1

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<font color="#00FF00"> The Simpsons 27x18 </font>
<font color="#00FFFF">How Lisa Got Her Marge Back</font>
Original Air Date on April 10, 2016

2
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:16,045
== sync, corrected by <font color=#00FF00>elderman</font> ==
<font color=#00FFFF>@elder_man</font>

3
00:00:24,269 --> 00:00:25,701
D'oh!

4
00:00:32,076 --> 00:00:33,076
Yech!

5
00:00:55,767 --> 00:00:57,567
Yes!

6
00:01:02,173 --> 00:01:03,573
Oh, China,

7
00:01:03,608 --> 00:01:06,275
is there nothing that can't
be made in you?

8
00:01:08,947 --> 00:01:09,947
Hmm.

9
00:01:15,186 --> 00:01:17,653
Ah, my first sucker.

10
00:01:17,689 --> 00:01:19,522
Oh, a dollar.

11
00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:21,490
Now I can have lunch.

12
00:01:22,460 --> 00:01:24,126
Hmm?

13
00:01:24,162 --> 00:01:26,195
It's a trick!

14
00:01:26,231 --> 00:01:28,164
I never needed these.
15
00:01:32,170 --> 00:01:33,569
Oh, lookie here,

16
00:01:33,605 --> 00:01:36,472
it's the ol' fishing line
on a dollar bill prank.

17
00:01:36,507 --> 00:01:39,775
Man, even a backwoods,
no account, inbred,

18
00:01:39,811 --> 00:01:43,279
lead-paint-eating,
kerosene-huffing,

19
00:01:43,314 --> 00:01:47,617
roadkill-chomping, um,
what was my point?

20
00:01:49,287 --> 00:01:51,454
That is a practical joke, Luann.

21
00:01:51,489 --> 00:01:54,423
Which is too bad, because I
desperately need that dollar.

22
00:01:54,459 --> 00:01:57,159
I could also use the
fishing line to get some dinner.

23
00:01:57,195 --> 00:01:59,195
Bart, if Milhouse is
hiding with you,

24
00:01:59,230 --> 00:02:01,264
tell him he has to shop for
school clothes.

25
00:02:01,299 --> 00:02:03,899
Yay! School clothes.

26
00:02:05,570 --> 00:02:07,803
This isn't right, no one's
falling for my pranks.

27
00:02:07,839 --> 00:02:09,772
Huh!

28
00:02:09,807 --> 00:02:11,140
At least it wasn't
a total waste.

29
00:02:11,175 --> 00:02:12,275
I found a quarter.

30
00:02:15,346 --> 00:02:17,480
Well, we sure got him good.

31
00:02:17,515 --> 00:02:20,149
Duh, what a moron, duh.

32
00:02:20,184 --> 00:02:22,818
I sure wish Archie
was alive to see it.

33
00:02:29,727 --> 00:02:31,127
Duh...

34
00:02:33,164 --> 00:02:35,665
It's Thursday night,
and that can only mean,

35
00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:37,400
counter-intuitively, football!

36
00:02:37,435 --> 00:02:39,168
From London's Wembley Stadium,

37
00:02:39,203 --> 00:02:41,804
the Jacksonville Jag-u-ars
and Tampa Bay "Bucs"

38
00:02:41,839 --> 00:02:43,339
vie for Florida
bragging rights.

39
00:02:43,374 --> 00:02:46,342
Does not
include Miami.

40
00:02:48,179 --> 00:02:49,445
 When you're not happy

41
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,480
Watching your Downton Abbey

42
00:02:51,516 --> 00:02:53,215
You can always see

43
00:02:53,251 --> 00:02:54,417
Oh!

44
00:02:54,452 --> 00:02:56,185
Football

45
00:02:56,220 --> 00:02:57,520
Not British Football

46
00:02:57,555 --> 00:02:59,588
But American Football

47
00:02:59,624 --> 00:03:02,825
Which has higher scores

48
00:03:02,860 --> 00:03:03,860
Touchdown.

49
00:03:07,432 --> 00:03:09,732
If these U.K. clichs
are any indication,

50
00:03:09,767 --> 00:03:12,168
we are in for one
gobsmacking match.

