Third Edition

Communicating
for Results
A Canadian Student's Guide

Carolyn Meyer

OXFORD
VNTVBRST'l'Y PRllSS
 OXFORD
VNTVllRSITY PR!JSS

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Library and Archives Canada Catalogulug lu Puhllcatlou

Meyer, Carolyn Margaret, 1962- , author
Communicating for results : a Canadian students guide I
Carolyn Meyer. - TI1ird edition.
lncludes index.
LSBN 978-0-19-900131-6 (phk.)
1. Business communicatiou- Canada- Texthooks.
2. Busine.~s writing-Can.ada-Texthook~. 1. Title.
HF'5718.M49 2014 651.7 C20B-9082l0-7

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 THEMATIC CONTENTS xiv
SUMMARY OF WRITIN G SAMPLES xv
SUMMARY OF CASE STUOIES xvii
FROM THE PUBLISHER xix
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS xxvl

1 Getting the Message Across 1

2 Getting Started: Planning and Writing Business Messages 45
3 Business Style: Word Choice, Conciseness, and Tone 71
4 Business Style: Sentences and Paragraphs 99
5 Memorandums, E-mail, and Ro utine Messages 127
6 Routine and Goodwill Messages 156
7 Delivering Unfavourable News 201
8 Persuasive Messages 233
9 Communicating for Employment 265
10 Informal Reports 309
11 Proposals and Formal Reports 377
12 Oral Communication 424
13 Social Media and Networking 461
Appendix A: Business Usage: A Style and Mechanics Guide 479
Appendix B: Grammar Handbook 507
NOTES 524
INDEX 532
THEMATIC CONTENTS xiv
SUMMARY OF WRITING SAMPLES xv
SUMMARY OF CASE STUDIES xvii
FROM THE PUBLISHER xix
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS xxvl

Getting the Message Across 1

Communicating for Chang e-and a Stronger Bottom Line-In the New Economy 2
Communicating In the Cu rrent Workplace 4
Communication Defined 10
Communication as a Field of Study 11
The Communication Process 12
Elements of the Communication Process 12
Barriers to Effective Communication 14
Communication Contexts 15
Non-Verbal Communication 16
Components of Non-Verbal Communication 18
Communicating In Organizations 21
Internal and External Commu ni cation 21
Essential Skills for Workplace Communication 21
Informal and Formal Channels 22
The Flow of Information 22
Ethical Communication 23
Ethics and Legal Responsibilities of Business Communication 23
Ethical Lapses and Why They Happen 24
Cross-Cultural Communication 27
Communicating in a Global Economy 27
Diversity in the Workplace 27
Understanding Cultural Differences 28
lntercultural Communication Defined 28
High- and Low-Context Communication Styles 30
Communicating lnterculturally 30
Privacy In the Workplace 32
WORKSHOPS AND DISCUSSION FORUMS 37
WR ITING IMPROVEM ENT EXERCISES 39
CASE STUDY EXERCISES 41
ONLI NE ACTIVITIES 43
 CO NTE NTS

WORKSHO PS AND DISCUSSION FORUMS 260

WRITING IMPROVEM ENT EXERCISES 260
CASE STUDY EXERCISES 262
ONLI NE ACTIVITIES 264

Communicating for Employment 265

Analyzlng Your career Goals and Quallficatlo ns 266
Assessing Your Skills and Values 266
Assessing Your Work Preferences and Personality 267
Assessing Your Work History 267
Job-Hunt ing 268
Usi ng Llnkedln and Twitter to Establish an Onllne Presen ce 271
Linkedln 271
Twitter 273
Writing Persuasive Resumes 274
How Employers Use Resumes 274
Resume Writing Style 274
Parts of a Standard Resume 276
Resume Length 279
Resume Styles and Layouts 279
Preparing a Scannable Resume 284
Preparing an E-mail Resume 286
Preparing a Persuasive Appllcatlon Letter 288
General Tips for Cover Letters 288
Solicited Application Letters 289
Unsolicited Applicat ion Letters 292
E-mail Cover Letters 293
Job Applicat ion Round-Up: Some Additional Tips 295
Career Po rtfolios and ePortfollos 295
Jo b Interviews 296
Before the Interview 296
Behavioural Interview Questions and How to Prepare forThem 297
At the Interview 298
After the Interview 299
Follow -Up Employment M essag es 300
Follow-Up Letter 300
Thank-You Letter 300
Job-Offer Acknowledgement 300
Job-Acceptance Letter 300
Job-Refusal Letter 300
Reference-Request Letter 301
WORKSHO PS AND DISCUSSION FORUMS 303
WRITI NG IMPROVEM ENT EXERCISES 306
ONLIN E ACTIVITIES 308
Getting Started: Planning and Writing Business Messages 45
Writing In Context: Four Key Concepts 46
Contextual Factors 46
Genres 47
Discourse Communities 47
Rhetorical Situations 47
Steps In the Writing Process 48
Message Planning 49
Prewriting 50
Organizing and Outlining 58
Drafting 59
Revising and Editing 61
Collaborative Writing 64
Critiquing Others' Work 66
WORKSHOPS AND DISCUSSION FORUMS 67
WR ITING IMPROVEM ENT EXERCISES 69
ONLINE ACTIVITIES 70

Business Style: Word Choice, Conciseness, and Tone 71

Word Choice 72
Plain Style 72
Word Choice Step 1: Use Familiar Words 74
Word Choice Step 2: Use Fresh and Current Language 76
Word Choice Step 3: Keep Language Specific, Precise, and Functional 78
Word Choice Step 4: Practise Factual and Ethical Commuinication 79
 CON TE NTS

Achieving Conciseness 81
Tone 86
Tune in to Word Connotations 86
Keep Your Style Conversationa l 87
Select the Right Level of Formality: Personal and Impersonal Styles 87
Be Positive 88
Stress Reader Benefits and Relevance 89
Be Polite 90
Use Inclusive Language 90
Write with Confidence 92
WORKSHOPS AND DISCUSSION FORUMS 94
WR ITING IMPROVEM ENT EXERCISES 94
ONLIN E ACTIVITIES 98

Business Style: Sentences and Paragraphs 99

Effective Sentences 100
The Building Blocks of Complete Sentences: Phrases and Clauses 100
Types of Sentences 101
Improving Sentence Variety and Length 103
Phrasing Basic Types of Questions 104
Improving Sentence Clarity 105
Writing with Consistency 106
Writing Balanced Sentences: Parallel Structure 106
Writing for Emphasis 107
Applying Active and Passive Voice 110
Eliminating Grammar Errors and Awkwardness 112
Effective Paragraphs 116
Paragraph Length 116
Topic Sentences 117
Paragraph Development 117
Paragraph Coherence 118
Proofreading 120
WORKSHOP AND DISCUSSION FORUMS 121
WRITING IMPROVEM ENT EXERCISES 122
ONLINE ACTIVITIES 125

Memorandums, E-mail, and Routine Messages 127

Memorandums 128
Memo Format 129
Memo Organization 130
Formatting Lists for Memos and E-mai I 131
Paper Memo vs. E-mail 133
 CONTEN TS

E-mall 135
General E-mail Guidelines 136
Reading and Processing Incoming Messages 138
Formatting and Writing E-mail 139
Replying to E-mail 140
E-mail Style and Tone 141
Routine Messages: Positive and Informative Memos and E-mail 142
Routine Messages: Request Memos 144
Routine Messages: Reply Memos and E-mail 145
Goodwill E-mail Messages 145
Follow-Up Memos and E-mail 146
Instant M essaging (IM) 148
WORKSHO PS ANO DISCUSSION FORUMS 150
WRITING IMPROVEM ENT EXERCISES 15 1
CASE STUDY EXERCISES 152
ONLI NE ACTIVITIES 154

Routine and Goodwill Messages 156

Direct Writing Plan 157
Requests 158
Requests for Information, Credit, and Action 159
Order Requests 161
Claim Letters 163
Responses 166
Information Response 166
Personalized Form Letters 168
Order Acknowledgement 168
Messages Confirming Contracts and Arrangements 170
Claims Adjustment 172
Goodwill Messages 174
Thank-You Letters 175
Letter of Congratulations 179
Letter of Sympathy 180
Informative Letters 181
Announcements 181
Cover or Transmittal Letters 181
lnstriuctional Letter/Memo 182
Letter Formats 185
Letter Balance and Placement 185
Letter Styles and Layouts 185
Letter Elements 185
Addressing Envelopes 191
WORKSHOPS AND DISCUSSION FORUMS 192
WRITING IM PROVEM ENT EXERCISES 197
CASE STUDY EXERCISES 198
ONLIN E ACTIVITIES 200
 CO NTE NTS

Delivering Unfavourable News 201

Goals of Negative Messages 202
Tone In Bad News Messages 203
Organizing Bad News Messages 205
Direct Writing Plan for Bad News Messages 205
Using the Direct Writing Plan 205
Limitations of the Direct Approach 207
Indirect Writing Plan for Bad News Messages 207
Using the Indirect Approach 207
Bad News Buffers 208
Explaining the Bad News 208
Revealing the Bad News 210
Goodwill Closing 211
Indirect-Approach Message 212
Limitations of the Indirect Strategy 212
Apologies in Bad News Messages 213
Types of Bad New Messages 2 15
Refusing Requests for Information, Actions, and Favours 215
Refusing Claims 217
Refusing Credit 218
Turning Down Job Applicants 220
Announcing Bad News to Employees 223
Declining Invitations 225
WORKSHOPS AND DISCUSSION FORUMS 228
WRITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES 229
CASE STUDY EXERCISES 230
ONLINE ACTIVITIES 232

Persuasive Messages 233

Writing Persuasively 234
Preparing to Write Persuasively 234
Persuasive Appeals 236
Indirect Writing Plan for Persuasive Messages 238
Types of Persuasive Messages 239
Favour and Action Requests 239
Persuasive Memos 241
Claim Requests 242
Collection Letters 247
Sales Messages 250
Aiming to Make a Sale: Analyzing the Product and Audience 251
Writing Plan for Sales Letters 251
Fundraising Messages 258
 CONTENTS

Informal Reports 309

Introduction to Report Writing 31 O
Factors In Successful Reports 310
Content 310
Clarity 311
Skimmability 311
Informal vs. Formal Reports 31 1
Distinguishing Features of Short Reports 312
Purpose 312
Frequency of Submission 313
Common Categories 313
Formats and Distribution 313
Direct and Indirect Approaches 314
Direct Approach: Informational and Analytical Reports 314
Indirect Approach: Analytical Reports 315
Writing Style for Short Reports 315
Headings 315
Steps In the Writing Process 317
Planning 317
Researching/Analyzing Data and Information 317
Composing and Revising 318
Elements of Informal Reports 320
Introductory Statement 320
Findings 320
Summary/Conclusions/Recommendations 321
Using Graphics and Visuals 321
Tables 322
Matrixes 323
Pie Charts 324
Bar Charts 325
Picture Graphs 327
Line Graphs 328
Gantt Charts 329
Flow Charts 329
Organizational Charts 330
Commonly Used Short Reports: Informational and Analytical 332
Informational Reports 332
Analytical Reports 353
WORKSHOPS AND DISCUSSION FORUMS 372
WRITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES 372
CASE STUDY EXERCISES 375
ONLINE ACTIVITIES 376
 CON TEN TS

Proposals and Formal Reports 377

Proposal s 378
Elements of Informal Proposals 379
Elements of Formal Proposals 380
Writing Style for Proposals 382
Sample Informal Proposal 382
Common Mistakes in Writing Proposals 386
Research in g and Collect ing Data 387
Formal Reports 389
Preparing to Write Formal Reports 390
Writing Style for Formal Reports 391
Creating a Work Plan 391
Time Management 392
Peer-Reviewing and Team Writing 392
Elements of Formal Reports 395
Front Matter 395
Body of the Report 397
Back Matter 399
WORKSHOPS AN D DI SCUSSION FORUMS 420
WR ITING IMPROVEM ENT EXERCISES 420
CASE STUDY EXERCISES 421
ONLINE ACTIVITIES 422

Oral Communication 424

Ora l Presentations 425
Types of Oral Presentations 426
Analyzing the Situation and Audience 426
Structuring Presentations 427
Developing a Three-Part Presentation 428
Oral Presentation Outline 429
Using Visual Aids 430
Types of Presentation Aids 431
Designing a PowerPoint Presentation 435
Prezi 437
Pecha Kucha Presentations 438
Methods of Delivery 438
Rehearsing a Presentation 440
Delivering a Presentation 441
Handling Questions 442
Team-Based Presentations 444
Special-Occasion Presentations 444
 CONTEN TS

Organizing and Managing Meetings 446

Types of Meetings 446
Preparing for a Meeting 446
Conducting a Meeting 449
Meeting Minutes 451
Groupware-Supported Meetings 451
Communicating by Telephone 452
Making Calls 452
Receiving Calls 453
Using Voice Mail Productively 454
Dealing with the Media 454
WORKSHOPS AND DISCUSSION FORUMS 457
WRITING IMPROVEM ENT EXERCISES 458
ONLINE ACTIVITIES 460

Social Media and Networking 461

Web 2.0 and the New Media Landscape 462
What Is Participatory Culture? 463
What Is Social Media? 464
Types of Social Media 466
Biogs 466
Social Networks 467
Micro-biogs 469
Photo- and Video-sharing Sites 471
The Social Media Advantage 471
The Risks and Challenges of SociaI Media 472
Measuring Social Media Performance 474
WORKSHOPS AND DISCUSSION FORUMS 476
WR ITING IMPROVEM ENT EXERCISES 477
ONLINE ACTIVITIES 477

Appendix A: Business Usage: A Style and Mechanics Guide 479

Usage 479
Abbreviations and Acronyms 499
Numbers 500
Capitalization 502
Usage-Related Internet Resources 505
Salutations and Complimentary Closes: A User's Gulde 505
Standard Phrases and Their Plain-Language Alternatives 506
 CONTENTS

Appendix B: Grammar Handbook 507

Subject- Verb Agreement 507
Verb Tense Accuracy 511
Other Verb Problems 512
Using Passive-Voice Constructions 513
Avoiding Logically Mismatched Subjects and Verbs (Faulty Predication) 514
Using Simliar Phrasing for Items In a Serles (Parallelism) 515
Making Comparisons Clear and Logical (Sentences with Than or As) 515
Using Pronouns with Precision 516
Correcting Modifier Mishaps 517
Comma Usage 519
Other Forms of Punctuation 520
Internet Resources: Grammar, Style, and ESL Guides 523

NOTES 524
INDEX 532
Active Listening 21 - 2, 31, 65, 299, 454

Audience Analysis 50, 51 -4, 183, 205, 235, 251, 315, 390, 426- 7, 441
Collaboration 8, 16, 64-6, 392, 395, 444, 446, 449-51

Direct Approach 157-9, 205-7, 213, 314- 15, 333, 355-6

E-mail 133- 4, 135-48, 149, 286, 288, 293, 294, 452

Ethics 6- 7, 23- 6, 53, 79- 80, 166, 237- 8, 251, 284, 322, 473
Indirect Approach 32, 207- 13, 238, 315, 333, 356
lntercultural Communication 16, 27-32, 33-4, 90-1, 157

Non-Verbal Communication 16-20, 31, 296

Privacy/Security 5, 26, 32- 6, 54, 136, 137, 295, 472- 4

Reader-Centred Writing/You-Attitude 89- 90, 203- 4

Revising/Editing 61 - 3, 318- 20

Social Networking 9, 269, 271 - 3, 466- 71

Visual Aids 107-8, 321 - 31, 430-8
 Jn todays fast-paced, globally connected world, effective communication is essential to suc-
cessful business practices. With the expansion of the knowledge-based economy, Canadian
employers are- now more than ever- increasingly interested in hiring individuals who are
able to communicate dearly and effectively. Globalization poses new challenges to traditional
modes or communication, a5 traditional spatial barriers virtually cease to exist. New tech-
nolob>ies can provide solutions to such challenges, hut these tools must first he undtTstood.
ln addition to comp rehending the changing business environment, businesspeople
must possess strong lan1:,uage skills. They must know not only what needs to he said but
also how to say it. An effective writing style hegins with a consideration of the basics:
grammar, tone, word choice, conciseness, and rhetorical techn.iques. But advanced busi-
ness writers must also consider strategic composition strategies and persuasive document
planning and have a thorough understanding of their audience's needs.
Building on the foundation of its predecessors, this third edition of Communicating
for Results contin ues to address these needs hy providing students with a thorough un-
derstanding of how to effectively communicate in Canadian business environments. A
unique, bands-on approach engages students in the processes of critical thinking, stylistic
development, and content evaluation. Extensive models and organizational plans for let
ters, e-mails, report.5, and presentations-as well as extensive exercises based on real-life
situation5--help to simplify the wri ting process, banish writers block, and ease fears about
puhlic speaking. Checklists and review hoxes, along with handbooks to grammar and
mechanics, summarize key point.5 for easy reference.
Throughout, this approach emphasizes practical knowledge that will give students
a head st.art in the busi ness world. They will develop confidence in their skills and \vill
ultimately have everything they need to become competent and successful communicators
who get t.heir message across, get noticed, and get results.
CHAPTER 5
Sample PaperBased Memo 134
Ineffective Informative E-mail Draft 142
Effective Informative E-mail 143
E-mail that Requests 144
E-mail that Responds 146
Thank-You E-mail Message 147
Follow-Up E-mail Message 147
CHAPTER 6
Ineffective Information Request (extract) 159
Improved Information Request 160
Sample Order Request (in simplified style)
162
Ineffective Claim (extract) 163
Effective Claim 164
Effective Information Response 167
Ineffective Information Response (extract)
168
Sample Form Letter 169
Sample Letter Confirming Arrangements 171
Ineffective Claim Response (extract) 172
Effective Claim Response 173
Appreciation for Business 176
Appreciation for Hospitality 177
Appreciation for Service or Favour 178
Letter of Congratulations 179
Letter of Sympathy 180
Sample Directive/Instructional Message
(E-mail) 184
Putting the Elements Together 190
CHAPTER 7
Ineffective Direct-Approach Message (extract)
206
Effective Direct-Approach Message 206
Refusing Requests for Information, Actions,
and Favours 216
Ineffective Claim Refusal (extract) 218
Effective Claim Refusal 219
Ineffective Credit Refusal (extract) 220
Effective Credit Refusal 221
Ineffective Employment Refusal (extract) 222
Effective Employment Refusal 223
Announcing Bad News to Employees 225
Ineffective Refusal of Invitation (extract) 226
Effective Refusal of Invitation 227
CHAPTER 8
Ineffective Favour Request (extract) 239
Effective Favour Request 240
Ineffective Persuasive Memo (extract) 242
Effective Persuasive Memo 243
Persuasive Memo II 244
Ineffective Persuasive Claim (extract) 245
Effective Persuasive Claim 246
Sample Collection Reminder Letter 247
Sample Collection Inquiry Letter 248
Sample Collection Demand Letter 249
Ineffective Sales Message (extract) 254
Effective Sales Message 255
Effective Sales Message II 256
Sales Follow-Up 257
CHAPTER 9
Chronological Resume 280
Functional Resume 282
Combination Resume 283
Scannable, Computer-Friendly Resume 285
Sample Plain-Text Resume 287
Ineffective Solicited Letter of Application
(extract) 290
Effective Solicited Letter of Application 291
Ineffective Unsolicited Letter of Application
(extract) 293
Effective Unsolicited Letter of Application 294
CHAPTER 10
Ineffective Conference Report 335
Effective Trip Report (Memo) 336
Effective Trip Report (Abbreviated E-mail) 338
Activity Report 340
COMMUNI C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
Sample Progress Report 342
Sample Job Completion Report 345
Sample Incident/Accident Report 348
Sample Problem-Investigation Report 351
Recommendation Report: Direct Writing Plan
357
Recommendation Report: Indirect Writing Plan
359
Feasibility Report 363
Comparison Report 366
CHAPTER 11
Sample Informal Proposal 383
Sample Work Plan 393
Sample Formal Report in APA Style 403
CHAPTER 12
Ineffective Transparency 433
Effective Transparency 434
Sample PowerPoint Slide 435
Sample Meeting Agenda 448
CHAPTER 1
The Ethics of Job Slogging 41
Ethical Dilemmas in Fundraising 42
lntercultural Communication Non-Starter 42
Cross-Cultural Communication online
CHAPTER 2
Know Your Audience online
CHAPTER 3
The Style that Confuses online
CHAPTER 4
Toy Pigs and Poor Sentence Structure online
CHAPTER 5
E-mail that Informs: Design Show Trends 152
E-mail that Informs: Counterfeit Internet
Coupons 153
E-mail that Informs: Retirement Dinner 153
Goodwill E-mail: Retirement Congratulations
153
E-mail that Requests: Reaction to Proposed
WLAN on Campus 153
E-mail that Responds: Reaction to Proposed
WLAN on Campus 153
E-mail that Informs: Relocation of Scheduled
Retreat 154
E-mail that Follows Up: Confirmation of Details
for Intramural Office Teams 154
Thanks, I Guess, and Thanks Again onli ne
CHAPTER 6
Information Request: Business Etiquette
Agencies 198
Information Request: Internship Program 198
Order Request: Home-Decorating Items 198
Order Request: Company Novelty Items 199
Claim Request: Product or Service Problem 199
Claim Request: Mismatched Office
Components 199
Follow-Up Letter: Confirmation of Telephone
Conversation 199
Information Response: Mentorship Program
199
Order Response: Company Novelty Items
200
Claim Response: Mismatched Office
Components 200
Letter of Appreciation: Country Club
Afternoon 200
Transmittal Letter: Proposal for Restoration
Project 200
Is Anyone Listening? online
CHAPTER 7
Refusing a Request: Case Study Article 230
Refusing a Claim: Return Policy on Opened
CDs 230
Refusing a Claim: Coverage for Additional
Moving Expenses 230
Refusing a Claim: Deck Repair 230
Refusing Credit: Office Furniture Purchase 231
Announcing Bad News to Employees:
Changes to Office Catering 231
Announcing Bad News to Employees: On-Site
Fitness Program for Employees Only 231
Announcing Bad News to Employees:
Postponement of Holiday Party 231
Announcing Bad News to Customers: Virus
Problem for Internet Customers 232
Announcing Bad News to Employees: Office
Relocation 232
I Regret to Inform You online
CHAPTER 8
Favour Request: Volunteers for Fund raising
Event 262
Favour Request: Judge for Fashion Show
Benefit 262
Favour Request: Volunteers for an Outreach
Program 262
COMMUNICATING FOR RESULTS

Persuasive Memo: Workplace Situations 262 Recommendation Report: Improvement to

Persuasive Memo: Problem-Solving 263 School Services 376
Claim Request: Adjustment to Fees 263 It's a Matter of Form on line
Claim Request: Gift Card Redemption 263
Collection Letter Series: Reminder, Inquiry, and CHAPTER 11
Demand 264 Informal Internal Proposal: Workplace
Sales Letter: Bicycle Courier Services 264 Improvements 421
Sales Letter: Low-Carb Catering Business 264 Informal Internal Proposal: Working from
You're Not Going to Like This, But.. . on line Home 421
Informal Internal Proposal: Mobile Devices
CHAPTER 9 421
Ask Not What the Company Can Do For You Informal Internal Proposal: Request for IT
online Services 421
Informal External Proposal: Public Speakers
CHAPTER 10 Wanted 421
Investigative Report: Equipment forTeam- Formal External Proposal: Store Rebranding
Bui lding Retreat 375 421
Investigative Report: Field Trip Destinations Formal Report: Customer Service Complaints
375 421
Periodic Report: Work- Study Placement 375 Formal Research Report Requiring Secondary
Investigative Report: Research Summary 376 Research 422
Progress Report: Project Summary 376 Am I Repeating Myself? online
Progress Report: Status of Office Renovations
376 CHAPTER 12
Recommendation Report: Promotional Music Too Much Information online
Salon 376
FROM THE PUBLIS HER

Highlights of the Third Edition

A new chapter on social media and networking examines key social media tools
and how they can be used by individ uals and businesses to identify trends, promote
prodt1cts and services, and interact with customers.
New chapter vignettes and photos illustrate each chapter's main themes with
real-Life examples.
An ell.11anded opening chapter introduces current tre11ds in the workplace-such as
the globalization of business practices, the focus on team-based work environments,
the importance of corporate social responsibility, and t.he ever-increasing reliance on
new technologies such as social media-and identifies how these trends impact how
we communicate.
New discussions of communicating in the new economy, writing in context, ;;md using
social media to find employment highHght various aspects ofhusiness communication.
Increased coverage of int.ercultural communication , privacy conce rns, collaborative
writing, and oral presentations give more insight into these topics.
APA and MLA documentation guidelines for business reports ensure that students
can cite their research properly.
A marginal glossary defines key terms and concepts at their first appearance in
the text.
A11 extensive suite of online ancillaries enhances student learning.
 FROM THE PUBLISHER

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LEARNING OBJECTIVES

1. Identify the llnk between effective business
communication and personal career success.
2. Recognize key changes and trends In the
workplace, especially those Influenced by
technology.
7. Examine the flow of communication wlthl n
organizations.
8. Identify the goals of ethical business
communication and apply standards to avoid
ethical lapses.

3. Describe the communication process. 9. Contrast the communication differences

between high-context and low-context
4. Identify communication barriers and apply
cultures.
strategies for overcoming them.
1o. Ease the flow of communication between
5. Explain the Importance of non-verbal
and across cultures.
communication.
11. Identify workplace privacy Issues and apply
6. Analyze the systems and mechanisms
strategies to safeguard personal Information.
for communicating Inside and outside
organizations.
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

THE ABILITY of businesses to manage and adapt to change Is currently a popular topic
with communicators. For example, at a 2012 International Association for Business
Communication (IABC) event, former International president Julie Freeman stated: current
market forces such as economic uncertainty, globalization, a more diverse workforce, Innov-
ations In technology and demands for transparent and socially responsible behaviour are
compelling organizations to change the way they do business. And when organizations
change, so must th e communicators that serve them."' For Freeman, the better employees
communicate, the more they are engaged and the stronger a company's financial results
tend to be. Understanding company goals and strategies and being able to b ring that
strategy to life Is one of the roles of communicators, but the challenges don't stop there.
Globalization has made It more important for communicators to position their messages for
multiple audiences worldwide and to understand how their organization's finances Impact
their communications.

Communicating for Change- and a

Stronger Bottom Line- in the New Economy
Canada's inn ovation performance ranks 14 out of 17 major industrialized nations. At the
Conference Iloard of Canada Ilusiness Innovation
Summit 2013, leaders from across the country met
to dL~cuss raising this stat.us. According to Roger
Garrick, managing director of Canadian Operations
at Desti nation Imagination, we need to improve
the four Cs in school currk ulum; creativity, cri tical
Watch Peter Aceto explain the
importance of communication in thinking, com munication, and collaboration skills.
the Canadian workplace: http:// Peter Aceto, president and CEO of ING Direct and
goo.gl/83hpy1 . 2010 recipient of the IABC Communicator of the
Year (COTY) Award , believes that the solution lies
in embracing the power of social media; " I believe
social media's impact on business wi ll one day be
likened to the ind ustrial revolution .. . . We all see
a dramatic s hift underway. Some co mpani es are
being run d ifferently today. And more im portantly,
they will have to he run differently tomorrow." 2

~I
~: The COTY Award is presented annually to
aToronto-area leader who demonstrates
[!]: . . excellence in communication. Judging
criteria include success in developing
communication strategies, effective use of internal and
external communication, and communication with diverse
audiences. For more details, visit http://toronto.iabc.com/
award/coty/.
Whatever the answer to raising Canada's pos-
ition as an innovator might he, communication is a
crucial part of it. Good communication matters-
now more than ever in business. In todays diverse,
wired, global business enviro n menL~. e veryone
communicates for a living. It L~ impossible to work
in an office setting without havi ng to write a report,
dash off an e-mail message, compose a fom1al lette r,
partici pate in a meeting, carry on a telephone con-
versation, network and collahorat.e wi th colleagues
and associates, make a presentation, or use Weh
2.0 and .1.0 technologies to cany out any or these
 1 I GETTI NG THE MESSAGE ACROSS

h.mcli.011s. Spoken and written communication that is focused, reliable, and disciplined
has the power to influence opinion and shape perceptions on which an organization's
competitiveness, productivity, and success depend. Good communication plays a crucial
role in building credibility and upholding standards of accountability in a global busines.~
environment, where relationshi ps thrive on trust. How you write, speak, and listen on the
job reflects who you are professionally, how you treat others, and how you do business.
Done well, your communication can empower you and he the means to promotion
and success. Language is, after all, a powerful tool worr.h the effort of learning to use well.
Effective communication can cut through the complexities of business, clarifying h.izzy
concepts and making masses of data both meaningful and manageable for those who must
use it and make decisions based on iL
Successful communication on the job doesn't merely happen by chance. It is the result
of learning how to structure your infom1ation strategically-of using text, desib'll , and tech-
nologies to achieve an intended purpose for a clearly defined audience. Delivering informa-
tion effectively can depend on a fine balance between you and your audience, between a
commitment to your business goals and an awarenes.~ of your audiences needs. Delivering
information at Internet speed, as so many jobs now require, may demand a little more than
simply familiarizing yourself with the basic rules of grammar, spelling, and punctuation. It is
also a matter of keeping up with changes and developing an accessible, functional style that
is fleidblt: enough to he applied to the many fom1s of communication in your workplace.
Good communkation makes good business sense. l:ven though the ability to com-
municate effectively is thought of as a "soft skill"- one o f the social and self-management soft skill a social, Interpersonal, or
behaviours that help people take action and get results--as opposed to a "hard s kill"- the language skill that complements a
person's technical skills.
know-how, tools, and techniques that equip people to work in a professional capacity-
research has shown that communication is important to success. In a 200.'i publica- hard skill a technical skill that a
tion entit.led SUCCESS, the Canadian Advanced Technology Alliance (CATA) revealed that, person requires for a specificJob.

among 100 Canadian business leaders, communication was a top attribute linked to
leadership skil l~. Communication capabilities are not just a pathway t.o career advance-
ment but also a route to a healthy bottom line. Terry Matthews, founder and chairman
of Wesley Clover, a private equity and investment management firm, sees new graduates
with specific skill sets as part of I.he formula for corporate success in the future economy:
"It's not always the ones with the highest marks. Rather, lt's the people with the hard work
ethic, c reativity and good communication skills."3
According to a survey of 120 human resources directors, American businesses spend
$3.1 billion annually training their employees to write. With the enom1ous cost of poor
communication, the ability to communicate effectively is now a top-ranked skill among
Canadian employers. The Conference Board of Canada argues that progress in the work
world depends on t.he ability to do the following:

read and understand information in many fom1s

speak and wri te to command attention and promote understand ing
actively listen and appreciate other points of view
share infom1ation via a range of technologies
use scientific and technological skill~ to clarify ideas
manage information by gathering and organizing it through the use of technologies
and information systems
apply and integrate knowledge and skills from other disciplines'
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

Besides heing a hase ror further development, these skills bring lasting benefits to those
who can apply them, the organizations where they are practised, and- more i11directly-
the stakeholders who must interact with them. Advantages include enhanced problem-
solving and decision-making; increased efficiency, workll ow, and productivity; and
improved professional image, business relatio11ships, and group dynamics.

Communicating in the Current Workplace

As previously indicated, profound changes are OCL'tlrring in the Canadian workplace- and
beyond- with implications for learning, job req uirements, sought-after busi11ess talent,
hiring, and the quality of work life. This 1.ransformation encompasses several factors:

a changeover to a knowledge-hased Internet

the adopt.ion of revolut.ionary information and communication technolobries (ICTs)
new team-based work environments wi th flattened hierarchies and a more diverse
employee hase
expectations for sustainahility, ethical practice, and corporate social responsihi.lity (CSR)
highJy competitive global markets

Communication is the cornerstone in the new and rapidly evolving workplace, bringing
together core functions.
T he knowledge economy. Whereas Canada's economy used to he based on 1.he
products people made from raw materials through manual labour, the information age
has mad e it knowledge-based. The knowledge wo rker makes and sells some kind of
idea-based product: software, consulting and financial se rvices, music, design, or phar-
maceuticals. The advantage that knowledge products have over those produced through
manual labour is that their value can dramatically increase as the global market expands;
the challenge in a knowledge economy Ls to ensure continued funding for research and
development (R&:D), to continue to draw on an educated workforce trained i11 critical
thinking, and to fight the problem of "brain drain," the loss of ex-perts to other countries.
Richard Florida, an urhan studies theorist and head of the Martin Prosperity Institute at
the University of Toronto's Rotman School of Management, believes that creativity is the
driving force of economic probrress and source of competitive advantage. He claims that
"the creative age" has seen the rise of two social classes: the creative class-comp rised of
workers in science and technology. arts and culture, entertainment, health care, law, and
management- and the service class.6
Spurri ng the spread of Lnfom1ation , utilities
and search engines such as Google and open-
access husiness information engines have become
equalize rs, helping to make the acquisition of
Watch Richard Florida explain "Why knowledge more democratic so that everyone can,
Creativity is the New Economy" in this potentially, know almost anythi ng they want at any
video address to the Royal Society
given time. It is understood that workers should
for the encouragement of the Arts, Manufactures and
have both the skills to utilize such resources to
Commerce: http://goo.gl/KwtJuO.
find and evaluate information and the kl.low-how
to process and communicate it effectively. The
infonnation age makes researchers of us all, no
matter what our occupation or job profile. Shared
 1 I GETTI NG THE MESSAGE ACROSS

Toronto's Centre for SociaI

Innovation (CSl)- a communal
space that offers members
shared workspaces, networks,
and knowledge- ls a Jiving
example of Richard Florida's
clalm that the new economy
Is driven by our ability to put
our own and others' creativity
to work.

workspaces-or areas hosted hy a web server where colleabrues can share information and ICTs tochnologles, such as
document.So-and company intranet.s--where employees can share insider information in mobile phone systemsand the
a protected web environment- are prime examples of how tbis era ls radically reshaping Internet, used for transmitting,
manipulating, and storing data by
business environments.
electronic means.
The concept of the risk society. With its forces of modernization, our society is one
that sociologists Anthony Giddens and Ulrich Ileck have called a "risk society." 7 Dangers piracy the ur)authorlzed
reproduction and distribution or
include not only environmental rL~ks, such as natural dL~asters, hut al~o manufactured
copyrighted material, Including
risks that are complex, catastrophic, and can affect ma11y people. Examples of risks in vtdeo games, software, music,
ICTs include piracy, cyherwarfare, and identity theft. Sen11ity breaches result in lost and fllms.
or compromised data, as well as a loss of trust, that can hallll commerce and a companys cyberwarfare a form of
credibility, reputation, and bottom line. Institutions such as governments and businesses Information warfare, usually the
au.empt to control risk hy building t.rust, establishing cross-border co-operation , and conducting of politically motivated
sabotllge through hacking.
forging n.etworks.
Managing risk is essential for the active risk-taking that allows a dynam ic economy Identity theft the act of acquiring
to continue. Preventive measures and regulation are part. of this effort, as are the special- and collecting an Individual's
ized protocols of crisis and risk communication. Data security, cyhersecurity, and defence personal Information for
criminal purposes.
against a spectrum of threats to comm unication from com puter viruses, hacki ng, and
other fom1s of cyhe rattack continue t.o he I.op concerns for o rgan izations. risk communication an
Interactive exchange of Information
Ffatter organizations. Organizations are hy tradi ti on layered and hierarchical.
and opinion on risk among risk
Manage rs from the top down at. many levels are entrusted with making the decisions assessors, risk managm, and other
and setting the strategies for action to he carried out by front-line employees \vith whom Interested parties.
they may or may not he in direct contact. As organ-
izations strive for great.er cost savings, efficiency,
competitiveness, and sustainability, management
hierarchies may he flauened , with fewer divisions.
This decentralization and democratization of the
Watch Ulrich Beck discuss living in
wo rkplace, with fewer middle managers to pass
and coping with world risk society:
along an.cl interp ret directions, makes for shorter
http://goo.gi/Kn5jJ3
commun.kation chains; therefore, every individual
must he a skilled communicator if company prod
ucts and services are going to make it into the mar
kel. As husiness guru Thomas J. Friedman, author
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

of Tht: World Is Flat, ohserves, "When tlie wo rld

st.arts t.o move from a primarily vertical (command
and control) value-creation model to an. increas-
ingly horizontal (connect and collaborate) creation
Listen to John Larsen of the
model, it doesn't just affect how husiness gets
Corpen Group discuss communicating
done. It affects everything."" The old autocratic
risk in this CBC Radio broadcast: http://
style of husiness management is heing replaced
900.91/QgrFGr.
with a more participatory one, where communica-
tion helps to huild trust and understanding and to
motivate others.
Sustainability and corporate social respon-
sibility. Corporations hold significant power and
influence in the worl d. Jn fact, 42 of the 100 largest economies in the world are compan-
ies. 10 According to Kristen Coco, strategic comm unications consultant at the UN Glohal
corporate social responslblllty Compact (UNGC), the corporate social responsibility movement was horn in the 1990s
(CSR) a company's vo luntaiy amid growing stakehold er concerns over environmental catastrophes (such as the sink-
contributions to sustainable
development through the support
ing of t.he Exxon Valdez oil tanker), the first sustai nability reports from forward-looki ng
of nonprofit organizations and/or companies such as Ben &: Jerry's, and the emergence of the anti-globalization movement. 11
the creation of soctally conscious Today, important initiatives such as the UNGC drive transparency on how corporations
corporate policies.
earn tht'ir money, treat thei r employees, and protect the planet's finite resources. The UNGC
asks companies to embrace, support, and enact core values related to part.icular areas:

human rights
labour standards (such as bans on forced and child labou r, recogn ition of collective
bargaining rights, and elimirnat.ion of employment discrimination)
the environm ent (adoption o f environmen tal protection initiatives and environment
ally friendly technologies and use of precaut.ionary approaches to environm emal
challenges)
anti-conuptio n (zero tolerance for all forms of corruptio n, includin g bribery
sustainable development and extortion)
economtc development that
maintains natural resources Communicating these values to st.akeholders has become more important as int.erest
for future generations and in sustainable development and relat.ed concepts of CSR, corporate ethics, citizenship and
recognizes the relationship
between economic, social, and accotmtahllity, and the t.riple bottom line of environment, economy, and society brrows. 12
envtronmental Issues. According to the Certified General Accountants Association of Canada, 80 per cent of
companies listed on the Toronto Stock Exchange
in 2008 reported some type of sustainability prac-
tice. i:i Reporting st1st.ainahle development is more
than a PR exerdse. Through a combination of vol-
untary and mandatory disclosures, sustainability
Canadian Business for Social reporting can accomplish many objectives:
Responsibility offers links to more than
60 resources on sustainability and CSR: strengt.hen the link hetween a company and
http://goo.gi/UVKvtd. its stakeholders and increase stakeholder value
hoost financial performance
showcase efficiency in production and lead to
better use of company assets and innovative
technology
 1 I G ETTI NG TH E ME SS AGE ACRO S S D
increase the com pany's appeal to socially
respo nsihl e investo rs
build industry credihiHty, set an example, and
enhance company reputation
Watch Professor Mark Schwartz of York
Busiiness o n a global scale. The world's
University discuss business ethics and
economy is hecom ing increasingly global- to
CSR in this video: http://goo.gi/RrpwdA.
the point where, since 2000, the world seems to
have shrunk. This is d ue, in large part, to seve ral
key factors:

web hrowsers promoting connectivi ty and the

free fl ow of infonn ation
software (such as PayPal) and othe r com-
munication platfo rms promoti ng wider
co-operation
open-sourcin g (or softwa re in th e public
domain that users are permitted to change and Watch this video on CSR from the
im prove) University of St. Gallen: http://goo.gi/
outsourci ng and offsho ring (designing at home btm36.
and red istributing customer service functions
and production facilities to distant countries)
"amplifiers" that are digi tal, virtual, mobile,
and personal (cellphones, smartphones, chips,
file sharing, VoIP, WiFi)

The glohalized business structure provides new opportmtities as well as challenges

for Canadian workers and their organizations. Canadian products must compete in inter-
national markets, yet the brands we may think of as 100 per cent Canadian may in fact he
produced, in whole or in part, in other countries. For example, Canadian aerospace and

" In June 2013, Apple revealed

the latest version of Its Mac
Pro computer at Its Worldwide
Developers Conference.
To create local jobs, the
company will manufacture
the computer In the United
States. This decision Indicates
that stakeholders are
Interested In more than just
a company's products.
Soun:e: C1nadlM1 PTess/AP Photo/
Erk Rlsborg
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
diversity th<! understanding,
acknowledging, valuing, and
celebrating of differences among
people with respect to gender.
race, ethnicity, age, sexual
orientation, religiousbelief, and
physical ability.
communication a transactional
and relational process Involving
the meanlngF\11exchange
of lnformauon.
transportation giant Bombardier has facilities in 25 countries. 14 Furt.hem1ore, in.vestment
from foreign-based companies an d emerging super economies such as China has jumped
dramatically, and the trend toward outsourcing and offsho ring customer servi.ce functions
continues. 11 The need to explore new and emerging markets, negotiate, buy and sell over-
seas, market products, and enter int.o joint ventures is anchored in effective cmumu11ica-
1.ion with people from around the world, without wh ich none o r these functions could
he accomplished. The ability to communicate across cultural harriers, time zones, and
language divides--and to exercise intercultural sensitivity hy respecting differences in cus-
toms, lifestyles, religions, and business etiquette- is crucial to the success of ope rations in
this new global economy.
More diverse employee base. Most employee constituencies in present-day Canada
reflect differences in ethnici ty, age, race, gender, physical abilities, and sei..'Ual orientation.
Thi.s diverse, multi-generational wo rkforce is not si mply the outcome of Canada~ success
in attracting talented immigrants or in cultivating social responsibility through fair and
equitable employment policies; it is a matter o r good econom ic sense, as companies cap-
italize on talents, expert.ise, creativity, and strengths across diverse groups to obtain greater
productivity and competitive advantage. Without I.his deep talent pool, Canada could
very well lose out on opportunities for growth. RBC Financial Group refers to this practice
as "t.he diversity advantage" and cites it as a defining business trend in the twenty-first
century. 10 Because of the demographic makeup of most. workp laces and the interact.ions
brought about by a world wide economy, managing and promoting diversity is an import-
ant componen t of management. Organizational policies and practices will contin ue to
he vital in sustaining an incl usive work environment. in which all individuals are valued,
respected, and treated with dii,'llity.
Team work environments_ ln the twenty-first cent.ury, business is cond ucted by
teams. According to IBM strategL~tJoel Cawley, "We are not just communicating more than
ever before, we are now ahle to collaborate- to build coalitions, project.~. and products
together- more than ever before."11 Collaboration in the broadest sense is at work in
"open data" and crowdsourcing initiatives, such as a private-sector app that Torontonians
can use to report potholes or British Columbia's "Apps 4 Climate Action ," an initiative
that challenged the software industry to create applications that would make government.-
released data on carbon emissions useful. 18
Collahorat.ion through cross-functional teams, in which individuals of different areas
of expertise come together to share infom1ation for a common goal, makes the most of a
wo rkforces creative potential by increasing individual involvement in decision-making
and project development. Innovations in infom1ation technology and mobile communica-
tions have made it possible for employees to he part of virnial project teams, which can
eliminate time and space harriers- by allowing team members to work from home or
other off-site locations beyond a st1ict 9-to-5 workday- and still provide quality, low-cost
solutions to organizational problems. Working in teams, however, depends on good com-
munication and I.he interpersonal skil l~ to overcome conflicts that arise when people wi.th
differing viewpoints must make joint decisions. Special training is often required to help
teams boost perfom1ance by managi ng con~flict and practising open communication.
Advancing communication tedmologies. Technology and language use shaped
hy technology now filter our perspective of the world. Our communication..~ are medi-
ated through many different tech nologies and electronic forums, most of which did not
exist JO years ago: laptops; e-mail and e-mail innovations such as IMAP accounts and
 1 I GETTI NG THE MESSAGE ACROSS

auto responders; t.ahlet computers; smartphones and or.her hand-held wireless devices;
Bluetooth technology; instant messaging (IM); t.ext messaging; voice mail; proprietary
Voice over IP services (VoIP) such as Skype; podcasts; mohile apps such as Basecamp
and WehEx; space-defying video con rerencing and weh conferencing; presentation soft-
ware such as PowerPoint, Prezi, and Keynote; interactive software that can change the
sequence of information; wehlogs; wikis; virtual worlds; cloud computing; and, on the
horizon, wearahle computers such as Google Glass. Not only do these technologies allow
us to communicate farther and faster, hut they also enable us to communicate around the
dock- to the point where we are always using one technolob'Y or another. 10 As Michael
Sandel comments in The World ls /:lat, "Developments in information tech nology are
enabling companies to squeeze all the inefficiencies and friction out of their markets and
business operations."20
Connectivity through the World Wide Web. Web 1.0 (the read-only web) was
invented in the early 1990s and continues to enable users t.o find information through
tools such as browsers, search engines, and portals and to exchange infom1ation through
applications such as e-mail. Weh 2.0 (read- WTite) applications such as hlogs, wikis, peer-
to-peer file sharing, social networking platforms, and virt.ual worlds represent a great leap
forward hecause they allow users to communicate, collaborate, and socialize, as well as
to create, distribute, and share content. Web romiats such as Really Simple Syndication
(RSS) feeds allow frequently updated wo rks to he puhlished and new content to he
syndicated automatically.

Social networki ng sit.es: Facebook, YouTub e, Linkedln, Tumblr, Instagram ,

Pinterest, Reddit, Yammer, Salesforce Chatter, and Twitter. Facebook began as
a tool- or what the sit.e calls "a social utility"- to "give people the power to share
and make t.he world more open and connected . . . t.o stay connected with friends
and famlly, to discover what's going on in the world, and to share and express what
matters to them." 2 ' This networking plat.fom1 lets users cont.ml the information they
share with ot.hers, and this tool for self-presentation has been quickly embraced hy
marketing-savvy corporations. Twitt.er, t.he micro-hllogging tool t.hat allows users to
send and read "tweets" of up to 140 characters, has hecome one of the fastest b>rowing
social networking sites, according to tracking firm HubSpot lnc. Viewed by some as
a productivity-slashing time-waster, Twitter also offe rs corporate representatives--
including Peter Aceto-the chance to build trust and promote corporat.e values such
as transparency. 22
Web 3.0 (the transcendent web). Businesses are beginning to plan for the next gen
eration o r web technology- and for the privaLy concerns it brings. Web 3.0 encom-
passes artificial intelligence (Al) technolob'Y social media, the semantic web (which
allows for more sophisticated and personalized searching), and the Internet of t.hings
(dubbed loT, a network o r lnterconnected weh devices) 23 According to global man-
agement consulting fim1 Booz &: Company, Weh 3.0 will transfom1 busines.~. espe-
cially the on line media and retail industries, over the next five to ten years.24 Web 3.0
promises the unprecedented ahility to connect and to communicate with customers
and, through real-time analytics, to capture data about their online act.ivit.ies that can
then he used for sales and marketing as well as product development. Where technol-
Ob'Y such as radio freq uency identification (RF!D) tags was once used only for hask
tasks, such as tracking stock in a warehouse, over six hillion IP-ready objects could
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

he connected to the Internet hy 201.5, with products such as the Nike Fuelhand,
a wearable monito r, rep resenti ng the leadi ng edge of this technology. 2' Companies
that have already embraced Web 3.0 include Dell, which has created a community
of one million online users to test products and provide feedback on design, and
Amazon. whkh uses Al to provide customer recommendations based on h1dividual
browsing histories.2
Mobile apps for business. The 2012 lpsos Canadian Interct.ive Reid Report states
that 37 per cent of Canadians have mobile Internet access. Of the 31 per cent who
0\"'11 a smartphone, .57 per cent have downloaded a mobile application.21 As a result,
businesses have been quick to take advantage of mobi le apps. Business-to-business
(B2B) apps are used to suppo rt an o rgartization's internal business processes such as
customer-relations hip management, warehouse management, and sales-Co rce auto
mation. Business-to-consumer (B2C) apps fulfill different needs: 28
Content-oriented apps, such as Twitter and IM, answer the need for information,
com munication, entertainment, and socialization.
Marketing-oriented apps promote brands and excel in targeting them to a younger,
digitally native demographic. A 2010 Leger Marketing study found that 90 per
cent of Canad ian organizations utilize social media as a public engagement r.ooL
Canadian companies such as Molson-Coors use mobile apps as mainstays o r their
com mimications planrting, with well-knowi1 apps such as a branded pat.io finder
helping to build brand awareness. 20 Worldwide, companies such as Debenham\;
UK have capitalized on this trend by offering customers a dedicated app ror vis-
iting virtual pop-up stores across the country. Shoppers can then view d resses
available at a specific location, try them on using augmented reality technology.
and purchase them at a 20 per cent di..~count. 30 Paramount Studios creat.ed mohile
media ads for Trnnsfonne-rs J that allowed users to download wallpaper for t.heir
iPhones and view exclusive trailers.
Service-oriented apps allow users to perform tasks such as online hanking. shop
ping, or consulting schedules.

Productivity is getting a major boost rrom the thousands of service-oriented mohile

applications, using a variety of operat.ing systems now on the market, including multi-
platform note-taking apps such as Evemote, business-planning app StratPad, file-syncing
app Dropbox for Teams, and calendar-scheduling app Speaktoit. 31

COMMUNICATION DEFINED
The term wmmunicati<m derives from a Latin root wo rd meaning "common." Having
something in common through the transmission of ideas, emotions, and skills-through
sharing knowledge and exchangLng inrom1ation- lies at the heart of the act of comm uni-
cation. Comm unication has hee n defined as "a transactional process of shari ng mean
ing with others"12 and as "a human process through wh ich we make sense out of the
world and share I.hat sense with others." 33 More simply, communication is the sharing
of synlhols--words, images, gestures--to create meaning. Through communication we
assign meanings based on our social and cultural contexts and reb'1.1late the world around
us hy the stories that we make up about it and share. T.f storytelling, as narrative theorists
believe, is one way to view communication, then it is also a means by which we act on the
world, whether to persuade or dissi.1ade or si mply provoke a response from others.
 1 I G ETTI NG TH E ME SS AGE AC RO S S

COMMUNICATION AS A FIELD OF STUDY

Communication does not simply happen-it is something that is learned and requires skills
beyond the ability to talk, which most of us are born with. lnqi1iries hy soc:ial scientists,
industry specialists, and cultural studies scholars have led to a fuller understanding of how
we communicate and the skills that we need to carry out our communications effectively.
Comm unication can also easily break down, and when it does, communication theory can communication theory a
help explain what happens when we comm unicate and why certain symbols may he taken system of Ideas for explaining
communication.
as meaning different things.
The US-based National Cmn mu11ication Assodatfon defines I.his field of research as
one that "focuses on how people use messages to generate meanings within and across
contexts, cultures, channels, and the media. The discipline promotes the effective and
eth ical practice of human comm unications."' 4 The large, interdisciplinary and extraordin-
ari ly diverse field of communication research continues t.o grow rapidly all over the worl d.
Accordi ng to the International Communication Association (ICA), this growth "reflects
the need to seek answers to urgen t social problems involving communication (e.g., child
developm ent, family li fe, cultural development and preservation, quality of li fe, and polit-
ical communication among political systems and nations)."l' It is now possible to think of
comm unication stud ies as havi ng many branches and as s haring theories and assumptions
with a wide array of disciplines such as sodolOb'Y psychology, political science, law, phil-
osophy, and linguistics. These many contexts are re flected in the 2.5 research divisions set
out by organizations such as the ICA, many of which are s hown in Table 1.1.

TABLE 1.1 Areas of Communication Research

CONTEXT CONCERNED WITH

Communication and technology psychological and sociological issues related to computer-mediated communication, human-
computer interaction, social interaction and networking, and other impacts of technology

Communication law communication policies that underlie law and regulation

Environmental communication the interplay between the environment and communication in any setting
Global communication and production, distribution, content, and reception of communications media at global levels
social change

Health communication the role of communication theory, research, and practice in health promotion and health care
lntercultural communication the theory and practice of communication between and among different cultures
Intergroup communication the ways in which communication within and between groups affects social relations
Interpersonal communication small-group processes and relationship development

Mass communication
Organizational communication
Public relations
Visual communication
the transmission of messages through mass media, such as print and cinema, and the differing
impacts of those messages
the processes of communicating and organizing in global society and its contexts, such as
government and non-government agencies, profit and non-profit organizations, health care
co-operatives, and global corporations
the understanding of communication between organization and target groups or publics
the meaning and function of all forms of visual representation, including still and moving
images in print and digital media, film, television and video, and art and design
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
rhetoric th<! use of languag<! to
pmuade an audience.
semantics the study or the words
and symbolswe choos<l.
semiotics the study or how
meaning Isassigned and
understood.
cybernetics the study or how
Information Is processed and how
communication systems function.
message any typ<! of oral, written,
or non-verbal communication
that Is transmitted by a sender to
an audience.
The effort to discover what we can do t.o commurticate more effectively can likewise he
approached through many different theoretical frameworks-from the study of the prac
tical art of discourse (rhetoric) and t.he way our hehaviour is influenced hy the words and
symbols we choose (semantics) to how meaning is as.~i&rned and understood (semiotics)
and how information is processed and communication systems function (cybernetics).
No matter how specialized the different contexts and suhdiscipli nes o r commu nication
appear t.o he, they are neve rth eless linked by common theories, structures, and processes.
In the pages and chapters that follow, we will explore these common factors as well as the
distinctive branches o r communication that are intebrrated in workplace practice.
The Communication Process
The idea of exchange L~ fundamental to modern communication theory, which k1 its vari
ous hranches helps to explain some of the more hasic tasks of wri ting and speaking for
business. Communication without t.he involvement or a partner(s) is like a tennis match
with just one player. Communicat.i.on can he und erstood in terms of three characte1istics:
situated (embedded in a particular environment or socio-cultural context)
relational (involves the ahility to interact effectively and ethically according to what is
needed at a given moment)
transactional (exists as a co-operative activity in which people adapt to one another)
Communication isn't simply something that is done to or.hers; it is cond ucted together-
a process in which both sender and receiver are involved in a necessary if not entirely
equal partnership.
ln concept1.1al t.erms, comm unication can he thought of not as a thing hut as a process
of transfening dat.a from a sender to a receiver as efficient.ly and accurately as possible.
This exchange takes place through the use of a code- a language or a set of sib'l1S and
symbol~ (e.g., words or gestures)- that transm iL~ a thought through a channel and carries
an agreed-upon meaning within a particular cont.ext, with t.he aim of eliciting a response
from the receiver. The receiver must he ahle to understand, with certainty, what is signifi-
cant about the data and make meaning out of it in o rder for this active, ongoing, and ever-
changi ng process to be truly effective. Through communication we assign meanings and
take possession of the world around us, though the realities we create are shaped hy our
different cultural expe1iences and individual knowledge.
ELEMENTS OF THE COMMUN ICATION PROCESS
One of the first conceptual models of comm unication was developed over sixty years ago
hy Claude Shannon, an engineer at Bell Telephone Lahoratories, and Wanen Weaver, a
sdentist and mathematician. By attempting t.o establish how a message, when converted
into electronic sibrnals, could he t.ransmittecl from one point to anot.her in the quickest,
most efficient, and most error-free way, they came up wit.h a hroad definition of com-
munication as "all of the procedures hy which one mind may affect another"l6 and a model
for communication that represented it as a dynamic two-way process. For con:unun.ka
t.ion to occur, according to this mathemat.kal theory, there must he hoth a source and a
destination- someone at one end to formulate and launch the message and someone at
t.he other end to receive it and respond to it (see Figure 1.1). The success of this process
 1 I GETTI NG THE MESSAGE ACROSS

depends on the ext.mt to which a message received corresponds to the message trans-
mitt.ed or to which the input and the output correlate. The goal is for the message to he
understood as it was intended. The process, unfortunately, is not always as simple and
st.raightfonvard as i.t sounds. Difficulties wi.th transmission, reception, and interference
have 1.he potential to disrupt the process.

Sender
The sender, also known as the transmitter or communicator, is the person or group with sender the parttclpant In the
a particular idea or purpose in mind and an i.ntention to express that purpose in the rom1 transactton who has an Idea and
communlCiJt~s It by encoding It
of a message. The fom1 that the idea ultimately assumes- its content, tone, emphasis, In a message.
and orga nization- is shaped hy the sender's context, knowledge, attitudes, background,
and other assumptions based on the senders experience. The act of taking ideas and put- encoding the! act of converting
Ideas Into code In order to convey
ting them into a code is known as encoding. The message can he encoded verbally or a written, oral. or non verbal
non-verhally-in writing. speech, or gestures-with the goal that it will eventually he message.
understo od. For this to happen, however, the sender must consider the receiver's context,
knowledge. attitudes, and comm unication skills and then choose the right code to convey
the intend ed meaning; otherwise, the commmticati.on transaction can fail.

Channel
The channel is the medium by which the message is physically transmitted. Delivery can channel a communlcatlon
he by spoken word, letter, memo, report, telephone, computer (e-mail), voice, or ges- pathway or medium over which
a message travels.
ture. Choosing the optimal chan nel depend.~ on a variety of factors discussed later in thi..~
chapter. A medi um can he synchronous (i.e., enabling the com mi.mication t.o take place
directly, at the same time or in real time) or asynchronous (i.e., allowi ng for a transfer of
informal.ion that L.~ stored or archived and accessed later, so that sender and receiver do
not need. to he present at the same time). Face-to-face conversations, telephone conver
sations, synchronous text chat, and audio and video conferencing involve synchronous
delivery and allow for the most spontaneous interaction and rapid feedback. E-mail, faxes,
wehlogs, and discussion hoard.~ allow for asynchronous delivery. which allows for more
time to reflect on a message.

Sender's Field Receiver's Field

of Experience of Experience

Receiver
Sender Receiver
encodes decodes
message
message message
and reacts

Noise Noise

: ......... ~ Feedback ..............~ .............................. .

FIGURE 1.1

Transactional Communication Model

 CO MMU N I C ATI N G FO R RESU LTS
receiver the pe1son for whom
a message Is Intended and who
decodes the message by extracting
meaning from It
decoding theactofextractlng
meaning from spoken, written, and
non-verbal communication.
feedback the receiver's response
to a message that conflrms If the
ortglnal message was received
and understood.
noise any form of physical or
psychological Interference that
distorts the meaning of a message.
communication barriers
problems that can affect the
communication trans.action,
lead Ing to conruslon or
mlsundersmndlng.
channel overload the
Inability or a channel to carry all
transmitted messages.
Information overload a
condition whereby a receiver
cannot process all messages due
to their Increasing number.
emotional Interference a
psychological factor that creates
problems with the communication
transaction.
semantic Interference
Interference caused by ambiguity,
Jargon, language or dialect
differences, or dlfferen1 ways of
assigning meaning."
Receiver
The receiver is the pe rson or group at whom the message L~ directed. The receiver is
responsible for decoding the message- extracting meanlng from its symhols. The receiv
er's life experi ences, knowledge, attitudes, and context can infl uence how he or. she will
lnterpret and respond to the message.
Feedback
Feedback is the receiver's discernible response to a sender's message. It can be non-verhal,
like the nod of a head during a face-to-face conversation; oral, like the "umms" or "ahhs"
heard d uring a telephone conversation; or written , like the reply e-mail that conveys the
receiver's reaction. Feedback is a vital part of communication , allowi ng for clari fication
and ensuring that the message has been properly understood . Making no provision for
feedback and choosing a medi um whereby reedhack is delayed when it is immediately
required can bring the communication process to a frustrating conclusion.
BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
Anyone who has experienced a dropped cellphone call or had an argument as a result of a
misunderstand ing can appreciate that the course of communication does not always fl ow
smoothly. ln today's fast-paced business environments, there is always the potential for
miscommunication. The average workplace is not immune to human error or spared from
the fact that trained professionals are sometimes impe rfect people. The technology on
which an organization relies may not be reliable 100 per cent of the time.
Noi!ie refers to communication barriers and physical and psychological obstacles
that can interfe re with every aspect of the comm unication process, creati ng misunder
standing anywhere, at any time. Noise can be any factor that makes t.he outcome of the
communication process less predictahle, but it also might be called the Murphy\\ Law of
the communication process. lf somethi ng can go wrong with a message, i.t will, unless you
understand potential comm unication barriers and take precautions to prevent them.
Channel overload. Th is prohlem occurs when the number of messages transmitted
through a channel exceeds the capacity of the channel to handle them. You may, for
example, try to leave a voice-mall message for a husiness contact only to find that his
or her voice-mail hox is full.
Infom1ation overload. An othe r common problem, information overload occurs
when a channel simply carries too much information for the receiver to ahsorb it
easily or when too many messages are transmi tted sim ultaneously for the receive r to
handle them properly. Too m uch information is sometimes too much of a good thing
because it can leave receivers annoyed and confused.
Emotional interference. Strong feelings of joy, anger, hostility, and resentment can
interfere with an individual's ability to communicate objectively, thus preventing the
person from either encoding or decoding a message satisfactorily. Aggressive e-mail
messages, composed in anger and certain to fuel tempers, demonstrate the damage
emotional interrerence can cause.
Semantic interference. Words do not have assigned or fixed meani ngs, thus some
times creating a wide margin for misinterpretation. ln ract, one word may mean dif-
ferent things to different people, and its meaning can also change in various contexts.
 1 I GETTI NG THE MESSAGE ACROSS

This t)'Jle of misunderstanding is known as bypassing. Shifts in meaning, raulty dic- bypassing misunderstanding that
tion, and misplaced emphasis can all lead to miscommunication. results from the 1ecclvcr Inferring a
Physical and technical interference. Every so often, technical difficulties arise- different moaning from a mossage
based on the different meanings of
phone lines jam, computers crash, and cellphone connections fade.
the words that are used.
Mixed messages and channel barriers. Some mes.sages give off conflicting signals,
resulting in misunderstanding when I.he receiver can't decide which signal to observe. physical and technical
Interference Interference external
A speake r might say that he agrees with an idea hut raise h L~ eyebrows as he speaks,
to the sender and recelver.11
suggesting that he still harbours a few doubts or reservations. Likewise, choosing the
wrong comm unication channel-for example, by e-mailing a contentious message mixed messages conmcttng
perceptionsof a signal or
or u:ansmitting a message through too long a communication chain-can lead to a
message that may result In
breakdown in communication. mlscommunlCiltlon.
Environmental interference. People diffe r from one another in their demographics,
channel barriers Inappropriate
attitudes, and perceptions. Their frames o r reference--or ways of seeing the wo rld
choices of channol ll'lat lmpeclc
hase d on their own experiences, culture, personality, and education-can he miles communlcanon.
apart. Age and cultural gaps can create differences in pe rcept.ion that innuence how a
environmental Interference
message is interpreted.
lntcrfcrcnc<l that results from
Overcoming these harriers is a matter o r becoming more reflective about your own preconceptions and differing
frames of reference.
com munication practices and more responsive to the needs and expectations of your
receivers. A few guidelines can help you :

Be tim ely and time-sensitive. ln routine situations, respond as soon as you have the
infom1ation you intend to pa~s on; in emotionally charged si tuatioll..~, choose the right
time, when others will he receptive l.o your communications. Ease tensions by giving
others the opportunity to cool down.
Be purposeful. In all hut the ve ry hridest message, state your purpose for meeting,
talkLng, or writing at I.he beginning.
Be a good listener and a careful reader. Give your full attention to the message and
to the message's context.
Be context-sensitive. Consider t.he comm unication situation and if t.he channel is
right for that situation and audience.
Be proactive. If you are in doubt about what you have heard or read, verify the facts
and get more information as needed before proceeding. Being an effective commtmi-
catm means reducing the margin for uncertainty.

Communication Contexts
Commun ication can he thought of in terms of several forms o r contexts that involve dif-
ferences in the numbers and proximities of interactants, the relationships between roles of
the sender(s) and receiver(s), the nature and amount of possible feed back, and the degree
to which messages are adapted to thei r audiences. Effective comm unication on the joh
relies on skills related to Ave forms-the central issu es of which will he explored in this
and subsequent chapters:

Interpersonal communication-an interaction a 1 process he twee n two people

(sender and receiver), either face-to-face or through mediated fom1s. Dyadic (refer-
dyadic ll'lc form or
ri ng to two people) is another name fo r this form o f communication, which is typ communication that Involves
ically informal and spont.aneous and occurs within a specific context to achieve a group of two.
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

interpersonal goals. E-mailing a colleabrue to confirm the time of a meeting is an

interpersonal interaction.
Small-group communication- an interactional process that occurs among three or
more (up to 20) people to achieve common goals. The size of the brroup must allow
all participants to interact freely, and t.he links hetween I.he participants are viltal to the
success of intended outcomes. Group formation and coordi nation can he complex for
the psychological and interpersonal issues it raises, issues that the study of c.ollahora-
tive communication (see Chapter 2) helps us to understand. A project-planning meet
ing involves small-group interaction.
Organizational communication- commuriication within a hierarchical social sys
tern composed of inte rdependent stakeholder groups (such as current and potential
employees, clients, customers, suppliers, and regulators) focused on comm on goals.
This fom1 of communication takes place in large husinesses and industries as well
as government instit.utions. Individ uals with in this system assume specialized func-
tional roles defined by fom1alized behaviours and rules that are part of an "organ
izational culture"- the dynamic and emotionally charged set of assumptions, values,
and ohjects of human workmanship (call ed artifacL~) that arise from intaactions
between organization mernhers and define what the organizational environment feels
like in tem1s of correct ways of thinking and perceiving.' 0 The o rganization is created
through communication and contini1es to he created through its members as they
develop and market products and services, respond to the concerns and demands of
customers and external stakeholders, and plan and coordinate employees and their
tasks and initiatives.""'
Intercultural communication- the management of messages between people of dif-
ferent cultures, with necessary adaptation to account for differences hetwee11 socially
constructed forms of communication behaviour. An e-mail message sent from an
English-speaking o rganization in Winnipeg to a supplie r in Shanghai is an example of
communication in which intercultural issues apply.
Mass communication- an interaction in which a small group of people sends a
message to a large anony11101.1s audience; the transmission is indirect, often mediate<l
through rad io or television broadcasts o r newspape r or magazine articles. Mass com-
munication is distinct from face-to-face puhlic communication in which a speaker
addresses a multi-person audience comprised of individuals he or she does not know
personally. A webcast of a CEO'.s address at an annual general meeting of shareholders
is an example of mass communication.

Non-Verbal Communication
Communication involves more than just spoken and written words. Messages are also act
ively conveyed through a subtext of non-verbal language, both unwri tten and Ul1spoken.
As communication.~ researcher and UCLA professo r Albert Mehrabian found , the impact
of spoken communications containing an emotional or attitudinal element comes largely
from non-verbal elements:

7 per cent of the meaning ls in the words that are spoken.

18 per cent of the meaning is paralinguistic (voice quality).
55 per cent oft.he meaning L~ in non-verbal ex-pression.+1
 1 I GETTI NG THE MESSAGE ACROSS

While this finding is intriguing, if somewhat misleading, other research has shown that
non-verhal cues had over four times the effect of verhall cues. 2 This alone suggests that
non-verhal communication is a system of great importance in social interaction. non-verbal communication
Non.-verbal messages communicate emotions, attitudes, gree ti ngs, and cues or communlCiltlon that docs not
use words but takes place through
status.+:i Effective non-verhal skills and abilities can therefore play an important role in gestures, eye con tac~ and
building an d maintaining interpersonal relationships and managing impressions,+! key facial expressions.
components in successful careers. How a message is encoded according to any of the fol-
lowing non-verbal displays can influence how that message is interpreted or decoded :

tone, inflection, and other acoustic properties or speech

eye gaze and facial eiq>ression
hody movements, hody posture, gestures, and touch
appearance (bodily characteristics and clothing)
personal space and the use of time

These non-verbal cues have the power to intensify what an individual is trying to
co nvey and to work at cross-purposes to a message's primary aim. Some non-verbal non-verbal behaviours
behaviours, as well as some vocal ones, are obvious-a veritable source of uncensored communication that takes place
through gestures. facial expressions,
data- while others are much more subtle, often defying detection. A nod of the head, a aye cont.1ct, and posture.
point of a finger, a steady gaze, a slumped posture, a rmwn-these signal~. like all non-
verbal cues, are powerful indicators of feeli ngs and attitudes in ve rbal communication.
No n-ve rb al com munication cues can play five roles in relation to verbal
communication:

1. Repetition. Non-verbal di..~lays can repeat a message that is being delivered verbally
in the same interaction. Instructing a computer tech nician to repair "this computer"
while pointing at the computer is an example or repetition.
2. Contradiction. Non-verbal messages can conflict with the message an individual is
trying to convey verbally, resulting in mixed messages and additional challenges for
the decoder. A joh candidate who says she is "confident" hut rarely makes eye contact
during the interview sends contrad ictory messages that are difficult to reconcile.
3. Regulation. Non-verhal displays can also reb'Ulate conversations. Tapping a person
on the shoulder to initiate a conversation is an example of regulation.
4. Substitution. Someti mes a non-verbal display can st.and in for a verbal message as
the sole means or communication. Decoders with expressive sensitivity can "read"
facial expressions, gestures, and hody posture, which sometimes "speak" louder than
words. Team members might b'lless that an important contract has been lost if the
team leader enters the meeting room with a sad, downcast expression.
5. Accenti11g and complementing. Non-verbal displays can underline, ampli fy, or tone
down a verbal message. Pounding the table while exclaiming "We have to cut our
budget, now!" is an example of accenting. Complementary non-verbal cues reinforce
or affirm a message, making it easier to remember. A boss who shakes a junior
associates hand while praising him or her uses touch to increase the impact of the
verbal message.
Non.-verbal cues are easily misinterpreted and can be particularly misleading when
taken out of context. Because their meaning is often cU1lturally determined, it is impos-
sible to interpret them in unive rsal terms. Developing an awareness of intentional and
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
proxemlcs ltie study of the use
and perception of space.
TABLE 1. 2 Hall's Spatial Zones
Intimate distance
Personal distance
Social distance
Public distance
unintentional non-verhal signals can help you not only to decipher them hut also to regu
late their impact on your own communication. Non-verhal skills and abilities fall into three
general domains, all essential to achieving competence as a non-verhal communicator:
1. Encoding (emotional expressivity)- the ahility to send non-verhal messages accur-
ately to others.
2. Decoding {emotional sensllivity)- the ahili ty to accurately read another person's
non-ve rhal cues.
3. Regulation- the ahili ty to control one's non-ve rbal displays and expressive hehaviour
to suit social situations. Regulation may require a deeper awareness of the subcon
scious choices that result in non-verhal displays and the meaning that other people
infer from those displays.
Tuning in t.o the signs and signals of human behaviour can help you "read" people and
their attitudes, not just the wo rds they speak or write, and make you a more effective and
conJident communicator. Non-verbal cues are also an important source of feedback that
can tell you how successful you are in your communications- what the mood o f a group
is, when the group has heard enough, and whether someone in the group woullcl like to
speak or raise a question. Non-verbal cues enrich ve rbal messages, as it is not always what
you say but how you say it that people will remember.
COMPONENTS OF NON -VERBAL COMMUNICATION
Non-ve rbal communication corLsists of a range of features that are frequently used together
to aid expression:
Use of space (proxemics). Proxemics refe rs to the study of the human use and per-
ception of space, speciflcally the amount of space that ind ividuals maintain between each
other during a conversation or interaction according to their cultural backgrounds. How
space is used and manipulated , and how the fTamework for defining and organizing it is
internalized, is yet another form of non-verbal communication and one that can lead to
serious failures in com munication . Proxemics explains why invading someone's personal
space hy standing too close or overstepping what is appropriate in a particular soda] con-
text can lead to misunderstanding and negative interpersonal perceptions on the part of
the people involved . Spatial requiremenL~ are defined according to four territorial zones
identified hy cultural anthropologist Edward I . Hall (see Table 1.2)."
Hall\; classification helps to explain why a North American might feel the need to
hack away From a conversation partner when travelling in Europe or South .America,
where t.he e>-11ected social distance is roughly half of what he or she is accustomed t.o.
46 centimetres for interacting with family and close friends
46 centimetres- 11 metres for communicating among close business associates
1.2 metres-3 metres for business conversations
beyond 3 metres for formal business exchanges and public speeches
 1 I GETTI NG THE MESSAGE ACROSS

Physical environment, owing to ractors such as lighting conditions and interior design,
can also affect the behaviour of communicators during Lnteraction. The size of an office,
iL~ colour, even its arrallgemrnt o r furniture conveys a variety of illformation ahout the
occupant that can ill tum influence how people feel and respond . Prod uctive and efficient
business communications depend on how well respectful workplace distances are main
tained and how well approachahllity and interaction are en hanced.
Use of time (chronemlcs). Chrnnemics rders to the study of the use and illter- chronemlcs the study of tlrne In
pretation of time in non-verbal communication. For professionals, time is a valuable non verbal communication.

commodity, uniquely conllected to status in our culture. The timillg and frequency of
an action- how punctual a person is, how long someone is willing to listen or wait for a
reply, the pace or speech OT tempo of a conversation- are ractors that innuence the inter
pretation of that interaction.
Paralanguage (vocalics). Paralanbruage refers to the acoustic or non-verbal vocal paralanguage (vocalics)
qualities of verbal comm unication, the way a message is spoken in terms of three classes non-verbal vocal qualltles or
comrnunlcatlon.
of vocalic cues:

vocal qualiti es- the properties that make each voice imique, including intonation,
pitch , volume, speed or tempo, rhythm, emphasis or innect.ion, intensity, resonance,
nasality, and articulation
vocal characteristics- sounds that may be recognized as speech hut that primarily
express emotion- such as laughing, crying, and yelling
vocal segregates-pauses or Allers- the "umms," "ahhs," and "you knows"- that
punctuate hut get ill the way of fluent speech

Because they can reveal ullderlying emotions and are used to infer personality traits,
these voice patterns sometimes come across more strongly than the actual words that are
spoken , at times creating mixed messages when the words and vocal cues clash. Shifts in
meaning can occur with the suhtlest changes in volume :and emphasis. A change in vocal
inflection can turn a general observation, such as "Oh, really," into an expression of sar-
casm. "We can't fill your o rder" is a factual statement when delivered at normal volume
hut may have the potential to terminate the customer relationship if it is shouted. "I'm
very concerned about this problem" delivers a different message than when you say "l'm
very concerned about this problem" (other people may not he); 'Tm very concerned about
this problem" (my concern L~ strong); or 'Tm very co11cemed ahout this prohlem" (there
are other problems). Becoming an effective speaker L~ a matter of learning to capitalize on
paralanguage and the specific qualities of your own voice to complement and reinforce the
words you use.
Body language (kinesics). Kinesics is a field of research that examines communica- body language (kinesics)
tion through hotly movements, based on the assumption that all humans-consciously or non verbal communication
conveyed by gestures, e'j(! contact,
unconsciously- act and react 1.0 situations both verhally and non-verbally. The meaning posture, and facial expressions.
o r these sibrnals and their positive and negative value can shirt depending on the receiver's
culture, pe rsonality, and experience.

