseof
otherrelevantmaterial.Butifyoutrytoanswerthequestionentirelyfrom
knowledgedrawnfromoutsidethecourse,youmayrunintotrouble.Ineffect,
whatyouaredoingisfocusingattentiononthefactthatyouhaven'tusedthe
relevantmaterialinthecourseandthenewknowledgeavailabletoyou.Also,it
isoftenverydifficultfortutorstoevaluateyouraccountofmaterialtheyarenot
familiarwith.Theyareunlikelytohavetimetoread,vieworlistentoyour
sources.So,youmayfindyoureceiveahighergradeforanessaythatisbased
oncoursematerial,evenifithasbeenputtogetherhastily,thanforoneonatopic
youthinkyouknowmuchmoreabout.

3.3Showingagoodgraspofideas

Toshowyourgraspoftheideasyouhavebeenstudyingyouhavetoexpress
themforyourself,inyourownwords.Yourtutorwillcertainlybelookingoutfor
signsthatyouunderstandthecentrallyimportantissues.Forexample,Philip
showedthatheunderstoodthesignificanceofEllis'spointaboutwomen'slossof
ahouseholdmanagementrole.Buthewasveryvagueabouttheeffectsthishad
onwomen'slivesinthecountryside,whichsuggestshehadn'treallysortedout
thatpartofhisargument.Histutorwouldseethatheneedshelpwithit.Your
tutorhastobeabletoseeyourthoughtprocessesatworkinthiswayinorderto
giveyouthekindofadviceandsupportthatwillhelpdevelopyour
understanding.Sowhatyoumustavoiddoingisusingotherpeople'swords.

Plagiarizing

Whenyouarewritinganessayyouareoftenworkingwithideasandtermsyou
arenotfamiliarwith.Thismakesitdifficultforyoutoproduceaclear,coherent
argumentandyoumaybecomeanxiousaboutwhetheryouwillgetitright.To
beonthesafeside,somestudentsaretemptedtoliftsectionsofwordsfrom
textbooksandarticlesandputthemintheiressayswithoutusingquotationmarks
oracknowledgingthesource.Inotherwords,theytrytopassthesewordsoffas
theirown.Thisisknownasplagiarism.

Tutorsareusuallyveryfamiliarwiththedifferencebetweenthewaystudents
writeandthewayexperiencedauthorswrite,andsoonnoticewhenastudent
lurchesbetweenanexpertandabeginnerstyle.Aparticulargiveawayis
whenmostofthewordsareasintheoriginalexceptforoneortwo(changedfor
purposesofcamouflage),whichstickoutlikesorethumbsbecausetheyareina
differentstyle.Anotheriswhensmoothlyflowingsectionsofwritingare
interspersedwithshort,inelegantlinkingphrases.Itseemsthatmostpeoplewrite
particularlybadlywhentheyaretryingtostitchtogethersomeoneelse'swords.
Becauseyouarenotincontrolofmakingthesenseasyouwrite,plagiarizing
actuallymakesyourwritingworse.

Thisapproachwillnotgetyougoodmarks.Indeed,whentutorsspotwhatis
goingon(whichisnotdifficult)theywilltendtoassumeyouunderstandvery
littleandmarkyoudown.Worse,youdonotdevelopyourownwritingstyle.If
youbecomelockedintothesterileandtediousbusinessofparrotingother
people'swordsratherthanexpressingthoughtsforyourself,thenyouarelikelyto
remainabeginnerforalongtime.Andyouwillnotlearnmuchabouttheideasin
thecourseeither.

Thereisonlyonewaytolearntouseideasinwritingandthatistopractise
expressingtheminyourownwords.Theymaynotcomeoutverywelltobegin
withbut,likealearnerinanyfield,youhavetobepreparedtomakemistakes
sometimes.Itisthroughlettingyourweaknessesshowthatyoulearnhowtodo
somethingaboutthem,andallowotherstohelpyoulearn.

3.4Presentingacoherentargument

Presentingacoherentargumentiscloselylinkedtoansweringthequestion.The
essenceofanessayisthatitsetsouttobeanargumentabouttheissuesraisedin
thetitle.Evenifyouhavealotofgoodmaterialinit,itwillnotbejudgeda
goodessayunlessthematerialisorganisedsothatithangstogether.This
impliestwothings:

1. Youneedtosortoutyourpointsintogroupssothattheycanbepresented
inastructuredway,givingtheessayabeginning,amiddle,andanend.
2. Youneedtokeepathreadofmeaningrunningthroughyouressay.Each
sentenceshouldflowonfromthepreviousone,withadequatesignposting
tohelpyourreaderfollowthemovesyouaremaking.
Presentingacoherentargumentisalsocloselylinkedwithshowingyourgrasp
ofideas.Oneofthereasonswhyyourwritingtasksaresetintheessayform
theformofanargumentisbecausethatmakesyouusetheideasyouhavebeen
studyingtosaysomething.Anyonecancopymaterialfrombooks.Thepointof
anessayistomakeyouthink.Whenyoupresentacoherentargumentyouare
showingthatyoucantakeholdoftheideasandorganisethemtodosomework
foryou.

PerhapsyouwereabitpuzzledwhenIsaidearlierthatPhilipandHansaboth
arguequitewell,inviewofthecriticismsIhadmadeoftheirarguments.WhatI
meantwasthattheybothhavesomesenseofwhatanacademicargumentshould
belike.Mostimportant,theyshowtheyknowthatarguinginanessayisnotthe
samethingashavinganargumentineverydaylife,whenpeopletendto
confronteachotheroftenbeingstubborn,emotional,irrational,andmaking
wildgeneralisations.Anargumentinanessayaimsattheveryoppositeofthese
things.Thewritermustbeobjective,precise,logical,andconcernedtobacka
casewithevidence.

PhilipandHansasometimeswriteinavagueandwoollyway,butatothertimes
theyarequitepreciseaccurateinwhattheysay,andcarefultousetheright
word.Thisshowstheyknowitmatterswhichwordsyouchooseinmakinga
particularpoint,eveniftheydon'talwaysfindthem.Andtheyconnectupthe
stagesintheirargumentwellenoughtoshowthattheyareawaretheyshould
presenttheirideasinareasonedorlogicalsequence,notspraythemaroundany
oldhow.EveniftheydonotuseenoughevidencefromEllis'sarticletoillustrate
andsupportwhattheysay,theyuseenoughtoshowtheyknowthismatterstoo.
Inotherwords,theybothgivesignsofrecognisingwhatitmeanstowritean
academicessay,andthisisfundamentaltoeverythingelse.

3.5Takinganobjective,analyticalstance

OneofthethingsIsaidanessayshouldbeisobjective.Whatdoesthatmean?
Beingobjectiveaboutsomethingmeansstandingbackfromitandlookingatit
coolly.Itmeansfocusingyourattentionontheobject,onwhatyouare
discussing,andnotonyourselfandyourown(subjective)feelingsaboutit.Your
ideasshouldbeabletosurvivedetailedinspectionbyotherpeoplewhoarenot
emotionallycommittedtothem.

Anessayshouldarguebyforceofreason,notemotion.Youmustmake
deliberateeffortstodevelopastyleofwritingthatiscool,dispassionateandfair
toallsides.Thatmeansyouyourselfmustbeopentodoubtandcriticism.Your
argumentsshouldbepresentedinthespiritthatyourreadermightnotagreewith
them.Andifyouwanttodisputeaclaimsomeoneelsemakes,youareexpected
tohaveanalysedthatclaimcarefully,toargueyourcaseandprovideevidence
foryourpointofview,ratherthansettingouttocriticiseorcastdoubtsonyour
opponent'scharacterormotives.Youshouldberespectfultootherwriters.You
shouldassumethatyouarewritingasamemberofacommunityofequals,allof
whomareintelligent,openminded,fairpeople.Youshouldwriteonthe
assumptionthatyourreadersarealsomembersofthatcommunity,andthatthey
willbeinterestedonlyinyourreasonsforthinkingwhatyoudo.Theywillnotbe
interestedinyouasaperson,orinyourideasbecausetheyareyourideas.

3.6Writingclearly

AfinalpointthatemergedfromouranalysisofPhilip'sandHansa'sessayswas
thatagoodessayiseasytoread.Grandsoundingphrasesandelaborate
sentencesdonotmakeanessayimpressive.Clarityandeconomyarewhatcount.
Sucheaseofreadingisachievedatseverallevels.

Technicalconsiderations

Handwriting

Nowadaysmostpeopleuseawordprocessingpackagetowriteessayswhile
somepeoplemayuseatypewriter.However,ifyoudon'thaveaccesstoeitherof
theseyouwillneedtohandwriteyouressay.Shouldthisbethecase,theeaseof
readingdependsonthequalityofyourhandwriting.Itisonlyfairtoyourtutor
totrytomakeyourwritingaslegibleaspossible.Thiswilltaketimeandcare.
Butwhenyouhavespentalongtimeputtinganessaytogether,itisawasteif
whatyousayismisunderstoodjustbecauseyourwritingismisread.Itisalso
prudenttotakecare.Itwouldbeanangelofatutorwhowasnotabitimpatient
athavingtospendagestryingtomakeoutyourhandwriting.Ifitisreally
dreadfulyouwillhavetogetsomeonetotellyouwhichlettersarehardesttoread
andpractisestraighteningthemout,roundingthemmore,orwhatever.Having
saidthat,mosttutorshaveresignedthemselves,inthecourseofduty,to
becomingexpertatdecipheringallkindsofscrawl.Theywillusuallydotheir
bestnottobetooinfluencedbyit.(Actually,alotofstudentscomplainthatthey
can'treadtheirtutorsscribbledcommentsontheiressays,sothisisnotaone
waystreet.)

Layout

Whenusingawordprocessingpackage,itisbesttouseafontlikeTimesNew
Romanwhichissoberandeasytoread.Setthefontsizeto11or12pointsand
usedoublelinespacing.Youshouldalsomakesurethattherearegenerous
marginsthedefaultsettingsareusuallysufficient.Ifyouarewritingbyhand,
youressayiseasiertoreadifitissetoutneatlyonthepage.Youshoulduse
linedA4paperandleavegenerousmarginsforyourtutortowritecomments.
Writeononesideofthepaperonlythismakesitmucheasiertocrossrefer
fromonesectionoftheessaytoanother.Makesureyouleavespacesbetween
paragraphs.Thisisallstraightforwardstuff,butthepointisthatyoushould
standbackfromyourfinishedessayandlookatitasanobjectyouhave
created.Doesitlookinvitingtoread?Itissurprisinghowmanyessayshave
wordssquashedontoeverysquarecentimetreofthepage.Bepageproudand
generouswithspace.Unlessyouressayslookasifyoucare,whyshouldanyone
else?

Grammar,punctuationandspelling

Aswehaveseen,thesecontributeenormouslytoeaseofreading.Thewhole
pointofpunctuationistohelpthereaderapproachyourwordsintherightway,
andtherulesofgrammararewhatenablethereadertoconstructthesense
intendedbythewriter.Mistakesineithermakethereaderstoptoworkoutwhat
isbeingsaid.Poorspellingcanalsocausefrequentinterruptions.Meanwhile,the
readerlosesthethreadofyourmeaning.Noneoftheseabilitiesiseasyto
improvequickly,andallfallbeyondthescopeofthisbook.Butifyouthinkyou
areparticularlyweakinthemyoushouldseekhelp.Takecomfortfromthe
thoughtthatyourtutorwillusuallytrytoreadthroughtoyourintended
meaning,andwillalsotrytohelpyouimprove.

Language

Yourlanguageshouldbedirectratherthanfancy.Don'tstriveforeffect.You
shouldalwaysgoforshortandsimplesentenceswhereyoucanespecially
whenyouarebuildingupabasicessaywritingstyle.Youcanplaywithmore
elaboratewordsandgrammaticalstructureslater,whenyouhaveestablisheda
securebasictechnique.Don'tbeataboutthebush;pitchstraightintoanswering
theessayquestioninadirect,purposefulway.

Fluency

Trytomakeyouressaysflowfromonesentencetothenext.Aswehaveseen,
thisispartlyamatterofstructureandpartlyofsignposting.Itisvitaltothinkof
youressayintermsofitsoverallstructuretomovepointsaround,andcutand
trim,insearchofaclearsequenceforyourideas.Then,havingworkedouta
structure,youhavetotalkyourreaderthroughit,emphasisingthekeyturning
pointsintheessay,summarisingwhereyouhavegotto,showinghoweachnew
pointfollowsfromthelast,andfinallybringingitalltoaconclusion.
Explaining

Youneedtobeabletothinkofthingsfromyourreader'spointofview.The
readercannotseeintoyourmindsoyouhavetoexplainyourpointsquitefully
andcarefully.Youneedtogiveexamplestoillustratewhatyouaretalkingabout
andtojustifywhatyousay.Inotherwords,youneedasenseofyouraudience
andyouhavetoworkouthowtospeaktothesereadersintherighttoneof
voice.

4Conclusion

Finally,afewkeymessagestotakefromthisunit.Oneisthatthereisnogreat
mysteryaboutwhatgoodwritingis.Wecanrecognizeitjustbyreadingit.The
difficultyishowtoproduceit.However,sincetherearedifferentaspectsof
writingwell,youwillfinditusefultoreturntotheCriteriaofgoodessay
writingfromtimetotimetoconsiderhowyourwritingisdeveloping.Whenyou
areabouttosubmitanessaytoatutor,orafteryougetitbackwithcommentson
it,youcancheckthroughthelisttoseewhatprogressyouaremakingoneach
front.

Anotherpointyoumightthinkaboutisthat,intheprocesssofreadingPhilip's
andHansa'sessays,youhavehadaglimpseintotheroleyourtutorplays.Asyou
saw,itisn'teasytoreadotherpeople'swritingandmakesenseofit.Norisiteasy
topinpointwhattheirstrengthsandweaknessesare.Therearetwolessonshere.

1. Besympathetictoyourtutorandpresentyourworkaswellasyoucan.
2. Don'tbetooupsetortooirritatedifyourtutormissesyourpoint,orifhe
orsheoffersadviceyoudon'tthinkisappropriateormakescommentsyou
don'tthinkarefair.Itisalmostimpossibletogetthingsrightallthetime.

