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Special
learn how
to be diplomatic
like a native speaker
03 Focus
Diplomacy series OWAD Business English Trainer | Oktober 2014
50
Shades of
Diplomacy
Chester Karras once described the perfect
diplomat as "Someone who can tell you to go
to hell in such a way that you look forward to
the trip." Why is it necessary to be diplomatic,
and when and how do we use language in or-
der to leave the right impression?
The many shades of diplomacy depend on Following 1. Apologizing, the next issues of OBET will
many factors: existing relationship, intention, cover diplomacy for 2. Clarifying, 3. Disagreeing, 4.
urgency, emotions, age group, power position, Interrupting, 5. Refusing, 6. Instructing, 7. Complain-
personality, gender, culture, social context, ing, 8. Warning, 9. Asking for Help, 10. Sympathizing.
and whether one is writing or speaking.
Straight translations can be dangerous. "Kom- Ich wnsche Ihnen viel Erfolg und
men Sie hier, bitte" feels fine in German, vor allem Spa!
whereas the English "You come here please"
could be rather offensive. "Would you mind Ihr
coming over here for just a moment" is fine, Paul Smith
whereby the addition of "if it's not too much
trouble, please!" is sliding towards sarcasm.
To kick off our series the top 10 most challenging sit- The vertical axis Formality is a function of power
uations for non-native professional speakers, today we distance. It progresses from idiomatic or colloquial,
are featuring Apologizing. to more formal respectful expressions. Although the
modern style is write as you speak, many people still
The + plus or - minus signs do not indicate good or bad write with more formality than they speak.
expressions, they simply indicate magnitude.
The horizontal axis Sophistication is a function of Ultimately, our choice of wording will depend on our in-
vocabulary frequency and shows how nuanced or tention, the situation and the style of our counterpart.
rhetorically complex the expression is.
HIGH (+) I very much regret any inconvenience you may have suffered
To kick off our series the top 10 most challenging sit- The vertical axis Formality is a function of power
uations for non-native professional speakers, today we distance. It progresses from idiomatic or colloquial,
are featuring Clarifying. to more formal respectful expressions. Although the
modern style is write as you speak, many people still
The + plus or - minus signs do not indicate good or bad write with more formality than they speak.
expressions, they simply indicate magnitude.
The horizontal axis Sophistication is a function of Ultimately, our choice of wording will depend on our in-
vocabulary frequency and shows how nuanced or tention, the situation and the style of our counterpart.
rhetorically complex the expression is.
HIGH (+)
Formality
As part of our on-going series the top 10 most chal- The vertical axis Formality is a function of power
lenging situations for non-native professional speak- distance. It progresses from idiomatic or colloquial,
ers, today we are featuring Disagreeing. to more formal respectful expressions. Although the
modern style is write as you speak, many people still
The + plus or - minus signs do not indicate good or bad write with more formality than they speak.
expressions, they simply indicate magnitude.
The horizontal axis Sophistication is a function of Ultimately, our choice of wording will depend on our in-
vocabulary frequency and shows how nuanced or tention, the situation and the style of our counterpart.
rhetorically complex the expression is.
HIGH (+)
Formality
As part of our on-going series the top 10 most chal- The vertical axis Formality is a function of power
lenging situations for non-native professional speak- distance. It progresses from idiomatic or colloquial,
ers, today we are featuring Interrupting. to more formal respectful expressions. Although the
modern style is write as you speak, many people still
The + plus or - minus signs do not indicate good or bad write with more formality than they speak.
expressions, they simply indicate magnitude.
The horizontal axis Sophistication is a function of Ultimately, our choice of wording will depend on our in-
vocabulary frequency and shows how nuanced or tention, the situation and the style of our counterpart.
rhetorically complex the expression is.
HIGH (+)
Formality
As part of our on-going series the top 10 most chal- The vertical axis Formality is a function of power
lenging situations for non-native professional speak- distance. It progresses from idiomatic or colloquial,
ers, today we are featuring Refusing. to more formal respectful expressions. Although the
modern style is write as you speak, many people still
The + plus or - minus signs do not indicate good or bad write with more formality than they speak.
expressions, they simply indicate magnitude.
The horizontal axis Sophistication is a function of Ultimately, our choice of wording will depend on our in-
vocabulary frequency and shows how nuanced or tention, the situation and the style of our counterpart.
rhetorically complex the expression is.