51
00:03:12,203 --> 00:03:15,771
To see or not to see.
That is<i> no</i> question.

52
00:03:15,807 --> 00:03:18,274
Dad, I'm worried.

53
00:03:18,309 --> 00:03:20,676
No one is falling
for my pranks anymore.

54
00:03:20,712 --> 00:03:22,411
Son, I know this seems

55
00:03:22,447 --> 00:03:25,715
like the biggest disappointment
of your life, but trust me,

56
00:03:25,750 --> 00:03:28,484
there are going to be
<i>so</i> many more.

57
00:03:28,519 --> 00:03:30,619
What you've got to
remember is-- oh, my God,

58
00:03:30,655 --> 00:03:31,787
13 men in the field!

59
00:03:31,823 --> 00:03:33,522
Review it, review it,
review it.

60
00:03:33,558 --> 00:03:34,990
Yes! Play stands!

61
00:03:36,394 --> 00:03:37,660
<i>Here comes the airplane!</i>

62
00:03:37,695 --> 00:03:38,695
<i>Zhoop!</i>

63
00:03:39,931 --> 00:03:41,864
Thanks to your late
football-watching,

64
00:03:41,899 --> 00:03:43,466
you missed breakfast.

65
00:03:43,501 --> 00:03:45,668
Eh, don't worry, Marge,
I'll make my own.

66
00:03:47,472 --> 00:03:48,604
Meh.

67
00:04:01,786 --> 00:04:04,387
Mom, I've been working on
a new solo jazz piece.

68
00:04:04,422 --> 00:04:06,155
Can I hear it?

69
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,560
Oh, I'd love to stay and listen,
but I'm late for work.

70
00:04:14,232 --> 00:04:17,066
Here's another super-fan to hear
you lay down your licks.

71
00:04:27,011 --> 00:04:28,344
<i>Brava.</i>

72
00:04:28,379 --> 00:04:29,912
I knew you'd like it.

73
00:04:35,052 --> 00:04:37,553
<i>Hey, I am too young</i>
<i>to be over the hill.</i>

74
00:04:37,588 --> 00:04:41,090
<i>Lucky for me, there's</i>
<i>a Ralph born every minute.</i>

75
00:04:41,125 --> 00:04:42,892
Hey, Ralph, how about a napkin?

76
00:04:42,927 --> 00:04:44,160
Do I look stupid?

77
00:04:46,464 --> 00:04:49,665
Mmm! Wall licorice.

78
00:04:50,835 --> 00:04:52,435
Aah!

79
00:04:56,641 --> 00:04:59,575
Marge, nothing says
"I'm sorry" better than flowers.

80
00:04:59,610 --> 00:05:01,477
Except for fundamental
behavioral change,

81
00:05:01,512 --> 00:05:03,446
but you can't buy that
at the supermarket.

82
00:05:03,481 --> 00:05:05,514
They do smell nice.

83
00:05:05,550 --> 00:05:07,349
Hey, Dad, want to hear
my solo?

84
00:05:07,385 --> 00:05:09,084
I added a few
variations today.

85
00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:10,753
Of course I would.

86
00:05:10,788 --> 00:05:12,455
Okay.
Aw, my reed is split.

87
00:05:12,490 --> 00:05:13,756
I'll be right back.

88
00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,493
I've already heard
Lisa's song once.

89
00:05:17,528 --> 00:05:20,596
I've had a long day,
and to be completely honest,

90
00:05:20,631 --> 00:05:23,499
I really can't stand jazz.

91
00:05:29,507 --> 00:05:31,507
What about when
Lisa plays it?

92
00:05:31,542 --> 00:05:33,542
All the same. Ugh.

93
00:05:35,079 --> 00:05:37,780
Sounds great, honey.

94
00:05:41,724 --> 00:05:44,332
So, you really don't like jazz?

95
00:05:44,333 --> 00:05:46,233
I never realized we have
so much in common.

96
00:05:46,268 --> 00:05:47,968
And scat-singing.

97
00:05:48,003 --> 00:05:51,405
She-bee-bee-dee-dee-diddly-bop-
dee-do I give a darn?