1. Gestures. Vari ous hand and arm movements and specific body positions ei..11ress
special meanings- o rten culturally determined ones--that may both complement
and contradict other forms of communication. Psychologists Paul Ekman and Wallace
Friesen suggest that gestures can he categorized into five types:
COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

Emhlems-gestures that can he easily tran.~lated into unequivocal verbal state

ments, for example, waving goodbye or holding a palm outward to signal "stop."
Illusr.rators- non-verhal behaviours that accompany speech and depict what is
said verhally, such as wagging a rorefinger at another person in a verhal interaction
that involves reprimand or disagreement.
Affect displays- gestures that convey emotion, primarily through the race, such as
a smile.
Regulators- gestmes that control interaction , such as leaning forward to signal
entry into a conversation.
Adaptors-body movements that aid in the release of bodily tension due to new or
anxious situations, for example, crossing your am1s, running your hand. through
your hair, or tapping a pencil."'
Most gestures convey unconscious messages on the senders part, so excessive gestur-
ing is a distraction that should he kept in check.
2. Posture. Open body positions (arms uncrossed and away from the body, legs
uncrossed, leanfog forward) suggest openness, ease, comfort, and agreemerit. Closed
body positions (am1s folded across the torso, legs close together or crossed, hands in
pockets) may be signs of defensiveness, a lack of receptivity, or physical or psycho-
logical discomfort.
3. Eye contact. Eye contact is a powerful form of communication. What it conveys
depends very much on its degree, dmation, and context. lt can mean different things
in different cultures. Direct and purposeful eye contact is a sign of honesty, sincerity,
respect, and recognition. It is difficult, after all, to fake eye contact or to look someone
in the eye and He. More than a passing glance between strangers, however, can make
both parties uncomfortable. Prolonged eye contact in any situation can prove to he
a source of intimidation. Averting the eyes can communicate stress or dishonesty;
deliberately averting the eyes can indicate anger or a lack of interest, although in some
cultures it is interpreted as a sib>n or deference. Knowing how to maintain good eye
cont.act is important to the success of public speakers and presenters, who may use
it as a means o r holdjng an audience and assessing their receptivity, levels of interest,
and attitudes.
4. Facial expressions. On the ha.~ or eye contact, it is possible to read a face through
its range of expressions. Most expressions are short-lived, but each is an indicator of
personality traits, judgments, attitudes, and emotional states. There are, regordless of
culture, six universally recoi,>nized facial expressions: happy, sad, afraid, surprL~ed,
angry, and disb'llSted. Facial expressions provide a useful, if not always reliable,
source of feedback. It is ea.~y to misjudge how people reel by the expressions on their
faces, just as it is orten common for people l.o mask thei r true feelings, especially in
a professional environment. Individuals may have their ow11 "display rules," such
a.~ "never show your anger in puhlic," which inhibit emotional displays and limit
their expression or cause them to replace a genui ne expression with a more socially
acceptable one.
5. Image. Clothing, possessions, and grooming communicate specific messages about
an individual's integrity, professionalism, status, trustworr.hiness, interests, educa-
tion, and work hahits. Clothing especially sends out certain signals about an individ
ual's willillb'lless to conform to company standards as outlined in unofficial rules or
dress codes.
 1 I GETTI NG THE MESSAGE ACROSS

Communicating in Organizations
INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL COMMUNICATION
To stay in business and ht: successful, today's companies nnust communicate with two main
audiences: the organizations internal audience-employees and owners- and its external
audience- customers, government official~, suppliers, and tbe general public. Internal Internal communication
communication stays within an organization and involves the back-and-forth sharing communication through the
channelsof an organization.
o r ideas and inrormation among superiors, co-workers, and subordinates. Although the
speed, instantaneousness, interactivity, and relative informality of e-mail messaging make
it the most popular and logical choice for use within a company, internal communica-
tions sysr.ems are al~o supported by other pathways such as memos, department reports,
in-house newslette rs o r magazines, face-to-face conversations, group meetings, opinion
surveys, speeches, and telephone conversations. Functioning together, they provide the
means for organizations to detect and solve problems, coordinate activities, foster deci
sion-making and policy-setting, introduce and explain procedures, and persuade employ-
ees and managers to accept change.
Through external communication, organizations establish themselves in the market external communication
place, foster good public and media relations, and work to keep their operations func- communication with audiences
who are part of an external
tional, efficient, and productive. Some of the functions of external communkation are environment.
to influence consumer decisions through advertising and promotion , process orders and
collect payment, an..~wer customer service inquiries and handle complain ts, respond to
government. agencies, and carry out purchase l.ransactioms. Though communkation with
custome1s and outside stakeholders can take a variety of fo rms, such as newsletters,
e-mail, social media blogs and messages, press releases, financial and corporate respon
sibility reports, and information about products and services posted to company web-
sites, a good deal of this communication still consists of letters and direct mailings on
company letterhead. Wh ether an externally directed message is written or spoken, it
carries its company's reputation and corporate values witl1 it. Today's husinesses recognize
the importance of using communication with outside stakeholders as an opportunity to
huil d prestige and a favourable puhlic image hy fostering goodwill and establishing solid
business relationships. While the general functions of business communication are to (a)
inform, (b) persuade, and (c) promote goodwill and create a favourable impression, it is
the third function that assumes increasing importance in external communication.

ESSENTIAL SKILLS FOR WORKPLACE COMMUNICATION

To perform basic business functions well requires not only the ability to speak and write
effectively hut al~o proficiency in the complementary skills of reading and listening.
Reading. On the job, you may spend almost as much time reading as you do writ-
ing. Well-developed reading and comprehension skills e11able you to absorh and analyze
masses of sometimes complex and technical written information quickly, even when faced
with distractions. Effective responses start with knowing and understanding what you are
responding to.
Active listening. There is a big difference between hearing- an auditory foncti.on-
and listening- the act of decoding and interpreting a sound message. The most in1portant
thing a listener can do is pay dose and respectful attention to everything I.hat is said, not just
a portion of the mes.~age, and to synthesize that information in bis or her own words so it is
 COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESULTS
cognitive dissonance the
tendency 10 reject mC!ssages based
on p<lrsonal valuo systems.
active listening listening
that demands close attention
to a message's literal and
emotional meaning and a level
of responsiveness that shows the
speaker the message was both
heard and understood.
formal communications
network a system of
communication sanctioned by
organlzatlonal ma nag cment
Informal oral network unofficial
Internal comrnunlcatton pathways
that carry gossip and rumours-
somettmes accurate, sometimes
not (also known as a grapevine).
formal communication
channels official Internal
communication pathways that
facilitate the ftow of Information
through an organization's hierarchy.
both memorable and manageable. Part of this process involves developing an awareness of
cognitive dissonance- the tendency to reject a message based on personal value systems.
It may he necessary t.o tune out the emotional filters--strong opinions ahout the suhject or
speaker-that prevent you from thinking ohjectively and understanding a message.
Effective listening means knowing the difference between types of listening. Polite,
passive listening is a kind o r mechanical listening that doesn't involve real response, just
a pattern of pre-fom1ulated statement and counter-statement. It is usually unprnductive
because all the listener is really doing is biding his or her ti.me, planning the next remark ,
and waiting for a chance to interrupt. Active listening requires a much higher and more
sustained level of interaction between speaker and listener, not to mention concentra
tion and openness. Asking questions, anticipating what will he said next, reviewing and
paraphrasing points that have already been made, and tuning in to non-verhal cues are
active listening techniques that let you focus on the speaker's main idea and essential mes-
sage. For more on active listening, take a look at the tips in "Participating in a Meeting"
in Chapter 12 . The foll owing chapters will also provide suggestions and strategies for
improving in these four hasic areas-speaking, writing, Hstening, and reading.
INFORMAL AND FORMAL CHANNELS
Fom1al and Lnfonnal pathways or communication operate hoth ins ide and outside the
organization. Generally, the more an organization grows and e>.'Pands, the brreat.er its need
for in~tituted systems that fomiatlize and rebrulate its communications. With the purpose
or enhancing efficiency, productivity, and overall performance, a formal communications
network defmes the manner in wh ich messages such as letters, memos, reports, and propos-
als are sent according to a companys organizational stmcture or chain or command. Thi.~
hierarchical structure is oft.en laid out in the fonn of a chart. Once mapped out, a111 effective
communication system establishes lines of communication- how certain types of messages
flow within the company hierarchy and at what level each mes.~age should he aimed.
Managers whose ohjective is to achieve business goals by putting these systems in
place may also recognize that communication can he channelled through an infomrnl
oral network. These infom1al internal communication channels are known as grapevines.
They develop when individuals socialize hy talking about work-chatting around I.he
water cooler, trading unofficial news in the coffee room, or exchanging gossip over lunch.
Passed from one person to the next according t.o a pattern of serial communicati<m, a mes-
sage that travels through the brrapevine spreads quickly hut may not he entirely accurate
or reliab le. Regardless, the grapevine is st.ill a major source of infom1at.ion in most work-
places, helping to alert managers to prohlems with morale, allowing them to test opinion,
and letting employees in on upcoming changes such as layoffs or restructuring. Though
most employees prefer to learn important information through formal channels, astute
managers may choose to use I.he grapevine to their ad vantage by placing someone with
reliable infom1at.ion within the network or L~suing the official version before a dangerous
rumour has a chance to spread.
THE FLOW OF INFORMATION
Among workers within an organization, infom1ati.on flows through formal communica-
tion channels in three direct.ions ; upward, downward, and horizontally.
 1 I GETTI NG THE MESSAGE ACROSS

Upward communication flow. Communication that takes this route, from subordin - upward communication flow
ates to superiors, can he enormously beneficial to organizations that t.ake it seriously the movement or Information rrom
enough to foster a cHmate of openness and trust in which opinions and ideas can be subordinates to supmlors.
voiced freely. Whether in the form of solicited feedback or unsolicited suggestions, th is
kind of co mmunication can help insulated upper rnai.1agement to stay in touch with
workplace reaHt.ies and give suhordinates a valuable opportunity to provide input. While
subordinates may feel they are part of a company team, they may also And that differences
in status make it more difficult to communicate.
Downward communication flow. Directives are sent downward [wm top decision - downward communication
makers via the chain of command to subordinates. This rot1te is used to clarify corpo rate flow the movement of Information
from superiors to subordinates.
strategies, explain policies, outline job plans, and give perfom1ance feedback. Sometimes
the downward flow st.rateb'Y takes on the added purpose of instilling loyalty and im proving
the morale of employees. Downward communication is serial, travelling from person to
person through various levels of an organization. As with most fom1s of serial communi-
cation , the longer the chain , the great.er the chance the message will undergo distortion ,
develop flaws, or change meanjng in trans!1Ussion through a simplification, reordering,
or rephrasing of its details. Unless messaging is properly monitored, this reinterpretation
and resulting distortion may occur several times, as the message passes through the proper
fom1al channels, from the CEO to managers and from managers to employees.
Horizontal communication flow. Also called late ral communication, ho rizontal flow horizontal communication flow
involves people at the same organizational level. Conducted by e-mail, by telephone, or the movement of Information that
enables lndlvlduals at the same
through personal contact, it h.as a variety of functions: Lo share information, solve prob- organlzatlona I level to share Ideas
lems, and coordinate and harmonize activities so each department knows what the other and exchange Information.
is doing in order to avoid duplication of initiatives. Companies with "flattened" hierarch-
ies, ln which t.here are rewer levels of man.agement, need to make the most productive use
of horizont.al communication.

Ethical Communication
ETHICS AND LEGAL RESPONSIBILITIES
OF BU SINESS COMMUNICATION
When you communicate on the job, you not only represent your organization, but you
also assume responsibility for its actions. Every document (letter, e-mail, or report) you
write is in reality a legal contract acceptable as evidence in a court of law. Signing a letter
means you agree to its cont.ent. It makes yom promises and agreements legally binding
and makes retractions next to impossible to carry out without proof of altered circum-
stances. For the good of your company, its image, and the bottom line, communicating
legally and ethically L~ oft.he highest importance.
Business ethics stipulate that senior executives as well as employees at every organ- business ethics the socially
izational level "do the right thing" in regard to bot.h the relationships \vith stakeholders accepted moral prtnclplcs and rules
of buslnass conduct
(employees, customers, invest.ors, and the public) and the administration of products and
services. It involves an awareness of how the choices you make affect and influence others,
for better or for worse. Corporate codes of ethics--upholcling equal commitment to values
such as honesty, intebrrity, fairness, social responsibility, accountabllity. and respect- sensi-
tize managers and staff ali ke to how they should behave. The grmving emphasis on busi-
ness ethics is more than just a trend or bandwagon effect. In 2002, roughly 80 per cent of
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

public- and privat.e-sector firms that responded to a KPMG survey had instituted a code or
policy or had adopt.ed initiatives to deal wit.h matters such as confl ict of in terest, external
and customer relations, the handling of company assets, relationships with competitors, and
employee workplace issues.
Having moral and interpersonal ground rules in place in the fonn o f polki.es, train-
ing programs, and ot.her initiatives helps companies weather crises and controversies by
allowing them to distinguish rig.ht from wrong in t.imes of fundamental change. A com-
pany's ethical p ractices speak for its social responsibility and integrity- an in valuable
asset that makes perrect sense in the corruption-weary, post-Enron, dot-com age. Ethical
business conduct and comm unication creat.e a marketplace advan tage, en hance employee
performance, promote a strong public image, prevent legal challenges, save thousands o r
dollars in legal fees, and provide incent.ive for leniency in legal proceedi ngs.

ETHICAL LAPSES AND WHY THEY HAPPEN

Ethical lapses occur for a variety of reasons, but mostly they are the result o r all-too-
convenient excuses, beliefs, and rat.ionalizations. Here are a rew of the better-known
ethical traps:1
The safety-in-numbers rationalization. This is the belief that wrongdoi11g is not
wrong H others happen to commi t the same acts. People who adopt th is "everyone
does it" mentality may also experience a false sense o f immunity, believing that their
behaviour is no worse than that of others. Wrongdoers may simply feel that, in the
relative scale of wrongdoing, their infract.ions are mino r and therefore excusable.
The head-i11-the-sand rationalization. People sometimes believe that ignoring an
ethical problem will somehow make it go away. Out of a desire to not "rock the boat,"
some people may fail t.o blow the wh istle or adopt appropriat.e corrective measures
when a problem emerges. Such conspiracies o r silence place companies at significant
risk. Companies that do not provide safe opporti.mities for the diSL1.1ssion of issues of
ethical concern may put their employees at risk of falling into this ethical trap.
Th e between-a-ro ck-and-a-hard-place rationalization. According t.o this view,
infractions are justifiable when committed out of necessity or for the purpose o f
achieving important objectives. The belief that there are no other options may simply
he a cover for taking the easiest or most convenient course o f action.
The "it's-no-big-deal" rationaliza tion. Th is dismissive attitude helps to milllimize or
excuse wrongdoing because of its alleged unimportance. Wrongdoers delude them-
selves into believing that their ethical lapses are not se rious and therefore do not have
consequences. l ess scrupulo us employees may use this excuse to d o such things as
fal~Hying expenses for the purpose of reimbursement, believing that their behaviour is
acceptable when compared to the worse behaviour of others.
The entitlement rationalization. Some people may deceive themselves into thinking
that their unethical actions are excusable o r that they are en titled to hreak the rules-
for example, by overstating qualifications on a resume, putting company time and
resources to personal use, or taking unjustified sick leave.
The team-player rationalization . Th.is ethical trap is rooted in the fear that con-
front.ing superiors or colleagues about their transgressions will have repercussions on
perfom1ance evali.1ation and career advancement. The yes-man syndrome figured in
the 2001 Enron scandal when staffers at t.he accoullting fi m1 Anhur Andersen acted
on orders and shredded crucial, incriminating documents.
 1 I G ETTI NG TH E ME SS AGE ACRO S S

Responsible and accountable workplace comm uni-

cation, especially wTitten comm unication, plays a big
part in ethical business conduct. Here are some tips
for becoming a good and ethical cm11orate citizen:
Watch Dr. Joan Pastor, psychologist and
Tell the trnth. Avoid deceptive lan guage, fraud specialist, discuss the psychology
words with double meanings, and extremes behind fraud, unethical behaviour, and
of overstate m ent and unde rstatement. white-collar crime in her address to the
Misrepresentation, especially when it is in the ACFE Annual Fraud Conference:
fo rm of false advertising, is punishable by law. http://goo.gi/OfObQD.
Make sure your motives are clear, with no indi-
cations of a hidden agenda, and that others will
perceive them as si1ch.
Avoid language that attempts to evade
responsibility. The passive voice, when misap-
plied, can mislead readers through its failure to assign responsibility for certai n actions.
Don't suppress or de-emphasize important information, including information
that the public rightfully deserves to lmow or that people need to do theiT jobs .
Present facts accurately while ensuring that they are nelevant and used in a reasonable
way in reaching concl usions and maki ng recommendations. Include any infonna-
tion the reader would want to have that is within your authority to disclose and will
need to understand your recommendations. Don't h ide facts or conflicts of interest
or emphasize or de-emphasize certain facts to give readers a false impression; avoid
half-truths and exaggerations. Give clear warnings of risks and dange rs when issu ing
safety information-someone's life may hang in the balance, and the liability of your
company could depend on it.
Offer good value for money. Ilack up any claims you make about the value of a
service or performance of a product, including claims mad e through visual lmages.
There are stiff penalties for falsifyi ng sales, marketing, and investment information
and for making any clalm about product pricing, performance. or quali ty that can't
he vt:1ified .
Ile timely in your communication. Avoid unjustified delays in replying or process-
ing information and he sure t.o direct your message to the right person.
Consider your obligations. Keep in mind whom you are responsible to when you
carry out communications on the j oh- your managers, co-workers, suppliers, cus-
tomers and clients, I.he co mpany, rebrulators, share h olders, other stakeholders. I.he
public and community. and society at large.
Show respect and consider ideals and impacts. Speak, wri te, and act with the
inh erent dignity of others in mi nd. Consider whether those with whom you are com-
municating and outside observers would consider your communical.ions respectful.
Give thought to how your commtmication impacts and helps stakeholders and how
it re nects the positive vali1es t.o which you aspire. Provide the opportunity for stake-
holders to give input into decision-making.
Avoid libel. libel is pri nted and recorded ddamation and is characterized by false. libel a false published statement
malidous, o r derogatory remarks-remarks that arouse hatred , contempt, or ridicule that Is damaging to a person's
reputation.
toward the individuals to whom they are applied . Common law protects every person
against this kind of character assassination.
Distinguish between fact and opinion. Let readers know the difference between con-
jecture and a verifiable fact. Passing off an opinion as a fact is mi.~leading and unethical.
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

Use a layout that doesn't hide information. Style elements such as List~, hullets, and
spacing should he used lo spot.light important info rmation, not hide it.
Know what you can and cannot d isclose to certain parties according to c.orporate
disclosure practices, privacy law, and confidentiality agreements. Careless puh-
Lication or misuse o f your company's intellectual property and confidential informa-
tion, even in the form of an offhand remark, can be detrimental to your organization
and might result in charges of wrongdoing. Not advising investors of major corporate
events that affect such things as share prices can, on the other hand , expose compan-
ies to lawsuits und er new Legislation.
Be especially careful communicating in cybers pace. Cyberspace is an ethical mine
field. Rememher that e-mail and text messages are easily forwarded. Once they are
sen t, you have virt.ually no control over where they end up. Many companies now
have rebrulations in place regarding the type of information their employees can trans-
mi.t via e-mail. Others insist on archiving e-mail messages for up to two years. A
general rule is to not transmit by electronic means anything you would not want your
employer, colleab'l.tes, o r friends to see or to find in the newspaper.
Don't claim authorship of documents yon have not written. Disclose how you
ohtained your information and used it in making your arguments. The consequences
of plagiarism- not giving due credit for harrowed words or ideas--are serious.
Always acknowledge your sources by using qi10tation marks, notes, or citations.

0 Is the document truthful?

O Is the action the document endorses legal?
0 In writing the document, do you treat others in a way you would like to be treated,
with respect and concern for their inherent dignity? Have you avoided violating
anyone's rights?
O Are you willing to take responsibility for what the document says?
O Would your perspective on an issue still seem fair if you were viewing it from the
opposite side?
O Is the information in the document based on thorough research from recent, reliable,
and unbiased sources?
O Do you use sound and logical reasoning and avoid exaggeration?
0 Would it be acceptable if everyone communicated in the same way you have?
0 As you accomplish your purpose, are you also acting in the best interest of your
employer and your client?
O Are ethical standards applied consistently to your writing?
0 Would your family and your employer approve of the tone you use in the document?
0 Have you discussed any ethica l dilemmas with someone who is able to give tru sted
advice?
 1 I GETTI NG THE MESSAGE ACROSS

Cross-Cultural Communication
COMMUNICATING IN A GLOBAL ECONOMY
The pace of business has increased rapidly in recent decades. Fast travel, the Internet,
technological advancement, and interna1fonal media have made it not just possible bm also
necessary for us to communicate and do husiness glohally. Through the growth of economic
globalization, market borders and boundaries are now less significant than they once were.
Canadian companies, in their quest for success, may become parn1ers in a global economy
and exp;,md through acquisitions, alliances, and mergers. They may look beyond home
to an inte rnational marketplace, relying on the import and export of goods and services
and conducting business with suppliers, t't1stomers, and distributors around the world. ln
today's business environment, Canadians may work for homegrmvn multinational corpora
tions, such as McCain Foods, or for Canad ian hram:h planL~ of multinational organizations
headquartered in other countries; they may also work abroad or through inte rnationally
distributed virtual work teams.
Functioning in isolation is no longer an option. Businesses must interact with the rest
of the world for survival. The need for interconnectivity demands that employees learn
to comm unicate effectively, in spite of the obstacles presented by differences in culture
and language. To alleviate the latter, Business English has become the vernat't1lar of th L~
new global economy. BELF (Business English as a Lingua Franca) is a variety of EnglL~h for
specific task-related purposes, learned as a second or eve'.11 th ird language world wide. lt is
simple, clear, and fTee of idioms but anchored in a serviceable business vocabulary.

DIVERSITY IN THE WORKPLACE

The communications hurdles associated with the rise of a global economy are equally part
of another si&rn ificant trend- the internationalization of Canada's workforce. lt is common
to work with people of many different ethnic, national, and religious backgrounds. Besides
being one of the most multit'tlltural countries in the world , Canada recently ranked first
among 1 7 industrialized nations in its acceptance of diversity in its many facets (race,
religion, lanb'l.lage, culture, and sexuality).#! Canada's future workforce promises to he
even more diverse. Statistics Canada predicts that,
by 2031, between 11.4 and 14.4 million people
(approxi mately one-third of the country\; popula-
tion and twice the number reported in 2006) could
belong t.o a visible minority group.iO
The Canadian Institute of Diversity
Diversity is a strategic force that influences
and Inclusion is a new not-for-profit
com mun ication on the job. Richard Florida sees organization that supports a spectrum
dive rsity as a key factor in promo ting economic of diversity issues in the workplace:
growth and prosperity because, wi thout it, it is http://goo.gi/STwWuG.
impossihle to attract a "creative class" \vith fresh
ideas and tech savvy. The ability to communicate
with people from diffe rent. cultures, backgrounds,
and miL1ority groups has internal and external
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
culture tho sharod customs
and patterns of behaviour of
a part1cular group or society,
Including Its language, rules,
beliefs, and structures.
ethnocentrism the tendency to
make false assumptlo ns, based on
limited experience, that one's own
cultural or ethnic group Issuperior
to others.
benefits. Because culture has the power to in nuence behaviour, it also has the potential
to create clashes and rnisundersta11dings in the workplace. Leaming to resolve difforences
and close cultural gaps is therefore now essential. Successful businesses are adept at cap-
italizing on the strengths of a cl iverse multinational workforce and reducing misunder-
standing in order to benefit consumers, promote hamrnny, forge high-perfom1ance work
teams, and gain a competitive edge.
UNDERSTANDING CULTURAL DIFFERENCES
Culture- the shared system o r values , beliefs, attitudes, norms, and practices es tablished
and used by a group- is, like lanb'1.1age, something that we learn. Alt.hough it provides us
with our identity and sense of self, culture is not part of our genetic code. It is something
dynam ic, constan tly changing, that is passed from one generation to the next. What we
vali1e, how those values influence our behaviour, how we perceive the world, and even
how we com municate, are all determined by the culture in which we grow up and hy
which we contin ue to live into adulthood. How and what we learn can he, and frequently
are, culturally detem1i ned. So, too, are our thinking and reasoning patterns and our
approaches to problem-solving. Sometimes it is only when we come in contact wi th other
cultures and are made aware of differences in our efforts to commun icate that our own
ever-evolvi ng cultures come sha rply into focus.
The m ies that apply in one culture may he entirely inappropriate in another. Context
L~ therefo re an important concep t in intercult.ural interactions. Because people from dif-
ferent cultures encode and decode messages differently, there is always the potential for
misu nderstanding and, consequently, an tagon L~ms to occur across cultural boundaries.
Part of the challenge in communicating interculturally is to defy ethnocentrism (the
belief that ones own culture is supe rior), which serves only to intensify cultural mis-
understanding. Cross Li.1ltural competence- I.he ability to communi cate effectively with
people from different cultural groups based on cultural knowledge, understanding, skill,
and auitude-L~ a learned skill that is becoming increasingly important for hamiony in
today's workplaces.0
INTERCULTURAL COMMUNICATION DEFINED
The global natiire of business and growing dive rsity of most cities and nations has created
cmmections and mutual interdependencies among people and groups of varying cultural,
eth nic, and religious backgrounds. Differences in attitudes, values, and belie[~ are many,
hut communication must still go on despit.e them- across cultures. As stated earlier in this
chapter, the temi intm :ultural communication (or cross-cultural communication) is defined as
the management of messages for the making of meaning among peoples and groups of dif-
ferent cultural and etlmk backgrounds. It is guided by principles fo r understanding those
cultural differences and for exchanging meaningful information in a clear and unambib'll
ous way that upholds mutual respect.
lntercultural comm unication, as a specific branch of communication, developed in the
1950s and 1960s as multinational businesses looked for ways to overcome miscommuni-
cation and resolve the difficulties that resulted from the ways different culnues perceived
reality. The distinction between high-context cultures, where most o r the information of a
message is inferred from the message's cont.ext, and low-context cultures, which depend on
 1 I GETTI NG THE MESSAGE ACROSS

eiqilidt verhal and written mes.~ages, sheds light on cultural differences according to the
beliefs, practices, and comnrnnication styles of each particular group. Developed by Edward
T. Hall, this system, with its general categorizations of complex cultures, is not meant to-
nor should it ever he misapplied in order to-create or rein force stereotypes or to distort the
trnth about individuals, who may in fact act independently of their cultural group. lnstead,
it simply serves as a useful analytical tool in preparing for cross-cultu ral interactions and as
a means of making broad assessments of national styles of communication and negotiation.
As such, Hall\; model has special relevance to any dialogue and correspondence you con-
duct with international vendors, suppliers, and operators. 11
Cultures tend t.o differ in several import.ant respects:

attitudes to individualism and collectivity

reHm1ce on logic and feeling
the relative directness of the ir communication styles
attitudes to the relational role of communication in business transactions
attitudes to the elderly, Hfe partnerships, and gender roles
time orientation
propensity for risk and uncertainty
the degree of formality and protocol that governs social interactions
interpretations of non-verbal communication and hotly language

O f these, Geen Hofstede ' 2 idenr.ified five key "dimensions" of culture- or the ways in
which cultures differ from one another.

1. Power Dist..'lnce, or the degree to which less powerful members of a group expect
and accept that power is dis trihuted unequally. For example, an employee new l.o
Canada might be so used to the top-down chain of command decision-making system
in her country of origin that he or she may he uncomfortable in taking the initiative
whrn asked to do so, even vie\ving th L~ as insubordination.
2. Uncertainty Avoidan ce, or a soc:iety\; tolerance fo r amhiguity and comfort level with
situations that are new, unstructured, or unknown. Differences in r.he need for rules,
for example, may lead to a dispute or mlsunderstanding between a customer and the
business owner who, in h L~ or her hirth country, sealed an agreement with a hand-
shake rather than a written contract.
3. Individualism vs. Collectivism, o r the degree to which people are integrated into
groups. For example, a new employee recently arrived from Iraq tells his employer
that he must he absent from work for three hours so that he can escort several female
members of his extended family from the airport.
4. Masculinity vs. Femininity, related to the dL~trihution of emotional roles and values
between genders. For example, a female employee trying to maintain a life- wo rk
hala11ce might ask to leave work early to attend he r daughter's ballet recital but be
refused by her male supervisor, who is intent on completing the department\; project
aherud of sched ule.
5. Short-Term vs. Long-Term Orientation, or the degree to which societies are future-
focused (long-term orientation) or anchored in the past or present (short-term orien-
tation). For example, a Japanese manufacturer, part of a shorl-tem1 oriented c."ulture
where social spending is significant and customary, may insist that a Canadian certifi-
cation inspector accept. lavish gifts.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
low-context cultures cultures
that favour direct communication
and depend on explicit verbal
and written messages exclusive
of context.
high-context cultures cultures
In which communication depends
not only on the explicit wording
of a message but also on Its
surrounding context.
HIGH - AND LOW-CONTEXT COMMUNICATION STYLES
The previous section indicates that high- and low-context cultures value different styles
of communication . This difference applies not only t.o the words and nuances of ve r
hal communication hut also to the facial expressions and gestures of non-verhal com-
munication. Knowing about high- and low-cont.ext cultures can help you ad.apt your
perspective and keep up with the demands of comm unicating in mul ticu ltural and
cross-cultural environments.
low-context cultures. Communicators in low-context cultures (such as those
in Germany, Scandinavia, and North America) convey their meaning exclusive of t.he
context of a situation. Meaning depends on what is said- the literal content of the mes-
sage- rather than how it is said . Information has to he explicit and detailed fo r the
message to he conveyed witho ut distortion. Low-context communkato rs can say "no"
directly. They don't need to he prnvided with much hackground information , hu.t they do
expect messages to he professiolll!ll, efficient, and linear in their logic. Low-context cul-
tures value individua!Lsm and the self-assertion that they regard as the means to achieve-
ment and success.
High-context <.'U ltures. ln high-context cultures (such as Japan, China, Korea, and
Arab countries) communication Telies heavily on non-verhal, contextual, and sh.ared cul-
tural meanings. In other words, high-context communicators attach great importance
to everythi ng that surrounds the explicit message, including interpersonal relationships,
non-verhal cues, and physical and social settings. Information is transmitted not through
words alone hut also through non-verbal cues such as gestures, voice inflection, and
facial expression, which can have different meanings in diffe rent cultures. Eye contact,
for example, which is encomaged in North America, may have amhiguoi1s mean.ing or he
considered disrespectful in another culture. Meaning is determined not by what is said but
hy how it is said and hy how social implications such as the communicators st.atus and
position come into play. For high-context cultures, language is a kind of social luh ricant,
easing and harmonizing relations that are defined according to a group or collectivist
ori entation where "we" rather than "!" is I.he key t.o identity. !3ecai1se directness may he
thought of as disrespectful, discussions in high-context cultures can he circui tous, circling
key issues rather than addressing them head-on. Communicating with high-cont.ext cul-
tures can require you to focus m1 politeness strategies that demonstrate your respect for
readers and listeners. Doing business internationally can also involve a higher degree of
formality and strict adherence to rules of social etiquette.
COMMUNICATING INTERCULTURALLY
Communicating interculturally is something you may do in many settings:
in multicultural organizational work teams or in interactions with individuals on
the joh
in multinationa l teams wl1 en working glohally and virtua lly wit.h partnered
organizations
in international audiences when working on assignment overseas, in glohal leader-
ship, or in cross-cultural negotiations
 1 I GETTI NG THE MESSAGE ACROSS

In these contexts, written, spoken, visual, and non -verhal communication can require
you to rethink the ingrained habits that govern how you express yourself. It demands
the exercise of what is known as cultural intelligence, , 3 an individuals capability to func-
t.ion and manage effectively in culturally diverse settings. Adapting successfully to diverse
audiences and situations also requires knowledge, motivation, enhanced awareness, and
changes in behaviour. Showing respect for your readers and listeners and learning what-
ever you can about their cultural expectations are the fiTst steps in achieving clarity and
mutual understanding in your communication .

Oral Messages: Speaking

1. Pay attention to non-verbal behaviours. "listen" to what is not being said and inter-
pret what silences communicate. look for eye messages-raised eyebrows, loss of eye
cont.act- and facial gestures indicating I.hat listeners are confused o r not following
what you say.
2. Use simple English and speak slowly enough to enunciate clearly. Opt for fam-
iliar, unpretentious words and avoid idiomatic expressions (up to my ears, two cr.nt~'
worth), slang, and coll oquialisms. Deliver your message at a slower pace than you
would normally use for an audience of first-language English speakers.
3. Adjust the level of formality to what is considered culturally acceptable.
Add;essing someone on a first-name basis and being direct may he acceptable in cer-
tain cultures hut undesirable in others where reserve, deference, ceremony, and social
rules play a bigger role in business communication.
4. Excuse misunderstanding. Don't play the blame game with your audience. If
they don't understand, take the time to make youlf message clear without causing
emharrassment.
5. Encourage feedback and test your audience's comprehension. You will want to
know if your message is getting across. Pause from time to time to ask if your listeners
would like you to clarify any points. Confi m1 their comprehension by inviting them
to sum up your message in their own words.

Oral Messages: Listening

1. Don't interrupt. Be patient and allow the speaker to finish a thought. Don't he too
ready to jump in and offer to elaborate.
2. Practise active listening. Concentrate on the speakers message. If necessary, ask
quest.ions or restate the message to focus your listening.
3. Be sensitive and patient. Don't assume that a person who can speak English \vill
automatically comprehend every word you say. Recognize the challenges the speaker
may face communicating in an adopted lallbruage.

Writing for Culturally Diverse Audiences

1. Adopt formats that are used in the reader's countll'y. Study the communication you
receive and, as much as possihle, adapt your own correspondence to the formatting
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

preferences of your audience. Use appropriate diacritical marks (the symhols added
to letters t.o indicate their pro nunciation), especially for proper names (Dube,
Muller, Cura~ao) .
2. Address readers using their professional titles, not their first names. Direct
address is usually too informal ror international correspondence, especia.lly in an
initial contact.
3. Use only those terms that c~m be found in English-umguage dictionaries. Words
classed as slang or colloqt1ialisms are t1sually specific to one context o r country
and don't necessarily translate well to others. Readers whose first language is not
English- and even English speakers in another country- may not know what you
mean by suits (referring to husiness executives) or the 411 (referring to information).
Similarly, it is hest to avo id unnecessary jargon, idiom.~ (blut: moon, fmits of your
labours), unusual figures of speech, abbreviations, and sports references (it's a slam
dunk , a ballpark fi&'llre). If possihle, try to avoid words with double meanings.
4. Keep sentences as direct and simple as possible. Communicate using complete but
not complex sentences, arranging your thoughts in short, coherent paragraphs. Add
relative pronouns (that, which) ror clarity and check ror correct pronoun reference
(readers should be ah le to jt1dge what this or that refers t.o). Avoid contractions.
5. Use correct grammar. Never insult ym1r reade rs intelligence hy writing in second-
rate or hahyish English . An overly simplified style can offend readers. Instead use
language that is literal and specific.
6. Include politeness strategies where they are required. Show courtesy hy thanking
the reader when it makes sense to do so and by using the words please and thank you
where requi red. An indirect approach, which delays a direct request, gives you the
chance to estahlish goodwi ll and build a business relationship.
7. Avoid humour, irony, and sarcasm. These features rarely translate well to other con
texts and can be easily misunderstood.
8. Use international measurement standards. Using these standards, such as the met-
ric system, ensures t.hat the majo rity o r your audience will understand the re rerence.

Privacy in the Workplace

Privacy, according to legal scholar Alan Westin, is "the claim of ind ividuals, b'loups, or
institutions to determine for themselves when, how and to what extent information
about them is communicated to others."H Doing business, in fact any commercial activ-
ity, involves t.he collection and retention of the personal info rmation of c:ustomers, clients,
patients, and employees. ln Canada, the Privacy Act explains how federally rebrulated
puhlic hodies can collect, use, and disclose your personal information. The Personal
!nfom1ation Protection and Electronic Documents Act (PIPEDA) applies to commercial
transactions in the private sector and organizations that are federally regulated . According
to PIPEDA, "personal infom1ation " includes information about an identifiable ind ividual,
sue h as these items:

name, age, ID numbers such as a Social Insurance Number (SIN), income, ethnic origin
hank account number, credit records, loan records, transaction histories, tax returns
medical records, employee personnel fi les, and even voiceprints and fingerprints"
 1 I GETTING THE MESSAGE ACROSS

There a re several ways to bridge the gap between different cultures, whether you are
writing for an international audience or just helping to make diversity work for everyone in
your workplace. Gaining awareness, building knowledge, and adjusting your behaviour are
fundamental in meeting this challenge.
D Show respect. Acknowledge respect for each other's languages, values, and behaviou rs.
Be yourself without having to be defensive in justifying your culture. Realize that
differences do not inevitably lead to conflict. View them .s imply as differences, not as a
matter of right or wrong.
D Gain knowledge and develop awareness. Become aware of your own thinking and
assumptions. Educate yourself and seek information about other cultures as a means
to overcome prejudice and stereotypes and take advantage of the diversity-training
program your company may offer. Learn about the legal, economic, and marriage
systems of other cultu res as well as the rules of grammar and non-verbal behaviours
that apply. Be conscious of values and religious beliefs of other cultures. Recognize the
richness available to you through other cultures and the synergy of different viewpoints.
D Avoid negative judgments. Do not express damaging assumptions or views based
on your own cultural heritage. Suspend judgment until enough information becomes
available about the other person in a cross-cultural interaction. Consider the perspectives
of other cultures, be open to developing a sympathetic understanding while upholding
your own ethical values, and attempt to understand how your own cultural conditioning
or ethnocentrism has the potential to influence your behaviour. Ask yourself if your
perceptions and judgments are correct. Curb any impulse to let negative opinions or
defensive attitudes dictate your conduct and communication. Aim for objectivity.
D Cultivate a work environment that values diversity. Make sure the diverse voices,
cultures, and expertise in your workplace are heard and capitalized on. Values of tolerance
and sensitivity, if given enough emphasis, can allow your organization to foster harmony
among employees and build high-performance international and multicultural teams.
D Ask quest.ions. Foster openness in your communications and encourage feedback and
constructive dialogue. Exercise sensitivity in the way you ask others about themselves.
When communicating globally, consult with someone from your intended audience's
culture to determine acceptable usage and style elements.
D Prepare to be flexible. Adjust your tone, volume, rate of speaking, and use of pauses
and silences in verbal exchanges and alter your non-verbal behaviours and facial
expressions to suit the needs of the situation when communicating face-to-face. Make
allowances for simpler, idiom-free vocabulary choices an.d shorter sentences when the
interaction requires it.
D Sllllk common ground. Where there is potential for cult,ural conflict, look to what you
share by emphasizing compromise and solutions. Being adept at cultural understanding
does not mean that you have to adopt the entire cultural style of others but that you are
open to meeting others halfway and making some necessary adjustments.
D Tolerate ambiguity and uncertainty. Communicating with someone from another
culture can create uncertainty and sometimes make you uncomfortable. Accept that
you may face difficulties in communicating and overcome uncertainty by facing it rather
than avoiding it.
D Listen to others, not to the voice of your ethnocentrism. Pay attention to the cross-
cultural situation and rely on feedback from multiple cues to monitor the level of an
individual's understanding.
COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

Cl Bridge cultural gaps. Demonstrate your culture's positive characteristics and speak
positively for the strengths of other cultures. Rather than simply memorizing facts about
other cultures, live the values of greatest importance to you and those you share w ith
others through consideration and sensitivity. Think of your communication as a dialogue
between equals.
Cl Encourage your employer to commit to a harassment- and discrimination-free
workplace. If such a commitment has not been made, a human rights policy and set
of procedures can be instituted to resolve problems related to diversity issues quickly
and fairly.

With technology now affecting almost all aspects of husiness activity and posing
unwarranted intrusions and techno-threats, concerns ahout privac.y- and the hest way
to protect personal or privileged information- have never been great.er. Despite the hest
efforts o r most companies to safeguard the personal information or customers and. employ-
ees, privacy hreaches are hecoming more common. Here are just a few cases:

Jn 2004, top officials at CIBC went into damage control after the confidential infom1a-
tion of hundreds of Canadian customers was mistakenly faxed to a junkyard in West
Virginia. The error resulted in a review of the company's communication strategy
Three years lat.er, the company again disclosed a security breach, t.h L~ time involving
the loss of 4 70,000 customers' account information, the result of a computeT Ale that
went mL.~sing in transit hetween company offices.
In 2007, discount clothing retailer l:JX Company, the parent company of Winners and
HomeSense, revealed that up to two million Canadian credit cards had possihly heen
accessed hy computer hackeTs.
The Ontario Court of Appeal case of Jrmes v. T~ige hegan with a love affair and ended
in 2012 with a landmark decision that created a new remedy for privac.'Y invasion.
The defendant, Winnie Tsige, was in a common-law relationship with the ex-husband
of the plaintiff, Sandra Jones. The two women had never met, hut hoth worked for
the Bank of Montreal (BMO). Tsige was involved in a financial dL~put.e with her part-
ner and was determined to And out if he was making support payments to Jones.
She used her office computer to access Jones's personal accounts 174 times over a
four-year period. She admitted to her actions when confronted hy BMO and received
a one-week un paid suspension. Jones made a claim for invasion of privacy and dam-
ages, hut the motions judge held that no right to privacy existed under the Canadian
Charter of Rights and Freedoms. This decision was overturned when the courts rec
O!,'llized the tort of lntrusion upon seclusion. This refinement to privacy law involves
three elements: intentional or reckless conduct, intrusion on privacy, and the percep-
tion by a reasonahle person that this action would cause distress or humiliation.
ln late 2012, the popular photo-sharing website lnstagram was rorced to rescin.d contro-
versial changes in its 01iginal tenns of use after thousands of users, including National
Geographic, protested the sites apparent right to sell photos and threatened to stop using
the service. lnstagram had faced controversy before over set.tings governing user p1ivac.7,
hut this time the polic.')'S wording would have allowed advertisers to show user photos
without compen.~ation . CEO Kevin Systrom issued this apology: "lt hec:ame dear that we
 1 I GETTI NG THE MESSAGE ACROSS

fai.lecl to fulfill what I consider one of our most important responsibilities--to communi-
cate our intention..<; clearly. I am son y for that, and I am focused on making it right."'6
In January 2013, news broke of a privacy breach involving the disappearance of a
Human Resources and Skills Development Canadru (HRSDC) hard drive containing
personal information about people who had applied for student loans between 2002
and 2006. Names, dates of birth, loan balances, and SINs of nearly 600,000 people,
along with personal contact information fo r 250 of the department's employees, went
missing. A multi-million-dollar class-act.ion suit was launched.' 1
To combat problems of this kind , P!PEDA and the Privacy Act set down rules for the
management of personal infom1at.ion . Under the law, personal infom1ation should be col-
lected, used, and disclosed only for the legitimate purposes for which it is intended and
with an individual's knowledge (and sometimes consent). P!PEDA's privac.y principles fom1
the cornerstone of most corporate privacy agreements and state that organizations must
meet ten criteria:
provide accountability
identify their reason for collecti ng personal information
gain consent
collect only necessary info rmation
use the information for the intended purpose only
maintain accuracy of the information
provide safeguards
inform individuals of what the information will be used for
give individuals access to their own information
develop straightforward procedures for complaints
Because governments and businesses collect such a wide array of information, compli-
ance with P!PEDA has implications for communications practices at every level. Adopting
new protocols is a step in the right direction , and problems- such as the one C!BC experi-
enced in 2004-can he minimized or avoided altogether with a few simple safeguards:
faxing personal information only when it must he transmitted immediately
taking steps to prevent unauthorized individuals from seeing a document that con-
1.ains personal information
checking the recipient's fax number and ve rifying it in the machine's display \vind ow
hefOTe you send the document
identifying the sender and receiver on the fax cover sheet and including a warning or
disclaimer that the document is int.ended for the rechpient only
calli11g the recipient to verify succes.<;ful transmjssion. of the document
There are also several s teps you can follow, as an employee, to help ensure your
organization meets privacy standards:
Learn about the federal privacy laws and provincial privacy legislation that apply to
you and your organization.
Identify what constitutes "personal information" in your workplace-what can he
legitimately collected, used, and disclosed by fair and lawful means. Many organ-
ization..<;, such as TD Financial Group. have their own privacy agreements (see www
.td .com/privacy/agreement.jsp).
Obtain written, verbal, electronic, or (in some circumstances) implied consent from
customers for the collection, use, and disclosure of a11y of their personal info rmation.
COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

Be accountable for the personal infomiation you collect, use, and disclose and he
proactive in protecting it with security safeguards to prevent unwarranted intrusion ,
release, or misuse.
Giving up some privacy is something you can expect on the joh hecause the premises
and equipment you use belong to yom employei-, the company's human resomces depart
ment needs your personal in formation to manage your pay and heneBts, and your em ployer
needs to ensure I.hat work is bei ng done properly. Infringements on employee pri vacy,
however, are becoming much more common. Video surveillance, on-the-job drug testing,
web-browsing records, and keystroke monitori ng are part of an employer's need to know,
hut this need must he balanced with respect for employees' 1igbts to privac.1.'R Fair. employ
ers have clear policies in place that tell their employees exactly what personal infom1ation
can he collected and how it will he used. Employees should he well advised of weh, e-mail,
and social media policies, random surveillance, and any monitoring of their Internet use.

O What role does communication play in today's business environment?

O What are the differences between soft skills and hard skills?
0 What is communication? Communication theory?
0 What are the areas of communication study and research?
O What are the primary elements of the transactional communication model? How does
the communication process work?
0 What types of barriers can occur in the communication process? How can those barriers
be overcome?
O Name the five communication contexts. How do they differ and what specific skills are
required for each?
O How is non-verbal communication defined? What are the three domains of skills and
abilities that lead to non-verbal competence?
O What are the five roles of non-verbal communication cues?
O What are the four components of non-verbal communication?
0 Which skills are most essential for effective workplace communication?
0 How are the terms internal communication and external communication defined? Give
examples of each type.
0 What are the ways in which information can flow in organizations? What impact can the
kind offlow have on organizational culture?
O What does the term business ethics refer to?
0 What ethical lapses are most common and why do they occur?
O What strategies and practices can you employ to be an ethical communicator?
O What is culture? Cultural intelligence? Cross-cultural competence? Ethnocentrism?
0 What is intercultural communication?
0 What are the dimensions of cultural difference?
O What are the best practices for speaking, listening, and writing interculturally?
O What are the characteristics of high- and low-context cultures?
0 What is privacy? What laws govern privacy protection and regulation in Canada?
O What steps can you follow to help ensure your organization meets privacy standards?

[ WORKSHOPS AND DISCUSSION f'ORUMS
1. Brainstorming Elements of Effective Communication.
As a class or in small groups, discuss the skills and
characteristics essential to effective husiness com-
munication and, from your discussion, devise a list of
words that accurately describe it. Rate each skill on a
scale of 1 to 10, \vith 10 heing most important, and
provide examples to support each characteristic.
2. Analyzing Barriers to Communication. Working in
large groups, play a variation of Broken Telephone.
Nominate a group leader t.o compose a message of
no more than 12 words. The group leader \vill then
whisper this message to the person seated t.o h L~ or
her immediate left or right, who \vill in turn pass it
on to his or her neighhour, and so on. Anyone who
is uncomfortahle \vit.h the process may opt out at any
time. Once the message has made its way through the
entire group, ask the last person t.o say the message
aloud. Repeat the process, only th L~ time ci rculate a
longer or shorter message or write the message on a
scrap of paper and ask each memher of the group to
copy it and pass it on. Once again, ask the last person
to read the final copied message aloud. what hap-
pens t.o each message in the course of its transmis-
sion? Does the message transmit more successfully in
oral or written fom1? Discuss what you have learned
ahout the nature of serial communication.
3. Observing and Analyzing Non-Verbal Cues. Record a
five-inimite conversation between you and a partner.
During video playback, note the use of non-verbal cues
that repeat., contradict, substitute for, complement, or
accen t each partner's spoken message. Note any dis-
crepancies between your verhal and non-verhal com-
munication. Variation: Watch a .5- 10 minute speech or
busi111ess presentation on YouTube or Google Videos.
Note the speakers use of non-verhal cues and discuss
how they contradict or enrich his or her message.
4. Experimenting with Proxemics. In a classroom with
moveable furniture, work in a small group a nd
rearrange the furn iture in the following positions:
in a circle and half-circle
in standard classroom style, with all chai rs facing
one direct.ion
in a random fom1ation
1 I GETTI NG THE MESSAGE ACROSS
Contin ue the class. How do the dynamics of the
j,'foup change according to the seating a rrangement?
S. Experimenting with Personal Space. For this activ-
ity, first work \vitb a partner and then take part in
a small group session . Detem1ine the dividing line
between comfortahle and uncomfortable distance by
saying "contim1e" or "stop" as your partner or group
members move toward you , starting from a distance
of three met.res. Vary the experiment hy pretending
that your partner and group members a re (a) friends
and family memhers and (b) co-workers. Keep a log
of your reactions, according to what is an allowable
distance hetween you and your group members. At
what point did you hegin to feel uncmnfortahle?
6. Taking Stock of Non-Verbal Communication. Working
in a small group, discuss examples of non-verhal
communication (paralan guage, gestures, facial
expressions) that typically eiqmss each of the follow-
ing emotions, sentimenl~. or actions:
happiness or celebration love or flirtation
anger sympathy
sadness praise
shame hello or goodbye
hailing a cah clishdief
showing respect "good luck"
"come here" agreement
"over theren clisagret"1nent
"this one" like
friendship or warmth dislike
Identify at least one example in each case and com
pile a list. To what extent do group members agree on
the meaning of each gesture or expression? ls there a
universal language of gestures, or is t.he meaning of a
gesture culturally determined?
7. Comparing the Meaning of Gestures. In a small
group, have each person work on his or her own to
assign a meaning to each of the following gestures.
shaki ng one's head (side-to-side)
nodding ones head (up and down)
\vinJdng
waving
looking down or averting one's eyes (gaze aversion)
raising ones thumh
 COMMUN I CATING FOR RESULTS
shaking hands with another person
turning one's back on another
roll mg one's eyes
shaking one's fist or finger
point Ing a fmger at someone or somet hing
palling someone's back
lapping one's shoulder
Discuss and compare the meanings th at have been
assigned in each case. Can gestures serve as signals o[
group membership? Can they have secret meanings?
8. Experimenting with Eye Contact. For this acuvity,
work \vith a partner and note and compare your
reacuons to the length and intensity of eye contact.
llegin by maintaining eye contact for two seconds,
increasing by increments of two seconds up to a
total of 20. At what point does your partner's gaze
become unsettling and intrusive? Try the experi-
men t agai n, this time hy looking away (for up to
15 seco nds) hefore you hold a nd in c rease your
gaze. What is the effect of interrupting your gaze or
increasing its frequency?
9. Improving Your Active Listening Skills. In small
groups, have each person perform a one or two-
minute introduction that covers such subjects as that
person's program of study, career goals, school- or
job-related interests, and technological proficiencies.
When every groL1p member has spoken, 1.ake a few
minutes to record what you can rememher of each
person's in troduction. Compare your observations
and recollections with those of other group members.
Discuss what makes the difference between poor
and effective listening. Variation: Choose a partner
to interview about his or her program of study and
interests. llased on what you have learned, deliver a
one minute introduction to the class.
10. Est ablishing Guidelines for Et hical Workpla ce
Communication. Working in a small group, assume
LhaL you and your fellow group memhers are Lhe co-
CEOs of a new business. You are mee ling to est.ab-
lish an ethical framework for your company's i111e rnal
and external communication. Draw up a concise list
of guidelines, or code, for ethical communication in
your workplace. If you need help in starting your
discussion, refer lo "Five Questions that Corporate
Directors Should Ask" at www.ethics.uhc.ca/papers/
invited/5questions.html.
11 . Discussing Cross-.Cultural Communication. In small
groups, invite members who have lived in other
countries or who have first-hand experience of
another culture Lo share their knowledge of busi-
ness philosophy. Compare what you know of North
American business CL!lture with the degree of rormal -
ity, Lime orientation, comm unication styles, and typ
ical busi ness greetings t.hat are considered accep1.able
elsewhere. Prepare the findings of your discussion in
a shon report.
12. Discussing the Facebook Phenomenon. In a small
group, discuss your answers to the following
questions:
How long have you used Facebook?
How long do you spend per day on the site, and
how many times per day do you log on?
What is in your profile?
Who has access to yoL1r profile?
What. privacy seu.i ngs do you use?
What are your online interactions?
What positive outcomes have resulted from your
use of facebook?
Share your findings with your instructor and com
pare them with findings and viewpoints from the
rest of the class. What conclusions can you draw
about Facebook and social networking pla1forms
i.n general?
13. Facing Ethical Challenges. In a brroup, discuss I he fol-
lowing situat ions and decide whether they are per-
missible under any ci rcumstances:
a) using a company phone to make long-distance
calls 10 friends and relatives
b) not informing consumers about weaknesses in
the side door impact panels of your company's
best selling SlN
c) exaggerating qualifications and experiences on
resumt!s and in job Interviews
d) leaking the results of a drug trial [or an impo rt
ant new cance r medication developed by a major
pharmaceutical company
e) revealing details or a patient's medical history to a
prospective employer without the consent of the
patient
f) falsifying one or two figures on an expense repon
g) lying on a performance review to protect a col-
league who 1s also a friend

14. Considering Privacy. ln small groups, review each
of the following scenarios and discuss whether they
constitute hreaches o f privacy according to the ten
principles set out in PIPEDA (see p. J5).
You work at the reception desk in a local han k
branch. A customer rushes in and says that her
boyfriend has lost his last account statement and
desperately needs to review it. She explains that
he is attending a two-day conference out of town
and the ban k will he dosed on Sunday, when he
returns. You ask her for he r boyfriend's name and
access and print I.he monthly statement for her.
You are a financial representative ahout to go on
your lunch break. Before leaving, you phone a
client to set up her pay for direct deposit. You are
not ahle to reach her directly hut leave a detailed
voice-mail message that includes the account infor-
mation , despite the fact that her out.going message
WRITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES
1. Establishing Your Goals in Business Communication.
Write an introductory memo to your instruct.or in
wh i.ch you explain your reasons for taking the course,
the outcomes you hope to achieve, yom strengths
and weaknesses as a writer, the role communication
will play in your chosen profession, and the type of
writing you currently do or expect to do on the joh.
2. Identifying Your Communication Channels and
Choices: Always On. Linguistics professo r Naomi S.
Daron claims that online and mohile tech nologies
such as instant messaging, ce ll phones, Facehook,
biogs, and wikis are transforming how we com-
municate, creating an environment in which we are
"always on" one technology or another.' 0 These tech
nologies offer users the power to control who they
communicate with- with the option of hlocking
incoming !Ms, creating alter egos in virtual worl ds,
and screening cellphone calls. Analyze the percent
age of your day you devote to communications and
estimate the amoun t of time you perform each of
the following:
face- to-face and telephone conversations, e-mail,
and IM (communicating with individuals)
1 I GETTI NG THE MESSAGE ACROSS
does not include her name. Realizing I.hat you have
only 45 mimll.es left for lunch, you rush out-
without logging off your computer- and leave files
and loose documents on your desk.
You are a ban k teller who processes a transact.i.on
for a casual lahourer-tradesperson who does not
have an accoun t at your han k but who frequently
comes in to cash cheques from his clients. As you
finish the transaction and count out his cash pay-
ment, he asks if he may open an account. You dir-
ect him to a financial service rep resentative, who
a~ks for his SIN. He returns to your service area a
few minutes late r, angrily questioning the need to
show his SIN and taking exception to the financial
service representatives insistence that this informa-
tion is required by law. Hint: Refer to the Office of
the Privat')' Commissioner of Canada's fact sheet at
www.priv.gc.caffs. fi/02_05_d_02_e.cfrn.
social networking through hlogs, Facehook, and
micro-biogs such as Twitter (presmting yourself
to others)
Jn a few paragraphs or as a brief e- mail to your
instructor, outline your communication preferences
and descrihe how your commurticat.ion. style, behav-
iour, and self-presen tation change according to the
tech nology or channel you use.
3. Analyzing Your On-the-Job Communication. If
you currently have a job or have recently heen
employed, analyze your on-the-joh communication
hy answering the following qi1estions:
a) What channel(s) do you principally use to com-
municate on the joh?
b) How importan t is communication to the duties
you must perform?
c) Jn what direct.ion does your com1m.mication pri-
marily now- upward, downward. or horizon-
tally? With whom do you primarily communicate
internally and externally?
d) What types of messages/dol'tlments do you typ
ically create or generate? What types of messages/
documen ts do you receive?
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
e) What barriers to communication exist on the job?
f) How does your organization facilitate communi-
cation in the workplace?
g) How formal or informal is it necessary to he when
comlilltuticating on the job?
h) How easy is it to communicate on the job?
i) L~ t.he grapevine in your organization accurate?
When you have answered these questions, draw a
diagram lru1l illustrates the flow of communication in
your workplace.
4. Assessing Communication NHds for Employment.
Rder lo the classified or careers section of any daily
newspaper or to an employm ent website. Review
several advertisements and note the communica-
tion skil l~ that are required for each position. Write a
memo or e-mail to your instructor summarizing the
skills em players want most. Variation: Create a word
table (or matrix) in which you provide examples
from your own work history and experience that cor-
respond to the skills employers seek.
S. Assessing Barriers to Communication. Recall a recent
evelll or situation that made you very angry (e.g.,
a parking ticket, a missed transit connection, an
incidt:nt of road rage, an unfair grade, o r a ruling or
school/government policy \vith which you strongly
disagreed). Write two messages, each seeking restitu-
tion or set.1.lement of the problem. ln the first mes-
sage, vent your grievance and sense of frustration
according to what you felt in the heat of the moment.
Allow at least several hours to elapse-enough time
for you to gai n perspective on the situation- before
you write your second message. Compare the messa-
ges you have wri tten on the basis o [ their tone, con-
tent, and! coherence. DL~cuss how emotional harriers
affect the communication process.
6. Analyzing Non-Verbal Cues. Although it is sometimes
diffi cult to interpret gestu res, body language, and
other non-verbal signals, consider what each of the
following scenarios communicates:
a) Olivia Visconti, human resources direct.or, places
visitors' chairs across the room fTOm her desk and
an artges a coffee table in front of the chairs.
b) Paul O'Donnell averts his eyes when bis team
leader asks him if he has fi nis hed his part of
the report.
c) Bev Saunders places her bands on her hips as she
conducts a training session.
d) Goran Garabedian, while being i.nt.erviewed for a
job, crosses his arm.~ over his torso and. looks at
the floor.
7. Identifying Forms of Internal and External
Communication. Distinguish between the following
types of comm un ication according to whether t.he
message rernai ns inside the organization or goes out-
side the organization:
a) a response to a request for proposals (RFP) that
tenders a hid on a plumbing contract. for a muni-
cipal housing project
b) a group e-mail to staff members who have sib'1'led
up for a series of telecommuting trai ning sessions
c) an announcement of changes to the company
pension plan
d) a press release announcing the hiring of a corpor-
ate legal representative
a) an annual report for shareholders
f) an adjustment lette r settling a claim aga inst your
company
g) a formal report on the outsomcing o f human
resources functions
8. Assessing the Flow of Communication. ln each of the
following situations, conside r whether cmmnunica-
tion is channelled through an upward , downward, or
horizontal flow:
a) an e-mail message to a co-worker in your depart-
ment asking for clarification of the lat.est sales
figures
b) a recommendation report to the president of your
company suggesting t.he development of a staff
incentive or awards program
c) instructions to new hires in your department on
the operation of the photocopier
d) discussions with co-workers over revisions to a
report written collaboratively
e) a policy state ment outlining the firms position on
client privacy L~sues
Discuss the special demands of each message.
9. Recognizing Cultural Differences. Large multinational
corporati ons, such as McDonald's, create websites
for every country or region in which they- operate.
Visit the following sit.es and note the similarities and
differences in language, content, and desi!,'11. Write
a memo, accompanied by URLs or a printout of the
applicable sites, that summarizes and analyzes those
similari ties and differences.

McDonald's Canada www.mcdonalds.ca
McDonald's USA www.mcdonalds.com
McDonalds China www.mcdonalds.com.cn
McDonalds lt.aly www.mcdonalds.it
McDonalds Russia www.mcdonalds.ru
McDonalds Brazil www.mcdonalds.com.hr
10. Und11rstanding th11 Chall11ngas of lnt11rnational
Communication. On your own or with a partner,
interview a company manager who buys, supplies,
or sells t.o customers outside the country and who
must communicate instructions to customers whose
first language is not Engl L~h. Ask your interview sub-
ject about the problems and challenges he or she has
encountered. Present your findings in a memo to
your instructor.
11. Improving lntercultural Communication. The follow-
ing message is int.ended for a reader in another coun-
try. Make it more reader-friendly by eliminating any
colloquial expressions and slang, inflated language,
and acronyms. Simplify se nte nce structures that
are too complex and add pronouns where they are
needed for clarity
l lcASE STUDY EXERCISES
1. The Ethics of Job Blogging. Worlq1lace-relat.ed social
media use, an employee's right to freedom of speech.,
and an employer's right to protect its reputation and
earnfog ability are often at odds. The recent case
of Alberta v. Alberta Union of Provincial Employees
is one instance where social media use crossed the
line from unethical to illegal. In 2008, a bereaved
Alberta governmen t employee attended therapy pro-
vided through her employee assistance program. HeT
therapL~t advised her to deal with feelings of anger
and hopelessness by writing them down. Ove r the
follo\ving months, she vented her emotions through
publicly accessible personal biogs, some of which
attacked management and ridiculed supervisors
and co-workers. lt was clear from the postings that
the employee Lived in Edmonton and worked for a
department of the provincial government. Although
she used alia~es to refer to her co-workers, they could
easily identify themselves and were certain they
could never work with her again. The employee was
1 I GETTI NG THE MESSAGE ACRO SS
Ms. Masako Ito
Honshu Imports
Dear Masako:
I am sure you know slip-ups are bound to
happen from time to time. Since we always play
by the rules, we thought we'd make It up to you
by sending you ASAP another shipment of our
premium maple syrup pro bono. This Is our gift
to you.
Phone me or give my assistant a ring If the
product Isn't up to snuff.
Sincerely,
Jill
term inated \vith cause. The arbitration panel upheld
the termination on the grounds of the hlog's destruc-
tive impact on work relationships.
a) What issues explored in the chapter does this
case raise?
b) Do you agree with the decision in th is case? What
ethical breaches was the employee guilty of? At
what point did she cross t.he line?
c) Is it ever acceptable to discuss work experien-
ces and colleagues via social media platforms?
What are the limits to Free speech when express-
ing personal opinions may damage professional
relationships?
d) What could the employer do in terms of best
practices, regulatio11s, and policies t.o prevent sim-
ilar occurrences? In terms of ethical practice in the
workplace, what could be considered reasonable
constraints and levels of ethical achievement?
11) What are the lessons to be learned rrnm this ca~e?
 COMMUNICATI N G FOR RESULTS
2. Ethical Dilemmas in Fundraising. As an assistant
advancement officer, your job 1s to help your univer-
sity wtth iL~ capital fundraising campaibrns and its leg-
acy, bequest, and planned-giving mllialives. One of
your prospects is George Salemo, aged AA. Salerno is
an alumnus and pensioner with a modest income and
lim ited savings, yet he is deLemiined to endow a large
scholarship in memory of c:lassma1es who were killed
in World War ll. This commitment, as he envL'iions it,
would require him to make a monetary gift in excess
of $500,000 during his lifetime, which would likely
leave him and his 73-year-old wife m financial dis-
tress. Since Salemo first met with you a month ago
to discuss his options as a major gift donor, he has
telephoned you every day to re-affirm his intention to
endow the scholarship. Respecting his generosity of
spiriL, you gen Lly hut repeatedly suggel>l that a planned
t rlbute gift-arranged in his li fetime hut not availahle
10 the university until after his death-would he a bet-
ter opLion, as would briving al a lower level, hut he
won't hear of it. He wants to see big results right away,
to honour and commemorate his fnends.
When you e-mail the vacationing chief advance
ment officer about Salerno's intentions, he is over-
joyed. The rate of scholarship endowment and major
giving has dropped dramatically during 1he economic
downtu rn and your institution has failed 10 meet tar-
gets ror five successive years. Your unit has lost two
memhers to downsizing as a result. S1ill, you're not
su re he app reciates the complexiLies or Lhe situaLion.
Today, you receive a panicked phone call from
Mr~ . Salerno, who tells you that her husband has
put their house up for sale without her knowledge.
Lately, she said, he has been behaving oddly and has
been uncharacteristically forgetful. Before today, he
had never mentioned the scholarship lo her. She
thinks that he may he showing signs of dementia. As
a rundraiser, you must abide by an eslahlished eth-
ical co<le, but you al~o face pressures 10 meet defined
Fundraisi ng targets.
a) Whal are your options for acting ethically in this
situation?
b) What communication failures contributed to this
situation and how could they he addressed?
3. lntercultural Communication Non-Startu. Shuangx:i
Development, a builder of luxury apartments in
Shanghai, is negotiating with Halifax-based Evolution,
a design firm specializing in certified high-end kitch
ens and baths, regarding a three-tower, 1,500-unil
project. This deal would mark the first time that
Evolution would do business in a foreign market.
Four months ago, a Shuangxi delegation indud
ingjohn Yi, chier architect, visited Halifax. Yi 1ome<l
Evolution's s howroo m a nd manufacturi n g plant,
had a Ave-hour consultation with designers, viewed
developments for which Evolution had received pres-
tigious international awards, and met \vith manage
ment regarding the project's needs and specificauons.
He was also honoured at two formal dinners, hut not
all Evoluuon executives could attend due to travel
conflicts or illness. Yi seemed impressed with the
company hut disappointed that the dinners were not
better atLen<l ed.
Three monlhs or extensive online comm un i
catio n followed , durin g which Evolution sought
the advice o r the Canadian Chamber of Commerce
and the Canadian trade commissioner in Shanghai.
Then Jack Fullerton, Evolution's vice-president,
and Iona Campbell, its chief designer, were tnVltt:d
to Shanghai to negotiate the final details and sign a
nouce of intent. Both felt that the negotiations had
already taken a great deal of time and effort and were
eager to get started. When they arrived, they were
greeted hy Shuangxi CEO Viet.or Zhu, chauffeured Lo
their luxury hotel, en1ertained lavishly at a banquet,
and for the first two days toured ci ty landmarks with
five Shuangxi representatives. On the third day, they
believed that negotiations would begin in earnest,
hut the sight seeing continued. Through his inter-
preter, Fullerton asked, "Look, weren't we supposed
to get down to business today?" Yi and his colleagues
said nothing hut appeared upset.
When talks began the next day, a large group
from Shuangx.i au.ended, including Zhu. Through 1he
interpreler, he complimented Evolution on its com-
pact, forwar<.1-look ing desib>nS and commi Lm ent Lo
sustai nability; however, as soon as each item on the
agenda was resolved, he seemed determined to return
to earlier items. Fullerton was confused: "l laven't we
already addressed that issue?" ln all previous discus-
sions, Z.hu had been happy with the quoted prices, but
he suddenly began to say, "Too expensive. We ask for
a 30 per cent discount." Fullerton and Campbell were
outraged hut did their best to remain conciliatory. Zhu

then asked about Evolutions special patented hinge
and wanted t.o speak to the engineer who had designed
it, even though the part had heen fully explained in
the opening present.at.ion. Concerned that th ings we-re
going hadly, the Evolution team called in an assist.ant
trade commissioner. However, Zhu was called away to
or.her husiness and Yi, who expressed his appreciation
for Evolution\; work and his faith in their continued
co-operation, assumed his role.
Fullerton and Campbell left Chi na with a signed
notice or intent, even though the two sides hadn't
r
l ONLINE ACTIVITIES
1. Best Practices and Winning Strat11gi11s of Leading
Communicators. In a small group, go to the COTY
Award wehsite, review the evaluation criteria, and
select a name from the l L~t of past \vinners. lnfoml
your instructor of your choice. Perform an o nline
search to find one or two articles in which the award -
willners approach to communication is reported or
disrnssed. From the article, identify t.he winner's most
import.ant strategies and prepare an informal two- or
three-minute presentation in which you share those
strategies with the class. At the end of everyones
presentation , draft a list of the top ten strategies and
practices that are shared by all COTY winners.
http://toronto.iahc.cmn/awarcl!coty/
2. Corporate Social Responsibility. Watch these corporate
CSR videos and make a list or the values each company
associates with its practices and the initiatives that
demonstrate them. How does each tell its CSR story?
Bomhardier
www.youtube.cmn/watch?v.,qlvKwzfvxkg&:list
PlETczq09_ZCxsHeFw5vDaVAo3UKhxbb8m
&:indexcl6
Coca-Cola
www.youtuhe.cmn/watcb?v ByHcNZ2c8Mo
KPMG
www.youtuhe.com/watch?v=m-SW2S9j IJE
3. Sustainability and Corporate Social Responsibility
Reporting. Individually or in a small group, select
three companies from The Globe and Mail's 201.1 list of
t.he top 100 employers. Visit each company's corporate
1 I G ET TI NG THE MES S AGE ACROSS
agreed on the price of some components or on a
final project schedule. Two weeks lat.er, they were
astonished to receive an e-mail from Zh u stating that
Shuall.brxi would he supplied by a Scandinavian inn.
a) What caused Evolution to lose the Shuangxi deal?
b) Think ahout this scenario as you read "Doing
Business in China the Streetsmart Way" at www
. in te rn ati ona l. gc. ca/dsi.-icse/dl-cai/magazine/
v06n01/l-2-eng.asp. What could both sides have
done differently to build a mo re L1nderstanding
and successful relationship?
wehsite and find infom1atio11. related to v.he company's
sustainability or corporate social n:sponsibili ty
reporting. What measures and practices contrihute to
sustainable development in each case?
www.thegloheandmail.cmn/report-on-business/
careers/top-employers/list-of-canaclas-top-100
-employers-for-2013/article4598442npage all
4. Employability Skills Quiz. Take the quiz offe red on
the Government of Canada's Service Ca nada website.
Answer each question hy rating yourself at one of
three levels: 1) I'm not as skilled as I'd like; 2) I'm
skilled; 3) I'm very skilled. The quiz takes approxi-
mately five minutes to complete.
http://jobsetc.gc.ca/toolbox/checklists/
employahility.jsp?lang=e
S. Canada's Bast Diversity Employers. Report on Bu~iness
holds an annual competition, sponsored by BMO
Financial Group, t.o identiry Canada's best diversity
employers. Individually or in a small group, choose
three companies from the list of 201J winners and
ind out why they won by clicking on the corres-
ponding links. Prepare a short presentation in which
you summarize the measures employers h.ave begun
to adopt in order to address diversity and inclusion.
www.canadastoplOO.com/diversity/
6 . Body Language Activities. These exercises are desib'l'led
t.o help you tune in to the subtleties of body language.
Along with warm-up exerdses, you will find activities
that involve mirroring the body language of others.
http://truecenterpuhlishing.com/t<:p/hodylang.html
 COMMUNICATI N G FOR RESULTS
7. Privacy and Your Workplace. Individually or as a
group, watch the following video summanzmg pri
vacy principles as outlined in PIPEDA:
www.youtuhe.com/watcb?v kwoN8e9sl[I
Discuss how your knowledge of lhe lt: n prin-
ciples could affect your own praclices o n 1he joh.
8 . Active Listening Games and Exercises. Tes t Quest:
Active listening is a weh page maintained hy
Northeastern Educational Television of Ohio. O n it,
you will find quick-reference listening tips as well as
links to online listening games and exercises.
http://westemreservepuhlicm edia.orwtestquest/
listen.htm
9. Listening Skills Quiz. Read Maile fosters article "Back
to Basics Part 2" on how to improve your listening
skills, 1hen try the 25-question self-scoring quiz to
find ouLIliow your listening skills measu re up.
www. hasis.cmn/advantage/v1On4/markeli ng
_matters.html
10. The Business Culture in Other Countries. Select a coun-
try from the menu on the Centre for lntercuhural
Leaming website. Note the political, economic, and cul-
tural considerations for doing business in that country.
www.intercultures.ca/cil-cai/ countryinsights
a p ercu~ pays-eng.asp
11 . PIPEDA. Wa1ch the video or read the prinl version of
an overview of the PIPEDA as discussed hy Privacy
Commissione r Jennifer Stoddart. When you are
clone, write a two- or three-paragraph s ummary.
www.prlvcom.gc.ca/speech/2 004/vs/index_e.asp
12. Privacy Quiz: How Well Do You Know Your Privacy
Rights? Try the interactive quiz, which covers issues
such as e-mail privacy and the tracking of your trav-
els on the World Wide Web, on the following site.
Chck on an answer and receive an explanauon of the
question-related issue.
www.priv.gc.ca/youthjeunes /quiz/index_e.asp
13. Company Ethics Codes. Read the ethics codes for 1he
followi ng companies and look fo r similari1 ies among
them. Summarize your findings on the Fundamental
srnndard s of most organizational ethics codes.
Merck &:: Co. Inc.
www.merck.com/about/cond uct.html
Motorola
http://responsibility.m otorola.corn/index.php/
overview/husconduct/#ethic s
14. User Privacy on Social Networking Sites. Many users
rely on default seuings when it comes to their social
networking practices and most do not pay close
attenLion to terms of use agreements or privacy poli-
cies. How much privacy do these agreemen ts, poli-
cies, and seLLings guarantee you? Review your privacy
setting and any agreements you have accepted. Note
your concerns. Do 1he privileges of using the site out
weigh those conce rns? What aspects of your privacy
have you traded away in exchange for your right to
social network?
15. Facebook as a Business Tool . Find a company that
has a Facebook profile. How does this company
use the site to promote tlS products and services or
to pul forth i1s mission statement and inc rease i1s
market share?
16. Corporate Mission Statements. Analyze the follow
ing co rporate mission state ments from prnmlnent
Canadian companies. What values are mos t com
monly represented? What does the organization in
each case promise to do for stakeholders (customers,
employees, owners, and society at large) m exchange
for their loyalty and commitment?
Gildan Activewear Inc.
www.gen uinegildan.com/en/company /
ouT>approach/
Lockheed Marlin Canada
www.locl<heedmartin.ca/ca/w ho-we-are/misslon
-statement.hi.ml
lululemon
www.lululemon.com/about/m anifesto
RBC
www.rhc.com/ahoutus/vision andvalues.html
TELUS
http://intouchmobility.com/m ission.htm
Tim Horton's
www.timhonons.com/ca/en/a bout/mediacompany
-facts.html
17. Personal Mission Statements. Read the ins tructions
from "Creating Your Personal Mission Statement" and
create a stntemem that renects your values and goals.
www.uoguelph.ca/cera/PDFs/ Creating%
20Personal%20Mission%20S tatements.pdf
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
1. Recognize the four key concepts In
understanding the writing process.
2. Take contextual factors and genre differences
Into consideration when you write.
3. Identi fy steps In the writing process.
4. Plan a message according to Its purpose,
scope, audience, most appropriate channel,
and content.
5. Use prewrltlng techniques such as
brainstorming, mapping, and questioning to
generate content and gather Ideas.
6. Organize business documents by creating
Informal and formal outlines.
7. Apply strategies for overcoming writer's
block and writing under pressure.
8. Employ guidelines for revising and editing
your messages and critiquing the writing
of others.
9. Use methods for effective group
communication, lncludlng collaborative
writing.
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
To read the full Communications
Policy of the Government of Canada,
visit http://goo.gi/bxlicH.
contextual factors elements of a
wrlttng task. such as the situation,
organization's procedures. and
readers, that Influence the Writer's
choices at every step.
MOST PEOPLE know a good letter, report, or e-mail message when they read one, but
saying what makes It work or writing one them selves can be a different story. Getting the
words out and onto the page takes skill, planning, and some problem-solving ability. Any
message Is, after all, a structure of logical relationships. It demands serious thought as to
how words, sentences, and paragraphs are merged Into a comprehensible and focused
statement that achieves Its goals with style, clarity, and convincing argument and meets
the needs of readers, Including stakeholders and decision-makers. These days, written mes-
sages rarely go the route of word-processing pools, where they could be refined and cor-
rected. With computer-equipped workstations and mobile devices, business professionals
assume greater responsibility for their messaging, and a lot relies on how well the finished
products work In maintaining trust and credibility.
A recent Conference Board of Canada study reported that 30 per cent of employers
rated new workforce entrants with a four-year degree as deficient In written communica-
tion.' This lack of skill can affect both an employee's and organization's success. For Elizabeth
Short, a major events and show manager for some of the world's best-known brands,
"one Ill-conceived email can spell disaster for contract negotiations, equipment orders,
or client expectatlons:2 Organizational and communication skills, as well as attention to
detail, are crucial In Short's business, where taking a ca sual approach can have un1lntended
side effects, such as appearing unprofessional and
Inexperienced.
The Communications Polley of the Government
of Canada Is a good place to look for the qualities
and practices of effective communication. Although
It Is Intended for use In the public sector, this docu-
ment also applies more generally to all types of
professional communication and to the multiple
considerations of the writing process-providing
timely and accurate Information, considering read-
ers' concerns, working collaboratively- that we will
explore In this chapter.
Writing in Context: Four Key Concepts
The rollowing concepLs are useful in understanding t.he experience of writing, from first
considerations to the confi dence earn ed hy knowing how t.o communicate in many forms
and in meaningful ways. Th is unde rstand ing can help you hecome a stronger writer and
he hett.er able t.o reflect on the practice of writing.
CONTEXTUAL FACTORS
Communkation never takes place in a vacuum. It is embedded in and emerges in response
to specific sill.1ations and is linked to what members of an o rganization must feel , know,
or believe in order to accomplish their goals. 3 Though much wri ting in the workplace is
done independently, wTiting overall involves and in turn shapes social interactions. Power
conflicts, coll ahorations, and the giveand t.ake of negotiations can therefo re he expected.+
Contextual factors such as the writing situation, an organizations procedures, and the
documents readers are fo rces t.hat. influence the writ.er\; decisions at every step., Writing
 2 I GETTI N G STARTED: PLA NNIN G AND WRITING BUS I NESS M ESSAGES

theorisl~ Lisa Ede and Andrea Lunsford describe writing as "socially constructed." In
other wo rds, it is I.he product or hy-product. of human choices. Wri ting effectively is thus a
matter of makillg logical and strategic choices ill a given situation.

GENRES
Genres are various agreed-upon forms of writl llg that develop in respollse to recur- genres the agr<ledupon formsof
rent situations. For instance, the resume, with its distinctive formatting, categories of writing that develop In response
to recurrent situations and that
information, and conciseness, was an answer to applicmits' and employers' needs in the allow users to act purposefully In a
job-search process.7 Developed and made coherent over ti me, genres I.end to differ in particular acuvlty.
fomiat (the visual or spatial design of the document) and structure (the arrangement of
topics). Genres allow things to get done. They are tools used in ce rtaill situations that let
users act purposefully in a particular activity." Learnfog ahout husiness genres and the
situation in which each one applies is an important step in managing the challenges of
workplace wii ting.