HIGH (+)
Formality
Don't Mention
The War! Brexit / /
_
Political minefields in the office:
Donald Trump and Brexit
_
14 Small Talk Professional OWAD Business English Trainer | May 2017
We used to say Don't Mention The making references to the war while Political minefields in the
War. Now, when dealing with Brit- serving a group of outraged Ger- office
ish and US colleagues and business man guests.
partners, we have to ask ourselves There are several ways to respond
how to handle topics that are on in a professional manner when po-
lots of people's minds: Donald litical topics arise in the office:
Trump and Brexit.
Avoid & deflect: If you really don't
Thanks to 24-hour news coverage want to discuss a particular topic,
and instant access to happenings you can deftly avoid or deflect the
around the world, these issues subject. People will get the sense
seep into our private conversa- that you might be uncomfortable
tions every day. Although they with the topic without you coming
have major implications for our right out and admitting it.
businesses and jobs, such topics
are nonetheless delicate and high- Empathise & express: By first tell-
ly-political. You have your opinion ing someone you understand how
and your business partners and they feel, you put them at ease, not
colleagues have theirs. There's a on the defensive. Express your own
50/50 chance your views will clash. opinion, but soften it by couching
it in general terms (people in Ger-
Seldom have we lived and worked many believe...we generally think
in such an emotional political envi- that...the consensus in other parts
ronment. But we all have our jobs of Europe is that...what I've read is
to do and many of us work at inter- that...).
national companies. The question The art of diplomacy
is how to get through this minefield Express & qualify: Here you can
without disrupting personal and Still, we can't live in a bubble and state an opinion upfront, but then
business relationships and without expect to be successful at work. "pad it" a bit to soften the landing.
impacting work activities. Consider for a moment the not so
uncommon practice of hanging out
in a hotel bar with business part-
Toxic mixtures ners and customers or at an airport Vocabulary Trainer
bar with colleagues. These days
An old adage says "Don't have there's a good chance the televi-
your money where your honey is." sion monitors will be showing Don- to seep into einsickern
Although this expression is mean- ald Trump on CNN one moment
delicate heikel
while a bit hackneyed, the message and a roundtable Brexit discussion
remains valid: don't mix romance on BBC the next. It's difficult to es- to clash mit etw. kollidieren,
and work. That's easier said than cape these touchy subjects in our with sth. aneinander geraten
done. We're only human after all. modern world. to throw a einen Strich durch die
The same goes for politics and wrench into sth. Rechnung machen
business. Generally speaking, such The question is, how do we handle
topics should be avoided. Bringing these inevitable situations when inevitable unausweichlich,
them up can create uncomfortable they arise? Telling someone that vorprogrammiert
situations. We all rely on personal you prefer not to discuss a certain to broach sth. etw. ansprechen
relationships at work to perform topic, without conveying your opin-
deftly geschickt
our jobs, so why throw a wrench ion, is an art in and of itself. Not
into them? offending someone who directly to couch sth. etw. formulieren
broaches the subject with you and
Political minefields can also be bad shares their view - uninvited - can
for business. An extreme, but still also be problematic. To help you
illustrative example is the infamous navigate these shallow waters, fol-
Monty Python sketch titled "Don't lowing are a few sample dialogues
Mention The War", in which British that you can adapt to our own
pub owner John Cleese insists on needs and the situation at hand.
15 Small Talk Professional OWAD Business English Trainer | May 2017
Situation 1
Customers from the UK visit your offices in Germany. During a meeting break, they engage in a discussion of
Brexit and try to get you involved.
Situation 2
You travel to your German company's offices in the US. At dinner with some of your American colleagues, they
probe your opinion on Donald Trump.
The following story was related to mistake and ignore the wink! Now even sex should be an important dis-
me by a client many years ago (names let's move quickly on to the agenda." cussion topic with colleagues at work,
have been changed): The discomfort lasted much longer and even with clients.
"How would you like your coffee?" than the one hour meeting!
asked Rachael, the senior VP's per- Humour is serious
sonal assistant. Her question was Nowadays, and more than ever be-
directed to a group of German fore, men need to be ultra-careful Many large companies have explicit
managers just before a meeting at about what to say to female col- guidelines regarding appropriate
their Boston headquarters. "I'll take leagues. Stanley Bing's hilarious novel behaviour and language. Men in
it black, hot, and sweet. Just like you!" "You look nice today" describes how a particular would do well to follow
answered Hermann with a wink. The man's entire career unravels after an these. British Petroleum's code of
resulting silence was described by innocent compliment to his neurotic conduct for instance, explicitly for-
Hermann's boss as "deafening". After assistant. bids telling jokes of a racial, ethnic,
what seemed like an eternity, the religious, disability, age or sexual
American VP came to the rescue with Notwithstanding, there are impor- nature, not only within the compa-
"I'll put that down to a translation tant reasons why gender issues and ny, but with customers, contractors,
suppliers, joint venture partners and
other third parties. Besides a highly
responsive HR department, BP runs a
24-hour hotline and has a dedicated
ombudsman to engage with compli-
ance disputes.
Another option is simply to ignore > "Thanks Ronnie, but you'll under- When all else fails, or even afterwards,
the male advance, but this may be stand that my significant other would talking openly about gender issues is
misinterpreted as shy interest and be less than happy if I were to accept always healthy. Just beware of what
leave the woman vulnerable to further that kind of invitation" you read. Popular psychology books
advances. like "Men are from Mars, Women are
The important thing about making a from Venus" or "Why Women Talk
The best strategy is to start soft and refusal is not to wait for one's coun- and Men Don't Listen" have done a
subtle, after all, why use a hammer terpart to answer, but to change the lot to emphasise how differently the
when a feather will do the trick quite subject quickly with a statement fol- sexes think and behave, but many of
nicely? lowed by an open question: their conclusions are based on shaky
assumptions and insufficient evidence.
The art of the soft "no" > "By the way, I understand you were
in Frankfurt some years ago. Has the The "fact" that the average woman
> "Mr Jones, I'll accept that compli- city changed much in the meantime?" speaks 20,000 words per day and
ment in the professional spirit I'm sure men only 7,000 went viral in 2006.
it was intended" > "On a different note, you might Never substantiated, this urban myth
be interested in our current music strengthened the belief that women
> "Oh dear, Mr Hopkins, I'm wonder- festival. Which genre would be your are not only the more talkative sex, but
ing how a native speaker would phrase particular favourite?" three times more. In the same spirit,
an elegant refusal to that charming we now have toilet-signage where the
request" > "Regarding the meeting, we're entire ladies door is painted with the
really excited about the new campaign. same word hundreds of times: "blah,
> "Really, Mr Watson! I'm sure you How do you suggest we kick-off?" blah, blah, blah," the gents has just
didn't mean what I think I heard you the single "blah"! BP would definitely
just say" not approve.
Paul Smith
Vocabulary Trainer
discomfort Unannehmlichkeit,
Unbehagen
put-down Demtigung
vulnerable gefhrdet
shaky zweifelhaft
insufficient unzureichend
13 Language Situations OWAD Business English Trainer | March 2017
Language Situations
by Ken Taylor, Senior Partner, Paul Smith Associates
So deuten Sie
verborgene Signale
_
Listening between the lines
_
14 Language Situations OWAD Business English Trainer | March 2017
We will never agree to what you I have some doubts about the
Our price for that
are proposing is a clear statement project.
of position. But if you add the quantity is $40,000. How many are some?
words in its present form, you im-
mediately indicate a potential will- Different quantity, different price! There seems to be a slight mis-
ingness to negotiate. understanding.
This is often used as a serious
Giving and understanding these These are extremely warning of difficulties.
kinds of signals are all part of the
skill of negotiating. But reading
reasonable conditions We just need a little more time.
between the lines in this way can we propose. Try to get your business partners
be a problem for a second lan- to specify how much more time
guage speaker. If your negotiating This is their preferred position, but they need.
partner says to you in English We its negotiable.
would find it extremely difficult to Qualifying difficulties is part of
meet that deadline, what does he Here are five more sentences with what many cultures need to keep
mean exactly? hidden signals. What is the possi- the business relationship harmoni-
bility for negotiation? The answers ous. Although it's usually not a de-
It's basically a question of listening are at the end of the article. liberate attempt to hide the truth,
between the lines. That means lis- be aware that soft words can some-
tening for words that make definite a) It is not our normal practice to times hide deep disagreement.
statements more tentative and pay within 30 days.
listening for statements that only Answers:
rule out one of the possible alter- b) We never give discounts of more
natives. Extremely difficult is not than 5 per cent. a) So whos normal? Its negotiable.
the same as impossible. And may-
be that deadline could be negoti- c) We are not prepared to discuss b) Never say never! And 1 per cent
ated too. this now. - 5 per cent are negotiable anyway.