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What improvement would you like?

Knowledge

Skills

Qualities

Attitudes

Accompaniment

What problem would you love to solve?

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 We will cover...

Positive Psychology

Happiness

The Function of Emotions

Your Positivity Profile

Some Positive Psychology Exercises

Q&A

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 Psychology & Psychiatry

"The science of psychology has been far more

successful on the negative than on the positive
side.

It has revealed to us much about mans

shortcomings, his illness, his sins, but little about
his potentialities, his virtues, his achievable
aspirations, or his full psychological height.

It is as if psychology has voluntarily restricted

itself to only half its rightful jurisdiction, the darker,
meaner half" - Maslow 1954

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Positive Psychology
Positive Psychology developed to
address this.

Positive Psychology is the scientific study

of human performance.

It examines the virtues, strengths, skills,

knowledge, qualities, attitudes and
relationships that cause happiness and
wellbeing in individuals, communities and
organisations.

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What is Happiness?

...is the experience of joy, contentment, or

positive well-being, combined with a sense that
ones life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.
- Sonja Lyubomirsky

Happiness is a capacity that can be developed.

Happiness is a state of being we feel, arising

from our knowledge, skills, qualities, and
attitudes interacting with our experience.
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Happiness is made of...

The Pleasant Life

Prioritising and experiencing pleasure and positive emotions

The Good Life

Knowing and using our character strengths and virtues

The Meaningful Life

Service and contributing to something bigger than us
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How Happy can you be?

Prof Lyubomirsky

Becoming Happier Takes Both a Will and a Proper Way

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The PERMA model for increasing happiness
...because Becoming happier takes both a will and a proper way
P ositive Emotion
E ngagement
R elationships
M eaning
A ccomplishment Prof Martin Seligman 9
Functions of emotions
Reward and Punishment

Communicate our experience to

others

An indicator and communicator

of how we perceive our experiences

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Negative Emotions
Sad, fear, anger, disgust, disappointment, sadness,
hate, guilt, shame, anxiety, embarrassed

Urge us to mobilise our most practiced coping

response

Automatic AND Useful. trigger urges to fight /

flight / freeze / collapse, protecting us from what is
harmful, unfamiliar, bad or unpleasant.

*They also trigger urges to respond to what we

believe mistakenly to be bad or dangerous.
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P is for Positive Emotions

Positive emotions trigger urges, to connect,

bond, explore, engage, vibrant and express.

Also automatic AND useful BUT not as

noticed as negative emotions.

Therefore they must be practiced on purpose

because we adapt quickly to what is normal.
We take for granted and habituate to what is
common. And their impact can fade quickly.

The Hedonic treadmill

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 Key Positive Emotions
Key Positive Emotions to Practise

Joy Hope - Optimism

Gratitude Pride

Serenity Amusement

Inspiration Awe

Love Interest Prof Barb Fredrickson

https://www.positivityratio.com/single.php 3:1 Ratio Pos:Neg Ratio Test!

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Exercises for Positive Emotions

Beauty Lists Mental Subtraction

Gratitude Journal Forgiveness Letter

Acts of Kindness Make an Effective Apology

Three Good Things Hope Box

Best Possible Self Finding Silver Linings

Using Signature Strengths Self Compassion Letter

http://www.viacharacter.org

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PERMA Questionnaire Section 1
Positive Emotion
Never Rarely Sometimes Mostly Always

I feel Joyful 1 2 3 4 5

I feel Positive 1 2 3 4 5

I feel Content 1 2 3 4 5

Total Positive Emotion Score

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E is for Engagement / Flow

Flow occurs at the point

where challenge, and
skill match

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Prof. Csikszentmihalyi
Features of Engagement / Flow

Intrinsic enjoyment in the task Immediate feedback and results

Challenge - Skill ratio 1:1 Lose sense of time

Actions become automatic Lose sense of self, others and the world at large

Clarity of the Goal Immediate feedback and results

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Flow Activity to Frequency of Flow experience

Very
Often

Often

Some
times Housework Idle Resting
Television
Rarely Hobbies Socialising Eating
Sports Study Shopping
Work
Very
Rarely

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How to increase Engagement / Flow
Take up or identify a challenging task that matches your skill level.

Define overall goals and milestones in your activities.

Measure your progress towards your goals, not your distance from them.

Increase effort & Investments occasionally in low flow areas (ie work housework)

Reflect on the positive parts of your performance.

Increase the challenge as your skill increases.

Rest and relax a little less.

