HOW MUCH IS ENOUGH?

Harness the Power of Your Money Story

And Change Your Life

Author: Pamela York Klainer

Publisher: Basic Books
Date of Publication: 2002
ISBN : 0-465-03748-8
No. of Pages: 226 pages

About the Author Wisdom in a Nutshell

Money drives a lot of people's actions. However, in spite of it being, at times,
the greatest motivator in a lot of endeavors, people do not seem to have a
clear perception of how money really relates to their lives. This book sheds
light on how to better understand the meaning of money in one's life so that it
Pamela York Klainer
can be controlled more favorably and positively.
Pam Klainer is an entrepreneur,
author, financial expert, national
speaker and philanthropist. Her main
consulting focus is helping senior
decision makers match the right
strategic initiatives with major
resources. She is formerly a founder
and CEO of Professional Planning
Corporation, a diversified financial
services firm based in Rochester, NY.
In 2002 she authored How Much is
Enough?, published by Basic Books,
which discusses the interplay between
money, success and power. As a
nationally recognized speaker on
entrepreneurship, she has appeared
at both the INC 500 Conference and
Fast Company Real Time. Her
philanthropy supports early stage
entrepreneurship and business skill
development.

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 HOW MUCH IS ENOUGH By Pamela York Klainer
What's A Money Story, and Why Does Yours
Matter?
This is basically a book about money. However, it is
not about how money is earned, saved, invested,
spent, etc. Instead, it tackles your experience of
money, as manifested by your money story. In other
words, this book is more concerned with the personal
dynamics involved over the technical aspect. This is
so because an analysis of and reflection on your
money story will help you uncover some important
truths about yourself that you may not see
somewhere else.
In seeking for one's money story, there is no need to
go far. You may just look at how you were raised up in
relation to money, how you live with money now, and
what you expect it will bring you in the coming years.
The best money story is indeed a fusion of the past,
present, and future.
If at some point, you realize that your money story is
not working for you well, you may change that part
which seems to be going wrong. However, you can
only do so if you are sure what your money story
really is. Identifying this may not be that
straightforward as it has a very long reach, stemming
out from the past and stretching further into the
future.
Moreover, the money story of a certain family is
usually collective, same with communities,
organizations, companies, government bodies, etc.
Their culture as a whole has a great influence on
each of their money stories.
What Money Does Mean?
Literally, money is supposed to function as a tool to
provide for basic needs. However, in itself, it has
become a need. It seems to define who a person is
and where in the world is he supposed to be. Money
indeed plays a major role in shaping a person,
especially in this type of prevailing belief and culture.
Happiness may not necessarily be fulfilled by money
yet people constantly work hard for it. Success is
oftentimes measured in terms of how much money
one has gained. Ask yourself, though. Has money
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and success made you a happier person? Does
more money automatically mean greater happiness
in life? Has your life been a pointless and undirected
pursuit for something that until now you cannot
Money indeed plays a major role in
shaping a person, especially in
this type of prevailing belief and culture.
define? Would you want a life that is whole,
passionate, vibrant, and meaningful? If you feel
confused and unsure, it is probably high time that you
reconsider or change some parts of your money
story.
Finally Getting Honest
Your beliefs and corresponding behaviors related to
money are brought about by who you really are.
Unfortunately, people seem to be in constant denial
of how money works in their lives. Although, most of
the time, people would say that they work too much
for a larger and more important cause, it is actually
not the case. What happens is that they become
what they do. Thus, working too much become what
their lives are all about.
Why is this so? It is simply because being
overworked means not having time for other equally
important matters such as socialization, traditional
practices, performing roles in the family and many
others. As such happens, the significance of work
and money clearly heightens.
This is usually not immediately recognized and thus
needs illumination. With consciousness and clear
understanding, you learn and see areas that need
change. You get to acknowledge the fact that you
may have been unsatisfied because of some
behavior patterns that have to be amended. In the
end, you realize that money has really been behind
most circumstances in your life, both in positive and
negative ways. It is then up to you to decide whether
or not you would want it to be that way in the future.
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You just have to remember that your end goal must
be happiness.
Your Money Story: How You Juggle Money +
Success = Happiness
A lot of educated and successful professionals have
resorted to the idea that financial security and
achievement in the workplace bring in happiness.
Nevertheless, the opposite seems to take place.
Happiness becomes more and more difficult to
achieve because everyone seems to be trapped in
