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I can't see!

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00:00:05,464 --> 00:00:09,466

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<font color="#00FF00"> The Simpsons 27x13 </font>
<font color="#00FFFF">Love Is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-Ne-He-CH4</font>
Original Air Date on February 14, 2016

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00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:42,994
== sync, corrected by <font color=#00FF00>elderman</font> ==
<font color=#00FFFF>@elder_man</font>

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D'oh!

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00:01:01,253 --> 00:01:04,587

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00:01:23,475 --> 00:01:27,310

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Hmm?

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Uh...

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Sir?
Yes?

11
00:02:00,846 --> 00:02:03,279
Uh, well, tomorrow
is Valentine's Day.

12
00:02:03,315 --> 00:02:06,549
Ah, yes, the day of the great
Chicago massacre.

13
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Uh, and our employees have
requested to leave early
14
00:02:09,554 --> 00:02:10,820
to be with
their loved ones.

15
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Of course, uh,
I'll be with you.

16
00:02:15,727 --> 00:02:17,594
Ooh, Smithers.
More face hardener.

17
00:02:18,997 --> 00:02:20,330
Never!

18
00:02:20,365 --> 00:02:23,333
Well, if you want to tamp down
a potential rebellion,

19
00:02:23,368 --> 00:02:25,402
might I suggest
a party after work.

20
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A sweethearts dance,
if you will.

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Sweet... hearts?

22
00:02:32,144 --> 00:02:34,077
Mmm... tasty.

23
00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:35,445
Excellent.

24
00:02:38,016 --> 00:02:40,216
No, I don't want candy.

25
00:02:40,252 --> 00:02:42,619
It's not candy,
it's baby hearts.

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00:02:42,654 --> 00:02:44,587
Ah...
27
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A sweet hearts dance it is.

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00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,265
Hey, Brandine!

29
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:58,101
You know how to shake
and bake cherub?

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Cletus, you know I can fry up
whatever you can shoot down.

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Oh, Brandine, of all
the cousins I coulda married,

32
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you was my sister.

33
00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:12,248
Carl, this is Mandy.

34
00:03:12,284 --> 00:03:14,484
Mandy, isn't Carl
everything I said he was?

35
00:03:14,519 --> 00:03:17,587
Okay, Lenny, time to stop
talking about Carl.

36
00:03:17,622 --> 00:03:19,556
Why don't you to ask me
to stop breathing?

37
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Oh, Marge, it's so great

38
00:03:21,426 --> 00:03:25,462
to combine the two loves of my
life: goofing off and you.

39
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Hey, listen,
there's one fantasy
40
00:03:27,632 --> 00:03:29,599
I've always wanted
to indulge in.

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00:03:29,634 --> 00:03:31,468
If you're willing.

42
00:03:38,443 --> 00:03:40,944
What are those frisky
hounds up to now?

43
00:03:45,650 --> 00:03:46,883
Wait a minute.

44
00:03:46,918 --> 00:03:49,085
That contractor said this
was a bottomless pit!

45
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I'll have
his license!

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00:03:50,789 --> 00:03:52,755
Hey, Professor!

47
00:03:52,791 --> 00:03:54,624
I didn't know you worked
here at the plant.

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I consult.

49
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Sometimes they listen,
sometimes not.

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People have died.
You didn't hear that from me.

51
00:03:59,931 --> 00:04:01,764
So, who are you here with?

52
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,366
Well, no one as yet.
53
00:04:03,401 --> 00:04:06,302
But I haven't turned on
the old Frink charm.

54
00:04:06,338 --> 00:04:08,538
Hello there,<i> vo-ivy.</i>

55
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Well, there's, uh,
no mistaking that message.

56
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Hello, Homer!

57
00:04:20,785 --> 00:04:21,885
D'oh!

58
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What is it, Dad?

59
00:04:23,154 --> 00:04:24,787
It's Valentine's Day.

60
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I'm alone.

