Soft Skills Notes 1

FEEL THE ZEAL OF SOFT SKILLS
MR. MOHAN HARI

KALAWATE
Assistant Professor in
English SIT CoE
In memory of my beloved brother Ram..
Definition:
It is the cluster of personality traits, social graces,

communication, language, personal habits,
friendliness, managing people, leadership etc. that
characterize relationships with other people.
WHY soft skills are important?
21st century is the era of competition and globalization.

There have been rapid changes in professional as well as
in social scenarios. In order to survive in this scenario one
must be emotional intelligent person. Soft skills are
Soft Skills- Mohan Kalawate Page 1

related with the emotional intelligence of the person so
one must acquire it.
HOW we can acquire it?
Those who will succeed in 21st century are NOT

who can read and write, but those who can
unlearn, learn and relearn again and again.
So as the above mentioned quotation reads soft skills can

be acquired better with persistent practice. Application of
these skills in our day to day life is the best option to
learn them in a better way.
WHAT are soft skills?
As mentioned in the definition it is the cluster of various

aspects of personality. These are directly connected with
persons emotional intelligence. We may consider
following skills in soft skills:
Communication Skills- LSRW
Non- verbal communication
Attitude building
Emotional Intelligence
Self-confidence

ACE-Assertiveness Creativity Empathy
Team building
Corporate manners & Etiquettes
Group discussion
Decision making
Interview skills
Presentation skills
In this resource material we will learn soft skills and their

importance in corporate and in personal life. We will use
the technique of beginning with WHY so that we can
realize the importance of each aspect. Then next step will
be HOW we can learn them so it will become easy to us to
learn them gradually and in easier way. Then at last we
will know WHAT we have been learning because by crook
or by hook we have to learn it. If we use this method then
we will have a better and competent knowledge about
soft skills.
ART OF COMMUNICATION
1.1 Communication Theory:

We should have Communication Skills BUT our
Communication Skills BECAUSE we are Skills. -
Mohan Kalawate
WHY Communication?
Educators take some simple and make it

complicated BUT Communicators take some
complicated and make it simple
Lifeblood of any organization:
It is lifeblood of any organization. Without communication

any organization cannot be survived. The smooth
operation of any corporation takes place when there is
effective communication. So, one should have this
lifeblood with him/her so that he/she can sustain in the
scenario of organization.
Base of everything that exists in the Universe:
Communication is needed almost everywhere in this

universe as it is the base of everything that exists. It is
becoming fourth fundamental need of humankind. So, like
CFS i.e. Cloth, Food, Shelter, now CMS; communication
skill is becoming the fundamental need of humankind.
How Communication should be acquired?

Communication is like cycling, if stop you will fall
down.
In order to acquire fluency communication, one should

take untiring endeavors. It will not happen that you have
become a proficient communicator in overnight. If anyone
does it as a regular activity then he/she will get its results
in an unimaginable scale.
So, perseverance is the key to become a great

communicator. One should adhere to communication and
imbibe it.
What is Communication?
The word communication is derived from Latin words

communico and communicare both these words
mean to share. There is another reference about origin
and that is the word is derived from Latin word
communis means common, it refers to common
activities of human being such as conveying, sharing etc.
Definition:
Communication is a two way process by which we can
share our ideas, feelings, facts, opinions etc with others.
Communication is an interchange of thoughts, opinions,
or information by speech, writing or signs. - Robert
Anderson.
Nature of communication:
It is a two way process that involves two or more
participants in it. It works in the formation of cycle thus it
is called communication cycle i.e. the process starts
from sender and ends with sender.
Objectives of communication:
There are two major objectives of communication:
To inform:
Generally it is used for giving information about anything
and priorities are not given for emphasis or convey
something e.g.:
Soft Skills is a subject that gives us ample of knowledge
about interpersonal skills, competence and
professionalism in general.
To persuade:
An important objective of communication mostly used in
corporate world. It focuses is persuasion rather than
merely giving information. For example:
Since, the corporate world is facing drastic changes in

business policies,

the subject like soft skills can play crucial role in
enhancement in professionalism in employees. So we
must study it thoroughly and imbibe professionalism
which is damn important.
Importance of communication:
Communication is an integral part of the life of human

beings. It welds individuals into society. It is a mode of
communication through which we can transmit our
message into mass easily and effectively. Unlike shelter,
food clothes communication is also a fundamental need
of humankind even since we born we get acquainted with
it. Communication develops the killing instinct in
which is very important for conducting life.
Types of communication
Interpersonal Communication ( inter +

personal)-
It is communication between two or more persons in

other language an exchange of ideas, thoughts etc.
through face to face communication. Some examples are
interviews, GDs, meetings in formal communication and
gossips, chatting, grapevine communication in informal
situations.
Intrapersonal Communication ( intra+
personal)-
It is communication of person with himself or his mind it
is communication within a body some other examples are
mirror talking and soliloquies wherein speaker addresses
himself or herself.
Extra personal Communication ( extra +

personal)-
The communication of human being with inhuman entity
is called extra personal communication the best example
is of our pet dog, when we go to home it comes toward
you sways its tail and jumps, means it shows the affection
that it is has with you.
Process of communication-
Communication is a two way process which starts from

the sender and ends with the positive feedback by a
receiver.
Elements of communication-
1) Sender- a person who creates the message with the

help of language and situational constraints
(compulsions)
2) Intended message- the virtual message in the mind

of sender it is what he/she intend to say.

