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Araceli Herrera

Prof. Olivas

English 201

25 July 2017

Speaking up can make a change for women

Many people think that domestic violence is not a serious issue; its a normal thing that

eventually happens to women that are lower class. Many of these people dont understand that

domestic violence is a serious problem and it can happen and affect all women and their children

of all ages at different income levels. Many people, especially men, think some of the threats of

physical violence arent considered a crime, but they are. In reality, physical acts of abuse and

threat of physical violence in a relationship is domestic violence. In Audrey Austins short story,

Shattered and Beaten it explains how a woman, Barbara, is physically abused by her husband

Brandon and her child doesnt know how to help her. The child, Alicia, doesnt know what to do

or say when she is getting abused by her father. Barbara also has trouble deciding what is best

for herself and for her child, especially when she needs to reach out to others for help. Even

though Austins story is a work of fiction, it is rooted in reality. Domestic violence is a problem

that could be increasing if people dont speak up which is why social problems need to change.

Physical abuse can lead to psychological abuse. Psychological abuse might be a reoccurring

event in these womens lives. Men and women need to work together and make a change. Also,

men need to take a stand on stopping domestic violence. There are programs, recovery groups,

and therapy for domestic violence victims. When women are abused, they experience physical

violence and psychological problems, and they need to speak up so society can help them and

provide with the right assistance.

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Domestic violence became a serious problem in 1992, and two years later congress

passed the Violence against Women Act. But it wasnt sufficient for women to stop men from

physically abusing them. For this reason, women are trying to do their best to defend and protect

themselves in many different ways as they can. History has a lot of men who were violent toward

women and controlling as well. Domestic violence advocates have long known that children of

abusive parents often grows up to be abusive in their own relationship (Domestic Violence 11).

These future abusers have a higher risk than the boys who grow up in nonviolent homes. This

can affect many women of all ages. In the early 2000s, many people werent paying that much

attention to this issue until later on, but later on began to pay attention to domestic violence as a

problem in the United States. Violence is a common occurrence in ten through twenty-five

percent of all marriages in the United States (16). This means that half of the women in the

United States have experienced violence. Physical violence and threats make women feel unsafe

with their husband or boyfriend. [Many women] are harmed, not by strangers, but those they

trust and love. They are victimized, not on the street or in the workplace, but in their own homes

(16). Many of these women had no choice, but to let it happen. One of the reasons is that women

didnt recognize the problem was a big issue, but when they finally realized it was they choose to

not tell anyone or didnt have anyone to tell and in turn kept them isolated. Almost every day,

women are facing unacceptable sufferings. Approximately twenty-five hundred domestic

violence homicides occur every year; some fifteen hundred women die violently at the hands of

current and former husbands and boyfriends (Mankiller). These womens injuries and deaths

are serious because this impacts physical violence, women are not safe in their own homes with

men of this kind of behavior. Physical violence could lead to psychological abuse. In Austins

short story, I didnt mean it, Barbara. Im so damn sorry. You know I didnt mean it. Forgive
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me, babe. I give you my word Ill never hurt you again (Austin 2). This is an example of

emotional abuse because Barbara was scared and didnt know if she should forgive Brandon, but

ended up forgiving him because she thought he would change by taking his word and she

wouldnt have to worry raising the baby by herself. This violence can affect a womens life by

the view of the relationship. Men who abuse do care and do have feelings for these women, but

sometimes men take it out of control. Also, men think they can take over a womens life. Its not

womens fault that their husband or boyfriend do so much violence to them wherever or

whenever it occurs. No matter what form the violence is taking place it always has a deep roots

in society (Bhattacharjee & Sukriti 765). Women need to reach out to people who are there to

listen to them and to help them; then what is society for. Women want domestic violence to end,

but they are afraid and dont want to speak up because they dont know how to communicate to

others.

Women who are victims of domestic violence shouldnt keep this problem to themselves

because they are afraid, but they need to understand that speaking up is the best decision for

victims because there are protection programs, therapy and recovery groups in which society can

help them. The Violence against Women Act can help women who are victims of domestic

violence. Violence against Women grants can be used to create specialized police and

prosecution units to deal with domestic violence and sexual assault cases (Domestic Violence

97). Women will receive support and their husband or boyfriend who abuses them will be

arrested. These victims need to know they are not alone because many women fought for this act

not only for themselves, but for all women who have experienced it. The biggest problem with

women who are victims is that sometimes they dont report the violence, they want to leave their

husband or boyfriend, but sometimes they cant because of financial reasons or threats. For
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example, men would threaten to kill themselves if the women would ever leave him, or other

related reason to cause women to be afraid to report the violence. Another reason women stay

with their husband or boyfriend is to try to fix their relationship by trying to do therapy. Group

therapy for batterers gives men the opportunity to confront and change their behavior and

attitudes (142). This could be an opportunity for their men to realize what theyre doing is

wrong and noticing that its a crime. If this doesnt work, women could go to recovery groups

which will help them and men give more advice as well. The same opportunities goes for women

who are undocumented, there are therapy, recovery groups, and the same program for them as

well. The only issue is that many of the undocumented victims would still be afraid because they

might get deported. For many undocumented victims, taking that step has become exceedingly

difficult because of fears that the government will detain and deport them if they press charges,

according to law enforcement officials lawyers and advocates from across the country (Medina).

Undocumented women dont need to be afraid because they are victims of domestic violence.