DISCOURSE COMMUNITIES
No maller what posi tion, responsibilities, or profile you have in your organization, you
st.art gai njng ei..11ertise as part of one or more "discourse communities" the moment you
write or s peak on t.he job or prepare and train for that work. A discourse community is a discourse community a group of
group of communicators who share a goal or interest in adopting a way of participating in communlCiltors who share agoal
or Interest In adopting a way of
a puhlic discussion." These ways, known as dL~cursive practices, involve using particular participating In a public discussion,
genres and t.emi inology. Depending on your career pat.Ji, you \vill find yourself part of Including the use of particular
many discourse commmtities of varyi ng size all.cl specialization. For example, you might genres and tc rmlnology.
he a cont.ributor to a corporate hlog, an editor of and cont.1ibut.or to a medical journal, or
part of a group of municipal government workers and representatives working to establish
brreen-living guidelines. Workplace practitioners may in fact belong to several discourse
commun it.ies, often at the same time and sometimes requiring them to write in many dif-
ferent wuys as part of a day's work. According to genre theorist John Swales, 10 discourse
communities have six defining characteristics:

communal interest and common public goal

a fornm or means ror partici pation and intercommunication between members (e.g.,
meetings, e-mails, texts, blog postings)
exchange of information and feedback
genre development (based on brroup expectations about the appropriateness of topics
and how elements of the genre are placed and what function they serve)
specialized temiinolob'Y (community-specific abbreviations, acronyms, and in-jokes)
expertise (a good ratio of experts to novices ensures members can become experts on
content and discourse)

RHETORICAL SITUATIONS
Rhetoric is a term that can be defined in many ways. At its most basic, it describes the
effective i.1se of language to achieve certain , often persi.iasive, goals ending in a change of
perspectives held hy others. Rhetoric can also refer to a111 awareness of the choices made
in wTitin:g. Writing that is intended to change opinions, attitudes, o r behaviours requires
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
Every profession I nvolves
Its own set of contextual
factors, genres, and discourse
communities. For example, a
judge writes casedecisions and
articles for legal journals, while
a teacher completes lesson
plans and student report cards,
and a tradesperson fllls out
work orders, Invoices, and
union forms.
Source: Creat11JThlnks.tock
prewrltlng th<! proccsrnf
gathNlng Ideas and establishing
tho purpose, audlancc, and
channel for a message.
special thought to what theorist Lloyd Bitzer has called "the rhetorical situation," or the
circumstances in wh ich individuals commtmicat.e. There are three components to t.he
rhetorical situation:
exigence (the reason for speaking out urgently on a topic or issue)
audience (those with an interest in reacting to the exigence)
constraints (t.he limitations on what can he said and the factors shaping the content
and nature of the message) 11
Being ahle to analyze a rhetorical situation can make your writing stronger, mme organ-
ized, and more reader-Friendly.
Not all situations are rhetorical, however. For instance, powerful natural phenom-
ena, such as d roughts or storms, are not in themselves rhetorical situations hecause they
cannot he changed or prevented! through the t1se of rhetoric. But what can be altered is
the human response to or preparntion for such disasters. A true rhetorical situation is an
insurance agent writing a letter to remi nd and convince a client to renew his or her policy
hefore it expires.
Steps in the Writing Process
ln the future, perhaps, we can imagine husi ness communication that is entirely spontan-
eous and completely effonless, resulting in a perfect finished prod uct every time without
the need for forethought, shaping, or polishing. For now, though, the most reliahle rollt.e
to a successful Anished product is a process fo r generating, organizing, and translat-
ing ideas into text. This process involves several overlapping parts or stages that. can he
repeated multiple times:
Prewriting involves assessi111g the purpose, audience, and most appropriate channel
for the communication.
 2 I GETTI N G STARTED: PLA NNIN G AND WRITING BUS I NESS M ESSAGES

Organizing and outlining entail~ mapping out the most stratebric and logical arrange
metlt. of ideas and details.
Draf ting is the writing of the actual message by choosing the precise wording and the
style: of organization that delivers information most strategically.
Revising and editing represent a last chance for improving your document, but these
steps include more than just getting rid of mistakes. In this stage, you evaluate your
draft. from your readers' point of view and check for completeness, coherence, accur
acy, consistency, conciseness and appropriateness of language, and organization.

These steps are normally thought of as recur-

sive rat.her than as part of a locked-in system. That
is, wri ters are free to return to and repeat an ear-
lier stage at any point. In editing, for example,
a writer may find the need to hrainstorn1 addi-
t.ional content or re-thfok what the reader needs. Visit the Purdue Online Writing Lab for
leaving out any of these steps or taking too many a comprehensive guide to the writing
short.cuts can lead to communicat.i.on that causes process: http://goo.gl/pGCnm.
misunderstandings and frayed tempers and yields
poor results. Effective documents come about
through a gradual refinement that doesn't neces
sarily itwolve a great deal of time. ln fact, the more
you follow this process, the easier and more nat
ural good writing becomes until it is simply second nature. Your \vritten message \vill he
more easily interpreted, more readable, and more relevant to its audience.
Making this four-step process part of your regular writing routines can simplify com
munication tasks and reduce the time it takes to complete them. After all, there is more
to writing than just keying in a document or jotting down whatever crosses your mind.
While all writing involves the making of decisions, effective w1iting involves the making
of informed decisions. Thinking ahead allows you to cat.ch problems before they become
lt1S1.1rn1ount.able and to size up the context in which your. communicat.ion will be received
so it is more likely to have an impact, receive the response you desire, and accomplish
what it is meant to do. Taking one last look and reviewing what you have written before a
document leaves your hands enables you to check that your communication meets your
original requirements and maintains the standards of professionalism demanded by you
and your firm. This final step ensures I.hat your mistakes don't become someone else's
problem. Perhaps the best part of learn ing this process is that the skills you acquire can
be applied to other forms of communication, such as oral presentations and deliverables
(see Chapter 12).

MESSAGE PLANNING
In wTiting a document or making a presentation, you usually have only one chance to
get your message across accurately and \vith impact. There are no second chances to cor-
rect mistakes or misunderstandings, no opportunities to "get it right" the second time.
Planning and preparation are forms of rL~k prevention- your best insurance against mis-
commur1ica1.ion. ln helping you get it right I.he first time, these steps ensure that your
communication achieves its intended purpose and meets the needs of its audience while
COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

conveying infonnation clearly, accurately, and concisely. Planning contributes to buslness

commu11ication that is

Purpose-driven. Effective bi.1siness communication is carried out to fulfill a specific

purpose, whether it be to convey information or to solve a problem.
Audience-focused. Skilled communicators profile their audiences and shape each
message according to I.he needs, interests, and knowledge of a particular individual or
group. They know that relevance can depend on looking at information or a problem
from the audience's perspective rather than their own.
Concise. Only freelance journalists are paid by the word- business communkators
practise word economy and imderstand that making a document or presentation
longer will not necessarily improve it. A message should consist of only the numher of
words needed to present ideas clearly and courteously.

PREWRITING
Thinking a message through is the best thing you can do to simplify the communica
tion process. The longer and more complex a message, the more that can be gained
from proper preparation and planning and the less you can afford to simply say or write
whatever comes to mind. Thinking critically about your subject, the reason for your
communication, and its intended audience hrings the brreatest bendits to written cor-
respondence and reports, hut it also applies to any sizable oral presentation. Planning or
prewriting involves analyzing the writing task and its context. Each time you write, take a
few seconds to analyze the context in which your message wi ll he received by performing
the following actions:

Identify the primary purpose of the document.

Estimate the scope of the subject you must cover.
Detem1ine your receiver's needs.
Select the channel that is most appropriate for your message.
Collect the infom1ation you p lan to exchange.

Doing these thlngs will help you adapt your message to the sitllation and tailor it to the
readers' needs.

Purpose
Business communication ls purposeful and results-oriented. For every message you write
and for every rhetorical situation, you must first understand your reason for communi-
cating and what purpose your message is meant to achieve. Once the goal you need to
accomplish is clear, you will have an easi.er t.ime organizing and composing your mes
sage and be ahle to shape how its readers will receive it. Forgetting the reason ror writing
increases the chance that a message will fail- for example, the writer of a claim letter may
describe a faulty product but neglect to ask for an adjustment, or a conbrratulatory e-mail
may fail to foster goodwill.
Most business communication has only one of two broad purposes: to infom1, which
is the most common purpose, or t.o persuade. Commonly, messages may have multiple
purposes-a primary and a secondary. A letter infom1ing customers of new stOTe hours,
for example, can also be used as an opportunity to convey goodwill and e11courage
 2 I GETTI N G STARTED: PLA NNIN G AND WRITING BUS I NESS M ESSAGES

future business. ln business, people communicate with each other for one or more of the
following reasons:

to request or provide information

to create a record
to announce changes or achievements
to explain a policy or procedure
to give instructions
to persi1ade or enc01.1rage action
to convey good \vishes and promote good\vill

ln defining the reason ror writing or speaking, also consider what you want your
receivers to know and believe when they have read the document or heard you speak
and what their purposes for reading o r listening may he, for instance, to receive instruc-
tion or not.ice or to evaluate. Keep in mind the particular result you are seeking from your
audience-a general response, a specific action, approval for an initiative, or a decision.

Scope
Scope refers to the breadth and depth of detail in a document relative to the subject that scope the breadth or llmltattons of
must he covered. Understanding the scope o r your message can help you weed out irrel- a document's coverage.
evancies that can otherwise bore receivers and bury your most important infom1ation.
After all, why write a three-screen e-mail when all the receiver really expects is a few com-
pact but inrormative sentences? Too little detail, on the other hand, can make ror a trivial
or pointless message. Ilefore you begin to compose your document or launch your oral
presentation, consider how detailed or technical it must be to achieve its purpose, answe r
people's quest.ions and concerns, and enahle them to a.cl on your message. Familiarize
yourself 'vith t.he level of detail I.hat is norm ally considered accept.ahle for similar doLU
ments or deliverables in your workplace. Carefully follow th.rough on instruct.ions and
he mindful of corporate and industry standards while taking into account the receiver's
expectations ahout length, fom1at, and visual elements.

Audience Profile
Acts of communication are perrom1ed with an individual or group in mind, and we desii:,'ll
our messages in order to connect with those specific audiences, even if they are large or
dispersed . In business today, it is common to communicate with people you may never
meet face to [ace and about whom you can only make a. series of informed assumptions.
Even so, it is useful to focus your message hy thinking about the members of your audi-
ence beforehand and evaluating their needs within the context of their organizational
culture (what they do and where they work) and cultural environment (what their back-
grounds are). No other single factor can have such an impact on the success of wri.u.en or
oral communication as giving serious thought to an audience and its needs and resources
in the cm1text of the rhetorical situation . 12
You may he lucky enough to have communkated wit h a particular audience hefore or
to have gained k11owledge through your organization's previous dealings with an individ-
ual. If your cont.act with t.he receiver has heen limited, however, it is still possible to learn
a great deal from an initial contact. Speakers have the advantage of having their audience
right in front of them, hut writers have Lo "construct" their audiences more often. While
you should guard against false a.,<;sumptions, you can also make a few educated guesses
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
audience analysis the process
of assessing the needs and
knowledge of reader~ and
listeners and adapting messages
accordingly.
hased on the receiver's professional posit.ion and responsihilities. 1l Applying this analysis
through audience adaptation ca111 influence how a message is received and increase it.s
chances for success, especially iI you are able to put yourself i.n the receiver's place and see
beyond your own perspective. In fact, knowledge or an audience's needs, beliefs, expect.a
tions, and attitudes is essential to successful wri ting. 14 An audience foL1.1sed message has
immediate and unmistakable relevance and works toward reversing the mass-produced,
rL1hber-stamped hoilerplat.e quality for which routine business communication oft.en gets
a bad reputation.
Audience analysis and adaptation is sometimes done unconsciously, almost out of
habit, hut in other cases it may require serious consideration to determine w hat your
receive r is like. Asking the following questions may help:
l. What are the receiver's responsibilities and position? Understanding the receiver's
responsibilities will help you detemiine how the infomiation you pass on will he used.
Also ask yourself if you are communicating with a superior (for instance, a supervisor),
a subordinate, or a co-workt-:r. Considering the receiver's position relative to your own
can help you select the approp1iate level of fonnality and L1.llt.ivate a tone that balances
dererence and authority. A message to a long-time business associate may he more
easy-going and familiar in its tone and language, hut using the same style in a memo to
your supervisor may risk offence through the lack of respect it conveys.
2. What are the receiver's attitudes, interesL~, and questions? Think about the level
of importance the receiver will assign to the message. A lack of interest on the receiv
ers part may require you t.o compensate by giving additional emphasL~ to key points,
highlighting the relevance in a subject line, or making the action the receiver is sup-
posed to take easier. Shaping a message to the receivers needs can also involve antici-
pating the questions that the person might ask.
3. What is your experience with the receiver? Based on personal or professional
expelience you or your colleagues may have had wit.h the receiver, you can predict
possible areas of need or conflict that you should take into account when shaping
your message. Consider the situational and organizational influences on your receiver.
when you must communicate with someone who views you or your organization
negatively, it may require extra effort on your part-and careful control of tone and
emphasis-not to let reciprocal hostility or defensiveness interfere with your ability to
get the message across tactfully and professionally.
4. How much does the receiver know about the subject? Th e readers level of know-
ledge will determine the amount and type of detail, background, and explanation
included in the message. Estimating exactly what to include can he difficult, as it
carries the rL~k of patronizing, confusing, or annoying t.he receive r. Receivers bring
differing levels of knowledge and understanding to a given subject, depending on
whether they are laypersons, managers, or experts. Refrain rTom telling receivers with
technical expertise or specialized knowledge too much of what they al ready know (for
example, don't define key terms they use daily). The same applies to managers, who
may have a low tolerance for technical details but a general concern for findlings and
recommendations. On the other hand, avoid overestimating the knowledge receivers
may have and failing to define key terms or concepts or neglecting t.o interpret spe
ciaHzed infom1ation they will need to follow instructions. Build on the know ledge the
receiver may already have hy lin~king it with new facts.
 2 I GETTI N G STARTED: PLA NNIN G AND WRITING BUSINESS M ESSAGES

5. What is the receiver's likely response? Anticipate what the receiver'.-; reaction t.o
your message will he-neutral, receptive, or resistant. If the receiver is unlikely to
abrree with you, he prepared to use pe rsuasive strategies or structure your message
according to an indirect pattern that presen ts an explanation hefore t.he main message.
6. What words define your relationship with the receiver? Be deliberate in your
choice of pronouns (I, you, we), as these words can define or change yom relation
ship with the receiver. Pronouns can al~o make a significant difference to your tone.
Con..c;ider the point o r view that represents the most effective way of addressing or
appealing to the receiver.
7. ls there more than one receiver? Receivers with whom you must communicate
to achieve your purpose are your primary audience. Primary audiences are key primary audience the Intended
decision-makers, usually managers, team memhers, or clients. Anyone else who may, rccclVcr of a message; the person
or persons who will use or act on a
ind irectly, happen to read or listen to your message forms your secondary audience. message'sInformation.
Secondary audiences include
em ployees who need to know how changes hrought ahout hy managerial decisions secondary audience anyone,
other than the prtmary audience,
will affect them
who Wlll receive a message and be
people removed from or wi thout authority to make final decisions hut with some affected by tl\e actlon or decision
in fluence over or input into them It callsfor.
gatekeepers who may conr.rol the flow of information
Because electronic messages can be rorwarded and documents can be called as evi-
dence in legal cases, there is no way to know for certain where the messages you send
may end up. For this reason, it makes good sense to uphold ethical and legal stan
<lards in all communication.
8. Do you need to adapt your message for an international receiver? Consider
what you need to take into account ahout the receiver's hackbrrotmd, environ ment,
and beliefs.
9. Does the receiver have particular expectations? Tihe receive r may int.end to use the
document in a particular way, which will influence his or her expectations ahout the
document's length and fom1. Consider how and for what purpose th e receiver will use
the document and what the receiver must be able to do, decide, or understand after
reading it. Give thought to how the receiver will learn from or interact with the text or
how it can he used in problem-solving. Adjusting sentence length, chunking in.forma
tion, changing the organization and level of detail, adding or omitting information,
inserting list headings, strengtheni ng transi tions, and amending word choice are all
options for making your document more user-friend ly.

To make the I.ask of answering these questions easier, try to envision your reade r
hy imagil1ing that he or she is sitting across from you as you write. Performing audience
analysis can also help you define reader benefits for infonnat.ive and persuasive messages
by uncovering facto rs t.hat wi ll motivate readers. Reader henefits are the advantages the reader benefits the advantages
receiver stands to gain hy complyi ng with your policy, supporting your idea, huying your the reader gains by complytng with
what the writer proposes In buying
product, or using your se rvice.
products. following policies, or
endorsing Ideas.
Medium or Channel
The medium or channel for a message is its vehide of transmission. Given t.hat several medium or channel the physical
channels may o rten suit your needs, choosi ng the hest one depends on its appropriate means by which an oral or wrlncn
message Is transmlned.
ness to the messaging situation and your purpose in communicating-to solve a probl em,
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

collahorate, pass on in rom1atim1, or estahlish rapport. It also has to do with how well
you understand the receiver's preferences. You have a choice of traditional means such as
memos and letters, face-to-face meetings, and telephone calls or more recellt technologies
such as e-mail, voice mail, text messaging, and video conferencing. To assess which chan-
nel is best for your purpose, consider the follO\ving factors:

Accuracy of transmission required. Is the channel susceptible to technical difficul-

richness a quallty of 1he types
of cues by which meaning cnn be
dQrlvcd From a mQSsagQ.
ties or can you count on its reliahility? Think hack to your most recent had cellphone
connection for an example of how misunderstand ings can result from channel harriers.
Speed of transmission required. Does the message have to reach someone
quickly? Telephone, text message, e-mail, and voice mail are good options in
time-sensitive situations.
Cost of the channel. You should he ah le to j ustify the cost of transmitting a message
according to its importance and urgem:y.
Need for a permanent record. lnstrnctions, policies, and legally hinding agree-
ments have more than a passing importance and must he recorded and archived for
future reference.
Detail of the message. lf your message is complex or highly detailed, you should
avoid channels such as telephone or voice mail, which cannot accommodate a high
level of detail or precise wording. Written comm unication is hetter for this purpose.
Importance of the message. Certain channels project more authority and command
more respect than others. For an initial contact, a fomlal husiness letter may com-
municate a companys professionalism in a way that an e-mail message does not.
Privacy required. E-mail is an unsuitable means to tran..<mlit confidential information
or private messages.
Size and location of the audience. Channels such as e-mail are effective for com-
municating with a large, dispersed audience. When travel is impractical, video confer-
encing can bring together people who are spread out geographically and allow them
to hoth see and hear one another.
level of fomiality required. The decision of whether to write a formal business
letter or simply pick up the phone depends on your relationship to the receiver and
your purpose.
ltmnediacy of the feedback required. Some channels, such as the teleph one or a
face-to-race conve rsation, allow for immediate feedhack . H you use other channels,
such as voice mail, a hard -copy letter, or e-mail, feedback will he de layed, so he pre
pared to wait for it.
level of contml over how the message is composed. If yo u must word your
message carefully, your best chann el choices are hard-copy lette r, e-mail, and voice
mail. On the telephone and in face-to-face conversations, you will have to think on
your feet.
Richness of the chann el. Richness refers to the different types of cues-verbal and
visual- from which meaning can he inferred. A rich medium is better ror huilding
rapport. If you have to deliver had news, the tone of voice and facial expressions yoi1
use in a face-to-face conversation convey an empathy and sensitivity that cannot be
so easily expressed in an e-mail message, where visual cues are ahsen l and tonal <.'l1es
can he misleading.
Preferences of your organization. An organization may have preferences ahout
which channel you use for certain types of communication. Learn your employers
policies as soon as you can and follow them closely.
 2 I G ETTI N G STAR T ED: P LANNIN G AND WR ITI N G B US I NE SS M ES SA G E S

TABLE 2. 1 Channels and Their Benefits

CHANNEL BENEFIT

Report or proposal For delivering extensive data internally or externally

Letter on company stationery For initial contacts with customers, suppliers, and outside associates, or when you need a written
record of subsequent correspondence with them

Memos For internal communication, when you need a written record to issue reminders, outline policies,
explain procedures, or gather information

Email For less formal communication replacing letters and memos; when you ask for feedback, solicit
opinions, start discussions, collect data, or send information with or without an attachment; useful for
communicating with large, decentralized groups; not appropriate for sending private or emotionally
charged information

Fax For recipients who do not have access to email, when information must be received quickly and
viewed in its original form
Telephone call For gathering or sharing information quickly, or for negotiating and clarifying contracts when it is
impossible to meet in person; for meeting with three or more participants via conference call as a less
expensive alternative to a facetoface meeting

Voicemail message For leaving a brief, uncomplicated message- a question, answer, request, or confirmation- to which
the receiver can respond when it isconvenient

Text message For brief messages containing important or routine information; only when your organization
authorizes the use of instant messaging

Facetoface meeting For establishing initial contact and rapport with clients, customers, and associates; for negotiating,
brainstorming, problem-solving, or any other group communication where consensus is required

Facetoface conversation For delivering a personal message or negative news, or for communicating persuasively

Video conferencing For meeting when travel is impractical; like a face-to-face meeting, it allows participants to both see
and hear each other

The medium or channel you choose has the power to influence how your message is
interpreted. Each channel has its own specific advantages and drawbacks.

Content Generation
Good content con.tributes to effective communication. Collecting all the information you
need hefo re you start to wri.t.e, whether hy researching data or sim ply generating ideas,
L~ essential. Keep in mind that the facts you gather should warrant your efforL~ and your
readers' atten tion. Formal research methods, required for formal repo rts and presenta-
tions, are detailed in Chapter 11. Many types of husiness messages (e.g., routine memos
and e-mails) require only informal idea-generation strategies, such as the followi ng:

1. Brainstorming. Brainstorming is a free-association exe rcL~e that helps to stim ulate brainstorming amethod of
crea1.ive thin.king, unlock ideas, and reveal hidden connections. If you have reached generallng content by listing Ideas
asthey come to mind.
a point of stalemate in planning your document, brainstom1ing can put a fresh per-
spective on a stubborn topic. Start with a blank com puter screen or a fresh sheet of
paper and write down your topk keyword. Set aside ten uninterrupted minutes and,
while suspendingjudgment about how good o r had your ideas are and without stop-
pi ng, jot down any thoughts that come to mind. When I.he ten minutes have elapsed ,
sort through and analyze what you have recorded, saving only your best ideas and
 COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS
mapping or clusterlng a
method of generating content by
vlsuallzlng the main topic and Its
subca1cgorlcs.
discarding the rest. lf a single attempt doesn't yield enough idea~. repeat the process.
Next, group the it.ems that a re relat.ed or arrange them in logical order according to
the purpose of your document and the needs of your reader. This process will yield
a prellminary outline. A further brainstorming session can help you fill in any omis
sions and correct any weaknesses. For example, brai11storrning t.he topic of prohlems
with office e-mail communication might yield a list like this one:
- overstuffed in boxes
- shouting
- flaming (angry messages)
- rampant cc-ing of bosses and colleagues
- poorly written messages
- overly telegraphic style
- grammar mistakes
- spam
- lack of e-mail protocol
- inappropriate and/or offensive messages
- unnecessary/irrelevant messages
- rambling messages
- misleading/inaccurate subject lines
- incorrectly addressed messages
- lack of formatting
- incomplete information
Grouped items:
- poorly written messages
- mistakes in grammar, spelling, and punctuation
- rambling, poorly formatted messages
- incorrect address
- overly telegraphic style
- misleading/inaccurate subject lines
- overstuffed in boxes
- rampant cc-ing of bosses and colleagues
-spam
- unnecessary/irrelevant messages
- lack of e-mail protocol
- flaming (angry messages)
- shouting
- inappropriate and/or offensive messages
2. Mapping or clustering. Mapping. also known as clustedng. is a fom1 of hrninstorm
ing that involves a visualization of the main topic and its related clas.'1.fications and
suhtopks. A cluster diagram is useful for defining the relationship hetween idleas. St.art
with a fresh sheet of paper and put a keyword t.hat best characterizes your topic in a cir-
cle at the crntre of the page. Draw lines, like spokes radiating from the huh of a wheel,
to connect your topic word with related ideas t.hat come to mind. Circle each new idea
you generate and allow each suhtopic to stimulate additional suhtopics. Continue the
process, without stopping to critique yourself, until you have exhausted the many pos-
sibilities of the topic. The resulting map will show cli1sters and subcli1sters of ideas
grouped around the central concept. Figure 2.1 provides an example of mapping.
 2 I GETTI N G STARTED: PLA NNIN G AND WRITING BUS I NESS M ESSAGES

3. Asking questions. The five Ws--who, what, why, when, and where- not to mention journalistic questions tha
essantlal questions (who. what.
how, are productive journalistic questions to ask about your topic and its major
why, when, where, and hoW) that
ideas, especially if you int.end t.o write a dear and compelling document. Frame )ournall sts'lnqulrles as they
Prewriting exercises supply you with the raw material for t.he next st.age of the focus and prepam their stories.
composition process: outlining.
organizing and outlining the
process of arranging Information
ror clarity and Impact.
ORGANIZING AND OUTLINING
sequential development a
Once you have gathered your material, it needs to be structured in a coherent way so read- method of organization that
ers will u nderstand it. Based on your purpose and your readers' needs, select a met.hod desc~bes the arrangement of steps

o f development that orders your subject from beginning to end. There are four methods: In a process.

sequential development chronological development

a method of organtz.itton that
chronological development describes events In the order In
general-to-specific development which they occurred.
cause-and-effect development
generaf..to-speclnc
Not all business documents require outlines, hut those of any length, importance, or development a method of
organization that begins with
complexity do. An outline is a skeleton or Framework of the document you are going to general Information on a topic
write. Preparing an outline helps to ensure your docume111.t ls complete and also helps you followed by spcclHc details.

cause-and-effect development
a method of organization that links
events with the reasonsfor them.
outline a framQWOrk ror a
document, showing Its divisions
and elements.
,... - ....... ,
/ Job '
\ description )
'
--

I
,,. ... -- '
Non-compet: J
clause
' ......... ___ _.,,,.,

FIGURE 2 .1

Mapping Example: Defining Terms of Part-Time Contracts

 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
drafting the preliminary writing of
adocumQnt.
detect errors ln logic and coherence. It plots out your document from beginning to end
and gives you t.he opportunity to experiment with the arrangement of ideas before you
commit 1.hem to the written page. Once you begin to write, 1.he work of deciding how to
organize yom document will have already been done, leaving you to concentrate on tone,
word choice, sentence structure, :and accuracy. A short, basic topic out.Line, such as the one
below, includes concise phrases that describe the hreakdown o r your topics presentation,
ananged in tbe order of your primary method o r development.
I. Primary Research
II. Secondary Research
Ill. Research Strategies
Usually an outline breaks I.he topic down into three to five major categori es that can
then he divided into smaller segments that rep resent minor points and supporting evidence.
I. Primary Research
A. Direct observations
B. Interviews
c. Surveys and questionnaires
II. Secondary Research
A. Books, articles, and reports
B. Web documents
c. E-mail discussions ) Classification
Ill. Research Strategies
A. Conducting library and on line searches
B. Evaluating resources
c. Taking notes ) Sequential
For more complex documents, use alphanumeric and decimal outline templates,
which can be found in most word-processing software. You can find examples of these
outlining systems in Chapter 10. In Chapters 5 to 8, which cover the most frequen1.ly
written types of messages, you will be introduced to basic writing patterns for receptive
and unreceptive audiences-sometimes known as good-news and bad-news patterns for
busi ness correspondence.
DRAFTING
When you write for business, you cannot always wait for inspiration. In fact, drafting a
message L~ a task hest viewed as a necessary means to an end, like any other business func-
tion. Rely on good preparation to get the job done and begin by expanding your outline
without wo rrying too much about creating a perfect copy on your first try. Remember,
you can usually refine your language and make corrections later. With practice, writing
and revision can become simultaneous activities. Write continuously, not stopping once
you have gained some moment.um. You may want 1.0 begin with the part of the message
or document that seems easiest to write. If you are writing a sizable document, such as
a report, you may want to write yoiir introduction last so it will more accurately reflect
the overall cont.ent. ln longer documents, an introduction will serve as a lens to focus the
detai led inform ation that follows. In shorter routine messages, the opening may either
reveal the primary purpose for writing or prepare the reader for the details to come.
 2 I GETTI N G STARTED: PLA NNIN G AND WRITING BUS I NESS M ESSAGES

Overcoming Writer's Block

Eventually, even the hest and most confident writer will experience a bout of writer's writer's block a psychological
hlock- the temporary inahility to formulate and express one's thoughts fully clue to a lack stato of bolng unable to bog In
or conttnua the process of
of inspiration. The good thing about. wri ter's hlock, if anything, is I.hat it usuall.y doesn't
composition out of fear or anxiety
last; it is just a short-term halt in the writing process. The had thing ahout writer's block is overthe communication task.
that it can strike at any time, when you least expect it, and- worst of all- when you are
up against a deadline. Feeling rushed can int.ensify feelings of communication anxiety and
tum procrastination into paralysis. The end results can be missed deadlines, a hreakclown
in the commimkation process, and decreased productivity. Though potentially serious,
writer's block is entirely curable. With proper intervention, it doesn't have to become
ch ronic. Experimenting with a few simple strategies may he all you need to do to banish
writer's h lock:

1. St.art early. Give yourself enough time to think through a writing task and complete
it according to your goals. Remember that good writing is easier to produce when
you are relaxed. Stress is heneficial only when it gives you that extra push to get the
job done.
2. Work on a computer. Drafting Ls considerahly easier when you have the ability to
add, delete, and move passages of text. From a rough draft produced on a computer,
you will have a fairly good idea what your finished document will look like.
3. Talk it out.. Many people are more experienced talkers than writers and may be able
to articulate their thoughts more fluently in spoken as opposed to writ.ten language.
Verbalizing your ideas or dictating them into a voice recorder can help you get your
thoughts down in some form. Ask yourself, What am I trying to say here? and answer
the question as directly as possible. Ease up on self-criticism for the time being- there
will be time to polish and perfect your draft later. Wlhat you want to do at this stage is
capture the essence of what you mean. If you won-y that you might earn a reputation
for talking to yourself, especially if you work in a crowded office, you can internalize
your verhalizations and make this strategy work for you in silence. Just write down
your thoughts once they are fully formed.
4. Skip around. The advantage of working with word-processing software L~ that sec
tions of a document can he prepared in any orde r and then cut and pasted accord
ing to an outline. Don't feel you have to start at the heginning and work your way
through to t.he end of the document. Capitalize on your inspiration hy starting with
the sect.ion you feel most comfortable ahout. Leave the section you are unsure ahout
until you've had a chance to build your confidence.
5. Take a break. Obviously, if you are at work, you won't want to fritter away company
time, hut switching to another activi.ty- filing, tidying up your desk, answering a tele-
phoT.le call, listening to voice mail-can give you I.he ohjectivity you need to return to
the writing task refreshed.
6. Practice freewriting. Freewriting is an exe rcise in dedicated , non-stop writing. freewrltlng a method of
Basically, it involves forcing yourself to write on a particular suhject for a period 0 ten gcnoratlng contont based on
unstructured Witting and tho
uninten-upted minutes so that idea.scan he unlocked and translated to the page. Not racordlng of Ideas as they come
everything you write will he useful, hut you may want to keep some parts of the draft. to mind.
Repeat the process until you have accumulated enough material on which to hase
your document.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
rev1slng or rev1slon the process
of rcvlowtng and making changes
In adraf1document-adding,
deleting, reorganizing, or
substituting-to rransform It Into
a Hnlshed document.
editing the process of checking
a writing draft to ensure It
conformsto standards of good
English, styte, and ac~pted
buslncsswrltlng practice.
7. Adopt a positive attitude to writing. Practise writing rebrularly and ask colleagues
and hosses for feedhack. Thrnugh interaction you can learn about the corporate cul-
ture in which you are writing and det.ermine exactly what readers expect and what
certain situations demand. Th ink of writing as a means toward achieving your profes-
sional goals and he positive ii.n thinking that those goals are achievable.
Writing under Pressure
Business documents are us1.1ally produced quickly in response to demands and deadlines.
It can he difficult to keep up with the volume of daily messaging let alone generate fomial
reports and documents on which the bottom line depends. Producing error-free, res1.1lts-
oriented documents in time-sensitive situations requires a cool head and a little prepara-
tion. The following process can help busy comm unicators cope under pressure:
1. Allocate your time. Consider how much time and energy you need to invest in wTit
ing your message relative to its purpose and importance. Spending an hou1: drafting
a brief e-mail may not make sense if you have fifty more messages to write that day.
Develop a mental timetable for accomplishing your writing tasks.
2. Keep distractions to a minimum. Tune out office banter and organize your writing
area by setti ng out all the tools and resources you will need.
3. Get the most from word-processing software. Use the outline feature to hrainstom1
and organize an 01.1tline, then cut and paste to organize alternative ways of pTesenting
information.
4. Take a few seconds to plan the structure. Every document has a begin ning, a mid-
dle, and an end. Quickly select a method of development to keep your information
under control (seep. 58).
5. Remember your reader. Visualize your reader. Explain difficult concepts hy relating
diem t.o what is familiar and already known to your reader.
6. Go \vi.th the flow. St.art with the section of your document that is easiest l.o write and
resLst the temptation to take a break once you have momentum. Plan to reward your-
self in some way- with a break or a cup of coffee- once you have finished your task.
7. leave refinements for revision. Your copy doesn't have to he perfect until it is time
to send it.
REVISING AND EDITING
Revising a document involves adding, deleting, reorganizing, and replacing the words, sen
tences, or paragraphs of a final draft. Editing is the fine-tuning of the revised draft -a final
correction of spelling, grammar, punctuation, and consLstency problems. Together, revising
and editing represent the now-or-never phase of document production- the point at which
fi nal changes and refinements can make or break a piece of writing. Even a document that
looks fine al first glance can usually do with a few last-minute adjustments, som e gentle
tweaking, or even some major rethinking. At this stage, you become yo1.1r own impartial
critic, deciding if your document measures up to the goals you set out for it, correcting
potential weaknesses, and spotting improvements that have to he made. Always keep your
prewriting goals in mind so you won't he tempted either to ignore the revision process alto
gether or, al the other extreme, to he too hard on yourself and feel you must start again from
scratch. Yom goal should he to make the document better, continuing until it is satisfactory
 2 I GETTI N G STARTED: PLA NNIN G AND WRITING BUS I NESS M ESSAGES

Before you start the revision process, take a hreak to ensure that you can look ohject-
ively at the document you have written. Clear your head by doing something different for
a few minutes or a few hours (what.ever the time frame fo:r your document and its deadline
allow for). A cooling period is essential to the revision of any import.ant document- with-
out it you will be too close to the draft to evaluate it effectively. For brief, routine letters or
e-mails, you can usually carry out a quick hut careful pmofreading on the spot or revise
onscreen as you go, checking for the effectiveness of organization, approp riateness of style
and tone, and the acl1.1Tacy of both language and content.
For all o ther documents, especially for important external or upwardly directed
communication, the revision process needs to he taken very seriously. Follow a few
basic strategies:
1. Work from a paper copy of your draft. Print out your document rather than first
making changes onscreen. You will want t.o have a re.cord of what you originally wrote
in case you decide that the first version was preferable. Mark up the copy (which is
best double-spaced t.o make room for comments) using stand ard proofreaders' sym
bols (see Fibrure 2.2). Alternatively, use the Simple Markup or Track Changes func-
tions in Word to mark-up, delete and add text.
2. Reduce your reading speed. It is unlikely you will find any errors if you speed-read.
Take your time.
3. look at your document from the reader's perspective. Because a shift in perspec-
tive is essential to good revL~ion, put pride aside and pretend you didn't author your
document, remembering that it is always easier tn find errors in someone el~es copy.
Give yourself credit when you find an error. lt means you are doing your job well and
perfom1ing a valuable servi.c e for your reader.
4. Make several passes over the draft. No mat.ter how careful and scrupulous a
reader you are, you won't he ah le to spot every error or analyze every need for global
revision on a single reading. Simplify the editing task by reading for one specific set of

Mark in Margin Instruction Mark in Margin Instruction

/\
Insert
8 Set in roman type

t Delete
Correct spelli ng/Spell out

~
,-..
let stand
err Start paragraph

Close space ruvi-i11 No paragraph

'---'

P> Capitalize 0 lnse rt period

~ Make lowercase /)' Inse rt comma

~ Italicize \I/ 'i!! Insert quotation marks

FIGURE :2.2

Proofreaders' Symbols
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

problems at a time. Use the content-organization-style (cos) method to polish your

document in three st.ages:
a) Substantive content editing. This step involves editing for content. Consider
whether your document is complete and clearly expresses its main points. lf its
pu rpose is persuasive, your concern is whether you are using enough of the right
types of evidence to convince your reader and whet.her the appeal you u se-one
based on logic, emotion, credibility, or a combination oft.he three- will have the
right effect on your reader.
h) Organization-structure editing. At this stage, organization and your document's
main message are your focus. Check that the main message is clear and has a
logical relationship to o ther parts oft.he dm.i.mient. Consider H your doc.i.1ment is
structured in a consisten t and strategic way for readability and follows the struc-
ture you establish at t.he beginning.
c) line editing and proofreading. At this st.age, sentence style and format are your
focus. Check that the I.one of your d0Li.1ment is formal/informal enough to suit
the situation and review each sentence for correct grammar, punctuation, and a
smooth and coherent style.

5. Read your draft aloud. Errors and instances of awkwardness are detected more easily
when you hear them rathe r than read them silently. Making a recording and playing it
hack is sometimes a useful method for clearing up problems wi th sentence structure,
tone, and foggi ness in documents that have to he perfect.
6. Use spell- and grammar checkers, hut respect their limitations. Diabrnostic soft-
ware has great capabilities, hut it may not flag every error. Sometimes, it may isolate a
proper noun and suggest an incorrect spelling for it or fail to detect a misspelled tech-
n.ical te rm, so look carefully at each highlighted word and he prepared to use your
own judgment. Unless your organization tells you to do other.vise, ensure that your
spell-check program is set for Canadian English. If you opt for US English, be sure to
use its distinctive spellings consistently. There is no substitute, however, for reading
the document yoursel f, even if you have to do it two or three times.

A critical read -through requires that you pay close attent.ion to t.he foll owing factors,
many of which are discussed in C hapters :> and 4 and can he grouped into three steps:

Step One:
Compl eteness. Ensure that your document achieves its purpose and meets readers'
needs. Adequate information should he provided without causing information over-
load. Check that essential material enables readers to take action, make a decision, or
know what do to when they are finished reading the document.

Step Two:
Structure and coherence. The elements that make up your document. sl1ould be
organized logically according to the rhetorical purpose you \vish to achieve. Related
ideas should he linked thrOL1gh logic and appropriate transi tional devices.

Step Three:
Accuracy. You must he able to veri fy the accuracy of the information you present.
look for inacmracies and ensure you r information is free of distortion. Compare
names and numbers \vith their sources.
 2 I G ETTI N G STAR T ED: P LANNIN G AND WR ITI N G B US I NE SS M ES SA G E S

Conciseness. Prune deadwood phrases and red undancies and tighten your style to
create a lean, reader-friend ly doL1.1ment.
Sentence and paragraph cons truction. l ook for awkwardness in sentence con-
struction. Give impact and directness to your writi11g hy using the active voice and
replacing weak verbs and noun phrases with precise, force ful verhs.
Consistency and format. The use of language, style of visual~. and overall design
should he consistent. Check for lopsided formatting hy making si.ue your document
is balanced on the page. look for possible problems with lettered items, head ings,
bulleted and numbered lists, capitalization, underlining, bold prin t, and italics.
Readability, word choice, and ethics. Decide if tl1e documents level of difficulty
is appropriate ror the readers. Replace vague or pretentious words wi th specific and
fam Ll iar ones. Keep biased lanb'Uage oi.1t of your document and ask yoursel f whether
you would mind if someone other than the intended receive r read your document.
Grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Check fOT possible grammar errors-for
example, unbalanced sentences and verbs that migh t not agree with their subjects-
that can undermine the pro fessionalism and readability of your document. Scan for
spelling mistakes and punctuation errors that can make your document look sloppy.
Typugraphical errors. Check for any inadvertent errors (e.g. transposed letters and
misplaced punctuation) that may have crept in to your d rart.

Revision becomes easier with practice. Make the most of the constructive feedback
you receive from instruct.ors and always use it to help you evaluate I.he success of your
commun ication relative to your goals. Review the ad vice and comments you receive and
assess the types of faults and errors most common to your writing. From this assessment,
devise a customized checkHst you can refer l.o when revis ing and proofread ing your docu
ments. The end of Chapter 4 offers additional tips on proofreading.

D Identify the purpose of the message.

D Determine the scope of the message.
D Profi le the audience to determine its needs.
D Select the most appropriate channel.
D Plan and generate content.
D Produce an outline and draft.
D Revise and edit for accuracy, completeness, and coherence.

Collaborative Writing
Most successful businesses rely on teamwork to hri ng their projects and initiatives to
fruition. Teamwork, though, is possihle only when a spi rit of co-operation exists in the
workplace and when ind ividuals are willing to share responsibilities and decision-making.
EmployeTs screen applicants partly on the basis of their ability to work as a team. This
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
collaborative writing the process
of writers working together to
m~atc finlshoo roports, proposals,
and other Important documents.
>> Perhaps the best-known
example of collaborative
writing Is Wlklpedla. Founded
In 2001, this site currently
has over 77,000 volunteer
contributors who write and
edit over 22 mllllon articles
(http://en.wlldpedla.org/wlkl/
Wlklpedla:About).
Sourca! 0 NetPhotos/Alamy
import.ant skill has increasing applicat.ion to collaborative writing projects, whose size or
time constraints may demand that two o r more writers work together to produce a single
document. A project may involve multiple areas of eiqiertise that no si ngle person is able
to su pply on his or her own. Responsibility fo r the success of the project doesn 't rest on
a solitary writer hut on I.he ability of the group t.o communicate, build loyalty, reach con-
sensus, and both accept and give criticism objectively. ln No rth America, close 1.0 90 per
cent of business professionals engage in collaborative writing. 1' A lack of competency ln
this area can therefore be costly. In fact, 83 per cent of knowledge workers report losing or
wasting time on document collaboration lssues.16
Political, social, and logistical challenges can interfere with the process of
co llahorative writing:
Collaboratively wri tten domments generally take longer to write and edit/revise and
involve a more complex process than individual documents do, partly because a high
level of coordination is requi red.
Participants may have different WTiting styles, leading to inconsistencies and the need
for ham1onization in the final edit, which may continue through multiple iterations-
especially if participants are not properly briefed by senior staff on what they want
and procedures for resolving disputes are not agreed upon. 11
lack of sensitivity and/or di plomacy, poor personal communication , and personal
conflicts arising from differences in power and status can interfere with receptivity to
each others id eas and lead to control issues and an unequal ability to add, edit, and
remove text.
Und erstanding the pitfalls and challenges of collaborative wri.t.ing before you start can
help you avoid them and make the process a rewarding one where mutual support and
respect, motivation, clear goals, and timely and valuable feedback allow participants to
learn from each other and produce a well -received, high-quality document. 18 Engagement,
involvement, and the feeling that each writer can contribute and make a difference are key
to a successful collaboration.
 2 I GETTI N G STARTED: PLA NNIN G AND WRITING BUSINESS MESSAGES

That said, not all collahorative writing occurs

in the sam e way. In fact, researchers on collahora
tive writing in the workplace note various strat
egies for approaching the t.ask:
For more tips and resources on
collaborative writing, see the
Sequential integrating writing (lead writ
Dalhousie University Writing Centre
ing) : A lead author produces an initial draft
Resource Guide (http://dal.ca.libguides
and the other participants propose and discuss .com/content.php7pid= 174958&
modifications to it. 10 sid=1754279).
Sequential single-writing (take-a-turn-and-
passit-on): Each writ.er is assigned and writes
a port.ion of the document and then passes
the document on , with style harmonization
required at the end of the process.20
Parallel simultaneous writing (cut-and-paste oT puzzle): Each memher takes
responsihility for prepming different parts or sections of the completed doc:urnent or is
assigned a particular role (author, editor, leader). Par.ts are then juxtaposed and styles
hamnonized to create the completed document.21
Reactive integrating writing (side-by-side): The tt.eam collaborates synchronously,
negotiating content, reacting to proposed modifications, and making adjustments at the
same time.

Consultation hetween team members may or may not take place during planning, draft
preparation, or final editing and revL~ion.
Here are some key poi nts t.o keep in mind when working and writing collahoratively:

Prac tise active listening. Take other viewpoints seriously and consider them impar-
tially and open-mindedly. Be attentive to the nuances and inferences of discussions.
Make sure you und erstand what you've heard before responding to it.
Designate a team coordinator. This person may not have authority over the entire
project hut can coordinate plann ing and activ-
ities. He or she keeps track of progress on the
document and consolidates draft segme nts
into a mast.er copy.
Do lllp-front planning. Meet to discuss the doC1.1-
ment hefore anyone hegins t.o wiite. Brainstorm A tutorial on Google Drive and Docs is
ideas for the project, conceptualize the docu- available from The Goodwill Community
ment, evaluate il~ content, and create an outline, Foundation's website: http://goo.gi/
documenting the planning proces.~ as you go. cFSKO.

Create a schedule that accommodates all group

memhers' work commitments and that notes
due dates for drafts, revisions, and final versions.
Agree 011 writing style standards. Est.ahlish
the style points and fom1ats writers are expected to follow. This step will help to dimin-
ish differences in ind ividual wiiting styles.
Use technology to overcome constraints of physical location. An initial face-to-face
meeting can help group memhers get t.o know each other and build group loyalty. After
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

that, planning and virtual meeting software can help members collaborate over dis-
tances. Members can e-mail documents to each other and use Google Docs or instant
messaging software to share files and carry on live text chats or use a virtual white-
board (a helper application tlhat allows a document to be shared by two or more users)
to write as if they were in the same room.
Determine who is responsible for each segment or the document. Equalize work-
loads as much as pos.<;ihle. Allow others to work according to their strengths or where
they will learn the most. Each i,>roup member is responsible for researching and writing
a segmen t but should not hesitate to ask for help when it is needed.
Foster a s pirit or co-operation. Everyone should feel that he or she is makh1g a con
tribution and can be heard. To do this, you may have to be flexible enough to com-
promise on your attachment to particular words and phrases and go with the flow
of the project. Even when you check your ego at the door, expect a certain level of
disharmony. However, c reative differences can be a good thing; under the right condi-
tions, divergent viewpoints gradually meld into productive consensus.
Harmonize writing styles. Exchange and review writing segments while remaining
diplomatic in your criticism of others. Leave it to the i,>roups best writer or editor
to do a final check for consist.ency and integration of wri ting styles. The final copy
should read in one voice arnd have a continuous style, not look as though sections
have simply been pasted together. Ask seve ral people to check the document to make
sure all the pans are properly integrated and error-free.

Critiquing Others' Work

Critiquing is a pathway to improved writing and speaking. When you evaluate the written
or spoken words of others, the usefulness of your feedback depends on how you go about
your review and on understandi11g what you need or want from the critique and what L~
expected of you. 22 Critiq ues can have different purposes, for instance, to reinforce learn-
ing or organizational standards or to motivate the
i,>roup or an individual.
A few general principles help lay the founda-
tion for giving and receiving feedback productively:

Build a psychologically safe environment

Dr. Terry Barrett proposes useful critiquing
guidelines in his article "Tentative Tips for
Better Crits": http://goo.gi/3SuoWB
where people can write o r speak honestly
Be an attentive and responsive listener.
Stick to any guidelines that have heen set.
Know when to he cand id (open comnrnnica-
tion) and when it is appropriate to give feed-
hack in private or defer negative comments to
spare the writer or speaker em barrass ment.
Avoid criticism that could s uppress further
responses. 23
 2 I GETTING STARTED: PLANNING AND WRITING BUS I NESS MESSAGES

Cl Consider contextual factors, genre differences, your discourse community, and the
rhetorical situation when you are writing.
Cl Approach the writing task as an achievable process consisting of four overlapping
and repeatable stages: prewriting, organizing and outlining, drafting, and revising
and editing.
Cl Plan for a message that will be purpose-driven, audience-focused, and concise.
Cl Make pre-writing part of your writing routine by first identifying the purpose, the scope
of your message, the audience and its needs, the most logical and time-appropriate
channel, and the required content.
Cl Organize content strategically and coherently by creating an outline showing topics
according to order and level of importance.
Cl Draft the message by using techniques to reduce writer's block.
Cl Revise and edit your message using the content, organization, and style (COS) method.
Cl Ensure your message is reader-ready by checking for completeness, structure,
coherence, accuracy, conciseness, sentence and paragraph construction, consistency,
readability, and correctness.
Cl Recognize the benefits and challenges of collaborative writing and prepare for them by
understanding the different types of collaboration and applying strategies for effective
group practice.
Cl When critiquing writing by peers, identify the purpose of the critique, be sensitive in
your communication, and follow any pre-set guidelines.

[ WORKSHOPS AND DISCUSSION f'ORUMS

1. Selecting the Most Effective Communication Channel.
Decide which communication channd would he most
effective in each of the following si tuations. Be pre-
pared to defend your choice in each case and discuss
why the options you rejected would be ineffective.
a) Your manager has j ust rewarded you for a joh well
done with two tickets to tonight's hasehall game.
The first pitch is in three hours and you would
Like to invite a colleab'lle in another department
to go with you. How do you contact him?
i. Send a fax to his department and hope he will
read it in time.
ii. Telephone him and leave a hrief message in
his voice-maiJ hox.
iii. Write a detailed e-mail message although
you know he checks his e-mail only twice a
day, once when he arrives at work and again
after limch .
iv. Send a text message because you know he is
never without his IllackBerry.
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

b) As a d epartme ntal manage r, you have j ust
received a d irective from the company CEO advis-
ing you of a new and ve ry detailed sexual harass
ment policy that wilJ go into e ffect shortly Which
method do you use to explain tb e policy's terms
to your departmen t?
i. Call a fi fteen-min ute meeting and tell all staff
members that they are responsible fo r record-
ing details of the policy
ii. write a <let.ailed department.al memo claii fy-
ing every aspect o f the policy and o ffering to
add ress potential questions and concerns.
iii. Post an annou ncemen t of the new po licy
0111 the deparm1en tal message board and tell
d epartme nt membe rs to read it when they
h:ave a chance.
iv. Tal k the new policy over when you meet
d epartment members in the coffee room .
c) Although you hold a junior posi tion in yo u r com-
pany, you have a few suggestions t.o improve tbe
efficiency of operations and would like to run your
ideas by the COO. How do you approach her?
i. Prepare an in formal recommendation report
in wh ich you out.line your ideas h ased on
evidence you have gathered from company
d ocumen ts.
ii. Tap her on the should er in th e ha llway as
she's rushing to a meeti ng and ask if you can
bend her ear.
iii. Book an appoi ntme nt \vi th he r to discuss
your ideas in a face-to-face meeting.
2. Revising. Working togethe r as a group, read the text
o f the foll owing extract from a press release and con
sid er how it can be im p roved th rough ed iting and
revising. Keep in min d the facto rs fo r s uccessful
revision summarized on pages 61- 3.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

For More Information Call

Susan Sullivan

WINNIPEG, MANITOBA, MAY 10, 2013 ... Gordon Wong has joined Superior
Plastics as vice president- marketing. Superior Plastics, headquartered In
Wini peg, produces polymer tubing and coils. Since 1991 Superior also been pro-
ducing tubing for U.S. distribution through the firm of Reliable Plastics, Chlcagoe.
Wong will coordinate overseas distribution through, the company's Jakarta office.
Wong will travel extensively In the Far East while developing marketing channels.
For Superior.

Formerly, Wong was director of services at Big Name Marketing Associates, a

consulting group In Montreal. While at Big Name, he develop a computer-based
marketing centre that link textile firms In Hong Kong, Poland and Portugal. He
graduate from the Rotman School of Business. Wong was chosen out of a pool
of 350 applicants that Included well-known marketing executives such as Peter
Farnsworth and Livy Cohen.

3. Writing Collaboratively. Assemble a group o f up to
eight classmates and appoint a team leader. Assume
that you have been a~ked to desi&rn three new college
or unive1sity courses for programs in which you are
now sntdying. Meet to brainstorm ideas, establish style
preferences, and assi&rn responsibilities (e.g., re'Searching
current courses, identifyi ng potential needs, establishing
course outcomes and outlines, wiitjng course desL1ip-
tions, revising and polishing draft material). Once each
member has completed his or her portion of t.he draft,
 2 I GETTI N G STARTED: PLA N N IN G A N D WRITING BUS I NESS M ESS A GES
meet again to discuss problems and harmon ize writing
styles. When you are sati..<;fied wit.h t.he final version,
submit it 1.0 your instructor for feedback. Each team
member should then write a hrief one-paragraph assess.-
men t of the collaborative Wtiting process. What were its
benefits and advantages? What were it<; <lrnwhacks?
4. PHr Editing. Drawing on you r worst hotel or res -
taur:ant experience, write a social media message
RITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES
1. Analyzing Your Genre Knowledge. Compile a list of
genres you use on the job or at school. Which ones
are most familiar to you? Which ones are you learn-
ing about? How do they differ?
2. Belonging to Discourse Communities. Compile a list
of the discourse communities to which you belong.
What goals, genn:s, interactions, and terminology do
the groups share?
3. Discussing Topics in Discourse Communities. Differen.t
di..<;course commurtities have various ways of discuss
ing the same r.opic. Consider how each of the follow-
ing groups would dL<;cuss the topic o r air pollution:
a) environment.al watchdogs
b) provincial Ministry o r Health or rederal Ministry
o r the Environment
c) oil industry executives
d) parents and parent groups
4. Identifying the Purpose. For each of the following
examples, identify the primary purpose- to inform,
pers1.tade, or convey goodwill.
a) a newspaper edir.orial
b) a corporate year-end report
c) a request t.o a chari table organization for a grant/
donation
d) a set o r operating instructions for the depart-
ment.al photocopier
e) a congratular.ory e-mail
f) a sales letter ror a low-interest-rate credit card
S. Assessing the Receiver. Assume that you must
write to each of the following individuals to ask for
a favour:
a) your ban]< manager
b) your course instructor
c) a friend, sibling, or other close family member
similar to t.he kind found on sites such as TripAdvisor.
Exchange messages with another student (either
through a dfrect exchange or through a platfom1 such
as Blackboard). Following the COS method for edi-
ting and guidelines for peer critiques, provide feed-
back to your classmate. Review the reedback you
receive and apply t.he aspects that \vill most help you
improve your message .
d) a former employer
e) a company vice-president
Consider the receivers needs in each case and create
a reader profile based on your assessment. Indicate
what your approach might he in each case.
6. Analyzing Messages. For each o r the following writ-
ing situations, devise an audience analysis.
a) an unsolicited sales lett.er promoting life insur-
ance to university alumni
b) a letter o r application ror a job posted on an
employmen t website (your qualifications are a
close match for 1.he position)
c) a letter From the municipal waste department
explaining the introduction of a ma11dato ry com
posting program
d) a letter to a fellow elect1ical enginee r outlining the
tech nical specifications for a new cfacuitry panel
e) an e-mail to your departmental manager sug-
gesting the introduction of an internship program
f) a letter to members of a municipal board ask-
ing that the height restrictions on a multi-storey
condominium project your company is curren tly
developing be lifted
g) a letter to a supplier in Hong Kong requesti ng tex
tile samples to he used in your new clothing line
7. Choosing Functional and Appropriate Communication
Channels. Analyze each of t.he fo ll owing situation.<;
and select the most and least appropriate communi-
cation channels: face-to-face con versation, telephone
call, voice-mail message, e-mail message, hard -copy
memo, text message, or formal letter.
a) cancelli ng a hi1siness lunch appoin tmen t at the
last minute
b) con~firming attendance at an upcoming meeting
 COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS
c) lnforming a clalmant of the advantageous terms
of a settlement
d) notifying a long-time, soon-to -he terminated
employee of the company's decision to downsize
a) convincing a potential customer to purchase a
line of software your company manufactures
f) presenting findings and recommendations related
to your organization's need for a new health
lnsurance provider
g) notifying five department members of a training
seminar scheduled for two weeks from now
8. Freawriting. Select one of the fo llowing tasks and
write about it for ten minutes, \vitbout stopping.
a) Explain the registration procedure at your college.
b) Describe the technical requirements for your
current job.
c) Describe the communication skills required in
your currt-ii t Joh or in your program of study.
,.
L.. ONLINE ACTIVITIES
1. Business and Professional Writing Quiz. This online
quiz, from the University College of the Carihoo,
tests your knowledge of business writing hy asking
you to answer a series of questions as if you were
a member of the business community. Enter your
numeric choice, then click to check your answer.
www.tru.ca/disciplines/hiz.html
2. Online Brainstorming and Drafting. Although this
Application Essays web page from the Writing Centre
When the time has elapsed, stop and analyze what
you have written. If the exercise bas not helped you
uncover at least three to five major ideas, repeat the
process and use the points you generate as the basis
for an outline. Has the process helped you uncover
new ideas?
9. Creating a Cluster Diagram. Assess a problem you
have encountered on campus or at your workplace-
inadequate or faulty equipment, inefficient or under-
staffed services, or inconvenient scheduling. Prepare
a cluster diagram to explore the problem and analyze
possible solutions. Use the diagram a.~ the basis for a
three- to five-point out.line.
10. Creating an Outline. Assume that a friend i.$ inter-
ested in your program of study and has asked you to
write a letter or e-mail describing its prerequisites,
annual cost, and course requirements. Create an out
line for your message.
at the Unjversity of Wisconsin-Madison is intended
for writers of expository essays, it offers useful prac-
tice in brainstormjng and composing online. Fill in
each field hut pret.end that your task is to compose an
e-mail message. At any point in the w1iting process,
you can e-ma~ your writing to yourself by filling out
and submitt.ing the form at the bottom oft.he page.
http://writing.wisc.edu/Handbnnk/apessay
_tutorial.ht.ml
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,____________ Business Style: Word
Choice, Conciseness,
and Tone

LEARNING OBJECTIVES

1. Use plain, precise, and famlllar language to
make your point, prevent misunderstanding,
and write with Impact.
2. Identify and eliminate problem words that do
not convey your meaning clearly and directly.
3. Choose accurate and appropriate words
to create constructive, Inclusive, reader-
oriented messages.
4. Identify strategies for writing concise
messages.
S. Develop a conversational and confident
tone and adjust It to suit a range of writing
purposes, professional situations, and
readerships.
6. Differentiate between personal and
Impersonal styles.
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
plain style or plain language a
styte or wrttlng that places value on
slmpllclty, dlrectnoss, and clartty.
A FEW DECADl!S AGO, legal contracts, from the most detailed business agreements to the
most routine mortgage form s, were written In a formal style full of twisted sentences and
difficult language (called legalese) that often made key concepts, obligations, and rights
Impossible to understand. In Canada, banking and Insurance Industries were at the forefront
of the transition from this type of writing to a plain language style.' In 1979, Royal Insurance
of Canada was producing the fi rst plain-language insurance policy and Scotlabank was
working with lawyer Robert Dick to redesign and rewrite Its loan forms. Through the man-
date of the Canadian Bankers Association (CBA), Scotlabank has maintained Its commitment
to plain language:"We know that plain language makes sense for our customers. And It also
makes sense for us-saving tim e by ellmlnatlng confusion and Improving communication
within our organizations and with our customers:2
Developing an effective busl ness writing style Is the key to reaching your readers and
to conveying your Intended message. Style comprises the ru les, conventions, and options
you need to consider whenever you write. These practices apply to the words you choose
and combine to form sentences: how correct they are, how well they support the substance
of your Information and Ideas, and how right they are for particular situations and audi-
ences. Effective business style also Involves thinking about how words "sound" and how
your readers are affected by the words you use. With practice, you can learn to vary your
style to suit a variety of situations.
Good style creates a good Impression, not just of you but of the company you repre-
sent. By paying attention to the language you use, you can eliminate the fru stration caused
by communication that Is hard to read, confusing, or uninformative and thereby build and
sustain business relationships. Sawy communicators know that a clear, cri sp, adaptable
style kept as tight, lean, and factual as possible can simplify everyday tasks and make Infor-
mation manageable. In the long term, good writing supported by an effective business
style Is a major contributor to career growth and a vital factor In building personal and cor-
porate credibility.
Word Choice
PLAIN STYLE
The need for clear, understand able, concrete language is not unique to the age of high-
speed comm unication. Centuries ago, when people first hegan to write for science and
husines..<; and ind ustry, demands were heard for the ki nd of sim plicity and economy that
is now the hallmark of plain style or plain language. Plain style makes i.t acceptahle for
you to write in the same everyday language that you use when you speak and helps you to
reach your read ers instead of putti ng your audience at a distance. One of the aims of plain
style is to hanish dead and empty words in favour of lively, expressive ones that readers
connect with immediately and remem ber easily. Because it saves time, puts readers fi rst,
and makes ideas and information meaningful, plai n language is good for business. For a
sense o r the impact plain language can have, note the difference in the following sentences:
I will be responsible for actioning and undertake a prioritization of my commitments
in terms of my daily scheduling.
I will arrange my daily schedule.
 3 I BUSINESS STY LE : WORD CHO ICE, CO NCIS ENES S, AND TON E D
The case for putting plain language into wide r
practice continues to gain momentum. Jn recent
decades, the international plain-language move-
ment- ded icated to presenting information so it f; ~~ ~
makes sense t.o most people and can he acted upon
after a single reading- has gained the endorsement
of governm ent agencies, husinesses, professions ,
and industries that value co mprehensibility over
management speak and the bureaucratic bluster
See how the plain-language style is
applied in the Canadian government
by visiting the websites for Public Works
and Government Services Canada
(http://goo.gl/120x03).
(!]~ ..

of legalese. Plain style, with its pared-down , keep-

it-simple approach, is characterized by a few com-
mon-sense principles:

Use common, everyday words , except

for necessary technical te rms. Language should he familiar and accessible, not
pretentious.
Use reasonable sentence lengths. Aim for twenty words o r fewer to avoid padding
or needlessly overloading sentences.
Use active-voice verbs and phrasal verbs. Active voice verhs show who or what voice a term that describes averb's
performs an action. Phrasal verbs are simple and informal, combining verbs and abl Illy to show whether the subject
of a sentence acts or Isacted upon.
prepositions to deliver their meaning (for example work out instead of devtse). (See
also Chapter 4, "Applying Active and Passive Voice," pp. 110- 12.) phrasal verb averb that
Use personal pronouns: I, you, and we. Personal pronouns, used in moderation combines wllt1 one or more
preposltlons to deliver Its meaning.
in al.l documents except fom1al reports, give you the Fluency to say what you need to
with. as little awkwardness as possible. pronouns words that replace or
Use unambiguous language. Ambiguity refers to an inexact exp ression that has refer to noun!i.
mult.iple meanings and is therefore open to interprel.ation (for example, does Ricardo ambiguity a term that describes
likes boring dassmatr.s mean that Ricardo likes to bore classmates or that he likes class- an obscure or Inexact meaning.
mates who are boring?). Good communicators do 1.heir best to prevent ambiguity
from creeping into 1.hei r writing.
Place the subject as close as possihle to the verh. The meaning of a sent.ence relies
on tlhe clear relationship of its subject and verb. Tangled sentences result when long
modifying phrases separate 1.hese all-important elements.

Some writers have a ha rd time cc A founder of the Center for

accepting plain style because they Plaln Language, Annette Cheek
led the effort to make the US
think it will make their writing
government adopt a plain
dull or simplistic, but such fears style. Her work was rewarded
are unfo unded . Communicating In October 2010 with the
in a plain style won't require you passing of tlile Plaln Writing
to oversimplify o r "dumb down" Act, which requires federal
agencies to 111se language
your cm-:ttent. In fact, an effective
that Is easy for the publlc
plain style gives dally communica- to understand.
tion energy, impact, and precision Sourco! AP Photo/Calvin Woodward
tha t sustains readers' interest and
enables tl1 em to grasp compli cated
ideas and activities easily.
COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

WORD CHOICE STEP 1:

USE FAMILIAR WORDS
A plain style relies on familiar, accessible language-
common , everyday words of one or two syllables.
Examples, resources, and training DiffiL11lt, overstated words tend to be longer, with
in plain language are available at th ree or more syllables. In long sentences they can
Plain Language Association
make even the most routine message dense and
International (PLAIN; www
unreadable. Writers usually resort to long, preten
.plainlanguagenetwork.org/).
tious, impo rtan t-soundi ng words for th e wrong
reasons-to appear experienced, to intimidate, to
impress, or to express authority. Pretenti01.1s words
can be tempting status symbols and smokescreens,
dressing up or hid ing your intended meai1ing, hut
in the end they usually alienate readers h1stead of
impres.<;ing them. Readers o ften skip over unfamiliar words or only panly grasp their mean-
ing. The consequences of not opting for plain and familiar lanh'Uage can he seen in the fol-
lowing "trnnslation" of a well-known saying:

Pretentious: It is preferable to effect the adoption and implementation of

precautionary measures than to embark on a regrettable course of action.

Plain: It's better to b e safe than sorry.

If you suspect your own writing L~ more pretentious than plain, u se a readability index
(such as Robert Gunning's fog formula) to measure its level of difficulty.
The following tips will help you avoid common word traps:

1. Curb your use of words ending in -ize and -izcttion. Verbs end ing in -ize and nouns
end ing in -izatfrm may sound rich and soph isticated, hut they can also lead to an
inflated, heavy-handed style that grinds comprehension to a frustrating ha lt. Some
words that fi t this category (such as priva/:iz1:, hospitalize, unionize., maximize, author-
ization, and spedalization) are common and irreplaceable enough to he used without
compromisi ng readability. However, many other words ending in -tion, -ment, -att:,
and -h111 can boggle the mind with their obscurity and obfuscation, so it is import.an t
to remember that bigger isn 't always better, especially when it comes to these so-called
Latinisms that owe their origins to the ancient language of the Roman Empire. The
chart below offers some simpler substitutes for bigger, more difficult words:

Plain English -izeVerb -ion Noun

make communal communalize communalization
use utilize utilization
make best use of optimize optimization
make real actualize actualization
develop a business corporatize corporatization
finish finalize finalization

2. Use words derived from F rench s paringly. Words that the English language has
borrowed from French can sound prestigious and distinctive wh en used s paringly,
adding formality t.o your writing. lf overused, though, they can sound con.tr.ived and
affected when compared with sim pler English alternatives.
 3 I BUSINESS STY LE : WORD CHO ICE, CO NCIS ENES S, AND TON E

Plain English French Derivative

talk, have a conversation converse
tell, inform apprise
begin, start commence

3. Avoid foreign words and phrases. Phrases such as ad hoc (for a particular pur-
pose) and pm bono (for free) are used in legal documenLs and formal writing, where
they are part of an estahlished idi om. Otherwise, use foreign expressions only when
ahsolutely necessary.

Plain English Foreign Wol'd/Phrase

reason for being raison d'etre
genuine bona fide
a day per diem
substitute, compensate q uid pro q uo

4. Use only job-related jargon. Jargon is the special vocahulary for a group, trade , jargon a term lhat describes
profession, or sphere of activity. Termi nology of this kind is essential ror conducting (1) the spcclallzcd terminology of
a technical ncld or (2) ou1daLcd,
business and describing soph Lsticat.ed concepts and activities accurately and concLsely. unnecessary words used In a
Certain types o f jargon once thought of as speciaHzed-such as computer jargon- are business cont ext
now the stuff o f common knowledge. Once-ordi na ry words such as import, export,
and cookie have taken on meanings unique to computing, which in turn have come
to he understood hy almost everyone. Similarly, many business-related terms, such as
fixed rate, intangible assets, scalable technology, ddtst, and buyback describe actions and
concepts that cannot he summed up easily in any oth er way.
Jargon is pemiissihle when it is purposeful and transparent. Because jargon is a pri-
vate lanbruage of the "inner circle," anyone who uses it must he sure that its special tenns,
abbreviations, and acronyms \vill he mutually understood. To ensure that one persons
jargon won't he another person's gohbledegook, size up your audience first and define
any special terms you may have used in documents intended for a broad readership.

5. Bypass buzzwords. Buzzwords are fashionahle, o ften technical-sounding pieces buzzwords fashionable, technical,
of jargon. Known as trendy attention-getters, buzzwords sound fresh, current, and or computer Jargon.
suit.ably corporate. Thei r trendiness is part o f their appeal, but it is also a large part
of their drawback because they tend to go out of style quite quickly, o rten through
overuse. Some better-known buzzwords include

synergy co-operative or combi ned

action
globalize make or become glohal
paradigm shift a fundamental change
in approach or philosophy
Nick Wright's "Complex and Abstract
Communications professionals are sp lit Words" provides advice on revising
on whether buzzwords are a feature of good complex and abstract words: http://
writi ng. Clunky co rporate "doublespeak" can goo.gl/6SOJzW
kill meaning and he a smokescreen, camou-
nagi11g fi nancial p roblems or poor perform-
ance- that is why readers distrust it. In fact,
"straight-talking companies" have been shown
 CO M M U N I C ATI N G FOR RESU LTS

to outperform "non-straigh t-talking companjes."3 Screening documents, especially

external ones, for huzzwords demonstrates reader awaren ess and concern for fair
dealing that helps build confidence in your organization.
A Anal thought ahout familiar words: use simple language for getting simple,
time-sensitive messages across. Keep in mind that you won't have to shelve your more
sophisticated vocabulary completely, just re-evaluate and save i.t for types of writing
that require great.er finesse or fom1ality. On the job, pay atten tion to and learn about
language preferences in co-workers' documents and consult your organization's style
guidellnes, if available, to help you make effective vocabulary choices.

WORD CHOICE STEP 2: USE FRESH AND CURRENT LANGUAGE

To stay competitive, today's businesses make an effon to explo re and implement progres-
sive approaches and technologies. lt makes sense, then, for them to do business by using
contemporary lanbruage that re flects and reinforces those aims and creates a corporate
image that is modem and up to date.

dlch~s overused, tlrc,d expressions
that have lost their ablllly to
communicate affoctlvcly.
1. Replace cliches. Cliches are descriptive ex11ressions that have heen drained of mean-
ing through overuse. Once vihrant and full of impact, they are now trite. UnJess a
cliche adds uniqueness or, by way of analogy. sums up something t.hat is otherwise
impossible to describe, replace it with fresh and direct language. Here are some of the
better-known business diches:

tighten our belts needless to say

on an annual basis make ends meet
true to form address the bottom line
all over the map explore every avenue
rest assured with all due respect
a big value protect the bottom line
a change for the better get your fiscal house in order
at this moment in time to be perfectly honest
without further delay a different ballgame
fit the bill push the envelope
outside the box going forward

2. Retire outdated business expressions. Many commonly used business ex1Pressions

have outlasted their usefulness. As holdovers from a centuries-old tradition of busi
ness protocol, stock phrases of business jargon have slowly lost their meaning for
modem readers, who see them more as artifacts than as communicat.ive tools. Unless
your organization recommen ds a very fom1al or traditional style, substitute stiff, out-
moded business expressions wi th modem phrases, especially if you want to project a
modern , contemporary image for your organization and yourself.

Old Style New Style

as per your request/
in accordance with your request
comments duly noted
enclosed herewith please fl nd
I wish to acknowledge receipt of
pursuant to
as you requested
I read your comments
enclosed is/are
thank you for; I have received
according to, as follow-up to
 3 I BUSINESS STY LE : WORD CHOICE, CO NCISENESS, AND TONE

pursuant to your request as you requested

receipt is acknowledged we received, we have received
t hanking you in advance thank you
under separate cover separately

3. Eliminate slang. Slang is t.he term for colourful, highly informal words or figures of slang coined words or existing
speech that have meaning specific Lo a particular era, locality, or occupation. Words words that are Informal and have
meanings sp<'!Clfic to particular
that Rt t.h L~ category may he new words or familiar words used in new and someti mes groups or localities.
humorous ways (for example pony up, which means "to hand over a sum of money").
Most slang has a short shelf life and may have meaning for only a small audience.

Slang Translation
greenback US dollar
schlepp carry, haul
suit a business executive
serious coin a large sum of money
blow off disregard, ignore
confab a conversation
slugfest an intense quarrel
SINK single, independent, no kids

Because slang is extravagant and street-smart in its appeal, it has the power Lo
shock readers who are unprepared for it, making it unsuitable for most professional
communication. An exception is slang that is specific to business and management,
including widely accepted terms such as telephone tag, team player, wal/1 (resign from
a joh), and spot (a radio or TV commercial). Slangier t.em1s such as tire llicker (a pro-
spective customer who demands a lot of attention hut doesn't buy anything) are fun
and unique hut may he Loo info rmal for general i1se.

4. Avoid instant messaging abbreviations and emoticons. The popularity of e-mail,

texling, and social media has hrought ahout a new lexicon special t.o high-speed
communicators. At the same time, the popularity of instant messaging (JM) and its
adoption hy husinesses as a productivity tool is having implications for husiness
style. Features of JM style-smiley-face icons, de li berately misspelled words, and
e-friend ly acronyms -make typing dialogue in real time quicker and easier; how- acronym a pronounceable word
ever, anyone unfamiliar with this cyber-shonhand may view it as an unwelcome fonned from rhe 1n1ua1 letters of
other words (e.g., NATO).
secret language.

Abbreviation Plain English

JTLYK just to let you know
b4 before
any1 anyone
uw you are welcome
BTW by the way
LOL laughing out loud

limit your use oflntemet ahhreviations and emoticons (punctual.ion used t.o create emotlcon a symbol conslsllng
sideways faces conveying emotions: :), :(. :-<, :-0, and so on) to the channel for which of a soqucnrn of keystrokes that
produce a sideways Image of a
they are intended- IM communication- and leave them out of office e-mail and for- face conveying any one of a range
mal correspondence. (Appendix A, under the heading "Ahhreviat.ions and Acronyms," of emotion'-
coveTs ahhreviations and acronyms suitable in professional communication.)
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

WORD CHOICE STEP 3: KEEP LANGUAGE SPECIFIC, PRECISE,

AND FUNCTIONAL
Novelist Mark Twain once wrote, "the difference between the right word and almost the
right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug." Words that a re almost
right tan talize but ultimately rrustrate readers by hinti ng at an intended meaning without
actually delivering it. When reading involves guesswork, readers cannot be expect.ed to act
on instructions, accept decisions, or give new ideas serious thought. Imprecise wording
put.~ writers in a had Light too because poo r word choi.c e can be mistaken for fuzzy logic
or unclear thinking. lt is worth keeping in mind that the more exact your word choice is,
the more persuasive and informative your message wi ll he. Every word you write s hould he
dear and purposeful. Here are some tips for writing with precision:

1. Provide s p ecific details that h elp readers act on information and r equests.
concrete nouns things knowable Concrete nouns (things knowable by the senses-computer, annual report. , rt:sume)
through the senses. are easier to grasp than abstract nouns (intangible things knowable throl.tgh only
abstract nouns things nol the intellect- integrity, loyalty, justice). Use concrete language as much as possible
knowable through the senses. to support and explain abstract words and show readers exactly what you mean.
Because the language o r business is foll of intangible abstracts- security, prestige,
profitability, leadership- hard data can be used to make difficult concepts meaningful
to readers.

Abstract: Our company demands loyalty.

Abstract/Concrete: Our company demands employee loyalty to corporate policy.

2. Quantify facts and avoid vague qualitative statements. Tell readers how much,
how many, or what type you mean, specify when something happened or happens,
and identify by tit.le o r name the agents and recipients of parr.icular actions.

Vague: They received some complaints about it some time ago.

Specific: Our customer service representatives received 36 complaints about Model

GSOO in 2013.

Readers, though we might wish otherwise, are not mind readers. They may not
underst.and what descriptive terms such as soon, later, good, bad, nice, numerous, ~11b
stantially, or a majority really mean. These are t.em1s that. are oft.en used out of polite-
ness, as hedbring devices that sound less harsh and demandi ng than specific words.

Vague: A majority of employees indicated they would sign the agreement soon.

Specific: Close to 75 per cent of employees indicated they would sign the
agreement by Friday.

Vague: The stock is performing poorly. (Which stock? Performing lww poorly?)

Specific : Shares of Grocerynet.com lost 1S per cent of their market value in 2013.

3. Avoid ambiguous and non-idiomatic expressions. Amhibruous statements-state-

ments that are open to interpret.ation-can he conrusing for readers. For instance,
a sentence such as She said rm Thursday she would drop by the office can mean two
things-either that the statement was made on Thursday or that the visit would
occur that day. As you compose your draft or write your message, check for potential
 3 I BUSINESS STY LE: WORD CHO ICE, CO NCISENESS, AND TONE

mult.iple meanings and keep in mind that readers like consistency, thus making i.t
import.ant to avoid using two or more names for the same thing.
Using idiomatic eiqnessions can also reduce confusion. Idioms are word group- Idiom a word or phrase that Im
ings that "sound right" to a typical reader and have special meaning distinct from a meaning dllfemnt from Its l~eral
meaning.
their literal meaning: hand in (suhmit), look up (search for information), and find out
(de1.ermine or discover information) Used correctly, these phrasal verbs add punch to
your writing, hut they can also he difficult for anyone new to English to rememher or
decipher. Idiomatic usage also applies to the pairing of prepositions with adjectives
(different from) and nouns (use for) . For instance, the phrase "to have confidence in" is
correct hut "to have confidence rm" is not. When you need to know which preposition
to pair with a particular word, it is always wise to refer to a college-level dictionary or
an icliomat.ic dictionary, such as the Oxford Advanced learner's Dictionary.