3) Encoding- a process in which sender creates a
message with linguistic and situational constraints.
4) Actual message- after the process of encoding the

actual message is created it is the subject matter of
communication.
5) Channel a medium through which sender sends the

message.
6) Transmission a process of transmitting a message.
7) Physical reception by receiver the reception of a

message.
8) Decoding- a process in which receiver interprets a

message with linguistic and situational constraints.
9) Feedback- it a final outcome of a process of

communication. Receiver gives a feedback to sender after
understanding a message.
Communication Cycle:
Diagram1:
SENDER FEEDBACK RECEIVER
INTENDED MESSAGE UNDERSTANDING
ENCODING COMMUNICATION CYCLE DECODING

ACTUAL MESSAGE RECEPTION
CHANNEL TRANSMISSION
Principles of effective communication:

Four Cs of Communication:
Candidness in behavior:
One must be candid (frank) while communicating, it
makes communication effective. While presenting
ourselves professionally we have to have candidness, it
creates a good impression.
Clarity in purpose:
Communicator must be clear in his/her purpose while
communicating. Clarity comes when the communicator
clarifies the concepts with by giving real life examples. It
is the most desirable principle of communication.
Conciseness in language:
Brevity or conciseness adds impact in communication.
Use of simple sentences, using phrases instead of
stretchy sentences can create conciseness in
communication.
Courteousness in language:

It refers to politeness in language. In Corporate sectors
most of the times we have to speak in a formal way so, it
is very important to use courteous language while
communicating. For example if I want to tell to type a
letter to my colleague and if I say, Type this letter for
me. Then he/she will surely be annoyed. Instead of this if
I say, Will you be able to type this letter for me please
he/she will surely type it for me. So, use of courteous will
help you to build good relationship with your teammates
of colleagues.
Communication skills:
Listening
Comprehensive Skills
Reading
Writing Expressive Skills
Speaking
1.2 Barriers to communication:
WHY we face barriers?
Lack of concern or negligence:
Men stumble over the truth time to time but most

pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing
happened
As stated in above mentioned quotation we have also

stumbled over the truth i.e. we have also faced a lot of
barriers in our lives but we have neglected them and
continued. We never asked why it happened to us if we
could have done that we could have been communicating
without barriers.
Lack of initiation:
We always wait for others and think that other should
start any activity and not you. We always blame others
but even not thinking about us and not taking initiatives.
So, pro blame yourself for your problem.
Lack of decision making:
Deciding what not to do in life is as important as

what to do- Steve Jobs
If we give priorities to work then we will minimize the

barriers. If we commit mistakes or will face barriers then
try to identify that barrier and try to overcome it, As
Steve Jobs said, Sometimes when you innovate, you
make mistakes. It is best to admit them quickly,
and get on with improving your other innovations
How we can overcome it (Filters to barriers)
By cultivating good attitude:
We can overcome barriers by cultivating befitting attitude
By taking persistent efforts:

We can cope with the barriers by identifying them,
analyzing and taking ceaseless efforts.
What is barrier?
Barrier is an obstacle, distortion, hurdle, hindrance that

breaks the flow of communication.
Types of barriers:
Psychological barriers:
This type of barrier occurs because of instability of

psyche or mind. Many times communication situation is
disturbed by it. These types of barriers can be clubbed
into following categories:
Barriers concerned with Mind:

Mind is like stomach it is not how much you
put in that that matters but how much it
digests.
Daydreaming: Many people are possessed with this

barrier. They remain only physically present, while their
mind wanders here & there. In such a situation any
person cannot be able to concentrate and loses the focus
due to this communication fails.
Blocked mind: It is the set of particular thoughts that

does not allow any person to think in a different way. We
may call it as water tight compartment. In such
situation any person does not actively participates and it
acts a barrier, it is like fossilization of the mind for
example according to us biscuit is Parle-G, toothpaste is
Colgate, English is difficult language so all our pre
assumptions about concepts may lead us to
misunderstanding and act as a barrier.
Barriers concerned with complexes:

Do not compare yourself with others in this world,
if you do so you are insulting yourself.
When we compare our ego with others ego, we create a
complex such type of complex can act as a barrier in
communication. There are two types of complexes:
a) Inferiority complex
b) Superiority complex
In first type we treat ourselves as inferior and diffident in
compare to other people. Because of this we lack in the
involvement and not able to learn any aspect effectively.
On the other hand in second type we treat ourselves as
superior and better informed then others. Due to this we
lack in willingness to learn and not able to communicate
effectively.
Barriers concerned with emotions:

Worry is like a rocking chair it will give you
something to do but would not get you
anywhere
We have a cluster of emotions. Some of them help us to
build confidence but lot of them act as barrier. The
emotions like fear or phobia, anger, temperament,
excitement, anxiety, worry disturbs our mentality and
lead the communication to failure.
Barriers concerned with perceptions:

While communicating several times we prejudge people
with our perceptions because of this prejudice there may
be some misunderstandings. Our negative or wrong
perceptions may turn the communication baffled or
confused.
Barriers concerned with attitudes:
It is your attitude not aptitude that decides
your altitude.
Know- it- preoccupation: if any person has dominant
attitude with him or her then he has a belief that what
has been said to him/her is already known to him/her.
Due to this he/she does not participates in the process of
communication.
Difference in attitude: the people with different
attitudes will not have understanding of each other and
will not communicate effectively; following table will
illustrate how difference in attitude affects
communication
Sr. Personal trait Attitude Attitude Communicatio

no (self) about n
. (others)
1) Self confidence Positive Positive Effective
Understanding
Optimism
2) Self-centered Positive Negative Aggressive
3) Lack of self Negative Positive Submissive,
confidence weak and poor
4) Lack of faith, Negative Negative Confused and
lack of poor
understanding
Language barriers
Language or linguistic barriers are concerned with
linguistic competency, we commit errors due to lack of
awareness about language these types of barriers may
happen because of following reasons:
Difference in meaning (semantic* barrier): English is
the language of contexts; most of the words have
connotative meanings for example if the sentence is The
subject of the empire is poor and if the meaning of
subject is misunderstood then there may be
misunderstanding because there are different
connotations of the word subject, they are matter, a
grammatical device and people. So if dont know the
meaning of subject as people then we wont understand
the meaning of whole sentence.
(*Scientific study of meaning)
Difference in Register*: Every field of profession has its
different set of words it is called register. The register of

press or journalism, medical, Technology, literatures are
different so sometimes we dont understand what the
other person wants to say, for example if any doctor
suggests
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiviosis
we may afraid what that marathon word is about and
worried. It refers to the medical test. In newspapers
(register: journalism or press) the words like varsity
(university), cop (police), nexus (chain) are used
which are difficult to digest, in such situations we are
not able to understand the situation and will not
communicate effectively.
1.3 Active listening
We have two ears and one mouth in order that we
can listen more and speak less
Why listening?
It is observed that most of the knowledge can be acquired
by listening skill.
It helps us for the better understanding since it is a
comprehensive skill
It increases our chance of success
It helps us to build relationship
It distinguishes you from others
How to listen?
Techniques of active listening
Listen with empathy
Listen with interest
Be there!
Minimize distracting factors

Be alert for non-verbal cues
Dont prejudge your speaker
Control your emotions
Dont be defensive
RASA* technique
*Receive Accept Summarize Ask
What is listening?
Listening is different than hearing. Listening is an
intellectual activity involving both body and brain
and wherein the listener takes conscious efforts to make
it active listening.
On the other hand hearing is only physical activity
wherein the hearer remains passive and does not take
any effort to understand.
1.4 Non-verbal communication-
Actions speak louder than words.
Why Non-verbal communication?
It is more suitable than words, because it is easy to

point an object rather than describe it.
It is a time conserving mode of communication.
It is easy to form and easy to understand.
It is more effective mode in conveying the meaning of
complex ideas.
Lions share in the process because 93% of thoughts
are shared and understood only by this type (Body
Language (55%) Vocal Language (38%)
Functions of non-verbal communication

To perform rituals (greetings) e.g. saying Namaste or
handshaking etc.
We use facial expressions to express our feelings like
happiness, grief etc.
To express our feelings like astonishment by raising
eye brows or by opening mouth etc
We display our interpersonal attitude through body
language for example anger by frowning forehead or by
gritting teeth, by pointing finger we threat someone
etc.
What is Non-verbal communication?
It is a communication without words
Non-verbal communication
Codes Body language (kinesics)

Paralanguage Graphical
Kinesics Gestures Intonation

Signs
Proxemics Postures Accent

Colors
Vocalics Eye contact
Haptics Facial Expressions
Chronemics Movements

Body language
It is also called Kinesics i.e. scientific study of body

movements. In this type we can consider signs, gestures,
postures, movements etc.
Signs
Ring OK Sign: It used to

appreciate and also used to
greet
Thumb up sign: to say it is

done. To encourage (dont
Worry)
The shoulder shrug sign:

generally shows frankness
used for rejecting something
frankly.

Gestures-
Gestures are the hand movements of ours. It suggests or

display which type of attitude speaker have.
Palm gestures (Palm Power)-
If speaker speaks with this type of

palm gesture, we can understand
that his/her attitude is submissive.
If speaker speaks with this type of

palm gesture, we can understand
that his/her attitude is dominating
he/she always wants to dominate
audiences.
If any speaker speaks with pointing

the finger as shown in figure
his/her attitude is aggressive,
he/she always shows aggression
towards audiences
Rubbing

Hand gestures-
Rubbing hands suggests

the excitement or the
passion of speaker of
subject.
Clenching the hands

down shows the
frustration of speaker.

Postures-
Postures can be defined as our self image in front of
others. How we stand and how we sit is also matters in
communication. There are standing as well sitting
postures that we have we have to think about they are as
follows-
Standing postures (Standing Tall)-
Speakers hands on waist

shows the readiness or
activeness he/she is always
ready for action.

Speakers hands gripped in
front shows timid attitude
and lack of self-confidence.
Speaker gripping arm with another as

shown in figure called arm barrier in
such case speaker feels like stranger and
shows lack of concern.
Ideal posture-
A speaker must use ideal posture while demonstration
that should show his/her candidness (frankness) and
positive attitude. A speaker should use open hand
gestures with relaxed standing position and should tilt
neck to some degrees to show concern. As shown in
following figure.

Speakers open hand gesture shows his
open mindedness and tilting of neck,
his concern towards audiences.
Sitting Postures (sitting on a hot seat)-
If a person is sitting with

gripping his leg by both of his
hands as shown in the image,
then we can understand that
he is tough minded guy.
Beware of such person while
presenting.

If a person is sitting as
shown in the image i.e.
gripping the handles of chair
and ankle lock then we can
understand that he has an
aggressive attitude.
Ideal sitting posture-

While sitting on a hot seat we should sit straight and rest
our hands on the handles of chair if no handles then on
the laps. We should lean forward while hearing questions
it shows your curiosity towards the topic, an illustration
with an image is given below:
The player is sitting straight

with resting his hands on the
chair handles and smiling, it is
a sign of confidence and
positive attitude.
Eye contact-

Eyes are the windows, windows of soul.
Eye to eye communication is supposed to be most

trustworthy communication so; it pays a vital role in face
to face communication, if we maintain a proper eye
contact, it creates your first positive impression in front of
others. We have to understand the basic concepts of eye
contact like gaze behavior, controlling eye contact and
techniques to improve eye contact etc.
Gaze behavior in eye to eye communication.
Business gaze: in such type of

gaze the person looks at
another person in the direction
as shown in the image.
Social gaze: in such type of gaze

the person looks at another
person in the direction as shown
in the image. It shows the social
concern of the person and there
is no intimae feeling in it.

Social gaze: in such type of gaze
the person looks at another
person in the direction as shown
in the image. It shows the
intimacy of the person and there
is an intimate feeling in it. So use
it while communicate with
intimate people only
Techniques for improving eye contact-

We can improve our eye contact by using following
effects-
The triangle effect-

Take a glance in triangle directions.
Do not stir or gaze to particular group or audience.
The lighthouse effect

See your audiences in the way like a lighthouse
guides to ships in sea.
Do not see at any particular group of audiences take
a glance to all audience without hesitations.
Shaking hands (handshake)-
In corporate sector handshake has its own importance it

shows our professionalism and etiquettes. It also
represents our attitude.
Types of handshakes-

If any person gives hand and tries to turn others
hand down, he/she wants to take control of
others
If any person gives hand and turns his/her

hand down, he/she wants to take control of
others
Both people hold their hands;

shake them into upward &
downward twice. It is an ideal
example of handshake.
Some negative handshakes (Handsaches):
Dead fish showing weakness &

lack of confidence

Knuckle grinder- if any person
holds others hand aggressively
and presses with power it shows
aggressiveness of that person.
Proxemics:
Keep a safe distance
It is scientific study of space in communication. The word
is derived from proximity means nearness.
Four zones:
Dr. Albert Mehrabian has defined the following zones of
Proxemics:
1) Intimate zone (15 cm-45cm)-

Only emotionally attached people are
allowed in this zone like parents, kith & kins, spouse,
lover etc.
2) Personal zone (4 feet-12feet)-
While attending social functions, parties
we should maintain this distance with people.
3) Social zone (over 12feet)-
While standing with strangers (unknown)
people we must keep the distance according to this zone.
4) Public zone (over 3.6 m)-
While speaking in public, addressing a
large mob, we have to maintain this distance.

Vocalics:
It is scientific study of voice in communication. Following
factors are concerned in Vocalics.
Pronunciation
In professional sectors your eloquence is observed.
Those who speak in R P (Received Pronunciation) are
preferred. So knowledge of phonetics becomes crucial.
Intonation
The rise and fall in sound. Generally it shows your
passion, interest and intensity of speaking.
Nucleus-
It means the stressed syllable. You must use nucleus
when you speak. The importance of the word is
depending on this.
e.g. This book is important. (This and not other)
This book is important. (This book not note book)
This book is important.( I'm not kidding)
This book is important.( I'm not kidding take it
serious)
Pace or rate of delivery-

The essence or the gist of your speech is understood
only when your pace is appropriate. It is decided by
following factors:
Your passion in the subject.
Physical energy you posses.
Your empathy towards audience.
Cultural background (South Indian people speak faster
than natives.)
Techniques for using pace-

Vary the speed according to situation.
Synchronize pace with volume, pitch, body language,
visual aids
Keep your antenna open analyze audiences reaction
and modify in pace.
1.4 FEEDBACK AND RESPONSE

Why feedback?
Feedback arguably is the final outcome of communication
process. Without feedback communication is incomplete.
So, feedback is one of the crucial elements of
communication.
How feedback should be given?
Make your intentions for giving feedback very clear. You

are giving feedback to make the process of
communication complete.
Always use familiar words and use them according to

context, so that there is no gap in the understanding.
Dont use vague language while providing feedback, be

clear, concise and correct.
What is feedback and response?
The tool we use for giving feedback is called the

Feedback Response. It is a four step model, and can be
used in both negative and positive situations:
Behavior description - In this step we tell the other

person exactly what he/she said or did.
Feelings - In this step we tell other person what we felt

because of his/her effect of his/her action or behavior.

Impact - In this step we tell the other person what was,
or would be, the effect of his/her action or behavior.
Request - In this step we request the other person for a

change in his/her action or behavior which would correct
the situation.
HIDDEN DATA OF COMMUNICATION
2.1 Dealing with feelings:

Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to
be angry with the right person and to the right
degree and at the right time and for the right
purpose, and in the right way - that is not within
everybody's power and is not easy.
Why it is important?
The prime intension of communication is to share our
ideas with others. While sharing our thoughts with others
we have to care for the feelings of that person. As
mentioned in the introduction that in todays era we have
to be an emotional intelligent person rather than merely
intelligent person.
How to deal with feelings?
There are several stages of dealing with others feelings:
Awareness and labeling: this is the first stage in which

we become aware of others feelings by feeling empathy.
When we at least try to know about others feelings

instead of scolding, we step towards the effective
communication. We have to follow this step when we
handle people emotionally.
For Example: You have an important meeting with a

colleague - your colleague couldnt switch off his mobile
as he is expecting an important overseas call - so he is
answering call, and the tempo of the meeting is lost
every time as he gets a call - You are now irritated, but
how irritated are you? If this continued for an hour you
would be annoyed; if for more than 3 hours you would be
angry; if for the whole day you would be furious. So you
have become aware of a feeling, and you have labeled it
depending on its intensity.
Taking Action: After awareness and labeling you have to

take an appropriate action this you can do in many ways,
you might tell him politely that his cell-phone is a source
of disturbance. You might suggest him to take a break till
he gets his call. You may ask him to send an e-mail or
SMS to the caller asking what time he should expect the
call. You may ignore the interruptions, and find a way to
keep up the continuity of the meeting.
Reporting you feelings: Here, you have to admit your

feelings to the other person and have to tell how you felt
about those interruptions We can use "I" statements, and
very soft or neutral words like upset, annoyed etc. instead
of angry, mad, sorry etc.
For Example: "I am upset of these interruptions. Can we

first decide what to do about them, and then get on with
the meeting?"
In such circumstances, it would not help to speak
unfeelingly to your colleague, using harsh and explosive
words. It would create one of two situations; he would
become defensive, and withdraw effectively from the
meeting, or he could become aggressive, in which case
the atmosphere would become vitiated.
Feel it now, deal with it later: In some sensitive

situations, it may not be possible to either take action or
report your feelings. In such situations, become aware of
the feelings now, and deal with them later, when the
atmosphere and the circumstances are more conducive
to a balanced transaction. Sometimes, doing nothing is
the best way to something
2.2 ASSERTIVENESS:
I was raised to be nice. Which is fine, I guess,
except that nice meant never saying what you
wanted, never saying no and never having an
opinion different from anyone else. I thought the
only way to be assertive was to yell and get red in
the face. It took a while to learn that I could be
honest, be myself, and still be considered nice.
Why assertiveness?
To show our self esteem
To stand up for our right
To be a firm decision maker
For controlling the life
How to be assertive person?

Strategies to show assertiveness:

1. Be responsible for your own behavior
2. Be direct, honest, and open about your feelings,

opinions and needs.
3. State your goals or intentions in a direct and honest

manner.
4. State your point of view without being hesitant or

apologetic.
5. Avoid being influenced, Do not let your friends,

classmates etc impose or reinforce their behavior,
values and ideas on you. Let them know what you
think, feel and want.
6. Be honest regarding compliments. Be honest when

giving and receiving compliments. Never put down a
compliment and don't feel you must return one.
7. Learn to say NO Learn to say no to unreasonable

requests. Do not apologize and do not make up
excuses.
8. Avoid 'why' questions. "Why" questions allows the

listener to be defensive.
Example of being assertive person:

Waiting at the counter at Telecom, You are about to be
served when someone starts to speak and says "It's only
a quick question." There are many people waiting, for
various reasons. What would you do?
Passive: OK go ahead.

Aggressive: Don't you think I've got better things to do
than wait here and listen to your problem?
Assertive: I've been waiting a fair while and it's my turn
now. I don't expect to be very long either
What is assertiveness?
Assertiveness is the ability to communicate
opinions, thoughts, needs, and feelings in a direct,
honest, and appropriate manner.
Assertiveness involves standing up for your bill of rights
in a manner that does not offend others or deny the
rights of others.
Bill of assertive rights:
I have the right to be the judge of what I do and what
I think.
I have the right to offer no reasons and excuses for
my behavior.
I have the right to change my mind.
I have the right to say "I don't know".
I have the right to make my own decisions.
I have the right to say "I don't understand".
I have the right to say "I don't care".
I have the right to say "no" - without feeling guilty.
I have the right to be illogical in making decisions.
I have the right to set my own priorities.
I have the right to be myself without having to act for
other peoples benefit.
2.2 SELF-CONFIDENCE:
Are you searching for helping hand? It is near to
your wrist.
Why Self-confidence?
Self-Confidence allows individuals to have positive yet
realistic views of themselves and their situations.
Self-Confidence helps to build the trust.
Self-Confidence allows developing trust in people to

believe in their own abilities.
Self-Confident generates realistic approach in life.
How to develop Self-confidence?