98
00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:54,308
So, all these years,
you've been lying to me?

99
00:05:55,377 --> 00:05:56,543
Be-beep-ba-boop-boop.

100
00:05:56,579 --> 00:05:58,278
So, let's get it all out here.

101
00:05:58,314 --> 00:06:00,614
Mom, you were only pretending
to like it this morning

102
00:06:00,649 --> 00:06:02,749
when I played
<i>My Funny Valentine.</i>

103
00:06:02,785 --> 00:06:05,852
<i>That</i> was<i> My Funny Valentine?</i>
Hoo-boy.

104
00:06:05,888 --> 00:06:07,688
Wouldn't expect you to get it.

105
00:06:07,723 --> 00:06:09,556
So busy juggling
three children,

106
00:06:09,592 --> 00:06:13,293
you don't even notice when
one is hanging by a thread,

107
00:06:13,329 --> 00:06:15,562
a thread you just cut forever!

108
00:06:15,598 --> 00:06:17,531
Lisa, this a family.

109
00:06:17,566 --> 00:06:20,234
You do not take that tone
with another family member.

110
00:06:20,269 --> 00:06:21,301
You tell 'em, butterbean.

111
00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:22,736
Shut up, idiot.

112
00:06:22,771 --> 00:06:25,539
Lisa, honey, you're hurt,
but hurting me back

113
00:06:25,574 --> 00:06:27,808
is not going to feel
as good as you think.

114
00:06:27,843 --> 00:06:30,978
Just know that I am
very, very sorry.

115
00:06:31,013 --> 00:06:32,112
Hmm!

116
00:06:32,147 --> 00:06:33,447
Hmph!

117
00:06:33,482 --> 00:06:34,815
Mm...

118
00:06:34,850 --> 00:06:35,850
Hmm...

119
00:06:35,884 --> 00:06:36,917
Mm!
120
00:06:36,952 --> 00:06:38,585
Hm!

121
00:06:39,622 --> 00:06:41,255
Good night, Marjorie.

122
00:06:42,891 --> 00:06:44,191
<i>Marjorie.</i>

123
00:06:44,226 --> 00:06:46,760
She called me "Mar-jo-rie."

124
00:06:46,795 --> 00:06:48,528
So? Bart calls me Homer.

125
00:06:48,564 --> 00:06:50,731
You know that's out
of disrespect.

126
00:06:50,766 --> 00:06:51,865
Dis-respect?

127
00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:53,567
Is that a word?
Yes.

128
00:06:53,602 --> 00:06:55,636
And there's this guy at work
that calls me Hoss.

129
00:06:55,671 --> 00:06:57,104
What's that all about?

130
00:06:57,139 --> 00:06:58,472
This is awful.

131
00:06:58,507 --> 00:07:00,741
Lisa and I have
always been so close.

132
00:07:02,711 --> 00:07:04,611
Now, for your first day
at school,

133
00:07:04,647 --> 00:07:07,214
you get what
my mother gave me.

134
00:07:07,249 --> 00:07:08,215
Pearls?

135
00:07:08,250 --> 00:07:09,483
Just like Mommy's.

136
00:07:14,757 --> 00:07:16,857
Dad, is there anything
you pass along?

137
00:07:16,892 --> 00:07:18,659
Predilection for kidney stones.

138
00:07:20,462 --> 00:07:24,464
What if Lisa doesn't want
to be friends with me anymore?

139
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:27,868
Marge, it's not your job to be
friends with your kids,

140
00:07:27,903 --> 00:07:30,337
it's my job.
Good night, sweetie.

141
00:07:30,372 --> 00:07:31,872
Oh, uh, Bart and I

142
00:07:31,907 --> 00:07:34,274
are gonna see an
R-rated movie Saturday.

143
00:07:34,310 --> 00:07:36,710
It has boobs,
but they're elf boobs.

144
00:07:36,745 --> 00:07:37,711
Is that cool?

145
00:07:37,746 --> 00:07:39,379
Hmm. I guess.

146
00:07:43,819 --> 00:07:46,920
So long, whoopee cushion.

147
00:07:53,929 --> 00:07:55,862
Ah, good old
peanut brittle.

148
00:07:55,898 --> 00:07:57,431
What the...?

149
00:07:57,466 --> 00:08:00,434
A coiled wire spring covered by
a snake-patterned vinyl sheath?

150
00:08:11,113 --> 00:08:15,882
Lisa, our weekend in Capital
City will make us friends again.

151
00:08:15,918 --> 00:08:17,284
I don't see your saxophone.

152
00:08:17,319 --> 00:08:19,086
That must be a relief to you.

153
00:08:19,121 --> 00:08:21,521
Honey, I want you to bring it.

154
00:08:21,557 --> 00:08:23,990
Sure, should I grab
some Kenny G CDs too?

155
00:08:24,026 --> 00:08:25,525
Some Chuck Mangione?

156
00:08:25,561 --> 00:08:27,127
That would be lovely!

157
00:08:27,162 --> 00:08:30,097
Oh, I-I get it, they're popular,
so you don't like them.

158
00:08:30,132 --> 00:08:32,666
Just please get your sax.

159
00:08:34,770 --> 00:08:36,136
Airport shuttle?
160
00:08:36,171 --> 00:08:39,473
Yes, I'm going on a trip
with a special little girl.

161
00:08:39,508 --> 00:08:41,341
That baby is adorable.

162
00:08:41,377 --> 00:08:43,710
Oh, it's not the baby.

163
00:08:43,746 --> 00:08:46,313
Great, now I've got
both daughters mad at me.

164
00:08:46,348 --> 00:08:48,548
May I say that you sound
like a terrible mother?

165
00:08:48,584 --> 00:08:51,485
But no one ever cares what
the shuttle bus driver thinks.

166
00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:53,720
"Take me to terminal four,"
they say.

167
00:08:53,756 --> 00:08:55,689
Actually, we're
at terminal three.

168
00:08:55,724 --> 00:08:58,392
Arguing with everyone
today, aren't you?

169
00:08:58,427 --> 00:09:00,293
Okay, we'll see you
on Monday, Homer.

170
00:09:04,633 --> 00:09:06,633
I'm feeling really sad too, Dad.

171
00:09:06,668 --> 00:09:08,468
Nothing cheers people
up like a baby.

172
00:09:08,504 --> 00:09:10,270
Hey!

173
00:09:10,305 --> 00:09:12,406
Boy, we each have to do our
part, and I'm gonna make dinner.

174
00:09:12,441 --> 00:09:13,707
And I'm gonna start with...

175
00:09:15,310 --> 00:09:16,977
Ice cream!

176
00:09:17,012 --> 00:09:18,178
Come back!

177
00:09:18,213 --> 00:09:19,946
Don't make me jog.

178
00:09:19,982 --> 00:09:23,483
Why is your father chasing
after the spay and neuter van?

179
00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:24,851
You got me.

180
00:09:24,887 --> 00:09:26,153
What do I do with you?

181
00:09:28,657 --> 00:09:30,524
Hey, this is fun.

182
00:09:36,965 --> 00:09:38,465
Wow. Wow!

183
00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:40,100
I like having a sister.

184
00:09:40,135 --> 00:09:42,169
Helps that you
don't say anything.

185
00:10:02,758 --> 00:10:05,559
I wonder how you are at pranks.

186
00:10:07,329 --> 00:10:11,364
We're not worthy.
We're not worthy.

187
00:10:12,734 --> 00:10:14,067
I'm back!

188
00:10:14,102 --> 00:10:15,535
Don't drop that angel.

189
00:10:15,571 --> 00:10:19,573
Hi, folks, and welcome to the
Capital City Dream Tour.

190
00:10:19,608 --> 00:10:22,576
If you're here for the
Capital City Crime Tour,

191
00:10:22,611 --> 00:10:23,743
that leaves in 20 minutes.

192
00:10:25,647 --> 00:10:28,548
Let's wave to that to that
ordinary hot dog vendor.

193
00:10:31,687 --> 00:10:34,754
Wow, he's anything<i> but</i> ordinary.

194
00:10:37,092 --> 00:10:38,792
You know, I wouldn't
be surprised

195
00:10:38,827 --> 00:10:43,096
if he turned up one of Capital
City's Broadway-caliber shows.

196
00:10:55,677 --> 00:10:57,043
There's got to be something here

197
00:10:57,079 --> 00:10:59,779
that'll calm down
little yellow pill.

198
00:10:59,815 --> 00:11:01,581
Here comes Paul

199
00:11:01,617 --> 00:11:02,883
 To guard the mall

200
00:11:02,918 --> 00:11:05,685
But when will he
fall in love?

201
00:11:07,923 --> 00:11:09,623
Hey, G.I. Jane

202
00:11:09,658 --> 00:11:11,625
Let's make it plain

203
00:11:11,660 --> 00:11:14,127
How do you train for love?

204
00:11:16,632 --> 00:11:17,831
Men in black

205
00:11:17,866 --> 00:11:19,599
We'll state a fact

206
00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:23,003
The thing that
you lack is love.

207
00:11:23,038 --> 00:11:25,839
I always like when a black guy
teams up with a white guy.

208
00:11:25,874 --> 00:11:27,908
It gives us hope.

209
00:11:27,943 --> 00:11:29,743
That's the show for Lisa.

210
00:11:29,778 --> 00:11:31,945
She'll love it!

211
00:11:31,980 --> 00:11:33,780
<i>The Bad News Bears?</i>

212
00:11:33,815 --> 00:11:35,181
Is there nothing so beautiful

213
00:11:35,217 --> 00:11:38,018
that they won't keep exploiting
till it's worthless?

214
00:11:38,053 --> 00:11:39,986
Well, they're expensive,

215
00:11:40,022 --> 00:11:43,023
which means if I die,
you're still taking me.

216
00:11:43,058 --> 00:11:45,625
Also, I bought you a little
present from a street vendor.

217
00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:46,693
They're earrings.

218
00:11:46,728 --> 00:11:49,296
He's a cool cucumber, huh?

219
00:11:49,331 --> 00:11:52,098
Mom, I'm really not
into jewelry right now.

220
00:11:52,134 --> 00:11:54,301
You're not wearing
your pearls.

221
00:11:54,336 --> 00:11:56,703
Um, the clasp wasn't working.

222
00:11:56,738 --> 00:11:57,938
I can fix it.

223
00:11:57,973 --> 00:11:59,613
There are some things
that can't be fixed.

224
00:11:59,641 --> 00:12:01,041
What are you saying?

225
00:12:01,076 --> 00:12:03,743
You really don't understand

226
00:12:03,779 --> 00:12:05,946
how much this has hurt me.
227
00:12:05,981 --> 00:12:09,015
Jazz is my thing, and you
said you loved my thing,

228
00:12:09,051 --> 00:12:10,984
but you lied.

229
00:12:11,019 --> 00:12:12,953
You'll have a daughter
someday, too.

230
00:12:12,988 --> 00:12:15,121
And when she yells
at you like that...

231
00:12:15,157 --> 00:12:16,157
she'll be right.

232
00:12:19,194 --> 00:12:21,962
<i> Oh, who can sit</i>
<i>with their back turned</i>

233
00:12:21,997 --> 00:12:24,130
<i>as their mother is crying?</i>

234
00:12:26,935 --> 00:12:29,803
<i>A jazz musician, that's who.</i>

235
00:12:29,838 --> 00:12:31,638
<i>Well, you guys understand.</i>

236
00:12:31,673 --> 00:12:33,907
Don't look at me,
I'm a pity present.

237
00:12:33,942 --> 00:12:36,209
I'm just glad
I'm not in a salad.

238
00:12:40,390 --> 00:12:43,992
Oh Grand Papa,
<i>es muy glamouroso.</i>

239
00:12:44,027 --> 00:12:47,695
<i>Solo lo mejor para my princesa.</i>
240
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:53,435
Why didn't I get in the
<i>quinceaera</i> game years ago?

241
00:12:54,571 --> 00:12:55,537
Uh, excuse me, sir,

242
00:12:55,572 --> 00:12:57,739
I have three sisters turning 15.

243
00:12:57,774 --> 00:12:59,574
Oh boy.

244
00:12:59,609 --> 00:13:01,309
Can you hold baby Maggie here,

245
00:13:01,344 --> 00:13:03,778
while I check out<i> las tiaras</i>
<i>para la quinceaera?</i>

246
00:13:03,814 --> 00:13:06,581
Oh, a cute little rugrat like
that? You betcha.

247
00:13:06,616 --> 00:13:08,850
Hey, look at ol' Gil
holding a baby.

248
00:13:08,885 --> 00:13:10,518
I'm not even dropping it.

249
00:13:10,554 --> 00:13:12,520
Oh! Why did I say that?

250
00:13:12,556 --> 00:13:14,289
Now it's all I can think about.

251
00:13:15,859 --> 00:13:18,827
Oh, every time I get a great
job, I drop a baby.

252
00:13:24,734 --> 00:13:27,335
<i> If I can just get her</i>
<i>to share an armrest,</i>
253
00:13:27,370 --> 00:13:28,603
<i>that would be a start.</i>

254
00:13:30,273 --> 00:13:31,706
Hmm...

255
00:13:33,743 --> 00:13:36,511
A ragtag bunch of misfits

256
00:13:36,546 --> 00:13:39,180
And a no-goodnik rub-a-dub

257
00:13:39,216 --> 00:13:42,016
How can I make them winners

258
00:13:42,052 --> 00:13:43,585
In baseball

259
00:13:43,620 --> 00:13:45,553
And at love?

260
00:13:45,589 --> 00:13:46,988
Hm.

261
00:13:48,825 --> 00:13:52,427
Corey Leak is a hip-shakin',
rule-breakin' bad boy

262
00:13:52,462 --> 00:13:53,862
I'm a bad boy.

263
00:13:53,897 --> 00:14:00,602
But I've got a crush
on Amanda, so

264
00:14:00,637 --> 00:14:04,038
I will mend my roughish

265
00:14:04,074 --> 00:14:10,111
Way...

266
00:14:10,147 --> 00:14:11,112
s-ah!

267
00:14:11,148 --> 00:14:13,948
Oh.

268
00:14:13,984 --> 00:14:15,717
Here comes the tying run.

269
00:14:15,752 --> 00:14:17,418
Tie, Corey, tie.

270
00:14:18,121 --> 00:14:19,521
You're out!

271
00:14:19,556 --> 00:14:22,624
To you, I'm out

272
00:14:22,659 --> 00:14:28,429
But to me, I'm home

273
00:14:28,465 --> 00:14:30,331
Time for the

274
00:14:30,367 --> 00:14:34,936
Show stopper

275
00:14:34,971 --> 00:14:36,004
Yeah!

276
00:14:36,039 --> 00:14:40,675
The big cork popper

277
00:14:42,112 --> 00:14:44,212
<i>Lisa, you're gonna have to</i>
<i>admit it,</i>

278
00:14:44,247 --> 00:14:46,314
<i>your mom has</i>
<i>the bad taste of...</i>

279
00:14:46,349 --> 00:14:48,249
<i>well, a mom.</i>

280
00:14:48,285 --> 00:14:50,185
<i>I'm gonna have to mother</i>
<i>myself.</i>

281
00:14:50,220 --> 00:14:52,754
You quit complaining,
and pretend you like it.

282
00:14:56,326 --> 00:14:58,226
<i>I knew she'd come around.</i>

283
00:14:58,261 --> 00:15:00,228
What's all this nonsense?

284
00:15:02,699 --> 00:15:04,933
Quit clapping,
I've got a hangover.

285
00:15:04,968 --> 00:15:07,569
We'll win the game

286
00:15:07,604 --> 00:15:10,004
Of love!

287
00:15:13,109 --> 00:15:14,576
Exit to your left.

288
00:15:16,313 --> 00:15:17,812
That's too tight, Bill.

289
00:15:29,926 --> 00:15:31,292
Wonderful.

290
00:15:31,328 --> 00:15:32,860
Did it do it for you too?

291
00:15:32,896 --> 00:15:34,596
Not yet.

292
00:15:34,631 --> 00:15:36,998
Stand back.
I said stand back.

293
00:15:37,033 --> 00:15:38,132
Who are you?

294
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:46,007
Oh, you were our
star tonight.
295
00:15:46,042 --> 00:15:48,743
That's a performance
I'll never forget.

296
00:15:48,778 --> 00:15:50,778
So what are you
sophisticated ladies up to next?

297
00:15:50,814 --> 00:15:53,214
Well, I thought we might
have an after show nosh

298
00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:54,382
at the Penny Loafer.

299
00:15:54,417 --> 00:15:56,618
Invitation noted and accepted.

300
00:15:56,653 --> 00:15:58,119
Well, good,

301
00:15:58,154 --> 00:16:01,856
because getting a table for
three is so much easier.

302
00:16:04,094 --> 00:16:06,294
Hey! You're not Nathan Lane!

303
00:16:12,802 --> 00:16:13,835
Here he comes.

304
00:16:13,870 --> 00:16:16,571
Aw, don't worry, Bart Jr.,

305
00:16:16,606 --> 00:16:18,172
Daddy will get that for you.

306
00:16:22,912 --> 00:16:24,979
Why you little...

307
00:16:25,015 --> 00:16:27,148
Dad, no! You're gonna
strangle a baby!

308
00:16:27,183 --> 00:16:28,850
Oh my God.

309
00:16:28,885 --> 00:16:30,184
That would've been horrible.

310
00:16:30,220 --> 00:16:31,653
Why you little...

311
00:16:31,688 --> 00:16:32,720
Turning...

312
00:16:32,756 --> 00:16:34,222
a sweet little baby...

313
00:16:34,257 --> 00:16:35,690
into a you!

314
00:16:36,826 --> 00:16:38,760
Bart, you're a great kid,

315
00:16:38,795 --> 00:16:40,328
but if I had
another one like you,

316
00:16:40,363 --> 00:16:43,197
I'd hang myself
from a highway overpass.

317
00:16:43,233 --> 00:16:46,000
Please, give your sister
the precious gift

318
00:16:46,036 --> 00:16:47,902
of not being you.

319
00:16:47,937 --> 00:16:49,237
Okay, Dad.

320
00:16:49,272 --> 00:16:51,306
Mags, it was fun
while it lasted.

321
00:16:53,243 --> 00:16:56,177
Huh? Ha! I didn't know
it was that easy.
322
00:16:56,212 --> 00:16:59,814
Stop that!

323
00:16:59,849 --> 00:17:01,049
Sideshow Bob!

324
00:17:03,687 --> 00:17:06,621
So, Lisa, think
we'll see any stars?

325
00:17:06,656 --> 00:17:08,690
Mom, it's a tourist trap.

326
00:17:08,725 --> 00:17:10,758
Celebrities don't actually
come in here.

327
00:17:10,794 --> 00:17:12,927
Until today, right?

328
00:17:12,962 --> 00:17:14,228
Well, you never know.

329
00:17:14,264 --> 00:17:16,597
I'll ask the hostess
if anyone's expected.

330
00:17:16,633 --> 00:17:18,666
Aw, she keeps doing this.

331
00:17:18,702 --> 00:17:19,967
I'm sorry, what?

332
00:17:20,003 --> 00:17:22,070
Every time she tries to
fix things between us,

333
00:17:22,105 --> 00:17:24,706
it just emphasizes
how different we are.

334
00:17:24,741 --> 00:17:27,208
For what it's worth,
my mom loved your show tonight.

335
00:17:27,243 --> 00:17:28,776
She pretty much sees
the best in everything.

336
00:17:28,812 --> 00:17:30,445
Amazing, really,

337
00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:33,381
considering she has a husband
who randomly shows up to work,

338
00:17:33,416 --> 00:17:36,217
a son who, God bless him, is
probably heading for the chair.

339
00:17:36,252 --> 00:17:38,019
And an ungrateful little girl

340
00:17:38,054 --> 00:17:40,421
who ignores her mother's frantic
attempts at reconciliation,

341
00:17:40,457 --> 00:17:42,957
and tells family secrets
to a total stranger.

342
00:17:42,992 --> 00:17:45,326
A total stranger
<i>The New York Times</i> calls

343
00:17:45,362 --> 00:17:46,861
"a charming presence."

344
00:17:46,896 --> 00:17:48,796
You don't know me at all!

345
00:17:48,832 --> 00:17:51,566
But hardly anybody likes jazz.

346
00:17:51,601 --> 00:17:54,068
Why should I expect my mom to?

347
00:17:54,104 --> 00:17:56,471
That's right, you have to see
the other side.

348
00:17:56,506 --> 00:17:58,906
The one that always
makes you wrong.

349
00:17:58,942 --> 00:18:00,274
Mom.

350
00:18:00,310 --> 00:18:02,877
Mom, I can't stay mad at you.

351
00:18:02,912 --> 00:18:04,779
I'm putting my pearls back on.

352
00:18:04,814 --> 00:18:06,781
Oh, thank you, sweetie.

353
00:18:06,816 --> 00:18:11,753
And I apologize for
expressing my sincere feelings.

354
00:18:18,094 --> 00:18:19,961
Why don't you show us
what you got, Lisa?

355
00:18:19,996 --> 00:18:22,196
That's right,
I learned your name.

356
00:18:22,232 --> 00:18:25,767
It's not all about me,
Andrew Rannells.

357
00:18:25,802 --> 00:18:27,902
20 bucks for
ten minutes with the sax.

358
00:18:35,245 --> 00:18:37,011
Hey, that little turd can play.

359
00:18:37,046 --> 00:18:38,780
I'm just getting warmed up.

360
00:18:42,118 --> 00:18:43,785
Don't tell me not live

361
00:18:43,820 --> 00:18:45,119
 Just sit and putter

362
00:18:45,155 --> 00:18:46,921
Life's candy and the sun's

363
00:18:46,956 --> 00:18:48,089
A ball of butter

364
00:18:48,124 --> 00:18:49,824
Don't bring around a cloud

365
00:18:49,859 --> 00:18:54,128
To rain on my parade

366
00:18:54,164 --> 00:18:55,229
<i>My</i> parade.

367
00:18:55,265 --> 00:18:56,330
Sorry.

368
00:18:56,366 --> 00:18:58,099
Don't tell me not to fly

369
00:18:58,134 --> 00:18:59,834
I simply got to

370
00:18:59,869 --> 00:19:02,837
If someone takes a spill,
it's me, and not you

371
00:19:02,872 --> 00:19:08,276
Who told you you're allowed
to rain on my parade

372
00:19:08,311 --> 00:19:10,211
Get ready for me, Love

373
00:19:10,246 --> 00:19:11,479
'Cause I'm a "comer"

374
00:19:11,514 --> 00:19:13,147
I simply got to march

375
00:19:13,183 --> 00:19:14,449
My heart's a drummer
376
00:19:14,484 --> 00:19:15,750
Nobody, no

377
00:19:15,785 --> 00:19:17,084
Nobody

378
00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:19,954
Is gonna rain on

379
00:19:19,989 --> 00:19:27,462
My parade...

380
00:19:30,834 --> 00:19:32,099
Well, what do you think?

381
00:19:32,135 --> 00:19:34,202
My golden girl.

382
00:19:37,894 --> 00:19:40,793
Straight ahead is the the
19th Street Liquor Store,

383
00:19:40,794 --> 00:19:43,729
the epicenter of the 1967 riots,

384
00:19:43,763 --> 00:19:45,429
which never fully stopped.

385
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,133
Ahead is the high rise

386
00:19:49,168 --> 00:19:51,535
where State Senator Wilcox
was shot in mid-air,

387
00:19:51,571 --> 00:19:53,437
as he plummeted to his death.

388
00:19:56,976 --> 00:19:58,308
Best trip of my life.

389
00:19:59,779 --> 00:20:05,079
== sync, corrected by <font color=#00FF00>elderman</font> ==
<font color=#00FFFF>@elder_man</font>
390
00:21:10,543 --> 00:21:11,576
Shh!