4. Use comparisons an d analogies to clarify. likening an unfamiliar or complex con-

cept to a familiar one is a common fom1 of explanation. In fact, the husiness world is
full of descriptive analogies, such as brain drain (a general term used hy management analogy an explanation of the
for the cross-border or overseas mib'l'ation of specialists), which make fuzzy concepts unfamiliar In fomlllar terms.
elem: and tangible. When there is no other way t.o -explain a concept, a comparison
can help to bring it into sharper focus. (See also Appendix A, under the heading
"Usage: Differentiating Commonly Confused Words.")

WORD CHOICE STEP 4: PRACTISE FACTUAL AND

ETHICAL COMMUNICATION
How you communicate on the joh is a reflection of your ethical standards and those of
your organization. With this in mind, it is important to follow ethical practices in your
workplace communication . Here is a recap of tips for ethical business communication
already discussed in Chapter 1.

1. Be reasoned, factual , and moderate in your j udgmen ts. Keep personal biases out of
your workplace communication and use only inclusive, non-discriminatory lanb'1.1age
(see the following sections).
2. Consider the impact your communication has on others as well as yourself.
Make sure the actions you endorse are legal and that your communication would
renect well on you if it were disclosed publicly. Bending I.he rules, even ror a trusted
colleague, might compromise your integrity.
3. Consult qual ified colleagues. If you suspect that what you are writing is conten-
tious o r incrimi nating, seek out experi enced co-workers to help you navigate eth-
ical minefields and find feasible solutions to t.he wording of important messages
and documents.
4. Avoid libellous language. As stated in Chapter 1, common law protects every person
against libel (printed character defamation). Words that are harmful and potentially
libellous include drunk, lazy. crazy, mmked, corrupt, Incompetent, stupid, maniac, drug
addict, junkie. thief, and crippled.
5. Be timely and accurate in your communication. Avoid unjustified delays in replying
or processing information. Retain print or electronic copies of important documents.
6. Avoid untrue, deceptive, or misleading statements. There are stiff penalties for all
rorms of misrepresentation, including false advertising. It is a good policy to hack up
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

n One of the recent high

profile cases of plagiarism
Involves journallst and author
Jonah Lehrer. In 2012, It was
discovered that Loehrer had
selfplaglarlzed some of his
pre-publlshed articles and,
In his book Imagine: How
Crtatlvlty Work!, Invented
quotes. Consequently, Lehrer
resigned from The New Yorker
and was fired from Wired. His
books were also removed from
the market.
Soun:e: Photo by Sur.anne Kreiter/
The Boston Globe via Getty Images

any generalization qualified hy entirely. completely. or always with supportahle facts

and evidence.
7. Know what you can :md cannot disclose to certain parties. Familiarize: yourself
with corporate disclosure practices and confid entiality agreements and han dle your
organization's int.ellectual property with care. Follow proper channels of comm unica-
tion, kn ow what you can or must comm unicate, and carefully weigh hot.h sides of an
issue hefore you act or comment on it.
8. Distinguish between fact and opinion. let readers know the difference hetween
unsubstantiated hdief or conjecture and verifiahl e fact.. Passing off an opinion as a fact
L~ misleadi ng and unethical.

9. Don't claim authorship of documents you have not wdtten. The conseqi..1ences of
plagiarism- not givi ng credit where credi t is d ue- are serious. Always acknowledge
your sources through not.es o r citations, and never take credit for ideas that aren't
your own.

For effective writing on the job, opt for language that has the following features:
Cl Plain a nd Familia r: Use short and common words that are meaningful and easily
understood.
Cl Fresh a nd Current: Match you r language to the image of your profession and
organization, avoiding stale and outdated expressions.
Cl Specific a nd Functional: Show readers what you mean through specific details and
precise wording, and key language to your reader's understanding.
Cl Factual and Ethical: Avoid angry, exaggerated, irresponsible, and libellous statements.
 3 I BUSINESS STY LE : WORD CHO ICE, CO NCIS ENES S, AND TON E

Achieving Conciseness
It may come as no surprise that the origin o f the term business is bu~y-ness. Time constraints
and pressing deadlines are t.he nom1 for most h usiness people. Therefore, they expect to
receive workplace documen ts that get to the point directly, with an economy of words and
a mi nimum of clutter. A modest amount of time spent in crafting a concise, easy-to-read,
well-organized message is time saved for your readers. In turn, time saved translates not
just into m oney earned or saved hut into goodwill from the busy people you communicate
with on a regular basis. Compare the following messages--think about how long it takes to
read each one and how the choice of words affects coheren ce and readability:

Original: This is a just a very brief memo to inform you that it is the opinion of the
employee council that at the present time it is expedient to undertake an
investigation of the possible institution of a proposed on-site fitness centre.
Kindly be advised that anytime up to August 31 you should make your views
known to your employee council representative.

Revised: The employee council invites your input on the proposed creation of an on-site
fitness centre. Please contact your employee council representative before
August 31 .

long, ind irect ways of expressi ng things are a major source of wordiness. While concise-
ness is a virtue in business communication, the same cannot he said for conciseness that is
overdone, leading to messages that sound uneven, too bh.mt, or too rude. A little terseness
or even abruptness--like th e kind that occurs naturally in a quick e-mail as you move
from one thought to the next-can be expected occasionally and is usually excusable.
Readers may begin to have problems, th ough, when they encounter a writing style that
L~ so telegraphic I.hat there is not enough detail or development to make a message lucid,
understandable, or complete. After all, readers should not be expected to supply or men -
tally fill in missing words.
Conciseness means using the fewest words t.o say what you need to accurately and
completely Weighing the need for conciseness against sim ilar concerns for completeness
and politen ess is impo rtant once you pass the draft phase, where wordiness is under-
standable. Kn owing what you can eliminate without sacrificing your intended mean ing
or ignoring your read ers' needs is key to answering the triple demands of conciseness,
completeness, and politeness.

Wordy: Please note that you are requested to read and offer your
comments on the attached file.

Terse: Read this. Get back to me.

Concise and polite: Please review and comment on the attached file.

Politeness strategies sometimes work at cross-purposes to editing techn iques, hut it is

still relatively easy to write concise messages that have tlhe righ t level of courtesy. Editing
documents for conciseness is really a form of precision revision. You can start hy easily
eliminating anything that does not add meaning to your message: long lead -ins, noun
conversions, padded and redundant expressions, needless relative pron ouns, an d excess
modifie rs. Getting rid of sentence padding and ach ieving conciseness requires onJy a little
extra time, so avoid falli ng into the same trap as French mathematician Blaise Pascal, who
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
once admitted to a friend, "l made this lette r longer than usual because ! lack the time to
make it short." Here are nine ways to keep your messages concise:
verbs words that describe actions,
occurrences, orstates of being.
nouns words that name people,
places, things, and abstract
concepts.
noun conversions or
nomlnallzatlons vetbs that
have been converted Into nouns
wtth the addition or -mentor
rlon ending~
1. Eliminate long lead-ins. 13asehall pitchers warm up in the bullpen before th ey head
to th e mound. Many writers prefer to "limber up" in the same way hy starting their
sentences with an introductt.ory phrase or two before th ey get to the point. While
soften ing a message in this way is a common politeness strategy. lead-ins are mostly
unnecessary because they add nothing to a sentence except ror information that is
already obvious (e.g., This message is to inform you that ... ). Readers in a hurry want
in formation conveyed to them as directly as possible. Unless extreme politeness is
required, delete any opening ph rases ending in that or because. ln brief messages,
such as routine e-mail, make sure you get to the point before a count o f three.
Wordy: I am writing to inform you that parking lot C will be closed for maintenance
Monday, September 30.
Concise: Parking lot C will be closed for maintenance Monday, September 30.
2. Revise noun conversions. Each type of word has a different purpose. Verbs are
"doing" words that convey act.ions, conditions, and stat.es o f being. Nouns name
people, places, things, and abstract concepts. When verbs are converted into nouns,
often with the addition of a -tion or -ment end ing, they lose th eir power and agency,
like an engine run ni ng on empty, and in tum require weak supporting verbs to
convey their actiorL~ fully. All the attention is then focused on the converted noun-
words such as establishment, approval, d1:cisio11- instead of on the p1imary action of
the senten ce, wh ich is hidden in the long noun phrase. As you review the chart below,
note how affected and formal noun conversion phra~es sound when compared with
the verbs from wh ich th ey a~e derived:
Noun Conversion Phrase Vrb
reach a conclusion conclude
make the assumption assume
make a decision decide
conduct an investigation investigate
engage in consultation with consult
give consideration to consider
give authorization for authorize
Noun conversions (or nominalizations, as they are sometimes known) may sound
impressive and can even slow d own the pace of your writing, hut they will also make
your writing weak and wordy, so it is best to avoid us ing them.
Wordy: Can Pac undertook a revision of its full-year earnings forecast.
Concis e: Can Pac revised its full -year earnings forecast.
Wordy: Leading economists mad a prdiction of a stronger Canadian dollar.
Concise: Leading economists predicted a stronger Canadian dollar.
Wordy: City council brought about an am ndment to the bylaw.
Concise: City council amnded the bylaw.
 3 I BUSINESS STY LE: WORD CHO ICE, CO NCISENESS, AND TONE

3. Eliminate redundancies. Redund<Ulcies are unplanned repetitions-word pairs that redundancies unplanned
express the same meaning twice. Avoid the following "douhled-up" expressions hy mpalltlons.
eliminating the italicized word:

absolutely essentia l enter into

past experience necessary imperat ive
each and every (use each or every) mutual co-operation
reiterate again exactly identical
refer back

4. Eliminate or revise empty words and phrases. Rid your sentences of imprecise,
inexact language. Clear away the deadwood-words that lack meaning-and trim
padded expressions.

Replace With
am of the opinion that believe
as a matter of fact actually (or nothing at all)
at a later date later
at t his point in ti me now, currently, at present
by an act of coincidence coincidentally
despite the fact that althe>ugh, though
d ue to the fact that becau se (of), since
during t he course of during, in
during t he t ime that when, while
for the purpose of to
for the reason that becau se, since
in addition to the above also
in light of the fact t hat becau se
in the amount of for
in the event t hat if
in the process of now, currently
in view of t he fact that becau se (of), since, as
in spite of t he fact that even t hough
it is probable that probably
it has been brought to our attention we have learned
I wish to call your attention to note, please note
make t he necessary inquiries look into, investigate
notwithstanding the fact t hat even t hough, although
t he point I am trying to make (noth ing)
t he question as to whether whet her
to all intents and purposes in effect, really
with the exception of except, except for

Articles such as the, a, and an are sometimes overapplied. Omit the hefore plural
nouns expressing generalizations.

Unnecessary Article: The human resources specia lists review the applications.

Articles Omitted : Human resources specia lists review applicat ions.

 COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS
5. Use strong, precise, accurate verbs. Opt for clear, precise, instructive verbs rather
active voice awriting style In
which the grammatical subject of a
sentence performs tlie acnon.
passive voice awriting style In
which the grammatical subject of a
sentence Isacted upon.
6. Revise prepositional phrases. Prepositions-common words such as in, to, at, of,
prepositional phrase a phrase
beginning With a preposition and
functioning as a modifier.
than extwded verb phrases.
Wordy: The learning centre placed an order for materials for the courses.
Concise: The learning centre ordered course materials.
Eliminate the need for intensifiers and qualifiers-words such as really, e.-xtremely,
fncredihly, definitely, rather- by finding a verb that is an exact fit for the meaning you
wish to deliver.
Wordy: We were really incredibly thrilled to hear of the partnership.
Concise: We were delighted to hear of the partnership.
Avoid poorly defined, ambiguous verbs whose meanings are open to interpretation.
Substitute strong verbs ror -.~ion and -tion words.
Weak Verb: Buying market share in foreign markets affected profits.
(affected how?)
Precise: Buying market share in foreign markets increased profits by
lOpucent.
Replace weak verbs, such as have and he (am, is, an:, was, were) when they occur
alone, with strong ones.
Weak Verb: The CEO is of the opinion that the company will survive the current
crisis that has to do with dot-com instability.
Precise: The CEO believes the company will survive the current crisis caused by
dot-com instability.
Weak Verb: It is necesHry for him to complete the application.
Precise: He nHds to (or must) complete the application.
Replace c:ould!would!should with strong verbs when you do not need to show that an
action is conditional.
Weak Verb: In her previous job, she would write to charitable foundations.
Precise: In her previous job, she wrote to charitable foundations.
As much as possible, write in the active voice (as opposed to the passive voice; see
Chapte r 4), which is usually the most concise way to con vey an action.
Passive Voice: The script of the speech should be edited and double-spaced.
Active Voice: Edit and double space the script of the speech.
after, with, between- combine \vith other words to rorm prepositional phrases.
These modifying phrases show relationships in time and space, indicating how, when,
where, or how long something happens. The wordiness of some prepositional phrases
can make sentences sound awkward and overWTitten. The phrase can usually he
replaced with a single-word modifier.
 3 I BUSINESS STY LE : WORD CHO ICE, CONCISENESS, AND TON E

Wordy: An error in computation was discovered in the report from last spring.
Concise: A computational error was discovered in last s pring's report.

Prepositions are useful in breaking up long chains o f nouns used as adjectives. They
clarify relationships so readers can tell which nouns are modifiers and which nouns
are being modified.
growth management executive training - j growth management training for executives
petroleum diesel replacement fuel - j replacement fuel for petroleum diesel
climate change mitigation technologies - j technologies to mitigate climate change

7. Eliminate fillers. Avoid beginning sentences with empty filler words such as there isl
are and it is/was (when it has not been defined) that force readers to wait fo r the sub-
ject t.bat the entire sentence hinges on. Expletive constructions, as they are called, expletive construction a phrase
act as a comm on delaying tactic that makes sense only when extreme politeness or such as tl1ere is/ore or It /;/was at
the beginning of a clause, delaying
emp liasis is called for. Otherwise, delete the eirpletive and craft a straightforward sen-
the lntroductl on of lho subject.
tence that begins with the subject, followed closely by verb and object.

Wordy: There are three bids that the board is considering.

Concise: The board is considering th ree bids.

Wordy: It is paying down debt that is our priority.

Concise: Paying down debt is our priority.

8. Shorten multiple that!whicli!wlw clauses. Used to excess, clauses introd uced by

that, which, and who create a clumsy stop-and-go sentence flow. In most cases, you
can drop that, which, or who as well as the verb that immediately follows it. Sometimes
an en tire clause can he reduced to a single word by making this simple change.
Wordy: His company, which is reputed to be a laader in employee satisfaction,
hosts regular events for employees who have retired.
Concise: Hi s company, a reputed leader in employee satisfaction, hosts regular
events for retirees.
Wordy: We offer prices that are competitive.
Concise: We offer competitive prices.

9. Combine s horter sentences, reduce clauses and phrases. Use pronouns (that,
which, who, as well as personal pronouns) to combine shorter related sentences and
eliminate monotonous repetition . Reduce sentences to clauses, clauses to phrases,
and phrases to single words.
Wordy: She is a sales representative. She specializes in commercial real estate.
Concise: She is a sales representative who specializes in commercial real estate.
(second sentence reduced to a clause)
Concise: She is a sales representative specializing in commercial real estate.
(second sen tence reduced to a phrase)
Concise: She is a commercial real estate sales specialist.
(second sen tence reduced to desc1iptive words)
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
tone the Implied attitude of the
author to the reader, as reflected by
word choice.
denotation a word's literal or
dlctlonary deHnltlon.
connotation a word's Implied
or associative meaning, often
coloured by emotion.
Cl Have you used as few words as possible to make your point?
Cl Have you eliminated long leadins and sentence fillers?
Cl Have you replaced noun conversions (and -ize words) with strong verbs?
Cl Have you eliminated redundancies, empty words, and empty phrases?
Cl Have you replaced prepositional phrases with single-word modifiers?
Cl Have you shortened clumsy that/which/who clauses and combined short, related
sentences?
Tone
Read between the li nes of almost any husiness message and it is possihle t.o detect the writ-
er's frame of mind, inklings of demand or respect, arrogance or modesty, or indifference or
concern. Thjs impression is a product o r tone. Tone refers to the mood of a message- the
implied attitude of the writ.er to the suhject and readers. In the absence of vocal inflect.ion
and visual cues such as body language, I.one in written communication creates an impres-
sion ba~ed purely on the words that are used and the length and structure or sentences the
writer happens to choose.
The tone of a message should support iL~ content and remain fairly consistent from
beginning to end. A wide range o r tone is possible in workplace communication, meaning
that a casual tone appropriate fm- an e-mail message to an associate will he unacceptable
in a fom1al report, which demands a more serious and professional tone. Ultimately, much
depends on the writing situation, purpose, and chmmel of communication . O nce you
have determined the tone you want to use, it should remain consistent throughout a docu-
ment, mainly hecai1se erratic, "Jekyll-and -Hyde" shifts in tone give mixed messages that
unsettle readers and leave them confused ahout your attitude and intentions. Make sure
the tone you establish supports your content and creates the right impression.
TUNE IN TO WORD CONNOTATIONS
Words with similar or overlapping meanings, like the synonyms in a typical thesaurus
entry, rarely mean exactly the same tlu ng. While a word's denotation- its literal, diction-
ary definition- is something i.t may share with many synonyms, its connotation- its
implied , associative meaning- is distinct in t.em1s of the positive or negative emotional
response the wo rd provokes. Th.e way a word affects the reader helps to differentiate it,
even si1htly, from other words with similar o r overlapping meanings. Consider the con-
notation or emotional overtone o f each word in the follmving series:
cheap/inexpensive/cost-effective/low priced/thrifty/economical
artificial/faux/synthetic/sham/fake/man-made/imitation/mock
flexible/changeable/fickle/adaptable/compliant/resilient
Implied meaning has the power lo shape percept.ions, which accounts for why a
"pre-owned velucle" may sound like a hett.er investment than a "used"' or "second-hand"
 3 I BUSINESS STY LE: WORD CHO ICE, CO NCISENESS, AND TONE

car, even though the producl~ these terms label may he virtually the same. Tuning in to
the con notations of words can help you anticipate your readers reaction to the words you
choose. The right words may not just he the ones with the more accurate denotations hut
the ones with the most appropriate connotations.

KEEP YOUR STYLE CONVERSATIONAL

Formality involves the observance of style rules and conventions. Levels of formality formality lhe level of writing;
depend mostly on word choice, sentence length, and sentence structure. Most business whether the writer Isusing the
appropriate register based on
writing, with the exception of formal reports, meets the needs of a wide audience with an obscrvanrn of the rules and
a mid-level style that is fairly conversational and moderately informal. Writing conver- conventionsof wrttlng.
sationally is a~ easy as imabri.ning yoursetr sitting across from your reader and expressing
yourself as you would in an ordinary face-to-face discussion or meeting. Jn wri ting your
message as you would say it, try to resist the temptation to be overly chatty or to repeat
yourself. The result should he unforced and natural, not stiff or stuffy. Naturalness, how-
ever, should never be confused with sloppiness, so keep sentence length manageahle, use
correct grammar, and edit to eliminate awkwardness. A written style that is too infomial or
casual-with noticeable slang, colloquialisms, and grammar ahuses-can give the impres-
sion of carelessness and even suggest poor work habits. Writers have some freedom to
vary theiT level of fomiality from document to documen.t, hut a mid-level style is typical
of business letters, memos, in.formal reports, and most print journalism. Its elements are
summed up in the checklist below:

0 even-handed, efficient, conversational tone

0 mix of familiar words and business terms

0 correct grammar and standard punctuation

0 manageable sentence structure (one to three clauses per sentence)

0 single-word verbs and phrasal verbs (look into instead of investigate; throw out
instead of discard')

0 occasional contractions (I'm, she's, we're, it's, can't, isn't, who's)

0 personal pronouns and limited forms of personal address

l&J slang, legalisms, long words, outdated language

Ex<unples: I am pleased to submit the enclosed report.

Please have a look at the enclosed report.

SELECT THE RIGHT LEVEL OF FORMALITY:

PERSONAL AND IMPERSONAL STYLES
Within the acceptable range of business style, it is possi.hle to be more or less formal and
more or less personal. A personal style puts you and/or your readers into your sentences personal style a style of writing
through the free use of first- and second-person pronouns (I, me, we, us, you). The impres- that seems warm and friendly
based on ns usc offirst- and
sion it brives is one of warmth, friendliness, and candour, helping to build rapport and sccond-pcrso n pronouns.
engage readers. Because facts are either delivered from the writer's perspective or targeted
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
Impersonal style a style of
writing that seems objective and
dNacllcd based on Its use of third
person pronouns.
specifically at readers, this style sometimes seems biased or slanted, even when it is not.
Personal style is characterized by the following elements:
short sentences
personal pronouns
first names and personal references
active voice used throughout
An impersonal style uses only th ird-person pronouns (he, she, it, one, they) . It soun ds
d etached yet objective, emphasizing facts and concepts rather than the writers perspec-
tive. For th is reason, impersonal style is com mon ly used for announcements an d policy
statements. Warmth gives way to efficiency, but the result is not necessarlly stuffy or p re-
tentious. Impersonal style is characte rized hy the following elements:
a mix of sentence lengths, in eluding long sentences
no personal pronouns
no first names or personal referen ces
legitimate use of the passive voice
Personal Style Impersonal Style
I recommend that the company The company should reschedule its annual
reschedule its annual general meeting. general meeting.
Please let me know if you have any Employees should submit all inquiries to
questions. their supervisors.
BE POSITIVE
ls the glass half empty or half full? The answer to th is question separates the optimists
from the pessimists. Readers usually like to think o f their glasses as half full, wh ich means
they are more receptive to good news or neu tral news that is free of negativity. Although
you should neve r knowingly d istort facts or ideas just for the sake of put.ting a positive
spin on th em, it is worth remembering that positive wording makes messages reader-
friendly and lnviting. Unless you are issu ing a warni ng meant to stop or deter certaln
actions, it L~ useful to emphasize what the reader can do instead of what the read e r can't.
Negative attitud e: You cannot use Verified by Visa until you have been issued a
password.
Pos itive attitude: You may begin using Verified by Visa once you receive your
password.
Avoid negar.ive wording for positive or neutral ideas:
Negative wording: You will never be sorry you purchased a three-year extended
warranty.
Positive wording: Your three-year extended warranty covers all parts and on-site
repairs.
Weigh the impact nf hlatan t o r h idden negatives such as wifortunately, allege, careless,
n:gret, mistake, oversight, overlook, negligence, neglect, unable, reject, deny, and fail (ure) before
 3 I BUSINESS STY LE : WORD CHO ICE, CO NCIS ENES S, AND TON E

you use them. Used the wrong way, these can he harsh , innexihle words that antagonize
readers by painting them as adversari es or inferiors.

l&J By failing to park in your assigned space, you caused our visitors a terrible
inconvenience.

IZf Parking spaces adjacent to the entrance are reserved for visitors.

Rely on tl1e suhordinating power o f grammatical structures such as dependent clauses and
the passive voice (see Chapter 4) to reduce negativity and depersonalize un favourahle facts.

Negative: We cannot extend credit to you at this time.

Less n egative: Although credit cannot be extended to you at this time, we look forward
to serving you on a cash basis.

STRESS READER BENEFITS AND RELEVANCE

Occasionally, everyone reads a message on ly to a.~k. What does this have to do with me?
Relevan t, reader-focused messages never provoke this reaction. Instead readers can easily
see how information concerns them o r how they stand to henefit.
When readers feel that their opinions matt.er and have heen taken into consideration,
they are m ore likely to follow instructions and comply with requests. To write in a reade r-
focused style, edit you r messages with the following suggestions in mind:

1. Present meaningful content. Avoid sen ding trivial o r unnecessary messa-

ges, as they might cause your reade r to overl ook the serious ness of future, more
important messages.
2. Develop a positive you-attitude. Make the readers part of your message by pre-
senting your in formation from their point of view rather than your own whenever pos-
sible. An exclusively w1iter-cen tred approach can sou nd egotistical, hut it. is possihle to
inj ect you-attitude in to your messages by switch ing &om first-person pronouns (1, me, you-attitude a writing style that
my, we, m, our) to more inviting second-person pronouns (yo11,yo11r,yrru.rselj) . focusc;s on the reader rather than
thcwiltcr.
Writer-centred: I am hosting a private reception at the Royal York Hotel on
December 15 and am inviting a ll senior managers to attend.

Reader-focused : As a senior manager, you are cordially invited to a private

reception at the Royal York Hotel on December 15.

Writer-centred: We offer our repeat customers substantial discounts.

Reader-focused: As a repeat customer, you will enjoy substantial discounts.

A since re you-attitude L~ one that. doesn't ove ruse second-person pronouns to the
point where readers feel um:omfor1.able or man ipulated. Do not use the you-attitude
nega tively, as readers could feel singled out, criticized, or accused:

Negative you-attitude: Your failure to observe safety guidelines will result in a

mechanical shutdown.

Neutral. attitude: The machine automatically shuts down whenever a safety

infraction occurs.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

we-attitude a wrlt1n9 style Lhat A good way to involve readers is by using a compliance-boosting we-attitude- a com-
focuseson th<i shar<ld goalsand mon feature o f managerial comnrnnications -that hreaks down authority aT.ld u nit.es
values of the writer and reJder(s).
writer and reader in common "we're-all-in-th is-together" values, goals, and initiat.i.ves.
3. Emphasize benefits to readers. Put yourself in your readers' place. Appeal lo readers
and their interests hy indicating what they stand to galn. This may he all the lncen-
tive or motivation neces..<;ary t.o encourage a favourable, act.ion-ori en ted response. Thi.s
technique is especially well suited to service-oriented messages.

Writer-centred: We ask that all customers complete the enclosed questionnaire

by April 30 so that we may assess the effectiveness of our
technical support services.

Reader-focused: To ensure you receive the highest standard of technical support,

please assist us by completing the enclosed quality-control
questionnaire.

BE POLITE
A little common courtesy can make readers feel uncommonly good . Politeness creates a
humane environ ment of mutual respect and consideration where work gets don e more
easily. Rudeness, pushiness, sarcasm, and abruptness -whether actual or perceived- can
alienate reade rs. Being courteous involves more than just adding a simple please or thank
you to brief or routine messages: courtesy is a mindset with zero tolerance for sarcasm ,
cond escension, presumptuousness, or anger. Emotional language can provoke h ostile
reactions, so avoid ph rases of demand or advisement that he little or talk down to readers.

Rude: Obviously, if you had the slightest idea of our policies you would have known
that unless you want to be fired, you should never use company-issued
cellphones for personal calls.

Polite: Please reserve your company-issued cellphone for business calls so that
customers and associates may contact you without delay.

Extreme politeness, on th e other hand, can be mistaken for coldness or insinceri ty. It
can also undennine your assertiveness or authority. especially if you suppress or censor
what you need t.o say for fear o f s oun ding impolite. Do your hest to st.rive for a courteous
tone that sounds natural, friendly, and unforced.

Too Polite: Kindly be advised that, if even the smallest question arises, we will be only
too happy to help.

Polite: Please contact us if you have any questions or concerns.

USE INCLUSIVE LANGUAGE

No one likes being unfairly singled out on the hasis of sex, ethnicity, age, disability, or
group membersh ip- hut this is exactly what happens in cases of discrimination. Not
on ly unacceptable hut also against the law, di..<;crimination involves the maki ng o f unj ust
and prejudicial distinctions ahout in dividuals. The Canadian Human Rights Comm ission
(CHRC) defines djscriminatory treatment on 11 proh ihited grounds: age, sex (including
 3 I BUSINESS STY LE: WORD CHO ICE, CO NCISENESS, AND TONE

preb>L1ancy and childbirth), sexual orientation, religion, race, colour, national or ethnic
origin , marital stat.us, family status, physical o r mt:nt.al disability (including past/present
alcoh ol dependence) , and pardoned criminal conviction. Discriminatory and gender-
biased language, even when it is unintentional, demeans and offends readers, leaving them
hurt and unreceptive. Such language is actionable, open.ing the way for harassment suits
and legal proceedings. Using inclusive, b ias-free language that treats all groups equaUy
and fairly shows sensitivity, consideration , and respect, all of wh i.ch build goodwill and
better business relations.

1. Don't make d iscrimin atory cmmnen ts. Avoid prohibited references when writing
about groups and individuals. Such infom1ation , even when it is offered in a positive
spirit, is irrelevant and can contribute to negative ste reotypes.

IEI Hassan, who fasts throughout the day during this month's observance of
Ramadan, will nevertheless be available to answer your questions.

0 Hassan will be available to answer your questions.

IEI Please contact Piotr, who has a nice Polish accent but speaks English well.

0 Please contact Piotr, our director of marketing services.

2. Use only gender-neu tral j ob titles and s alutations. Substitute correct and neutral
job titles-ones that do not suggest that only men or only women can h old a particu-
lar job- for traditional, gender-specific ones:

Gander-Biased Gander-Neutral
salesman salesperson, sales representative
spokesman spokesperson, company representative
businessman business person
chairman chair, chairperson
workman worker
man-hours working hours
female manager, male nurse manager, nurse
man and wife husband ancll wife, spouses
deliveryman courier

Sexist salutations such as Dt:ar Sirs and Gentlemen are like\vise considered outdated salutation a greeting at the
because they exclude a female audience. Revise any sentences containing sexist terms boglnnlng ora letter (e.g., "Dear
Ms.Giii").
and automatic gender assumptions about jobs:

Account managers are invited to bring their wives spouses/partners.

The giFls-ifl-.beekk~eping bookkeepers will correct the error in your account. or

Aruna Sharma and Joyce Fitzgerald in bookkeeping will correct the error in your
account. (Wh enever possible, refer to men and women by their specific
names.)

Each~~tary-reporttto-heNttpervisor. Secretaries report to their supervisors.

3 . Use Masculin e Pron ouns Rea sonably. Avoid using masculine pronouns (ht:, his, him,
himself) to refer to groups or individuals of un known gender. The old grammatical
rule of "common gender"- with its blanket use of mascuHne pronouns to refer to
COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

men as well a~ women- no longer applies and now comes across a~ sexist. Consider
the exclusionary nature of the followi ng sentence, in which all executives are assumed
to he male: Each exerutive has his own parking space. There are several ways to make
your writing gender-neutral when it comes to pronoun use:
0 Replace the offending pronoun with an indefinite article (a, an): Every
executive has a parking space.
0 Recast the sentenc11, making the singular pronoun plural: A// executives have
their own parking spaces.
0 Use both masculine and feminine pronouns when t hey do not recur
throughout the sentence: Every executive has his or her own parking space. Multiple
pronoun pairs can be awkward and impractical when revised this way.

0 Choose plural pronouns: They and their are non-standard replacements for
he and his-common in spoken English and increasingly acceptable in written
English but still not necessarily the best choice, especially in formal documents:
Every lawyer has their own parking space.

WRITE WITH CONFIDENCE

A confident tone encourages readers to accept yom decL~ions and opinions ratt.her than
question them. When you need to express yourself firmly and decisively, apply I.he follow-
ing strategies:

1. Use definite, forward-looking language. Give priority to strong, deliherate verhs,

precise nouns, and vivid adjectives.
l&J Although I might not have as much experience as t he other applicants, I did take
a few courses in risk management while trying to complete the requirements of
my MBA.

0 Two courses in risk management for my recently completed MBA degree will
allow me to contribute to your mutual funds division.

Use helping verhs of qualification, such as seems, amid, might, and may, only when
you need to express conjecture, doubt, or uncertainty.
2. Don't make unnecessary apologies. Apologies weaken your perceived authority,
especially if you find yourself apologizing for routine requests you must make to do
your job effectively Understand when apologies are needed (i.e., when something has
gone wrong) and when they are not.
l&J I am so sorry to have to ask you to confirm the time and location of our n ext
meeting.

0 Please confirm the time and location of our next meeting.

3. Use strong, assertive phrasing rather than "weasel words."' Deferential and well-
intentioned phrases such as I hope and l tru.~t can sometimes sound weak and tenta-
tive. With overuse, phrases such as perhaps if you have time, maybe if it's not too much
trollble, if you could possibly, or l find it probable that can slowly drain the power and
a~sertiveness from your writing. Other hedging words to watch ror and use selectively
include tend, in some ways, perhaps, seems, seemingly, possibly.
 3 I BUS INE SS STYLE : WORD CHOICE, CON CISENES S, AND TONE

4. Be knowledgeable and informative. Know your subject we ll enough to make it

intelligiblt: to the read er. A command of the facts is a natural credibili ty booster. Well-
presented data and meaningful lnfo rmation help red uce readers' uncertain ty and
allow them to take action and make sound decisions.

5. GuaTd against overconfidence. Too much confidence can make you sound egotis-
tical. Try not to cross I.he line between firmness and blatant arrogance. Remember that
boasting not only affecL~ credibility but also lllms readers off.

Boastful: You will undoubtedly agree that my marketing genius makes me more
t han qualified for the job.

Confident: My experience in marketing and add'itional background in public

relations have prepared me for this challenging position.

D Select the right level of formality. Decide how formal or personal you want to be and
choose words in the right register for your reader.
D Be positive. Use constructive language and avoid dwelling on negatives.
D Stress reader benefits and relevance. Cultivate a sincere you-attitude and interpret
facts and information to appeal to the reader's point of view.
D Be polite. Show courtesy and consideration.
D Use inclusive language. Don't discriminate. Use only bias-free terms.
D Write with c;onfidence. Be firm and decisive but never arrogant.

D Use plain, precise, and current language to make your message clear and meaningful
to your reader.
D Be ethical and purposeful in your choice of words to reflec t good public relations for
your company and good human relations with colleagues.
D Be brief and use as few words as possible to express your thoughts and pass on
information.
D Use a personal or impersonal style that's appropriate to the type of message you write.
D Make your messages constructive, relevant, reader-focused, and inclusive.
D Adopt a tone that's conversational, confident, and courteous.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
i[ WORKSHOPS AND DISCUSSION FORUMS
Tuning into Word Choice and Tone. ln each of the following
exercises, compare the sentence options and id entify the
factors that make one sentence preferable to the other(s).
a) Which style is more readable?
i. When new safety measures for plan t employ
ees go into effect March 1, machine operators
v,..;ll he required to wear protective goggles at
all times in the assembly facility.
ii. The March 1 effectuation o r amended plant
em ployee safety measures institutes a require
ment applicable to all machine operators who
v...;ll he expected to wear protective eyewear
devices whether or not they are engaged in
mach ine operation in the assembly facili ty.
b) Which wri ting style is more decipherable?
i. A prestigious con sulti ng firm reach ed the
conclusion that a specially formed committee
should un dertake an investigation o f corpor
ate asset mismanagement.
ii. A prestigious consulting fim1 concluded that
a special committee should investigate th e
m ismanagement of corporate assets.
c) which senten ce co nveys its info rm ation more
positively?
i. Our systems will be down until 4:00 p .m. today.
ii. Our systems will he operational as of 4:00 p .m .
today.
d) Which sentence makes a better impression on
the reader? How would you describe the tone in
each case?
. WRITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES
Recognize the Need for Plain, PrecL~e, and Current
Language
1. Using Familiar Words. "Translate" the following sen -
tences by replacing long, imfamlliar words, jargon ,
and noun ph rases with plai n English equivalents.
Sample: Please ascertain labour costs pertaining to
the Corbin project.
Revision: Please estimate labour costs for the Corbin
project.
i. Please let head o ffice kn ow o r your travel
plans in advan ce so that suitable arrange
ments can he made ror you.
ii. H you fall to notify head office of your travel
plans, you will cause terrible inconvenience
for all concerned.
) Which writing style L~ more likely to win over a
potential customer?
i. We are proud to be opening our new loca-
tion, with the largest square footage or any of
our five stores.
ii. Come celebrate the opening o r our n ew loca-
tion in Ilonaven ture Mall and enjoy tax- free
shopping on Friday, October 18.
iii. You are invited to our convenient new loca
tion in Bonaventure Mall
f) Which wTiting style is more likely to attract the
favourable at.t.ention of an HR job specialist?
i. No twithstanding my lack o f an y fu ll -time
work experi ence and the fact that I am still
trying to get my college diploma, l probably
could he the "dynamic and progressive intli-
vidi1al" for which your company advertised.
ii. With five years o f part- time work experience
ln a related field and a soon -to-he-completed
dip loma in logistics managemen t, 1 woi1ld
like to be considered for th e pos ition of
inventory specialist offered by your company.
a) It is incumbent on our organization to pursue
radical debt reduction th rough the implementa
tion o f a corporate asset divestment program.
b) Please acquaint yourse lf \vit.h the plans for th e
optimization o r plant- level infom1ation systems.
c) ln lieu o f a full refund , might we suggest a
suitable qu id pro quo or a complimentary pro
hono service.
 S I BUSINESS STY LE : WORD CHO ICE, CO NCISENESS, AND TONE
d) By rormulating a timeline, we will facilitate
production and accomplish our goals more
expeditiously.
e) We provide assistance consistent with yom
requiremen ts.
2. Using Fresh and Current Language: Eliminating
Slang and Clich9s. Revise the following sen tences hy
replacing slang and updating old-fashioned business
expressions.
Sample: Here's the 411 coming down the pike on
our latest corporate meltdown: everyone's
gonna be sacked unless the top guns
upstairs pony up and come up with some
megabucks.
Revis inn: The workforce will be downsized unless
management secures new funding.
a) Don't knock the head honcho: he may not have
deep pockets hut he never blows his cool.
b) Hey, office dudes and fellow paper pushers, check
out this most excellent report.
c) Please rest assured that if we tigh t.en our belts
and stay true to fom1, we should see a change fm
the better.
d) As per your request and for your perusal, please
find enclosed our newest home ownership saving
plan brochure.
e) FYl: a directorship is up for grabs but apparen tly
the joh pays peanuts.
3. Using Specific and Functional Language. Revise the
following sentences hy replacing vague words and
ahstrnct nouns wi th purposeful, concrete details.
Sample: Please contact me sometime soon.
Revision: Please phone me tomorrow.
a) Past perfom1ance reviews show that Vanessa is a
good employee.
b) Five of our cu rrent top salespeople are young.
c) Our real-est.ate b rokerage firm has low commL~
sion rates.
d) A majority of shareholders think a hostile take
over hid will affect share prices substan tially.
e) Our high-speed Internet service is really fast.
Ide:ntify Strategies for Concise Messaging
4. Achieving Conciseness by Eliminating Clutter. Edit
and revise the following sentences by elim inating
noun phrases, long lead-ins, expletive constructions,
prepositional phrases, and relative clauses.
Sample: The company undertook action that
was decisive despite the fact that the
resources it had were limited.
Revision: The company acted decisively despite its
limited resources.
a) It was a clerk from accounting who located the
spreadsheets that had been missing.
b) This is to fully apprise you o r the fact that there
are only six more work ing days in which to
submit your claim for reimbursement fo r travel
expenses ror 2011.
c) By and large, it is our assumption that share prices
have been sagging due to the fact that there is hy
all accounts weakness in this particular sector.
d) In response t.o your letter of August 16 that was
received Aub'llSt 18, we cannot act in accordance
\vith your exp ress wishes in making a refund due
to the fact that the warran ty of the product you
purchaed from us has expired.
e) For each and every customer who is dis..>atisfied,
there isn't only a sale that is lost, there is a life-
time value of that customer that is lost as well.
S. Achieving Conciseness by Eliminating Noun
Conversions. Revise noun conversions and imprecise
verbs in the follO\ving sen tences.
Sample: The budget chief endeavoured to make
an elimination of expenditures that were
unnecessary.
Revision: The budget chief tried to eliminate
unnecessary expenditures.
a) A senior engineer wi ll make an assessment of the
safety requirements and , if necessary, make chan
ges to them.
b) Our claims specialists are responsible for giving
assessmen ts o f coverage, liability, an.cl damages.
c) We gave consideration to how the company
would he affected before we made the decL~ion
to undergo conversion to clicks -and -mortar
retailing.
d) The marketing team saw to the finalization of the
branding agreement.
e) Many analysts have a preference for a layered
approach to security.
 COMMUNICATI N G FOR RESULTS
6. Achiving ConciHnus by Eliminating Rdundancis
and Rpetition. Revise the followmg sentences to ehm-
ma1 e obvious statements and unnecessary repetition.
Sample: Her sister is a woman who works as an
investment adviser at Forest Financial.
Revision : Her siste r is an investment adviser at
Forest Financial.
a ) 1r you rerer back to the final section of the repon,
you will see that the recom mendat ions suggest
we should continue on with the current profit-
shann g plan.
b) ln view or the fact that your freight has not
arrived as scheduled, we have asked our super-
visor of shipping to make the necessary inquiries.
c) During the course of the mee1ing, the need for
mutual co-operation was brought. to our a11.ention.
Differe11tlat.r between Personal and l111pcrso1tal
Styles
7. Writing Conv.rsationally and Informally. Rewrite the
following sentences in a less formal, impersonal style.
Sample: Subscription rates have increased by less
than 5 per cent.
Revision: I am sorry to tell you that subscription
rates have increased by less than
5 per cent.
a ) Th ose interested in volunteering ror the Uni ted
Way rund raising committee sh ould inform
human resources at their earliest convenience.
b) Supervisors should discipline brokers who use
discriminatory language when communicallng
with clients and co-workers.
c) The customer service depanrnent should continue
LO monitor al\ calls for purposes of quality control.
8. Writing Informally. lessen th e formality of 1he fol-
lowing e-mail message.
It is most important to note that, as of today,
advertisements for departmental job openings must be
routed through the human resources department. This
improvement is made in accordance with the company's
commitment to efficiency and operating expenditure
reduction. Following this new procedure will save
employees work and enable human resources to help
employees fill their openings more quickly.
Create Constructive, 1ncl1Lslve, and Reader-
Oriented Messages
9. Recognizing Positiv and Negative Connotations. For
each of the following semences, select the word(s)
with the most positive connotations. Which words
are too negative or col loquial for business use?
a) 0L1T senio r analyst was (i nstmcted/indm:trinated/
trained/educaled/hrai nwashed) al Algonquin
College.
b) Hts gradual concession to salary demands shows
that he is (carefuVcautious/wary/cakulating).
c) Jim is a(n) {productive/Type-A/hard-wo rking!
diligent/industrious) member or our staff who
is a(n) (creative/imaginative/gonzo/i nnovative/
inventive/original) problem-solver.
10. Being Positive. Revise t.he following sentence s to cre-
ate a posirive imp ression.
Sample: Because you failed to provide us with your
postal code, we could not send you the
estate-planning package you requested.
Revision: Please tell us your postal code so that
we may send you your estate-pla nning
package.
a) We never fail to offer our G!C investors the most
highly competitive rates.
b) ln your e-mail message to our customer service
d epartm ent, ym1 allege that ou r Dependability
Plus model pri nter is defective.
c) Aren't you being unreasonable in asking for your
vacation at this time of year?
d) lt is categorically impossible for us to obtain
model AJ 11, which is no longer in production.
Only model AJ12 1s available.
) Jn your 1mtial letter of January 10, your failure to
mention your concern over our hilling proced-
ures showed great carelessness. You were negli
gent in faili ng to mention your concern over our
hilling procedures.
11. Stressing Reader Benefits and Relevance. Revise the
foll owing sentences so that th ey reflect the reader's
viewpoint.
Sample: We charge our guests only S175 per
person for one night's accommodation at
our deluxe resort, a full spa treatment, and
dinner at our award-winning restaurant.
 S I BUSINESS STY LE : WORD CHO ICE, CO NCISENESS, AND TONE
Revision: For only S175 (per person), you can enjoy
a night's accommodation at our deluxe
resort, a full spa treatment, and dinner at
our award-winning restaurant.
a) I will allow you to take your vacation duri ng the
Last two wee ks of August.
b) We are currently seeking individuals to he part of
our highly focused and dedicated team.
c) We are pleased to announce a new rewards program
that guarantees d iscoun ts on future purchases.
d) I am enclosing Forni C52, which must he com-
pleted hefore we can reimhurse you ror your edu-
cational expenses.
e) Because we won't assume responsihility for per-
sonal injuries that occur on our premises, we ask
that you refrain from using the fron t lohhy while
lt undergoes renovation.
12. B111ing Polit. Revise the following sentences to reduce
their harsh ness and hostility and improve courtesy.
Sam ple: You had better get moving on that draft
proposal.
Develop a Conversational and Confident Tone
Revision: Please begin work on the draft proposal as
14. Writing with Confidence. Revise the following senten-
soon as possible.
a) U you honestly expect me to meet the Novemhei-
21 deadline, I need the latest sales figures and l
need them now, so hand them over!
b) If you had heen paying attention, yo u wo ul d
undoubtedly have known that without excep-
tion all requests for temporary personnel must he
made through the h uman resources departmen t.
c) We have far hetter things to do here at Apex
Ind us tries than speak with customers who could
easily find the same inform ation on our wehsil.e.
d) Have the decency to let me know how the meet-
ing went.
e) Since you're the team leade r, motivating team
members is your prohlem, not mine.
13. Using lnclusiv Languag. RevL~e the following sen.-
tences so that they are hias-free, gender-neutral, and
non-cl iscrimi natory.
Sample: John is the best handicapped IT specialist
we've ever had.
Revision: John is one of the best IT specialists we've
ever had.
a) Although shes just a young thing. harely out of
business school, Jessica has shown considerahle
leadership and acumen in her eight months as a
junior analyst.
b) The suspension of mandatory retirement means
that old folks can stay in their johs as long as
they like.
c) Jennifer suffers rrom houts of clinical depression,
hut her mood never seems to adversely affect her
joh performance.
d) All executives and their wives are in vited to our
ann ual Ch ristmas party. Every exeL1J1tive will have
his choice o r seating arrangement.
) Alt.h ough Mei Lin came to Canada from China
only a few years ago. she is an ahle s11okesman for
the agency.
ces to elimi nate any douhtful tone and tentativeness.
Sampl e: I'm sorry to have to ask you when we
might receive our new software.
Revision: Please tell us the delivery date of our new
software.
a) Perhaps you could send me the latest figures
sometime, that is, H it's not too much trouhle
for you.
b) Although l don't have m uch related work
experience, I'm attempting to complete an MBA
degree.
c) I hope you won't find rault with my investigation.
d) Apparently. the missing laptop you asked ahout
doesn't seem to he on our premises.
) In some ways, decentralization is possihly the
best thing we have ever tried to do.
 COMMUN I CATING FOR RESULTS
r
L ONLINE ACTIVITIES
Rrcog11lz;e tl1e Need for Plain, Precise, and
Current Language
1. Writing in Plain Style. Visit 1he resources page of 1.he
Plain Language Associa1.ion lnterna1ional website
and dick on "Business." Read the original excerpLS
from an insurance company form le11er and travel
agent correspondence. Without peeking al the sug-
gesu:d revisions, rewrite each message in plam style.
Afterward, cross-check your revisions with those pro-
vided by the site.
www.plainlanguagenetwork. org/Examples/
samples.htm l
2. Learning about Plain Style. Select 1.h ree exampies from
I he Plain la11!-,'1.13ge website and make a lis1 or tips fo r
writing in this style. Share the list wi lh your class.
www.plainlanguage.gov/exam ples/in dex.cfm
3. Identifying GrHk and Latin Roots. Visu the follow-
ing site, which includes a printable RooLS Dictionary,
and complete the six-section quiz and muhiple-
cho1ce review.
hup J/english.glendale.cc.ca.us/ro ots.html
4. Revising Abbreviations for Readability. Visit
lleuer-English.com and comple te the in terac tive
abbreviation exercises by co rrectly iden1ify1ng t.he
ablm:vii11.ion in each case. Jn a small group, discuss
how recognizable each abbreviatio n is and consider
iLS sui1ahility for professional communication.
www.hetter-english.com/voca hulary/
abbreviations.btm
S. Eliminating Slang and Cliches. Visit Better-English.
com and complete the interactive online exercise on
business idioms by filling in the blanks for each of
the twenty questions. The results will feature busi-
ness slang and diches. Suggest fresher, more profes-
sional all ernat.ives to the words provided and dist1.1ss
your choices with other members o r your class,
www.he t ter-english .com/vocabulary/hu~ids. htm
6 . Avoiding Clich's in Writing. Visit the University of
Richmond\; Wri1ing Cent.er web page and rework the
exercises two paragraphs to elimi nate trite, overused,
and tired expressions. Compare your revision with
those of several of your classmates.
http://writing2.richmond .edu/writinFfW\veh/
cliche.htm l
ldentif> Strategies Jot Concise Writing
7. Writing Concise Sentences. Visit Purdue University\;
Online Writing Lah a nd examine the "Eliminating
Words" examples. Revise each "wordy" sentence or
phrase, then co mpare your revision with the "con-
cise" version on the web page. 13ring your revisions
to class and compare and discuss them with 01.her
members of you r group.
h ttp://owl.english.purdue.ed u/owVresource/
572/02
Create Con..stt uctivc, Inclusive, Reader-Oriented
Messages
8. Recognizing Word Connotations. Go to Thesaurus.
com and enter three of the following words: ambi-
tious, intelligent, carel ess, advanced, aggrcssiv1.
Compare the sy nonyms and, in groups or three o r
four, discuss their con notations and suitahili1 y ror
business messages.
http://thesauru~. re ference.com
9. Accentuating the Positives. Read the online tutorial
from Purdue University, scroll down to ~Effective
Use of Space," and evaluate examples 1-6 to deter-
mine whether they present negative information
favourably.
http://owl.english.purd ue.ed u/owVresource/
654/0 1
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
1. Recognize the bulldlng blocks and the basic
types of sentences.
2. Improve sentence variety by matching
sentence style and length to purpose.
3. Phrase basic types of questions effectively.
4. Improve sentence clarity.
5. Use parallelism to write with consistency
and Impact.
1o. Apply strategies for proofreading different
6. Emphasize Important facts and Ideas;
minimize less Important ones.
7. Distinguish between active and passive
voice.
8. Eliminate sentence errors that Impair clarity
and unity: sentence fragments, run-on
sentences, misplaced and dangling modifiers,
mixed constructions.
9. Develop logical, coherent, and focused
paragraphs.
kinds of messages.
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
phrase a group of words
contllnlng either a subject or verb.
which c.innot stlnd on Its own as a
complote sentence.
subject ttie word or group of
words In a phrase, clause, or
sentence ttiat acts or Isacted upon.
verb ttie word or group of words
In a phrase, clause, or sentence that
describes an action, occurrence, or
state of being.
FOR USERS OF TWITTER and other social media sites, a mistake such as misplaced punc-
tuation Is usually not much cause for concern. In the high-stakes world of business, how-
ever, seemingly minor writing errors can cause serious misunderstanding and be extremely
costly. The case of the million-dollar comma Is one example. The story first grabbed head-
lines In 2006, when telecommu111lcatlons leaders Rogers and Bell Allant clashed over the
meaning of a sing le sentence In a 14-page contract. Rogers believed that It had an Ironclad
five-year deal to rent utility poles in New Brunswick, with an option to extend the agreement
another five years. However, Bell Allant raised Its rates and attempted to cancel the agree-
ment a year early. The placement of a comma In a crucial clause of the contract allowed Bell
Allant to justify Its actions. Rogers protested, saying that It would never have slg ned such
an agreement. The Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC)
settled the dispute by referring to the French version of the agreement, which stated that
the contract could not be terminated early.'
As this case shows, correct grammar Is important In business communications. Kyle
Wiens, CEO of IFlxlt and founder of Dozukl, gives such weight to grammar that he tests
every prospective employee. He believes that those who are mindful of grammar tend to be
equally thorough about everything else they do:
Applicants who don't think writing is important are likely to think lots of other important
things also aren't important. And I guarantee if other companies aren't issuing grammar
tests, they pay attention to sloppy mistakes on resumes. After all, sloppy is as sloppy does.
That's why I test people who walk in the door looking for ajob. Grammar ismy litmus test.
All applicants say they're detailed-oriented. I just make my employees prove it.2
One way to demonstrate your writing abilities and other professional skills is to master
sentence structure. Clear, error-free, and context-specific sentences and coherent para-
graphs accelerate the exchange of Information and win kudos from readers who know you
by your precision and the ease of communication.
Effective Sentences
Your ahllity to exp ress your thoughts de pend_~ largely on how well you can c:rafL sen-
tences and use their huilding hlocks t.o your advantage. While there isn't exactly a for-
mula to sentence construction in a scienti fic sense, there is a simple logic to it. The next
sections explore the ph rase, clause, and sentence types that give you the versatllity to
write effectively:
THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF COMPLETE SENTENCES:
PHRASES AND CLAUSES
The tools of any wri ter's trade are groups of related words-- hetter known as phrases and
clauses. Understanding what they are and how to put them together helps you write in
complete sentences and adds to your range of expression as a comm un icator.
A phrase is a group of words containing a subject or a verb hut not hoth . Ph rases
function as parts of speech- as nouns, verbs, and modifiers- but they do not express
complete thoughts, so pay attention to how they're used. A phrase punctuated like a com-
plete sentence is a sentence fragment, a potential source of confusion.
 4 I BUSINESS STY LE: SE NTE NCES A N D PARAGRAP HS

After negotiations, the company offered a new bonus plan to its employees. By
contacting our customer service representative, you may learn more about
this program.

A clause is a group of words containing a subject and a verb. There are two types: clause a group of related words
containing a subject and a
1. Independent clauses are grammatically complete and can stand on their mvn as complete verb; aclause can be
sen tences: either Independent (delivers full
meaning) or dependent (does not
The program cost more than we expected. dcllvor full moaning).

2. Dependent clauses are grammatically incomplete and reliant on independent clauses Independent clause a clause
that functions on Its own as an
for their meaning. Dependent clauses bebrin in one of two ways: with a dependent
Independent grammatical unit.
marker (a word such as if, as, because, since, or alth<1ugh) or with a relative pronoun
(that, which, or who) Any combination of subject and verb loses its grammatical com- de~ndent clause (or
subordinate clause) aclause that
pleteness with the addition of one of these simple words.
cannot function on Its own as an
Although the program cost more than we expected, it has improved company morale. Independent grammatical unit.

The program, which cost more than we expected, has improved company morale.

Clauses and phrases are the building blocks of sentences. Therefore, make sure
that you combine and punctuate them carefully.

TYPES OF SENTENCES
A sentence is not just a group of words hut a method for full and accurate communication.
To be complete and effective, a sentence must have two things: a suhject and a complete
verh, which carry the core of your meaning. For a group of words to qualify as a sentence,
these elements must make sen..~e together and express a complete thought.
The way ideas are linked affects your reader's un.dersl.anding of the relationship
between and among those ideas and their relative importance. There are four types of sen-
tences, each with its own distincl.ive quality and purpose .

Sentence Type Consisting of Example

1. Simple sentence one independent clause We will vote on the issue.

2. Compound sentence two or more independent John will present his report, and
clauses we will vote on the issue.
3. Complex sentence one dependent clause and When we meet Thursday, we will
one independent clause vote on the issue.

4. Compound-complex one dependent clause and When we meet Thursday, John

sentence two or more independent will present his report, and we
clauses will vote on the issue.

Silwple sentences are straightforward and emphatic. The short.er I.hey are, I.he more simple sentence a sentence
emphasis they have, although simple sentences may have up to twenty words. There are containing one main or
Independent clause.
two pot.emial drawbacks. Wi.thout t.he connecting words typical of other sentence types, a
simple sentence may not fully show relationships among ideas. A string of simple senten
ces can he flat and monotonous:
Tax season is approaching. I would like to update you on1some details.These details relate
to allowable deductions.
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

compound sentence a
sentence containing two or more
lndepcndont clausos joined by ona
or more coordinating conjul\Cllons.
Compound sentences join related sentences with coordinate conjunctions such as
for, and, nor, hut, or, yet, and so. Compound sentences stress the equivalence or equal
value of the ideas they express. It is important to use I.h is connecting tech nique- known
as coordination- only for related sentences. Over-coordinated sentences skew lobric and
lack un ity:

Over-coordinated sentence: You may choose from a number of investment options

and I look forward to our next appointment.

As two sentences: You may choose from a number of investment options.

I look forward to our next appointment.

As related clauses: I look forward to our next appointment, when you may
choose from a number of investment options.

complex sentence a sentence Complex and compound-complex sentences are hest at showing the relative
containing one Independent clause importance of ideas and encompassing details. Any o f the following suhordinate markers
and one dependent clause.
lessen the grammatical value of th e word groupings they're added to:
compound-complex sentence
a sentence containing one although even if though
dependent clause and two as even though unless
or more Independent clauses. as if if until
as soon as ifonly when
because in spite of where
before rather than whereas
despite since whether
even that while

A clause in troduced hy a subordinate marker

For more examples of clauses and
sentence types, see the Towson
University Online Writing Support page:
http://goo.gi/a2Wlha.
won't make sense on its own and must rely on an
independent (or stand-alone) clause in the same
se ntence for its mean ing. Remember th is gram
matical principle wh en you need to de-emphasize
unpleasant news.
Dependent clause: Although tomorrow's
e-business seminar has been cancelled.

Complex sentence: Although tomorrow's

e-business seminar has been cancelled, you
will have another opportunity to learn about
e-business issues at a series of lectures scheduled
for April.

Keep in mind that the longeT your sen tences are and th e more clai1ses they have, the
harder it is to find the subjects and verbs essential for delivering meaning. Sen tences with
more than th ree clauses can be difficult and confusing to read.
 4 I BUSINESS STY LE: SENTENCES AND PARA GR APH S

Make sure every sentence you write passes the "completeness test.
D Is there a verb 7
D Does the verb have a subject?
D Do the subject and verb make sense together and express a complete thought?
0 If the sentence contains subordinating words-relative pronouns (that, which, wha) or
subordinate markers-does the sentence also contain an independent clause?
If the answer to every question is yes, the sentence is comp lete.

IMPROVING SENTENCE VAR IETY AND LENGTH

Good writing relies on a natural mix o r sentence styles and lengths; however, you do not
need to he a "sentence cont.ortion L~t," constan tly shaping and reshaping sen tences just for
the sake of variety. Let the pat.terns of nom1al, everyday speech be your guide to fresh and
energetic writing. The following tips will help you break sentence monotony and create
useful distinctions among ideas:

1. Vary the rhythm b y alternating s hort and long sentences.

Please complete and return the enclosed survey [short sentence). Your answers to our
questions will help us review our current practices so that we may provide the highest
standard of customer service [l ong sen tence) . By completing the entire survey,
you will also receive a 25 per cent discount coupon that you can apply to your next
purchase from Software Plus [long sentence).

Senten ces of ten or fewer words have the greatest impact and readability; how
ever, sentences o f up to twenty words also have a high rate o r reader compreh en-
sion. Beyond that point, readers' ability to easily brrasp a sentence's meaning falls oIT
sharply. Your word-processing software will usually flag sent.ences that are too long to
he comprehensible.
2. Turn a clause into a prepositional phrase. A prepositional phrase is a group of prepositional phrase a phrase
words beginning with a preposition (a word such as with, at, 111, of, by, against, toward, beginning wtth a preposition that
sets out a relatlonshlp In time
from, above, 011, or in that relates a noun or pronoun to another word in the sentence). or space.

Two independent clauses: The plan has the support of upper-level

management. It will include extended
health benefits.

Senten ce with prepositional phrase: With r11c11nt s upport fro m upp11r-l11v11I

manage me nt, the plan will include
extended health benefits.
 COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESULTS
appositive a word or group of
words that renames a preceding
noun.
declarative sentence a sentence
that makes a statement
closed question a question
with a limited number of possible
responses.
open question a question with
an unlimited number of possible
responses.
Another way to convert two or more sentences lnto one is to use a sen tence
huild er known as a relative dause (a clause heglnning with that, which, or who). The
new clause, which replaces an entire sentence, acts like an adjective hy adding infor-
mation to deflne or descrihe a particular word or group or words.
Sentence with relative clause: The plan, which has thasupport of upper-level
management, will include extended health benefits.
A modifying phrase, so metimes called a partldpial phrase, can also he used to
streamline sentences. A participial phrase is easy to spot, as it contains a verbal- a
present participle (working), infinitive (to work), or past participle (worked). These are
words that look like verbs but don't actually qualify as verbs.
Sen tence with modifying phrase: Supported by upper-level management, the
plan will include extended health benefits.
3. Convert a sentence defi ning or describing something into a phrase or clause.
Use commas to set off the descriptive phrase or clause-called an appositive- from
whatever it follows and renames.
Two sentences: Frederica Schmidt is an investment consultant. She is a frequent
speaker at trade shows and conferences.
Single sentence: Frederica Schmidt, an investment consultant, is a freq uent
speaker at trade shows and conferences.
PHRASING BASIC TYPES OF QUESTIONS
Declarative sentences- sentences that make statements-are useful for relaying facL~ and
decislons, hut what lf your goal Ls to get information? Asking questions Ls an important
part of doing business, but there is, of course, more than one way to go ahout it. The type
o r question you ask depends on the type of response you seek-a quick confirmation, a
prohing analysis, or a creative breakthrough. Asking the right type of question is the first
step in getting the information you need. Here are three types of questions you can ask:
1. Closed questions can be answered with a simple yes or no or, when you are fact-
checking or seeking verification, one or two words. Closed questions follow inverted
word order and do not featme question-fom1ing words such as why, what, and how.
Can you ship our order today?
Are the new sales figures ready?
Will you attend tomorrow's meeting?
2. Open qnestions call for a fuller, more thoughtful response than Ls possihle with just a
single word.
How can we reduce production costs?
In what way will deregulation affect the industry?
Why do you support this initiative?
 4 I BUSINESS STY LE: SE NTE NCES AND PARA GR APH S

3 . Hypothetical questions ask readers to suppose that circumst.ances are different from hypothetlca I question a
what they actually are. These "what iP' scenarios are useful for brains torming and con question that poses a supposition.
tingency planning.

If you were given creative control of this project, what would you do7

A well -phrased question wi.11 elicit a useful response without putting read ers on the
defensive o r causing confusion.

IMPROVING SENTENCE CLARITY

Occasion ally, sentences may need a sharper focus for th eir exact meaning to he clear to
readers. Here are a few tips for revising fuzzy, ambib'UOUS sen tences:

1. Avoid broad references u sing this , that, and it. W hen you use this, that, and it hy
themselves, make sure th e reader fully understands what the pron ou n renames and
repl aces. Check that the pronoun reference isn 't amhibruous (i.e., that the p ronoun pronoun reference the
doesn't refer t.o more than one thing). If necessary, repeat the noun aft.er the pronoun relationship between a pronoun
and the antecedent to which
that renames it. It refers.

Vague pronoun reference: She helped to negotiate the recent settlement and this
makes her a n asset to the organization. [This can refer
to hoth the negotiations and the settlemen t.I

Clear pronoun refe rence: She helped to negotiate the recent settlement, and this
experience makes her an asset to the organization.

(See also Appendix 13, imder the heading "Using Pronouns wi.t.h Precision.")

2. Avoid embedding d ependent clauses. Put dependent clauses at the heginning or

end of a sentence, not in the middle where they can. come hetween the all-important
suhject and verh. Choppy, stop-and-go sentences formed in th.is way are difficult to
read . They can seem tangled, wi.th too much squeezed into them. Opt for more fluid
sentence patterns that mim ic natural th.ought processes.

Embedded clause: The recycling facility, although it was originally intended

for use by only one municipality, is now shared with
neighbouring townships.

Revision: Although the recycling facility was originally intended

for use by only one municipality, it is now shared with
neighbouring townships.

3. limiil multiple negatives. Multiple negatives are sometimes used for rhetorical effect
or as euphemisms (bland terms suhstitu t.ed for blun t ones), hut the range of meaning
a multiple negative may have sometimes results in con fusion.

Unclear: He was not unhappy about not failing to meet the criteria.

Clearer: He was pleased he met the criteria.

 COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS
number a term that refers to
whether aword Is singular (one) or
plural (more than one).
person a term that describes
who or what Is performing or
cxpcrtcnclng an actlon In terms of
the noun or pronoun that Is used:
nrst pm on (/, we), second Jl<lrson
(you), and third person (he, she,
It, they).
verb tense the form of averb
that shows time (past, presen~
or future).
parallelism the use of the S<Jme
grammatlcnl forms or matching
sentence structures to express
equivalent Ideas.
WRITING WITH CONSISTENCY
Observing the rules of consistency- by sticking to certain grammatical princliples and
patterns that shape your wri ting- is another good way to banL~h awkward, unreadable
sen tences. Readers like the predictability of sentences that follow through with their initial
promises by staying consistent in the rollowing ways:
1. Number. Don't switch rTOm si%'11lar t.O plural when referring to a particular thing.
Women have made considerable strides in their lnot h er) chosen fields.
2. Person. Don't shift I.he frame of reference from first person l to second person you or
third person he!.1he!one.
Before you apply for a permit, you In ot one) must show proof of Canadian citizenship
or landed immigrant status.
3. Verb tense. Show time changes on ly when logic requires them.
When the CEO entered the auditorium, the crowd applauded Inot applaud:s) wildly.
4. Voice. Don't sh ift unnecessalfily from active to passive voice.
Financial analysts expect continued growth in the third quarter but anticipate
w11akness in the tourism sedor In ot weakness in the touris m sector
is anticipated ).
WRITING BALANCED SENTENCES: PARALLEL STRUCTURE
Parallelism involves delivering similar content in a similar way. The consist.ency of a
repeated pattern helps readers absorb and rememher information more easily Balanced
constructions--mat.ching nouns with n otrns, verbs with verbs, and ph rases with p hrases--
have a rhythmic appeal that makes sentences more forceful and compelling.
Unbalanced: Britannia Capital's chief analyst proposes three strategies for debt servicing:
slowing spending, issuing equity to pay down debt, and to sell assets.
Parallel: Britannia Capital's chief analyst proposes three strategies for debt
servicing: slowing capital spending, issuing equity to pay down debt,
and selling assets. lparallel construction matches -ing nouns)
Unbalanced: We anticipate expansion into underservic;ed regions, border areas, and
markets that are located overs11as.
Parallel: We anticipate expansion into underserviced regions, border ar11as, and
overseas markets. lparallel construction matches nouns )
Un balanced: Our priorities are to improve employee morale, reduce absenteeism, and
enc;ouraging professional development.
Parallel: Our priorities are to improve employee morale, reduce absenteeism, and
enc;ourage professional development. lparallel construction matches
verb infinitives)
 4 I BUSINESS STY LE: SE NTE NCES AND PARA GR APH S

Unbalanced: To qualify for funding you must submit an application and three letters
of refenmce must also b11 provid11d. [sentence switches from active to
passive voice]

Parallel: To qualify for funding you must submit an application and provide
thr1111 l11tt11rs of r11f11renc11. [active voice is matched with active voice]

Parallel L~rn also applies to statements of comparison. It is important to halance these

construcl.ioll.S for readahllity and rhetorical force.

Unhalanced: This is a time not for restraint but boldness.

Parallel: This is a time not for restraint but for boldness.

WRITING FOR EMPHASIS

Office infom1ation is often exchanged and processed quickly, not always leaving time for
methodical word-for-word readings. Make sure your most im portant in fo rmation get.~
the attenr.ion it deserves hy adding special emphasis. Emphasis- the act of making facts emphasis In wr111ng, lhQ practice
stand out- is a matter of mechanics and style. These approaches can he used on their own of making facts and ld.ias stand out
from surrounding text.
or in comhi nation.

Use Eye-Catching Mechanical Devices, Punctuation, and Formatting

These strategies can enhance the visual appeal of the written word. The most common of
these simple strategies include

underlining
boldface
italks
modified font sizes
All CAPS

I text hoxes I
colour

Use dashes-the most emphatic of all punctuation marks- in place of commas and
paren theses whm introduci ng or enclosing facts that demand special attention. Another
way to make important details
Among the countless apps
stand o ut is to format them in available on the IPhone or IPad
horizontal. or vertical lists. These are ones designed for writing
mechanical devices are effect and editing documents. Apps
ive as lo ng as they are used in such as Doc2, Tiny Editor,
moderation. lf it is overused, the and Pages allow you to
customize fonts and colours;
device can he distracting. A mes-
use boldface, Italics, and
sage typed in all caps, for example, undertlnlng; and Insert Images,
is hard to read and "shouts" its tables, and text boxes.
infom1ation. (This heavy-handed Source: Mikdam/Dfeam.st:imt.coml
Thlnkstod<
practice is actuall y kn own as
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
shouting th<! larg<!ly unacceptable
practice of typing an <'!ntlm
massage In upparcaso latters.
s houting.) ln addition, ton many holded letters, italics, and rollt sizes and styles can make
a se rious documt:nt look crude a11d amateurish, much like a cut-and-paste ransom note.
Add Emphasis through Style
Style adaptations for emphasis require more planning but are generally worth the extra
effort in terms of their impact on readers. Techniques ror creatillg emphasL~ through style
involve three bask principles:
placement
sentence length and structure
word choice
Here is a closer look at techniques that give power t.o your wTi ting 1.h rough emphasis:
1. For maximum impact, put important facts first or last. The most emphatic, "high-
wattage" placements are first and last in a sentence. Avoid creating an "information
sandwi ch" that embeds crucial facts and details in the middle of a sentence: or para
graph where surrounding words may cloud or lessen their impact.
Unemphatic: A new deadline of March 18 has been set for all funding
applications.
Emphatic: March 18 is the new deadline for all funding applications.
Unemphatic: No one can deny that the bear market has had a substantial impact
on pension funds. [No one can deny is an empty phrase given
emphatic initial placement. The most import.ant idea, the bear
market has had a substantial impact, is slotted in the middle
where it is less noticeable.]
Emphatic: Undeniably, the bear market's impact on pension funds has been
substantial.
Generally, placing the subject word at the beginning establishes a focus for the
remainder of the sentence. Changing the subject allows you to change the int.ended
emphasis of a sentence.
Focus on ~-urvey: The survey indicated that most employees support the
adoption of staggered work hours.
Focus on e111z1loyees: Most employees support the adoption of staggered work
hours, according to the survey.
Focus on aclo11ticm: The adoption of staggered work hours is supported by
most employees, according to the survey.
2. Use short, simple sentences to spotlight key ideas. The fewer words I.here are in a
sentence, the more impact each o r its words has. A short, uncluttered sentence, con-
sisting of a single independent clause, rewards readers instantly with information.
Readers also like sirnp le sentences because the "start-with-the-subject" word
order allows information to accumulate in a way that mimics human thought pro
cesses. A short sentence after seve ral long ones has even greater impact because it
breaks the pattern and adds an element o f surprise.
 4 I BUSINESS STY LE: SE NTE NCES AND PARA GR APH S

Short and emphatic: The on-site fitness centre opens next Wednesday.

l ong and unemphatic: The on-site fitness centre opens next Wednesday, at which
time all e mployees will be invited to try out top quality
equipment that includes exercise bikes and rowing machines.

3. Use tags and labels to Oag important ideas. Simple word -markers such as most
importcmt(ly), most of all , ctbove all, particularly, o r crucially alert reade rs t.o an idea's
significance.

4. Present important ideas in list form. As previously mentioned, horizontal and verti-
cal lists give extra emphasis th rough their distinct formatting. Horizontal lisL~ that num-
ber i terns within a sentence are less emphatic than ve~t.ical lists that. tahulat.e it.ems.

The newly created Employee Integrity Website has Iinks to several vital resources:
Haskell Networks Employee Code of Conduct
professional development semi nar information
citation guides

5. Use precise and specific words to identify the main point. Avoid generalization
and obfuscation. If something is good, descrihe the way in which it is good. Specifics
are more involving b ecause they sh ow rather than tell.

Vague: The conference was good.

Specific: The conference was lively and informative.

6. Repeat key words in a series for rhe torical effect. Advertisers and marketing spe-
cialists sometimes rely on repetition t.o persuade customers of the value o f a product,
concept, or service. Because thi_~ technique can easily induce boredom instead of
acceptance, it does not necessarily work well in other, more subtle forms of writing:

Look how far we've come. We were the first Canadian company to receive the Gold
Award from the International Customer Service Association. We were among the first in
the world to introduce service breakthroughs like voice dialling, Internet access from your
cellphone, and 1Xtechnology. We simplified the prepaid world by making cellphone
minutes available at bank machines, and we simplified the banking world by facilitating
cellphone transactions. We're working hard to continue to earn your business.

Apply Opposite Rules for De-emphasis

News that is unfavourable t.o your readers or merely less significant can he de-emphasized by
applyi ng principles opposite to those used for emphasis . Here are a few simple tips to follow:

1. Use complex sentences to de-emphasize bad news. Complex sentences have a

dual advantage: their in dependen t clauses emphasize while their subordinate clauses
<le-emphasize. Capitalize on these strengths hy putting the had news in the opening
subordinate clause and using I.he independent clause that follows for helter news.

Bad news emphasized: Although the q uality of the applications has never been
higher, the number of applications is down .

Good news emphas ized: Although the number of applications is down, the
quality of the applications has never been higher.
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

2. De-emphasize unpleasant facts b y embedding them. Unfavourable information

seems less harsh and less noticeable when buried mid-sentence o r mid-paragraph .
Mid-sentence de-emphasis: Our best-selling global positioning device, though
currently out of stock, will be reissued in a new
deluxe model next month.

For Emphasis For De-emphasis

mechanical devices no mechanical devices

short sentences long sentences
simple sentences (independent clauses) complex sentences (dependent clauses)
precise, vivid words general words
labels no labels
placement first or last middle placement

APPLYING ACTIVE AND PASSIVE VOICE

The voice of a verb tells you whether a sentence's subject acts (active voice) or receives an
action (passive voice). Voice often accounts for why one message or document can sound
lively and direct, while another can seem impersonal or nat. The active voice should be
your fi rst choice for business messages, but you shm1ld also make room for legitimate uses
o f passive-voice constructions.
The active voice, a staple of good writing, is energetic, rorceful, and direct. ln the
active voice, the question o f "whodunit" L~ always clear because I.he grammatical sub-
ject "acts" by performing the action of the sentence: The supervisor [ACTOR! approved
[ACTION] the change.~ [RECEIVER]. Use the act.ive voice in the following situations:

1. To state good and neutral news clearly and directly. Ily comparL~on , the passive
voice can result in awkward, convolmed constructions.
Active: John completed his expense report before the April 1 deadline.

Passive: John's expense report was completed by John before the April 1 deadline.

2. To emphasize the doer of an action. The active voice tells the reader in no uncertain
terms where actions originat-e and who is responsible for them.

Active: Belinda authorized the purchase.

Passive: The purchase was authorized (by Belinda).

The passive voice is less vigorous and fo rthright. To some readers, it sounds nat,
weak, and evasive because it is not always clear who or what perrom1s the action of
the sen tence, only that t.he action is done to the suhj ect. Passive constructions invert
the order of the active voice: The changes [RECEIVER] wm: approved [ACTION] by the
 4 I BUSINESS STY LE: SE NTE NCES AND PARA GR APH S

~-upervisor [ACTOR). Emphasis falls on the action itself, not on who o r what pe rforms
it. look for three common elements t.o check for passive constructions:

the verb TO BE (am, is, are, was, were, be, bflfln) +past participle + by . . .

The term institutional passive refers to the practice of concealing the performer
of an action (by omitting the word or words afte r by). Use the passive voice in the
following situations:

1. To conceal the doer of an action whe n that information is unimportant,

unknown , or harmful. The active voice assigns responsihility for act.ions; the passive
voice does not. In certain cases, however, such an omission can seem evasive or even
dishonest. The passive voice should not be used in a blatant attempt to cover up facts,
weasel out of agreements, or mani pulate readers.
Active: The executive committee delivered the development plan on schedule.
Passive: The development plan was delivered on schedule.

2. To de-emphasize negative news. The passive voice depersonalizes sentences by tak-

ing people and personalities, as expressed through names and personal pronouns, out
of the picture. It is therefore useful in situations whe~e you need to soften negatives or
avoid accusations. The passive voice puts the emphasis matter-of-factly m1 a refusal or
denial, not on the individual(s) responsihle for that decision.
Active: We cannot release specific salary information.
Passive: Specific salary information cannot be released.

3. To sl10w tact and sensitivity. The passive voice is one of many "politeness strategies"
in husiness writing. Its natural "weakness" is an alternative to the bluntness of the
active voice and allows you to pass on lnfom1at.ion without. allocating hlame, finding
fault, or making readers feel needlessly singled out.
Active: You must return all materials to the resource centre.
Passive: All materials must be returned to the resource centre.

4. To reduce intrusive first-person pronouns. Writing in the passive voice is a way of

avoiding the egotism o r the active voice and eliminating its multiple I's and personal
pronouns. The passive voice is appropri ate when it is already clear from the context
that you are responsihlt: for an action. Use this techn.ique sparingly.
Active: I based this study on extensive market research.
Passive: This study is based on extensive market research.

The passive voice in this case allows you to emph asize the study rather than who
authored it.

5. To maintain consistency nr avoid awkward s hHts in focus. Stick with the passive
voice if a shift to the active voice results in awkward11ess.

Active: When the new shipment arrived, the sales associates unpacked it.

Passive: When the new shipment arrived, it was unpacked by the sales associates.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

Diagnostic grammar-c hecking so rtware is programmed to nag passive-voice

constructions, hut keep in min d that not all instances of the passive voice mah for
ineffective writing.