the busyness of his current environment which is far
from how he was raised up.
Indeed, the previous generations had a different
relationship with money as compared to nowadays.
Here are some of the changes:
! In today's economic environment, a larger
share of the population has money than was
true thirty years ago. There is an upward curve
of finances as the years progress. This is
probably due to the fact that an increasing
number of people decide on choosing to not
become economically vulnerable.
! With additional money comes choice, and
with choice comes greater complexity. As you
climb up the financial ladder, you will notice that
Along with the opportunity to earn big
money comes a reduction in the range
of things successful people do. Work
becomes people's only preoccupation.
you will then have more choices. However,
those choices will bring in more complexity in
your life as your scope expands as well.
! Not only is there lots of new money around,
but people are gaining access to big money at a
much younger age. This comes with some
disadvantages as the process of reflection and
experiencing further is likewise shortened and
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not very representative of what actually
constitutes happiness.
! Along with the opportunity to earn big money
comes a reduction in the range of things
successful people do. Work becomes people's
only preoccupation. This is mainly because
happiness is perceived to be purely originating
from work which is income-generating. Thus,
there is no time left for other matters that are
equally important.
! Not only do a lot of people have more money
and work more, but the very definition of
happiness seems to have changed. For the
workers of Post-World War II and Post-
Depression, happiness was achieved by merely
having good health, stable relationships in the
family, having enough to pay for the bills and
everyday needs, and having the chance to go on
vacation once a year. Now people's criteria for
happiness have indeed become stricter.
! An often-unstated factor in the difficulty
sorting out money, success, and happiness is the
loss of moorings that used to come from religious
practice. The workplace seems to replace these
traditional places of faith and praise.
! The focus on work and money occurs at the
epicenter of the change in gender roles that has
only gained steam over the past thirty years.
More and more women have assumed the role of
provider in the family as well. Now, someone
who takes care of the home, children and family
in general appears to be missing. The caring
attitude of women has shifted to an income-
oriented one.
! Most successful people, even those who are
highly sophisticated at investing money, still can't
talk about money's powerful symbolic meaning.
At times, money is used to measure one's
success against other people's successes.
Everyone lives in a culture that is characterized by
these above-mentioned changes, although not all is
wont to admit it.
Constant reflection on how money and success work
out for you will indeed help a lot. Scrutinize the exact
amount of your income against your overall
expenses. Identify then if you have enough or even
more than enough. You will then be able to identify
somehow how money has been ruling over your life
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and your idea of success and happiness in general.
This is not to assert that money is useless. In fact, it
gives significant contributions to a person's life.
Some excess money provides you some sort of a
breathing room in times when you want to keep your
hand off work. Likewise, money buys containers
which you fill with your personal sense of meaning.
Take note that it is not the meaning that money is
buying, it is just the container. It will be up to you
how you will fill it up given the various circumstances
in your life.
Similarly, success also attracts positive things in life.
Professional success gives you the chance to widen
your horizons and go out of the comforts of your
home and family. You are then able to fully utilize
your potentials and capabilities. Towards the end,
your self-esteem should have been heightened
significantly and you find a greater sense of
purpose.
Money and success do not necessary add up to
produce happiness. A more sound statement is like
this: Money, success, and then happiness. Both
money and success buy containers which you fill in
with time, money and energy with the hope that
something good will come or happen.
Hidden Messages: Finding the Roots of Your
Money Story
Go back to your earliest experience of money. This
will help as your current money story did not just
appear suddenly. It takes it roots somewhere and
that is what you want to analyze. Likewise, it will
reveal who you really are as choices made and will
be done about money come from it.
Knowing and appreciating yourself for who you
really are and being able to extend yourself to the
needs of others create a very good foundation for
happiness. Happiness is indeed a product of a
period of time and not just a spur of the moment
after-effect. It gains profundity with age. It has
several elements but the most important is mastery
which is being able to take charge of one's personal
life story, accept responsibilities, and live with
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complete awareness and control in the present. All
these are what you have to sort out as you try to find
hidden messages and this is definitely not going to be
easy.
How Hidden Messages Work
! Early in life, all of us are dealt certain cards.