*these principles also apply to flow in relationships 19
PERMA Questionnaire Section 2
Engagement
Never Rarely Sometimes Mostly Always

I become absorbed in what I do 1 2 3 4 5

I feel particularly excited or interested 1 2 3 4 5

by things

I lose track of time while doing things 1 2 3 4 5

I enjoy

Total Engagement Score

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R is for relationships

Romantic Relationships

Family Relationships

Parent / Child Relationships

Work Relationships
Dr Julie Gottman and Dr John Gottman
Social Relationships
5:1 Ratio Pos:Neg
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Relationship house
Understand eachothers
Rituals, Roles, Goals, Symbols

vvvv Know & Support pursuit of eachothers

dreams
69% of problems are perpetual and irresolvable
Understand meaning & Increase positive emotion
Manage the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Male / Female specific challenges

Achieved when enough below is happening

Respond well to bids for connection

Continue learning about eachother

and expressing positive sentiment
after limerance stage ends
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Bids for Connection
We constantly seek to bond through bids for connection.

Turning Towards - yeah those flowers are nice

Turning Away - uh huh, yeah

Turning Against - what is it with you and flowers

How bids for attention are responded to highly are indicative of the long term
health and stability of the relationship.

90% + predictive of relationship breakdown

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4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Examples
You never help me out
Why are you always

What a loser
Typical, I shouldnt have expected
anything more from you
Eye rolls, sighs, tuts, mocking, sneering

...well thats because you

I only did that because

The cold shoulder, silent

treatment, shut down and leave.

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Antidotes to the 4 Horsemen
From why dont you stop that or youre always
To I really like it when or it means alot to me
Behind every complaint is a frustrated desire!

Seek responsibility where you can find it and

Practice the art of apology. I see how what I did
affected you, Im sorry I caused that How can I
make it up to you? I will try my best toin the future.

Notice contempt creep in. Stop it quickly. Look for

things you admire, respect and find attractive.
Express appreciation for qualities and acts.

Learn to notice signs of overwhelm and flooding.

Learn relaxation techniques, breathing, grounding.
Use these to calm when distressed and threatened.25
Conflict & Problem Solving
69% of all relationship conflict is not resolvable!

People argue not about things, but about what those things appear to mean

People make the error that they are unhappy because of their problems and that
they will be happy when those problems are gone.

So while unhappy they start trying to troubleshoot and problem solve.

Regardless of the type of relationship its health rests on the quality of Friendship
and sense of Admiration for eachother.

Put problems aside, cultivate Friendship & Admiration!

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Gender Specific Challenges
Men Women

Be open to partners influence Soft Start Up - Assertive Expression

Understand Womens Fear Show affection during conflict

Ability to Self Soothe (100bmp)*

Show affection during conflict

These attitudes & skills are highly correlated with happy stable relationships
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PERMA Questionnaire Section 3
Relationships
Never Rarely Sometimes Mostly Always

I receive help and support from others 1 2 3 4 5

when I need it

I feel loved 1 2 3 4 5

I am satisfied with my personal 1 2 3 4 5

relationships

Total Relationship Score

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 M is for Meaning
A sense of ones life being part of or
contributing to a greater whole.

Family life, Neighbourhood, Community,

Interest & Faith groups, Volunteer
organisations, Causes or Professional
and Academic contributions or
humanity as a whole

Your contributions are valued and lead

to practice and improvement of your
own strengths and talents.
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Cultivating Meaning
He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how.
How to uncover your WHY?

What would make your world a better place?

Reflect on what is deeply important to you.

What would you be willing to undertake hardship and suffering for?

What is bigger than you and is worth sacrificing some comfort for?

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PERMA Questionnaire Section 4
Meaning
Never Rarely Sometimes Mostly Always

My life is purposeful and meaningful 1 2 3 4 5

My life is valuable and worthwhile 1 2 3 4 5

I have a sense of direction in my life 1 2 3 4 5

Total Meaning Score

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A is for Accomplishment
A sense of ones ability to achieve goals in the future and drawing on a history of
accomplishments in the past.

Persevere and add up your

accomplishments, rather
than to dwell on the dark
side of things.

- Bahai teachings

Reflecting on your accomplishments builds positivity, strengthens your resilience,

promotes feelings of gratitude and enhances your self-efficacy.
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Cultivating Accomplishments
Create a wheel of life.
Imagine some ideal future conditions
Set goals using SMARTER acronym

Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Result Oriented
Time bound
Encouraging
Rewarding

Gather and record efforts and achievements

and why and how you achieved them
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PERMA Questionnaire Section 5

Accomplishment
Never Rarely Sometimes Mostly Always

I feel I am making progress towards 1 2 3 4 5

accomplishing my goals

I am achieving the important goals I 1 2 3 4 5

have set for myself

I am able to handle my responsibilities 1 2 3 4 5

Total Accomplishment Score

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PERMA Questionnaire Averages
Average Population Scores for each section

Positive Emotions 10.1

Engagement / Flow 11.1
Relationships 10.4
Meaning 10.8
Accomplishments 11.0
Is there an area where you are overperforming or needs some attention?

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Books and Resources
http://greatergood
.berkeley.edu/

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Thank you very much for coming!

Want to get Happier?

Happiness Group Course takes place in the Autumn.

Questions and Feedback appreciated

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