Use the Active Voice to Use the Passive Voice to

state good/neutral news clearly de-emphasize negative news

be direct show tact and sensitivity
emphasize the doer of an action de-emphasize or conceal the doer of an action

ELIMINATING GRAMMAR ERRORS AND AWKWARDNESS

Sen tence errors detract from the professionalism of your messages and reduce readers'
confidence in what you have to say. Writing under pressure can increase the lhkelihood
that errors will occur, but recognizing the types o r errors you tend to make is the first line
of defence against a finished product that fails to com municate thoughts and ideas in the
way you int.ended. Here is a guide 1.0 some of the most common grammatical errors:

1. Sentence fragments. Phrases or dependent clauses punctuated like complete

sentence fragment a portion of
a sentence that Is punctuated like
a complete sentence but does not
deliver full meaning.
fused sentence (or run-on)
two or more Independent clauses
erroneously run together w1thout
the use of required punctuation or
coordinating conjunctions.
sent.ences--called sentence fragments-create ambiguity and d is tortion. To detect
them easily, work backward, proofreading from last sentence to first in orde r to separ-
ate the fragment from the brrammatical unit that completes it.
Fragment: We will discuss the Orkin account. Which has bean experiencing
problems lately. [relative clause punctuated as a complete sentence!
Revision: We will discuss the Orkin account, which has been experiencing
problems lately.
Fragment: Sales figures for the year were strong. Even though there was weakness
in the third quarter. [subord inate clause punctuated as a complete
sent.encel
Revision: Sales figures for the year were strong even though there was weakness
in the third quarter.
Fragment: The company has experienced numerous setbacks. For example, the
failure of its light industrial division. [The example cannot stand on
its own as a sentence.]
Revision: The company has experienced numerous setbacks- for example, the
failure of its light industrial division.
2. Run-on (fused) sentences. Run-ons, or fused sentences, are marathon sentences
that comhi ne two or more independent clauses without an adequate foll stop (semi-
colon or pe riod) or conn ecting element (comma and conjunction). To put a stop to
the run-on , opt for one o f these forms of correction:
 4 I BUSINESS STY LE: SE NTE NCES AND PARA GR APH S

Run-on: Most companies reported moderate growth this year some anticipate
similar growth next year.

Revision: Most companies reported moderate growth this year, and some
anticipate similar growth next year.
Revision: Most companies reported moderate growth this year. Some anticipate
similar growth next year.

3. Comma splices. In a comma splice, ind ependent clauses are st.rung together with comma splice the error of
nothing more than a comma to separate them. To eliminate the splice, add a conjunc connecting two Independent
clauses with a comma.
tion or change the comma to a period or sem icolon.

Comma splice: I decided against purchasing an extended warranty, however

when my credit card statement arrived this month I noticed an
extra $149 charge from Info Service, Inc.
Revision: I decided against purchasing an extended warranty; however,
when my credit card statement arrived this month, I noticed an
extra S149 charge from Info Service, Inc.

4. Misplaced modifiers. A modifier is a word or word group that d escribes another modifier a word or group of
word or words. Modifiers that end up where they do not belong can he unintention words that describes or gives more
Information about another word In
ally funny and make your meaning ambiguous. To eliminate the misp laced modifier a sentence.
and its poten tial for embarrassmen t, position modifiers as close as possible to the
word or words they describe. Do this hy asking yourself what goes with what. misplaced modifier an
Incorrectly placed descriptive word
Misplaced modifier: The changes in personnel taking place recently affected or phrase that anachcs Its meaning
Illogically to another word In
productivity. [Jn this case, recently could refer to the changes a sentence.
in personnel or when those changes affected productivity.]
Revis ion: Recent personnel changes affected productivity.
Revision: Changes in personnel recently affected productivity.

5. Dangling modifiers. A phrase is said to dangle wh en its descriptive words do not

clearly apply to another word in the sentence. This problem often occurs with intro
ductory verbal ph rases contai ning a past participle (infom1ed). an infini tive (to inform) ,
or a present participle (informing) hut no subj ect. Verhal phrases can enhance the fl ow
of your writing, hut to use them effectively. make sure the subject being described in
the introd uctory phrase comes immediately aft.er th e phrase itsel f. Otherwise, convert
the dangling phrase into a d ependent clause using th e technjque shown in the second
revision below.

Dangling phrase: Sent by overnight courier, you will receive your package by 9:00
a.m. the next day. [This sentence says you arr sent by overnight
c:ourier.)

Revision: Sent by overnight courier, your package will arrive by 9:00 a.m.
the next day.

Revision: When a package is sent by overnight courier, you will receive it

by 9:00 a.m. the next day. [In this case, t.he dangling phrase
has been conve rted to an in itial dependen t clause.I
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
dangling modifier a phrase that
docs not clearly apply to another
word In the scntoncc.
elliptical construction a
sentence structure that deliberately
omits words that can be Inferred
from the context.
faulty predication an error
Involving the Illogical combination
of subject and verb.
Tolerance for dangling modifiers L~ sometimes h igher in e-mail communication,
as long as a message is st.ill u nd erstand ahl e. The more formal the document, the less
excusable dangling modifie rs are. Sometimes a dangling modifier results from misuse
of th e passive voice, as in the following example:
Dangling phrase: To qualify for our points program, your mother's maiden name
must be provided. [Th is sentence says your mother's maiden
name will qualify for the program. ]
Revision: To qualify for our points program, you must provide your
mother's maiden name.
Revision: To qualify for our points program, please provide your
mother's maiden name.
6. Elliptical constructions. Ellip~is means "omission." An elliptical construction leaves
out words that have already appeared in a sen tence hecause their meaning is inferred
from the context: Private-sector administrators t:amed on average $80,000 a year, their
public-sector counterparts significantly less. Don't automatically assume that a word
appearing elsewhere in the sentence wi ll st.and in for I.he omitted word in the elliptical
construction. The implied word has to he exactly the same as the one already used for
the construct.ion to he correct:
Word omitted: The new treatment was intended and administered to patients
who had not responded to conventional therapies.
Word added: The new treatment was intended for and administered to
patients who had not responded to conventional therapies.
7. Faulty predication and mixed constructions. Mixed -construction sentrnces pair
mismatched elemen ts that do not logically fi t together an d must he untangled in
order to make sense. In a sentence with faulty predication, there is sometlmes an
illogical pairing of suhject and verh.
Faulty predication: The solution to th is problem was remedied when Johnson
proposed a splitting of company stock. [Solutions don't need
to he remedied, hi1t prohlems do .)
Revision: Th is problem was remedied when Johnson proposed a
splitting of company stock.
[iS"When or is where combination I
To Rx a sentence featuring an is when or is wh1:re construction, drop when or where,
add a classifying word, or substitute another verb for the verh to be:
Faulty predication: Direct channel is when you sell and distribute products
d irectly to customers.
Revision: Direct channel is a marketing term for selling and distributing
products directly to customers.
 4 I BUSINESS STY LE: SENTENCES AND PARA GR APH S

Revision: Direct channel refers to sell ing and distributing products

directly to customers.

Reason ... is because combination I

The expression the reason ... is because is redundant (akin to saying because ...
bt:caiUse); replace it with the n:ason is that:
Faulty predication: The reason he can't travel overseas is because he has family
obligations.

Revision: The reason he can't travel overseas is that he has

family obligations.

Revision: He can't travel overseas because he has family obligations.

ln a sentence of mixed construction, the sentence starts in one grammatical form, mixed construction tha
then. shifts to another. Comm on culp ri ts in mixed construction sentences are intro error of palrln9 mismatched
grammatical structures In the same
ductory phrases such as the following:
sentence. resultlng In unclear or
Illogical meaning.
I The fact that I
Mixed construction: The fact that more job seekers submit t heir resumes
electronically than they do by more t raditional methods.

Revision: The fact is that more job seekers submit their resumes
electronically than they do by more t raditional methods.

Revision: More job seekers submit their resumes electronically tha n

they do by more traditional methods. [drops trouhlesome
opening ph rase]

I An illogical 511nt11nc11 subject I

Sen tences sometimes feature an illogical sentence subject:

Mixed construction: By reviewing job performance on a semi-annual basis was

how we aimed to increase prod uctivity. [By reviewing cannot
be the subj ect o f a sentence. The same applies r.o any
phrase made up o f a preposition and an -ing verhal.]

Revision: By reviewing job performance on a semi-annual basis, we

aimed to increase productivity.

Revision: Reviewing job performance on a semi-annual basis was aimed

at increasing productivity.
 CO M M U N I C ATI N G FOR RESU LTS
paragraph a group of scntcncas
that developsone main Idea.
Cl Does each sentence express a complete thought?
Cl Is every sentence clear and grammatically complete? Does it have a complete verb
and a subject?
Cl Does your style reflect variety- a mix of sentence types and lengths suited to
your purpose?
Cl Have you used parallelism effed ively7
Cl Have you created emphasis? Do important idea s get the notice they deserve?
Cl Are most of your sentences in the active voice? Have you used the passive
voice legit imately?
Cl Is every sentence error-free? Have you eliminat ed run-ans, comma splices,
faulty predication, mixed const ru ct ions, confusing shifts, and dangling and
misplaced modifiers?
Effective Paragraphs
A paragraph is a unit of meaningful thought, a group of sentences that introduces a sub-
ject and makes one or more points about it. Paragraphs are the building blocks of effective
writing- tidy infom1at.ion packages held together by a cont.rolling idea and a clear sense
o r development. The white space that separates paragraphs alerL~ the reader to a change
in subject, paving the way for new ideas and mapping out infom1ation so it L~ easier to
understand and remember.
PARAGRAPH LENGTH
There is no ideal paragraph length. The length is regulated by what you need to say and
how you need t.o say it. For most types of husiness messages, though, short paragrnphs are
usually best because they promise easier readjng and retention. long, ove rloaded para-
graphs fom1 uninviting hlocks of text that are visually intimidating. A series of them, just
by their dense appearance, can lessen readers' receptivity even hefore they hegin t.o read.
A well -constnu:ted message usually relies on a natural mix of paragraph lengths.
Therefore, choose From a range of short, moderate, and long paragraphs t.o match your
purpose and support your content:
Single-sentence paragraphs (or paragraphs of up to two sentences) are common
message openers and closers. Brief and serviceable, they are also useful for lending
emphasis to especially important facts or ideas and have a special place in e-mail. A
series of single-sentence paragraphs, however, can he mistaken for point form, rob-
bing your message of cohere11ce and development.
Short paragraphs of up to five or six sentences (or eight lines of text) are standard in
most types of husiness mes.~ages.
l ong paragraphs of up to eight sentences helong in reports, where t.he complexity of
the material merits full and thorough development. Beyond t.he eight-sentence limit,
consider regrouping sentences into smaller, more manageahle units.
 4 I BUSINESS STY LE: SE NTE NCES A N D PARAGRAP HS

TOPIC SENTENCES
Most paragraphs-not just ones with complicated informal.ion to pass on- henefit from
having a topic sentence. A topic sentence, usually the fir.st sentence, announces I.he para topic sentence a sentence that
graph's purpose. lt previews the paragraph so readers can decide on the relevance and use- summarizes the main Idea In
a paragraph.
fulness of what follows. Documents that feature topic sentences are easy to scan hecause
the most important infom1at.ion is front-loaded into each hl ock of text.
Placed at the beginning, the controlling idea also prevents paragraph sprawl and helps
maintain focus. Once it is clear that a sentence in the grouping is no longer related t.o the
first one, it Ls time to start a new paragraph.

However substantial, the rights of authors to receive compensation for their efforts
are limited by the doctrine offair use. According to law, fair use gives writers a limited
right to use brief sections of copyrighted material without asking for permission. For
instance, quoting a single sentence from a
magazine article is considered fair use, whereas
quoting a page or more is not.

Topic sentences are recommended for para-

graphs that define, describe, classify, or illustrat.e.l
They are less suited to paragraphs t.hat reveal
bad news, where it is import.ant to first establish
a rationale or justification for a negative decL~ion.
Revealing the bad news first risks alienating read -
Visit the University of Ottawa's Writing
Centre website for t ips and exerci ses on
writing topic sentences and effect ive
parag raphs: http://goo.g l/SQ9zp.

ers, who are less Likely to accept unexpected and

imwelcome news. In paragraphs of comparison
or persuasive purpose, the topic sentence may
he delayed or emhedded to allow for an opening
statement of contrast or concession.

PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT
A paragraphs form depends on how you develop the main idea introduced at the begin-
ning. Typically, your purpose may be to do one of the following:

describe a chronological sequence of events

compare or contrast one idea with another
evaluate causes o r relate them to effects
analyze a topic or offer a solution to a problem
classify the parL~ of a whole
illustrate an idea or support a claim with examples/data
define terms

Identifying your subject and purpose are the first steps in writing a clear, effective
paragraph. While it may not be possible to get your whole message across in a single para
graph , these met.hods of development can be sustained 011er as many paragraphs as it takes
to accomplish your purpose thoroughly.
All except the shortest paragraphs of one or two sent.ences require supporting sen
tences that explain and amplify. A typical paragraph should follow a logical pattern that
builds and expands on the topic sentence in a relevant aDd meaningful way.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
coherence the logical and
semanttc links between sentences.
transitional expressions words
and phrases that show logical,
temporal, and spattal relationships
and connect Ideas
to create coherenc<l.
PARAGRAPH COHERENCE
Good now"- the free and continuous movement of sentences from one to the next- is
a quality many writers strive for. Flow is really a matter of coherence, the logical and
semantic links between sentences. ln other words, the sentences in a grnup have to make
sense in sequence and sound as though they belong together. Coherence is lost. when
logical gaps and unrelated sentences appear within a paragraph. Lack of now is tolerated
only in very short e-mail messages. To make your sentences fit together seamlessly, focus
on linking and bridging techniques that enable you to b'l1ide your readers through a para-
graph from bebrinning to end.
Creating Logical Coherence
Develop a paragraph game plan: know your line of reasoning and order your ideas
accordingly. Anticipate where your sentences will lead and what reade rs will expect next..
Consider if a sentence is meant to show a cause-and-effect relationship or consequence.
Despite an increase in revenue, the company showed a decline in profit.
The climactic order of this senr.ence leads to 1.he main idea-decline in profi.t- at the
end. lf the paragraph were to continue, the next sentence, according to logic, would offer
reasons for the decline or a statement of its degree.
Creating Coherence through Word Choice
Fluid, unified writing is easily achieved through a few simple techniques.
1. Carry over a topic from sentence to sentence. To prevent redundancy, use syno-
nyms to stand in for the sentence subject or put a phrase or clause in front of the
sentence subject to reduce its impact. An especially effective technique is to connect
an idea at the end of one sentence to an idea at the beginning of the next.
2. Use pronouns to carry over a thought from a previous sentence. For clarity,
combine this, that, these, and those with 1.he si ngle word to which each refeTs. Other
prnnouns, such as some, they, and it, can be used alone when they clearly refer to
the nouns they replace. The following paragraph combines met.hods l and 2 to
improve coherence:
Their company offers an outstanding flexible payment plan. This plan permits deferred
payments of up to two years. Its payment schedule can be customized to suit the needs
of individual clients. Customers can choose from a range of payment options. Some
may even decide to make their payments online with just a few simple keystrokes.
3. Use transitional words and phrases to segue from sentence to sentence. Because
transitional expressions show logical, temporal, and spatial relationships, they act
as help ful signposts, preparing readers for what comes next and b'lliding them with
precision through the twists and turns of yoi1r train of thought. For every rdationship-
contrast, contrndiction, consequence, development, illustration, concession , conclu-
sion- there are expression.~ that reinforce that particular meaning. Some are more
workable than others, so choose the word or phrase that fits the exact context. Use them
in moderation as aids to comprehension instead of predictable and unwelcome distrac-
tions rrom your message. Adding them where they don't belong can lead to gaffes in
logic and odd non sequiturs. Transitional expressions can play a number of roles:
 4 I BUS I NE SS STYLE : SENTEN CES AND PARA GRAPH S

To add a point
also, and, as well, besides, for the same reason, furthermore, in addition, likewise,
moreover, similarly

To illustrate
for example, for instance, in fact, in particular, namely, to be specific
To show cause and effect (or ei.-plain a previous point)
as a result, because, in this way, in view of, since

To show contrast or reversal

although, at the same time, but, by contrast, conversely, despite, however, in contrast,
in spite of, instead, nonetheless, on the contrary, on the other hand, still, whereas, while

To show similarity
in the same way, likewise, similarly

To summarize or conclude
accordingly, consequently, for this reason, hence, in short, so, therefore, thus

To concede a point
certainly, granted, naturally, of course

To slrnw time sequence

at this point, concurrently, currently, during, finally, first, last, meanwhile, now, second,
then, third, to begin

The followi ng paragraph b ighlighL~ some of these trans itional expressions:

Once a drug patent expires, generic competitors usually introduce copies that retail at a
fraction of the price, meaning that brand-name manufacturers' share prices can be hit
hard. For example, Biotex Corp. has declined from over USSSS a share in early 2001 to less
than US$20 recently because its patent on the blood pressure drug Ambutroxin expired
last May. Altogether, patents on brand-name drugs with about US$40 billion a year in sales
will expire over the next three years. As a result, even fund managers have trouble picking
pharmaceutical stock.

O Is your paragraph clear and intelligible on the first reading?

O Is there only one main idea per paragraph?
0 Have you combined related short paragraphs and subdivided long ones covering
multiple topics?
0 Have you included a topic sentence where it is required? Is it supported by sufficient
detail?
O Do your sentences show clear relationships among ideas? Have you clustered related
points? Is there logical development from one sentence to the next throughout the
paragraph?
O Are paragraphs arranged coherently? Is there logical development throughout the
entire document?
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
proofreading a process of
checking the final copy of
adocument for error~ and
Inconsistencies.
format a term for th~ parts of the
document and the way they are
arranged on a page.
The Writing Center at the University of
Wisconsin- Madison gives additional
guidelines for proofreading: http://goo.
gl/OBJvM.
Lynn Truss, author of Eats,
Shoots & Leaves: The Ztro
Tolerance Approach to
Punctuation, points out an
error In an edition of the
Toronto Star.
Source: Mlchae:I Stuporyk/GotStock.com
Proofreading
Accurate documents are ones that writers have taken the trouhle to read and review. lt
is important to get in t.he hahit of proofreading messages hefore sending them, even if it
means just casting your eye over a quick e-mail on-screen or a prin tout of a routine mes
sage. Effective proofreading is reading with a difference. ll involves reducing yom reading
speed, reading word fo r word, and gaining the ohjectivity you need to spot errors hefore
they cause you emharrassment. The point is to read what is actually written on th.e page or
screen, not what you think you have written. To give you the objectivity you need to read
impartially and analytically, it always helps to have a "cooling period" between the com-
posing and proofreading steps- as liule as a few seconds for a hrief e-mail o r consider-
ahly longer for a formal report. tr a careful, silent reading isn't enough lo hel p you catch
all your errors, try reading your messages aloud or even taping yourself as you read. The
time and enerb'Y you devote to proofreading depends on the length and importance of the
document. lt may he necessary to make several passes over an especially significant doLu
mentor message, each time reading for two or three potential problems:
Accuracy of names, facts , and figures:
Douhle-check important facL~ for accuracy;
compare figures with source material to elim-
inate typographical errors; transcribe names
and addresses correctly.
Appropriateness of format: View page-layout
options or print a document t.o see if lt appears
balanced and uncluttered and con forms to
style guidelines.
Correctness of grammar: Use the sentences
checklist on page 116. Remem ber tl1at diag
nostic software often nags passive-voice con-
structio ns, sometimes unnecessarily. lt may
also underscore clauses heglnning wir.h that or
which. Try suhstitut.i ng one for t.he other until
the prohlem co rrects itself. Consult Appendix
B for more on grammar and usage.
Spelling: Spell-checking software is good hut
nowhere near perfect. lt may not always detect
errors in usage, such as the transposition of
com monly confused wo rds (accepted/excepted).
lt may also flag proper (i.e., Canadian, British,
or American) nouns that are spelled correctly.
Choose t.he proper spelling sett.ing so words
spelled correctly (chequt:!ch1:cl1) won't he nag-
ged unn ecessarily.
Punctuation: Follow the basic rules o f comma
usage and watch for misplaced terminal punc-
tuation responsible for sentence fragments.
 4 I BUS I NE SS STYLE : SENTEN CES AND PARA GRAPH S

For effective sentences and paragraphs, practise these guidelines:

D Follow standard sentence structure.
D Aim for a natural mix of sentence styles and lengths matched to your purpose.
D Use parallelism and other techniques to write with consistency.
0 Emp!hasize important facts and ideas with visual devices, punctuation marks, and the
order of words and phrases.
0 Stay in the active voice as much as possible.
D Elimi nate grammar errors and awkward constructions.
D Limit paragraph length.
D Rely on coherence-building techniques that show relationships between ideas.
D Develop proofreading strategies for different kinds of messages and documents.

WORKSHOPS AND DISCUSSION FORUMS

Grammu-Checking Software: Help or Hindrance? The
following message contains multiple faults and errors.
Working together in a i,rroup, Oag and count the total nllm
her of errors, then correct them to improve the messages
overall accuracy and precision. Once you are satL~fied with
the fi nished product, retype the original and your revision
on a computer equipped with grammar and spell-check-
ing software. What errors did you miss that the software
has flagged? Has the software inadvertently lahelled cor
rect usage as incorrect? Discuss how usefu l d iagnostic soft-
ware can he in improving your wii ting pro ficiency.
During the last several months. Our company, after we
undertook extensive market research and considered
many different diversification options, had a new
gourmet food category launched. The reason we are
embarking on this new cross-merchandising venture is
because the annual turn rate for food is far above the
industry average of two times a year.
Wanting you to attend an information session and
see the new line of products, the information session
will be next Monday from 7:00 in the eveni ng to 9:30
at our downtown location. Come and sample such
delicacies as caribou pate, pepper jelly, chi li-infused olive
oil, and cherries that have been infused with amaretto.
From several gourmet food purveyors, we will have
representatives on hand to answer questions about their
products. A product and price list on line.
 COM M UNICATING FOR RESULTS
WRITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES
Rccogttite tl1e Building Bloclis of Sc11tct1ces
1. Building Sentences. Combine each list of words to
create a l<>gical sentence, inserting punctuation where
necessary.
a) turned
into
the merger
two companies with two specialty channels each
one company with four
b) studied
business school
Connie
the
risk management
CFO
at
Improve Sentence Variety by Matching Sc11tc11ce
Stylr and Length to Purpose
2. Improving Sentence Variety. Revise the following
paragraphs by varying the sentence structu re and
reducing the prominence of personal pronouns.
a) I joined R.H. Rayburn's marketing team in 1997. I
provide marketing information for companies that
make consumer-packaged goods. I have had several
responsibilities. I collected point-of-sale data from
stores, analyzed the data, and then passed the infor-
mation on to corporate clients. I have learned that
employees are key to strong revenue growth.
b) We ma intain an ongoing relationship with our cli-
ents. We train one or two client staff members. They
train the rest of the staff. They provide immedi-
ate on-site assistance on routine matters. They
can contact us when they need help with more
complicated matters.
Pltrnsc Basic Types of Questions Effectively
3. Recognizing Types of Questions. Identify 1he follow-
ing questions according to type: open, closed, or
hypothetical.
a) llow must we improve our product so that it
meets CSA specifications?
b) lf we were to improve our product, what modifi-
cations would you suggest?
c) Will CSA approve our newest model hefore pro-
duction is scheduled to begin?
d) ln what way is our competito r's product hett.er
than ou r own?
e) How many similar products has CSA approved in
the pa.~1 five years?
f) Have you considered seeking approval from
UnderwriLerl; LahoraLories in Lhe United States?
4 . Asking Questions. lmagme that you are a Learn mem
her who must do research for an upcoming repon.
With your research task 80 per cent complete, you
must make an unscheduled out-of-Lown business
trip related to another high priority project, leav-
ing you no lime t.n complete the research as prom-
ised. Draft several types of questions-closed, open,
and hypo1he1ical- 1n determine the hest way t.o ask
your fellow team memhers to help you comple1e
your research.
lmprovt Senttttet Clarity
S. Improving Sentence Clarity. In the following senten
ces, correct problems such as vague pronoun refer-
ence, embedded dependent clauses, and multiple
negatives that interfere with clarity.
a) The proposed changes, while they do 1101 enlirely
solve our personnel shortage, will help t.o
improve morale.
b) We do not douht that harrowing from home
equity 1s not an unrealistic way for seniors lo
source extra cash.
c) Counney is familiar with debt-reduction initia
tives. Thal is her primary focus.
d) The committee recommended the adoption
of a cost-cutting plan , hut this has not heen
impleme nled.
e) The plan, whe n he first ope ned his doors six
years ago, was tn, in part, pitch their services 10
small businesses.
Use Parallelism and Otl1er Tecltnlques to \Vrite
witlt Comisttncy artd In111act
6. Parallelism: Writing Balanced Sentences. Revise the
following sentences to improve parallel structure.
 4 I BUSINESS STY LE: SENTENCES ANO PARAGRAPHS
Sample: I believe that employee satisfaction drives
client satisfaction, which the satisfaction
of shareholders is in turn driven by.
Revision: I believe that employee satisfaction drives
client satisfaction, which in turn drives
shareholder satisfaction.
a) RenovaLing our currenL location is less expensive
than Lo huy or renL a new propeny.
b) Japanese and Korean carmakers are gaining in
every market segment with products that offeT
reliahllity, performance, designs that are alluring,
and prices tha1 are compe1itive.
c) Fahiola Cor1ez, of our R&:D division, will now
head our Regina facility ; and our head offke in
Toronto wil l now he managed hy Lu Huang, for-
mer chief of our consulting depa rtment.
d) Good security is based on a comhina1.ion of 1.h ree
I ypes of ident ifyi ng infom1ation: something you
know, usual ly a password or PTN; something
you htve, such as a pfastic card, key, or security
token; and what you h;1ve on your person.
) Most hiometric systems are expensive to huy and
using Lhem is awkward.
f) A radio spol will air contest details, where pro-
motional events \viii he held, and what products
are new.
E11111ltaSitt Imt>ottanc Facts and ldtas; Minimizt
Less Important Ones
7. Writing with Emphasis. Assess the following
sentences.
a) Which sentence is more emphatic?
i. Our hanking services are good for youT
business.
ii. We offer highly compe1i tive commercial rates
and 24-hour onli ne services Lo meet all yoUT
huslness needs.
b) Which sent.ence is more emphatic?
I. We re<luced invenwry hy 40 per ce nt.
ii. We red uced inventory suhs1an1.ially.
c) Which smtence is more em phatic?
i. Alberta's workforce L~ smalle r than Ontario's
ii. Alberta's wo rkforce is hair 1.h e size of Ontario's.
d) Which sentence is more emphatic:?
i. His supervisor was able to take decisive
action.
ii. Hts supervisor acted decisively.
) Which sentence puts more emphasis on the date
of the meeting?
i. On AU!;,'USL JO, a meeting will he held to dis-
cuss stock opuons.
ii. A meeung wtll he held on August 30 to dis-
cuss stock opuons.
f ) Which sentence places more emphasis on risk
management?
i. Risk management 1s a primary concern for
investors.
ii. Investors are primarily concerned ahout risk
management, although other concerns may
enter ln10 1heir choice of funds.
g) Which sentence de-emphasizes the joh refusal?
i. We Siled this position months ago. Our com-
pany cannol offer you em ployment at this time.
ii. Although oL!r co mpany can not make an offer
o f employment at 1his I ime, we wish yoLl suc-
cess in your future career.
8. Adding Emphasis. Revise the follow ing sentences to
emphasize key facts and concepts.
a) Emphasize the date:
The deadline is March .'H for requesting transfers
to the Toronto sales office.
b) Emphasize indiVJdual depanmenL~:
Three departments, namely Marketing, Sales, and
Distribution, are participaung m the pilot project.
c) Emphasize the appointee:
Our current operations manager, J ohn O'Reilly,
will now head up our Montreal office.
Disti11guislt bttwun Active and Pa.~~lvt: Volu
9. Using th Activ Voic. Conven the following senten-
ces Lo the active voice. Add suhject words if necessary.
Sample: Substantial career rewards are provided
by this challenging position.
Revision: This challenging position provides
substantial career rewards.
a) It was fOLmd hy the comm iltee 1ha1 proAts had
been affected hy the new industry b"l.lidelines.
b) Cred it derivat ives are used hy hanks to ofnoad
troubled loans.
c) The pack is led by heavy-parts manufacturers
who show innovation.
d) A recommendation was made that all advertising
and promotion must he handled hy senior mar-
keting specialists.
 COMMUNICATI N G FOR RESULTS

) After approval was sought, the new sue was Sample: Her co-worker told her on the first day no
approved by city building inspectors. one eats in the cafeteria.
f) Your personal information is nol sold or other- Revision: On the first day, her co-worker told her no
wise marketed to third panies. one eats in the cafeteria.
10. Using the Passive Voice. Conver1 Ihe following sen-
a) A sh ipment was forwarded from the warehouse
tences to 1he passive voice. Decide whether 10 omit
Lhat cost more 1han $12,000.
the doer of the action.
b) Mouse pads were given to conventioneers featur-
Sample: Last year, the township issued an advisory ing the company logo.
on the illegal disposal of yard waste. c) The computer was returned to the manufacturer
Revision : Last year, an advisory was issued on the that was defective.
illegal disposal of yard waste. d) To apply for 1h1s position, an updated resume and
the names of three referees must be submitted.
a) When the hiring committee has concluded its
e) Outsourcing its printing jobs, substan1ial
search, we will notify you.
amounts of money were saved by the company.
b) Tiffany over-budgeted for the team -building
f) Complain1s from customers must be taken ser-
retreat in Muskoka.
iously by all sales associates, regardless of thei r
c) If yo u do not remit your full 1.em1 premium hy
triviality.
Ju ly 2 5, we will cancel your Ins urance coverage.
13. Eliminating Mixed Constructions, Faulty Predication,
d) Marjorie, Tom Chrysler's assistl.lnt, has resched-
and Over-Coordination. Corr ect the followi ng
uled tomorrow's meeting Lo Friday.
sentences.
) We have added the following exclusions lo your
policy. Sample: One reason spam e-mail is unpopular is
because most people find it time-wasting.
Eliminate Sentence Errors that Impair Clarity Revision: One reason spam e-mail is unpopular is
and Unity that most people find it time-wasting.
11 . Eliminating Sentence Fragments and Run-Ons. Fix
a) The purpose of I he program was es1ab lished to
fragments, comma splices, and run-ons in the follow-
reduce job dissatisfac1ion.
ing senten ces.
b) When 1he demand fo r industrial goods increased
Sample: Our new line of hi gh-resolu tion copiers is was an Indication to expand our operatio n.
affordably priced it will be Introduced in c) We look forward to speaking with you and you'll
the fall. find additiona l infomialion in the enclosed
Revision : Our new line of high-resolution copiers is booklet.
affordably priced. It will be introduced in d) We're proud of our services and you should call
the fall. when you need help.
e) The mam reason that supervisors are concerned
a) All our branches have extended hours, some even
that staff members consider the request to be an
offer weekend banking.
invasion of privacy.
b) Before the Internet was developed and before it
bega n to have such an im pact on marht research.
One of the most effective techniques for building
Develop Logiral, Coherent, and Focused
Paragraphs
mailing lists was sweepstakes.
14. Adjusting Paragraph Length. Revise the fo llow-
c) The president and CEO embarked on a spending
ing memo by dividing it into several manageable
spree. Resulting in a higher debt load.
paragraphs.
12. Correcting Misplaced and Dangling Modifiers.
Correct dangling and misplaced modifiers m the fol- Please answer the questions below about the possibility
lowing sentences. of instituting an in-house daycare at Resource
 4 I BUSINES S STY LE: SENTE NCES AND PARA GR APH S
Management Plus. Many employees and some managers
have inquired about the possibility of providing
company-sponsored daycare services on the premises.
In my opinion, on-site facilities, similar to the recently
opened fitness centre, increase job productivity, morale,
and job satisfaction. Employees are at ease knowing
their toddlers and preschoolers are close at hand and
well cared for in a fully accredited and supervised facility.
They enjoy the convenience of dropping off and picking
up their children with no additional commuting time.
On the other hand, an on-site daycare facility might be a
distraction from business. Your answers to the following
questions will help us make an informed decision on
the issue.
1s. Paragraph Coherence: Using Transitional Expressions.
Add transitional words and phrases to im prove the
coherence of the following paragraphs.
a) Our Small Parts Division needs to improve its qual-
ity control. Complaints so far have been few. Spot
inspections revealed serious defects that could have
an impact on long-term contracts and result in legal
I iability. We need to hire more quality control speciaC-
i sts. We need to foster better work habits.
b) We will soon introduce a new procedure that will
allow us to project resource costs more accurately.
Team members will be required to complete weekly
r
l ONLINE ACTIVITIES
Recognize the Building Bloclis and Types of
Sentences
1. Recognizing Dependent Clauses and Types of
Sentences. Before you try thjs interactive quiz from
Capital Community College, click on the link for a
review of dependent clauses. Then , go hack to the
quiz and make your choice for each question. You
wi ll receive immediate feedhack on the accuracy of
your answer.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/
quiz;zes/ruu/niu5.htm
2. Understanding Sentence Structure. Visit the
HyperGrammar site t.o sharpen your skills in identi
fying different types of sentences.
time sheets and submit them to the project manager.
The time sheets will be used to update the forecasts.
A monthly, consolidated report will be presented to
the directors for review. The new procedure will not
improve efficiency immediately. It will allow us to take
advantage of current methods in project management.
16. Paragraph Coherence: Identifying Transitional
Expressions. In a newspaper, magazine, or trade-
rt:lated publication, find a sample passage o r approxi-
mately two hundred words and make a photocopy.
Highlight and list the transitional expressions used .
Would the article st.ill make sense wir.h the transi
tional expressions removed? Why or why not?
Apply Strategies for Proofreading Diffe-rent Kinds
of Messages
17. Proofreading Checklist: Correcting Sentence Errors.
Draft a lis t of your ten most frequt'llt writing errors
(look for feedback on you r previously graded assign-
ments). Before handing in your next th ree messages
or assignments, refer to your customizt:d checklist as
you proofread. When your graded assignmenL~ are
returned to you, see if using a checklist has helped
you achieve greater writing proficiency. Work toward
the goal of gradually reducing the numher of i.tems
on your list.
www.arrs.uottawa.ca/writcent/hypergTmmnar/
rvsntstr.html
Use Parallelism to Write with Consistency and
Impact
3. Parallel Structure: Writing Balanced Sentnces. Try t.he
Big Dogs Self-Test on Parallel Strucntre. For each ques-
tion, suhmit your revision online to receive feed back.
http://aliscot.com/bigdogfparallel_exercise .htm
For add itional practice, complete this parallel
structure quiz from Capital Community College.
http://gramrnar.ccc.corn1m1et.edu/grammar/
cgi-shl/quiz.pl/parallelism_quiz.htm
 CO MM U N I C AT IN G FOR RESULTS
Eli111l11ate St11te11ce Errors that Impair Sentence
Clarity and Unit)
4. Eliminating Sentence Fragments. Test your knowledge
o r complete sentences with this exercise rmm Purdue
Uni versity's Onli ne Wri ting Lah. Act as editor of
1hese examples From student. papers, then check your
answers ui.i ng the address at the ho11om or the page.
http://owl.english.purdue.edu /exercises/5/18/38
S. Improving Modifier Placement. Try th is interactive
exercise from C,apital Community College for prac-
tice in identifying sentences with effective modifier
placement. In groups of three or four, discuss your
answers and compare results.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/
cgi-shl/quiz.pl/modifier_quiz.htm
Fo r mo re practice, visit the fo ll owi ng site and
check fOT dangling and misplaced modi fiers In t.he
se ntences provided.
www.alio;cot.com/bigdogldm mm_excrcise.htm
6. Combining Sentences. Complete these quizzes from
Capital Community College by comhining groups of
sentences into effective single sentences containing
only one independent clause each.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/
quizzes/com bin i ng_q uizl. htm
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/
quizzes/comhinlng_quiz2.htm
Develop LogLcal, Colterrnt, and Focused
Paragraphs
7. Improving Logical Coherence in Paragraphs. Visit the
following page from the Using English for Academic
Purposes (UE[AP) wehsite and complete the four
interactive exercises that require you to reorganize
sentences for logic anti coherence.
www.uefap.com/wrltlng/exer cise/paraglparagex5
.htm
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
1. Recognize the nature and characteristics of
memorandums and e-mail.
2. Apply formatting rules and writing plans for
memorandums and e-mail.
3. Format horizontal and vertical lists for clarity
and conciseness.
4. Eliminate common e-mail problems, dubious
practices, and etiquette gaffes.
5. Recognize steps In processing and
managing e-mail.
6. Develop correct e-mail style and tone.
7. Write memorandums and e-mails that
Inform, request, respond, convey goodwill,
and follow up.
 COMMUNI C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
memo a specially rormattcd
document that Is sent to readers
within an organization.
e-mail (electronic mall)
messages distributed by a
computerized mall service.
AN EFFECTIVE Internal communications strategy Is one of the touchstones of a highly
engaged workforce. Esther Huberman, communications consultant at Pal Benefits, believes
that employers should develop and Implement an Internal communications strategy right
from the start: "Inaccurate Information may have a negative Impact on employees' percep-
tions, which may spill over Into what they communicate to customers and other audiences."'
With so many optlons- e-mail, thie Internet, Intranet, video, webcasts, podcasts, Interactive
portals, and social media- asking employees for their preferences Is Important, according
to Huberman. Kim McMullen, principal of KMcMullen Communications, adds that a delivery
method should support an organization's goals. She recommends that organizations align
their Internal communication strategy with their external brand and mission and transmit
the same message In a variety of ways to accommodate employee needs.2
Even with the clearest and most specific of communication protocols, however,
employees may still be confused about where to draw the line between using e-mail as
a productivity tool and as a channel for personal conversations. Management consultant
Michael Marmur says that most people have regretted sending at least one e-mal I at some
time and "need to be reminded of what's appropriate and what's lnapproprlate."3 It Is also
Important to remember that employers can monitor their staff's e-mail messages; employ-
ees have no expectation of privacy when using company networks.
Certain e-mails can Ignite controversy and hurt a company's Image and reputation
unless the response Is handled s.wlftly and calmly. In late July 2011 , a disgruntled Whole
Foods employee e-mailed a scathing 2,000-word resignation letter to th e entire company.
Calling Whole Foods a "faux hippy Wal-Mart;' the author attacked the company for aban-
doning Its core values. The letter was soon posted onllne and went viral. Rather than retali-
ate or succumb to a knee-Jerk reaction, the company provided a concise, cohesive response:
"We disagree with this former team member's statements and we wish him the best of luck
In his future endeavours. Such situations can quickly get out of control, but Whole Foods
was able to contain the negative publicity.
Memorandums
Memorand ums, more commonly known as memos, can he many things- reminders,
instructions, records of act.ions and decisions, data-gathering tools, and aids t.o prohlem
solvi ng. Sent to people inside your organization, they are a fast, efficient way of putting
information in the hands of people who need it and getting answers from the people who
can provide them. The paper mem o, with its distinctive style and structure, was once the
pri mary means of inter-office communication. It has left its mark on e-mail, the channel
for hoth internal and external m essaging that has essentially re placed it, thanks in large
part to o rganizations' need to conduct their husiness more sustai nably. In fact, e-mail
brings the best of memo style to internal and external communication, adhering to the
time-savi ng forn1at and straightforward approach of a hard-copy memo hut elimh1ating its
wasteful pape r trail. Even a quick glance at the information at the top of the screen or page
can tell a reader what the message L~ ahout, who it is from., for whom it is intend ed , who
else received it, and when it was w ritten.
Memos and e-mail are the workhorses of husiness comm unication, indispensahle aids
to the tasks of gathering, sharing, and analyzing information about products, day-to-day
 5 I MEMORA N DUMS, EMA IL , A N D ROUT I NE MESSAGES

operatiom, services, stakeholders, and personnel. Bringing corporate levels together, the
paper memo and its elect.rm1ic counterpart are t.he most common ways for managers to
inform employees of policies and decisions and for employees to stay informed and offer
their input. Everyone from upper management down uses memos and e-mail. Writing
them well can win kudos for employees eyeing the road to advancement. It therefore pays
to perfect the e-mail style through which your managers and co-workers will come to
know you and to always review your messages before you send them. Learning about your
receivers' e-mail preferences and deciding when it is appropriate to use e-mail can help
you become a more effective communicator.
The advantage of a typical memo is its simplicity. It is designed to be read quickly,
even when it is organized like a report or conveys vital information. Usually less fom1al
than a standard letter, a well-written memo opens with its purpose- the main idea o r
primary action- and is presented so that it makes sense even to secondary readers. Any
hard-copy memo or electronic message should he clear, concL~e. and informative, sharing
the following common traits:
1. single-topic focus
2. brevity
3. two-pan structure, consisting of a header (Date,
To, From, S~ject guide words) and message
Watch David Taylor's"How to Write a
(divided into an opening, body, and closing) Perfect Memo for more information on
llecause corporate e-mail systems vary and a memo's audience and format: http://
style b'ltidellnes are constantly evolving, there is 900.91/ziFVmH.
some variation in the way writers treat e-mail and
in the form some messages may take. Some writers
use salutations; others don't. In some instances, a
complex o r critically important memo might he
more than a page, or an e-mail message might fill
more than a single screen. However, the longer or more complicated a message happen..~ to header a block of text appearing
he, the more it requires additional formatting techniques such as headings, subheadings, at the top of a document.
boldfaced elemenl~. bulleted items, and list~.
headings vtsual mar1<ers
consisting of words or short
phrases ttlat Indicate ttle parts
MEMO FORMAT of a document and signpost Its
As we've just stated, a memo has a no-fuss, two-part structure. The Date, To, From, and organization.

Subject headings or fields tell readers exactly what they need to know about a message's boldface a thick, black typeface
cont.mt and distribution. ln replacing standard letter elements such as the inside address, used for emphasis.
salutation, and complimentary close, these guide words save time and make formatting
bullets vtsual cues, usually large
easy They can appear in horizontal or vertical format, and their standard order can he dots or squares, that set off Items In
altered to suit a companys needs. a vertical list or emphasize lines.
It is common practice to type guide words in capitals, leaving a douhle space
between headings and three lines before the hody of the memo. The fill-in informa-
tion follmving each guide word should he aligned, usually two to three spaces follow-
ing the longest guide word (SUBJECT). Many companies provide memo templates, as
do '\vizards" in most word-processing programs, that simplify the tas ks of fonnatting
and alignment.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
opening the flrst par.agraph
of a memo; contains the most
Important Information regarding
the subject matter, the purpose for
wrttlng, and/or the action required
by the reader.
subject line tha part of a memo
or e-mail that Indicates the
document's tltle, topic:, purpose,
and Importance.
Each heading in a memo serves a particular purpose:
DATE: Provides the complete and current date. To reduce conrusion, follow
company practice in choosing between North American (May 1, 2014)
and European (1 May 2014) styles.
TO; Identifies the destination or the person(s) to whom the message is
addressed. The job title of the addressee is optional, except when the
name alone isn't enough to ensure that the message reaches its des-
tination. Courtesy titles (Ms., Mr.) and professional titles (Rev., Dr.)
may also be omitted unless you a re addressing a superi or. Dispense
with surnames only if you are on a first-name basis with the addressee.
If your memo is directed to several people, list their names alphabetic-
ally or in descending order of importance in the company hierarchy.
Crowded address lines can he avoided hy simply using a group designa
tion ("Claims Processors," "Marketing Group," etc.).
FROM: Identifies the author or origin of the message. Joh titles and t.he depart
ment name ca11 he used if your name alone is not sufflcient to iden
tify you as the writer. Courtesy titles generally aren't used because
they're too fom1al to suit this relatively infom1al mode of comm unica-
tion. The practice of initialling the end of the line applies to hard-copy
memos only.
SUBJECT: Identifies the topic and/or pi1rpose of the message for reading a11d filing.
The more old-fashioned "RE" (from the Latin for "about" or "concern-
ing") is sometimes also used to designate the content o r the message.
Ideally, the subject description shoi1ld not exceed one line. It does not
have to he a complete sentence and can be abbreviated (leaving out
art.icles- the, a, and an). Nevertheless, it must be specific enough to
give readers a full and accmate idea of what foll ows (i.e., h1stead of
"Estimate" write "Cost Reduction Estimate") or how they are to act on
your information ("Cost Reduct.ion Est.imat.e for Review").
CC: This abbreviation stands for "carbon copy," an obsolete term for the gen-
eric "copy." Insert t.he name(s) of anyone who \vill receive a copy of the
message hut is not an addressee. ln the case of e-mail, avoid unneces-
sary copying that will dog receivers' inhoxes and e-mail systems. Learn
what or.hers want and need to be copied on.
MEMO ORGANIZATION
Even though print and electronic memos tend to be short and sometimes fairly informal,
they still require fo rethought and planning. Before you begin to write, consider the facts
and issues you must cover and ant.kipate your readers' needs. Then choose a writing plan
that meets those requirements. Observing the pri nciples of good writing \vill help make
your memo focused and informative. Most positive and neutral messages conveying rou-
tine or non-sensitive infom1ation can be organized in the followi ng way:
To write an effective memo, use the opning for your most important information1,purpose
for writing, or required action. Don't waste time mechanically restating the subjct lin.
Instead amplify it by filling in the who, whot, where, when, why, and how that can't be
 5 I MEMORA N DUMS, EMA IL , A N D ROUT I NE MESSAGES

supplied by the subject line alone. Get to the point as quickly as possible. As an option,
include a few words of context, giving a reason for your request or telling readers why they
need to know t he information you're sharing:"To maintain productivity levels during power
outages, our company has leased an on-site power system from Energy Now." One to three
sentences are usually sufficient to summarize your central idea.

In the body of the memo, move on to particulars and more detailed information. Expand body the middle paragraph(s)
on, discuss, or explain the problem, assignment, request, or action you wish the reader to of a memo; provides necessary
background and more
take. Pare down details to include only the ones your readers must know to act on your detailed Information about the
information. If you are relaying a sequence of actions or several requests, put them in a subject matter.
grammatically parallel list prefaced by a summary statement that gives readers an overview
or glimpse of the"big picture~ Points may be presented in the following ways:

1. chronologically, sequenced from beginning to end or start to finish

2. in order of specificity, from most to least specific or vice versa

3. in order of importance, from most to least important or vice versa

Make sure the middle paragraph(s) provide sufficient background, bringing readers up to
speed on preliminaries and clearly identifying deadlines and people involved.

In closing, summarize your request or call for action, clearly indicating who should do closing then nal paragraph
what, by when, and for how long. If compliance isn't assured, point out alternatives or of a memo; summarizes the
content and Indicates next steps,
benefits to readers. It may be appropriate to end-date requests, cite reasons for them, invite
lnvttes focdback, offers further
feed back, provide contact information, tell readers where they can get more information, msourcos, and/or provides
or state what happens next. Avoid canned or mechanical phrases that do not suit the contact Information.
situation. Show courtesy and appreciation as the situation merits.

Double-spacing between paragraphs marks oFf one topic from another and reinforces
good organization. Graphic highlighting techniques can help emphasize key infom1ation,
hut he aware that some e-mail systems may not allow you to use boldface, italics, or other Italics sloplng lcttcrs used
more sophisticated typographical features, only plain text. For memos longer than a page, for emphasis or to distinguish
foreign words.
open \vith a summary statement (a condensed version of the memo highHghting purpose
and action sought). Organize the rest of your information under headings--even ones
as basic as "problem," "situation," and "solution"-so ideas and initiatives can be under-
stood and easily acted on. To simplify messaging and ensure uniformity, some companies
provide templates for different kinds of memos: ones delivering information, a_~king for
action , or demanding urgent action.
When you must deliver had news or write persuasively, use an indirect start-with-the-
evidence strategy. Readers are more likely to accept a decision , even a negative one, when
they are prepared for it and know it is logical and well justified.

FORMATTING LISTS FOR MEMOS AND E- MAIL

A list is a i,rroup of at least three logically related items. Its purpose is to give order and list a group of three or more
emphasis to important information-breaking up solid blocks of text, sequencing events logically related Items presented
consecutively to form a record or
and actions, and making concepts easier to understand, remember, and reference. lt puts aid to memory.
into practice the principles of balanced, parallel construction and thus helps improve
readabili ty. Similar phrasing for each item, where every item begins with the same part of
speech , reinforces t.he similarity of the list's content.
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

To be effective, any list must have these eatures:

a lead-in introducing, explaining, and putting in context the it.ems that follow
at least three and, ideally, not more than eight it.ems
parallel phrasing for every item
semantic and grammatical continuity between the lead-in and items (in other words,
every item must read grammatically with the lead-in)
adequate transition to the sentences that follow after the list

lists are formatted in two ways: horizontally (or in-sentence) and vertically (tabu-
lated). Horizontal lists give minimal emphasis but are also less intrusive:

We will discuss the following items at next Monday's meeting: the need for new quality
control measures, the performance of our customer service hotline, and the proposed
switch to voice-recognition phone technology.

As director of commercial real estate finance, you will monitor market trends, provide
information and support on our lending programs, and recommend refinements to
existing programs.

A colon is required before a list if t.he lead-in fom1s a complete sentence (as in the first
example above). For additional im pact, individual items can be introduced with a brack-
eted letter or number.

Please bring the following items with you on retreat: (1) walking shoes, (2) a raincoat, and
(3) sunblock.

Restrict yomself t.o a maximum o f four or five it.ems per horizontal list. J items exceed that
limit, a vertical list is your best choice.
Vertical lis ts, whet.her they're bulleted or numbered, are among the best-Im.own and
most frequently used design elements. With their high visual impact, vertical lists break
up imposing blocks of texts into manageable, "bite-sized" segments.
To bebrin, create a strong explanatory lead-in that reads logically and grammatically
with each point that follows . If your introduction is complete, you will not need t.o repeat
explanatory details in each point. Punctuate the lead-in with a colon i it can he read as a
complete sentence; use no punctuation if the lead-in depends on the point that follows to
complete its meaning.

l&J Our company

has one segment that deals with investing
has another segment that takes care of mortgages
also has leasing operations

0 Our company has three key business segments:

investing
mortgage operations
leasing operations

Use numbers or letters t.o indicate chronological sequence or importance, especially if

you plan on referring to an item later. Numbers are useful for indicating priority. Bullets,
on the other hand, are much more democratic because they suggest that all items are 0
equal import.ance.
 5 I MEMORANDUMS , EMA IL , AND ROUT INE MESSAGES

When each point rom1s a complete smt.mce, capitalize and punctuate each item as
you would a sentence. H you are giving instructions o r issuing directives or polite com
mands, begin each item \vith an action verh:

To ensure fairness in the evaluation process, please follow these instructions:

Distribute evaluation forms to seminar participants.
Remind participants that their responses will remain confidential.
Ask for a volunteer to collect and mail completed forms.
Leave the room.

Among listed it.ems, try not r.o mix clauses and sentences that requi re different ter-
minal punct.uation. Any item expressed as a complete sentence or as a phrase that com-
pletes the lead-in requires t.ermlnal punct.uat.ion, as does any item consisting of two or
more sentences.
Apply t.he principles o r chunking- a yardstick for list design- to <let.ermine the chunking tho grouping of Items
numher of items that a vert.kal list can accommodate. The average persons short-term of Information together to be
remembered as a unit.
memo ry can store seven pieces of data, plus or minus two, depending on the complexity
o r t.he in.formation. The more complex each it.em, t.he fewer items a reader can reason-
ably be expected to remember. Ideally, a list should be brief and kept to a maximum
o r seven or eight items. More than that and the list can lose its rocus and purpose, at
which point it is best to find a way to subdivide points and consolidate them under
appropriate l ead-in.~.

Begin with a strong lead-in summing up purpose or context.

Make sure the lead-in makes sense with each item.
Don't overload lists. If necessary, subdivide or consolidate points.
Use parallel phrasing. Keep verb forms and tenses consistent.
Punctuate in a consistent way.
Choose the type of list- horizontal or vertical- based on the emphasis or sequencing
you need to show.
Use similar types of lists for similar purposes throughout a document.
Don't use lists so much that they lose their effectiveness.

PAPER MEMO VS. E-MAIL

Faced with a choice of comm unication channels, you do not have to opt for electronic
transmission instead o r paper-based messaging every single time. There are instances
where a hard-copy memo is preferable, when legality, confidentiality, or document i.nteg
rity (preserving the layout or rom1atti.ng features that e~mail systems cannot accommo-
date) are primary concerns. Trad itional paper memos do without the informal salutations
and complimentary closes someti mes used in e-mails.
The followi ng memo functions as a letter o r transmittal, accompanying and explai ning
ot.her hard-copy documents.
 COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS
FIGURE 5.1
Sample Paper-Based Memo
Opens directly with a polite
command and uses active _ __,_.,._ Please distribute the enclosed calendars and remind your staff that the
voice sentence
Explains the opening request,
offers details, and supplies
end date for action
Explains enclosed material,
cites reader benefits, and
offers additional Information
Expresses appreciation
for action
TO: Tomas Slmlc, Campus Planning
FROM: Arley Simpson, Registrar
RE: Fall Registration for Continuing Education Courses
DATE: July 23, 2013
Department of Continuing Education Is now accepting registration for Its fall
courses, beginning September 9.
- - College staff members are ellg Ible to enrol tuition-free In up to five full courses
per year. A $25 processing fee Is applicable to each course registration. Please
note that the registration closes September 5.
.. Enclosed are five copies of the fall 2013- summer 2014 calendar fisting over
200 personal enrichment and professional development courses. Courses In areas
such as IT management and computer applications offer staff the opportunity
to upgrade work-related skllls for professional success. For detailed course
descriptions and easy onllne registration, visit our new website at
http://omnlstudles.manltou.ca. Please call me If you have questions about
our range of programs or require additional calendars.
.. Thank you for your help In dl.strlbutlng the calendars.
AS: ml
Enc. 5
Cl Fill in appropriate information, including a strong subject line, after headers.
Cl Be as brief as your message allows you to be.
Cl Follow the style guidelines of your organization.
Cl Be direct and begin with your most important point when relaying routine news or
information.
Cl Provide only as much background or evidence as your reader needs to act on your
instructions or information.
Cl Itemize supporting details, related questions, and additional requests in bulleted or
numbered lists in parallel form.
Cl End courteously with a request for specific action, reason for the request, and deadline.
 5 I MEMORANDUMS , EMA IL , AND ROUT INE MESSAGES

E-ma il
Few technologies have had such dramatic impact on the business world as e-mail has
in recent years. Few are as loved and hated as this essential medium of communication
bas come to he. E-mail is now an unavoidable fact of ht1siness life; it is an indispens-
able, multi-use tool of management work and the most common means of transmitting
workplace documents and flies. It<; advantage- and ironically iL-; disadvantage- is that
messages can be produced easily and quickly and transmitted instantaneously. E-mail's
versatile capabilities and wide availahili ty make it an ideal productivity tool- a cheap and
convenie11t way to access, exchange, and process infol"mation. Collaborative work can
he carried out more easily than before, due in no small part to the interaction and more
equal participation that e-mail fosters. E-mail has revolutionized the workpl ace in other
ways too. helping to improve customer service, boosting the quality and quantity of ideas
employees share wi th their colleabrues, and giving mamigers an effective way of dealing
\vith their staff.
Only recently has e-mail become a source of corporate embarrassment- a smoking
gun that can offer incriminating and permanent proof of companies' wrongdoing. Because
e-mail can end up anywhere and compromise co11fide11tial and classified information ,
many organizations have hem forced to clamp down on e-mail use and to regulate and
moni.t.or it closely. even goi ng as far as requiring employees to save their messages for sev-
eral years as proof of ethical conduct.
While e-mail has certai nly changed the way compan ies do husiness, many of t.he
e-mail prnctkes that are meant to hoost efficiency can result in poor, lazy hehaviours that
waste time and energy and leave recipients frustrated and vexed by unwanted messages.
Not surp risingly, e-mail has its own special set of prohlems: clogged inhoxes; indiscrimin-
ate distribution lists; serious privacy violations; uncooperative serve rs; unsolicited, sloppy.
inflammato ry, or undeliverable messages; and difficult-to-follow "thread" e-mails. The
urge to check for incoming messages or to hit the "Send" hut.ton without first reviewing
a message can stri ke even the most disciplined e-mail user. An ever-increasing portion of
a typical day at or even away from the office involves the necessary hut sometimes tedi-
ous work that e-mail demands. The fact that it is
possible to access e-mail almost anywhere at any
time has created a round-the-clock virtual work-
day. A 2012 survey revealed that 68 per cent of
Americans check their work e-mail hefore 8:00
In July 2013, Ferrari implemented a
a.m. and 69 per cent check it. before goi ng to hed. 1
new e-mail policy to reduce the number
E-mail is now inescapable. According to a
of group messages and to improve
2011 Pew Internet survey, 92 per cen t of adult
employee efficiency. Read "Stop
Internet users use e-mail. 0 O f the J 1 per cen t of Emailing and Start Talking, Ferrari
Canadi ans who own a smartphone, 70 per cent Orders Employees to learn more:
use their device ror sending or reading e-mail. 1 http://goo.gi/Jr0240.
Even mill ennials, the t.exting generation that has
grown ur using apps and technologies that all ow
for collahoration and connectivity, use their mohile
devices primarily for e-maiJ.R
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
netlquette the Informal code of
conduct governing polite, efficient,
and effective use of the Internet
spam an advertising message-
elcctronle junk mall- sent Widely
and lndlsc11m1natcly.
Some people are compulsively preoccupied hy their e-mail and can't live without
it, while others consider it a hall and chain , a source of anger and st.ress. Part of the
problem is that e-mail is a relatively new technological frontier, an evolving medium
with practices that still haven't heen f1.1lly standardized. Although users may love the
technology, they should also stop to consider e-mail's relevance and suitability to a given
task. Because e-mail is a hybrid form of speaking and writing, users also sometimes have
trouhle deciding exactly what it replaces- an infom1al chat or a fonnal hard-copy letter-
which accounts for the range of e-mail styles and quirky tonal variations that characterize
today's e-mail traffic.
Some organizations have come to the rescue by instituting e-mail guidelines regarding
what their employees can say and how to format that information. Though these gui de-
lines vary from organ ization to organization and though e-mail style varies from docu
ment to document, savvy com municators recognize t.he value of smart e-mail practices.
Knowing your netiquelle and being proactive in managing your messaging makes e-mail
a channel that is fast, functional, and efficient.
GENERAL E-MAIL GUIDELINES
Keep in mind some general considerations for successful electronic communication:
1. Keep it brief. A short message (one screen or less) stands I.he hest chance of heing
read fully. Long messages may end up heing skimmed, marked to he read later, or
simply forgotten. Scrolling down to the end of a long message can be time-consum -
ing, so make sure each message merits its word count and consider usin.g attach-
ments. Include only as much infom1ation as is needed for recipients to take action
and make decLorions.
2. Remember that e-mail is not your only option. Strive for a halance between the
convenience of technology and the rapport or human contact. Don't L1Se e-mail
sim ply to avoid face-to-fact: contact, especially if you only wish to distance your
self from conflicts, argume nts, or bad news. Match the situation to 1.he correct
comm unication channel.
3. Compose crucial messages offline. This process allows you to review messages and
reduce the chance that they will he lost as a result of a technical glitch.
4. Follow organizational rules for e-mail. Some companies have standardized pro
cedures for e-mail; some have only unwri tten or loosely applied guidelines. If rules
haven't heen estahlished , allow the most effective messages you receive to guide you.
5. Don't use company e-mail systems for personal communication . Your organ
ization's resources shouldn't he used recreationally (e.g., to swap personal photos,
shop, or send personal messages). Some companies allow their employees "reason-
ahle personal use" of e-mail while others prohihit it. Sending personal e-mails and
using the Internet ror matters unrelated to husi ness is risky and may have professional
repercussions for you. Protect your inbox from spammers hy havi ng your address
removed from spam and junk lists that can expose you and your company to racist,
sexist, or seirually explicit messages. Exe rcL~e caution in opening any file attachment
you suspect has been corrupted. Computer rnalware and viruses can have a devastat-
ing impact on data security, with implications for the entire organization.
 5 I MEMORANDUMS , EMA IL , AND ROUT INE MESSAGES

6. Aim for a balance of s peed and accuracy. Speedy e-mail writing and the errors it
can cause make for slower e-mail reading. E-mail readers are generally more tolerant
of wTi ting errors, but there are limits to allowances for incorrect spellings. poor gram-
mar, and misused punctuation. Careless messages can result in lost credibility and
clients. Ensure that your spell-check software is set to the correct language. Glan ce
ove r your messages to catch errors in spelling. grammar, and punctuation before
you hit "Send." Give im port.ant, non-routine documents close and careful reading
and employ the same kinds of strategic planning mn.d range of writing skills as you
would for non-electronic documents. Because e-mail involves the rapid exchange of
information, let your readers' needs be your guide, but don't double or triple your
composition time by putting every single word under the microscope. After all, e-mail
shou ld boost your productivity, not reduce it.
7. Keep your messages professional. Think of you-r credibility and professionalism
before using emot.kons--such as,, and :-)- that are intended to communicate
the tone of a message. Their cham1 and whimsy may go over well with close friends
but not wi th business con tacts, who may take their t'1.Heness for a lack of professional-
ism. Instead, state your business plainly in standard English. Use please and thank you
fo r the sake of politeness and adjust your tone if you want to sound friendlier. Use
your e-mail system~ setti ngs to add an electronic signature contai ning your name,
professional title, and, if you like, other contact information or even a photo. Decide if
you want different signatures for different situations (e.g., internal or external mail).
8. Understand that e-mail is not guaranteed to be p rivate. E-mail is easily deleted,
but even deleted e-mail can he retrieved, providing a permanent record of action.~
and decisions. It can be saved, archived, forwarded, and even used as legal evidence.
Some companies make a practice of monitoring employee e-mail o r instruct that it not
be used for certain types of comm unication. While "Big Brother" may not necessarily
be watching you , avoid send ing gossipy. incriminating, disparaging, or inflammatory
messages. Refrain from making jokes, sarcastic jabs, or facetious remarks. Don't write
anythi ng in an e-mail message that you wouldn't be comfortahle writing on a postcard
or seeing puhlished i.n the company newsletter.
9. Don't "write angry." Avoid flaming- the act of firh1g back and venting emotion via flaming ttie act of sending
e-mail. No matter how good letting off steam feel~ at the time, it can have serious out an angry c-rnall rncssagc
In haste without considering
repercussions. Quick, anh'TY responses flare tempers and usually resolve nothing.
the lrnpllcatlonsof airing
Instead, communicate contentious matte rs and sensitive issues through other chan such emotions.
nels, preferably ones wi.th visual o r tonal cues. If you have to deal with an angry
e-mail, give yourself enough time to cool clown and conside r yoiu response befo re
you respond. If an immedia te response is not requi red , save the draft overnight,
review the document the next day, and then decide w hether to trash or revise it.
10. Don't send unnecessary messages. The more you bombard readers with unneces-
sary e-mails, the less attention they'll pay to the ones that really count. Don't send
trivial messages o r ones that say merely "thank you" o r "you're welcome." Respect
your fellow e-mail users by putting a stop to the nuisance of time-wasting spam or
bulk junk mail from cyberspace. You can fight spam by using anti -spam soft.ware that distribution list a group of emall
blocks unwanted messages and by not posting your e-mail addresses on web pages, recipients addressed asa single
recipient, alloW1ng the sender to
where they can be easily copied in to the mailing lists and databases of hulk e-mail crnall rnany usersWithout entering
companies. Review the distribution list before sending an e-mail to ensure that it their Individual addresses.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

In September 2013,
professional networking site
Linked In was sued for allegedly
hac.klng users' emall accounts.
The lawsuit claims that the
company pretended to own
these accounts, downloaded
the contact lists, and sent
marketing materials to the
addresses. Llnkedln denies
the accusations.
Source: Cl Robert Wllkin'n/Alemy

has been properly updated and that your message will reach only those recipients to
whom it is relevant.
11. Protect yourself and your company. Be aware of ownership and copyright issues
and safeguard your organizations intellectual property. Add a copyright symbol ()
to all corporate material intended for Internet posting. Keep your password and user
ID confidential to ensure secure applications aren't compromised.

READING AND PROCESSING INCOMING MESSAGES

Manage your e-mail and maintain professionalism hy following a few common-sense
principles:

1. Schedule time for reading and writing e-mail. E-mail can be intrusive and dL~
tracting, hut don't allow it lo ruk your workday. Urgent messages excepted, set aside
a few times a day to read and respond. Be systematic, first scanning for impo rtant
messages from stakeholders and superiors and leaving personal messages for last.
Check for incoming messages regularly, especially before sending out anything signifi -
cant, just in case a new incoming message necessitates a reply different from the one
you had in mind. After long absences, open your most recent mail first, then scan for
earlier messages from critical stakeholders and superiors.
2. Do regular inbox clean-ups. Learn what your company expects you to file OT archive,
then get rid of the clutter by deleting unwanted, irrelevant, or outdated messages and
checking for ones that may have escaped your attention. Assign messages you want to
save to project files. Update your e-mail address book.
3. Scan the entire list of new messages in your inbox. Read all current messages
before writing follow-up responses.
4. Use filtering options and anti-spam software. Ensure the mail you get is the mail
you want. Most companies make ample provision for this in their e-mail systems.
 5 I MEMORANDUMS , EMA IL , AND ROUT INE MESSAGES

5. Capture your e-mail in a recognizable records system. Follow your o rganization'.<;

guid dines for the secure management and storage of your messages.

FORMATTING AND WRITING E-MAIL

As you prepare to write, follow these tips to ensure your message stays on target and gets
the attention it deserves:

1. Type the e-mail address correctly. Ensure your message won't he lost in cyberspace.
Rely on your electronic address hook if you routinely leave out or mistype characters.
As a111 option, include the recipient'.<; name i.n angle brackeL~ (e.g., <David Schwarz>).
Dett:rmine distribution and mailing lL~ts beforehand so you can tailor messages to
recipienL~' specific needs. Add "CC" (copy feature) and "BCC" (hlind copy feature)
addresses accordingly. Send copies only t.o people who have a legitimate need for your
information and keep some e-mail addresses anonymous if recipients are likely to
object to their circulation. Your program will usually insert your e-mail address and
the date automatically.
2. Compose an action-specific subject line. Subject lines help readers decide how
relevant, important, and urgent a message is. Together, the senders name and the
subject line help recip ients prioritize their reading. Labels such a..~ "URGENT" can he
used from time to time when companies approve of them. The best way to command
attention for your message is to create a descriptive subject line, like a newspaper
headline, that tells readers what the message is about in as few words as possible.
Ile s11ecific- for example, instead of "New Statement" (too general) write "Revised
Quality Assurance Statement." If an action is needed, use a verb (e.g., "Complete
At.I.ached Survey"). Ile sure to revL~e reply subject lines when they no longe r reflect
the content of I.he message. E-mails without subject lines stand the greatest chance of
hein g deleted without being read.
3. Wrap text after 70 characters. Short lines can look ragged and disjointed. Line
length settings are found in the preferences option of your e-mail program\; toolhar.
4. Use a regular mix or upper- and lowercase letters. Text messagers use all lower-
case, hut business write rs should avoid this practice. Capitalize I.he first letter in each
sentence and use correct punctuation. The practice of writing messages in all caps
(sho uting) is forbidden hy many organizations. Not only is it considered rude and
oppressive, it is also difficult to read . Headings and subheadings may be useful in
organizing long messages. lf you use hold and italics, be aware that some platfomis
won't accommodate them. Jn such cases, use asterisks() around a word to show ital-
ics and underscores(_) to show underlining.
5. Keep paragraphs and sentences short. You should aim to keep text sho rter than
in regular word-processing documents. Use double-spaced paragraph breaks for
emphasis and readability Design your message so readers can skim it easil y, not-
ing shi fts in topic with each new paragraph. Smart organization means less read-
ing time per message, helping reade rs cope with the ever-increasin g volume o r
inbound e-mail.

As you begin t.o compose your message, keep in m ind t.he follO\vi ng strategies for
shaping its content:
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
salutation the grecdng In a letter,
used to addmss the person being
written to.
complimentary close a formulaic
closing, usually a word found after
the body of a letter and before
the signature.
attachment an Independent
computer me sent with a regular
e-mail message.
REPLYING TO E-MAIL
Many of the tips di..~cussed in the: previous sections also pertain to e-mail replies, but here
are a few more guidelines to consider when wri ting responses:
1. Use appropriate greetings to soften messages. Common informal salutations to
use when you know the recipient well include Ilello, Ifi, and Greetings used on thei r
own or followed hy th e recipient's first name. Memos omit greetings, and quick, rou-
tine messages may not require a brreeting at all hut can sound impolite or abrupt with-
out one. In some cases you may sim ply incorporate the recipient's name in the first
line of the body of your message. For external e-mail, salutations are recommended,
but avoid the "one-size-fits-all" approach and make si.ue the greeting you choose fits
the context. Use Dear Ms. or Mr. (plus the recipient's last name) when you aren't on
a First-name basis with the recipient and Dt:ar (followed hy the recipients first name)
when you know the person well.
2. Get to the point immediately. Begin by asking for action, information, or a reply or
by providing an overview if your message runs longer than one screen. A sr.rnng open-
ing that identifies issues, people, prod ucts, or services is vital to a messages success.
3. Use lists without overloading them. Divide material into short, manageable seg-
ments or into lists with bullet points or numhers. Llmit lists to between three and
eight poi nts. Use formatting strategies to make your e-mail vL~ually appealing and
quickly scan nahle because only the most important messages are read word for word.
4. Sign off \vi th a complimentary close and your name. Your dosing should maintain
the tone of your greeting and of your message as a whole. If nothing too formal i..~
required, a sim ple Regards or Thanks will do. Reserve Sincerely fo r messages where you
need to show deference. Use: Ch1:m only if the message is cheerful. Drop the compli-
mentary close in quick rout.int: messages where politeness isn't a concern or in mes-
sages that function as memos.
5. Tell people who you are. For external e-mails in particular, set up an automatic
signature through your e-mail program. Recipients will then know your professional
title, telephone number, office mailing add ress, and full name.
6. Edit your text and nm a spell-check. Readers won't e>.'Pect ahsolute perfection, but
the more correct your e-maill i..~. the more professional and credible you will seem.
7. Follow common-sense rules for attachments. Attachments are independent com-
puter files sent with a regular e-mail mes.~age. Before you create an attachment, consider
if its contents could he put in the I.ext of the message. Lahel attachment documents so
they can he ea>ily recob'll ized and summarize their contenL~ in your e-mail. Also be
certain l.o identify the application you are running as well as its version. Ask pem1ission
hefore sending large attachmenL~ to make sure your recipients system or mobjle device
can handle them and avoid sending too many attachments with a single message.
8. Don't he impatient for a reply. After you've sent your message, wait for a response
instead of jumping to condi.1sions-that the message has been misdirected, left
unopened, or overlooked- and sending out a duplicate message. People do not
always answer their mail the same day they get it, so be patient and allow a reasonable
amount of time for a response. If you need an immediate answe r on a pressi ng matter,
make a quick telephone call instead.
 5 I MEMORANDUMS , EMA IL , AND ROUT INE MESSAGES

1. Reply as promptly as possible. Develop a response game plan, deciding how best
to juggle this and other tasks. If you can't reply immediately, write a quick message
indicating that you will send a full reply lat.er (e.g., "Will reply Friday").
2. Modify your distribution list. lf you receive a group e-mail, you may need to send
your response to the entire group or only a few m embers. Think twice before you
automatically hit "Reply All." Prune the distribution list so that only individuals who
have a legitimate need for your message receive it. Indiscriminate use of "CC" and
"Reply All" tops the list of e-mail users' biggest complaints, so take a few seconds to
decide who needs the contents of your reply and who doesn't.
3. Don't automatically include the sender's original message witl1 your reply. How
much of the origi nal message to incorporate in a reply is a common e-mail dilemma;
therefore, consider the context in which your own reply should he placed. Fo r short,
routine messages, the original can he included with your reply, hut he sure to pm the
latteT at the top to save readers the trouble of scrolling down. If you decide not to
return the senders message, provide a reply full enough (not just "OK" o r "No prob-
lem") for readers to know exactly what you're referring to. For lengthy or complex
messages, type your response next to the relevant portions of the original message,
hut always make sure the distinction between your words and those of the original
is clear. Choosing the right reply style can help reduce major irritants, such as chain
e-mails, now bmmed by some organizations.
4. Avoid indiscriminately forwarding e-mails. Consider whom the message is relevant
to and who really needs the inrom1at.ion.
5. Make pmvision for your absences from the office. Let people who are trying to
reach you know you are out of the office, when you will return , and who m they can
contact in your absence. Arrange ror automatic receipt of incoming messages and out-
of-office m1tgoing messages.
6. Pmtect and respect authorship. Select a read-only status for critical documents that
could subsequently he altered without your knowledge and retain a time-stamped
copy o r the origi nal. Always credit the o riginal author o r forwarded documents. The
rules of plagiarism apply equally to electronic communicar.ion.

E-MAIL STYLE AND TONE

E-mall is not just a technology but also a matter of style that becomes a statement of
your pe rsonal and professional image. Thats why some users are dissatisfied when their
"e-mail voice" doesn't match thei r speaking voice. If you keep in mind what your e-mail
replaces--a race-to-face conversation, a telephone call, a hard-copy letter, a trad itional
proposal- you will begi n to understand how infom1al or fom1al your style should he.
E-mail is so flexible and ad aptable that it accommodates a range of styles.
Semi-formal or conversational style applies to most e-mail messages, especially rou-
tine communication. It resembles the proceedings of a we11-conducted meeting transcribed
without the pauses and, hopefully, without any errors. Personal pronouns, contractions,
and active-voice constructions are what make this style crisp and accessible. E-mail tends
to he somewhat more informal than other forms of communication; however, a telegraphic
style marked hy abrupt shifts in topic and omitted subject words is not recom mended for
most e-mail messages.
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
Informative memo a message
to which the reader will react
neutrally.
FIGURE 5 . 2
Ineffective Informative
E-mail Draft
Subject line Is vague and
uninformative
Slow opening paragraph
makes It unclear wl'oat
message Is about
Uneven tone affects
readability
Random order and Iack of
details contribute to fuzzy
or unclear focus
Formal style is reserved for documents th at are e-mail o nl y hy virtue of th eir
tra11 smission- reports, policy statements, and proposals. Any document meant to be
printed out should conform to style conven tions for its type.
Tone is hard to control in e-mail hecause of the rapid and infom1al way most messages
are wri tten. For many e-mail users, the prime concern is simply getting their point across
clearly and not how a message sounds. Users who are not hy nature cold, impersonal,
or rude may sound that way to fellow users who know them th rough only their e-mail.
Anger, resentment, or impatience may he inferred where none was intended . To a void this
misunderstanding, think of your recipients and their needs. Visualize the reci pients and
consider how they might respond in a conversation. Then read your message hack t.o detect
tonal miscues; proofread important and compliance-gaining messages with a critical eye.
ROUTINE MESSAGES: POSITIVE AND INFORMATIVE
MEMOS AND E-MA IL
Informative memos and e-mail. convey mmouncements, company policies, guidelines,
instructions, and proced ures. lnformative messages must be clear and direct in order ror
readers to put directives into practice and carry through on initiatives. A clearly wo1ded sub-
ject line, direct opening, clear explanation, and rollow-up instruct.ions (often in an enumer-
ated list), good closing, and positive emphasis support the messages informative aim.
Subject: Food, Glorious Food
Date: Mon., Jan. 13, 2014, 9:45 AM
From: Tyler Fisk <Tyler.Flsk@cllcksnmortar.ca>
To: Ella.Brldges@cllcksnmortar.ca, Pho.Nguyen@cllcksnmortar.ca,
Dora.Juarez@cllcksnmortar.ca
Arranging for catering has always been a major headache. Remember those
meetings where all we had to eat was a box of soda crackers and a few cubes of
cheese? Well, those days are over and we have our new partnership with Gusto
Fine Foods to thank for It. Now we'll have tasty low-cal and low-carb snacks for all
our boardroom meetings, on-site seminars, and receptions. There will be a tasting
session on January 17 so you can try some of these unbelievable sandwiches
and hors d'oeuvre.
- - -1 ... Soon It will be possible to order food like this onllne. Ordering Is easy- just
remember to specify quantities and dates required. There are so many food
choices It's hard not to order every sing le thing.
Of course, It's possible to over-Indulge even In healthy food, so forget about
ordering catered lunches and snacks every day.
And don't forget to order at least 24 hours In advance, otherwise you might be
out of luck (and hungry). By the way, you can find Gusto Fine Foods onllne at
www.gustoflnefoods.com. Bon appetltl
 5 I MEMORANDUMS , E MAIL, AND ROU T INE MESSAGES

Figm es 5.2 and .5.1 are two versions of a message explaining the adoption of new
order proced ures for office catering se rvices. Numerous fai1lt.s red uce the effectiveness of
the message in Figure .5.2, whkh begins with a vague subject li.ne that doesn't accurately
describe the purpose or content of the message. A sloppy, weak, and negative opening puts
a com.plaint first, well before important information. It isn't immediately d ear what the
message is about. Random, out-of-sequence steps aren't itemized , making the instructions

FIGURE 5.3

Subject: New Catering Requisition Procedures

Effective Informative
Date: Mon., Jan. 13, 2014, 10:15 AM E-mail
From: Farah Aswan <Farah.Aswan@cllcksnmortar.ca>
Accurate and descriptive
To: Ella.Brldges@cllcksnmortar.ca, Pho.Nguyen@cllcksnmortar.ca, subject line creates focus for
Dora.Juarez@cllcksnmortar.ca message

Opening paragraph focuses on

Effective February 3, all requests for office and event catering should be made
action to be taken
onlline through the Gusto Fine Foods website.

