Most episodes of I Love Lucy are about two things: Lucy buying a $50 hat, and Ricky yelling at

her in Spanish. Thats pretty much half of the series. Thats the episode description for half of the
episodes. Check your Tivo. Thats what it says for most of them. I Love Lucy - Season 4, Episode
23: Lucy buys a red hat for $50, RIcky yells at her in Spanish. I Love Lucy - Season 7, Episode
14: Lucy buys a green hat for $50, Ricky yells at her in Spanish.

I think Ricky handled those situations well. I know his reaction might seem extreme to some of
you. But if you just analyze the whole thing financially and you properly adjust for inflation, youll
see how Ricky actually undereacted. I mean, $50 back in the 1950s is equal to $507.53 in today's
money.

Now, imagine youre a band leader, you work all day rehearsing with your band at the Tropicana,
then you work all night performing at the Tropicana and singing a medley of Santiago, Chile,
Cuban Pete, Ay Mama Ines, and of course, Babalu. Youre slamming away on those conga
drums like theres no tomorrow, and youre sweating like Shaquille O'neal in the NBA FInals.
Youre sweating so much, that someone has to change your shirt in the middle of your drum
solo.

You do all that work. You go home, you plop on the bed, exhausted. You wake up at 10:30 the
next morning. You go into the living room, and you discover a box on the floor. You open the
box--and it contains some fancy hat that your wife bought. And keep in mind that this is the third
hat shes bought this month. The third hat! So youre all like, Lucy! You come in here! You got
some splainin to do! You ask her how much the hat cost. She doesnt tell you at first. And then
she eventually says, $507.53. Plus tax.

If you were in that exact situation, what would you do? Ill tell you what youd do. Youd yell at
Lucy in Spanish. Absolutely. Youd do that, even if youre not Hispanic. I mean, even if youre
some guy from Taiwan, youre still gonna yell at Lucy in Spanish. No doubt about that. Youre
gonna do like RIcky Ricardo, and yell, "Mira que tiene cosa la loco mujer esta!" Which roughly
translates to, "What kind of a sick woman keeps on buying hats for 500 bucks! Go to Walmart
and buy a $24 hat!"

Yeah. Thats what youd do. And then an hour later, youd come across your landlord Fred, and
youd tell him to stop wearing his pants 15 inches over his waist. Youd be all like, Listen, Fred.
There is no need for your pants to touch your collar bones. There is no advantage to covering
your upper body with pants.

I dont know about you guys--but every time I watch I Love Lucy, Im fascinated by Freds pants.
Why in the hell are they so high? Was that the actors idea? Is that how he got into character? Ill
bet he was some snobby Shakespearean actor, and he said stuff like, "I'll have you know that I
graduated from the Juilliard Academy of Acting. And as a professional actor, I know that the
essence of my character Fred is that he has no idea how to wear pants."

By the way--I dont even know that actors name. Thats the way it is with sitcom actors. Their
characters become popular, but the actors themselves don't. Fred Mertz, George Costanza, Al
Bundy, George Jefferson, Edith Bunker. No one knows the actors' names. The actor who played Al
Bundy is known to everyone as "Al Bundy." It's amazing. He's currently on another hit sitcom,
playing a different character. And we still refer to that actor as Al Bundy. A few years ago, that
actor got married--and the minister said, "Do you, Al Bundy, take this woman to be your wife?"
He was like, I have a name. And the minister said, Nobody cares. Nobody cares what your
name is, Bundy.