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Nonverbal Communication is the Key to Great Understanding

Alejandra Briones

Minnesota State University

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Nonverbal communication is very important in society because there are people out there

who know what you are saying without saying it. It is not what you see, it is what you are not

seeing when it comes to body language. Nonverbal communication is a way of communicating

without spoken or written language; someone else can see what you are saying by how your face

reacts or how your body is reacting to what you are saying. There are six non verbals and those

are proxemics, kinesics, haptics, territoriality, paralanguage, appearance there are three more,

those are recently new chronemics, olfactics, and silence. It can be difficult to understand but

after you gain knowledge on reading nonverbal cues, it is like second nature to people and you

can easily catch people in a lie. In this paper the components I will be talking about are

proxemics, kinesics, and haptics.

When it comes to these nonverbal people are not always aware of them because it is

something people do not always understand until it is explained to them. The meaning for

Proxemics is space for example if you are too close to someone you are in their bubble and they

might feel uncomfortable. Kinesics is movement and gesture which in other words is staring at

someone for too long. In our textbook it has a quote from Francis Bacon, As the tongue

speaketh to the ear, so the hand speaketh to the eye (p. 194). When you were young you were

taught to not stare at people because it is rude and may make people feel uncomfortable. Lastly I

will be writing about in this paper is Haptics the meaning for this component is touch, everyone

has their own space and touching people you do not know can make someone feel

uncomfortable. You can go give a friend a hug but you would not hug a random person on the

street.

In class we watched a film and it involved so many different examples about how

nonverbal communication is used. In the video it explained how giving someone a hand shake
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and you having the upper hand meant you the one in power, so in a picture you always want to

have your knuckles showing (Borg). The one who gets the hand on top of the other hand is the

one in power. This is crucial in politics because you always want to be the one who has the

power. This is a perfect example of Haptics because it involves touching. If you do not have the

upper hand in a picture you can fight it and still making it seem like you are the one who has

the power For example you can tap this person on the back or you can easily wrap your arm

around him. People in politics find every way possible to get the upper hand or make it seem

like they are the one in power. Proxemics in America is a big thing because we are taught to give

each other so much space. In the textbook it states there are four spatial zones and those are

intimate space, personal space, social space, and public space (p. 201). If you do not you might

be invading their bubble and the person you are talking to might start stepping back. In the video

we watched in class it had stated in the Middle East people talk very close to each other but here

in America if you would get so close to someone and start talking to them it would mean you

might want to fight them (Borg). There are so many different ideas around the world regarding

personal space. In my culture it is okay for a man to kiss another man in the cheek but if I would

see two of my American friend do this I would think otherwise. For the last component I will be

explaining is Kinesics and this involves gesture and movement. Like I had said before when you

are young you are taught not to stare at a person because it is rude. They never tell you how long

is too long, but just looking at a person is rude especially if you do not know them.

The first experiment I decided to do was on proxemics and the entailed to get really close

to someone and make them feel a little uncomfortable. This person was a complete stranger I did

not know him and it was at 7:30 in the morning when I decided to do this experiment. One

morning I decided to get up early and go to the library because I knew there was not going to be
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a lot of people there so the person I did this on would feel very uncomfortable. I was nervous but

I did it anyway, I literally say right next to him and he did not say anything. I got a little closer

and he laughed and I said Im sorry am I bothering you? He answered no, but you are really

close to me is this a joke or something I said no, just sitting. He said okay well you smell

nice and I said well thank you, but I have to get going you have a good day. This experiment

did not go as bad as I thought it would. He complemented me and was not rude in any way.

The second experiment I decided to do for this component was to get really close to

someone in an elevator, but I did not know where I was going to go where there is only one other

person in an elevator with me. Then I thought the library Ill ask someone help me find a book. I

asked one of the helpers and I said can we take the elevator he said yes, and when we got into the

elevator I got very close to him. He did not seem to mind and so I got so close he looked at me

funny and moved over a little but never said anything. He was a gentleman and helped me find

my book and did not mind me getting so close to him

The last experiment I decided to do was sitting with someone who was by themselves. I

decided to do this experiment in the Centennial Student Union (CSU) at Minnesota State

University. I saw someone who was sitting all alone and they were eating. When I sat down I

said hello and she literally got up and left. She much have been having a bad day because she

was not having it one bit. She hated the fact I sat in her area, I could tell by the way she looked at

me.

The next experiments I did was for haptics, haptics is all about toughing and I hate when

people touch me especially people I do not know. I knew this was going to be difficult for me but

I did it anyway. I decided to randomly wrap my arm around an older lady and she did not mid at

all. She said well hello little lady how are you doing today? I was amazed she did not mid at
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all but yet she was older so maybe she does not mind personal space. We talked for quite a while

actually and she was very wise about life.

The second experiment I did for haptics was holding a completely random persons hand.

When I did this she was in shock and quickly moved her hand. She looked at me with disgust

and walked away. I was waiting for her to hit me or something because she was not having it.

The last experiment I did was hugging a random person instead of someone I knew. This did not

go bad at all. The other person hugged me back and said he really need a hug. I was glad I could

make someones day a little better.

For the last component I did experiments for was kinesics. This component is all about

facial expressions and gestures. This experiment I enjoyed the best because I did not have to

touch anyone. The first experiment I decided to do was five someone I didnt know I mean face.

I was in class and I keep looking at this person and giving a pissed off face. They did not think I

was looking at them and keep looking behind themselves. After class he asked me if he we had a

problem and if he could fix something he had done to upset him. I said no nothing is wrong. He

looked so confused and after I felt bad so the next time I saw him I told him why I had done it.

The second experiment was me staring at my professor and he did not like it one bit. He

asked me if I was okay or if I needed to be excused and I said no I am just fine thank you for

asking. I keep doing it and he finally said can you please stop staring at me. I laughed and said

okay. I did not think he was going to notice me staring at him. The last experiment I decided to

do was smile for most of the day and try to smile at everyone I ran into or walked by. Some

people smiled back and others looked confused.

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When you are talking and trying to hide something, sometimes people can read your

body language and know you are hiding something. People sometimes do not remember there

are people out there who can read those sings but sometimes those signs just happen. Only seven

percent of communication is actually verbal. When I heard about this it was shocking because it

is insane how people can totally catch you in a lie without you thinking twice about it. These

components are just three out of nine and there is so many other ways to read body

language/nonverbal communication.

These experiments were very interesting because some people reacted like I thought they

would and some people reacted in other ways. People have all different types of boundaries and

bubbles. Some people do not mind if you get in their bubble and some do extremely. People all

over the world have different way of communicating and in some countries it can be

disrespectful if you do something here that maybe you are use to. All the experiments I did were

hard to do because you never know how people might react. In America there is like a rule that

you cannot be so close to someone. You do not ever hear anyone talk about about this rule but we

all know about it. When I go to Mexico it is so different than it is here people are more loving

and not so cold down there. It all depends on the culture also.

To end this paper, I want to say proxemics, kinesics, and haptics are the nonverbal

communication I decided to talk about. The experiments I decided to conduct were different

because I had to put myself out there but it was worth getting some different responds from

people. Throughout all these experiments I have learned not to be so closed and to put myself out

there more. Some people might appreciate it more than others but I think it a risk I am willing to

take.
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References

B. John, Secrets of Body Language, April 9, 2013

B. Steven, B. Susan, R. Mark. (2014). Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others. New

Jersey. Bowers Karon.