As you know, Clicks 'n' Mortar, Inc. recently awarded Gusto Fine Foods, Inc. a
contract to cater all board meetings, on-site training sessions, client consultations,
and receptions. Gusto Fine Foods specializes In offering health-conscious Explanation highlights benefits
busI nesses low-carbohydrate and low-calorie alternatives to traditional office fare.
Durl ng the six-month Introductory period ending July 31, you may choose
from a specially priced product line that Includes fruit platters, hot and cold hors
d'oeuvre, light lunches, fresh juices, specialty coffees, and VQA Ontario wines.

You can ensure prompt and efficient delivery of your order by placing It 24 hours
In advance and following this procedure:
Hyporll nk makes additional
1. Visit the Gusto Fine Foods website: www.gustoflnefoods.com. Information available
2. Ciiek on "Orders."
3. Enter your department number and password.
4. Make your menu selection.
Procedure outlined In
5. Fiii in the time, date, location, and guest-number fields.
llstform
6. Submit your order and print out a hard copy of the requisition.

The cost of each order, plus applicable taxes, will be automatically deducted from
your departmental hospitality allotment, up to a maximum of $400 per month.

To learn more about Gusto's extensive catering services, you and members of
your department are Invited to an Information session on January 17, from
5:00-7:00 p.m. In the Central Atrium. Giorgio Delmonico, president of Gusto Fine
Foods, will be on hand to answer your questions and offer you the best from his
tastl ng menu.

Following the order guidelines established through this new partnership will -c Reader benefits emphasized
Improve the quality and efficiency of our In-house amenities and client hosting.
Call me at ext. 211 If you have any questions about the new procedure.
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
request memo a message that
asks the reader to perform a
routine action.
FI GURE 5 .4
E-mail that Requests
Subject clearly Indicates
that a response Is required
Opening combines
statement of benefits
with polite command
Multiple requests presented
In a numbered list - --+-
Explanation establishes the
necessity for the request --
You attitude, active voice
verbs, and reason for end
date help to encourage action
difficult to follow. The tone is alternately breezy and accusatory, creating incoherence, and
many key details are left oiit- the effective date of t.he new ordering proced ure, the time
and location oft.he tasting session, and contact information.
Fib'lm: 5.1 creates a focus for the message with a specific: and descriptive subj ect line.
The direct opening tells readers exactly what the message is about, and the exp lanation
in the paragraph that rollows indicates why the new procedure mus t he implemented
and what its ad vantages are. The numbered list shows the steps in the new procedure in
sequence, simpli fying instructions for easy reference. The hyperlink to t.he catering com-
pany\.; website allows readers to access information that can't he provided in a short mes-
sage. To encourage compliance, the writ.e r reminds readeTs o r the new procedures benefits
and invi tes their questions by offering contact information in the Bnal paragraph . Readers
are left knmving when the new proced ures go into effect and what they are supposed to do.
The purpose of an informative message can also be to confirm a change in plans o r
schedule or to ackn owledge recei pt of materials. Wri ting an acknowledgement is usually a
matter of courtesy and requires no more than one or two sentences.
ROUTINE MESSAGES: REQUEST MEMOS
H you seek rout.ine in rom1atio11 or action, always use the direct approach. Request memos
st.and a greater chance of gaining compliance when readers know hy the end of t.he first
Subject: Your Reaction to Proposed Power Conservation Plan
Data: Fri., Apr. 18, 2014, 8:30 AM
From: Derwin Waters <dwaters@aerosport.com>
To: Sandy McPhee <smcphee@aerosport.com>
To help us meet new government guidelines for workplace power conservation,
please answer the follow Ing questions regarding your energy consumption and
preferences on the job.
1. Would raising summer office temperature to a maximum 24 degrees
Celsius be acceptable?
2. Could overhead lighting be reduced In well-lit work areas?
3. Based on your use of office kitchen equipment, could you do without
the refrigerators and automatic coffee makers located on each floor?
The recent blackouts and power outages have put the Issue of energy conserva-
tion high on our agenda. Our aim Is to create an environmentally responsible
yet still comfortable workplace by reducing power consumption by as much as
15 per cent.
Your answers to these questions will assist us In establishing new
recommendations to reduce power consumption and related costs. Please
respond by May 12 so we may compile data and act on your Input when the
Health and Safety Committee meets on May 16.
 5 I MEMORA N DUMS, EMA IL , A N D ROUT I NE MESSAGES

paragraph what you are asking for and what action they must take. This directive is usu-
ally expressed as a polite command (Please explain the procedure for orde1ing a transcript of
ont: of your broadcasts) or a direct question (What is tht: procedure for ordering a transcript
of one of your broadca.~t.~? How may I obtain a transcript of one of your broadcast~?). Multiple
requests can be introduced by a summary statement and then listed as numbered or bul-
leted questions. For ease of response , readers can be invited to reply within the original
message. Explanations and justifications belong in the body of the message. While polite-
ness is key to gaining compliance, citing a reason for the request, reader benefits, and an
end date c:an build goodwill and help to ensure a useful and timely response. A consisten t
tone thats not too apologetic or demanding reduces the chance reade rs will overlook or be
resistant to your request.
Requests that make sizable demands on the reade rs time and resources sh01.1ld follow
the indirect plan that includes a reason for the request. If you think the reader may not
readily comply, reduce resistance by persuading with reasons and justifications.

ROUTINE MESSAGES: REPLY MEMOS AND E-MAIL

Like requests, responses are crucial to the day-to-day operation of organizations. Response response a message that answers
messages deliver specific information itemized in the order that the requests were made. a request or queiy.
Using the di rect approach, you can write an effective response that is complete, focused,
and well o rganfaed. Open by announcing the most import.ant fact or answer (o ften by
referring to the previous message), sharing good news, or introducing multiple responses
by way of a summary statement. Arranging these responses according to I.he order of the
original requests saves time and increases coherence. Boldfaced headings or catchphrases
can be used to summarize the rocus of each response. [t may be appropriate to provide
additional information relevant to the o riginal request. The closing sums up your response
or offers further assistance. A prompt reply indicates both efficiency and a willingness to
help. The e-mail in Figure 5. 5 is a reply to the message in Figure 5.4.

GOODWILL E-MAIL MESSAGES

Thank-you or congratulatory messages are a matter of courtesy and make good business
sense. In putting good wishes ahead of business transactions, goodwill messages help goodwill message a message
reinforce 1.he professional and personal bonds between writer and reader. Thank-you mes- that enhances the value of a
business beyond Its tang Ible assets
sages express apprec:iat.ion for help, invitations, hospitality, interviews, rec:ommendat.ions, by creating a bond of friendship
past business, favours, emergency services, and s pecial duties perfom1ed. Congratulatory and cstabllshlng trust and mutual
messages recognize special achievements or milestones--career promotions, job appoint- understanding between the writer
and recipient.
ments, awards, or special honours. These types of messages use the direct approach, first
identifying the situation, then including a few reader-focused details and ending pleas
antly, often with a rorward-looking remark. Avoiding trite, wooden expressions allows you
to give t.hie impression of spontaneity and sincerity. The goodwill e-mail message shown in
Figure .5.6 conveys appreciation ror part.icipation in a business-related charity event.
Because e-mail is informal and spontaneous, it has become a common means of
transmitting quick or impromptu goodwill messages. Ilut bear in mind that the more
deferential and reserved you need to be, the more you should consider sending a typed or
handw1itt.e11 let.ter.
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
FIGURE 5.5
E-Mail that Responds
Opening refers to the previous
mes~ge and provides a
summary statement to
Introduce responses to
Individual questions
Responses arranged as
bulleted points In order of
original requests; boldfaced
catchphrases summarize
original questions
Final paragraph summar1zes
overall response and offers
assistance
follow-up musage provides
a record of a meeting, Including
Its time, place, purpose, and
any agmemcnt.1 that may have
been made.
Subject: Reaction to Proposed Power Conservation Plan
Date: Mon., April 21, 2014, 9:42 AM
From: Sandy McPhee <smcphee@aerosport.com>
To: Derwin Waters <dwaters@aerosport.com>
Here are my reactions to the proposed power conservation plan you Inquired
about In your message of Apr. 18.
Raise summer office temperature? Yes, this would be a welcome
change. Staff members have complained that the overly efficient air
conditioning system leaves them In a "deep freeze" throughout the
summer. Many people bring extra clothing with them to wear at their
desks. Raising the office temperature would Improve our overall
comfort level.
- --1- Reduce overhead llglhtlng? Possibly. Most workstations have more
than ample lighting, especially the outside offices that have a good supply
of sunlight. After the 2003 blackout, overhead lighting was temporarily
reduced by one third with no Ill effects on safety or productivity. I think
we should proceed ca utlously with this recommendation and explore
potential health and safety concerns.
Remove unused office kitchen equipment? Yes, only a few department
members use the refrigerator and coffee maker on a regular basis,
especially since the specialty coffee franchise opened on our premises.
I think we should keep the coffee maker, which was purchased only a
year ago and requires little power. The 25-year-old refrigerator, however,
could be scrapped or replaced with a smaller, more energy-efficient model.
Instead of having one refrigerator per floor, we could make do with one or
two for the entire building.
- --t-- I agree that most of the proposed changes could be Implemented with
minima! disruption to operations and little Inconvenience to staff. Let me
know If I can provide further assistance In making our organization more
energy efficient.
FOLLOW-UP MEMOS AIND E-MAIL
A follow-up is a more specialized type of informative message, one that reflects good
business practices. As the memory of a conversation or meeting fades, a follow-up mes-
sage se rves as a record for future reference confi rmi ng the time, place, and purpose of a
meeting. The follow-up also serves as a reminder of the names and titles of participants
and sometimes even the terms of a verhal agreement o r the roles of a working relaitionship.
Restati ng basic facts and major d irectives, decisions, and issues ens1.1Tes that each person's
version of what took place is I.he same. Because others may not rememher a conversation
exactly as you do, make allowances for dlffering accounts hy using phrases such as "As I
 5 I MEMORANDUMS , E MAIL, AND ROUT INE MESSAGES

FI GURE 5.6

Subject: Thanks for Making a Difference Thank-You E-mail Message

Date: Tues., Oct. 8, 2013, 9:23 AM
From: Greg Stockwood <gwstockwood@baxtercable.com>
To: Trish Corelli <tcorelll@baxtercable.com>
Opening paragraph conveys
thanks to the recipient for
Trish, thanks for helping to make Sunday's Run for the Cure a runaway -
services provided and describes
success. By completing the 20-km course, you and your Baxter Cable teammates those services In di!tall
helped raise over $5,000 for breast cancer research.
Second paragraph describes
Your commitment to the community Is something to be proud of. In _ _ _,___ the benefit derived from
recognition of your achievement, Baxter Cable will match the money raised on that service
Sunday by making a $5,000 donation to the Canadian Cancer Society.
Closes pleasantly with further
Thanks again for so generously giving your time and devoting your energies to - -+-- thanks and recognition of
the positive effort recipient
such a worthy cause. has made

FI GURE 5.7

Subject: Confirmation of Conversation about Seminar Details Follow-Up E-mail Message

Date: Wed., Mar. 5, 2014, 4:53 PM
From: Jo Costello <jcostello@solutlonsplus.ca>
To: Rebecca Cohen <rcohen@solutlonsplus.ca>
Opening ldi!ntlfies the date and
Thanks, Rebecca, for talking with me yesterday about how to assist In ..,._ subject of the meeting
upgrading the writing skills of your department members. This message
confirms the details of the on -site course we agreed on In our conversation.

A three-session course for 20 accounting personnel will be held from

4:00-6:00 p.m. on March 11, 18, and 25.
Major details and points agreed
Ryan Mackenzie of Stylus Writing Services will conduct the course. upon are listed as bulleted Items
Mr. Mackenzie, who Is under contract to our company, has presented
similar courses to customer service and marketing personnel. Feedback
on the two previous courses was very positive.

The course will Include grammar review but will focus primarily on how
to write letters and e-mails In a plain-language style. A fu ll course outline
will be distributed to registrants by February 28.

Each registrant will receive a 30-page learning guide. Individualized

feedback Is available on request. Uses positive tone and forward
looking approach; message
I am confident that this six-hour Intensive course will help members of your ends with allowance for
department achieve their writing goals and Improve communication with correction of details
Internal and external stakeholders. If this message accurately reflects the details
of yesterday's conversation, please confirm your agreement by return e-mail.
 D COMMUN ICATIN G FOR RESU LTS

recall" or hy inviting feedback that verifies the information you have passed om ("Please
reply if you agree that this message accurately reflects our conversation"). Writing follow
up messages protects you and your reader, lessening the chance of later retractions, falsifi-
cations, or broken commitments. The more important an oral agreement is, the more vital
it is to have proof in the form of wri tten confim1ati.011.. For especially crucial or sensitive
agreements, print out a copy of your follow-up e-mail or send a hard-copy letter.

Instant Messaging (IM)

Matt D. Simpson offers more IM rules
in his article"12Tips for Using Instant
Messaging in the Workplace: http://
goo.gl/SntT1 M.
Some organizations support the adoption and inte
gration of instant messaging (IM) into their busi-
nesses; some take steps to ban it. Like many new
technologies, JM has trouble being taken seriously
and used productively. While there is no consen-
sus among IT managers that instant messaging is
the way of the future for maximizing prod uctivity
and proRtahility, many users claim they can't do
business wi.t.hout it. JM combi nes features of syn
chronous, real-time communication (face-to-face
meetings, telephone calls) with traits more com-
monly identified wi.th e-mail. Many of the b'Uide-
lines for using e-mail also apply to JM:

Instant messaging (IM) the

1. Limit the use of abbreviations. The IM lexicon is a specialized language, often
exchange of rMssagcs aver strongly identified \vith its teenaged users. Abbreviations such as ttfn ("ta ta for now"),
the Internet botwacn two or imo ("in my opinion"), and btw ("hy the way") may confuse individuals who are
more users who are onllne
unfamiliar wi.t.h these tem1s.
simultaneously.
2. Use a natural mix of upper- and lowercase. Alt.hough small key pads, rapid infor-
mation exchange, and other facto rs account for the spareness of text messaging

" In October 2013, the company

launched Its BBM chat app
for IPhones and Androids,
allowing non-BlackBerry
owners to use the Instant
messaging servke for free.
Although the launch was
delayed due to an onllne leak,
It was extremely 5uccessful,
with over 10 million downloads
In one day.
Source: 0 AayArt Graphics/Alamy
 5 I MEMORANDUMS , E MAIL, AND ROU T INE MESSAGES

style, tty to make your messages as readable as possible by avoiding practices such
as shouting.
3. Keep conversations to a few people al a time. More than four or five participants
in a conversation can make fo r an interactive free-for-all. Notify participants before
distributing the contenL~ 0 a thread conversation.
4. Inform people about your availability. Set status flags r.o "away" or "busy" if you
don't wish to he rngaged.

Cl Be an effective e-mail manager, checking your in box at regular intervals, responding

promptly, and filing messages for easy reference.
Cl Adopt good email practices (pruning distribution lists, using anti-spam software,
resisting the urge to "flame," and using company e-mail only for business purposes).
Cl Use e -mai l as a primary means, but not your only means, of communication.
Cl Make every message count by avoiding unnecessary replies, gratuitous forwarded
messages, and blanket messages.
Cl Create a functional and descriptive subject line for every message you write.

Composition
Cl Be brief, putting your main message in a strong opening so readers won't have to scroll
down through multiple screens to find it.
Cl Remember that e-mail is permanent and public-be careful what you write.
Cl Write with speed and accuracy by obeying the rules of good writing but not agonizing
over every character or line.
Cl Be conversational by writing "talking messages.
Cl Insert responses into the original message whenever possible to avoid creating chain
e-mails.

Cl Use hard-copy memos sparingly; use e-mail messages for internal and informal external
communication.
Cl Apply correct formatting rules and writing plans for memos and e-mails by using
accurate headers, providing clear subject lines, and organizing messages with an
opening, main body, and closing sentence/paragraph.
Cl Incorporate horizontal and vertical lists for clarity and conciseness.
Cl Elimi nate common e-mail problems by avoiding dubious practices and observing
proper netiquette.
Cl Follow common-sense steps in processing and managing e-mail.
a Use the direct approach for most memos and e-mail messages that inform, request,
respond, convey goodwill, and follow up.
 COMMUN I CATING FOR RESULTS
i[ WORKSHOPS AND DISCUSSION FORUMS
1. Emall Round -Table Discussion. Tn groups or as a
class, answer the following questions, propose solu-
tio ns to some o r the most pressing proble ms and
dubious practices, and create a list or general e-mail
guidelines based on your discussion . Decide which
rules would help you to use e-mail most effectively.
a) 1low many e-mail messages do you receive daily?
i. fewer than 10
ii. 10-25
iii. 26-50
iv. more than 50
Is your inbound e-mail manageable or do you
su ffer from e-mail overload?
b) How many e-mail messages clo you write each
day?
I. 5 or rewer
ii. 6-10
iii. 11-25
iv. 26-50
v. more than 50
c) 1f you use e-mail to communicate at work,
how much of your workday is spent writing o r
answering e-mail? Does e-mail create more wo rk
o r help you do work?
d) How long is your average message?
I. one or two sentences
Ii. one or two paragraphs
iii. one screen
iv. more than one screen
1) How does e-mail make you feel? What types of
messages do you most dislike or look forward to
and why?
f ) What bothers you most about communicati ng by
e-mail?
2. Emall Style: Bending the Rules of Usage. Id entify
faults and weaknesses in the rollowing routine mes
sage. Discuss to what extent its flaws reduce read-
ability. Are errors in spelling, grammar, usage, and
punctuation ever pennissible in e-mail? Why or
why not?
Subject: Meeting
Date: June 18, 2013
To: All Concerned
FYI, we have alot of problems with our shipping
proceedurs, its making me really L. May be it'd be a good
idea to discuss it. hoping to work out some solutions,
a meeting will be held. A meeting to discuss shipping
proceedures will take place next Tuesday, if that's o.k.
with yous. Their three items we need to discuss.@.... see
yous at the meeting.TIFN.
3. E-mail Privacy: Expectations and Illusions. In March
201.1, Harvard Un iversity!; administration searched
th e e- mai l accou nts o f 16 resident deans to learn
who had leaked an internal memo about a stucl enL
ch eating scandal to th e media. According to Harvard
policy, e-mail accounts can be searched for purposes
of internal investigations, hut the account holder
must be notified before or soon aflerward. In this
case, only one dean was told of the search, after 1t
had occurred. The administration had apparently
felt entitled to search th ese accounts because resi-
dent cleans are classed as employees rather than
faculty memhers, wh o have more protection under
the universily's elecmmic media policies. lloweve r,
the resi den t cleans are conside red by many to he
faculty. (Mo re information on th is story is avail-
able at www.bostonglobe.com/metro /201.3/03/l 0/
harvard-university-administra tors-secretly-searched
- deans email-accounts-hunting-for -med ia leak/
LHyFUYh2FNAaG2w9wzcrLl/story.html.)
Jn small groups, discuss the Harvard case and
answer the following questions: Should the resident
deans have had any reasonahle expectation of pri-
vacy? Was llarvard administration justified in 1heir
actions? What would have been just, rea~onable, and
appropriate under the ci rcumstances?
 5 MEMORANDUMS , E-MAIL, AND ROUTINE MESSAGES

. WRITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES

Rrcognlze the Nature and Characteri~tlc~ of over forty years' experience in the industry. The altered
Memo.~ and E-mail procedures Garrison has recommended wi II go Into
1. Evaluating Mamo Subject Lines. Mark each of the fol. effect September 15 and help ensure a safe working
lowing subject lines as V for vague or S fo r specific. environment and the protection of company property.
a) Holiday Celebration Please access the building by the Wilcox Street entrance
b) Cancellation of Holiday Celebra1ion and present your photo ID badge for security inspection
c) Casual Dress at the reception desk. All other doorways will remain
d) Proposed Casual Dress Day Program locked from the outside and are to be used only in the
e) Complete Attached Questionnaire event of emergency evacuation. Visitors will be issued
f ) Questionnaire security badges and must sign in and out at reception.
g) Your Request for lnfonnation on Corporate Media While on premises, all personnel must wear their photo
Relations ID badges.
h) Mee.Ila Article
4. Composing Strong Mamo Openings. Rt:vise the fol-
I) Customer Service
lowing paragraphs t.o front-load and summarize t ht:
j) Introduction of Customer Service lloLline
main message.
2. Writing Subject Lines for Memos and E-mail. For
a) Many of our employees have indicated that they
each of the following scenarios, write a focused and
favour adjusted work hours throughout the sum
acuon-specific subject line.
mer. After careful consideration, we have decided
a) You are writing to all employees to ask them to
that new hours will go into effect from June 2 to
complete an attached questionnaire on proposed
September 2. The new hours are 8:30 a .m.-4:30 p.m.
changes to the pension plan.
b) Our association holds its annual conference in
b) To promote a more positive and inclusive work
August and we are interested in your hotel and
environment, your company will be hold -
conference centre as a possible venue for this year's
inj.( a diversity awareness se minar on June 9.
event. We require a hosting facility to accommodate
Allenclance is mandatory.
our five hundred members from August 15- 18, 2014,
c) 13ecause many sta ff mem hers wear clothing
and need information about cost and availability.
inappropriate for the workplace, including mid-
c) We have recently received numerous complaints
riff-baring tops, micro minis, and T-shirts with
from points program members indicating that they
offensive slogans, your company \vill mtmduce a
have been prevented from applying their accumu-
dress code to take effect on July 2.
lated bonus points for discounts on recent purchases.
3. Getting to the Point. Unscramble the followmg memo
I am asking customer relations to conduct a study of
so that it starts with the main message and reserves
and make recommendations on the efficiency of the
the explanation for the body. Eliminate unnecessary
points program.
<letails.
d) We have noticed recently a steady decline In the
Trespassing and vandalism have become Increasingly quality of our high-speed Internet service. As our
serious problems for our organization. Following three contract with our current provider expires next
reported security violations in the past month, we have month, I am asking you to investigate the rates and
hired Garrison Safety Consultant Services to redesign service records of its chief competitors.
building access and entry procedures. Garrison Safety
Consultant Services has a proven track record and
 COMMUN I CATING FOR RESULTS
Format Horizontal and Vertical LMs for Clarit>
and Conciseness
S. Creating Effective Lists. Reorganize the followmg
information into list form, tabulating steps and sup-
porting points. Compose a lead-in that suits each item.
a) Please follow these packaging procedures to ensure
that all shi pped items arrive undamaged. First of all,
ensure that the item does not exceed weight restric-
tions for the type of packaging used. Fragile items
should be shipped in special protective packaging.
Larger items should be shipped in customized crates
and containers. Always ensure that the package is
properly sealed.
b) Setting up your new HT printer involves only a few
steps. You should start by plugging the unit in and
making sure the printer cable is connected to your
computer. Then you should follow printing software
instructions and align print settings, but before you
commence your first print job, you should run a test
sample in case settings need adjustment.
c) The new direct-deposit payroll system has several
advantages. Employees will no longer have to wait in
bank lineups to deposit their cheques and there is no
risk that paycheques will be lost or stolen. Employees
can enjoy the added security of knowing that their
salaries go directly into their bank accounts on bi-
monthly paydays.
- - - - - -
a cASE STUDY EXERCISES
Wrltt Memos and E-mails that Inform, Requtst,
RCSJJOnd, Convey Goodwill. and Follow Up
Analyze the following writing cases and select relevant
details to include in your messages.
1. E-mail that Informs. As an assistant buyer for Space
One, a new Vancouver-area furni ture and home acces
so ri es sto re, write a message 10 Marcella Ponti, pro
prietor and ch ief huyer, summa ri zing Lhe top 1rends
al the Interior Design Show. Marcella is currently o n
a buying trip in lt.aly and has sen1 you to the show
in her place. The Interior Design Show in Toronto is
(..anadas largest residential desibrn show, attended by
8,500 design professionals and over 50,000 visitors
every year. lts exhibits and presentations by designers
Eliminate Common Problems and Dubio1ts
Practices in E-mails
6. Extinguishing "flaming ." Revise the following mes
sage to n eutralize its angry tone and improve its
professionalism.
Iabsolutely have to have the latest sales figures
by Friday- no Ifs, ands, or buts. I fi nd it difficult to
understand why so simple a request goes unnoticed
until the deadline has passed, especially when the
survival of our retail clothing division depends on
ongoing analysis of this important data.
Develop Corrrct E mail Sty le and Tone
7. Adopting a conversational e -mail style. Revise the
following message between two long-time co-work-
ers to eliminate stirfness and undue formality.
Dea r Mr. Harry Singh:
Please be advised that you are instructed to review the
revised procedures for sending courier packages to the
United States. Please find attached a copy of the revised
procedures for your perusal. Substantial savings will be
realized if all personnel comply with the new procedures
and Iwould be most grateful if you complied with them
as well.
Respectfully,
Paula Wittington
from around the world showcase innovative products
and trends in furniture, textile, and home accessor-
ies design, residential interior design, and landscape
architecture. In your three days at the show, begin-
ning with Trade Day, you noted many new trends
hut were most impressed hy the innovative use of
materials in furnitu re design . Stan douts in cluded a
collect.ion of ott o mans and chairs in leather, for, and
chrome priced in the $1,000-$2,000 range from the
Montreal design team Verile. "Clear" was another hm
trend 10 furniture and accessory design, seen in an
array of glass, Lucite, and acrylic products and best
exemplified by Philippe Starck's interpretation of a
classic Louis XV armchair and th e use of glass tile and
 S I MEMORANDUMS , EMA IL , AND ROUT INE MESSAGES
countertops in kitchens and hathrooms. In textile
desi1:.rn, I.he most noticeahle trend was toward textural
and richly emhellished fahrics in silk and synthetic
blends, notably in a colour palate of golds, browns,
and corals. Having carefully reviewed product litera
ture and pricing information, you believe a strong
case could he made for stocking several Canadian
items that re nect Space One's design sensibility.
2. E-mail that Informs. As director o r loss prevent.ion
for a small chain of grocery stores, write an e-mail to
store managers advising them of a surge in the use
of counterreit Internet discount coupons. In recent
months, the problem has grown more seri ous. In
July, for example, retailers were hit with a nood of
hogus coupons promising free ice cream hars from
Hiiagen-Dazs, a hrand represented in Canada by
Nestle. With this in mind, ad vise store managers to
mon itor the siwation closely and warn cashiers to
closely inspect coupons offering free or heavily dis-
counted items and to decline coupons without bar
codes and expi ry dates. Of course, you realize that
some bogus coupons are difficult to detect because
tech nophiles can easily alter manufactu rers' cou-
pons or create their own from scratch with the right
tools. The Food Marketing Institute, an international
association hased in Washington, DC, estimates that
frauds cost the sector up LO US$800 million annually.
Make it clear to your readers that the cost of these
downloaded forgeries is a cost you prefer LO avoid.
3. E-mail that Informs. As your company's office
events coordinator, write an e-mail to all employ
ees informing them of a retirement dinner party fo r
Gerald Dwyer. Gerald joined the company in 1967 ,
first working as a mail clerk and steadily earn ing pro-
motions to become manager of operations. Known as
a team playe r, he spearheaded the company's United
Way fundraising dri ve for live record -breaking years
and streamlined office procedures for greate r effi-
ciency. Retirement parties are usually dreary affairs
but you'd like this one to he different. Include infor-
mation ahout when and where the party will he
held, how formal i.t will he, what type of food will be
served, whom to contact for tickets, cost per ticket,
whether guests are permitted, additional charges fo r
a gift, and venue parking and accessibility details
(con.sider a hype rlink for this fin al item). Use appro
priate fom1atting techniques for easy readability.
4. Goodwill E-mail. As a colleague of Gerald Dwyer (see
the previous case study), wri te him a congratulato ry
e-mail conveying your best \vishes m1 his retirement.
Gerald was yo ur supervisor when you first joined
the company ten years ago. Although you found
his attitude somewhat paternalistic, especially when
he referred to remale coworke rs as "my hest gals,"
you appreciated his fairness and guidance, both of
which contrihut.ed Lo your career advancement. A
long-standing family comm itment prevents you from
attending his retiremen t dinner.
S. E-mail that Requests. As associate vice-preside nt
for information technologies at Kelso Community
College, compose an e-mail to faculty asking them for
their feedback on a proposed v\IL\N (wireless local
area network), part of the college's comprehensive
e-strategy. For you, the advantages of "going wire-
less" are ohvious. Instructors will be ahle LO manage
their course workload, schedules, and student needs
online, leaving mo re time for them to he actively
engaged in research. Students will he ahle to access
brrades more easily, e-mail assibrnmenL~ to instructors,
and interact \vith fellow classmates. You would li ke to
know if fac.ulty members agree that wireless technol-
ogy will create a more effective way of teaching and
a more efficient way of learning. Will it make their
work easie r? Do I.hey have the skills--for example,
knowledge of computer troubleshooting- to make
good use of the new technology? Can students he
relied upon to hring their laptops to class and use
them consis1.ent.ly? Do they have other concerns?
6. E-mail that Responds. As chair of the Early
Child hood Education Program at Kelso Community
College, respond to the proposed WLAN (see the
previous case study). Having heard that most other
academic institutions have adopted wireless tech
nologies, you would like to see Kelso gain a similar
"electronic edge," though you still have a few reser-
vations. Primarily, you are concerned about online
anti-virus security and related privacy iissues. Would
students' marks he secure? What would happen if the
system crashed? Another issue that con cerns you is
sll.ldent access to laptops and available funding fo r
those unable to meet the technological requirements.
Many o r your students cannot afford to buy a laptop,
so you would like l.o see fonding set up before such a
program is implemented .
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
7. E-mail that Informs. As marketing coordi nator or your
company, wri te to members of the marketing div
ision advising them of the venue change for the r.eam-
huilding retreat scheduled for August 8- 10. The
sudden closure of Cedarcrest Resort and Conference
Facility d ue to a health alert has ldt your division
without a veni1e. Rather than cancel the event, you
have negotiated with the resort operator, Riverwood
lnc., to move the event to Huntingwood, a nearhy
lux-ury resort in the Riverwood chain. The health alert
has not t11Efected Huntinl,l\Vood, nor is it expected to.
The ai m of the retreat remains the same: to foster het
ter relations among your sometimes-combative team
memhers. The program of events is also unchanged.
From 8:30 a.m. to noon each day, the group will
make presentations and discuss marketing strategy.
From 1:00 to 4:00 p. m., the l,'foup will participate in
fun and challenging team-huilding exercises such as
three-legged races and obstacle courses.
8. E-mail that Follows Up. As coordinator of you r
organization's newly established intramural sports
program, write a message to Garinder Singh, vice-
president of human resources, confirming the details
worked out in a meeting several days ago. Since it is
your responsibllity to organize events for the upcom-
ing winter-spring season, you want to he sure that
you and Garinder agree on the terms of participation
r
1... ONLINE ACTIVITIES
Recognize the Nature and Characteristics of
Memos
1. Reviewing Memo Guidelines. Take the quiz cre-
ated by the El Paso Comm unity College to test your
kn owledge of memos.
http://starl.epcc.edu/Student!Tutoria\_Quizzes/
Writing_quizzes/memo_quiz..htm
2. Writing Memos. Visit the Weh Writing that Works!
"Challenges" web page and complete the exercises. For
each of the four paragraphs, also add a subject line and
introd uctory statement.
www.wehwritingthatworks.com/
eGuideS can2dChallenges. htm
and the structure and memhership or the teams. The
program has been established to promote friendship,
co-operation, and healthy lifestyles among employ-
ees. Six co-eel teams will he open to employees only
and will offer them the opportuni ty to p;;irr.icipate
in non-body-contact hockey, soccer, and softball.
Everyone ls welcome to participate in m ore than
one sport and \vill be notified by e-mail of game
el ates and cancellations. Registration will commence
immediately and end one week prior l.O the season
opening games. You will he responsible for notifying
team members of game dates and cancellations and
for booki ng are nas and diamond times. To ensure
employee safety, Garincler has a.~kecl you to arrange
for volunteers with refereeing expe rience who in tum
could he offered a small gift o r honorarium for their
services. A $20-per-person rink fee applies to hockey
participants to cover hooking and rental charges.
Hockey players are expected to provide tlheir own
equip ment, including sticks, skates, hel mets, and
mouthguar<ls. Softball players must come to games
equipped with gloves and appropriate footwear. All
other softhall and soccer equipment will he provided.
During the program's inaubrural season, teams will
play every two weeks. There \vill he prizes for win-
ning teams and certifi cates for players wh o attend
throughout the season.
Recognize Steps in Processing and Managing
E-mail
3. Writing E-mail Subject Lines. Visit the Royal
Melbourne Institute ofTechnologys Study & Learning
Centre website and complete the subject line exercise:
www.d\sweh.m1it.edu.au/lsu/content/4
_WritingSkills/writing__tuts/husiness
_%20english_LUernails/subject_line.htm1
4. Reducing Spam. Review the spam you receive over
a two- or three-day period, then visit the Spamhaus
Project, a database on the history and methods of
spammers. Dis<:uss ways to reduce and eliminate spam.
www.spamhaus.org
 s MEMORANDUM S, E MAIL , ANO ROUT I NE ME SSA G ES

s. Analyzing Websites. Read lhe Wolfram Memorial 6. Tracking Internet Use. Visit Stauslics Canada's The
Lihrary's "How to Recognize a Business/Marketing Dally from Wednesday, May 25, 201 I for a rcvtew
Web Page." of the 2010 Canadian Internet Use Survey (CIUS),
www.widener.edu/lihraries/w ol fgram/evaluale/ which ou11ines personal computer access according
hu~marketing.asp to public- and private-sector industries:
Use the checklist to evaluate one or more of the www.~Lalcan.gc.ca/daily-quotidien/11052 5/
follc>wing Canadian retall wehsites: dq 110525h-eng.htm
http ://canada.roots.com Then refer to the following analysis oft.he data:
www.chapters.indigo.ca www.convurgency.com/hloW-2011-canadian
www.leevalley.com -internelu~agestati~tics.html
www.danier.com Write a hrief summary of what you have learned
www.canadiantire.ca ahout e mail, then e-mail your assignment to your
www.hhc.com instructor.
www.marks.com
LEARNING OBJECTIVES

1. Use a direct writing plan for routine 5. Compose messages of appreciation,

business messages. congratulations, and sympathy.
2. Request general Information and claims 6. Write announcements, cover letters,
adjustments. and Instructional letters.
3. Order services and merchandise. 7. Format formal letters In a variety of ways.
4. Respond posltlvely to requests for
Information, purchase orders, and
claims adjustments.
 6 I ROUTINE AND GOODWI LL MESSAGES

HIGH -PERFORMING organizations and their leaders know the role that communications
plays In building a culture In which trust-a quality vital to credibility and loyalty-can
thrive. David Moorcroft, former senior vice-president of corporate communications at RBC
Financial Group, states: communication Is the critical link to stakeholders. Not just to pro-
vide information, which Is Just the table stakes. Building trust Involves managing communi -
cations and creating the right channels that give employees more of a say In things and
encouraging discussion around what needs to be done: His advice to senior executives Is
to "do a lot of location visits and a lot of direct e-mail communication. And always provide
opportunities for feedback. Communication can't be left to chance. 1

Di1rect Writing Plan

Good news messages, which inspire positive reactions from reade rs, est.ahlish rapport all
on their own. Readers are always receptive to good news and are usually anxious to learn
key informati on immediately, without first having to read a preamhle or explanation.
The same applies to routine and informative messages, to which readers react neutrally:
Together, good news and informative messages are the mainstays of husi ness correspond-
ence. When it comes to communicati ng good news, handli ng routine infom1ation , or even
making a si mple inquiry, don't make readers wait. Take the direct approach and make
your point right away: Not only will you be getting your message off to a good start, hut
your readers might also even thank you for your directness.
A direct-approach message makes your purpose clear from the start, stating I.he direct-approach message a
main poi11t in the fi rst sentence hefore movi ng on to detauls. At first glance, readers can tell mcssago that presents the main
point In the flrst paragraph.
if you are asking for or supplying information, requesti ng or granting credit, or making o r
settling a claim. You can count on the direct approach lo speed the flow of information
and expedite purchase orders, credit applications, and claims adjustments.
Direct-approach messages save time and carry impact, hut not every culture responds
to direct correspondence in exactly the same way. While straightfo rwardness is the norm
in No rth America, it does not translate well to all cultu res. In high-context cultures-
such as th ose in Chi na, Japan, and Arab nations- directness is considered rude and may
actually prevent you from getting your message across properly. In such cases, it is import-
ant to est.ahlish rapport hefore citing a prohlem
or making a request and even then to suggest or
ask ratlier than demand. ln Japan, where fo rmality
L~ important, it is customary to emhed a request,
no matter how routine, and to soften it wi th pre-
liminaries and other politeness strategies. On die
other hand, people in Western cultures consider a
Read Corinne Labossiere's "The No. 1
lack of directness to be a waste of their time. When
Rule for Good Business Writing? Get
you are commun icating cross-culturally, weigh to t he Point"for more on direct writing:
your readers tolerance for directness hefore you http://goo.gi/Z0v7YN
launch into your request or begin your response.
Plan ahead and familiarize yourself with local
styles, prntocols, and preferences. Making direct-
ness work for you means avoiding a one-size-Ats-
all appro~1ch to messabring.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
request memo a message that
asks tho rcador to perform a
routine action.
A three-part structure helps to guide readers, navigating them through a direct
approach message from heginning to end. Each part has its own specific functiolll:
Opening- delivers the main message fi rst. It answers your reader's most import.ant
questions; st.ates the good news; makes a direct, specific request; or provides the most
import.ant information (from the reader's perspective whenever possible).
Middle- explains details of the news or inquiry and supplies hackground and clari
fication when needed. If there are further points or questions, they are presented in
parallel fom1 in a hullet.ed or numhen:d list (maxi mt1m five or six items).
Closing- ends pleasantly in one or more of the follO\ving ways: provides contact
information; asks for action, input, or a response, often hy a deadline; tells the reader
what happens next; commun icates goodwill.; or shows appreciation.
Straightforward and versatile, this writing plan L~ one that can he used for most routine
correspondence, including requests and responses.
Requests
The first step in getting something you need--data, merchandise, a product replacement,
refund, action, or assistance- is knowing how to ask for it. The direct approach puts your
request (often in the form of a request memo) hefo re the reader right away and helps to
speed the exchange of infom1at.ion and pace of transactions. Keep in mind t.he following
tips as you draft your direct-approach requests:
Put the main idea first. Emlbedded request.~ are easy to overlook. Phrase your request
as a question (Will you please provide recommendations on technology purchast:s that
would help reduce turnaround time on document production?) or a polite command (Please
provide recommendations on technology purchase.~). St.ate exactly what you wan.t- vague
requests only encourage vague responses.
Give a reason for the reque st or state its hene6t. Unless you can incorporate this
information into tbe opening paragraph in one sentence or less, put it in the second
paragraph: Please assist me in preparing an artic:lefor Accountants Monthly by answering
the following que.1ticm.1 abrmt. your C:PA work-study program.
Introduce multiple requests or quest.ions with a summary statement. Ph rase your
request as a polite question th.at requires no question mark: Will (or Would) you please
answer the following que.1tions about your exec:utivt: search services. Another option is to
phrase it as a polite request: Please answer the following questions about your executive
st:arch services.
Anticipate required details . Consider what the reader will need in order to process
or act on your request.
Strike a tone that is right for your reader. Be Ami hut respectful. Don't apologize
or he afraid t.o ask for something to which you are entitled, hut don't hrowheat tbe
reader to do as you say. Show courtesy, especially in an externally directed message.
Keep minor points to a minimum. Unnecessary infom1ation bltmts t.he impact of
your request. Edit out unrelated facts. If you want to give your reader additional
lnformation, enclose supporting documents.
Use a layout that focuses attention on your n:quest. Incorporate hulleted. or num
bered lists, surround specifi.cs with white space, and boldface or italicize key points
for emphasis.
 6 I ROU T INE AN D GOO DW I LL ME SS A G ES

Close in a courteous and efficient way. Focus on the action you want the reader
to take and use positive language to com municate goodwill and show appreciation.
Avold closing with canned expressions, such as Thanking you in advanct:, or ones that
make your req uest sound unfocused, such as Thanh you for any in.formation you can
provide. Opt for something that is fresh and relevant to your partk1.1lar message.

REQUESTS FOR INFORMATION, CREDIT, AND ACTION

An effective request for information or action lets the reader know at the hegi nning exactly
what is required, what should be done, or what compliance you seek. A common fault
o r 1nrormation and action requests is that they are either too abrupt and demanding or
too apologetic and deferential, so aim for a tone that is fill1'1 yet polite. To elicit as much
relevant Jn fom1ation as possible, pose open-ended q uestions (ones impossible to answer
with a simple yes or no). H appropriate, explain how you will use the info rmation you
obtain or whom it may benefit. lf the reader is expected to perform an action, citing the

FIGURE 6 . 1

Ineffective Information
Dear Ms. O'Connor: Request (extract)

The r ecent relocation of our company offices to smaller premises has forced us --- -+-- B!!glns with an explanation
rather than a dlrnct rnqucrt
to consider off-site document storage and upgrades to our flllng and records
system. I have been entrusted with the Important task of researching options
and finding a solution to our current document storage and retrieval cri sis. Your
company was recommended to us by one of our suppliers, but we could not
locate your website, hence the necessity of writing to, you now. I hope you will
be able to answer some questions I have about the services you provide.
Rambling second paragraph
Our chief Interest Is cost. We are Interested In finding t he safest and most cost- ..,. makes It difficult to Identify
effective way to store documents that have been on flle more than two years. lndlvldual questions

First of all, we need to know how expensive your services are. Perhaps you offer
discounts based on volume. Can we retrieve documents Immediately or would It
take several days to process a request? What sort of security does your company
guarantee for our most confldentlal documents?We also need to know what sort
of support you provide your customers. We have many other questions, but thi s
should be enough to give us a rough Idea of whether your company Is the right
flt for us. What other services do you offer?
Closing makes request less
I need any Information and recommendations you can provide regarding the spedRc. Inviting response not
storage and retrieval of documents. tailored to the Inquiry

Sincerely,

Ross Camrose, Manager

Ope:ratlons
 COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

FIGURE 6 .2

Improved Information ASHANTI ACCOUNTINC ASSOCIATES

Request
418 Grafton St reet, Brampton, ON N9C 2G8
905-681 -2045

January 6, 2014

Ms. Melanie O'Connor, Manager

Slmpllfled Document Storage Services
1100 Terra Cotta Road
Toronto, ON MSW 1Z4

Dear Ms. O'Connor:

Opens with a direct request for
Information In the form of a .,. Please answer the following questions regarding the document storage and
summary statement
retrieval services your company provides.

Phrases questions In parallel

form and organizes them In an
easy to read llst
.. 1.
2.
What are your billing rates?
Are discounts based on volume available?
3. How long does It take to process a document retrieval request?
4. Would the security of our documents, especially our most confidentlal
1

ones, be guaranteed?
Makes reason for the request
secondary to the request Itself
S. What support do you provide to your customers?

Refocuses request at the Our company must find a suitable document storage solution before June 30,
end, bettering the chances of
~ when we will move to smaller premises while our permanent offices undergo
obtaining quallty Information
a year-long renovation. We would appreciate answers to these questions and
End dates request lo motivate
prompt response .,. any other Information you can provide on your document services by May 1S.

Sincerely,

Sasha Mistry
Manager, Operations
 6 I ROUTINE AND GOODWI LL MESSA GES

benefits can sometimes encourage a more favourable reply. End with a paragraph- even
a short sentence-specific to the reader and the request. Make a point of refocusing your
request, end-dating it if necessary, and ei.'Pressing appreciation for compliance.

ORDER REQUESTS
You may decide to write an order request for merchandise when it isn't possible to order order request a request for
something by catalogue order form, telephone, fax, or website or when you need a record merchandise that Includes a
purchase author12at1on and
o r having placed an order. This type or letter should supply all the details needed for the
shipping Instructions.
order to he filled: s pecific product names and descriptions, quantities, order numbers,
units and total prices, desired method of shipment, preferred date of delivery, and mer.hod
o r payment. Don't forget to factor in applicable taxes and specify the delivery address ir it
is different from the billing address. Careful formatting of the message can make the order
faster and easier to process:

1. Authorize t11e purchase and specify t11e preferre:d method of shipment. Merely
expressing interest in certain merchandise may not communicate your intention to
purchase it. Your request should he explicit rather than implied. lndica1.e 1.he source
of m.erchandL~e infom1ation , especially if you lack a current price list.
2. Itemize requested merchandise, using a list form.at. Use tabulation, tidy columns,
and white space to create a readable summary of details about multiple items. Alibrn
dollar figures (unit prices and totals).
3. Close with special instructions and thanks. State how you intend to pay for the
merchandise- ask to be hilled, refer to credit agreements, or enclose a cheque.
Specify t.he dat.e by which you expect to receive your order and end with appreciation
for the processing of the order.

In 2010, after receiving tens

of thousand's of customer
complaints for years and
being sued by most US
states, DIRECTV agreed to
pay several mllllon dollars In
refunds and to Improve Its
pollc.les regarding cancellation
fees, contract changes, and
promotion disclosures.
Source: O Fr1nces Roberts/Alamy
 COMMUN I CATING FOR RESU LTS

FIGURE 6 .3

Sample Order Request (in ASHANTI ACCOUNTINC ASSOCIATES

simplified style)
41 8 Grafton St reet, Brampton, ON N9C 2G8

January 6, 2014

Practically Everything Office Supply

6315 Haliburton Boulevard
Oshawa, ON L4K 2M9
Subject line Identifies purpose
of the message and emphasizes
shipping Instructions - -- 1 "' RE: RUSH PURCHASE ORDER
Simplified style uses
no salutation - - -- 1~ Please send by overnight courier the following Items from your Fall 2013

Opening authorizes purchase

and Indicates method of
shipment
-- ,.. catalogue.

Quantity Catalogue Number Description Price

Itemized list clearly Identifies - - 10 X88900 Deluxe staplers $215.00

and quantifies order purchase
15 X82270 Tape dispensers 150.00
so X85540 60W fluorescent tubes 500.00

Subtotal $865.00
Estimated taxes 60.55
Shipping s 36.00

Total $961.55
Preforred method of payment
Included with special _ __,__,_., Our newly expanded tax preparation centre Is scheduled to open January 20
Instructions
and we would appreciate receiving these Items promptly In preparation for that
event. Please charge this order to our account no. 590 837 428. Should you need
to discuss any of these Items, please call me at 905-751 -2240.

No complimentary dose Is
used In simplified style letters
...
Ashanti Achebe, CA
 6 I ROU T INE AN D GOO DW I LL ME SS A G ES

CLAIM LETIERS
\.Vhen, as a custome r, you seek a correction of a problem or compensation fo r losses
incurred , the type of letter you write is called a claim . Filing a claim means you are wri t dalm a demand or request for
ing as a customer about something that has gone wrnng- merchandise has tun1ed out to something- often a replacement
or a refund- that Isconsidered
he raulty, goods haven't been delivered, a delivery has contained the wrong me rchand ise,
one'sdue.
a hi lling error has heen made, or the service you received has been unsatisfactory. Your
claim is j ustified and relatively straightforward if a prod uct is stiJl under warranty or a
service Le; guaranteed. In 01.her words, there is every reason the complaint should he easily
resolved. However, you must explain in a written letter why your claim is justified if you
hope to receive a refund, replacement, correction, or apology. Namrally, you may he anbrry
about what has happened, hut you shoi1ld avoid ex11ressi ng anger and refrain from adopt
adjustment a written response
ing a complaining or accusatory tone. Your best chance for success lies in staying objective to a complaint that tells the
and stating clearly what you expect the company to do. To put yourself in the right frame customer what will be dono about
of mind, allow yoursel f a cooling-off peri od before you WTite. Focus on providing details the complaint In terms of solving
the problem, correcttng an error,
the company will need to assess your problem and motivating 1.he reader to work on your granttng a rafuncl, or adjusting the
behalf and grant. you the adjustment you seek. amount due.

FIGURE 6 .4

Ineffective Claim (extract)

Subj ect: Complaint Regarding Your Illegal Practices ,._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ J Inflammatory subject line
creates a negative rlrst
Dear Mr. Doherty: Impression

When I joined your health club In January, I never suspected that I would expend Angry, accusatory Lone has
more energy dealing with red tape than burning calories on a treadmill. I am ..,. potential to destroy rapport
with reader
Incensed and outraged that your company made an unauthorized withdrawal
from my bank account after I cancelled my membership. Under the Prepaid
Services Act, automatic charges of this kind are Illegal. I backed out of the Clouds Justification for claim
contract within the 10-day coollng-off period, so I feel It Is unfair for me to be on ..,. - request with emotional
the hook for an Initiation fee and an addition al $19 to cover the cost of a plastic language
membership card that I will not have occa sion to use.

No wonder health clubs routinely make the Canadian Council of Better Business
Bureau's Top 10 Complaints list. May I remind you that companies like yours that
do not abide by provincial regulations are at serious risk of prosecution.
Ends with threat rather than
I demand to know when something will be done to correct this situation. Even expression of confidence In
thol.!lgh the amount Is relatively small- $69- lt Is the principle that Is at stake the adjustment

here. I want my money refunded- and I want It now. Unless you respond
immediately, I will not hesitate to register a complaint with the Ontario Ministry
of Consumer and Business Services and put the matter In the hands of my lawyer.
And I won't stop there.

Angrily,

Sean Acheson
 COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

FIGURE 6 .5

Effective Claim 4 Runclble Lane

Winnipeg, MB R6N 1U3
February 5, 2014

Mr. Richard Doherty, Manager

Atlas Fitness
24 lndustrlal Park Drive
Winnipeg, MB R6R 2Y7
Neutral subject line creates
focus for message
- -i-. Subject: Refund of Processing and Card Fees for Cancelled Membership 00583

Dear Mr. Doherty:

Opens with appeal to company
to stand by Its agreements to - - 1 - - -.... Please honour your service agreement and refund the $50 processing fee and
do the right thing $19 card fee that were deducted from my account In error foll owing the
cancellation of my membership on January 15.

I first visited Atlas Fitness on January 12 and signed up for a $789 one-year
Provides a cohcront,
,. membership. After touring your faclllty and consulting fitness experts on
unemotional explanallon
January 14, I realized that your programs are geared to advanced fitness
enthusiasts rather than beginners like myself. Because the contract I signed
followed provincial guidelines that allow for a 10-day cooling-off period, I
understood that I would be entitled to a full refund If I backed out of the
agreement within the trial period. Enclosed Is a copy of the letter sent to you
Supplies supporting
documentation
- -1--. by courier on January 15 In which I give official notification of the cancellation
of my membership.

When I received a statement from your company at the end of January, I was
surprised to find that processing and card fees totalIIng $69 had been charged to
me under the prepaid agreement that Is now void. These unauthorized charges
also appeared on my monthly bank statement. According to the cancellation
terms In the contract I signed, members who withdraw within the 10-day period
are not liable for processing and card fees.
Ends courteously with request
,. I Joined Atlas Fitness on the basis of Its fine reputation and standards In the
for specific action
fitness Industry. I am confident that this billing error can be corrected and that
you will honour my request for a refund without delay.

Sincerely,

Sean Acheson

Enc.
 6 I ROU T INE AN D GOO DW I LL ME SS A G ES

1. Make your request for an adjustment. State what you expect the reader to do to
solve the problem. You might expect t.he reader lo give you a refund, provide you
with a replacement, process a new order or cancel an existing one, repair or inspect a
prod uct for free, co rrect a hilling error, or review policies or proced ures that contrib-
uted to the problem you expe1ienced.
2. Iden tify th e faulty item or problem and ei.i>lai n logically and specifically why
your claim is justified. State what the reader needs to know to assess 1.he situation
and include pert.inent details and documents: place of purchase, date of purcha..~e.
part names, model number, warranty number, invoice num ber, names and dates
relating to previous calls about the problem, and a copy of the receipt, bill , or con-
tract. If you are uncertain about the cause of the problem, avoid guessing. Si mply
explain why the situation ls a problem for you and work on the assumption that
the company will want to do i.ts best to retain yo u a..~ a customer. Use objective,
unem otional language to motivate the reader by sh owing how reasonable you are.
Keep in mind 1.hat the person reading your request may not be responsible fo r the
problem, so avoid succumbing to anger. You may wan t to consider an alternative
solution if you suspect the company that you're writing to won't be able lo do exactly
as you ask.
3. End positively and pleasantly. Restate the action you have requested and ei.'Press
confidence in the settlement of your claim. End-date your request if you require a
speedy response. Keep a copy of your lette r in a file with other documents related to
your claim.

O Have you phrased the request so the reader views it posit ively?
O Is your request straightforward and specific? Have you stated your purpose at the
beginning rather than embedding it?
0 If there are multiple requests, are they introduced with a summary statement and then
presented individually in a numbered or bulleted list?
D Have you kept the number of questions to a minimum?
O Are the questions specific, concise, and phrased so the reader will know immediately
what you are seeking?
O Have you selected details that will help the reader respond more promptly and
completely?
O Have you told the reader how to and by w hen to respond ? Will t he reader know what
to do? Have you provided contact information?
O Have you expressed appreciation to t he reader for taking the trouble to respond?
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

response a message that answers
a rcqucsl or query.
Responses
A response is usually most effective when it is prompt, infom1ative, and gets to the point.
When you can respond favourahly to a request for information or action, you should
waste no time conveying the news and huilding goodwill when it is necessary to shape
readers' attitudes to policies or husiness practices. A routine response provides focused
details of a decision, answer, or action so readers can make infom1ed decisions, follow
through, or know what happens next. Here are a few tips for writing a good response:

Determine if you are the right person to handle the response. lf you do not have
the knowledge or authority to process a request, refer it to someone who does.
Rep ly as soon as you possibly can. A prompt response shows that you have taken
a request seriously and that you uphold good se rvice standards. Delays, especially
when they are unexplained, test reade rs' patience and strain business relationships.
Begin with good news or the most important piece of information. When you can
provide what t.he reader has requested, you should say so in the first sentence.
Design your response to be useful. Anticipate information your reader may need.
Respond within your company's ethical
guidelines. Disclose only the infom1at.ion your
reader has a right to know. Don't share legally
sensitive, potentially contentious details in an
effort to make yoin response ahsolutely com
Read Kim Garst's s Qualities of plete. Your letter is, in effect, a legal contract,
Companies with Outstanding Social and all facts and figures contained within it
Customer Service to learn how some
must he act1.Hate.
companies use social media to handle customer inquiries
Make your closing work for you. Avoid diches
and complaints: http://goo.gi/vH54Fs.
and expressions such as "l hope" or "l trust" that
might convey a lack of confidence . View your
dosing remarks as an opportunity to cement
relationships if they are in need of reinforcement.

Inquiry a message that asks for or
seeks Information. (An Inquiry or
lnrormatlon response Is a message
that supplies Information)
INFORMATION RESPONSE
A response to an inquiry (o r infom1ation request) should supply requested infom1ation
first wi thout the need for an introd uction. lt is unnecessary to confirm the receipt of a
request- which is evident from th e response itself-or to begin hy than.king the reader for
having written or having made an inquiry. Instead, include words of thanks afr.er the main
response or at the end, where they help to huild goodwill.

Cluttered: Thank you for your letter of July 14, received July 17, in which you requested
information on day trading.

Better: Here is a copy of our brochure, Day Trading: A Beginner's Guide.

When replying to multiple requests, answer questions in the orde r they were asked
and use headings, huller.eel or numhered lists, or other graphic highlighting techniques
to arrange information logically for maximum readability. lntrodm:e your answers with a
summary statement. Writing a complete and useful response may require you to interpret
 6 I ROUTINE AND GOODWI LL MESSAGES

FI GU RE 6 .6

Crysta l Communications Systems Effective Information

Response
702 Commercial Drive, Mississauga, ON M8N 2B4 I 905-553-8800 I www.CCS.ca
August 27, 2013

Ms. Maxine Sharpe

Mississauga Dispatch
77 Anglesey Avenue
Mississauga, ON M3N 2P1

Dear Ms. Sharpe:

Opens directly, with a summary
Here are answers to your questions about our employee recognition program. We ..,. statement to Introduce the
are pleased to supply you w ith details of a program that we believe has been an specific answers that follow

unqualified success.

1. Why did we introduce the program? Employees appreciate being noticed for a
job well done and for an idea that saves t ime or money. Like many organizations
today, we realized we could improve business and boost team spirit by giving
employees a public pat on the back. Our program was instituted to attract, retain,
and motivate people.

2. For what types of achievements do we give rewards? We give rewards for ..,. _ Answers each Inquiry
loglcally ancl fully In llst form
effective management, visionary leadership, outstanding creative ideas, and
initiatives that lead to cost savings.

3. What is the scope of our recognition program? Over the past year, we awarded
more than $65,000 to 76 winners, ranging from $450 to an employee who
noticed misleading wording in one of our brochures to a top award of $25,000
to a team of eight employees who designed an automated transaction system.
Roughly three hundred ideas are submitted each month, with awards given
monthly and annually. In the three years of the program's existence, there have
been close to four hundred award winners.

4. Do we anticipate any changes to our program in the future? Companies such as

GGI Technologies Inc. in Markham, Ontario, link rewards to company performance,
w ith engineers receiving public recognition in the form of stock options. Expanding
the program to include this type of reward merits our consideration.
Builds goodwlll with
Our recognition program is part of our commitment to maintaining a positive work ..,. - offer of other resources
experience for our employees. For additional information on our program, please see and assistance
the enclosed fact sheet or speak with me at 905553-8840. We w ish you the best for
your article and look forward to seeing our company represented in it.

Sincerely,

Aud rey Bryant

Vice President

Enc.
 CO MMU N I C ATI N G FO R RESU LTS

FIGURE 6 .7

Ineffective Information
Response (extract)
Opens with obvious
Information-that the request
has been received. Language
Is stiff and formal
First paragraph padde!d
with Irrelevant detalls
/ Thank you for your letter of Inquiry dated March 12. This Is to advise you that
we are now In receipt of this message. We are always glad to receive requests
of thi s kind and are happy to assist you with the research for your article on
employee recognition programs. I belleve your specific question s relate to
,.. the Impact of our program o n employee morale. There are many Issues to be
addressed, but we will try to answer what question s we can.

Second paragraph falls lo ~ Our program Is good for our employees. We give rewards-some nominal,
provide concrete details. No others quite substantial-for all ki nds of Initiatives, Including good Ideas and
evidence Is offered to prove leadership. Since the program was establlshed, many employees have seen their
why the program Is good"
good work rewarded.
Closing remarks sound Insincere
because little Information has - - 1 -+ We are glad to have helped. Good luck with your research.
been offered

hard-to-grasp facts and statistics and to anticipate questions your readers still might have
once their original inquiries are answered.

PERSONALIZED FORM LETTERS

Personalized form letters allow you to deliver the
same routine information without the inconvenience
o r retyping a message. Once composed, a message
can be sent in response to a recurring situation-
Watch the Goodwill Community as long as the message remains appropriate ror the
Foundation's instructional video on
situation for which it L~ used and answers questions
creating form letters in Microsoft Word:
the reader has asked. Word -processing software
http://goo.gl/2X1 EKo.
enables you to customize a message so it applies to
the reader. Simply merge your document with your
mailing list and use variable data fields to insert
names, dates, addresses, balances, or whatever infor-
mation is sped fie to the message. A we 11-written form let.ter provides a way to save time
personalized form letter alcner and money when sending order acknowledgements, requesting action from customers
In which the Identical message and suppliers, and supplying answers to frequently asked questions (FAQs) .
Issent to more than oneperson;
adapted to the 11\dlvldual reader
With the Inclusionof the reader's
name, address, and perhaps other ORDER ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
Information, all of which may oo
The ability to order on line or by telephone or e-maO has increased expectations for prompt
stored In adatabase and merged
With the form letter. replies to requests for goods and services. CLlst.omers are eager t.o know when and how
their transactions will be completed. An effective order acknowledgement answers this
order acknowledgement an need wit.h a message that is upbeat, efficient, and as concise as possible. The following
Informative lener that conftrmsthe
detailsof amerchand lse purchase template can be modified if you need to send an acknowledgement or conJirmation as a
and shipment. matter of courtesy, letting readers know that infom1ation or materials have been received:
 6 I ROUT I NE AND GOODWI L L MESSAGES

FIGURE 6 .8

TOP FOOD Sample Form Letter

99 St. Elizabeth Avenue East
Toronto , ON M2A 8G5

(Current date}

(Title} (First name} (Last name}

(Street address}
(City}, (Province} (Postal code)

Dear (Tltle) (Last name}:

We appreciate your Interest In the construction of our new Top Food Lakeview
superstore. The enclosed brochure highlights the superior shopping experience
that begins with our grand opening In June 2014.

Our new 5,500-square-metre faclllty will be our flagship store, offering

customers the best In quality produce and the largest selection of brands In the
Greater Toronto Area. Among the many amenities and conveniences you will
find are a pharmacy, shoe repair, hot-meals take-away counter, flower shop, dry
cleaners, and coffee bar. Our new location will be equipped with two hundred
underground parking spaces and an express checkout.

Please drop by for our open house on (date) to tour the store, sample our newest
product lines, and see for yourself the many ways In which we are committed to
making your shopping experience enjoyable.

In the meantime, we Invite you to continue shopping with us at our nearby

Duchess Park location. Shuttle service from our Lakeview store departs dally
at (time}.

We appreciate your patronage and look forward to offering you the best at our
expanded superstores and our Lakeview location.

TOP FOOD SUPERSTORES

Suzanne Wong
Customer Service Specialist

Enclosure
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

1. Acknowledge when and hc,w a shipment will be sent. There is no need to mmtion
that you received an orde r. Readers are most interested in knowing that a shipment is
on its way. Preface the 6rst paragraph with a personal salutation:

Dear Mr. Vukovic:

Your industrial air conditioning unit and invoice forms have been shipped to you by air
freight and should arrive by April 2.

2. Give details of the shipment and convince readers they have made a wise pur-
chase. As you specify individual items, build confldence in them hy refening to their
features or confirming their popularity. Mention any irregularities in the order (i.e.,
products currently unavailahle o r to he shipped later):

The air conditioning unit you ordered features a humidity-control mechanism that
allows you to regulate the amount of moisture in the air. Customers say that this
dehumidifying feature has kept their offices and residences comfortably cool while
helping them to reduce their summer energy costs.

3. Use discretion in pushing additional products. Gently suggest similar or related prod-
ucts and emphasize their benefits, hut avoid agbrressive sales tactics and the hard sell:

For your interest, we are enclosing a price list of Northwind Air Conditioning filter
attachments. Customers who have already purchased a customized Northwind Air
Conditioning unit from us receive an automatic 20 per cent discount on the purchase
of any anti-allergen or aromatherapy attachment.

4. Close pleasantly. Express appreciation for the readers business and include a for-
ward-looking, personalized remark:

We genuinely appreciate your order, Mr. Vukovic, and we look forward to serving
you again .

MESSAGES CONFIRMING CONTRACTS AND ARRANGEMENTS

A message of confim1at.ion sum marizes and clarifies any of the following:

the t.em1s of an agreement

an action or transaction th.at has taken place, including receipt of an invitatio n,
resume, or report
a decision
arrangements for a fumre event

The goal of a confirmation message is to confi m1 and explain details already estab-
lished in a related document or to put an oral agreement into writing. A message con-
fim1ing a contract helps lo ensure that t.he meaning of an agreement is shared by all parties
who enter into it, so that there is no confusion between the parties or any misunderstand-
ing that could lead to disputes. Confim1ation of an arrangement, including time-specific
events such as travel, meetings, conferences, and appointments, keeps planners and par-
ticipants onside so that they can properly coordinate their activities and ensure that those
activities have the int.ended outcome.
 6 I ROUTINE AND GOODWI LL MESSAGES

FIGURE 6 .9

Lakeside Polytechnic Institute Sample Letter Confirmi ng

School of Communlcatilon Arrangements

270 Albert Street, Toronto, ON, Canada MSW 109

Tel : 416-92().5990 Fax: 416-920-5940 www.lakeslde.ca

December 1, 2013

Mr. Ray Choudhary

Business Development Analyst
Fitzroy-McCormack Technology Ltd.
867 Mlllway Boulevard
Toronto, ON M9W 1E6

Dear Mr. Choudhary,

Thank you for agreeing to take part In communicating for Engineering Success:
Industry Standards, Practices, and Licensing;' a five-member panel session to take
place at Lakeside Polytechnic, S353 Richardson Hall, on Tuesday, December 17,
from 10:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m.

As we discussed over the telephone this morning, this session will Introduce the
350 undergraduate students enrolled In "Perspectives In Technical Communication"
to Professional Engineers of Ontario's licensing standards and collaborative
approaches to engineering communication. This letter confirms that you will speak
for 20 minutes, beginning at 10:30 a.m., on the topic "Globallzed Communications
In the Engineering Industry: A full program for the event Is attached.

Please arrive at the southeast entrance to Richardson Hall, 80 Temple Street, by

9:50 a.m. so that we may escort you to the lecture hall and set up your technology
for you. The hall ls equipped with a podium and full visual and sound systems for
the screening of PowerPolnt presentations and videos.

A luncheon for all participants will follow at 12:30 p.m. at Verdi's Restaurant,
located at 54 Elm Street, between Dundas and Gerrard Streets.

I am enclosing a map of the Lakeside Polytechnic campus and a parking voucher

redeemable at any of the Lakeside campus parkades. I look forward to meeting
you In person on December 17.

SI Merely,

Dlma Al Said
Coordinator, School of Communication

Enclosures
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
FIGURE 6.10
Ineffective Claim Response
(extract)
Addresses claimant on a flrst-
name basis- -too personal
Begins with admission of
negligence-pointing to a
chronic problem that has gone
unchecked
Falls to reveal good news
Immediately
Questions the validity of the
claim and sounds grudging In
granting the claim
Introduces promotional
Information at the wrong time
Apologizes eKcesslvely and ends
with a reminder of difficulty -
A message or confim1ation has several key functions:
highlighting the key tem1s and condi tions or a contract, includi ng the offer, obli-
gar.ions, rules for acceptance, and effective date, or the details of an arrangement,
including date, time, place, nature or purpose, and length or the event
showing appreciation to the reader for agreeing to participate in or helping to set up
the event o r arrangement
specifying and delegating tasks to he completed and identiFying administrative tasks
providing dear word ing that allows the reader to point out anything in the agreement
that is contrary to what he or she thought it should he
setting out actions the reader must take, such as signi ng and returning an agreement
Some letter agreemen ts, in w hich the recipient's signatme is required on the letter
itself to show agreement to the stated terms, can have the legal effect of contracts, so it
is always hest to check with a la wyer to detem1ine whether to use a contract or a letter
of agreement.
CLAIMS ADJUSTMENT
Consumer protection laws and the need to retain customers prompt most husi11esses to
grant claims and make swift adjustments in all hut those cases where claims are fraudu-
lent. Claimants typically want to learn the good news about a refund, replacement, or
other compensation at the begi n ning of your message. From the start, a claim response
rights a wrong resulting from poor service, poor product performance, or a hilling error.
Its purpose is threefold: (1) to inform a customer that his or her claim has heen successful,
Dear Alexi s:
The failure of our sales staff to honour our famous price-matching policy Is a
common occurrence. Nevertheless, we are extremely sorry for the Inconvenience
you must have suffered when you requested a discount at our Northrldge Mall
outlet. As a resu lt of past abuses of this polIcy, our staff Is sometimes over-
., scrupulous In demanding proof of our competitors' retail prices. Apparently,
/ the advertisement you presented did not seem to meet standards that would
qualify you for an In-store discount.
- Despite the weakness of your claim- and becau se we want to keep you
satisfied- we will allow you a refund of the price difference In this case.
-- Incidentally, If you are In the market for a printer capable of meeting the
needs of your small business, may we suggest the HP Deskjet 5150.
- Let us say again how very sorry we are for this problem. We sincerely hope It
doesn't happen again.
 6 I ROU T INE AND GOO DW I LL MESSA G ES

(2) to show how you intend to rectify the prohlem or resolve the complaint, and (1) to
repair customer relations, rehuild goodwi ll, and restore confidence. A prompt response
that reflects a thorough investigation of the problem and sounds happy ahout maki ng the
adjustment helps to repair the relationship with the customer and promote favourahle
at.t.itudes to your company.

FIGURE 6 . 11

Computer Central Ltd. Effective Cl aim Response

124 Queen Street East, Suite 601

Toronto, ON M5R 2T8
1-888764-3333
www.computercentral.ca

February 11, 2014

Ms. Amelia Sorensen

525 Gosling Lane
Toronto, ON M4G 2K7

Subject: Enclosed Price-Matching Refund

Dear Ms. Sorensen:

Announces good
The enclosed cheque for $158.85 demonstrates our commitment to our price-
news lmmeollately
matching policy and our desire to offer our customers quality brand-name products
at the lowest possible prices. Regains customer's confidence
with positive language and
When we received your letter, we immediately contacted our store managers and an explanation of the claim
asked t hem to review our price-matching policy with their sales associates. A few of Investigation, resulting
Improvements, and claim
our sales trainees, it seems, were not fully acquainted with our refund requirements, settlement
so we instituted a special training session and redesigned this portion of our website
to make it easier for both our employees and our customers to find this information.
We invite you to have a look the next time you visit us at www.computercentral.ca.

According to our guidelines, the advertisement you presented at the point of

purchase should have immediately qualified you for a discount. We are of course
happy to meet Computer Country's price of $2,199 for an Apatel XG package. Closes by conveying respect
Please accept the enclosed cheque and our appreciation for bringing this important - -1- for the reader and expressing
confidence In a renewed
matter to our attention. We look forward to offering you continued discount pricing business relatlonshlp
in the future.

Sincerely,

Meredith Anderson
Manager, Customer Service

Enc.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
claim adjustment a response to
a claim letter telling the customer
what a company Intends to do to
correct the problem.
goodwill message a message
that enhances the val uc of a
business beyond Its tangible assets
by cmatlng a bond offrlcndshlp
and establishing trust and mutual
understanding bclwccn the wrltor
and recipient.
A claim adjustment. is damage control in action. The reader should be ldt with a sense
of having bet:n dealt \vith fairly- and have every reason to want to do business with your
company again. When writing thL~ type of response, keep the follmving guidelines in mind:
1. Grant the adjustment.. Open with news oft.he favourable adjustment, using positive
and reader-focused lani,ruage. Apologize for any sii,rnificant error or problem that has
cost the reader time or money. Avoid alibis, excuses, and especially admissions of neg
ligence that could be used against your company in court.
2. Explain how you intend to make the adjustment. Give details of how you will
comply- worded carefully to take into account legal issues and company policy.
Consider how the language you use will affect t.he reader. Acknowledge that customer
feedback, like the kind you just received, helps your company improve its products
and service. Identify how you will prevent a recurrence of the problem, hut do not
admit fault or liability.
3. Close pleasantly. Don't rem.ind the reader of the problem or refer to unpleasantness.
lnstead, look forward to a continuing business relationship and build on the goodwiU
your explanation has already helped to re-establish.
D Do you have the knowledge and authorization to handle the response?
D If you are the right person to answer a request, have you responded as promptly as
possible?
D If a request was referred to you to answer, have you notified the letter writer that the
request has been forwarded? Does the first paragraph clearly state why someone
else- not the original addressee- is answering the inquiry?
D Does the first paragraph give the good news or answer the reader's most important
question?
D Is your response complete enough to meet the reader's needs? Have clarifying details
been included?
D Have you disclosed only what the reader has a right to know?
D As much as possible, have you answered questions in the order they were asked?
D As required, have you shaped the reader's attitude to t he information or the
organization by citing reader benefits?
D Does your message reflect goodwill and good business practices?
Goodwill Messages
The saying "it's t.he thought that counts" is true of goodwill messages. They show that
you are thinking of the reader and care about more than just your profit margin. Good\vill
messages aren't all business- they have a social function. They can say "thank you" to
readers o r show that you share their sorrow in loss and happiness in pe rsonal milestones
 6 I ROUTINE AND GOODWI LL MESSA GES

and achievements. With j ust a few words, After appearing on CBC's

they satisfy hasic human needs and rec- Dragons' Den In 2012,
Inventor Marco Longley
ognize what it is to he human, even in the
wrote personal thank
workplace. Goodwill messages put you in you letters to each of the
a positive light, enhance your visibility, and "Dragons. He received a
make people more wiJling to help you in the reply from David Chilton,
future. Sending them is not so much a matter which led to further
of business but of good husiness etiquette. communication and
eventually to Chilton
Such messages have the power to improve
Investing In Longley's
and soli dify relationships with customers product, T1he HEFT.
and co-workers. To be effective, goodwill Sourcoi Photo courw.sy Marco longloy

messages should he

1. Pers onal. Specific details make the

difference between an impersonal,
ston:-hought greeting and a message that is meaningful hecause it is ind ividualized.
Handwritten messages can convey genuine wam1th hett.er than computer-generated
ones, although letters set on company letterhead are always acceptahle. Address the
reader by first name if you know the person well.
2. Prompt. Send goodwill messages immediately, while the news and evenL~ that
inspired them are st.ill fresh in the reader's memory. The longer you wait, the less it
can seem that you care.
3. Spo11taneous, short, and sincere. Goodwi ll messages don't have to he long, but
they should sound sincere, as though you truly mean what you say. Avoid canned,
cliched expressions that suggest you are going through the motions just to win favour.
Instead, imagine what your reader would like to hear.

THANK-YOU LETTERS
If you or your company has henefited from what another person or organization has pro-
vided, such as hospitality, husiness, a gift, or a favour, it is important to ex11ress your grati-
tude with a brief but sincere letter. A good thank-you letter doesn't overplay or underplay thank-you letter (or letter of
expressions of gratitude. Its words of thanks are honest and meaningful, not just part appreciation) a message thanking
someone for his or her help,
of a hollow exercise. Skip generic statements and canned phrases and instead foc:us on hospitality, or business.
the reader:

1. Thank the reader for what he or she has done, given, or provided. Recall what it
consisted of by identifying the situation or your purpose in writing.
2. Include a few details. Show that you are not just standing on fomiality. Detail the
benefits you derived and why you are grateful. If you are expressi ng thanks for hos-
pitality, compliment your host on r.he food, company, or surroundi ngs. If you are
sending thanks for a brift, tell why you appreciate it and how you will use it. Express
than.ks for a favour by stating plainly what the favou~- means to you.
3. Close with goodwill or a forward-looking remark. Consider ending with a compli-
ment, funher thanks, or good wishes.
 COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

FIGURE 6 .12

Appreciation for Business

Highland Cleaning Services
165 Albany Avenue, Halifax, NS B2H 6B1
(902) 555-1717
www.HCS.ca

March 20, 2014

Mr. Henry Sutherland, Office Manager

Carlyle Information Systems
471 Water Street, Suite 400
Halifax, NS B2P 4C7

Dear Mr. Sutherland:

Opening Identifies relationship
and length of assodallon and _ _,_,._ Providing deaning and maintenance services to your corporate headquarters has
expresses gratitude been our pleasure for the past 1Oyears, and we sincerely appreciate your business.
Reminds recipient of pledge to With a new year ahead, you can continue to rely on us for careful, fully bonded
customer service and service
detailsand makes this relevant - - and insured cleaning services guaranteed to keep your premises spotless. Our
by use of you -attitude specialized 24-hour janitorial services come with our commitment to quality,
affordability, and customer satisfaction. As a long-time customer, you know
how cost-effective It Is to outsource commercial office maintenance and post-
construction cleanup.
Closes with personalized
gratitude and forward looking - Thank you for the confidence you have shown In our company. We look forward
statement
to serving you for many years to come.