One of these is your family money story. When
you were young, you were dealt with a role in that
story not explicitly but through gestures, actions,
and overheard conversations.
! The family money story always has an
emotional outlay. This differs between families.
! The truth of a family money story is often
hidden beneath the actual words.
! Family money stories, and the emotions they
generate, typically cascade from generation to
generation, becoming relatively more resolved or
relatively more destructive as they barrel along
! Family money stories are hard to unearth.
Money and its influence at some point remain
barred for most people. This is partly due to
social customs that disapprove of direct
questions pertaining to money.
Money brings in more power
to a person.
The Importance of Revealing and Understanding
Hidden Messages
You may ask why you need to look into these hidden
messages. It is known to be difficult to do so why not
just leave it the way it is? Uncovering and
understanding hidden messages have several
benefits. Otherwise the following may take place:
! Being sophisticated about money in one part
of your life and nave about money in another is
downright dangerous. You have to be as
consistently open as possible no matter how
painful or difficult the situation may be.
! If you remain oblivious to the hidden
messages that drive your career choices, you can
wind up deeply unhappy and in a financial bind. A
Better understanding will help you move away
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from choices that are making you unhappy and
continue with those that have an opposite effect.
! If painful earlier experiences have been
submerged but never resolved, you risk
unintentionally repeating them. Since you are
unaware how a certain experience affects your
life, you continue with it.
How to Go About Uncovering Hidden Messages
! Pay attention to tics in your experiences.
These are incongruities that do not make sense.
! Once you suspect a hidden message, do
not let it pass. Instead, look closely into it.
! Don't dwell on just the traditional role played
by money as it can be representative of many
other things.
! The effects of hidden messages may be
varied. It can sometimes be light in certain
instances and painful in another. Ensure that
you have a strong support system that will go
with you no matter what.
! Keep adequate conflict resolution skills
handy. This is so because dealing with money
poses several deviations from what is
conventional.
! Whatever your findings may be, make sure
that you effectively link them to your current life
and impose changes if and when necessary.
The Promise of Integration: Making Money
Ordinary
This is basically about making money something
that you learn from in day-to-day living. Thus, as
you mature, the ease with which you deal with
money must become apparent. You must be able to
openly accept the message that it is trying to get
across and use it to shed light and hope in the future.
Making money ordinary will only become possible if
you recognize that it is actually a powerful aspect of
your life, whether or not you acknowledge it. You
also have to look at how past money experiences
had affected your life. Remember that money may
be used for both good and evil, so try to evaluate
where you have been leaning to and aim to change if
necessary.
Copyright 2006 BestSummaries
What's a Money Stage?
The four stages of money do not imply that you have
to go through each. The process is not ladder-like
where you need to step on one rung first before you
can proceed to the next. Instead, you move in and
out of each stage depending on the flow of life.
Here are four stages that you may, at any point, delve
into:
1. Denial. This may be in various forms such
as moving away from one's ambitions or
considering money as if it is not really an
essential aspect of the big picture of life.
2. Anxiety. This may imply several meanings
depending on the context of the money story. For
example, people from the middle class often feel
anxious about not having enough money to settle
their regular bills. There could be various
sources and these generally reveal how you
relate with money in your life.
3. Exploration. This takes place when you
start experimenting on what money can really do
for you and considering the level of satisfaction
that comes with it.
4. Integration. This is the ultimate goal of
making money seem ordinary. If you commit to
this for the rest of your life, you have to constantly
pay attention to the profound aspect of any
financial decisions, be comfortable enough in
talking about money and its implications, and
align your behavior to your beliefs and values.
How Do You Use the Power Money Always
Conveys?
Money and power are usually seen as very much
related, with money bringing in more power to a
person. However, you should be more interested on
how to maximize that power money always conveys.
This is quite difficult in the existing society as most are
not used to talking about money openly. Just the
same, however, doing so will make your relationship
with money a lot better. Expect, though, that there is
not going to be one standard model for all situations
and circumstances.
A very basic principle is the fact that you should not
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use the power brought about by money in trampling
upon others. You gain power without negatively
affecting others. Such whacking behavior occurs
when there is no balance of financial power. This
may happen to couples, board members, business