61
00:04:26,358 --> 00:04:28,892
And that cat who can smell if
you're dying is staring at me.

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What are you looking at?!

63
00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:32,428
Son, I'm scared.

64
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This cat has taken
five this year.

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People in their 90s don't just
suddenly die for no reason.

66
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Please come.

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Okay, Dad.
We'll come over.

68
00:04:44,276 --> 00:04:46,142
Can you pick me up
a pack of diapers?

69
00:04:46,177 --> 00:04:48,478
Oh, for-- They always
think they're for me.

70
00:04:48,513 --> 00:04:51,581
Fine. I'll just take
a large drum of butt ointment.

71
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Hurry!

72
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:02,859
Uh-oh.

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00:05:02,894 --> 00:05:06,529
Happy Valentine's Day,
everybody.

74
00:05:06,565 --> 00:05:10,400
I don't see why, unless you
found that missing puzzle piece.

75
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:13,036
How 'bout I put on some music?

76
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I... never...

77
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Smiled again...

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00:05:20,679 --> 00:05:25,515
Oh, I used to dance with my
Auggie to that tune.

79
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Yeah, me and my Bubbeleh
made love to that song.

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Creating a kid
who never visits.

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00:05:31,890 --> 00:05:35,658
And now back
to<i> Prairie Home Companion.</i>

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Pull the plug!

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No, on me.

84
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Okay, time for some Valentine's
candy for our swinging seniors.

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00:05:46,338 --> 00:05:49,439
Don't patronize us,
we know it's pills.

86
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:53,343
But it's a new brand and they're
oh so pretty-- look, green.

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Like M&M'S with hope.

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Oh, it's starting to kick in.

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Much... better.

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00:06:02,554 --> 00:06:05,388
Suddenly,
I don't want to<i> kvetch.</i>

91
00:06:05,423 --> 00:06:06,823
I want to<i> kvell!</i>

92
00:06:06,858 --> 00:06:09,592
I can feel all the tension
going out of my beard.

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Oh...

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Oh...

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00:06:13,431 --> 00:06:15,665

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Mona?
I thought you were gone.

97
00:06:29,881 --> 00:06:31,280
Nonsense, Abe.

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I didn't leave you and I am
never going to leave you.

99
00:06:33,985 --> 00:06:36,285
That doesn't sound
like the Mona I knew.

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00:06:36,321 --> 00:06:38,287
I'm the Mona
that lives in your memory,

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00:06:38,323 --> 00:06:42,025
with all the anger turned
to honey by nostalgia.

102
00:06:42,060 --> 00:06:43,626
So what you're
saying is,

103
00:06:43,662 --> 00:06:45,628
this is really
happening.

104
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Do you think it's okay
to leave them here?
105
00:06:57,242 --> 00:06:59,709
Marge, all we ever do
is leave them here.

106
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I just think
there's more we should do.

107
00:07:02,147 --> 00:07:04,213
We could visit
your mother.

108
00:07:04,249 --> 00:07:06,449
No. No, you're right.
Let's go home.

109
00:07:06,484 --> 00:07:08,151
<i>Check it out, guys.</i>

110
00:07:08,186 --> 00:07:11,854
CVS stands for Cheap
Valentines' Surplus.

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You get a box!
You get a box!

112
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Haven't forgotten about you,
suspicious Iranian coworker.

113
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Please, call me Dennis.

114
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Oh, my<i> gurvy</i>
is<i> muh.</i>

115
00:07:23,368 --> 00:07:25,134
Oi...
Professor?

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Professor, come on,
this is a workplace.
117
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Ooh, dregs!

118
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Oh, wow.

119
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Oh, my egg head
is pickled,<i> muh-oyvic.</i>

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Did you sleep here
all night?

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Yes, you are
right, I did.

122
00:07:37,382 --> 00:07:39,849
Valentine's Day, you see,
is quite difficult for me.

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00:07:39,884 --> 00:07:42,719
I saw that Stephen Hawking movie
and all I could think is,

124
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:45,655
"He's got a girl?"
Give me a frickin' break.