Identify your negative thoughts: Your negative
thoughts might sound like this: "I can't do that," "I will
surely fail", "no one wants to hear what I have to say."
This inner voice is pessimistic and unhelpful and will hold
you back from achieving high self-esteem and greater
self-confidence
Turn your negative thoughts to positive
thoughts: As you pay attention to your negative
thoughts, turn them around to positive thoughts. This
may take the form of positive affirmations, [5] such as "I
am going to try it," "I can be successful if I work at it," or
"people will listen to me." Start with just a few positive
thoughts a day.
Refuse to allow negative thoughts: to occur more
often than positive thoughts. Eventually, your positive
thoughts should be given more brain space than your
negative thoughts. The more you counter your negative
self-thinking with positivity, the more natural this will
become

Maintain a positive support network: it is said that
Human is known by the company he/she keeps, for
cultivating self confidence we should remain with the
people who are positive.
Identify your talents: We should be aware of the talent
that we have and we should use it accordingly. By
recognizing your potentials we can achieve what we
desired in our life.
Use Self-talk: the self-talk is an opportunity to counter
harmful assumptions.
Example: When you catch yourself expecting perfection,
remind yourself that you can't do everything perfectly,
that it's only possible to try to do things and to try to do
them well. This allows you to accept yourself while still
striving to improve.
Self-Evaluate: Learn to evaluate yourself independently.

This allows you to avoid the constant sense of turmoil
that comes from relying exclusively on the opinions of
others. Focusing internally on how you feel about your
own behavior, work etc. will give you a stronger sense of
self and will prevent you from giving your personal power
away to others.
What is Self-confidence?
Self confidence is the combination of Self-esteem (I
AM) and Self-efficacy (I DO).

IN THE WORLD OF TEAMS
3.1 Concept team:
There is no I in team but it is in WIN.
Coming together is a beginning; keeping together
is progress; working together is success.
Why team?

It is said that, alone I cannot together we can! When we
work with unison, we increase the chances of success.
While working as a team, we can acquire variety of
interpersonal skills from our teammates because every
person is unique and has some potential.
Team is a think tank where we can share the infinite
source of information and utilize it for our benefit.
How the team should be?

A successful team is a group of many hands but of
one mind.

T= Talented Together
E= Enthusiastic Everyone
A=Anticipating Achieves
M=Motivating More
The team must fulfill these four parameters. Every team

member should understand each other and should co
operate each other like our body parts do.
Another example is of soccer where every player passes
the ball to each other and finally converts that into a goal
but if any player decides that he will not pass it to other
teammate then it is merely impossible to win the game.
So, we should take into consideration this example and
work as a team.
What is a team?
"A group of individuals working together to
achieve a common goal"
So, as mentioned above it is a group of people
working together for a common goal and that
differentiates team from group because in group
people may work together but for not a common
goal, they have their individual goal to achieve.
Stages of team formation
Forming: This is the initial stage where the group is not

even a group; it is simply a gathering of individuals. There
is no particular purpose, structure and leadership.
Individuals meet each other, and try to know whether
they will fit into the group or not. Information is
exchanged regarding their specializations, thus getting
some idea regarding individual strengths. Some
consensus (agreement) is developed. The stage is
complete when interpersonal relationships are
established and when members have begun to think of
themselves as part of a group.
Storming: The consensus (agreement) developed in the

first stage is suddenly very rudely shattered, and there is
a period of intense conflict. The conflict arises because of
interpersonal behavior and hostility. Occasionally, groups
split. There is dissatisfaction and competition everything
is questioned-the purpose, leadership, roles, objectives,
rules. The members become aware of their differences.
But even in this stormy atmosphere, two positive things
emerge. First, there is the formulation of more realistic
norms and objectives; second, there is a slow formation
of trust. This is a critical period for more timid members,
who may want to back out of the team.
Norming: A single leader emerges and it results in group

cohesion, with this, the structure of the team becomes
more rigid. Members show their commitment, which leads
to more harmony in the group. The group has established
how it will work, within what limits, and do what. There is
now a strong sense of group identity and camaraderie
(companionship). New group standards and roles are
formed for members. Members are now clear about what
their roles and responsibilities are, and try to work
together.
Performing: The performing stage is masked by

teamwork, role clarity and task accomplishment. Group
energy has moved from getting to know and understand
each other to the job of performance. The team is now
focused on achieving the common goal. All the norms,
behaviors, orientation etc. are totally understood and
accepted. Members know how to work with each other.
There are disagreements and misunderstandings, but
they are handled and solved effectively.
Adjourning: The group has completed its assigned task
and prepares for its disbandment. Attention is directed to
wrap-up activities. Some of the members are upbeat,
because they now have chances for other experiences.
Some of the members are depressed, since they have
developed food friends, and have worked with good
harmony. Finally, all the work comes to an end, and the
members of the team disperse.
DISCUSSIONS, DECISIONS AND PRESENTATIONS