partners, stakeholders, and many others. Your goal
must be to maintain a balance of financial power as
much as possible.
The imbalance may not be always resolved. In spite
of this, you should be able to point out what the
problem really is and have more control over what
the outcome will be. You have to be proactive
enough to choose not to run over other people.
The power of money does not only function at a
personal level. It also becomes significant in the
public arena, where everyone desires to leave a
mark in the world. At some point, you have to
become more comfortable in exercising social
financial power in a responsible manner.
Two key elements may affect your successful
exercise of power in big public settings. First is
being able to choose and focus on something that
promises growth. The next is being able to identify
the leverage points that will serve as springboard to
that promised growth.
Undeniably, the relationship between money and
power also springs from one's childhood money
story. Thus, looking back at these past experiences
may lead you to realize how to change those ways
which appear to be unfavorable. Always remember
that you are indeed capable of harnessing the power
that money conveys.
Resolving the Provider / Organizer Dilemma
Sorting out provider and organizer roles in
everyday living further manifests the power of
money. Providers generate money while
organizers do something else like support functions.
The provider / organizer dilemma usually falls
among the hardest questions about money.
What causes the dilemma? In any situation,
whether personal or professional, providers often
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are the ones who get recognition and higher pay at
work. Organizers, on the other hand, while
performing functions that are likewise crucial, are
often put aside to the background and paid less.
Such setup is common in almost all parts of world.
Providers have more focus at work while organizers
often have to multi-task. Yet, the difference in the way
they are perceived and compensated still remains
and even becomes more complex in some areas.
What appears to be the most effective resolution to
this dilemma is being able to assume both provider
and organizer roles simultaneously. You should have
the capacity to focus on a single aspect and, at the
same time be flexible enough to learn various skills
that will help you cope when you have to multitask. In
this way, you gain the rewards that come from both
provider and organizer roles. You have to take note,
however, that the provider / organizer dilemma has
become more diverse and complex for the past years
and less gender-specific. This is something that you
have to prepare for when planning to juggle both
roles.
What's Money For: Me, or We?
You work so hard week after week yet have you ever
asked yourself why you are doing so? What's the
money you are earning for? Is it intended to be yours
alone or are you sharing it to others?
The World Bank gives an approximation that over 2.8
billion people barely survive with less than $2 per day.
These people and many others who are unaccounted
must somehow take part in the purpose of your
everyday hard work. Money becomes more
meaningful if it is not just for yourself but for others in
need as well. Such efforts will eventually and
ultimately lead to a better society.
Nowadays, however, venture philanthropy seems to
have taken over charity. This is so because people
prefer to share not only their financial resources but
their values and skills as well. Social transformation
is then geared at improving one's economic situation
as well as being armed with the right and necessary
values and skills.
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Money may indeed be utilized in four ways. First,
money can be created. You do this by working hard
to generate income. Second, money can be
consumed. You can easily consume money by
addressing your needs. Third, if you decide not to
share to others while amassing more and more, you
can do so but such is hoarding. The best is still the
fourth one which is distribution as a lot benefit from
the product of your toil. You, in return, feel happier
and fulfilled.
Making money for yourself and for others involves a
lot of commitment. Such may depend on your
upbringing and on your conviction to have a different
but useful life. It also depends greatly on your
practice of the skill of letting go.
Always remember that you are indeed
capable of harnessing the power that
money conveys.
Money Decisions: Right, Wrong, and
Relative
The creation of a mature money story depends also
on another element, that is, a framework that
assesses what is right, wrong, and relative. You
have to take note that decisions related to money do
not always feel right no matter how carefully arrived
at and implemented they are.
Here are some examples:
! When you are professionally successful
and are earning a considerable amount of
money, your relationships with people seem to
be influenced by utilitarian concerns. You relate
to those who will benefit you in terms of your
interests and those who you can effectively give
benefits as well.
! Your actions may be logically and morally
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correct yet are affecting negatively those around
you. You are prone to doing such when you are
professionally successful.
! As you deal with more and more money, the
greater you are exposed to amoral people. At
first, you may try to avoid them but in the long run,
you will always come to a point where you have to
