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holes in logic:
----motivation doesn't make sense MISCELLANEOUS PROBLEMS:
----reactions don't make sense
----reasoning behind resolution doesn't make sense
----doesn't touch the reader, lacks emotional content, doesn't
----objective or situation doesn't make sense
make the
reader care about what happens
imposed solution:
----deus ex machina (something or someone totally out of the
reveals a Wonder, but is not a story:
protagonist's
----no clear protagonist, or person who has a problem
control solves the problem for him or her)
----no clear objective or need that motivates the protagonist,
----coincidence (resolution totally unlikely--obviously the
except one
writer arranged
that may be revealed at the end of the story
it)
----no real complications to make the protagonist's attempts
to reach his
others: or her
----off-stage action (point-of-view character (and therefore objective interesting to the reader
reader) ----no clear resolution to any situations in the story
doesn't see what happens and so needs to be told) ----none of the characters are changed by what happens in
----protagonist doesn't solve his or her own problem, too the story
passive/helpless ----story is not science fiction (take out the science and you
still have a
story)
----story is not fantasy (take out the magic and you still have
CHARACTERIZATION PROBLEMS:
a story)
----story is not any of the above, and it doesn't scare the
wrong choices: editor
----wrong protagonist--should be person most deeply ----story is X or R rated, and so is not acceptable for this
concerned by the publication
situation, the one with the most to lose ----supportive details missing (story seems to happen in a
----wrong view-point character--should be protagonist; if it vacuum, needs
isn't, there the interesting little wonders that make people read
needs to be a good reason why not SF/F/H)
----implications in story not thought out
unbelievable characters: ----telling instead of showing--examples:
----hero is too completely good, too one-sided, boring "He got away." (instead of describing how he did it)
----villain is too completely evil, too one-sided, boring "She was dressed funny." (instead of describing her clothes)
"He was angry." (instead of showing how he acted so the SETTING
reader could
see his anger)
What is the background for the action? Is it clear? When the
"It was cold outside." (instead of describing the way it felt to
setting
be
changes, is the reader aware of it, or are the characters
outside)
suddenly in a
different place with no explanations?
CRITIQUER'SCHECKLIST Is there at least a hint of the society on which the story is
based?
Even if the action takes place on a ship, or a remote asteroid,
by Grace Ackerman
the
characters
will have been exposed to, or developed all the patterns that
STORY LINE go with people
living together.
What is the story saying? Is it clear? Can the reader Does the setting create a mood for the story and help sustain
understand what's it? Do the
happening? If not, what isn't clear? Is there information or characters respond to the environment?
action that
feels essential, but was left out? Where does the plot get DIALOGUE
fuzzy?
Is the story line believable? Is it interally consistent? If not,
Is the dialogue true to the way people talk, or, if not, is the
where
discrepancy justified in the story?
does it contradict itself, and how?
Is the speech of the characters harmonious with their
Is the opening intriguing? Does it make the reader want to
actions? Space
go further?
jockies shouldn't talk like archivists unless there's a good
Why, or why not?
reason.
Does the story drag anywhere? Is there text which could be
Is the dialogue true to the socioeconomic level of the person
eliminated
talking?
without detracting from the story?
Can the reaader tell which character is speaking?
Are all major issues resolved? Not that the story can't end
Do people talk with, and not at, each other? Does each
with a
respond to what
question in the reader's mind, but it shouldn't raise and issue
the other is saying?
forcefully at
the beginning of the story, and then never mention it again.
Are there issues raised in the first place? Is there conflict? DETAILS & MECHANICS
Does the
story build to a climax, and then come to a satisfying ending
Is any passage awkwardly worded? Are there unnecessary
shortly
or redundant
thereafter? (By satisfying, I mean appropriate.)
words or phrases? ("Most unique" is one of my pet peeves.)
Are there any cliches?
CHARACTERS Are the verbs vivid, and the adjectives evocative?
Are the sentences too long? Too short? Too much alike?
Ideally, there
Does the reader see and feel the characters, or is s/he just
should be a rhythm that goes along with the action.
told about
Is there too much exposition?
them? Is there a main (viewpoint) character? Does this
Are there sufficient unintentional grammatical errors to
character grow and
draw the
change during the course of the story? If not, is the fact that
reader's attention away from the story?
the character
remains static important to the story? If the answer to both
the last two All this really boils down to:
questions is "No," something's wrong with the story. 1. Was the story worth telling?
Are the characters real people, or shadows? Does the reader 2. Was it told well?
get a sense 3. If not, why not?
of what it would be like to meet them? Are the characters
clearly distinct
Note: Deanna Durbin did a fine checklist in the August 1982
from each other?
SF&FW. I'm
Are the names of the main characters similar, or awkward?
using that for a base, and adding information from other
Is there anyone a reader can care about? If not, whatever
articles and letters.
happens to the
characters is pointless. By care about, I mean have feelings
about, not just GENERALCRITIQUER'SGUIDE
affection or empathy. It's possible to hate the main character
and stay with Instructions: Mark the letter that applies. If other than "A"
a story just to see if s/he gets what's deserved. comment as
appropriate. Use extra sheets if necessary. This guide is 12. Climax
based on Barry A--beautiful resolution! B--not intense enough C--could not
Longyear's SCIENCE FICTION WRITER'S WORKSHOP I, so identify
if you are confused about Comments:
what is meant by a particular item, please refer to the
pertinent discussion
13. Conflict (primary)
in that book.
A--intense! B--could not identify obstacle
Comments:
Story
Title:_________________________________________________
14. Story Purpose
Author's
A--mission accomplished! B--nothing identifiable
Name:________________________________________________
accomplished
Critiquer's
Comments:
Name:________________________________________________
15. Scenes
1. Hook
A--nicely painted! B--need more C--need fewer
A--real grabber! B--not strong enough C--does not relate to
Comments:
story
Comments:
16. Author (mechanics)
A--invisible! B--too obvious
2. Backfill
Comments:
A--great explanation! B--too much lecture C--wrong type
Comments:
17. Character(s) (primary)
A--I can see him! B--not strong enough C--did not change
3. Point of view
D--no
A--perfect story teller! B--wrong narrative form
motivation E--no conflict
Comments:
Comments:
4. Character(s) (secondary)
18. Ending
A--believable! B--too strong C--too weak D--unnecessary
A--could not have said it better! B--main conflict not
Comments:
resolved C--other
loose ends D--not believable E--unsatisfying
5. Title Comments:
A--fits nicely! B--don't understand
Comments:
19. Manuscript (format, etc)
A--you could teach! B--problems
6. Buildup(s) Specifics:
A--cliff hanger! B--scenes too similar C--too much wandering
D--wrong
20. Nit-picker's Area
pacing
Comments:
Comments:
8. Plants
A--you made it believable! B--too obvious C--not enough
I. Give your overall impressions of the author's work.
Comments: