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Rapport
Rapport is a critical ingredient in any persuasion situation. We will focus on
building rapport through becoming as much like the other person as possible to
eliminate as many differences as we possibly can between us.
The Conscious Mind is that part of your being that can best be defined by
saying what it does. It enables you to shift your attention from one thing to
another. Therefore, what you are aware of is that part of you that would be called
your conscious mind.
The Unconscious Mind is that part of you that contains your long-term
memories. It is also in charge of automatic behavior -- reflex action. In fact, the
purpose of this training is to get you to be persuasive -- automatically -- be
evaluating the way you automatically respond in persuasion situations, and then
make changes that will enhance the process.
The definition of Rapport is an _______________________________________.
The definition of leading is: doing something ______________ than what the
other person is doing. (You'll receive a more complete definition when we get to
the section on verbal pacing and leading.)
The test for rapport is: lead by doing something _______________ than what the
other person is doing and if they ____________ __________ then you are in
rapport.
What can you gain from learning how to calibrate to the non-verbal signals of
others?__________________________________________________________
When you mirror someone make sure you take into account their entire body.
Watch all the way from the top of their head to the bottom of their feet. You
should keep their whole body in your vision. This will help you take advantage of
your peripheral vision.
Peripheral vision is very useful. You take in more information peripherally than
you do by looking at someone directly. A good exercise to do is to mirror
someone while they're at a 45 degree angle to you. Watch them peripherally and
then mirror overall what they're doing.
The Power Of Intention: One of the biggest keys to rapport is setting your
intention to have it.
Its not necessary to mirror exactly: When mirroring, try to not mirror exactly
what the other person is doing. it's OK to mirror close to what they are doing but
not precisely that will help so you don't get caught and it will actually make the
faport deeper. so for example if someone were to reach forward and pickup a
glass of water to drink you might reach forward and pick up your pencil - when
they set it down, you might set your pencil down, that kind of thing.
Facial Expressions: You can also mirror facial expressions real effectively.
Especially you could mirror things like if they raise their eyebrows or they cock
their head to one side or the other. These are easy to mirror.
Speed of Speaking: People speak at the rate they understand. So, while you
match the speed of their speaking just know that's about how fast they're
processing information as well.
Delay to Go Faster: When mirroring you can delay the movement by up to half a
minute.
Delay, But Close the Gap: The longer you are with someone, the closer you
can make your movements to when they make theirs. This strengthens the
rapport immensely.
***Ode to Vibration: You can also use the concept of vibration - matching
vibration to theirs. VERY POWERFUL!
How are they balanced? One leg, both legs evenly, leaning in a particular way.
See through their eyes. This establishes rapport at very deep levels. A
huge advantage to this is that calibration is automatic. You are seeing
through their eyes and you feel their feelings. This technique originated
with Silva Mind Control, I believe.
Once you're in them, you have really moved along the process at
building rapport. You will be able to change your state and effect
them much more quickly and more powerfully.
When you're doing this, you can make it more powerful by sensing them as
completely as possible.
Marvel at what its like to feel the clothes they have on and what their hair
feels like.
If the person is of the opposite sex, you might even feel what it's like to
have that sexes characteristics. If the person has a facial hair and you
dont, feel what it feels like to have it etc.
Notice where in your body you feel the connection with the person. Keep
adjusting your body, making very small adjustments until you feel like
you're completely in their body.
Another distinction you can make when you step inside someone is the
difference in temperature between them and you. You can also use this as
a gauge of rapport - if you have strong rapport the temperature is warm, if
you don't have it or you are losing it, it gets colder.
Do You Want To Step In? The test to see if you want to step in to someone else
for purposes of rapport or influencing them is to step in just a little bit to start with
by putting in your foot or your hand and if it feels awful or bad, don't do it.
Build In An Intensity Switch: When you build a person so that you can step
inside them you can build a switch to lessen the intensity of it to start withl. You
could make it a bit dimmer for example and then if it feels real good and
everything is ok then go ahead and crank up the brightness once you're inside
thus cranking up the intensity of the experience both for you and them. Your
switch could control the brightness and the sound all at the same time its up to
you.
Use Your Connection Over and Over: Once you build this kind of connection,
you can use it over and over, anytime you want to increase rapport, or to
influence them. Just build that image of them, step into the person and influence
them.
Perceive Objections In Advance: Once you've stepped into someone you can
also feel their objections. You can often feel them before they do and thus feel
how to fix it. This can make overcoming their objection all the easier.
Create An Anchor For Yourself To Get Inside: It's useful to create a small
physical movement that you can use as a trigger to get you inside of someone
else. This could be like a small shift of your head or a small step or a shift of your
weight - something that triggers you to move into the other person.
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