do business with them and feel that you are
somehow participating in their amoral actions
! At some point, you will encounter those good
people who are somehow compelled to do
something bad just to save face and cover up
their mistakes. In such situations, figure out how
you can reach a compromise without giving up
your personal values and those of the people or
company you represent.
How Much Is Enough?
This should be your final and integrating question.
This is where all your decisions lead to. However,
such a question is difficult to answer as it generally
relates to various aspects:
! Making a difference in the world. You
wonder how much it takes, in exact numbers, to
be able to impact a significant difference in the
world.
! Practicality. You think how much is
necessary to be content in the practical world.
! Life and death decisions. As you identify
how much is enough, your decisions at times
tackle even those related to life and death.
! Psychological issue of being safe in this
world. You think how is enough to be able to
maintain your safety and net worth.
! Life's meaning. You try to integrate, as much
as possible, money and those which will give
meaning to life.
! Success. You create a certain measure or
limit that would identify if you are already
successful or not.
These and still many others only show that the
question How much is enough? binds together
financial, psychological, professional, spiritual, and
existential concerns.
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The Financial Thread
Ironically, of all the above-mentioned concerns, the
easiest to address is the financial aspect as the
needed information may be measured concretely.
You can even hire a financial advisor who will help
you lay down your current financial status.
Here are some of the principles that most financially
successful people are aware of:
! Difference between earning money and
having money. This difference is similar to
that between income and capital. Earning a
sufficient income does not automatically imply
financial freedom. You have to have at least a
good amount of capital that you can invest on
something that further assures financial
stability.
! Having a scalable product or service. You
can increase your earnings by engaging in a
business where you can use the same concept
several times to yield profit.
The idea of what is enough is always
relative in nature. What is enough for
one may not be so for another.
! Creation of a product or service that can
become a standard. Invest your capital on
something that will persist in an area that is
difficult to penetrate or to implement changes in.
! Having a clearer understanding of worth.
This leads you to the creation of better prices
that are favorable to your target market.
! Identifying degree of uniqueness and
scarcity. You have to look at what is most
valuable in a certain culture.
The Psychological Thread
Normally, what makes one feel safe and in control is
enough, from a psychological perspective.
However, this is not easily met by having a good
amount of money. It springs from other important
factors like attitude towards work and environment
in general.
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The Professional Thread
Some people seek for validation or external
recognition of achievements. Such recognition may
be in the form of salary increases, awards,
participation in leadership councils, etc. Without
these, such types of people may feel that they have
not done enough.
On the other hand, some prefer affirmation. They are
aware that they are contributing a certain value but
they assert that such need not be recognized.
However, when efforts turn out to be indeed
unrecognized, they feel betrayed. If you really want
affirmation, you have to make your performance
strongly highlight your value to the company.
The Spiritual Thread, and Life / Death Decisions
This has to do with knowing what is enough when the
meaning of life has likewise been found. Such
meaning may, at times, be achieved in unexpected
places such as nursing homes, remote areas,
poverty-stricken sectors, etc.
The idea of what is enough is always relative in
nature. What is enough for one may not be so for
another. All threads mentioned earlier are equally
important but the perception will be different for each
and every individual.
Moreover, along with these aspects and along with
your efforts to attain money, success, and happiness,
you should give attention to being able to develop
relationships with people whose mere presence
make you feel better. Such relationships will help
make you feel that you have enough, irregardless of
your financial status.
Don't Just Talk About Money and Happiness--
Reach for It
Money helps you realize who you really are and
identify some areas that need change or
improvement. Not only is change dependent on your
money story and current circumstances, it also
greatly depends on the nature of your decision to
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move forward. You should possess the ability and

conviction to constantly improve and grow as a
person. This should not just be verbalized but
actualized as well. As you do so, you can say that
you have indeed harnessed the power of money.

A change in relationship with money and success

will indeed end up to a more profound level of
happiness. This is so because your behaviors are
more consistent with your beliefs and values. The
process may not be that easy but the results are
definitely worth all the effor

Copyright 2006 9 of 9

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