Last,takeawaytheknowledgethatyoudon'thavetogetyourwritingperfect
beforesubmittingit.Theessayswehavelookedatarenowherenearperfect,but
theyarefineasearlyattempts.Infact,thereisn'tsuchathingasperfect
anyway.Therearemanydifferentwaysofwritingagoodessay.Thesestudents
didexactlytherightthingbysimplyhavingago.Youhavetoassumethatyour
firstattemptswillnotbewonderfulandjustgetonwithit.Agoodlearnerinany
fieldispreparedtomakemistakes.

Dothis

Nowyouhavecompletedthisunit,youmightliketo:
 Postamessagetotheunitforum.
RevieworaddtoyourLearningJournal.
Ratethisunit.

Trythis

Youmightalsoliketo:

FindoutmoreabouttherelatedOpenUniversitycourse
BookaFlashMeetingtotalklivewithotherlearners
FindoutaboutwhatitsliketostudyattheOU.
CreateaKnowledgeMaptosummarisethistopic.

Dictionaries/companionstoartsstudy

Subjectareas

Unlessyouareadvisedotherwise,alwaysconsultthemostrecenteditionofthese
books.Thedates/editionsgivenhereareasatthetimeofprinting.

ArtHistory

Haggar,R.G.(ed.)(1962)ADictionaryofArtTerms,London,Oldbourne.

Hall,J.(ed.)(1979)Hall'sDictionaryofSubjectsandSymbolsinArt,London,
JohnMurray.

ClassicalStudies

Hornblower,S.andSpawforth,A.(eds)(1997,3rdedn)TheOxfordClassical
Dictionary,Oxford,OxfordUniversityPress.

Howatson,M.C.andChilvers,I.(eds)(1993)TheConciseOxfordCompanionto
ClassicalLiterature,Oxford,OxfordUniversityPress.

FilmStudies

Bawden,L.A.(ed.)(1976)TheOxfordCompaniontoFilm,Oxford,Oxford
UniversityPress.
History

Thereisnogeneraldictionaryorcompaniontothestudyofhistoryassuch.
However,thereareperiodandsubjectspecificcompanionsandindexes,suchas:

Jones,C.(1990)TheLongmanCompaniontotheFrenchRevolution,London,
Longman.

Consultthoseappropriatetoyourcourse.

EnglishLanguage

McArthur,T.(ed.)(1992)TheOxfordCompaniontotheEnglishLanguage,
Oxford,OxfordUniversityPress.

LanguagesandLaw

Yourcoursewillrecommendappropriatedictionaries,grammarsandreference
books.

Literature

Drabble,M.(ed.)(1995)TheOxfordCompaniontoEnglishLiterature,Oxford,
OxfordUniversityPress.

MediaStudies

Watson,J.andHill,A.(eds)(1984)ADictionaryofCommunicationandMedia
Studies,London,Arnold.

Music

Blom,E.,revisedbyCumings,D.(eds)(1991)TheNewEverymanDictionaryof
Music,London,Dent.

Isaacs,A.,andMartin,E.(eds)(1982)DictionaryofMusic,London,Sphere.

Philosophy

Flew,A.(ed.)(1979)ADictionaryofPhilosophy,London,PanBooks.

Bunnin,N.,andTsuiJames,E.P.>(eds)(1996)TheBlackwellCompanionto
Philosophy,Oxford,Blackwell.
ReligiousStudies

Hinnells,J.R.(ed.)(1995)ANewDictionaryofReligions,Oxford,Blackwell.

Acknowledgements

Thematerialbelowispartofanextract(chapter4pagespp.101142andpp.
265268)adaptedforOpenLearnandcontainedinTheArtsGoodStudyGuide,
byEllieChambersandAndrewNorthedgefromTheOpenUniversity.Copyright
TheOpenUniversity,2005.TheArtsStudyGuideformspartofthestudy
materialforTheOpenUniversitycourseA103AnIntroductiontothe
HumanitiesandhasbeendesignedtobeusedwithotherOpenUniversity
courses.

ThecontentacknowledgedbelowisProprietary(seetermsandconditions)andis
usedunderlicence.

Gratefulacknowledgementismadetothefollowingsourcesforpermissionto
reproducematerialinthisunit:

Text

J.Ellis,Onthetown,HistoryToday,December1995,bypermissionofHistory
Today.ThisarticleisfromtheHistoryTodayOnlineArchives,whichcanbe
foundatwww.historytoday.com.

UnitImage

K.Sawyer:www.flickr.com/photos/ksawyer/407360817/.

Allothermaterialsincludedinthisunitarederivedfromcontentoriginatedatthe
OpenUniversity.