Sincerely,

Susan MacDonald
President
 6 I ROU T INE AN D GOO DW I LL ME SS A G ES

FIGURE 6 . 13

Fiona Dubois Appreciation for Hospitality

14'h Brock Street
Guelph, ON
N2Y2K9

Mo..1141 2.014

5ose..i~i11e., CtMW.v-Jli
122 Mo.vle,wooo/ Avvtue.,
_ .. Handwritten on personal
stationery

Gudf1 ON N1L 6V4

\)~'( 5()5(.,p.t..lfl(.,:
Opening Identifies the
situation and describes It,
P~r ~ol J 11m11: yiXA -to KfliXIJ ~M 111v.ah, we.. utJ'je.,o/ 1:k o/iH>te.,v- you ~os-/:e.,o/ f/1(' using personalized details
o..ppv-orlice., CA:, I~ So.-lwo/o..l T~e., (;\lvti~ wo.s o.. llJ(,laow.e., l:iv-w.k fv-ow. tXAY- enhanced by you attitude

e.,iO-l'k pv-e.,p~o..1:iMS1 ~o/ llJ(, 1\1(.,y-e., ~i~/y t~e.,o/ ~ -1,/,..e., VJ().Y-111 v-we.,pfiOl1
you 1o..ve., us. ~ow supab J1:~iiM CJJoKW[ iMol 3v-~1: o/irne.,v--f:frf!L aix.tVUS().-/:iOl'l
oktofrf:e.,/y $.ACCuo/e.,o/ (fl -/:o..ki~ IXA'f 11'1.iflo/S ~f IXAY' siuo(ie.,s fl1f' -/:k (.,fl-{;(y-e.,
e.,vwi,1Jv.s-1: o.s you ~o..ol p/().H>te.,o(.
Closing expresses warm
We., o.v-e., to.-idul !11f' youv- !&to/ ~ospi-l:o..lrly ~ol -lk d.(J..flCe., to 3d -to kwm - -+-- apprecl atIon for hospitality
you !?d-l:e.,v- T~ ytXA '1'"ifl f11f' ~i, & e.,vvti' su~ o.. spwio..I IJl1(.,

~ouv-s -/xv.I~

F'iOV1.o:-
 COMMUNICATING FOR RESULTS
FIGURE 6 .14
Appreciation for Service
or Favour
Opening thanks the recipient
for what she provided
Next paragraph specifically
recall swhat the service/favour
consisted of
Tells recipient of benefit derived
from service/favour
Closes with flnal expression of
appreciation
4400-27 Pacific Way
Victoria, BC V6W 2L7
November 30, 2013
Ms. Naomi Perkins, Reference Librarian
Simon Andrews Memorial Library
Blackstone University
Victoria, BC V9C OZ9
Dear Ms. Perkins:
- -1-+_ We appreciated the chance t,o learn about your Impressive collection of
business-related books, periodicals, and electronic resources when we touredl
your library last week.
- - The visit was the high light of our Introductory business course and gave us much
Insight Into the kinds of resources available to us as we pursue more specialized
studies. Your explanation of how to use the Information Commons Resource
Centre left us with an In-depth understanding of how to locate and retrieve the
types of materials we are mo.st likely to need. We especially appreciated your
thorough Introduction to the business-related e-journals and your expert
demonstration of how to use the on line databases. These research tools will be
-.. very helpful to us In our business studies. We very much appreciated learning
about the special corporate partnerships sponsored by your library and look
forward to tapping Into this key resource for future research projects. Your library
Is a state-of-the-art facility.
- - We are very grateful for the care you took In answering our questions and
organizing a tour geared to our academic Interests. Under your guidance, we are
now well prepared to make the best possible use of the resources In your library.
On behalf of our entire group, I thank you.
SI ncerely yours,
Aaron Grey
 6 I ROU T INE AN D GOO DW I LL ME SS A G ES

LETIER OF CONGRATULATIONS
A letter or congratulations expresses happi ness at a readers good fortune. Because your letter of congratulations a
good wishes should seem genuine, it is important to avoid lanb'l.lage that might sound message corwaying plaasuro
at someone'sllapplness or
patronizing- such as a put-down masquerading as praise (e.g., it seems only yesterday good wisheson someone's
you were a struggling young writer from the wilds of lilkrm, hungry for that elusive byline)- or accomplishment
anything to suggest that an honour isn't dese rved. Show that you share in the reader's hap-
piness hy using words that correspond to the occasion, not ones that sound falsely effusive
or hollow.

FIGURE 6 . 15

Krasner and Associates Advertising Agency Letter of Congratulations

1025 Wil~on Drive

Winnipeg, MB R2E OG3
(204) 555-3376 telephone
(204) 555-3388 fax
www.Krasner.ca

August 15, 2013

Vin cent Martin

VlnMart Advertisements
437 Sinclair Street
Winnipeg, MB R2E 2F6

Dear Vincent:
Commends recipient on well
deserved honour, using Its exact
Your Creativity In Advertising Award Is long overdue and well deserved. I can title, and reflects on Its meaning
think of few Individuals who have contributed as much as you have to the and the actlvltles that merited It
advertising Industry. With their unique combination of humour and brand
enhancement, the campaigns you spearheaded always reflected the Ingenuity
for which you are now being recognized. Members of the department Join me
In expressing our heartiest congratulations upon your achievement.

You were greatly missed when you left to establish your own agency, but we
take much pleasure In offering our good wishes for your continued success.
- Closing relte rates personal
good wishes

Cordially,

Sonia Vargas
Vice President, Creative Division
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
letter of sympathy (or
condolence) a message expressing
sadness at someone's bereavement
and offering words of comfort.
FIGURE 6 .16
letter of Sympathy
Handwritten lcttN on personal
stationary
Immediately offers condolences;
uses appropriate words
Recalls positive attrl butcs
of the deceased
Offers assistance
LETIER OF SYMPATHY
Responding to loss is always difficult. A letter of sympathy lets your reader know you
care and are ready to offer help and support, if required. The message should be hand
written and sent as soon as possible afte r you learn of the be reavement. Your purpose in
writing is to express your sadness at learning of the reader\; loss and to offer sym pathy.
Your first sentence should refer to the loss-and your reaction to it- in a tactful way. If
you knew the deceased as an acquaintance or personal friend, recall positive auriibutes for
which that person will be rememhered. Offer something you can do, such as personal help
or business-related assistance. The reader may find it difficult to absorb more than a few
paragraphs, so keep the message brid and its sentiments sincere. After all, a sympathy let
ter should be a source of comfort and support.
John MacDougall
18 Park land Tcm1.cc
Prince Albert, SK
S4N 107
Nl().y 101'l.013
- -1-+; !>w.r Nlil"i<M-;
... j wo.s so sovvy 1:0 f...w.y of youir loss. P/w..se, Mae,pi my o(upesl syl'kpo:t~iu; o.1:
~is til'k(,.
- - 'But WM (). ki11.o( Nto1 1:0..lurf:e.o( i11.o(ivio(l).().I J..ose. k.wile.o(f- 0-.11.o( o(e.o(ia().tiM.
alMlrihuie.o( yw.{/y -lo 1:~e. suaau;s ol' OIAV' aw...ip0-.11.y Nlo..y ytXA ~o..ve. ik caw.furl,
1
of kl1.ow, f..OJJ l'WA~ ~e. wo..s v-u;pwte.o( by o..11 i11. OIAY' or~il.o..1:Wt\ Ntof f..OJJ ~
k will be. r...iisse.o(
,.. ~OIAY' rno..11.y fY'iuto(s ~e,ye, ().t Ma!>~o../11 Ki.s/., Joi11. r...ie. il'I offu, o..ssisto..11.ae..
Ple.o..se. o(o 11.oi ~e,srf;().fe, 1:0 lt-i us k11.ow Nw we. l'kO-Y ~df
Si11.audy1
 6 I ROUTINE AND GOODWI LL MESSA GES

Informative Letters
Some types of informative letters are neither requests nor responses. Their purpose is Informative letters messages
explanatory-to simply let readers know what somethi ng is or to keep t.hem up to date on that provtde lmportant/mlevanr
lnformallon and ro which the
changi ng policies, personnel, or circumstances. reader w111 react neulrally.

ANNOUNCEMENTS
Announcements keep readers inrormed of company policies, events, and personnel announcement a message
changes-something as sim ple as a change of address or as major as a company merger. that makos something known
about a company policy, event, or
When the news you have to deliver is positive or neutral, use the direct approach and personnel ch<inge.
keep in mind that announcement leuers are opportunities not only to pass on informa-
tion but also to promote goodwill. A typical announcement gives its most im portant news
first and then moves on to clarify details that answer questions readers are likely to have.
If there are negatives, make them clear hut try to present them as positively as possible.
Explain any read er benefi ts, pointing out how a product, policy, or dealing with the com-
pany is good for the reader.

Goldsmith Press is pleased to announce the appointment of Jocelyn Harwood as its director
of marketing. Ms. Harwood has more than ten years' experience in the publishing industry
and most recently worked as assistant marketing director at Manticore Publishing. She joins
us as we expand our business publishing division and brings with her extensive experience
in marketing texts to colleges and universities.

COVER OR TRANSMITTAL LETIERS

A cover or transmittal letter accompanies something you are sending to someone inside cover letter (or transmittal
or outside your organization-a report, proposal , or shipment of materials. It identifies letter) an Informative letter that
accompanies materialssent from
what is being sent and the reason for sending it. The message serves as a permanent record one person to another explainIng
of t.he exchange of goods or information. The more important your document o r material why those materials are being sent.
is, the more essential it is r.o type a transmittal leller r.o accompany it rather than try to
squeeze handwritten information on a sticky note or piece of paper.
Follow these steps when writing a cover letter;

1. Iden tify what you are sending. Your phrasing depends on how fri end ly or fom1al
you want to he:

Enclosed is a proof copy of the article you recently wrote for us.

I am pleased to enclose a proof copy of the article you recently wrote for us.

Here is a proof copy of the article you recently wrote for us.

2. Briefly summarize the attached document or describe the enclosed materials.

Call attention to seer.ions of particular imerest.

"Minding Your Periods and Commas is a welcome addition to Vol. 7 of Resources far
Business Writers.
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

3. Point out important details. Help the reader understand the document or give
instructions on how to use the materials. Have all t.he items the reade r requested heen
sent as promised? ls the document a draft or a final ve rsion? Will other documents
or materials he forwarded lat.er? Are there recommendations or findings the reader is
likely to support?

The proof copy you received reflects minor editorial changes, including the
abbreviation of some subheadings.

4. Offer further assistance or tell the reader what happens next. State what you wi ll
do or tell r.he reader what to do if you expect action or a response. Give a deadline if
needed, then close in a friendly or helpful way, perhaps hy expressing hope that the
material will fulfill its purpose.

Please examine your copy carefully to make sure it contains no typographical or

factual errors. If you have changes to suggest, please call my office by June 4 so
that we can be begin production on June 6. You should expect to receive a copy of
Resources for Business Writers in early July.

INSTRUCTIONAL LETIER/MEMO
lnstructions systematically explain a process, activity, or operation and make it doable for
the average reader. Directives sh.are important in rom1ation abont what employees nrnst
do as a result o r changes in regu.lations, policies, or day today procedures. Anyone who
works responsibly will read and/or write instructions and directions on a regu lar basis.
Because staying competitive and working responsibly involve keeping pace with new tech
nologies and regulations, instructions and directives help organizations ensure that those
technologies can he used effectively and that new rules and procedures are complied \vith.
Written as e-mail messages, memos, or letters, these types of routine messages enahle
work to he carried out legally, eth ically, and safely, without costly mistakes. It is generally
nnderstood that readers have no trouble accepting instructions and directives, so use a
direct approach when writing instructions.
Without instructions, it would he impossihle to learn how to use or operate office
equipment, industrial machinery; or any other device; it would he difficult to learn a new
task, for example, how to use a new software application or hold a web conrerer1ce. Good
instructions display the following characteristics:

Clear and accurate: There should he no amhiguity or guesswork involved iii follow
ing the instructions. Because inst.ructions are used on the spot and lead to immediate
action, there is no margin for error. The logically ordered steps into which a proced-
ure is divided should he ohvious and self-explanatory.
Precise: lnst.rnct.im1s should include no more and no less than what readers need
to know. Attention to phrasing is essential. Positive phrasing t.bat emphasizes what
readers should do is easier to follow and understand than negative phrasing, which
emphasizes what readers must not do. Exact times, amounts, and measurements
should he used to quantify details.
 6 I ROUTINE AND GOODWI LL MESSA GES

Complete: Missing or out-of-sequence steps can lead to non-performance, damage,

or injury. Any warn ing or caution should be previewed at the beginning or high
lighted in the step to which it applies. Specialized terms must he defined. Effective
instructions are self-suFficient, with no need rnr the reader to seek information from
another source.
User-friendly: Audience analysis is important, so take nothing for granted and
include hask information that a reader with no knowledge of the procedure would
nee<.H to achieve the desired result. lists and numbering make the steps easier to fol-
low and make information easier to find .
Action-oriented : The active voice and imperative (command) mood give instructions
clarity and authority. Each step in the sequence should bebrin wi th an action verb.
Parallel phrasing and similar structures focus attention on the actions readers must
take, while transitions (next, before) help to mark the time sequence and keep steps in
order.

Writing instructions that meet these guidelines involves a systematical approach:

1. Be sure you understand the procedure well enough to explain it, either from having
perfom1ed it yourself or having seen an expert demonstrate it.
2. Assess your audience's familiarity with the proced Ul'e and determine the right levels
of technicality and explanation. Think about. how and in what. circumstances the
instructions will he used and whether you must persuade readers that the instructions
are beneficial or necessary.
3. Include an introduction, a lLst o r equipment and materials, a description of the steps,
and a conclusion.
4. Provide warnings tr there is a risk of damage or inji1ry.
5. Explain the purpose (the what and the why) of tl1e procedure or activity in the
introduction.
6. Organize your inrormation in short, manageable numbered steps, each beginning
with an action ve rh and an anged in chronological sequence, or in paragraph fom1,
usin.g 1.rnnsitional words and signal phrases. Note tl1e relationship or impact of one
step on another.
7. Use headings to divide long lists of steps into shorter sections.
8. Give warn ings, hut only when necessary, to show how mistakes can lead to damage or
injury. Note the consequences o r missing a step or performing a step incorrectly
9. Use visuals to repeat or reinforce prose descriptions.
10. Put the procedure in perspective hy commenting on the result or outcome it L~ meant
to ac.:hieve.

Dimctives let employees know what to do--when an activity or requirement takes

effect, what it involves, and where it takes place. Figure 6.17 is an example of a b'TOUp
e-mail message that comhi.nes features of directives (telling readers what they must do)
and instructions (telling I.hem how they must do it).
COMMUNI C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

Subject: New Scheduling Procedure for Project Planning Meetings

From: Ella Hanczyk <ehanczyk@intellasource.ca>
Sant: Mon., April 14, 2014 10:33 AM
To: Ross Jacobs <rjacobs@intellasource.ca>, Amil Mohammed <amohammed@intellasource.ca>,
Jessica Bourke <jbourke@intellasource.ca>, Amy Chan <achan@intellasource.ca>, AnnaMaria
Casareno <mcasareno@intellasource.ca>, Chantal Provost <cprovost@intellasource.ca>

Hello everyone,

To help us in selecting dates and times that can accommodate the most people in attending all future
project planning meetings, you will now be asked to vote using the free online scheduling tool Dood le.
Doodle makes it easier for groups to find the right day and time for a meeting by enabling users to vote
democratically and transparently for their preferred meeting times and activities. No registration or
software installation is required.

Please follow these instructions to participate in the poll for the May project planning session:

1) Click on the following link: http://rollins.doodle.com/ bwa9jpw5cf2ed9np. (Please note:

You do not need to log in at the top.)
2) Scroll down to type your name into the box marked "Your Name.
3) Click the boxes that correspond to the times and dates you are available to attend the next
project-planning session.
4) Click the save button.

The poll will be closed on Friday, April 25, and at that point we will choose the date and time that
works best for most of you.

Thanks,
Ella

FIGURE 6 .17

Sample Directive/Instructional Message (E-mail)

Cl Do you get to the point immediately?

Cl Does the first sentence summarize your key information or request?
Cl If the purpose of the message is to make a request, is the request specific rather than
implied?
Cl Have you used lists when appropriate to organize details, prioritize questions, and
sequence instructions?
Cl Have you supplied all details needed for the reader to act on information or a req uest?
Cl Have you disclosed only what the reader has a right to know?
Cl If follow-up is required, have you end-dated a request for action or information?
 6 I ROUTINE AND GOODWI LL MESSA GES

Letter Formats
The appearance of a document is a re nection of the professional standards of the writer
and the organization to which that person hdongs. Well-prepared letters are accurately
typed and use standardized formats that make them app ear attractive, well proportioned ,
and halanced on the page. They follow standard practices and conventions--many of
them cen.turi es old- accordi ng to how th eir elements are arranged and styled.

LETIER BALANCE AND PLACEMENT

A professional-looking lette r is centred venically and h orizontally on the page, like a
picture formed hy hlocks of text surrounded by an even frame of hlank space. Word-
processing software provides templates for correspondence that make it relatively easy
to centre a letter on a page. In these programs, the standard default setting for margins--
which create the hlan.k frame- is l inch (2.54 centimetres), hut you may have to adjust
your margins to balance and give a fuller appearance to very short letters. For let.ters of
two hund red words or less, increase margins to 11(2 inches (J.81 centimetres) and leave
four to ten lines blank after the dateli ne instead of the usual two or three. Letters with
"ragged ," or unjustified, right margins are easier to read, so tum off the justification fea- ragged right margins (or
ture on your word -processing program. Before you prin t, check for proportion and make unjustified margins) margins
that end unevenly on the right side
su re your letter is pleasing to the eye by using the preview or full-page feature. of the page.

LETIER STYLES AND LAYOUTS

The most common fom1ats or styles for business letters are full block, modified hlock, full-block letter style a letter
and simplified. The choice of letter fom1at is usually determined by the company, but it format In which all elements are
aligned at the left margin.
is important to he familiar with all styles so you can use them accurately when special cir-
cumstances call for th em. modified-block letter style a
letter format In which lhe return
address. datel lne, complimentary
LETIER ELEMENTS close, and signature block are
aligned just to the right of centre
Professi011al-looking husiness letters have multiple parts that are arranged in a conven- page and all oltier elements are
aligned at the lert margin.
tional sequence. Properly used, each part has a specific unction. For a letter that is hal-
anced and easy to read, double space between elements and single space within: simplified letter style a lener
format In which the salutation Is
Standard Elements Optional Elements replaced by a subject line and the
complimentary close-except for
Heading/return address Reference line
the writer's name and signature-
Dateline Delivery/confidential notation ls omlned.
Inside address Attention line
Salutation Subject line
Message Identification initials
Complimentary close Enclosure notation
Signature block Copy notation
Postscript
Continuation page heading
 CO MMU N I C A TI N G FO R RESU LTS

FIGURE 6 . 18 Full-Bloch Letter Style (without letterhead)

Letter Formats
xxxxxxxxx
xxx.x.xxx
xxxxxxx
xxx.xxxxxx

Dear: - All parts aligned

:bi_::~ - -- --~ at left margin
XXlOiXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXlOiXXXXXJC)tXXXXXXXXXXX
xxxxxxxxxxxx.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.xxxxxxxxxxxx
xxx.xxxxxxxxx.xxxxxxxx.xxxxxxxxx.xxxxxxxx.xxxx
xxx.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.xxxxxxxxxxxxx

xxx.xx.xxxxxxx Modified-Block Letter Style

(without lettt:rhead)

xxxxxxxxxxxx
xxx.xxxxxx
xxx.x.xxx
xxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxx

Dear:
Subject:
XXX)CXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX)CXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XX)(J(XXXXX)(:X)(J(XXXXXX)(J(XXXXX)(:X)(J(XXXXXX)(J(XJ<X
xxxxxxxxxxxx.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.xxxxxxxxxxxx
XXXXXXXXXXX)(J(XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX)(J(XXX

Simplified letter Style

xxxxxxxxx
xxx.xxxx
xxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxx Return address, dateline, and
complimentary close begin
Subject Linc just to the r1ght of the centre
xxxxxxxxxxxx.x.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.xxxxxxxxxx of the page
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.xxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxx.x.xxxxxxxx.xxxxxxxx.x.xxxxxxxx.xxxxxxxx.x.xxx

Wrttert. Name

All parts allgned at loft margin.

Format Includes subject line
but omits the salutation and
complimentary close
 6 I ROUTINE AND GOODWI LL MESSA GES

Letterhead/Return Address
The 81/i by 11- inch (21.6 by 27.9-centimetre) stationery used by most businesses is usu-
ally printed with a letterhead that features the following in romiation: company name, full letterhead a p~nlcd heading on
address, telephone and fax numbers, and, if applicable, a wehsil.e address and company company sratJonery, con raining
the addressof an organization
logo. When a letter extends beyond one page, use letterhead for the first page and plain
or lndlvldual, bur nor the
sheets for the subsequent pages. For personal letters-when it isn't possible to use printed lndlvtdual's name.
letterhead- type your return address immediately above the date, avoiding abbreviations
except for the two-letter provincial code. In full-block style letters, the return address is
aligned at the left margi n and no line of the address should extend beyond the centre of
the page. ln modified-block style letters, the return address block starts just to the right of
the cent.re o r the page and alib'TIS with the complimentaly dose. Neve r include your name
as part of the return address because it is typed at the end o r the lette r.

Dateline
On company letterhead, the dateline appears at the left margin two r.o three lines below dateline Identifies the date on
the last printed line of the letterhead. Usually, this corresponds to line U, 2 inches which a message was written.

(.5 centimetres) from the top of the page. In modified-block style letters, the date appears
on the next line after the return address, alii,'Tled with rit at the centre of the page. The
most common date style L.~ Month Day, Year (February 22, 2014). Ordinal~ (1st, 1rd,
14th, et.c.) should not he used, and the months should not he represented as abbrevia-
tions. ln European correspondence, the dateline assumes the Day Month Year fomiat
(22 February 2014)

Delivery/Confidential Notation
Delivery/confidential notations identify the method o r transmission-SPECIAL DELIVERY, dellvery/confldentlal notation
FAX TRANSMISSION-and who is authorized to open the letter-PERSONAL, CONFTDENTIAL. an optional lettor tllemcnt
Identifying how a message Is
This information is typed in capital letters or italics two lines above the inside address. transmitted and who Is authorized
ro open and read It.
Inside Address
The inside address identi fies the person and/or company to whom the letter is being Inside address a standard letter
sen t. Plac:ed flush wi.th the left margin, it consists or two to five single-spaced lines that use clement supplying the name and
full address of the recipient.
both upper- and lowercase letters. Depending on the length of the letter, leave anywhere
from two to ten blank lines between the dateline and the inside address (two to three is
usually sr.andard). No line of the address should end with a comma or extend beyond t.he
centre of the page. If an item is long, continue it on the next line and indent two spaces.
Obtaln accurate information for the inside address from the addressee's company letterhead
or the receivi ng company's human resources departmen t. Copy this infomiation exactly.
spell it correctly, and avoid abbreviations. The first line begins with the person's courtesy
title- Ml'.'., Ms. (applies to women unless a preference for Mrs. or Miss is known), Dr., the
llonourable. Omit the courtesy t.itle only if the addressee's gender is unclear or unknown. A
business or professional title-Chair, Trr.asun:r- may follow the surname on the same line
or on the next line if the tit.le is long. Abhreviat.e the names of provinces and territ01i es (AB,
BC, YT, etc.). Leave two spaces, then type the postal code (e.g., Toronto, ON M5S 3K7):

Ms. Elenor Rutherford

Director of Sales
Boditree Inc.
2700 Broad Street
Victoria, BC V9A 7N2
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
attention line an optional lcncr
clement Identifying the Individual,
officer, or depa1tment to whom or
which the lener should be directed.
reference line an optional
lmer clement Identifying a me or
policy number.
salutation a letter greeting
Identifying the Individual for whom
the lotter Is lnlcndcd, Including
the recipient's personal titieand
surname (e.g., Dear Ms. Gil~.
subject line an optional lener
element that Identifies the content
or focus of a message.
Attention Line
An attention line is used when you are directing your correspondence to a department
within an organization or to the holder of a particular position rather than t.o a specific per-
son. It helps to ensure that someone in that department- not necessarily the person to whom
the letter is directed- will open the letter and deal with it immediately An attention line
should he placed flush with the left margin, two blank lines above or below the salutation:
Web Hosting Enterprises
50 Rossiter Avenue
Toronto, ON M4L 3G9
ATIENTION: MARKETING DIRECTOR
Reference Line
A reference line identifies a file number or policy number. It appears two lines above the
salutation.
Salutation
The salutation- a greeting that is used with all letter styles except the simplified style- is
typed flush wi th the left margin one blank Line below the inside address or attention line.
It can take the following fo rms:
Dear Mr. Chisolm: (coiirtesy tit.le, s urname, and colon are standard)
Dear Ms. Vasari: (courtesy title for women regardless of marital status)
Dear Francesca: (when you are on a first-name basis with the recipient)
Dear T. Sutherland: (when you are unsure of the recipient~ gender, use an
initial and surname or fi rst name and surname)
Dear Sir or Madam: (when you don't know the name of the recipient and
have used an attention line)
Ladies and Gentlemen: (when you don't know the names of the reci pi.ents and
have used an attention line)
Dear Sales Representatives: (when addressing a group)
Dear IT Professionals:
Dear Customer: (when addressing a member of a group)
Dear Colleague:
Generally, the salutation is followed by a colon; in less traditional open-punctuation style,
the colon is omitted .
Subject Line
The subject line can be placed flush left two lines above or two lines below the salutation,
depending on your employers letter-fom1atting preferences. Written in capital letters, regu-
lar font or italics, this optional eLement briefly identifies the content or focus of a message
and rarely exceeds one line. A good subject line is specific and concise, like a well-written
headline. lt summarizes information that is neutral and highlights news that is good:
SUBJECT: IMPROVED HEALTH BENEFITS PACKAGE
RE: SPEAKERS FOR RETIREMENT PLANNING SERIES
Subject: Request for Updated Schedule
 6 I ROUTINE AND GOODWI LL MESSA GES

Message Body
The body of the message begins two lines below the salutation. The message is sin-
gle-spaced within parabrraphs and double-spaced between them. It should occupy the
middle o f the page, not the lop or bottom . With the exception of modified-block style,
which allows you the option of indenting paragraphs. begin each new paragraph at the
left margin .

Complimentary Close
Typed two lines helow the last line of the letter, the ending Sincerely (followed by a comma)
Ls standaTd. Some employers prefer Yrmrs sincerely or Yciurs truly. Less follllal expressions,
such as Cordially, Best wishes, and Regards, are also common, especially if the recipient Ls a
friend. Only the first letter of a complimentary close Ls capitalized. The simplified style complimentary close the word
letter omits I.his element. Generally, the complimentary close Ls followed by a comma, but of formal closing (often Sincerely)
after the body of the letter and
this punctuation is omitted in open-punctuation style.
before lhe slg natum.

Slgnatu re Block
After the complimentary dose, leave four blank Lines (room for your signature) and type
your name. This part of a leu.er is known as the signature block Your title may appear on signature block the part of a
the same line, separated from your name by a comma, 01 he placed on the next line. Add letter that Includes the writer's
name, title, at'ld organizauon In a
a courtesy title in parentheses before your name if it is not readily distinbruishahle as male neatly formatted arrangement
or female :

Sincerely, Yours truly, Sincerely,

H~ T{)./<CM<.oi o
PL INDUSTRIES Harry Takamoto, Sue Roth, Manager
Project Manager Technical Services
(Ms.) Pat Quinn
Executive Assistant

Identification Initials
There are two types of identification initials. Capitalized initials, followed by a colon, Identification Initials the part
ind icate who wrote the letter; lowercase indicate who typed it. Wh en a personal sib'Tlature of a letter that Indicates the
wrller (capital letters) and iyplst
Ls shown in the signature block. the writer\; initials are omitted : (lowercase letters) of a message.

GB:hw

hw

Enclosure Notation
An enclosure notation (ahhreviated Enc:. or Encs. or spelled out as Enclosure or Enclosures) enclosure notation the part of
lndicates enclosed or attached material- a hrochure, invoice, ari.icle, etc.- accompanying a letter that lr'ldlcates enclosed
or attached material that
a letter. It may tell the reader something about the enclosed item(s) or specify the number accompanies a document
of enclosures:

Enclosure: Claim Form 523

Enclosures (3)
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

copy notation the part of a letter
that lndlCiltcs that copies of a letter
have been sent to lncllvldualsother
than the addreSS<le.
Copy Notation
A copy notation (c or cc) indicates that copies of the letter have been sent to individuab
other than the addressee. When several individuals receive the letter, their names are
stacked one on top oft.he other:
c R. Pettigrew
J. Espinet

FIGURE 6 .19

Putting t he Elements _____- Magnatel

Together -------- -:-:-=-
~ 465 Hastings Avenue, Hamilton, ON L95 4L3
Letterhead ~--- (905) 743-8 129 www.magnatel.ca
Align elements at le ft margin ___ _
(1 lnch/2.5 cm) ; January 28, 2014

Dateline (liM thirteen, or two ./

/ Ms. Justine Ducette, Manager
to three lines below letterhead)
Frontenac Language School
lnsld<! address (two to ten blank __.- -""' 533 Rue St. Germaine
lines below dateline)
Quebec City, QC G1C 2H4

Salutation ... Dear Ms. Ducette:

Can the Frontenac Language School provide intensive language training and
accommodations for 20 Magnate! employees from April 28 through April 307
Double spacing between _ _ __,__...
paragraphs
Your language school was recommended by several of our suppliers. Our company is
currently expanding Its operations In Quebec and New Brunswick and must be able to
ensure that our regional sales and customer service representatives possess a high level of
speaking, reading, and writing proficiency in French. Employees who have been selected
for our Quebec and New Brunswick operations have a minimum six years of French
language training but require a "refresher so they may communicate with confidence. Will
you please answer the following questions regarding the Frontenac Language School.

Do you offer pre-course assessments to determine each student's conversational fluency?

Do you have a oneonone program for students requiring more Intensive training?
Can you adapt your training sessions to help our group acquire the technical and business
terminology they will need to deliver quality service to our French-speaking customers?
If you cannot provide accommodations for all group members, can you recommend
hotels and guesthouses located nearby?

I would be grateful for answers to these questions by February 17. Our Quebec operations
committee meets at the end of February to finalize our start-up details.

Sincerely,
Signature block (ldentlfles
- - --1-...
author and title)

Harry Ferguson
Manager, Human Resources
ldentlflcatlon Initials (Indicate
author and typist) - - HF:sr
3-6 spaces at the bottom of
- -- -1-..
the page -
 6 I ROU T INE AN D GOO DW I LL ME SS A G ES

Continuation Page Heading

lf a message cannot fit on a si ngle page. at least three lines of text should he carried ove r
to any continuation sheet. Each new sheet should have a continuation page heading with continuation page heading
the recipient's name, the page number, and the date. Thls information can go in the upper a haadlng that Identifies the
second and succeeding pages of
left-hand comer or can run across the page 0.5 to 1 inch (l.25 to 2.5 centimetres) helow a lener; lt\Cludes the name of the
the tnp edge. addressee. date, and page number.
The full-block style infom1ation-request letter in Figure 6.19 features many of the ele-
ments j ust men tioned.

ADDRESS ING ENVELOPES

Follow Canada Post guidelines for formatting envelopes:

On envelopes without a pre-pri nt.ed return address, the return address should he
formatted in the same way as the desti nation ad dress and located in the upper
left-band com er.
ln both the return add ress and the add ress block, the municipality, province or terri -
tory, and postal code should appear on the same line.
Postal codes should he printed in uppercase. and the first three elements should he
separated from the last three by one space.
Affix the stamp(s) in the upper right-hand corner.

O Use the three-step direct writing plan for positive and neutral messages that request,
respond, convey goodwill, and inform.
0 Begin request letters with a purpose statement, then introduce multiple requests with
a summary statement, arrange your questions in list form, use details that will help the
receiver respond, and close with an end-date, request summary, and appreciation.
O Determine if you are the right person to respond to a message; if so, answer promptly,
begin with the most important information or a summary statement, answer each
inquiry logically and fully in list form, include additional information based on an
analysis of the receiver's needs, disclose only the information you can give, and show
sincerity and goodwill in closing.
0 Use confirmations to clarify terms of a contract or agreed-upon course of action,
summarize transactions that have taken place or decisions that have been made,
and document shared understanding of activities requiri ng coordination and
equal knowledge.
O Write a claims adjustment to restore goodwill and inform a customer of the actions
your company intends to take to correct a problem he or she has justifiably brought
to your attention.
O Use a three-step writing plan in making an adjustment: grant the adjustment, explain
how you will make it, and close without reminding the receiver of the problem.
O Write goodwill messages to establish rapport and build business relationships by
showing empathy, respect, and consideration.
O Write cover or transmittal messages to explain or describe accompanying materials and
identify the reason for their transmission.
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

i[ WORKSHOPS AND DISCUSSION FORUMS

1. Applying the Direct Approach. Rearrange tb e paragraphs in t.he following extract from a request letter accord ing to
the d irect-approach \VTi ting plan.

My supervisor at KDS Laboratories has asked me to Investigate car-fleet leasing

options. Our sales representatives require reliable, low-maintenance, fuel-efficient
sedans for servicing their territories throughout Ontario and Quebec. Our current
lease expires August 31. We will require twenty vehicles.

I would be grateful for answers to these questions by July 15, when our
transportation committee must meet to decide.

Please answer the following questions about car leasing options and
vehicle features:

1. What leasing packages does your dealership offer?

2. What level of servicing do you provide?

3. Do you offer flexible leasing payments?

4. What model sedan provides the greatest fuel economy?

2. Analyzing a Request. Discllss whet.her the following ext.met meets the b'llidelines for an infom1ation regllesl and
how easy it would he to respond to this inquiry.

What can you tell me about your banquet facllltles7 A few weeks ago, my boss
asked me to find out as much as I could about upscale banquet facilities In the
area. Our company Is hosting an event to celebrate Its twentieth anniversary. We
expect that the event will be held the week of June 9-13, although June 10 Is
our preferred date. Any other week would be unsuitable. Of course, we are only
Interested In booking a facility If It Is air-conditioned. ls your banquet hall air-con-
ditioned? We anticipate having two hundred guests. Do you have a banquet room
that would accommodate two hundred guests? I would also like to know If your
banquet centre Is wheelchair-accessible. Because our workforce Is quite diversified,
we would like to offer menu selections that appeal to many different tastes. Do you
offer International menus? Thank you for any Information you can provide.
 6 I ROUT I NE AND GOODWI L L MESSAGES

3. Analyzing a Letter of Congratulations. What mistakes does the writer o f the following letter make? How would
you feel if you recEived this message?

Dear Imogen:

Talk about overnight successl I find It hard to believe that someone who has
been with the company for as little time as you have could rise through the ranks
so quickly, putting us all to shame. It seems that only yesterday you were our
eager office assistant, fetching us coffee from the local Starbucks. Well, times
have changed-and It couldn't have happened to a nicer person. No doubt your
pleasant smile and excellent telephone manner will help you with the many
challenges that lie ahead In your new job as assistant district manager. I would like
to know what a person has to do to climb the corporate ladder as fast as you have.

Cheers,

~ e;/; o.J
Larry and the gang
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

4. Revising an Announcement for Clarity. What common errors make the message below ineffective? Focusing on
clarity, rewrite the announcemt:nt.

Announcement

WRITE ON BUSINESS COMMU NI CATIONS CONFERENCE

The National Write On Association herewith wishes to Inform you that It Is seeking
presentations concerning the Impact of electronic communication on business
writing efforts for Its annual national conference scheduled for March 18th to
21st, 2014, In Halifax, Nova Scotia.

Joining the NWOA In sponsoring the conference are the Canadian Jargon
Association, the Nation al Society for the Prevention of Obfuscation, the
Stop Flaming Now League, and the Canadian Anti -Spam Federation. The last
conference, held In 2013 under the sponsorship of the National Save the Comma
Society, drew over 750 participants from every province with the exception of PEI
and saw representation from various branches of Industry, business, government,
academia, Industry, and business from across the country.

Conference coordinators desire presentations that deal with documented case

histories of e-mail abuse In business and Industry. According to Dr. Lyle Mudd, the
NWOA executive coordinator, "We are most Interested In the Impact of e-mall on
standards of grammar and the corporate measures that have been Implemented
to redress existing problems. We are also seeking presentations on acceptable
e-mail length and the Introduction of corporate e-mall guldellnes." Members
wishing to give presentations on any of the aforementioned topics are advised to
submit a two-hundred-and-fifty (250) word proposal.

All proposals must be postmarked no later t han November 1, 2013, and directed
to the attention of Dr. Lyle Mudd, NWOA Executive, St. Sebastian University,
Halifax, NS D4A 2E1.
 6 I ROUT I NE ANO GOODWILL M ESSAGES

s . Changing Letter Style. Rewrite Lhe following full-block style letter in simplified style. When would a simplified
style be appropriate?

Salmon Run Tackle and Fishing Supply

4 Timberllne Avenue
Carlyle, BC W9G 2B1

July 26, 2013

North by Northwest Supply

28 Forest Avenue
Prince George, BC W5L 2K9

ATIENTION ORDER DEPARTMENT SPECIALIST

Ladles and Gentlemen:

SUBJECT: ORDER FOR GAS GENERATOR

Enclosed Is a cheque for $1,682.98 In payment for the Deluxe Genron Gas
Generator, Item #7753 In your Winter 2,013 catalogue.

As arranged, I will pick up this Item at your Selkirk Road service depot when I am
In Prince George on August 6.

Please enclose an updated price list with my order.

Sincerely,

Brad Hutchinson

Enc.

Phone: 304-590-8831 salmonrun@ccre.net Fax: 304-590-8824

 COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

6. Arranging Letter Elements. Retype the following letter using your computer softwares letter wizard and note the
resulting changes in style and formatting.

Subject: Summer Outreach Tours

FAX TRANSMISSION

Aprll 16, 2014

Mr. Jordan Fisher, Marketing Director
College Life Tours
1515 Aubrey Avenue
Toronto, ON MSS 2K1

18 Belgrave Street
Toronto, ON M9M 3H7

Dear Mr. Jordan Fisher:

Please answer the following questions about the student outreach tour packages
offered by your company this summer.

1. Can you recommend a tour of Central America that combines volunteer work
with adventure vacationing?

2. Could such a tour accommodate a group offlve travellers In June or July?

3. What Is the approximate cost per person for a three-week package?

Along with a group offrlends, I plan to tour Central America this summer. Whil e
there, my friends and I would like to contribute what we can to the communities
we visit. We are therefore looking for a tour that would allow us to do volunteer
work, similar to our past work for Habitat for Humanity, while also giving us the
chance to pursue extreme sports and explore some of the region's best-known
ecological preserves.

I would appreciate answers to these questions by May 30, when my friends and I
will meet to discuss our summer travel destination.

Yours very sincerely,

Justin Littleton

WRITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES
1. Revising Direct-Approach Openings. Make the fol-
lowi ng openings direct, professional, and speci fic.
a) Hello I My name is Wayne Dum ont. I am a juniOT
account.ant at Hammond Financial and I have a
number of questions for you 10 answer. Let me
first explain that all of these questions have to do
with import and excise taxes.
b) It is my pleasure and privilege to write to you
today to ask about your retirement planning edu-
cation pro1:.JTams. I am most interested in finding
out if your educational package includes a focus
section on financial plan ning for early retiremen t.
c) Give me any information you can on your confer-
ence-hosting services. 1 need to know how much
it costs to hold a half-day confe rence for thirty
people at your conference facility.
3. Writing Subject Lines. Below are opening sen1ences
d) We always appreciate hearing from customers
who have experienced problems with products
under warranty and have the courage to ask for a
refund. While your claim seems valid, and there
doesn't seem to be a strong reason why we should
not do as you request, let me first explain com-
pany policy on this issue.
e) In response to your letter of int1uiry, received
Septemher 29, in which you asked ahout the avail-
a bility o f price discounts on our weh hosting servi-
ces, I am pleased to tell you that the answer is yes.
f) Pursuant to your letter dated August 28, we
4. Revising Letter Closings. Rewrite the following clos-
would like to advise you that you can take the
PowerPoint projector with which you have appar-
ently had so much trouble to Prism Servicing foT
inspection and, if necessary, free repair.
2. Itemizing Parts of a Request or Response. lmprove
the readahility o f the following request hy organizing
i1s various q uestions in.to a lis t.
Please answer the following questions about your
new line of high-nutrition sports snacks.
First, I would like to know if individual food items are
vacuum sealed. I conduct guided cycling tours of
Prince Edward County and I nee-d assurances that the
products Isupply to tour members will be fresh and
appetizing, even at the end of a hot summer day.
How long do products remain fresh after they have
been opened? ls dietary information for each item
6 ROUTINE AND GOODWI L L ME SS A GES
printed on the packaging? I am also interested in
finding out if you have any gluten-free-and organic
products. And are your snacks suitable for diabetics
and people with food allergies? Of course, I would
like to sample products from your new line before I
commit to purchasing them. Can you send me some
samples to try? I already have your price list.
As an operator of tours for experienced cycling
enthusiasts, I would like to offer complimentary
premium sports snacks on my one- and two-day
excursions.
I would appreciate answers-in fact all the
Information you can provide- by April 1S, when
our tour planning committee meets to finalize
purchasing details.
from request and response messages. Write a concise
and specific subject line that corresponds to each.
a) The enclosed cheque for S365 represents our
quality commitment to our customers and our
desire to earn the ir confidence.
b) Please answer the following questions about
the role of mediatio n service companies in the
lahour- management relationship. 1 am wri1ing an
ar1kle cm this topic for Busines.~ Weekly.
c) Here are answers to your questions ahou1 ou r
corpora1e gift services.
ings to make them more specific and polite.
a) Please gel hack lo me soon. My boss really needs
this mformauon and I don't want to get into
trouble for missing our April 7 deadline.
b) Because we wa.nt lo keep you satisfied and hecause
we would like to resolve this prohlem once and for
all , we are offeri ng you a complimenu11y repair on
your au1omat.ic door. We hope the inconvenience
and minor injuries your customers experienced as a
resuh of our malfunctioning door will no1 discour-
age you from domg husiness wilh us in the future.
c) I trus1 1hat 1 have provided the informauon you
require. If you need information m the future, I
recommend that you direct your inquiry to my
assistant, who has time to handle minor requests
o f this kind.
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
- CASE STUDY EXERCISES
1. Information Request. As assistant to the vice-
president of Excelon Investments, you have been
asked to research business etiquette agencies. Your
boss, Francesca Franca, has noticed that many of
your company's top managers and investment coun-
sellors are conscious of the etiquette gaffes they make
while attend ing corporate functions and formal din-
ne rs. Entertaining important clienL~ L~ customary,
hut it is a part of the job that many talented senior
personnel seem reluctant and at times unwilling to
do. Which fork is used fo r the fish course? Why is it
wrong to whL~tle for the cheque? Ms. Franca would
like to ensure that senior personnel know the answers
to these questions and, without causing them embar-
rassment, see to it that company representatives have
good tab le manners and can do business with savvy
while eating a meal. She has proposed that an eti-
quette course he made available to int.erest.ed person-
nel. You 11ave heard that Decorum Business Etiquette
Services offers a one-day semi nar on telep hone
man.ners, dining etiquette, and interpersonal skills
for clien t retention. You are wondering if Decorum
could accommodate a group of up to twenty. Ilecause
t.he social functions your employees attend include
casual lunches and fo rmal dinners, you would also
like to know if students have the opportunity to test
their new ski.lls in a supervised restaurant-style meal.
Will students, fo r example, learn to use each piece of
cutlery properly? You would prefer that the trai n.ing
take place within the next th ree weeks because seni or
employees are set to attend the premier fundraising
dinner next month, an event for which Ms. Franca
has already hooked two $10,000 tables.
2. Information Request. As a Ryerson grad and the
president/owner of Edgerton & Smith, a hricks-and-
mortar fashion retailer with five stores in the GTA and
a strong online presence, you are interested in get-
ting involved with the Ted Rogers School of Retail
Management Retail Internship Program. You are con-
sidering providing at least one paid internship for
a third-year student in the upcoming summer. You
would like to be ln a posit.ion to provide dear expect-
ations to student.s before they app ly to and accept
the opportunities with in your organization. Having
read the information on the program's wehsit.e, you
understand that your company will be facilitating
t.he development of professionally relat.ed skills, as
defined by the Conference Iloard of Canada. The
school asks that you develop two or three measurable
goals hy which to monitor and evaluate internship
progress, as well as a flexible leanung plan. You are
not sure, however, how detailed the learning plan has
to be and if having the intern sib'll a leanu ng contract
would he a good idea. You know that an Internship
Fair is to take place and that, in advance of this
event, you will have to identify a supervisor/mentor
to coach each position; however, you have had some
recent personnel changes and are wondering when
t.hls information has to he finalized and when the fair
will t.ake place. In fact, a timeline would be helpful as
you would also like to know when internships could
begin/end and when you would need to submit cop-
ies of you r intern al application, recruitment, and
selection schedules. As your company has a grO\ving
online presence, you are also wonderi ng if students
would have a background in social media marketing.
You would like to have answers to your questions by
t.he end of the month so that your management t.eam
can discuss options at an upcoming Octoher meet-
ing. Write to Elenajacohek, Coordinator, TR.SM Retail
In te rnship Prob'Tam, .5.5 Dundas St.reet West, Toronto,
ON MSG 2C3.
3. Order Request. Rewrite the foll owing order req uest
so that details of each item are formatted for quick-
and-easy reference. Clearly ind icate the products you
int.end to buy, your planned method of payment, and
how you would like your orde r shipped. Eliminate
parL~ of the letter that detract from the effectiveness
of the request..
My small home-decorating business has an account
with your company. I am interested in several items
that were featured on your website last week.
Because your website is currently down, I have
chosen to send my order by conventional mail. I
hope this is acceptable.

I am most interested in the deluxe paint sprayer that
was advertised as your monthly special. I believe it
was manufactured by Craftline. Its unit price was
around S175. I would need two of them. You also
advertised a cordless sander manufactured by
Precision Master. Its unit price was approximately
$80. Please send me three sanders. Another item
caug ht my eye- a virtual decor software program
that would allow my customers to preview a room
in a variety of colours and finishes. I would require
the version for Windows 8. I believe it cost S95 and
went under the name of Samtex Color Options.
By the way, my company's account number
is 551 H27. Please notify me if the prices you
advertised are no longer in effect. Because we have
many contracts to complete in the next few weeks,
please ship my order as fast as you can.
4. Order Request. As marketing director o r Amhianl,
a new lighting design firm and retailer o r electrical
fixtures, you have heen appointed to represent the
company at a number or upcoming desib'll and trade
shows. Because the market for lighting products
and services is extremely compelillve, you would
like prospective customers Lo keep your company
in mind for their next lighting project. To help youT
nedgling husiness gain a fool hold in I he marketplace,
yo u plan to distribute novelti es beari ng your com-
pany nam e and logo at the upcoming trade shows.
You have heard that Your Name llere, a supplie r of
corporate b>ifts and novelties, can customize any item
from a product line that includes LED nashlights,
glow-in-the-dark pens, pen lights, and illummated
pens. Because your instructions are more detailed
and specific than whal Your Name I lere's wehsite
allows for, you have decided to fax an order request.
You would like fifty mini LED nashlights, item num
her 62-J, in red iJ possihle, lisled at $9. You also want
two hundred glow-in-the-dark pens, it.em number
98-K, with hlack ink, listed at $2 per unit. Finally,
you would like one hundred pen lights, item numheT
'i'i-R, again in red, listed at $4 per unit. You would
like the company logo to be reproduced as acc.-urately
as possible, so you are attaching an enlarged sample.
Each item should also be stamped with the slogan
"Amb1ant-Lighting the Way" together with the web
address, www.ambiantlighting.com. You would like
6 ROUTINE AND GOODWILL MESSAGES
to be invoiced for this purchase. Because you need
these Hems for a trade show to be held in ten days,
you want this 10 be a rush order, with shipment by
overnight courier. You would like immediate nol ifi-
cat.ion if, for any reason, Your Name Here is unahle to
process th e order as stipulated. Write lo Your Name
Here, 21 'i Grand Prairie Boulevard, Moose Jaw, SK
5611 Jl8.
s. Claim Request. Write a claim letter based on a prohlem
you may have experienced with a product or service
that was under guarantee or covered by a warranty.
6. Claim Request. As office manager of lnukshuk
Mming and Exploration in Yellowknife, NT, you have
received a shipment of mismatched modular office
componen ts from Cuhicle Junction of Vancouver.
When you telephoned Cuhicle Junction's customer
service hot.line to complain, you were told that th e
faulty components could he replaced, on cond ition
that they be relurned to the warehouse. However,
Cuhide Junction could not promise to cover sh ip
ping cosLS-the charges for which would be passed
on to you. You feel these charges are unwarranted
and unfair, as Cubicle Junction was at fault for the
irregulanties in the original shipment. Write Lo Maya
Sutcliffe, manager of customer service at Cubicle
Junction, asking that the company cover the esti
mated $100 in shipping charges.
7. Follow-up Letter. As owner of Get lt Write, an edit.or
ial and tutoring service, write to Giacomo Giancarlo
confirming lhe details of yesterday's telephone con
versation. Mr. Giancarlo, a marketing expen with a
high profile in the business community, is writing
a senes of anicles for a business publicauon and is
also working on a book-length manuscript that he
plans lo submit to publishers in Canada and the
United Stales. He has asked you to review his writing
and make necessary changes so his academic style
will have broader popular appeal. You agreed on an
hourly rate of $80 and discussed the type of style
ror which he L~ aim ing. You also agreed to meet next
week to discuss hL~ projects in greater detail.
8. Information Response. When you graduated from
high school, you volunteered for a mentorship pro
gram desib'lled to help students in the next gradual
ing class choose colleges and universities best suited
to Lheir needs and career objectives. You agreed to
write hrieny to your former guidance counsellor with
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
detail~ otf academic program.~, standards of in.~truc
tio11 , student se rvi ces, residen ce accommodation s,
extracurricular activities, and overall college life at
the academic institution you attend. Although you
prefer not to include p ersonal in form ation, you
would Lik e to record your impressions and provide
helpful details that supplement what prospecti ve st.u
den ts can find on your college's or university's web -
site. Write to your guidance counsellor wi th brief
comments on the topics listed above. Offer to b'feet a
small b'foup of stud en ts from your former high school
when th t:y tour your college/university next mon th.
9. Order Response. As sales director of Your Name
Here, you have just received Ambiants order by fax
(see Cast: 4). The only negative elemen t you must
include in your message ls that the mini LED nash-
light.s ordered are availahle in black onJy due to high
deman d. A new shipmen t o f red mini LED flashlights
is expected ln one week. Although you cannot guar-
an tee that the red LED flashligh ts will he ready for the
company's first trade show, you would like to offer to
fill the orde r partially or folly with black LED flash-
ligh ts, availahle al a substantially discounted price of
$5 per unit. All other items on o rder can he custom-
ized as requested and shipped immediately.
10. Claim Response. As Maya Sutcliffe, manager o f cus-
tomer service at Cubicle junction, respond t.o the let-
ter from Case 6 an d grant the request to waive $.100
in shipping costs . In reviewing th e customer servi.ce
reco rds, you immediately determin ed that th e prob-
lem with the prefabricated office system resulted
from the inc 1usion of Bve mismatched pane ls in the
shipment.. The bolts provided were com patihle only
with th e orde red panels, not \vith th ose shipped
in error, making it impossible for the parts to he
ONLINE ACTIVITIES
Applying the Direct Approach to a Claim Request.
Look at the sample complaint letter on the Writing
llusiness Leu.ers website. Using the i11formation pro
vided, rewrite th e letter so that it follows the direct
writing plan.
www.writing-business-letters.com/
complain-letter.html
assem bled correctly. When only a few co mpo11 en t.s
require replacement, your company policy is to sim -
ply ship the replacement parts free of charge, not to
demand the return o ft.he en tire order at the custom-
er'!;; expense. In investigating the cau se o f the problem
with the shipment, you discovered that a ch.angeover
to new so ftware had temporarily disrupted inventory
control at the ti me the order was processed. By bring-
ing the matter to your attention, the customer has
allowed you to implement a b ackup system so prob-
lems of th is kind will not recur. Th e customer can
expect to receive the new shipment in 011e week and
can fi nd tech nical supp ort at www.cub iclejunction
.com o r at 1-888-288-48.51.
11. Letter of Appreciation. A.s a jun ior accou11ts execu-
tive for an asset-management firm, you and a small
group of your colleagues were invited to an afternoon
of golf and diLmer at a private country dub. The host
was your d ivision manager, Roh Stockwell. Although
you had to miss your daughter's first ballet recital,
the day produced some impressive golf scores and
gave you the opportun ity to bounce arou nd some
creative strategic planning ideas. The meal i tself was
outstanding- far more than you had expected. Write
to Mr. Stockwell expressing yoiir app reciation for
h is hospitality.
12. Transmittal Letter. As p reside nt o f an arch itectural
fim1 speciali zing in historical restoration, you have
heen asked hy real estate developer Jay Delmonico to
develop a proposal fo r restoring a heritage building
h is company L~ thinking of huying. Mr. Delmon ico
plans to convert the four-storey heritage prop erty to a
multi-purpose commercial space that will still retain
its h istorical designation. Write a letter of transmittal
to accompany the draft version o f your proposal.
 u.uu
o.on

1'\l\l\\
o'3l\

LEARNING OBJECTIVES

1. Identify the speclaI demands and
characteristics of bad news messages.
2. Apply direct and Indirect writing plans
for bad news messages.
3. Organize bad news messages with a
direct plan.
4. Organize bad news messages with an
Indirect plan: writing buffers, citing reasons,
and d~emphaslzlng the bad news.
S. Politely refuse requests, claims, and credit;
turn down job applicants; announce bad
news to customers and employees; and
decline Invitations.
COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

WHEN 1100 Future Shop and Best Buy employees In five provinces arrived for work on
January 31, 2013, they were greeted by security guards, locked doors, and notices announ-
cing that 15 of the chain's outlets had been closed. About 5 per cent of the company's staff
lost their jobs that day. Only after the Initial shock of the downsizing did the workers learn
the reason for the closures: a press release described an effort "to reduce unnecessary costs,
eliminate redundant operating systems and optimize the real estate strategy to reflect a
changing retail landscape."' In the months that followed, Janice Antaya-Finlayson, vice-
president of HR at Best Buy, and Chris Taylor, vice-president of HR at Future Shop, responded
to the media attention and scrutiny by defending their plan for one-on-one consultations
and on-site counsellors to help employees deal with the news.2
Doug Stephens, founder and president of consulting firm Retail Prophet, Is critical of
catching such a large employee population off guard with something as distressing as a
mass downsizing:
There's enough shock to learn you are losing your job, even when you suspect it, but
to walk up to the front door one day and have it be padlocked is really adding insult to
injury.... When employees are informed, "Look, things are not as good as we had hoped,
it is conceivable we may have to close some locations, we don't know which ones yet,
but it is conceivable; it just prepares the employee population, psychologically at least,
that there's the possibility here of trouble.1
Once the decision to lay off employees has been made, It Is up to the organl:zatlon to
develop a communications plan t hat, according to Stephens, ensures that affected parties
"hear It at the right time and In the right way." Clarity In the explanation Is lmportan1t: "It can't
be just some nebulous statement that says, 'Sales are not where we need them to be: HR
managers have to be prepared to brief employees thoroughly on all the reasons why this Is
happening, and they need to understand they are the ones being thrown out of the lifeboat
and not someone else:

Goals of Negative Messages

Delivering bad or unfavourable news is an unavoidable fact o f doing business- and a task
that, fo r a variety o r reasons, is often more difficult and challengi ng than just saying no.
Whether it involves turn ing down a joh applicant or denying an insurance claim, the com-
munication is more complex because the sender and receiver are in con nict: one denies
what the other wants, lead ing to a loss of co-operation. Breaking had news can make even
confident writers uneasy and reluctan t to the point o r d istancing themselves from I.he bad
news they have to share (the so-called Mum e rfect)' while leavi ng recipients defensive, dis-
appoin ted, shocked, or angry. No one enjoys provoking these emotions, let alone experi-
encing them. At worst, when the bad news is serious or significant, the receiver may end
up feeling wronged and powe rless, which can impact their behaviour. Often, w hen the
reader cares strongly about the situation, these had feelings can resu lt in a loss o f goodwill
and future b usiness with the company.
Readers may stop reading a message once they d etect negativity in 1.he rorm of a
problem, refusal, or criticism, espedally when they haven't been prepared for unpleasan t
information and have no way to adjust to it. Oft.en, the anger provoked by a message can
s pill ove r into antagonLcan toward the person who wrote it, particularly if the had news has
been trivialized, exaggerated, or stat.ed too blun tly. This acting out on 1.he part of readers
 7 I DELIVERING UNFAV OURAB LE N EWS

when they feel llmits have hem unfairly imposed on them and the ir freedom- a phenom-
enon known as psychological react.ance- is a common n:sult when had news is handled
poorly or tactlessly. Writers who routinely antagonize their readers when they must deliver
had news get reputations for heing thoughtless and insensitive, a perception that can dam-
age relationships with colleagues, suppliers, customers, and other stakeholders. Writers
therefore need to take more care and strateglze smartly to preserve the organlzation's good
image wh en a message must lndude unfavourahle lnfom1ation.
However, communicating unfavourahle news or saying no doesn't have to result in
had feelings. Stratebric negative messages are unique in their special attention to content, negative message a message
structure, context., and tone. These elemen ts work together to preserve goodwill and that commun lcates negatlve
Information that may upset or
ensure that the recipient finishes reading the message and accepts the had news without disappoint the reader.
feeling hilt.er, hostile, or resentful. The following are some impo rtant goal~ to keep in mind
when communicating bad news:

Primary Goals

To b'live the had news in a dear, hrief, and respectful way, and st.ate it only once.
To help readers accept the had news hy showing the fairness and logic of the decL~ion,
offeri ng an explanation when it is possihle to do so, and eliminating unnecessarily
negative language.
To maintain and hi1ild goodwill toward the reade r and the reader's organization
despite the unpleasant facts the message must communicate.
To get your purpose across the first time, wi thout amhiguities that may create a need
for clari fication, follow-up con espondence, or ongoh1g dispute resolution.

Secondary Goals

To balance husiness decisions with sensitivity to readers hy put.ting yourself in

their position.
To reflect promptness, accountahility, and due consideration- factors that reduce
impatience and potential hostility- by deliveri ng the had news at the right time.
To protect yourself and your organization from legal liahllity.

Bad news messages fall into several categories:

Refusals tum down invitations, suggestions, proposals, and requests for information,
action, employment, and credit.
Announcements dL~dose price increases, policy ch anges, delivery delays, cancella-
tion of services, and product defects or recalls.
Assessments or appraisals offer negative assessments of employee joh performance
or personnel issues.

Tone in Bad News Messages

Tone is import.ant in had news messages. A tactful, neutral tone tailored to the situation
puts readers in a receptive frame of mind and lowers their psychological resistance to a
refusal or denial. It is especially impo rtant to avoid phrasing that is harsh , defensive, and
accusatory- wording that can intensify readers' feelings of anger and inadequacy The fol-
lowing are a few tips for maintaining an even, reader-friend ly tone:
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

Don't plead with the reade r (please understand) or resort to name-calling.

Beware of mixed messages, fo r example, hy expressi ng an unwi llingness lo comply
when it is within your power to do so (I am sorry that we haw: chosen not to).
Avoid statements based on assumptions that the reader will accept the had news (you
will certainly agree/understancl/appredate).
Stick to facts and keep your language jargon-free.
Avoid statements of opinion that can expose you and your company to legal liahility.
Edit timid or overly apologetic statements that may weaken the reader's confidence in
your decision (I am afraid that we cannot).
Avoid unn ecessarily writer-centred remarks (we cannot afford to/we must refuse/
disappoint/reject your).
Use expressions of sympathy (sony/Tregret/unfortunately) carefully to avoid hinting at
the had news.

A positive emphasis, as long as it doesn't mislead readers into expecting good news,
can compensate for t.he sense of limitation a reader may feel in heing told you cannot do
what he or she wants. Sinceri ty ai1d politeness are the best ways lo let readers down gently
and help them adjust to negative information.
The subject Line sets the tone for a message. For negative responses, you can sim-
ply add "Re:" to the original suhj ect line. You will need to type a new suhject line only
if the negative information you pass on is crucial to action-taking and decision-making.
It is possible to drop the subject line altogether from a lette r if it states the bad news too
hluntly. lf you decide to use a subject line, select the type that best suits your purpose:

Positive subject lin es highlight solutions in problem-oriented messages and per-

suade readers of the benefits of potentially unpopular policies or changes. However,
a suhject line should never overstate positives to t.he point of misleading readers. The
following suhject line is from a message announcing an increase in monthly ded uc-
tions for employee henefits:

Subject: Upgrading Employee Benefits Package

Neutral subject lines signal the topk but without referring lo the bad news. Use
them in routine memos to peers and subordinates, especially when the had news is
minor or expected.

Subject: Water Shut Off Sunday, October 5

Subject: Subscription Rate Increase, Effective March 31

Negative s ubject lines are uncommon hut can he used to command attention for
serious inte rnal problem.<; and issues t.hat might otherwise he ignored. They some
times headline hri ef e-mails alerting readers to situations for which t.he readers are not
at fault.

Subject: Error in Q3 Sales Data [when the error is your own]

Subject: Downgrade to AA Credit Rating

Closings, too, should he in keeping with the balance of your message. Readers who
have just been let down can he easily upset hy an upbeat complimentary close such as
Cheers, mistaking i.ts friendliness for sarcasm o r flippancy.
 7 I DELIVER I NG UNFAV OURAB L E N EWS

Organizing Bad News Messages

There ar,e two writing plans-direct and indirect- for structuring negative messages.
Knowing which plan to use is a matter of analyzing the context and the message's antici-
pated effect on the reader. Audience analysis is therefore an import.ant step in writing
an effective had news message. There are several important factors to consider hefore
you write:

how well you know t.he reader

what position the reader holds relative to you in the company hierarchy
how much information you can safely disclose to the reader \vithout compromising
privacy or commercial (intellectual property) concerns
how prepared the reader is for the had news
how much resistance you anticipate
how adversely the refusal or denial will affect the rea.der
what readers, especially of internal messages, are accustomed to

By carefully examining these fact.ors, you will he ahle to decide how to compose your
had news message. Several useful plm1s are discussed in the following sections. Keep in
mind that no plan is complete without equal consideration of channel choice (e.g., e-mail,
voice mail). ln recent research, participants judged e-mail to be more comprehensihle,
while voice mail, with its amped-up social cues, was viewed as more persuasive and better
for maintaining a personal customer relation.~hip . 6 This insight, while not a general rule,
shows the importance of making the right channel choices t.o help ensure that the bad news
is communicated clearly and with limited impact on a continuing professional relationship.

Di1rect Writing Plan for Bad News Messages

USING THE DIRECT WRITING PLAN
Some readers prefer directness. Some messages demand it. It is not always necessary to
break the had news gently hy using the special delaying strategies that characterize the
indirect writing plan, wh ich reveals the had news only after an ex11lanation has prepared
the reader for it. In many situations it is possible to level \vith the reader and hebrin with
the main message. Use the c:Urect approach to deliver had news in the follO\ving situations:

when you know the reader well enough to unclerst.<.11ncl his or her preference for dir-
ectness (readers who expect conciseness and immediacy in their messages may not
have the time or patience to read a lengthy lead-in)
when the bad news is expected or related to a known problem or minor delay
when critical information might otherwise escape notice (organizations commonly
use I.he direct approach to announce price increases, disrupt.ions in service, or chan-
ges in polic.y; if you embed this information somewhere in the middle of the message,
you may not succeed in bringing it to the reader\; attention)
when the bad news is not serious, significant, or detrimental to the reader
when it is company practice to \'l'Iite all internal messages straightforwardly
when you int.encl to terminate a business relationship
 COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS
FIGURE 7.1
Ineffective Direct-Approach
Message (extract)
Opening expression of sympathy
also announces the bad news - - -
Gives no reason for the
cancellation and does not
Identify the cancelled course
Offors no alternatlve- another /
course or possible rescheduling
Closlng an afterthought that/
reminds readers, somewhat
facetiously, of their
disappointment
FIGURE 7.2
Effective Direct-
Approach Message
Delivers and explains the
bad news directly In the Ors!
paragraph
Quickly moves on to an
alternative and tells readers
how to act on this Information
Closes with a nnal reminder of
the alternative, which Is reader
centred and phrased politely
Dear Registrants:
Unfortunately, the course you registered for has been cancelled.
- It looks like we may not be able to make this course available to employees
-- for at least another few months.
/
We hate to disappoint our registrants, but I am sure you understand our
budgetary constraints.
FROM: Ahmed Khan <akhan@eureka.ca>
SENT: March 3, 2014
TO: learnlng@eureka.ca
SUBJECT: Outlook 2013 Level 2 Course Cancellation
Dear Registrant:
--1-
~ The Outlook 2007 Level 2 course, originally scheduled to begin on March 24,
has been cancelled due to insufficient registration levels.
In Its place, please consider one of several self-directed e-learnlng courses
... available through the Learning and Employee Development Centre. Rooms
In the centre can be booked for up to two hours at a time, and each course
takes four to eight hours to complete. Staff members who have opted for our
e-learnlng program say the experience compares favourably to traditional
classroom instruction.
- ... Please let me know If you are Interested In self-directed learn Ing so that
suitable training times can be arranged for you.
Thanks,
Ahmed
Ahmed Khan
Learning Centre Coordinator
Tel: 416-631 -7710
Fax: 416-631-7785
Ema II: akhan@eureka.ca
 7 I DELIVER I NG UNFAV OURAB L E N EWS

The direct writing plan for delivering had news is similar to that used for good news
mes,,<;ages with 011e notable difference: it follows up the explanation with the offer of an
alternative. Use the following four-pan approach when writing a direct had news message:

1. Begin with a simple, well-phrased statement of die bad news. Give the had news
only once.
2. Provide an explanation tliat the reader can reasonably accept. Keep the explana-
tion brief and make it dear. Tell readers only what they need to know and what you
need to say to justify a decision or relay basic facts.
3. Offer an alt.emative if it is possible to do so. You cannot do as I.he reader asked, but
perhaps you can offer the next best thing. Promise only what is legally and realistically
allowable for you or yom company to do.
4. Close with a goodwill statement that doesn't refer to the had news. Avoid words
and phrases such as difficulty, mistake, problem , or regrettable error.

LIMITATIONS OF THE DIRECT APPROACH

The direct, up-front approach is all business. The impression it gives is of no-nonsense
decisiveness. However, an overly hrief message constructed according to this plan can
sometimes seem cold and brusque. To make your message polite without adding lo its
length, focus on using a tone that conveys respect and courtesy

indirect Writing Plan for Bad News Messages

USING THE INDIRECT APPROACH
The indirect strategy is a more traditional way of deliveri ng unfavourable news. By revers-
ing the o rder of the explanation and decision, the writer can gain an advantage of great.er
tact and diplomacy. These benefits are supported in communications research that has
indicated I.hat recipients of had news consider messages writ.ten with an indirect strategy
more agreeable and easier to understand. think of the writer as more emphatic and corn
petent, and are more inclined to comply when the explanation is presented flrst. 7
Use the indi rect approach in the following situations :

when you don't know the reader well

when the bad news isn't anticipated by the reader
when you anticipate a st.rang negative reaction from 1.he reader

Instead of beginning with a blunt announcement o [ the had news, the approach of
an indirect writing plan gradually eases the reader inl.o the news and I.hereby reduces its Indirect writing plan a method
impact. The main message is embedded- delayed until the reader has heen prepared for of organizing a document so that
the main message Isdelayed and
it. This unique organization makes I.he message readable and easy to tolerate from begin presented toward the end.
ning to end . The advantage of such a plan is clear: a reader who grasps the reasons for a
negative decision or assessment is less Likely to react negatively, toss the message aside,
or take 1.h e had news personally The following simple four-part fom1ula can he modifled
depending on the specific type of message and how sensitive you need to he:

1. Begin with a buffer. Use a short statement that wi1J grab attention, cushion the had
news, and guide the reader to the expla11ation.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
buffer a meaningful, neutral
stiltcmcnt that cushlans the shock
or bad nows.
2. Provide a solid, reasonable explanation. A cmcial part of any had news message,
the explanation est.ahlishes background and reasons that will later help tbe reader
understand , adjust to, and accept the had news.
3. State the bad news. Phrase the bad news to minimize its impact and, if possible, bal-
ance it wi th an alternative.
4. Close with a good,vill statement. End the message pleasantly, showing considera-
tion for the reader.
The next sections offer a closer look at each of these four elements.
BAD NEWS BUFFERS
The buffer (one to three sentences) is a first defence against toxic messaging. It is a mean-
ingful, neutral statement that establishes rapport with the reader without forecasting the
had news. It reduces the su rprise a reader migh t otherwise experience upon suddenly
learning unpleasant news. With its conciliatory tone, the buffer pu ts the reader in a more
agreeable frame o f mind, helping to neutralize the had news when it is finally revealed. A
buffer can he an expression of agreement, appred.ation, or general principle or a ch ronol-
Ob'Y of past comm unications (see Table 7 1). lt is usually worded to avoid connotatively
negative language (e.g., no, not, cannot, refuse, deny, unfortunately, regrettably, and the
prefixes un- and 11011- ). An effective buffer never misleads the reader into thinking that
positive news will follow. Instead it guides the reader toward the explanation, oft.en by
planting a keyword that carries over to the next paragraph. Internal messages on routine
matters may not require buffers, hut messages intended for supe riors, customers, o r joh
applican ts benefit from the sensitivity this device helps to show. Writing a good buffer can
he difficult, so let the situation govern the type of buffer you use.
EXPLAINING THE BAD NEWS
An explanation of the had news is the most im portant part of a negative message because
it prepares the reader for the refusal or denial. Whether you choose to justify o r explain
negative information, you need to let readers see that the negative d ecision is based on
valid, legitimate reasons, not snap judgments or weak excuses. It is important to he object-
ive and reveal only what the read.er righ tfully needs to know to u nderstand your decision.
1. Stick to the facts and avoid editorializing. Focus on your strongest reason or reasons
for saying no, being careful not t.o divulge confidential, legally sensitive infollllation
that may he damaging t.o you or your company. It is also im portant. to avoid. express-
ing a personal opinion that might be mistaken for the view o f your organization or
cri tidsm of its policies (e.g., 1 know how senseless this policy must seem, but it must he
enfrm:ed). Your goal is to clarify your or the company's decision and put it in perspec-
tive brieRy and tactfully, wi.thout taxing a reader\; patience or making the situation
worse with accusations. Statements that imply you doubt a reader\; honesty (you c:laim
that, you state that, we are surprised at your request) should likewise be avoided.
2. Refer to company policy as need ed but don't hide behind it. Unless you want to
distance yourself from negative information hy using an o fficial tone, avoid mechanic-
ally restating company policy to justify your decision (Our company polily forbids the
conver~ion of lease payments to purchases). Instead, tactfully point to the reason why
 7 I DELIVER I NG UNFAVOURABLE NEWS

TABLE 7. 1 Types of Bad News Buffers

Appreciation Thanks readers for their inquiries, contributions, applications, business, feedback, or interest: Thank you for
a/lawing us ta review your application for the position ofaccounts executive at Pendleton Management. It is best
to avoid expressions of gratitude that might seem illogical, especially if the opening remark is connected to
a request you are about to refuse. Saying we were very pleased to receive your request sounds insincere if you
have no intention of complying with the request.

Good o:r neutral news The'first the good news, now the bad news' approach that wins over readers, but only if the good news
is relevant and meaningful. Don't struggle to find something pleasant to say unless it is related to the
main message.

Genera'! principle or fact Outlines organizational policies or practices. For example, a memo announcing a reduction in paid release
time for corporate fundraising events can open by reminding readers of the 'big picture that won't
change as a result of the bad news: Our company has shown o long tradition of support for employees in their
fundroising activities for local charities. A message announcing the cancellation of an employee service
can be buffered by a statistic illustrating that the service is under-subscribed: Consumption of coffee in our
complimentary GraboJovo program hos dropped in the post year. More thon 90 percent of the staffnow soy
they prefer to purchase their coffee off the premises.

Chronology of past Retraces events or correspondence relevant to the current situation. In responding to a claim that must
communkations be refused, for instance, you may begin by recapping what has happened so far: When we last spoke on
October 7, I agreed to review our shipping procedures for perishable goods.

Statement of agr11ment Refers to a relevant view shared by the writer and reader. In rejecting a proposed method of expenditure
or common ground reduction, you could begin with an endorsement of the general principle that inspired the plan in the first
place: We both agree on the importance ofoperational expenditure reduction.

Apology or statement Expresses sympathy or regret for what has happened or what the reader has experienced as a result of a
of understanding decision made. An apology may be necessary in cases where the reader suffered severe or unreasonable
difficulty, inconvenience, or financial loss. Otherwise, apologies can lead to legal liability, so they should
be issued with care. It is important not to overdramatize an error. If you are in doubt about what to say,
consult your organization's legal department Tailor the apology to the situation and make sure it is sincere
and genuine, not half-hearted: Please accept our apologies for any inconvenience caused by the temporary
ma/function ofour automatic transit turnstiles.

Compliment Praises the reader'sefforts and contributions without resorting to false flattery. Avoid beginning with an
ego-booster so big that it raises hopes for good news to follow or builds a reader up only to let the person
down.The compliment should take into consideration noteworthy achievements, actions, conduct, or
overall performance, but not trivia lilies such as attire and appearance: Your attention to detail and your
thorough research are commendable. Once again, you hove prepared a complete and cogent proposal.

the polil'y is reasonable, fair, or beneficial (As

our rnmpany i.~ committed to keeping rates low,
convnsirm of payments toward a purchase is not
an available option). For more on using positive language
3. Use positive or neutral words. Present your in bad news messages, see "Business
explanatio n in a constructive way and make Letters: Accentuating the Positive at
the reade r more receptive to its facts. Your the Purdue Online Writing Lab: http://
explanation should sound humane and help- goo.gl/qKFLSJ
ful, not as though you are passing the buck
or using technical language to evade the real
issue. Edit out words that are known to create
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

resist.ance: impossible, unable, unacceptable, unwise, unwilling, d@c:ulty , inconvenience,

unwarranted, unreasonable. Also avoid phrases such as please understand and you
mrely undt:rstand that heg the reader to agree wit.h you . Show respect hy taking the
matt.er seriously.

REVEALING THE BAD NEWS

Withholding the bad news until aft.er the e>rplanat.ion is fund amental to the indirect strat-
egy. However, delaying tactics alone may not make disappoint.ing or upsetting news any
easier t.o accept. It helps t.o remember that saying no or revealing disappointing infonna-
tion doesn't necessmily mean being negative. You can t.ake the sting out of unfavourable
news by using one or more de-emphasizing techniques that lessen its grammatical pres-
ence and impact. Even with these techniques, it is still essential to st.ate the had news
clearly and unequivocally, so readers will understand it the fi rst time and won't need to ask
for clarification.

1. Put the bad news in a dependent clause. Dependent clauses de-emphasize what
they convey because of their grammatical incompleteness. Readers are less likely to
linger over clauses begi nning with although, as, because, if, ~ince, while, or whereas and
more likely to focus on the i11dependent clause in a complex sentence.

2. Suggest a compromise or alternative. Readers like solutions. Alternatives empha-

size what you or your company can do and show you are focused on solving the
problem. Such conciliation can ease the sense of limitation a reader may feel upon
receiving a had news message. Give the alternative maximum impact by putt.ing it in
an independent clause in a comple>r sentence or in an independent clause on its own.
Provide enough information for the reader to he ahle t.o act on t.he suggest.ion .

Although your printer could not be repaired, we would like to offer you a 15 per cent
discount and free extended warranty on your next purchase of a printer in our Laser-
best 5000 series.

Although we cannot disclose individual salaries, we can provide you with a fact sheet
listing the salary range of our senior managers.

3. Use t11e passive voice. Passive-voice verhs allow you to describe an action with-
out identifying who perfom1ed it. Facts stand out; personalities and t.heir conflicts
fade into the background. Use passive-voice constructions alone or as part of a
dependent clause.

Although a refund cannot be granted at this time, we can offer you free shipping on
your next order.

4. Use long sentences rather than short ones. Put the had news in a sentence con-
taining more than 1.5 word.Y-long sentences tend to de-emphasize content.

5. Use positive language. R,eaders are usuall y more receptive when you present
the glass as being half full rather than half empty. While it is never advisable to
make unrealistic promises or use overly effusive language, it makes sense to avoid
words and phrases that readers may perceive as harshly negative or antagonistic: we
must refuse/r~ject!deny your request/disappoint you. The stat.ement we refuse to accept
 7 I DELIVER I NG UNFAV OURAB L E N EWS

applications after March 15 is less severe when rephrased as applications will be accepted
until March 15.
6. Avoid s potlighting the bad news. Embed the had i1ews in the middle o f a sen tence
or paragraph where it is less noticeable. Bebrinning with the had news increases its
shock value; ending with it adds to the possibility that readers will dwell on it. Try to
combine the had news with a reasonable ex-planatio11 or good news alternative. Don't
let it sit by itself in a single, high-emphasL~ paragraph.
7. Imply the refusal. For this tech nique to he effective, the explanation must he clear
and thorough. Here is an implied refusal for a request for software training for a b'Toup
o f thirty people:

Our on-site training facility can accommodate a group of up to twenty.

Implied refusals backfire if readers don't grasp the negative information, putting you
in the awkward position of having to say no in a second letter that states the news
more directly.

GOODWILL CLOSING
The dosing is the last chance t.o repair goodwill and nonnali.ze relationships so that
business can con tinue. A goodwill closing must he consistent with the overall tone goodwill closing tho part of
and content o f your message- never so canned or mechanical that it seems unrelated a message that drawsattention
away from the bad news and
or sounds insincere. At the same time, it must refocus business re lationships and, as toward a positive and continuing
required, express confidence that those relationships will con tinue. Positive , you-cen tred mlatlonshlp with the reader.
remarks work well in closing as long as their cheerfulness doesn't encourage the reader to
think you are happy about deliveri ng bad news.