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00:07:45,690 --> 00:07:46,756
Two girls.

126
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Oh, I'll never win

127
00:07:48,326 --> 00:07:50,927
and I'll always have
to only be looking.

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Listen, pal, I've had plenty of
experience with one woman.

129
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,299
And I can tell you,
130
00:07:56,334 --> 00:07:58,634
relationships are
just trial and error.

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00:07:58,670 --> 00:07:59,836
Like anniversaries.

132
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First I tried "don't remember,"

133
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then "remember too late,"

134
00:08:03,174 --> 00:08:06,476
then I happily settled on
"make Lisa remember."

135
00:08:06,511 --> 00:08:09,946
And my relationship with Lisa
has never been better.

136
00:08:09,981 --> 00:08:12,115
Yes, you say
trial and error, eh?

137
00:08:12,150 --> 00:08:15,051
My good man, that is nothing
more than the scientific method.

138
00:08:16,221 --> 00:08:17,687
Well, now,
that's a little wasteful.

139
00:08:18,723 --> 00:08:19,989
Ah, much better.

140
00:08:20,024 --> 00:08:22,658
I shall use science to uncover
the secret to women.

141
00:08:24,821 --> 00:08:26,086
Homer, scientific research

142
00:08:26,134 --> 00:08:29,339
can solve anything
except for cold fusion, quasars,

143
00:08:29,439 --> 00:08:32,540
the interior of black holes
and what preceded the big bang.

144
00:08:32,575 --> 00:08:36,911
But everything else can be
solved, including love.

145
00:08:36,946 --> 00:08:38,446
Pish-posh,
Professor.

146
00:08:38,481 --> 00:08:41,049
What makes a guy and a girl
click isn't science.

147
00:08:41,084 --> 00:08:42,717
It's chemistry!

148
00:08:42,752 --> 00:08:45,053
Which is science.
What?!

149
00:08:46,823 --> 00:08:49,757
See, I have asked an enormous
cross-section of women

150
00:08:49,793 --> 00:08:51,859
one single question--

151
00:08:51,895 --> 00:08:53,561
what attracts you
to a man?

152
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Let us listen and learn
and have some lemonade,

153
00:08:56,166 --> 00:08:57,999
which I just
squeezed nicely.

154
00:08:59,135 --> 00:09:00,735
...the most important
thing that I look for...
155
00:09:00,770 --> 00:09:02,837
I like it when
they're tall.

156
00:09:02,872 --> 00:09:04,605
Blue eyes!
Definitely wants kids.

157
00:09:04,641 --> 00:09:06,974
Hmm, I didn't hear
the last one.

158
00:09:09,379 --> 00:09:12,280
First I'll replace
these Coke bottle glasses

159
00:09:12,315 --> 00:09:14,782
with invisible blue contacts.

160
00:09:14,818 --> 00:09:16,384
Mm-hmm.

161
00:09:16,419 --> 00:09:18,419
Next, of course,
is shoe lifts for height.

162
00:09:18,455 --> 00:09:20,188
Make you much taller,
look down upon people.

163
00:09:20,223 --> 00:09:21,689
It's wonderful.
Whoa, whoa...

164
00:09:21,725 --> 00:09:23,591
Hey, look at me.
I'm Herman Munster!

165
00:09:24,828 --> 00:09:27,662
Actually, he had Lily,
who was quite a dish.

166
00:09:29,332 --> 00:09:32,166
So, do you, uh,
find me attractive?
167
00:09:32,202 --> 00:09:33,468
Sorry, but no.

168
00:09:33,503 --> 00:09:34,469
Oh, curse the luck!

169
00:09:34,504 --> 00:09:35,737
And this is an android

170
00:09:35,772 --> 00:09:37,872
that I programmed to say
nothing but "yes."

171
00:09:40,510 --> 00:09:41,776
Why? Why? Why?

172
00:09:41,811 --> 00:09:44,245
What am I over-look-ing?