Group discussions
It is a formal discussion involving ten or twelve
participants.
Types of GD-
1) Factual GD- it based on facts rather than imagination
when speak with the help of facts, reasons, statistics etc.
it becomes factual GD for example subjects like Female
feticide, corruption, inflation etc.
2) Abstract GD- when we speak in the terms of If it is
called abstract GD in this type of GDs the importance is
given to imagination rather than reality the ideas are
scattered.
3) Controversial GD- in this type of GDs controversies
are created and could be debates also examples is
Reservation issue.
4) Case based GD- when we discuss with the help of
case studies or particular scenario that becomes case
based GD.
Advantages of GD-
We can generate our ideas at the time of GD by rational

thinking and brain storming.

We can share our opinions and ideas with others so it is
more effective way of transmitting our message in the
mass easily.
Working in group is like a fun, it is said that Alone I
cannot but together we can. we can utilize each
members skills.
Categories of GD-
Structured GD
Unstructured GD
Structured GD-
It has particular structure and there are some role plays
that team members have to play they are-
1)Leader- captain who leads his/her team with
leadership skills.
2)Initiator- the person who introduces the topic of GD.
3)Prime mover the person who starts the action.
4)Information seeker- he/she asks questions about
related topic.
5)Information giver- he/she gives answers to questions
asked by Information seeker.
6)Procedure facilitator- his/her duty is to keep the
momentum going on.
7)Opinion seeker - he/she asks opinions about related
topic.
8)Opinion giver- he/she gives opinions related to topic.
9)Supporter- he/she supports every member during GD
10) Summarizer his/her role is to conclude the
discussion.
Unstructured GD
It preferred by most of the companies at campus drives
and the purpose is to check personal traits of candidates.
There are some requirements from candidates they are as
follows-

1) Team player you must be a team player who is all
rounder, adaptable and responsible.
2) Reasoning ability- you should have reasoning ability
in you and should think laterally.
3) Leadership skills- you should know how to
coordinate the different skills of different members. You
have to inspire your teammates at critical situations. You
have to handle the pressure.
4) Flexibility- you should use switch on and switch off

technique.
5) Assertiveness- you should express your thoughts
frankly without hurting any person.
6) Active listening- It is one of the keys of effective

performance at GD so, listen carefully and anticipate with
your teammates.
Stages of GD-
Introductory stage-
This is most important phase of GD because you have to
create your first impression on the examiner. You can
create your impression by commencing your GD with
quote, question, shock statement, fact, definition etc.
Some useful statements-
OK friends let us commence todays discussion and the
topic is.
Lets begin with question
Lets start todays GD which is on.
Actual GD-
Some useful statements while inviting opinions-
Allow me to beg your indulgence in GD
Would you like to admit your valuable opinions?

How do you react to this.
Some useful statements while interrupting anyone-
Sorry for interruption, but what I think is.
Please listen to me, I to say few things.
Sorry but if you dont mind I want to add my opinion..
Some useful statements while summarizing GD-
So, let us conclude todays GD
With your permission I would like to conclude todays
GD.
Lets sum up todays discussion.
Pros (dos) of GD-
Speak frankly do not sit silent.
Give a chance everyone to speak.
Maintain eye contact with everyone.
Encourage everyone to speak especially to shy
teammate.
Show active listening and pro activeness.
Cons (donts) of GD-

Dont repeat what has been said earlier.
Dont use vague language.
Dont disturb anyone let him/her finish his/her statement
PRESENTATION
Techniques of formal speeches, elocutions-
Parameters for presentations- four Cs -
Candidness (frankness) in expressions
Clarity of thoughts
Courtesy in behavior
Conciseness in language
Stages for presentation (three Ps)-
Planning-
Prepare what to say, read about topic thoroughly.
Know about your audience which type of audience you
are going to face whether Expert or general prepare
material according to it.
Think about time your presentation must be time
bound.
Practicing-
Practice making eye contact with your virtual audience
Practice to avoid distracting gestures and mannerisms
Check your voice by recording speech
Presenting-
Use an effective opening-
Greet everyone with smiling face.
Tell audience why you are speaking.
Use catchy phrases or quotes to begin with.
Arrangement of topics-
Go through most important points to least important.
Use KISS- (Keep It Simple& Sweet) language.
Use strong transitions while shifting from one
topic to another
E.g. Let us move towards our next topic i.e.
Let us start our next point and i.e..
Instead of
First topic is../firstly.
Second point is. / secondly
Third is../ thirdly.
Keep your audiences interest high-

Interact with your audiences involve them into
discussion
Change your personal energy i.e. tone, intonation etc.
Ask rhetorical questions (yes/no questions)
Ask for agreements ask to show raise their hands.
Use effective body language
Avoid standing behind desk, table etc.
Use movements, it will give ease to you.
Use open hand gestures.
Dont look at door or watch frequently.
Use effective closing-
Give a brief review or summary.
INTERVIEW SKILLS
Death will be great relief no more interviews.
Definition It is a mode of communication by which two

or more people get acquainted with each others views.
Parameters for an interview-