There is the U Visa protection which will help undocumented women who just experience

violence from their man. Victims of certain crimes receive permission to stay in the United

States if they assist the police and the promise of the visa often persuades victims of sexual

assault and domestic violence to come forward(Medina). Victims who suffered physical

violence or other related violence have a chance to stay by letting the government look into the

crime. Women need to understand that the state and the government want to protect them from

harm. Women need to decide what is best for them by noticing they need help and that things

need to be change. These programs and services are the opportunities and strengths for all

women to gain more control over their lives and leave their abusers. Women need to understand

that speaking up will help them to protect themselves and to recover. Recovery makes women
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stronger by noticing who is in control. Also, recovery will help women to stop blaming

themselves, this will help women heal and develop trust in their own knowledge and know that

theyre not responsible for their abusive behavior. Women have to break their silence by seeking

help and become more self-confident by making better choices. They need to have someone in

their life like a friend, a neighbor, or a family member who has observed something among them

or by paying attention. Domestic violence wouldnt be increasing if women made a change by

speaking up and letting society help them.

Men need to have an equal relationship with women and men need to take a stand on

domestic violence. So far, throughout the years, there still are unequal relationships that need to

be change. These unequal relationships are men who have controlling behavior. [Men need to]

understand that they alone are responsible for their behavior (Domestic Violence 142). Men

need to control their behavior by trying to go to therapy with their women to try to fix their

relationship. Men with controlling behavior threaten women so many different ways which

brings so much violence to women. For example, in Austins short story, Who [are] you calling

drunken bums? Bitch! You talk to my friends that way? (Austin 18). The threat that Brandon

did towards Barbara led to violence by physically hurting her. At some point, men need to be

aware that women are human beings that have rights too and no man or any person can control

women; its impossible. Men want courtesy and to be treated fairly, and women want this as well.

Men and women need the balance of power in an equal relationship to respect each other. By

men having an equal relationship with women, men need to take a stand on domestic violence. In

the Ted talk Violence against Women-its a mens issue, We need more men who have the

courage and the strengths to start standing up and saying some of this stuff, and standing with

women and not against them and pretending that somehow this is a battle between the sexes and
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other kinds of nonsense (Katz). Men need to be open-minded to realize its a major problem for

women. Men need to understand how much women suffer. Men need to at least try to observe in

a womens situation, at some point, men need to ask themselves, what if it was my sister or

cousin. For example, in the Ted talk, [If a] guy says something sexist or degrading or harassing

about women, instead of laughing along or pretending you didnt hear it, we need men to [take a

stand]. Men have to understand and be aware that domestic violence isnt a joke because this

could happen to their own relatives. We need men to realize that they cant be a part of domestic

violence. Men are supposed to love, respect, and protect women which they promised to their

wives in their vows. Not hurting them by destroying their lives. Also, as stated in the Ted talk,

In the end, what will hurt the most [are] not the words of our enemies, but the silence of [men].

Men need to help speak up of this issue, not just for themselves, but for the future of their

children, childrens. Social change can provide changes in our communities toward preventing

domestic violence.

When women are abused, they experience physical violence and psychological problems,

and they need to speak up so society need to help them and provide with the right assistance.

Others say that women should keep it to themselves, its not a big issue and women are over

reacting. Women can get help by having a friend or someone in their neighborhood who has

observed the issue and telling these womens what they should do. Women should try therapy,

but if that doesnt work then women should go to recovery groups which this will give women

the advice to help women to choose what is best for them. For women who are isolated is much

more complicated because theyre so focused on the mens look and would do anything they ask.

In the Ted talk Why domestic violence victims dont leave, Now the last thing I wanted to do

was leave New York, and my dream job, but I thought you made sacrifices for your soul mate, so
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I agreed, and I quit my job, and Conor and I left Manhattan together (Steiner). Men will tell

women to quit their job, stop talking to your friends, but women arent noticing that the men are

actually isolating them. In this situation, women wont have contact with society. Women know

that its dangerous leaving their abusive man, but at some point women cant take it anymore and

will finally break the silence and tell someone. When men are abusive, it is not the womens

fault, it was the mens chose he made for doing so, for which he was responsible. Men are not in

command over women, its just impossible to control women.

For now on, women should know their situation well so that they may decide accordingly.

Women should be speaking up even if they are afraid and alone. At some point they will know

that the best decision they ever did was to get help. Women need to remind themselves that they

are not the one to blame for their husband or boyfriends abusive behavior. They should know

that they have rights to be respected, and having an equal relationship as well. Women can start

all over again from their recovery and recognizing their injuries from abuse if it ever happens

again. Also, women should stay connected with others who care about them and not lose their

support. These women should spread social awareness by beginning to helping others who have

been through this situation, having trouble to speaking up, and having trouble getting help from

others. Women should always remember to protect themselves, and taking care of their bodies,

and having compassion for themselves.

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Works Cited

Austin, Audrey. Shattered and Beaten. Nov. 11, 2013.

Bhattacharjee, Anjana and Sukriti Banda. Domestic Violence against Women: The

Socioeconomic Scenario. Indian Journal of Health & Wellbeing, vol. 7, no. 7, July 2016,

pp. 765-768. Ebscohost,

Domestic Violence. San Diego, California. Opposing Viewpoints Series, 2000.

Katz, Jackson. Violence against Women-its a mens issue. TED, Nov. 2012,

Mankiller, Wilma, and others. Violence against Women. The Readers Companion to U.S.

Womens History, 1998, SIRS Issues Researcher,

Medina, Jennifer. Too Scared to Report Abuse, for Fear of being deported. New York Times,

30 Apr, 2017, pp. A. 1, SIRS Issues Researcher,

Steiner, Morgan Leslie. Why domestic violence victims dont leave. Ted, Nov. 2012,