173
00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,681
Uh, Professor...
don't be offended.

174
00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:48,983
Do you think it might
be your voice?

175
00:09:49,018 --> 00:09:50,785
Why, what's wrong
with my voice,

176
00:09:50,820 --> 00:09:52,887
with the up and down
and the extra words

177
00:09:52,922 --> 00:09:56,991
and the terminal nonsense
in the<i> hoyven clyven wayen.</i>

178
00:09:57,927 --> 00:10:00,094
Oh, my God, it's the voice.

179
00:10:00,130 --> 00:10:01,195
Duh.

180
00:10:01,231 --> 00:10:02,530
<i>Hello.</i>

181
00:10:02,565 --> 00:10:04,532
We're here to see Abe Simpson.

182
00:10:04,567 --> 00:10:06,200
I brought him a homemade card!

183
00:10:06,236 --> 00:10:07,735
I brought me.
That's enough.

184
00:10:07,771 --> 00:10:11,572
Oh... what the...?

185
00:10:11,608 --> 00:10:14,675
Gee, I thought they'd
be over this by now.

186
00:10:17,113 --> 00:10:19,413
Wow, they are really out of it.

187
00:10:19,449 --> 00:10:21,716
There must be some way
to take advantage of them.

188
00:10:21,751 --> 00:10:23,351
You're telling me!

189
00:10:24,587 --> 00:10:25,620
Eh.

190
00:10:26,890 --> 00:10:29,524
This little device,
which fits under the tongue,

191
00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:31,292
will change everything.

192
00:10:32,962 --> 00:10:35,730
: This voice is
an amalgam of great voices

193
00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:36,998
from Clark Gable...
194
00:10:37,033 --> 00:10:38,366
to Walter Cronkite...

195
00:10:38,401 --> 00:10:40,067
to Rush Limbaugh!

196
00:10:40,103 --> 00:10:41,636
I don't agree with his politics,

197
00:10:41,671 --> 00:10:43,504
but his body
is a natural echo chamber.

198
00:10:43,540 --> 00:10:46,240
Wow. That does
change everything.

199
00:10:46,276 --> 00:10:48,176
You turned me on.

200
00:10:48,211 --> 00:10:50,878
Oh, it's time for
a little field test, I see.

201
00:10:50,914 --> 00:10:52,313
Any other advice, Homer?

202
00:10:52,348 --> 00:10:54,849
Yep-- hang out
at yoga classes.

203
00:10:54,884 --> 00:10:56,851
That's where
the ladies are.

204
00:10:56,886 --> 00:10:58,986
How would
you know about yoga class?

205
00:10:59,022 --> 00:11:01,622
Uh, I thought
it was yogurt class.

206
00:11:03,927 --> 00:11:06,460
Twenty-one!
Dealer wins again.

207
00:11:08,665 --> 00:11:11,399
Now, here's
our headliner, Dolly Parton.

208
00:11:16,172 --> 00:11:18,139
Oh, she's good.

209
00:11:18,174 --> 00:11:19,707
Bart!

210
00:11:19,742 --> 00:11:20,975
<i>Ay, caramba!</i>

211
00:11:21,010 --> 00:11:23,144
You're taking advantage
of these people

212
00:11:23,179 --> 00:11:24,946
who don't know
where they are.

213
00:11:24,981 --> 00:11:26,814
I'm taking them back
where they belong.

214
00:11:26,850 --> 00:11:28,149
Oh, no, you don't.

215
00:11:28,184 --> 00:11:30,351
He just comped me a suite!

216
00:11:30,386 --> 00:11:32,086
Fantastic!

217
00:11:40,096 --> 00:11:42,530
You can't keep
pumping powerful drugs

218
00:11:42,565 --> 00:11:45,299
into people who can't
even bite into a peach.

219
00:11:45,335 --> 00:11:47,702
Mrs. Simpson,
it's a fact.

220
00:11:47,737 --> 00:11:49,203
If these seniors
aren't medicated,

221
00:11:49,239 --> 00:11:51,572
I can't binge-watch
<i>Boardwalk Empire.</i>

222
00:11:51,608 --> 00:11:53,341
Nucky dies at the end!

223
00:11:53,376 --> 00:11:55,176
Yeah, well, screw you.

224
00:11:55,211 --> 00:11:56,878
I'm going to report you
to the state.

225
00:11:56,913 --> 00:11:58,045
I really don't care.

226
00:11:59,315 --> 00:12:00,781
Wha...?

227
00:12:00,817 --> 00:12:02,116
You broke me.

228
00:12:02,151 --> 00:12:04,018
I'm going to say something
I've never said.

229
00:12:04,053 --> 00:12:05,786
How can I help you?

230
00:12:06,890 --> 00:12:08,389
Um, I'll wait outside

231
00:12:08,424 --> 00:12:10,291
'cause they might
make me do something.

232
00:12:10,326 --> 00:12:12,193
I've changed my height,
I've changed my eyes,
233
00:12:12,228 --> 00:12:13,761
my relationship status--

234
00:12:13,796 --> 00:12:16,230
I-I don't know why I put
"unavailable" there.

235
00:12:16,266 --> 00:12:18,132
That certainly
did not help matters.

236
00:12:18,167 --> 00:12:22,103
But now it is time
to change my voice...

237
00:12:22,138 --> 00:12:24,538
<i>Oyce... Voy...</i>

238
00:12:24,574 --> 00:12:27,208
And the<i> hoyvin</i> and the<i> flayvin</i>

239
00:12:27,243 --> 00:12:29,644
are now "hasta
la vista, Frinky."

240
00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:30,878
Ooh.

241
00:12:30,914 --> 00:12:32,213
Mm...

242
00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:37,084
I'm always next to the jerk

243
00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:38,686
who comes here
to meet women.

244
00:12:38,721 --> 00:12:40,021
Hey, look, I get you.

245
00:12:40,056 --> 00:12:42,290
You broke up with a long-
time high school boyfriend
246
00:12:42,325 --> 00:12:44,058
'cause he just wasn't
going anywhere.

247
00:12:44,093 --> 00:12:46,060
Then you play the field,
but it's all losers

248
00:12:46,095 --> 00:12:47,595
who just want
to take from you.

249
00:12:47,630 --> 00:12:49,230
Now you're just
hoping beyond hope

250
00:12:49,265 --> 00:12:50,765
for a man you can hug

251
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,100
who'll organize
the wires behind your TV.

252
00:12:53,136 --> 00:12:54,468
And believe you me,
sweetheart,

253
00:12:54,504 --> 00:12:57,171
I can organize every
wire you have.

254
00:12:57,206 --> 00:12:59,707
Now I'd like to show you
a picture of my new puppy.

255
00:12:59,742 --> 00:13:01,509
Yeah, his name's...

256
00:13:01,544 --> 00:13:02,544
Logarithm.

257
00:13:03,613 --> 00:13:04,578
I mean Larry.

258
00:13:04,614 --> 00:13:07,181
Aw...
Here's my number.

259
00:13:07,216 --> 00:13:09,884
And to prove
it's not a lie...

260
00:13:11,387 --> 00:13:12,486
Yeah, baby.

261
00:13:13,723 --> 00:13:15,756
Call me!

262
00:13:17,126 --> 00:13:19,193
Man, you're reading
page three

263
00:13:19,228 --> 00:13:20,361
and the next
thing you know,

264
00:13:20,396 --> 00:13:22,697
you're finishing
the last article, hmm.

265
00:13:22,732 --> 00:13:24,298
I got all their numbers!

266
00:13:24,334 --> 00:13:25,599
Boy, you are smooth.

267
00:13:25,635 --> 00:13:26,801
Carl smooth.

268
00:13:26,836 --> 00:13:28,202
Now I'd better
get home.

269
00:13:28,237 --> 00:13:31,205
And in case Marge is mad,
can I borrow that chip?

270
00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:34,108
Oh, sure thing, pal.
I have extras.

271
00:13:37,246 --> 00:13:39,647
Chitter, chitter, baby.

272
00:13:45,755 --> 00:13:47,188
I was so worried.

273
00:13:47,223 --> 00:13:48,422
Where have you been?

274
00:13:48,458 --> 00:13:49,824
No, don't tell me.

275
00:13:49,859 --> 00:13:51,759
I don't want to hear
one of your stupid lies.

276
00:13:51,794 --> 00:13:53,627
Marge, my dear,

277
00:13:53,663 --> 00:13:56,964
you are the pork chop
with gravy on top.

278
00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:01,235
And I'm the applesauce that
brings out your flavor.

279
00:14:01,270 --> 00:14:02,970
Oh, Homie.

280
00:14:07,010 --> 00:14:08,976
What the hell was that?

281
00:14:09,012 --> 00:14:10,111
What the...?

282
00:14:10,146 --> 00:14:11,146
You're not my wife.

283
00:14:11,180 --> 00:14:13,414
Which I find intriguing.

284
00:14:13,449 --> 00:14:15,549
Suit yourself.

285
00:14:17,820 --> 00:14:19,620
So, Professor, tell me
all about last night.

286
00:14:19,655 --> 00:14:20,955
Dish-dish-dish!

287
00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:23,858
Uh, yes, well, I can't talk now.
I'm on a date.

288
00:14:23,893 --> 00:14:25,059
And then I have a date.

289
00:14:25,094 --> 00:14:27,561
And then another date.

290
00:14:27,597 --> 00:14:29,997
Is there such a thing as too
much of a good thing?

291
00:14:30,033 --> 00:14:31,799
This is my cousin,
Nookie Kwan.

292
00:14:31,834 --> 00:14:33,801
I'm number one on the east side.

293
00:14:33,836 --> 00:14:35,379
Oh,<i> gah-layvin.</i>

294
00:14:36,929 --> 00:14:39,099
Have any of you seen John Frink?

295
00:14:39,199 --> 00:14:40,098
He ain't here.

296
00:14:40,134 --> 00:14:41,166
But his hover-tronic

297
00:14:41,201 --> 00:14:43,668
Frink-a-ma-car
is parked outside.

298
00:14:43,704 --> 00:14:46,071
Hey, if I say he ain't
here, he ain't here.
299
00:14:46,106 --> 00:14:48,907
Hey, Moe, there's
a rat floating in my beer.

300
00:14:48,942 --> 00:14:51,043
It ain't there.

301
00:14:52,079 --> 00:14:53,712
Thank you,
my good man,

302
00:14:53,747 --> 00:14:55,714
but, uh, I saw some
terrible things down there.

303
00:14:55,749 --> 00:14:58,817
Like for one,
Moe is pantsless.

304
00:14:58,852 --> 00:15:00,952
Hey, it's apron-only Tuesday.

305
00:15:00,988 --> 00:15:02,020
Oi...

306
00:15:02,056 --> 00:15:03,688
You're a lucky
guy, Frinky.

307
00:15:03,724 --> 00:15:05,123
Got all the chicks
you want

308
00:15:05,159 --> 00:15:06,725
while I can't find
a single woman

309
00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:09,795
to put up with me and my
domesticated wolverine.

310
00:15:09,830 --> 00:15:11,163
Lucky Frink.
I got nothin'.

311
00:15:11,198 --> 00:15:12,864
Some guys get
all the breaks.

312
00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:14,299
Let me see here.

313
00:15:14,334 --> 00:15:15,734
Uh, needy men...

314
00:15:15,769 --> 00:15:17,202
plus lonely women...

315
00:15:17,237 --> 00:15:19,237
I-I just bring them together!

316
00:15:19,273 --> 00:15:20,739
Hey, that's some
nice thinkin' there.

317
00:15:20,774 --> 00:15:22,774
Now, how 'bout a beer
and a baked potato.

318
00:15:22,810 --> 00:15:24,242
Ah, that sounds nice.

319
00:15:24,278 --> 00:15:26,144
We don't serve
baked potatoes.

320
00:15:27,714 --> 00:15:28,780
What happened?

321
00:15:28,816 --> 00:15:31,149
Everyone is incredibly
depressed.

322
00:15:38,792 --> 00:15:40,759
I admit the hallucinations
were getting out of hand,

323
00:15:40,794 --> 00:15:42,327
so I stopped the meds.

324
00:15:42,362 --> 00:15:45,730
And hid them in the one place
they'll never look: the library.

325
00:15:45,766 --> 00:15:48,066
Well, there's one thing you
didn't count on--

326
00:15:48,102 --> 00:15:52,237
I go there because it's the only
room in this building with heat.

327
00:15:54,007 --> 00:15:57,175
Grampa, you're not allowed
to take dangerous drugs

328
00:15:57,211 --> 00:15:59,077
unless they're in
a little paper cup.

329
00:15:59,113 --> 00:16:00,846
Listen here.

330
00:16:00,881 --> 00:16:03,048
Every night I watch my roommate
cry himself to sleep.

331
00:16:03,083 --> 00:16:05,650
Yesterday I found out
it was a mirror!

332
00:16:05,686 --> 00:16:07,652
I'm gonna find my Mona!

333
00:16:09,189 --> 00:16:12,157
There's a lesson here--
never visit Grampa.

334
00:16:16,997 --> 00:16:19,197
My old car.

335
00:16:19,233 --> 00:16:22,200
Oh, that's some fine
hallucinatin'.

336
00:16:22,236 --> 00:16:25,904
To the good ol' days
before polio was cured!
337
00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:30,842

338
00:16:41,688 --> 00:16:42,921
Hot diggity!

339
00:16:42,956 --> 00:16:45,090
It's America the way I liked it,

340
00:16:45,125 --> 00:16:48,360
before we went to the moon and
discovered how boring it was.

341
00:16:51,298 --> 00:16:54,699
I found the one happy moment
in 80 years of life

342
00:16:54,735 --> 00:16:56,134
and I ain't leavin' it.

343
00:16:56,170 --> 00:16:58,069
Oh, this ain't right.

344
00:16:59,139 --> 00:17:00,139
That's better!

345
00:17:00,174 --> 00:17:01,706
This ends right now!

346
00:17:01,742 --> 00:17:04,910
She's not real.
None of this is real.

347
00:17:04,945 --> 00:17:08,046
Imaginary cigarettes?
Nonexistent candy?

348
00:17:09,449 --> 00:17:10,849
Get outta here, Marge!

349
00:17:10,884 --> 00:17:13,885
Unescorted women like you
aren't allowed in this era!

350
00:17:13,921 --> 00:17:15,887
I'm not getting out,
I'm cutting in.

351
00:17:15,923 --> 00:17:17,322
You can't live here.

352
00:17:17,357 --> 00:17:20,225
You have people in the real
world who love you.

353
00:17:20,260 --> 00:17:22,661
Two are standing
right over here.

354
00:17:22,696 --> 00:17:25,230
If you live in the past,
you'll never have us.

355
00:17:25,265 --> 00:17:28,400
And what's more precious to a
grampa than his grandchildren?

356
00:17:28,435 --> 00:17:31,603
Particularly
his grandson.

357
00:17:31,638 --> 00:17:35,106
Aw, your sexist argument
has won me over.

358
00:17:35,142 --> 00:17:37,275
We women will have our day.

359
00:17:37,311 --> 00:17:38,376
Attaboy.

360
00:17:39,780 --> 00:17:41,112
Good-bye, Mona.

361
00:17:41,148 --> 00:17:43,615
And good-bye, pack of
cigarettes for a quarter.

362
00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:46,418
I think I'll miss
you the most.
363
00:17:49,556 --> 00:17:51,089
So what, uh...

364
00:17:51,124 --> 00:17:53,692
all that dancin' around
with me meant nothin'?

365
00:17:53,727 --> 00:17:56,995
Oh, I'll be back
to steal a kiss later.

366
00:17:57,030 --> 00:17:58,530
And as for you...

367
00:17:58,565 --> 00:18:00,899
I've got more
involved plans.

368
00:18:04,004 --> 00:18:06,705
So, Frink is finally going
to announce which woman

369
00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:09,975
he's chosen to be with at
the Springfield Planetarium.

370
00:18:10,010 --> 00:18:11,910
It's like an episode
of<i> The Bachelor,</i>

371
00:18:11,945 --> 00:18:14,679
but you drive there and pay
six dollars for parking.

372
00:18:14,715 --> 00:18:17,816
Why are we both explaining it
if we all know what's happening?

373
00:18:17,851 --> 00:18:20,218
I like talking to you.

374
00:18:26,460 --> 00:18:28,893
Ladies,
please pay attention here.

375
00:18:30,597 --> 00:18:34,432
You see, I, uh... I thought I
was the only one who was lonely.

376
00:18:34,468 --> 00:18:37,435
But I have learned
that loneliness is everywhere,

377
00:18:37,471 --> 00:18:39,237
like superhero movies.

378
00:18:39,273 --> 00:18:42,173
How many times can Batman begin?

379
00:18:43,210 --> 00:18:45,010
I have reworked
my algorithms

380
00:18:45,045 --> 00:18:46,711
to make you not like<i> me,</i>

381
00:18:46,747 --> 00:18:50,515
but to find the man that will
make each of you happiest, yes.

382
00:18:50,550 --> 00:18:52,484
Uh, release the bachelors!

383
00:18:52,519 --> 00:18:54,753
I hope they enjoy it.

384
00:19:00,460 --> 00:19:02,260
Duffman would love
to be taught

385
00:19:02,296 --> 00:19:05,263
how to speak
in the first-person.

386
00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:07,932
Everyone's paired up.

387
00:19:07,968 --> 00:19:09,934
Almost everyone's
paired up.

388
00:19:09,970 --> 00:19:12,304
Professor,
what about you?

389
00:19:12,339 --> 00:19:13,672
Where's your match?

390
00:19:13,707 --> 00:19:17,075
For me, my true love
is intellectual conquest,

391
00:19:17,110 --> 00:19:19,377
the-the music of the spheres.

392
00:19:20,814 --> 00:19:23,782
Well, sometimes it's good
just to be alone.

393
00:19:26,887 --> 00:19:31,990
And now the purple dusk
of twilight time

394
00:19:32,025 --> 00:19:37,629
Steals across the meadows
of my heart

395
00:19:38,699 --> 00:19:41,066
High up in the sky

396
00:19:41,101 --> 00:19:44,803
The little stars climb...

397
00:19:44,838 --> 00:19:47,806
What are you doing
with my daughter?!

398
00:19:47,841 --> 00:19:50,642
Why did I build a mother?
<i>Oi, goy-vick.</i>

399
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:57,294
Wait a minute, how come
we're all back here?

400
00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,597
I flushed the rest of the pills
down the toilet.
401
00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:02,333
Looks like they made their way
to the reservoir.

402
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,401
We should really try to wake up.

403
00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:06,704
Are you kidding?
There's a full buffet

404
00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:08,105
and Dean Martin's here.

405
00:20:08,141 --> 00:20:09,440
Eh, that's
right, pally.

406
00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:10,641
Here, try the shrimp.

407
00:20:10,676 --> 00:20:13,244
Some have gone bad,
but, uh, most are fine.

408
00:20:14,679 --> 00:20:21,179
== sync, corrected by <font color=#00FF00>elderman</font> ==
<font color=#00FFFF>@elder_man</font>

409
00:21:00,243 --> 00:21:02,443
Shh!