According to following parameters interviewer will judge
you-
1) Clarity of thought-
Use KISS language i.e. Keep It Simple and Sweet
language.
Dont use vague language or dont create complex
sentences.
Be Candid and confident and be firm on your opinion.
2) Fluency in communication-
It does not mean speaking English in speedy manner but
speaking correct English with the use of intonation i.e.
variation in sounds, use of stress while speaking etc.
3) Confidence and attitude-

You can show your confidence and attitude with positive
body language and courtesy in behavior. Your personal
traits, your grooming sense suggest your attitude.
4) Knowledge of subject-
Candidates knowledge of subject with applications will be
checked.
5) Interpersonal skills-
Candidates interpersonal skills like assertiveness,
common sense, sense of humor, presence of mind, active
listening will be judged by interviewer.
Stages of interview-
Preparation stage (preparing for interview)-

While preparing for an interview you should do following
things-
Know yourself-
Who am I?
What are my responsibilities?
Why should they select me?
Know your company-
Who is the founder?
What is the motto, emblem?
What are the strategies and policies?
What is the status of company in the market?
Arriving for interview-
Follow the grooming etiquettes wear formal apparels.
Take your all testimonials in neatly managed portfolio.
Be punctual and time conscious.
Arriving for interview

Follow the grooming etiquettes
wear formal
apparels/attire.
Take your all testimonials in neatly managed portfolio.
Be punctual and time conscious.

Attending an interview
Enter confidently it will create your impression. If are
instructed to knock on door then knock only for twice
and ask for permission correctly.
Greet your interviewer with polite greetings like Good
morning, Good afternoon etc.
Give handshake appropriately.
Ask for seat and remember take seat only when
offered.
Say Thank you after sitting.
Maintain safe distance from table.
Sit properly dont stretch your legs.
Maintain eye contact with your interviewer look at
him/her when she is asking questions.
Accept your faults.
Give only relevant answers.
Pros (dos) of interview-

Show confidence and positive attitude by showing
positive body language and using polite words.
Be firm on your thoughts.
Listen questions carefully and lean forward while doing
so.
If there is joke smile dont laugh.
Cons (donts) of interview-

Dont sit until you are asked for it.
Dont drag chair it will make noise.
Dont make awkward movements like rubbing nose,
tilting neck, tilting chair etc.

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FEEL THE ZEAL OF SOFT SKILLS

MR. MOHAN HARI

In memory of my beloved brother Ram..

It is the cluster of personality traits, social graces,

WHY soft skills are important?

21st century is the era of competition and globalization.

Soft Skills- Mohan Kalawate Page 1

HOW we can acquire it?

Those who will succeed in 21st century are NOT

So as the above mentioned quotation reads soft skills can

WHAT are soft skills?

As mentioned in the definition it is the cluster of various

Communication Skills- LSRW

Non- verbal communication

Soft Skills- Mohan Kalawate Page 2

Corporate manners & Etiquettes

In this resource material we will learn soft skills and their

1.1 Communication Theory:

Soft Skills- Mohan Kalawate Page 3

Educators take some simple and make it

Lifeblood of any organization:

It is lifeblood of any organization. Without communication

Base of everything that exists in the Universe:

Communication is needed almost everywhere in this

How Communication should be acquired?

Soft Skills- Mohan Kalawate Page 4

In order to acquire fluency communication, one should

So, perseverance is the key to become a great

The word communication is derived from Latin words

Since, the corporate world is facing drastic changes in

Soft Skills- Mohan Kalawate Page 6

Communication is an integral part of the life of human

Interpersonal Communication ( inter +

It is communication between two or more persons in

Extra personal Communication ( extra +

Communication is a two way process which starts from

1) Sender- a person who creates the message with the

2) Intended message- the virtual message in the mind

Soft Skills- Mohan Kalawate Page 8

4) Actual message- after the process of encoding the

5) Channel a medium through which sender sends the

6) Transmission a process of transmitting a message.

7) Physical reception by receiver the reception of a

8) Decoding- a process in which receiver interprets a

9) Feedback- it a final outcome of a process of

SENDER FEEDBACK RECEIVER

INTENDED MESSAGE UNDERSTANDING

ENCODING COMMUNICATION CYCLE DECODING

Soft Skills- Mohan Kalawate Page 9

Principles of effective communication:

Soft Skills- Mohan Kalawate Page 10

WHY we face barriers?

Lack of concern or negligence:

Men stumble over the truth time to time but most

As stated in above mentioned quotation we have also

Lack of decision making:

Deciding what not to do in life is as important as

If we give priorities to work then we will minimize the

How we can overcome it (Filters to barriers)

By cultivating good attitude:

We can overcome barriers by cultivating befitting attitude

By taking persistent efforts:

Soft Skills- Mohan Kalawate Page 12

Barrier is an obstacle, distortion, hurdle, hindrance that