1. Don't repeat the bad news, remind the reader of past problems, or hin t at future
difficulty. Words and phrases such as problem, difficulty, error, mistake, trouble ,
unfortunate situation, or lnconvrnle11ce renew the had feelings you have worked so hard
to dispel. Instead focus on the problem's resolution and look ahead to a continuing
business relationship.
2. Do offer your good wish es to the reader. Th is step is more important when declin-
ing job applications and invi tations or writing to customers. Your comments should
sournd genuine and conciliatory, not overdone
(Thank you f<ir the interest you have shown in our
research and development program. I wish you
eve1y success in your future caree1:)
3. Don't invite further correspond ence unless
For a comparison between direct-
you si11cerely wa11t contact. If the matter isn't
approach and indirect-approach
open to debate or discussion, don't encourage messages, watch "How to Convey Bad
the reader to helieve your dec:ision isn 't final News in Your Writing by Alanis Business
by signing off with a suggestion o f further con Academy: http://goo.gi/OjmbZiQEA
tact (pleas1: feel free to contact me if you would
like to discuss this matter). Readers who won't
take no for an answer will interpret such a
st.ate1ne11t as an invitation to pursue the matt.er
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

further. A goodwill closi ng should he the rinal step in encouraging the ieader to
accept the had news and closing the door on further correspond ence.
4. Don't apologize for having to say no, especially at the end of your message. A
hrief, sincere apology may be appropriate at the outset if the situation merits it, hut
unnecessary apologies later on can undermine your perceived anthority and weaken
your explanation. Apologies can sometimes expose organizations t.o legal liability, so
exercise caution or seek legail counsel hefore L~suing them.
5. Don't take credit for helping the reader unless you have actually provided assist
ance. Even brid statements that are meant to boost the reader's mood-such as I
hope tliis information has bern useful to you- ring false if you have done nothing for
the reader.

INDIRECT-APPROACH MESSAGE
The following message announces a suhstantial increase in memhership dues for a profes-
sional association. Because highen dues could mean a substantial drop in member.ship, the
message has a strong persuasive component. It begins hy expressing appreciation to mem-
bers for their contributions and hy stressing, throngh the keyword services, the henefits of
membership. News of the increase ls minimized hy the helpful suggestion to pay immedi-
ately and save. The closing conveys goodwill with a fo rward-looking emphasis. Typical
of some had news messages, I.he purpose of this letter is also persuasive in encouraging
readers not just to note hut also to accept 1.he had news.

The Canadian Association of Business Management values the ground-breaking initiatives

and active participation of its members. Thanks to a strong collective effort, the array of
services and events now availa1ble to members has helped make our group the fastest-
growing professional association in Canada.

Our mentorship program matches young members w ith those possessing years of
experience in the industry. This program has been a success. Membership now inc ludes a
quarterly publication with the latest trade information and access to websites and online
resources, including hundreds of trade publications. Although the cost of these services has
led to an unavoidable increase in annual dues, we now offer a three-year membership for
only $230- a $50 saving over the one-year membership rate.

To take advantage of this special rate, please complete and return the attached renewal
form before December 31. We thank you for your past support and look forward to your
continued participation in our organization.

LIMITATIONS OF THE INDIRECT STRATEGY

The indirect strategy does have i.ts drawbacks. When readers fail to And good or neutral
news in the Hrst rew sentences, they may see through the delaying or "hedging" tactics
of the buffe red opening and explanation and suspect the true purpose of the message.
When this happens, readers may see the lack of directness as manipulative rather than
polite. Messages organized according to this pattern also tend to he longer, making brreater
demands on the reade rs time and patience.
 7 I DELIVERING UNFAVOURABLE NEWS

Cl Have you buffered the bad news with an opening that is relevant, focused, and neutral?
Cl Have you explained the circumstances of the situation or the facts leading to the refusal
or bad news?
Cl Have you presented reasons that will help the reader understand and accept the
negative information as a logical conclusion?
Cl Have you stated the bad news as clearly and tactfully as possible? Have you used
appropriate techniques to de-emphasize it?
Cl Have you closed by re-establishing goodwill?

Use the Direct Strategy

To deliver bad news to someone you know well
For internal communication on matters already familiar to the reader
To announce routine rate increases to customers
To deliver bad news policy statements to employees
To refuse to write letters of recommendation

Use the Indirect Strategy

For tactful, explanatory in-house communication with superiors and co-workers and
external communication with customers, job applicants, and vendors
To refuse requests, claim adjustments, and credit
To decline invitations
To deliver bad news about products or orders
For negative performance reviews

APOLOGIES IN BAD NEWS MESSAGES

Apologies are common in bad news messages, but they a re not stand ard in every message
of this kind. Apologies can have several functions:

restoring dignity and a sense of justice

expressing fairness
reducing the effects of anger
providing a convincing explanation for the offence
giving assurances that the same unpleasantness won't occur in the futureA

Knowing when and how to apologize is fundamental to husiness interests. Saying sorry
shows you care, rights wrongs, and helps to fix problems. A poorly worded apology, how-
ever, can be misinterpreted- all the more reason to handle apologies with care. For an
apolob'Y to work, it must seem sincere and unambibruous, qi1alities that are sometim es hard
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

to est.ahlish in writ.I.en texts. For instance, fo rmer British Petroleum CEO Tony Hayward );
apolob'Y for a catastrophic 2010 oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico put corporate account
ahility far behind personal conce rns: "We're sorry for the massive disruption it's caused
to [residents'] Lives. There's no one who wants I.his thing over mo re than I do. I want my
life hack. "Q
Here are two main points to rememher about apologies:

Don't apologize for minor errors that have been promptly corrected or when
there is nothing to apologize for. The reader has to he in a position to care ahout the
wrong that has been done for there to he a true need for an apology. When you have
done your absolute best to correct a problem or delay resulting from circumstances
beyond your control, provide an explanation in place of an apology. Um1ecessary
apologies-apologizing for the sake of apologizing- weaken your perceived authority
and erode confidence in your decisions.

Unnecessary Apology: Iam so sorry to have to tell you that our Get It Fresh or It's
Free policy does not apply to reduced-for-quick-sale items.

Positive Explanation: To guarantee our customers a high standard of food quality

and freshness, our Get It Fresh or It's Free policy applies
only to regularly priced or nationally advertised sale items.

Do apologize for any serious trouble or inconvenience for which you or your
company is responsible. Issue a brief, sincere apology a.~ early in the message as you
possibly can, without overdrnmat.izing. An apology left to the end can seem like an
afterthought and remind readers of their difficulty. Acknowledge the wrong done to
the inj ured party. Be aware, however, that apologies not on ly convey regret or sym-
pathy, hut they can also be taken as admissions of responsibility or negligence. If you

The Ontario legislature,

pictured here, passed the
Apology Act In 2009. This
Act states that an apology
cannot be used as evidence of
llablllty In any dvll proceeding.
Seven other provinces have
similar leglslatlon.
Source: Cl M1tk Blln<h/Routors/Corbls
 7 I DELIVER I NG U NFAVOURAB L E N EWS

think an apolob'Y could admit liability, refer the matter to an experienced colleabrue or
company-affiliated legal expert.

Apologetic: I'm sorry that the order for five hundred embossed folders won't be
ready by September 12.

Explanatory: Due to shipping delays related to customs inspections, the

embossed folders you ordered will not be ready by September 12.
Would you like to keep this order or would you prefer to look at the
enclosed samples of comparable products from other suppliers?

Types of Bad News Messages

REFUSING REQUESTS FOR INFORMATION, ACTIONS,
AND FAVOURS
When refusing requests from people outside your organization, you can say no tactfully hy
using the indirect writing plan that buffers, explains, and softens the bad news. Putting rea-
sons hefore t.he refusal shows you are sensitive to the reader's concerns. It also prepares t.he
reader for unwanted news-namely that a request for lnfor.matfon, action, credit, or a favour
must he n.1med down. A direct writing plan is workable only when you know the reader
well or w hen politeness is not absolutely essential to maintaining a business relationship.

1. Buffer the opening. Writing a huffer can be difficult, so concentrate on infonnation

that is relevant t.o the message as a whole hut isn't so positive that it misleads the reader.
2. Give reason(s) for the refusal. limit your explanation to the main reason for refus-
ing the request, focusing on what you can rightfully disclose in order to help t.he
reader accept your decision. Be hrief and make it plausible.
3. Soften or s ubordinate the bad news. Avoid harsh , negative phrasing and use one
or several de-emphasizing techniques to cushion the bad news. Your refusal shoi1ld
be unequivocal- not open to interpretation or so subtle that readers miss the point.
Implied refusals, however tactful they may be, may not say no clearly enough.
4. Offe r an alternative or compromise if a good one is available. You have just stated
what you cannot do. Is there something that you can do in resporLse to the reader's
request? Provide an alternative or compromL~e only Lf it's a viable one.
5. Renew good,vill in closing. A since re, forward-looki ng ending can renew good feel-
ings. but it is unlikely to succeed if it sounds sarcastic or cliched or u it doesn't fit the
circum.~tances. Ending wi.th wt: are happy to have helped in thi.~ matter and lo()h f(/rward
to providing more information whenever we can is illogi.cal if a company has just refused
to help. Keep the closing pleasant and focused on the reader by maintaining a since re
you-atti.tude or making a comment that reduces the sense of limi.tation imposed hy
the had news.

The message in Figure 7.3 politely turns down a request for volunteers to participate
in a local charity's rundraising event. It opens by offering praise for the event but also sets
the stage for a refusal by setting Limits on participation. The policy on which the refusal
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
FI GU RE 7 .3
Refusing Requests for
Information, Actions,
and Favours
Opens neutrally on relevant
topic but without reference
to the bad news
Second paragraph establishes
logical basis for refusal through
Its explanation
Announcement of bad news
deemphasized by dependent
clause placement, passive
voice construction, and offer
of alternative
Concludes with good wishes
and forward -looking remark
will ultimately he hased is explained, rather than sim ply stated, so that readers can under-
sta nd how it is beneficial and fai r.. Rath er than hiding behind policy, the wri ter shows that
the refusal is hased on legal obstacles, not on staffs unwilli."brness to participate. A good
news alternative helps to ha lance the refusal, and the message ends with good wishes and
a forward -looking remark.
Edmonton Public Television
14 Media Street I Edmonton, AB T9C 2G8 I (780) 555-3399 I www.ept .ca
Au gust 12, 2013
Ms. Sasha Ibrahim
Fundralslng Administrator
Alliance for Living Standards
400 Telner Road
Edmonton, AB B3W 1Z4
Dear Ms. Ibrahim:
~ The premier event of your Alliance for Living Standards' upcoming fundralslng
drive, Race against Poverty, Is recognized throughout Edmonton for Its success
In raising awareness of local community Issues and providing much-needed
assistance to families In crisis. Edmonton Public Television supports the
commitment of volunteers whose terms of employment allow them to take
part In such worthy events.
~
As you are perhaps aware, our organization Is publicly funded. Its mandate Is to
provide fair, unbiased, non-partisan coverage of local and national news events.
This commitment Is made so that our reports accurately reflect the greater
Edmonton community and the Issues that affect It. Although, as employees of a
Crown corporation, our on-air persona litIes, journalists, and technicians are not
- -1- permitted to represent our organization at charitable or fundralsing events, we
would like to Invite your spokesperson to take part In a three-member panel
discussion on fall fundralslng events that will be televised live locally on
September 16. Our lineup editor will provide you with the full details once
you've Indicated your willingness to take part.
We wish you every success In your fund raising drive and look forward to seeing
- -1- the Alliance for Living Standards represented In our panel discussion.
Sincerely,
Ri o. S~dle-1
Rita Shelley
Communications Manager
 7 I DELIVERIN G UNFAV O URA B LE N E W S

REFUSING CLAIMS
Not all claims are valid or reasonahle. Some are the result 0 an honest mistake or mis-
informati on on the part 0 the clai mant. A rare few are fraud ulent. Saying no to someone
who is anready dissatisfied enough to make a clai m can he diI6cult. Jn refusing a claim ,
you may ind yoursel in the middle of an upsetting or hostile situation that can ea.~ily
deteriora te. Using the ind irect approach all ows you t.he t.act to let the reader down gently.
Its emph.asL~ on an explanation helps you communicate the desire to he fair and encour-
ages the reader to helieve that the claim has heen given thorough and serious considera-
tion. The d ual purpose 0 a claim response, even a negative one, is to put the matt.er to rest
while retaining the goodwill and patronage of current customers.

1. Begin with a statement of appreciation, common ground , or unders tanding.

Opening with a refusal is enough to shock an unprepared reader. Instead, open neutrally.
even if it is just to thank the reader for bringing the m.atter to the com pany's attention:

We appreciate your taking the time to write to us regarding your purchase and we
welcome the opportunity to explain our price matching policy.

We can understand your concern when you received an invoice for an amount
substantially higher than what you had anticipated.

Your purchase of an Exacta product comes with a twenty-year record of quality assurance.

The XBJ software you purchased recently is the only software in its price range with
superior graphics capability.

I can appreciate your need for a dependable air conditioning system, especially during
the summer months.

FIGURE 7 . 4

Ineffective Claim Refusal

Dear Mr. D'Agostlno: (extract)

We cannot refund the price difference on your recent purchase of an .... Opens with a direct refusal-
the mader may Mver gQt to
80-glgabyte Western Digital hard drive unit because you are mistaken about our the explanation
price-protection guarantee. This guarantee applies to boxed products only. If
Only partially explains why the
you had read the fine print of our price -guarantee agreement, as posted on our
price protection guarantee
website, I am sure you would have realized that you do not qualify under the doesn't apply
terms of your purchase. It Is Impossible for us to match the price of S107
advertised by Megabyte Computers.

The extra $73 you have paid reflects our assurances that your quality Rephrases the refusal several
times and constantly reminds
purchase Is supported by the best warranty In the business. If we were to make
the reader of the price difference
adjustments In all cases such as yours, we could no longer promise to stand that cannot be refunded
behind the products we sell.
Mechanical dosing does
I know that you must be very upset that your claim has been denied, but I am
nothing to renew goodwill
sure you can understand our desire to be fair In these situations. It Is our pleasure
to have served you and we look forward to your future business.
 COMMUNI C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
FIGURE 7 . 5
Effective Claim Refusal
Opens neutrally with a
statement of company policy
and philosophy; last sentence - - - For top-quality computer merchandise at the lowest possible price, thousands like
foregrounds main topic of the
claim response
Offers factual explanation In
neutral language and makes
Important distinctions that lead
to a logical conclusion
Refusal de emphasized
by dependent clause and
conciliatory offer of next best
altematlve
Closes by expressing confidence
In a continued business
relatlonshlp
Computer Giant
41 Tech Sh'eet, Markham, ON M4C 6K8
1888-234-5555 www.CompuGiant.com
March 26, 2014
Mr. Don D'Agostino
154 Confederation Road
Toronto, ON M2W 4C8
Dear Mr. D'Agostino:
you have come to rely on Computer Giant. Our confidence in the computer products
we sell prompted us to establish our price-protection guarantee.
This guarantee applies to all factory-sealed equipment and entitles our customers to
the lowest advertised price on identical items. In other words, we'll match the price
< /
"-.
as long as the model number matches. To qualify for an immediate point-of-
purchase discount or a refund within thirty days, a customer need only produce
verified proof of purchase or a copy of an advertised price listing.
Because we not only sell for less but also promise to stand behind everything we
sell, we must be able to back each product's warranty. When an item comes to us
unsealed from the factory, it is sold as an OEM (original equipment manufacturer)
product. The lack of packaging means an OEM product is more susceptible to damage
during shipping. The extra care Computer Giant takes in bringing OEM products to
you is reflected in a slightly different cost structure when compared with retail boxed
products. Because we wanted our customers to be aware of this important difference,
we adopted the slogan "Packaged Products, Better Prices."
- .,. The 3-terabyte Western Digital hard drive unit you purchased from us for S180
is an OEM product. It comes with a three-year warranty and our pledge to you of
high performance and reliability. This hard drive unit is, as you rightly pointed out,
available for less elsewhere. The Computer Giant price reflects our assurances to you
that your quality product comes with the best warranty in the business. Although our
price-protection guarantee does not apply in this case, we would like you to accept
the enclosed coupon redeemable for a 20 per cent discount on your next retail boxed
purchase at Computer Giant. This coupon can be used in conjunction with our price-
protection guarantee.
.,. We value your business and look forward to offering you packaged products at
better prices.
Sincerely,
Ryan Tan
Communications Manager
Enc.
 7 I DELIVER I NG U NFAVOURAB L E N EWS

Don't raise false hopes or mL~lead readers into believing they're entitled to something
they're n ot with a statement such as you were absolutely right in brin&l\ngyour problem to
our immediate attention.
2. Provide a concise, factual explanation. Use emotionally neutral, objective language
to review facts of a sale or dispute and explain wh y a claim must he refused. To show
a desire to he fair, acknowledge any correct assertion by the claiman t and avoid
assigning blame (e.g., avoid responses such as if you had rt:ad the instructions wrefelly
you would have realized your claim is invalid). Remind th e claimant pleasan tly about
a sta ted or unstated company policy hut don't use it as a smokescreen. Briefly show
how the policy is reasonable by emphasizing its pmpose or benefits in the current cir-
cumstances. Avoid negative language that conveys distrust- you claim that, you state
that, you Jailed to- and edi t long-winded explanations that can leave readers feeling
patronized or hoodwin ked.

3. Don't apologi ze for saying no . Apolobl\ze only if the situation truly warrants it.
Even then, a brief I'm sorry early in your letter does the job. Unnecessary apologies
can weaken your perceived authority. Hedging your refusal can give readers the false
impression that your decision isn't final. A fim1 yet help ful refusal tells a potentially
persistent claimant that the matter isn't open to further discussion . Implied refusals
are workable, hut only if the claiman t can fully grasp that the answer is no.

4. End in a friendly, confident, conciliatory way. Don't close by reminding the claim-
ant <1f the refusal o r hy using language that implies the claimant \Vill he dissatis-
fied with your decision and therefore stop being your customer. Assume the role of
proh lem-solver. When a full adjustmen t is not possible, conside r if you can offer th e
claimant the next best thing- an alternative or compromise, perhaps in the form of
a suhstitute service, minor repair, or replacement product. lf it is in your company's
best in terest to do so, provide in formation about where the claiman t can seek help
with I.he problem or go for servicing on a produ ct. If a claim has been denjed only for
lack of supporti.ng documentation , suggest that the claimant resubmit the request for
adjustment. Otherwise, do not invite the claimant to try again.

REFUSING CREDIT
Refusing cred it can cause hard feeli ngs, with consequences for future busin ess. Given the
sensitive nature o f th is type of message, most companjes prepare carefully worded, lawyer-
reviewed credit refusals (oft.en as templates) for use hy credit managers and their depart-
ments. These letters can vary in con ten t depending on I.h e source of negative in form ation.
ln all cases, the goal is to draft a sensitive, respectful refusal th at says no \vithout
criticizing applicants for their low cash reserves, debt.s, or poor credit records -and
\vithout :raising false expectations of future credit. Being careful in ha n dling third-party
information from credit agencies about an applicant's record reduces the chance of Hti
gation. It. is sometimes in a company's best interest to g ive n o reason fo r the den ial but
to simply refer the applicant to the credit agency on whose inrorrnation the decision is
based. A cour teous, respectful ton e and, if appropriate, a cheerful reminder th at orders
can still he Ailed on a cash basis help keep the letter as positive as possible despite cu r-
ren t circu mstances.
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
FI GU RE 7.6
Ineffective Credit Refusal
(ext ract)
Makes harsh rerusal In the
first paragraph
Denies applicant recourse to
review his credit report
Offers no altematlve and Is
pessimistic about success of
Mure credit appllc21tlons
Dear Mr. Robillard:
,.. A~er reviewing your credit report, prepared for us by a well-known credit agency,
we have concluded that you are a poor credit risk. We must therefore refuse your
credit application.
- -- The report we received documented several loans on which you defaulted. We
believe that It Is In your best Interest for us not to approve your credit request, as
we do not want to contribute to the situation offlscal mismanagement In which
your small firm already flnds 1ltself.
,.. We might consider future credit applications from you, but only If your credit
record shows considerable Improvement.
Sincerely,
Francine Dubois
Follow these steps when writi ng credit refusals:
1. Buffer the opening. Begin hy referring to the ci:edit application and expressing appre
ciation for the customer's business.
2. Use discretion in explaining the reason for the refusal. Be careful in d isclosing
third-party information from credit agencies. Business clients often provide financial
information directly to suppliers. Only in these ci rcumstances are you free to state
your reasons straightforward ly, and even then you must exercise tact to avoid offend-
ing anyone.
3. Soften the refusal with a passive-voice construction. A refusal such as credit cannot
b1: extended to you at this time is less Likely to cause had reelings than we wnnot extend
credit to you or your credit application has failed.
4. Offer incentives to sustain business. Point out the advantages of doing business on
a cash basis.
TURNING DOWN JOB APPLICANTS
A single job advertisement can net hund reds o r applications, but only one person will
eventually land the job. A sad fact of the hiring process is that many applicants. must he
turned down. Sending wri tten noti fication to every unsuccessful cand idate is oftt:'.11 impos-
sible, so many j oh ad ve rtL~ements now state that only cand idates selected ror an interview
will be cont.acted .
Companies I.hat do have the resources to inform applican ts may d raft a rej ection let
ter based on the ind irect approach, which is still widely preferred for communicating bad
news to job applicants, or the direct approach , which is increasingly common. In either
 7 I DELIVER I NG UNFAV OURAB L E NEWS

FIGURE 7 . 7

Megabyte Computers Effective Credit Refusal

42 Telemark Street Toronto, ON N9K 1JS

416-322-4481
www.megabyte.com

September27,2013

Mr. Frank Robillard

RobTek Enterprises
11 Livingstone Road
Toronto, ON M1K 1Z4

Dear Mr. Robillard:

Opens neutrally, expressing
Thank you for the order for one hundred flat-screen PC monitors that you
.,._ appreciation for business
without referring to the
placed with us last week. You can find no better monitors on the market today
bad news
than our G-3000 series. We appreciate your patronage and hope to continue
serving you In the future.

According to our standard practice, we submitted your credit application to

Equifax Canada. After carefully reviewing their report', we find that credit cannot
.. - Offers tactfu I explanation of the
processing of the credit request

Refusal softened through use

be extended to you at this time. If you would like to learn more about your
of passive voice and offer of
record, you may speak with an Equifax representative at (416) 731 -8863. In altematlve
due course, when your firm's financial situation Improves, we look forward
to serving you on a credit basis.

In the meantime, we wlll be happy to fill your current order on a cash basis,
with our customary 4 per cent cash discount.
Closes with forward looking
When you need high-quality computer monitors, we're glad that you think expression of confidence In
current or future business
of us. If we can do business with you now or In the future, please call us at
1-800-992-2921.

SI nc.erely,

Francine Dubois
Communications Manager

case, a joh rejecr.ion has to he courteous and respectful , suhordi nating the had news to a
message of good luck and encouragement. Ignoring r.hese general principles comes at a
cost. Insensitive rejection letters aren't only damaging to applicants' egos but al~o w the
corporate image, earning a reputation for treating applicant.~ bad ly. Effective employment
refusals, on the other hand, preserve a company's good name and leave the applicant's
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
FI GU RE 7.8
Ineffective Employment
Refusal (extract)
Applicant not addressed by
name; bad news doubly stated
at beginning
Writer centred explanation
discloses confidential
Information, giving the
Impression that lhe outcome
of the )ob competition was
predetermined
lnlended comp IIme nt weakens
confidence In the refusal and
patronizes the appll cant
Good wishes Incorporate
reminder of the difficulty of
Ondlng suitable work
self-esteem int.act so that the rejection is less likely to be taken personally. This practice
helps t.o ensure there are ready applicants for the next job ope11ing.
Because time and resources a re often at a premhtm, form letters are a common way of
notifying a sizable applicant pool. The "merge" feature in word-processing software can be
used to personalize a standard letter, allowing each applicant to be addressed individually.
A form leu.er is an acceptable way to decHne unsolicited applications and to inform appli-
cants eliminated from the candidate pool pri or to inte rview. A personal letter is a must
for applicants selected for interview but not hired hecause these ind ividuals have already
spent much time and effo rt pursuing a position.
Here are a few things t.o remember as you prepare to comm unicate bad news t.o job
applicants:
1. Open by cushioning the refusal. To avoid breaking the bad news too harshly, thank
the applicant for applying or politely e>q1ress appreciation for his or her inte rest. A
general comment on the overall standard of applications is another common way to
begin (We were very impressed by the applications we received). A well-intentioned open-
ing should never mislead the applicant into t.hinki.ng he or she got I.he job.
2. Give reasons for the company's selection, if it is possihle to do so. Without going
into specifics or mentioning an applicant's personal deficiencies, briefly explain the
hasi..~ for your selection. Take care to protect 1.h e confidentiality of deci..~ion-makers.
Never disclose details of the select.ion process or legally sensitive information that
could embarrass your organization or invite litigation. Volunteering too mu ch infor-
mation or expressing a personal opinion (for example, if it were up to me, I'd hire you)
can he risky and hurt.fut.
Dear Applicant:
.... I regret to Inform you that your application for the position of IT speclallst has
been unsuccessful and we will not be hiring you.
I trust you will understand this was a most difficult decision for us. Our hiring
- -. committee was split on whether to give external applicants equal consideration
with those who have worked for us for many years. After much disagreement, we
realized we would face legal challenges unless we hired from within. In the end,
we offered a promotion to Anna Marla di Marco from her former position as junior
IT speclallst. The final acceptance of our offer was delayed, hence the
lateness of our notification to you.
Personally, I would have liked to have had you on staff. You are a bright young
thing and we can certainly use people with talents such as yours.
We wish you success In flndlrng an equally good position In this most competitive
fleld.
 7 I DELIVER I NG UNFAVOURABLE NEWS

FIGURE 7 .9

JavaTech Inc. Effective Employment

Refusal
83 Industry Street
Toronto, ON M9K 4G7
www.JTl.com

November 13, 2013

Ms. Jody McAllister

11 Wellington Road
Toronto, ON MSN 1Z6

Dear Ms. McAllister:

Opens with appreciation for
expression of Interest In the
On behalf of the members of our hiring committee, I want to thank you for .. - company and general comment
your Interest In joining our IT specialist team and for your Impressive application. on overall quality of appllcatlons
We received a great number of applications, all of which were of extremely
hlgll quality.

After conducting a careful review In light of the needs of the team, our hiring
committee has now completed Its search for a senior IT specialist. Although Refusal softened by use of the
we are unable to offer you a position at this time, our decision Is In no way a passive voice and the prospect
of future consideration
reflection of your potential In the IT field. We will keep your credentials In our
confidential file for one year should you wish to apply for another advertised
posi tlon with our company.
Closes with good wishes for
Members ofthe committee join me In extending best wishes for you In your +--+- app11cant
futurre career.

P~lo Ci0-v-o(ul/o
Paolo Ciardullo
Human Resources Coordinator

3. Quickly move on to the bad news. State the had news only once, using appropriate
de-emphasizing techniques and a personal, humane tone.
4. Gen tly encourage the applicant. O ffer a positive message of good luck expressed
wi th si ncerity, not false nattery Point to future employment possibilities if you are
interested in hiring the applicant when there is a suitable opening (for example, men
tion that the application will he kept on file.)

ANNOUNCING BAD NEWS TO EMPLOYEES

Bad news is often hand led differen tly when the aud ience in question is within an organ iza
tion rather than outside it. Announcements of setbacks (e.g., lost contracts, 1ising benefi t
 ID CO MM UN I CATI NG FOR RESU LTS

costs, declining profits, and puhlic relations crises) and reminders of unpopular policies
or altered procedures (e.g., reduced henefits, cuthacks, and reductions in raises) have the
potential to affect employee morale and performance. Information on these issues has to
he communicated skilfully- in a way that motivates employees to comply with new meas-
ures and accept less advantageous circumstances.
From a managerial standpoint in particular, it helps
to he ahle to explain why a change is necessary and
how it relates to husiness ohjectives.
Individual organizations pass on unfavourable
Read Tim Donnelly's "How to Deliver news to their employees in diffe rent ways. Some
Bad News to Employees"for tips on organizations use a direct approach for all in ternal
handling such announcements in the messages, no matter if the news is good or had.
workplace: http://goo.gi/QMJnG Others use the indirect approach if the negative
infom1at.ion is new or surprising. Usually, the mo re
seri ous the had news is, the more reader.s benefit
from an explanation that helps them. take stock of
the situation and put it in perspective. Your know-
ledge of your organization- based on its size, val-
ues, goals, and openness of communication- can help you communicate had news more
effectively Before you wri te, you should have fim1 answers to the followi ng qi1estions:

Why has the decision forcing the announcement of bad news been made?
What is the purpose of the change?
How does the had news affect employees?

On September 6, 2011 , Yahoo

CEO Carol Bartz sent an e-mall
to employees, telllng them that
the company's chairperson had
fired her over the phone. How
does this situation compare
with the guidelines offered In
this chapter, both In regards t o
the method of dlsmlssal and
the Informing of t he staff?
Sourca: AP Photo/P.ul Sokum1, fila
 7 I DELIVERING UNFAVOURABLE NEWS

FIGURE 7. 10

Subject: Changes to Insurance Benefits Plan Announcing Bad News

Date:Thursday, April 3, 2014 8:31 AM to Employees
From: Marlene Tsang
To: Insurance Benefits Plan Employees Opens with brief statement of

To maintain the quality of disability coverage, effective May 1 all employees who are
.. . benefits and direct statement
of bad nows and when now
currently covered under Ridgeway Realty's insurance benefits plan will see an increase measure goes Into effect
in their long-term disability (LTD) premium. Since this is an employee-paid benefit, the
premium increase will be deducted from paycheques commencing with the May 15
pay period.

Ridgeway Realty, as part of the Ridgeway Group of Companies, is on an annual renewal

schedule with Great North Provident, our LTD provider. Our rate will be increasing by
S0.20perS100 of monthly benefit, an increase of approximately 11 per cent. Details and purpose of
the change help to reduce
The reason for this increase is based on the fact that all LTD providers are experiencing .._--t- resistance; language Is factual
significant increases in claims, many of which are for"new disabilities that were not and unapologetlc
prevfously deemed as such. On average, rates in the industry are up by between 20
and 30 per cent. Directs recipients to additional
resources offering Information
Please refer to the LTD policy found on our intranet site under the heading "Benefits .,._.., and further Interpretation of
for information on how to calculate your semi-monthly LTD premium. the change

If you have any questions, please contact me at extension 531.

Marlene Tsang
Benefits Administrator
Ridgeway Realty
250 Granite Street
Toronto, ON MSW 2P1
Tel: 41 6971 4329, ext. 531
Fax: 416-971-9320

DECLINING INVITATIONS
Invitations are an integral part of business lire. They offer valuah le opportun ities to
network, learn, and promote your organization. vVhen you must decline an invitation
to speak at or attend an event, how you communicate your regrets depends on how
well you know the reader and how much your attendance is expected. For large-scale
events where your ahsence is unlikely to cause disappointment, it is possible to send
brier regrets along with an expression o r thanks for the invitation. When tuming down
an invitation from an important client or superior, you must ensure your refusal won't
seem li ke a personal rebuff. Though your refusal can still be brief, make a special effort
to maintain goodwi ll hy adopting a wam1 tone and focusing on something positive ahout
the situation.

1. Express appreciation for the invitation or pay the reader a compliment. Recognize
the sii:,rnlficance of the event, event sponsor, or organization.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

2. Express your regret at not being able to attend and, if appropriate, explain why
you are unavailable. llriefly offer a valid reason for not accepting- not a weak or
trivial excuse that might belittle the event or its hosts or organizers. Use th.e passive
voice or keep the reason V%'1.le if you need to soften a refusal that might he taken
too personally.
3. Propose a constructive alternative if one is available. Name someone to speak in
your place or exp ress interest in attending a future event.
4. End by n:newlng goodwill. Close on a friendly note with good wishes for success, a
word of thanks or praise, or a forward-looking remark. Don't backtrack to th.e refusal.
Tact and coiirtesy will earn your readers' respect and keep you on their guest lists.

FIGURE 7 . 11

Ineffective Refusal of
Invitation (extract)
Dear Ms. Gupta:
Condescending, self-Important
tone
-. As much as I would like to oblige you by speaking at your annual awards
banquet, corporate business takes me elsewhere on March 14. My company
always comes first and I have no alternative but to hold to my original schedule.
Delivers the bad news early
and repeatedly -. This of course means that I will not be speaking at your awards banquet.

Closing falls to convey good ~ I hope the event will not suffer as a result of my absence. Please contact me If
wishes or to show appreciation ~ you need help In finding another speaker.
for the Invitation
Sincerely,

Kyle Jackson
 7 I DELIVER I NG UNFAV OURAB L E NEWS ~

FIGURE 7 . 12

Stonehall Productions Effective Refusal

of Invitation
314 Cherry Street, Toronto, ON MSA 1A9
4169288950
www.stonehallprod.com

April 17, 2014

Ms. Neelam Gupta

Communications Coordinator
SPNI - Stop Poverty Now!
130 Wellington Road
Ottawa, ON K1 A ON4

Dear Ms. Gupta:

-
Opening compliments
You have good reason to be proud of your organization's Impressive the mader and expresses
appreciation for the Invitation
achlevements this year. There Is perhaps no greater g lft to the community
than the ellmlnatlon of child poverty, and I am honoured to have been asked to
speak at your annual awards banquet. That you would consider me as a potential
keynote speaker at such a gathering Is genuinely flattering.
Offers a plausible but not
On checking my schedule, I was sorry to find that I wlll be attending the ...~1--+-- overly detailed reason for
annual general meeting of our parent company In Geneva on that date. not being available

Although your generous Invitation must be declined, I will see to It that our Uses the passive voice to
program of corporate sponsorship for your fund raising events continues In the decline the Invitation and
year ahead. attempts to compensate by
offering an alternative
As I fully support your Initiatives, I would welcome the opportunity to speak at Closes with a forward looking
a future event. I wish you well with what Is sure to be a splendid evening. remark and good wishes,
reinforced by a frlendly tone
SI ncerely,

Kyle Jackson
Vice President, Finance
 COMMUNICATING FOR RESU LTS

Cl Apply the direct or indirect approach according to the type of bad news and its audience.
Cl Never mislead the reader by implying that the purpose of the message is to deliver
good news.
Cl Use an appropriate subject line.
Cl If you use a buffer, make sure it is neutral and relevant, not simply a delaying tactic.
Cl Limit the explanation of the bad news to relevant facts and details arranged in a logical
order. Make sure your reason is clear, complete, and airtight.
Cl Avoid hiding behind company policy; instead, show how the policy is reasonable by
explaining its purpose or benefits.
Cl State the bad news only once, clearly.
Cl For direct approach messages, begin with a concise statement of the bad news, followed
by a brief explanation, alternative, and goodwill closing.
Cl For indirect-approach messages, buffer, explain, and de-emphasize the bad news and
close with expressions of goodwill.
Cl Offer a counter-proposal or alternative if a good one is available and provide enough
information for the reader to act on that alternative. Taking this step shows that you care.
Cl Use neutral, respectful, and non-accusatory language to maintain goodwill. Avoid a
condescending, patronizing, know-it-all tone.
Cl End positively w ith a goodwill- building statement not related to the bad news while
avoiding cliches or remarks that suggest your decision isn't final.
Cl Don't invite further correspondence unless you truly want it.

WORKSHOPS AND DISCUSSION FORUMS

Analyze the foll owing excerpt from a letter and list iL~ faults and weaknesses. Using the chapter review checklist as your
guide, deci de how to revise it.

I regret to Inform you that it Is Impossible for us to admit children under the age
of six to our Junior Trekker summer camp program. Our camp policy does not
allow us to make any such exceptions, no matter how precocious or mature a
child may seem. To allow children of that age to participate In full-day activities
that even a ten -year-old might find challenging would endanger all campers and
put our operation at risk.

Thank you for understanding our position. Call us when your chi Id Is older. We
take pride In offering safe and fun activities for children of many ages.

. WRITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES
1. Evaluating Subject Lines. Revise the following sub-
ject lines from negative messages to make them more
reader-centred and neutral.
a) lnsurance Premiums Going Up
b) Layoffs Possible
c) Suspected Theft of Equipment
d) No More Personal Use of Photocopiers
2. Writing Plans for Bad News Messages. Identify which
writing plan-direct or indirect- you would use for
the following messages.
a) A memo to employees announcing the cancella-
tion of a lunchtime lecture series.
b) A let.I.er infom1ing a customer of a six-week post
ponement of on-site software training.
c) A memo to an immediate subordinate deny-
ing him a requested two-day leave to partici-
pate in a square-dancing competition. It is
company practice to write all internal messages
straightforwardly.
d) A memo from an executive rejecting a managers
phased retirement plan.
e) A letter from a roofing company denying a cus-
tomer'.<; request to repair a roof for which the war-
ranty expired five months ago.
3. Evaluating Buffer Statements. Analyze the strengths
and weaknesses or the following openings for had
news messages.
a) We were very happy to receive your recent request
for a refund or the purchase price of your new
XJL copier, the model Consumers Annual ranked
tops for efficiency and customer satisfaction.
b) \Ne are so son-y that we won't he repai1ing yoUT
poorly functioning air conditioning system.
c) Thank you for contacting Amitron about a mar-
keting position. l receive hundreds of appli-
cations from qualified college graduates just
Like you.
d) You honestly can't expect us to investigate a claim
for a product that is no longer under warranty.
e) vVe at Timberline Tire and Auto make every effort
to provide our customers with high-quality prod-
ucts at the lowest possible prices. We are com-
mitted to finding ways to make shopping at OUT
stores more convenient for you.
7 I DELIVER I NG U NFAVOURAB L E N EWS
f) Each year, our company sponsors a holiday dinner
for employees to show our appreciation for their
hard work and commitment, hut th.is year severe
budget cuts prevent us &om hosting such an event.
g) You are surely our best-dressed sales representa-
tive. I always look forward to receiving proposals
from well -attired staff members.
4. Softening the Bad News with Subordinate Clauses
and the Passive Voice. Use dependent clauses and/or
passive-voice constructions to de-emphasize the had
news in each of the following statements.
a) We cannot extend credit to you at this time but
we invite you to fill your order on a cash basis.
b) We cannot waive service charges on chequing
accounts.
c) It is impossible for us to send you the informa
tion you requested. We can provide you only
with an updated price list.
d) We cannot substitute a more expen sive it.em for
the one you purchased, hut we are sending you a
complimentary upgrade kit.
S. Evaluating Bad News Statements. Discuss the weak-
nesses of the following statements and revise them
as needed.
a) It is utterly impossible for us to ship your order
before November 10.
b) How can you honestly expect us to act on your com-
plaint more than three years after yoUT purchase?
c) Since you failed to include the sales receipt, we
refuse to give you a refund.
d) Although we cannot offer you a position at this
time, we wL~h you t.he best in finding employ-
ment equal to your fine qualificat.ions.
e) vVe cannot grant your request, but we can assure
you that your next visit to our conference facility
will not he so unpleasant.
f) To be honest, we like your resume, hut. we find
we must hire from within or face legal action
from our current employees.
g) We cannot provide you with t.he: infom1ation
you requested because doing so would violate
agreements with our employees and eiqiose us to
legal action.
h) We don't accept credit cards.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
6. Evaluating closings. Analyze the weakn esses o r the
following letter closings and revise them as needed.
a) We thank you for understanding o ur position
and hope to see you in our store very soon.
b) I am sorry that we were forced to re fuse yo ur
application, hut l wish you the hest of luck in
finding employment when there is so much com
petition ror the few jobs that are available.
c) Please accept our apologies for discontinuing this
popular service. We hope you will still shop with
. CASE' STUDY EXERCISES
1. Refusing1a Request. Editors oft.he mon thly puhli-
cation National Busint:ss have asked you , a consult-
ant \vith Brandwise Solutions, to wTite a hrief case
study article for their magazine. In particular r.hey
are interested in your response to the rehrandi ng of
Goliath Groce ri es, Canadas fourth-largest supermar-
ket chain, which com mands a 14 per cent market
share. Goliath has recently merged il~ distribution
network, S\vitched over to large-fo rmat stores, and
repositioned itself as a whole foods and express foods
retailer in o rder to gain a market niche distinct from
recently arrived US rivals such as Stars and Stripes
of Arkansas. Although you would like to offer your
opinions on the subject, you fear a possihle conflict
of interest since your consulting firm advised on the
branding and redesign of Goliath's low-price chai n,
Save-a-Ih 1ck. You are also sched uled to leave this
evening ror a three-month ove rseas consulting job.
Write to the editors declining their req uest hut leav
ing the cl oor open for future writing opportunities.
2. Refusing a Claim. As owner and proprietor of
Audiophile CDs and Multimedia, you must refuse
the claim of Jaso n Yee. Mr. Yee recently purchased
CDs valued at $750 from your downtown Vancouver
store. A few days later, he hrought them hack \vith
opened packaging and asked fo r a refund, saying that
he was disappointed \vith their sound quality. When
he was refused, Mr. Yee decided to write to you in
person to complain, angrily. Although you don't
want to accuse Mr. Yee of wi:ongdoing, you realize
that the practice of copyi ng CDs and then returning
them is well documented and \vides pread. ln fact.,
us despite this added inconvenience.
d) Although we must. turn down your request for a
refund, we usually do issue refunds if merchan-
dise is undamaged and returned within ten days
of the date of purchase.
e) If we knew the answer to your q uestion, we
woi1ld he only too happy to provide you \vith the
infom1at.ion that you are seeking. Perhaps we will
ahle to help you with a future inquiry.
your profits have suffered as a result of it. A year ago,
out o r respect ror copyright law as it applies to the
recording ind ustry, you revoked your noq uestions-
asked return policy. You st.ill offer refunds, hut only
on itt"1ns that haven't been opened. Write to Mr. Yee
refusing his request.
3. Refusing a Claim. As manager of human resources,
you must refuse a request ror reimhursement ro r
additio nal moving exp enses from Roger Laramie,
the new assistant manager of Information Systems.
When Roger transrerred divisions last mon th from
Montreal t.o Calgary, he was promised the standard
relocation allowance of $5,000 to cover cartage and
insurance costs for a long-distance move, based on
estimates for the contents of a three-bedroom home.
As soon as Roger received news of his transrer, he
was informed that out-of-province moves for your
company are handled hy Express Movers, a corporate
moving specialist offering discounted rat.es. Despite
the existing agreement with Express Movers, Roger
instead signed a colltract with Elite Movers, a com-
pany whose rates are substantially higher because of
their experience in shipping fragile short-wave radio
equipment such as his. As a result, the claim for mov
ing expenses he submitted exceeded $9,000. Wri te to
Roger explaining your reasons for the refusal while
at.tempting to retain his goodwil l.
4. Refusing a Claim. As ow11er of Cedar Country Decks
and Fences, you must refuse the following claim.
Josh Starowicz, president of Animatronix Computer
Animation, has asked you to repair his offices roof-
top deck, which you installed eight years ago when

the century-old building was owned by Caption
Advertising. On completion of the carpentry, you
applied a generous coat of Thompsons Water Seal
and advL~ed Gord McNamara, Capt.ion's president,
that the sealant should be reapplied regularly. To help
him maintain the deck cheaply, you even offered him
a low-cost annual maintenance contract, which he
refused. When Animatronix purchased the prop
erty and moved in a year ago, staff members were
alam1ed at the cond ition of the deck- boards were
warped and rotten, sections of the secu rity railing
were mL~sing, and stai r treads were loose. Apparently,
Mr. McNamaras cousin , a general contracto r, had
hern called in to do repairs but had ceased work afteT
sanding away the remain ing sealant, hastening the
decks deterioration. Although you normally guaran-
tee your work, you do not feel justified in repairing
it at no cost, according to Mr. St.arowicz's request.
The damage clearly resulted from poor maintenance
and shoddy workmanship by other contracto rs. In
addition, the cost of materials alone for such a job
would exceed $.5,000, an expeme your small busi-
ness simply can't absorb. Although you firmly helieve
that fault does not rest wi th you, you would like to
retain the goodwill of the buildings new owner, in
part because neighbouri ng businesses have recen tly
been accepting bids for deck projects. Write to
Mr. Starowicz refusing his claim but offering a solu-
tion, perhaps in the form of a free inspection or a
discount on repairs.
S. Refusing Credit. As credit manager at Concept Office
Furniture, you must tum down a credit application
from Alan Medwell of Discount Realty. Mr. Medwell
has placed a sizable order for modular office fur-
niture, asking for 120-day cred it terms. Though
Disc.aunt Realty has been a good customer in the
past, a review of its financial statement and infor-
mation supplied by credit references has led you to
conclude that the fim1 is in financi al difficulty. Refuse
Mr. Medwells request for credit while encouraging
h L~ business now or in the future .
6. Announcing Bad News to Employees. As head of the
occupational health and safety committee at you r
workplace, you are concerned about the practice of
stocking employee kitchenettes with free coffee and
cookies. Lately you have begun to notice that har-
ried employees routi nely skip lunch a11d instead grab
7 I DELIVER I NG UNFAV OURAB L E N EWS
handfuls of cookies to eat at their desks. While you
understand the necessity for these makeshift meals,
you feel that there is room in the budget to provide
healthier ah.ernatives to these high-fat, carbohydrate
laden snacks. In fact, the health and safety committee
voted \vith you in favour of such a motion at a recent
meeting, hut you anticipate a high level of resistance
from employees for whom the cookies are a dietary
staple. Write a memo to all staff announcing that,
effective next month, kitche11ettes \vill be stocked with
a selection of fresh frui L~. whole-grain snacks, and
spri ng water instead of the usual coffee and cookies.
Consider which approach would be most appropriate.
7. Announcing Bad News to Employees. When yo u
established a11 on-site fitness program a year ago, you
had no idea how popular it would be. Employees at
your small packaging plant quickly signed up for free
lunch-hour and after-work yoga sessions and Pilat.es
classes. Enrolment soon reached capaci ty, prompting
you to ex11and the program at additional cost to you.
After a few inquiries, however, you were upset to dis-
cover that non-employees routinely breach security
and take part in dasses meant solely for the bene-
fit of employees. You would prefer not to cancel the
program because it has helped to reduce absentee
ism and indirectly boost productivity, hut you must
enforce limits on participation in order to keep costs
down. E-mail the staff reminding people of the pro
grams participation restrictions.
8. Announcing Bad News to Employees. In past years,
your company has hosted a premier COTPOrate enter
tait1ment event for all employees and their spouses/
partne rs in early December. The cellebration has
always featured a cocktail reception, three-course
dinner, live entertainment, charity rarne, and dan-
cing. 0 11ly days before this years even t was to t.ake
place, however, there has been a serious outbreak of
salmonella at the planned venue, forcing a shutdown
of the hotels food services by the regional board of
health. Because the hotel's facilities are hooked until
February, it wi.ll not be possible to reschedule the
event in the immediate future. As events coordi nator
for your organization, you doubt that most people
would be happy wi.th a rebooking at this venue, given
the recent health alert. Write a group e-mail mes-
sage to employees informing them of the postpone
ment and possible cancellation of the !holiday party.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
Suggest an alternative that would stlll allow employ-
ees t.o socialize and celehrate the holiday season.
9. Announcing Bad News to Customers. As chief of the
services t.eam for a small lntemet provider, it is your
responsib ility to issue a virus alert to customers.
Your team recently detected a virus affecting several
compLtleTs in your network. Although the virus has
affected only a limited numher of memhers, you feel
it is appropriate to assume a proactive role in control-
ling viruses by co ntacti ng members, helping them
upgrade their operating systems, and providing them
with regular vi rus updates. Compose an e-mail mes-
sage to customers, dra\ving appropriate attention to
this important problem.
10. Announcing Bad News to EmployHs. As president
of a small insurance hrokerage firm, it is your task
to infomt employees of the upcoming expropria-
t.ion of your office premises for a new condominium
,.
~ ONLINE ACTIVITIES
1. Rules for Delivering Bad News. Read Robert Gies's
'The 10 Commandments for Delivering Bad News"
from foorbes online:
www.forhes.com/sites/forbesleadershipforum/
2012/05/30/10-cmmnandmen ts-for-de livering
-bad-news/
Then watch the following video of Maple Leaf
Foods PTesident and CEO Michael McCain as he
spoke in the wake of the 2008 listeria outbreak:
www.youtube.com/watch?v,,zlsNSAkjlAI
To what extent does McCain's speech uphold the
principles outlined in Biess article?
2. Varieties of Bad News Messages- Product Recalls.
Product recalls are a fom1 of crisis communication
development. This news was sudden and you have
had to move quickly to find a new locatio n, which
hasn't heen an easy task. High property taxes and
corporate rental rates in downtown Toronto have
forced you to relocate to Pickeri ng, many kilometres
from the downtown core. You know that several
employees may he inconve11ienced by this change,
as many live within walking distance of your cu r-
rent location. Some staffers do not even own cars for
the fifty-kilometre commute. On the plus side, the
new low-rise building to which you are relocating is
a state-of-the-art facility, with ample parking and easy
access to public transit. The increase in square foot-
age and money saved in rental fees means there will
he no layoffs as a result of the relocation. Compose
an e-mail message to employees informing them of
the changes. Remember to include a schedu le of the
proposed changes.
that alert consume rs and other stakeholders to health
and personal safety dangers arisi ng from the use o r a
commercial product (e.g., a brand of hottl.ed water
that contai ns glass frab>'lllenL~, an infant car-seat with
defective harness fasteners). Go to Health Canada's
Consumer Product Safety Advisories, Warnings and
Recalls site and choose a recall or alert notice for one
product. What types of information are included? Use
the link to the firms wehsite and compare the govern-
ment advisory with the company recall information.
www.hc-sc.gc.ca/cps-spdadvisories-avis/index
-eng.php
LEARNING OBJECTIVES

1. Identify the need for persuasive 6. Make contestable claims successfully.

communication.
7. Convince debtors to pay their bllls promptly.
2. Use the Indirect writing plan to persuade.
8. Compose effective sales letters and
3. Apply persuasive appeals. fundralslng messages.
4. Ask for favours and action persuasively.
S. Gain support for new Ideas In persuasive
memos.
 COMM U N I C ATI N G FOR RESU LTS
persuasion the process of
gradually 1nnucnc1ng attltudas and
behavioursand mouvatlng tho
audlancc to act.
FINANCIAL PLANNl!R Shannon Simmons relies on her persuasive skiffs to promote her tax
seminars through carefully planned, speclflcally targeted, and customized press and media
releases. Her advice Is to "Be creative. Make sure you have a catchy header- It has to get the
reader's attention In five seconds. or less. I usually write In the tone of the media company
I'm pitching to. If It's a more playful publlcatlon, I'll keep the tone upbeat." Simmons says
that, for her, writing a press release Is similar to tweaking a cover letter for a Job appllcatlon
because the same skills and techniques are Involved. No press release Is complete without
witty video dips of Simmons presenting money-saving tips, evidence of her ability to do the
job with her own brand of humour and media savvy.'
Writing Persuasively
How do you encourage the people you work and conduct husi ness with to agree wi th you
or do what you ask? When you ask for a favour, present new ideas, promote a product,
or explain how lO solve a prohlem, you can sometimes meet with resistance. People may
hesitate to do as you say if it involves time, money, effort, or change. When you have to
convince the reader r.o adopt your point of view or take a particular action, however, you
can rely on special persuasive strategies and an ind irect approach to help you gain com pli-
ance, minimize ohj ections, and get the results you seek
Persuasion (the auempt to in fl uence opinion) works at changing attitudes, beliefs,
and behaviours. It involves a skilful use o r words that help put ideas lnto action and make
things happen. Persuasive comm unication motivates readers to accept recommendations
and act on requests. It grad ually hreaks down resLstance and establishes rapport with read-
ers hy appealing to thei r needs, inte rests, values, and powers o r reason. The value of per-
suasive messaging is that it achieves i.ts purpose without threats or manipulation. 1t doesn't
coerce or mahe readers do something; it makes them want to do it, in part by rt:specting
their views and intelligence. Reasonable propositions. well-framed arguments, and vivid
supporting evidence-along wi tln the effort to establish credibility and rapport in a way
that makes the message relatable- are key to convincing people.
The ability to write persuasively is a valued workplace skill, and those who master it
earn kud os ror themselves and their companies through their ability to sell prod ucts and
ideas. Needless to say, persuasion L a skill \vith endless applications. Any message that
encourages action requires persu asion: favour requests, contestable claims, collection let-
ters, sales and fundraLsing letters, and job application letters (see Chapter 9). On an inter-
pe rsonal level and in the small groups that comprise todays wo rk envi ronments, where
cross-functional and often virmal teams are the norm, persuasive skills are essential lO the
exchange of ideas, prod uctivi ty, and inn ovation because they help to make things happen
both inside and outside of trad itional hierarchies.
PREPARING TO WRITE PERSUASIVELY
The followi ng are some points to remember when writing persuasive messages:
Know your purpose and what you want your reader to do. Your goal is not only to
make your request hut also to make it seem reasonable, appealing, and beneficial to
the reader. It L~ easier to convince your aud ience when you know exactly what your
purpose is before you begin t.o write. A good persua..ive message nrnst he in rom1ative,
 8 I PERS UA SI VE ME SSA GES

FIGURE 8 . 1
Self-actualization is the highest level of need, met
when people use their talents and problem-solving Maslow's Hierarchy
skills to serve humanity and live up to their potential. of Needs
EstHm is first among what Maslow termed "growth needs:'
The need for statu s, appreciation, and recognition leads
people to strive for status symbols, work promotions,
positions of authority, or good reputations.
Love and a sense of belonging are at a slightly higher level of need.
Most people seek acceptance, companionship, and group identity.
They don't want to be alone - they need to be needed.
Safety and security represent the next level of need. People are often motivated
by the fear of not having a comfortable standard of living, a good health
insurance or pension plan, reliable investments, job security, home security,
or a pleasant work environment. They want to hold onto the money and
resources that give them a sense of security.
Physiological nHds include basics such as food, shelter, clothing, medical care,
and a safe working environment.

so collect data that will help you overcome resistance and allow readers to follow
up easily.
Understand what motivates your reader. Analyze your audience in terms of its
perceived goals and need.$. Organizational psycho logist Abraham Maslow defi ned
these motivating factors in tem1s of an ascending hierarchy of needs, from the most Maslow's hierarchy of needs
basic at the bottom to the abstract at the top (see Figure 8.1). Once basic needs, Identified by Abraham Maslow,
a spcclnc order of necds-
which take priority, have been met, individuals move on to fulfill needs at higher physlolog1cal needs, safety and
levels. Persuasive writing taps into those motivational needs; therefore, it L~ important security, social needs, esteem,
to show how your request satisfies one or more of I.hem- how a product or policy and sclfactuallzanon- that
motivate humans.
benefits readers by saving them money, solving a problem, or helping them achieve a
work objective.
Consider design and layout. Opinions are often fom1ed before a message is read,
based on its appearance alone. A proper layout-one that conveys non-verbal messa-
ges through proportioning, typography, and use of whi.te space- puts a documen t in
a positive light and makes it look hoth attract-
ive and professional.
Be positive and accurate. Plan on adopting
a since re, confident tone and using positive,
you-centred lanbruage. Match your phrasing to
your relationship with the reader and avo id
Read "Abraham Maslow and the Pyramid -~.':Iii~~
giving the impression that you are hand ing that Beguiled Business; by William
out orders. Stick to the facts--c:lon't distort Kremer and Claudia Hammond, to learn
infonllation just to get your way. more about the hierarchy of needs and
Anticipate objections and plan how to deal how it applies to business: http://goo.gi/9RzhSs.
with them. Persuasion is necessary wheneve r
you expect resL~tance or when you think read-
ers would prefer to keep things as they are. lt
is im portant to consider why readers might
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
appeal an attampt to pcrsuada.
logical fallacy an error In
logic that weakens a persuasive
argumant (a.g., a pars.anal attack,
a mistaken assumption that one
event causes another, or reliance
on non expert testimony).
ohject to what you have to say and to he prepared to offer clear and compelling
counter-arguments to refute the opposing view. Overcoming opposition is a deli-
cate matter best done in a non-threatening and balanced way. Readers are naturally
more receptive and more likely to change their minds when their views have heen
respected, taken into account, and not si mply lahelled wrong. Try to frame your per
suasive request as a win-win proposition. A concession statement can let you acknow-
ledge those objections in a non -judgment.al way before you offer a rehuttal th.at proves
that what you are asking for makes sense and needs to he acted on (e.g., Although the
new syst1:m may cause some disruptions at first, it will speed proces~ing dramatically and
give us access to all relevant company-wide databases).
To counter resistance and encourage readers to say yes, present your request in light
of one of the following arguments:
Short-term pain ror long-term gain: small sacrifices or inconvenie nces now will resu lt
in the achievement of greater long tem1 objectives.
The advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Money spent is money and/or time saved in the long nm.
Investment of time or money wi ll hri ng other benefits.
Deal \vith serious objections early. However, don't let trivial objections sidetrack you or
b>ive these objections a false importance hy spending time on them at the expense of your
own arb>uments.
PERSUASIVE APPEALS
Persuasive messages appeal to the reader's reasoning, emotions, or sense of what is right
and credible. The success of your comm unication depends on the strength of the case you
build. llecause not all audiences or persuasive tasks are alike, messages that must convince
can rely on single or combined ap peals.
Appeal to Reason: People in business must he able to justify the decisions they
make. Therefore, they usually respond best to logical presentations of evidence- non-
numerical facts, expert opinions, statistics, examples, and analogies. Effective reason-
ing based on evidence in one or more o r these forms leads the reader to a conclusion
and to accept that the writer is right and knowledgeable. For a reader to accept a
claim or opinion as reasonahle, the persuasion that supports it must show dear,
logical development, with facts adding up like numbers in an equation . A cai1se-
effect, problem- solution , or chronological pattern can help an appeal make more
sense. ln addition to proving your point, you should also answer questions the reader
is like ly to raise and elim inate errors in logic, flaws that can roh your appeal o f its per
suasive power. Among the most common logical fallacies are po.it lwc ergo propter hoc
(m istaking coincidence for cause), circular arguments (restating an opinion instead
of hacking it up). begging the question (sidetracking the reader from an important
issue), and raise analogy (making a comparison that doesn't apply).
Appt:al to Emotion: Emotions are powerful pe rsuasive tool~. When facts alone fail
to convince, an emotional appeal can motivate people to act and respond. A play on
emotions can create a desire to act on a request. The reader not only sees the lob>ic of
 8 I PERSUASIVE MESSAGES D
doing something but also actually wants to do it. lt is worth remembering, however,
that tapping into emotions such as pride, hope, ho11 our, pkasure, respect, and fear
can he risky and seem manipulative to a reader who is not entirely on your side. For
this reason, emotional appeals have only the most limited application to business
messages and work only when they rest on a strong logical foundation . Emotional
power comes from lanb'liage, such as the use of words that evoke certain responses--
deserve, special, safe, new, free. St.ones, concrete examples, and descriptions hased on
sense im pressions (what the reader can see, feel, hear, taste, and smell) can all help
you to pe rsuade with emotion. The following are two examples of appeals to emotion:
1. A memo that asks for safer working conditions may play on a sense of respon
sibility and pride in a companys reputation (Our company has always maintained a
level of safety ablJve industry standard:;).
2. The final letter in a series of collection letters or payment-past-due notices may
arouse rear at the consequences of not paying immediately (If we d" not rr.ccive
payment immediately, we will be f"rced t" tum your account lJYer to an attorney for
collection. Such action will damage your previously good credit rating).
Appeal to Ethics. H you want to influence people, it is import.ant to est.ahlish your
credihility beforehand or to create it during a message. Credihility has to do with the
image you cultivate. lt refers to how helievahle, responsihle, and ethical you, your
com pany, and your statt'1nents are perceived to he. Personal credihility is hased on
your knowledge, reputation, position of authority, and familiarity with your reader.
Credibility has several sources:
1. Specialized knowledge. Demonstrating your expertise earns your readers confi
dence, especially when the reader doesn't already know you. Readers will evalu-
ate you and your message on t.he strength of your evidence and the logic of its

A company's ability to build

and malntal n credibility Is
particularly Important when It
deals with customers' personal
Information. In 2011and2012,
American Express ranked first
In the Ponemon lnstltute's
Most Trusted Companies for
Privacy Study, which surveys
the public's opinions on
companies that gather and
manage such data (www.
ponemon.orgl).
Source: Cl Roussel Bornord/Alamy
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

presentation. You can compensate for a lack o r expertise by ci.ting expert opin
ions or the views of someone t.he reader trusts.
2. Reputation. The better your reputation- how you are thought of according to
your character and past conduct- the more likely readers are to trust you.
3 . Authority. The built-in authority that comes with your business 1.itle can give
you added leverage and command respect as long as it isn't perceived as bullying
or coe rcion. lt is fine to project your authority but not to abuse it.
4 . Familiarity. Relationships build trust, hut if you don't know the reade1: you can
still forge a connection !by finding common ground- for example, by identifying
a mutual interest, shared problem, or com mon goal.

Finally, if you walll people to trust you, avoid image-damaging sarcasm and hostility.
Your credibility can be rurther enhanced when you focus on reader benefits, not on what
you have to gain personally.

INDIRECT WRITING PLAN FOR PERSUASIVE MESSAGES

The purpose of an indirect persuasive strategy is to break down resistance and prepare
readers for a request or proposal that could easily fail if made directly. A gradual, deliber-
ate approach allows you to first earn trust and reason with readers, making it easier for
them to understand how they will benefit rrom what you ask them to do at the eiid of the
message. An indirect message may take more time to write, hut followi ng this th ree-step
plan is worth the effort if you need to overcome resistance and indifference:

1. Obtain interest. ln a sho rt paragraph, make a good first impression and provide
incentive ror t.he reader t.o pay attention to the rest of your message: define a problem,
identify common ground, cite reader benefits, ask a pertinent question, o r state a
related fact that stimulates interest. Use an attention-getting technique that is relevant
to your audience and purpose.
2. Prove your proposal or product can benefit the reader. Capitalize on the interest
you have generated by explaining how what. you propose o r sell meets a. particu-
lar need. Benefits may he direct, comi ng automatically from doing someth.ing (e.g.,
receiving an income tax deduction as a result of making a charitable donation) or
indirect (e.g., the satisfaction of knowing tliat your donation will help someone else).
Give readers the information they need to act on your request and deal with any
objections they might have.
3. Ask for action and link it to reader benefits .
Even a request that makes a positive im pres
sion doesn't succeed unless readers act on it.
An effective persuasive appeal ends wi.th a
Paul Jones, CEO of Magneto specific and confident request linked to incen
Communications, discusses the tives that motivate readers to act immediately
techniques of persuasive writing in this and decisively, sometimes by a set deadline
video: http://goo.gi/95ynaD. chosen for a particular reason.

This basic pattern is multi-purpose and can be

modified to delive r a variety of persuasive messages.
 8 I PERSUAS I VE ME SSA GES

Types of Persuasive Messages

FAVOUR AND ACTION REQUESTS
Small favours are easy to ask for. However, when you make i,rreate r demands on readers
by asking them to donate money or volunteer their time and expe rtise- with t.he promise
o r lit.tie or nothing in return- you can expect resistance, so persuasive strategies are vital.
An ind irect strategy allows you to gain acceptance for invitations, requests for voluntee r
services, and appeals for any kind of unpaid help. The direct benefits o r performing such
favours are usually small and sometimes non-existent. An explanation focusing on the
indirect b enefits of complying (see the second point below) reassures readers that they are
d oing the right thing.

1. Gain favourable attention. Because you need to entice the reader to comply, don't begin
hy phrasing your request as a question tbat can he answered with a yes or no . Instead
catch readers' attention with a genuine compliment or a fact that awakens their social
conscience. Don't encourage readers to decline your request by providing them with a
convenient exLuse or making an apology. You need to make a positive first impression.
2. Persuade the reader to accept. Readers won't feel obliged to help you unless they
know background details o r the request and understand what they have to gain . Help
read ers view the request positively by assol'iating it \vith one o r the following:
the chance to assume a leadership role or showcase talents
the chance to network , develop professional comacts, o r gain exposure for their
views
the chance to help others or bring about positive change in their workplace or
community
Specify exactly what tbe favour involves hy referri ng to dates, times, and locations.

FI GU RE 8 .2

Ineffective Favour Request

Please consider supporting the Children's Aid Foundation by purchasing a ...., (ext ract)
$250 family package for our"Be a Kid Agaln"fundralslng event, which will be Begins with a direct and
held at Canada's Wonderland on Saturday, August 30, 2014. expensive re-quest

We guarantee that this money will be put to good use. The amount we raised Falls to build Interest In the
event and doesn't provide
last year certainly was.
readers wlth details of how the
money raised wlll be spent and
If you have any questions about this event, you should phone me at who wlll benefit
519-331-8693. Remember to buy yourtlckets- the kids are counting on you.
Offers no details about the
Don't make them suffer. \
fundralslng event and doesn't
mention direct and Indirect
Hoping you'll get back to me, benefits (e.g., the chance to
have fun and help others)
Fiona Walsh

Regional Councillor \ Bullies maders Into buying

tickets and doesn't mention
how the tickets can be ordered
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
FI GU RE 8 .3
Effective Favour Request
Be!glns by praising readers for
their social responsl blllty and
generosity
Explains why fundralslng Is
necessary and who will benefit
from the money raised
Offors details of the event-
time, date, location, cost
Appeals to reason and emotlons_ -t-
and highlights direct and
Indirect benefits: participants
will have fun and help others
3. Ask for action. Express your request with co nfi dence and courtesy to encour-
age acceptance. Provide the information (telephone numhers, cont.act names) the
reader will need to follow u p. Encl with a reminder that you are looking forward to
a response.
Town of Finsbury
164-A Blossom Petal Way, Finsbury, ON MSW 2X6
June 12, 2014
Dr. Elizabeth Rhynold
Finsbury Medical Centre
45 Main Street South
Finsbury, ON MSW 2X6
Dear Dr. Rhynold:
- Last year our"Be a Kid Again" event In support ofthe Children's Aid Foundation
of Lancaster Region raised over $20,000 for organizations serving children and
youth In our community. Your support made a difference In the lives of children
at risk, providing much-needled funds for sports equipment, music lessons, dental
work, and summer camp programs.
- . The Children's Aid Foundation receives government funding for services that
are directly related to protect ing children throughout Lancaster Region from
abuse, neglect, and abandonment. However, the CAF Is not able to provide
discretionary services within Its budget. These are programs and services that'
are designed to offer children positive life experiences that they would not likely
otherwise have.
- . Our second annual fund raising event Is being held this year at Canada's
Wonderland on Saturday, August 30, 2014, from 4:00 to 10:00 p.m. The day
promises a chance to "be a kid again" with fun-fllled activities and surprises,
Including a deluxe theme-pairk dinner, admission to all rides and attractions, a
souvenir package, special entertainment for children, and a lucky draw. The
price for a four-ticket family package Is $250. When you purchase this package
you will receive a tax receipt for $210.
Please help this very worthy cause by purchasing tickets for yourself and your
employees. Simply complete and return the enclosed ticket order form along
with your cheque, payable to The Children's Aid Foundation, marked to my
attention at Town of Finsbury. Due to the popularity of this event, we recommend
that you place your order by Friday, August 15 to avoid disappointment. For more
details, please call me at 519-331 -8693.
 8 I PER SUASIVE ME SSA GES

FIGURE 8 .3

Dr. Elizabeth Rhynold (continued)

June 12, 2014
Page 2

If you would like to support this event but are unable to attend, we will be
pleased to donate your tickets to a foster family from Lancaster Region Children's
Aid Foundation- and you will still receive a tax receipt.
Ends by summarizing the
Join us on August 30 and be a kid again. The kids In our community will be glad ,. - - request and linking It to benefits
you did.

SIMerely,

Fiona Walsh
Regional Councillor

Enc.

PERSUASIVE MEMOS
How can you successfully lohhy for safer working conditions, persuad e staff to accept
a new complller system, or justify the expense of a new probrram? A persuasive memo
describes a prohlem to management or colleab'lles, then presents a solution tbat ends in
a related proposal or request. Its indirect problem-solution strategy gains attention and
gradual support for an action required of em ployees or an idea that needs approval prior
to impl em entation. Because a persuasive mem o comm unicates facts and benefits hefore
it pushes for action, there is less chance the initiative it endorses will he misunderstood
o r rejected prematurely By hullding an honest and logical argume nt hased on fact, not
conjecture or false clai ms, an effective persuasive memo overcomes resistance and con-
vinces readers that a plan will work or that altered procedures are necessary The memo
ultimately succeeds when it puts words and ideas into action and wi ns support for a well-
defi ned prohlem. Here are the steps to follow when wri ting a prohlem-solving memo that
gives Limited chance for read ers to say no:

1. Sum marize the problem. Identify the cause or source of a problem while suggesting
that the problem is solvable. Keep readers interested hy avoiding accusations and
strongly negative lanb'l.1age. To stimulate interest, bebri n \vit h a subject line that focuses
on positive results and benefits.
2. Expbin how the problem can be solved. If a prohlem is relevant to them, readers
wi ll want r.o read on. Establish a logical found ation for your later request, citing sr.atis-
tical evidence, facts, and figures while also outlini ng henefits.
 COMM U N I C ATI N G FOR RESU LTS

FIGURE 8 .4

Ineffective Persuasive
Memo (extract)

-~ Subject: Switching to Satellite Training

Vague subject line falls to
highlight beMflts or focus on
./
positive results
Lately, training costs have gone out of control. The real problem Is covering
the travel expenses of employees and trainers, who must travel between local
Pushes for action before It fully
communicates the reasons for ~ branches and national headquarters. For this reason, I strongly urge you to
that action; offers no statistical meet with representatives from Finance Vision, operator of an Interactive
evidence to back up explanation television network, and see their demonstration on satellite training. The cost
of the problem
for a half-day training session Isj ust $10,000. I hope you will agree with me that
this Is the best possible solution .

Aggressive dosing .- Please get back to me as soon as possible. We will need to Ilase with Finance
Vi sion soon If we hope to use this technology for our RRSP training season.

3. Minim ize resistan ce. Anticipate ohjections readers might have (too expensive, too
ti me-consumi ng, or a threat to someone's authority, professional status, or t he status
quo). Because you may have to acknowled ge an alternative solution the reader may
prefer, you should he prepared to offer convi ncing counter-arguments that sh ow how
your solution is su perior to all others.
4. Ask for a s pecific action. Be firm hut polite. Set a deadline for readers to act o r
respond as long as it won't seem aggressive and offer incentives (time or money saved)
if you n:guire act.ion promptly.

CLAIM REQUESTS
Straightforward, well-justified clai ms can he made directly. However, if a warranty has
lapsed, if a tem1 o r a contract has heen contravened, or Ha product is no longer und er b'llar-
antee, a claim may be j udged guestionable-and fail- unless pe rsuasive strategies are used .
This means you must first prove the legitimacy o r your claim wi th a clear line of reasoning
before you can ask for an adjustment. A weak or guestionahle claim can usually be strength
ened with expressions of confidence in a company's integii ty and fai rness and appeal~ to iL~
pride in its products and reputation, if only because successful husinesses want c ustomers
to he satisfied . As with other types of claims, it is important to adopt a moderate tone (i.e.,
to make a complaint without sounding like a complainer). Your challenge is to show that
the com pany o r receiver is responsihle ror the problem, not you. However, if you succumb
to anger or irrational threats and accusations, especially ahout a company's honesty, you
lose respect and ri.~k antagonizing the person handling your claim. The person in guestion
is likely not al fault for your prohlern but a claims adjuster or customer service rq 1resenta
tive with no prior 1.n owledge of the complaint or dif6culty, someone whose job it is to help
 8 I PERSUAS I VE MESSAGES

FIGURE 8 . 5

Bothwell and Associates, Inc. Effective Persuasive Memo

Interoffice Memo

TO: Malcolm Reynolds, Human Resources Manager

FROM: River Simons, Training Coordinator

DATE: Aprll 17, 2014

SUBJECT: Reducing Training Program Costs - - - Subject line focuses on positive

results and benefits

Last year, the cost to send trainers on the road and to bring employees from
across the country to training events at our national headquarters exceeded ~ Opening gains attention
by describing problem and
S1.2 million. Mounting travel costs accounted for the dramatic Increase In training quantifying It with statlstlcal
expenses. According to projections, by 2015 It will co:st over $2.5 million to evidence
maintain training programs at current levels.

With advances In satellite delivery methods, however, It Is now possible to

conduct nationwide training more cost-effectively In virtual classrooms
equipped with satellite dishes, televlslon sets, and Interactive handsets. Satellite
presentations have several distinct advantages over conventional methods:
Explains how the problem can
1. Everyone receives the same Information at the same time from keynote ~ be solved and lists advantages
for greater emphasis
speakers and slide and video presentations.

2. Employees can interact with each other and share Ideas just as they
would If they were sitting side by side. They can ask questions, take
multiple-choice tests by keying responses Into Interactive handsets,
and be polled by the presenter.

3. Nationwide training programs that normally take months can be

conducted In a matter of days.
Minimizes resistance by
- - - acknowledging counter
While computer-based training is an option, test groups often complain that arguments and potential
this delivery method Isn't engaging enough. Satellite training can be expensive, drawbacks
with the cost of In-house set-ups averaging $10,000 to $15,000 per site. However,
by outsourcing the service to an Interactive television network such as Finance
Vi sion, It Is possible to offer a half-day seminar to an unlimited number of sites at
approximately the same price. Finance Vision operates from forty hotels across
Canada, all fu lly equipped and staffed by technicians.
_ _,__ Politely asks for action and
Please allow me to arrange for a demonstration from Finance Vision so that we
connects action to benefits
can !learn more about how a satellite training program can help us reduce our
tral111lng costs.
 8 I PERSUAS I VE ME SSA GES

you. If you present yourself as fair and easy to deal with and show your disappointment
without expressing anger, you will he taken serioi1sly and your claim will sta11d a better
chance of being granted promptly. Here are some steps to follow:

1. Gain positive attention. Establish rapport or common brround with the reader hy
beginning with a compliment, a point o f shared interest, a review of action taken
to solve the problem, or your original reason (if favourable) for buyi ng the product
or service.
2. Prove your claim is valid. Describe the problem in a calm and credible way. Give a
ch ronolob'Y to explain what happened and what you have done to resolve the prob-
lem. Provide supporting data t.o help the reader assess the situation: order numbers,
delivery dates, method of shipment, servicing locations, descriptions of the items in
quest.ion. Go with your strongest reasons t.o prove your claim is worthwhil e. Your
line o f reasoning should lead the reader to conclude that responsibility rests with his
or her company, not with you. Take steps to defend yourself against possible hlame
(I carefully revkwed the owners manual before l attempted to install the new unit). lt is a
good idea to attach supporti ng documents (sales receipts, invoices, shipping orders)
that will help the reade r investigate your claim.
3. Ask for a specific action. State how the claim can he resolved and what you expect
the company to do (make a refund, offer a replacement, or apologize). End positively,
expressi ng confldence in the company's ethical standards and willinb>ness to uphold
its reputation.

FI GU RE 8 -7

Ineffective Persuasive
Dear Manager, Claim (extract)

The !health club Industry has a poor track record when It comes to responding ~- Begins negatively and offers the
reader a reason for not granting
to membership complaints. Now I hope you will prove this perception wrong the adjustment
by allowlng me to cancel my membership even though the 10-day cooling-off
period has now elapsed. Doesn't specify the type of
membership, Indicate when It
When I took out a membership, I thought It would guarantee me full access to ~ was taken out, or refer to the
every class and faclllty. As it turned out, all the classes I went to were full and I was terms of the contract
turned away even though I had signed up In advance:. I think this Is a poor way to
treat paying members, don't you? Doesn't provide a chronology,
supporting data, or a strong
If you don't do something about this situation, I will nave no alternative but to -
reason for granting the
contact the Canadian Council of Better Business Bureaus, the Ontario Ministry of adjustment
Consumer Services, and my lawyer. Then we'll see what happens.
Ends angrily without asking
Angrily, for a refund

F'v-0'-V!ae,sao.. Auo/0-
 COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS
FIGURE 8 .8
Effective Persuasive Claim
Personal business style letter
Begins with a comp llment;
expresses disappointment at
the circumstances leading
to theclalm
Includes a chronolo.gy and clear
reasons In support of the claim
Provides supporting data and
asks for a speclflc action
Ends pleasantly by appealing
to the company's pride In
Its reputat1on and expresses
confldence that an adjustment
wlllbemade
71 OTecumseh Street
Windsor, ON N915Z4
January 17, 2014
- .,. Mr. Brian Edwards, Customer Service
Gym Masters Fitness
1285 Riverside Drive
Windsor, ON N9B 2R3
Subject: Premium Membership
No. 0045681 1
Dear Mr. Edwards:
I joined Gym Masters on the recommendation of business colleagues who
have long enjoyed your state-of-the-art facil ity and expertly conducted fitness
programs. When I toured Gym Masters before taking out a membership, I was
Impressed by your friendly, knowledgeable staff and well-maintained equipment.
Naturally, I had been looking forward to being a member and I was disappointed
when I discovered that my premium membership did not entitle me to full access
to club facllltles.
.,. On January 8, I signed up for a $1,499 one-year premium membership that
guaranteed me front-of-the-line priority placement In all classes. A copy of the
contract Is enclosed. When I showed up on January 9 to attend a Pllates class for
which I had registered, I was turned away after being told the class was full. For
the next week, I arrived each day for my Gym Master class only to be Informed
there was no room. Had I known that I would be denied entry to these classes,
I would have selected a more affordable membership level.
_ _,__.__ In Ontario, consumers are allowed a 10-day cooling-off period, during which
new members are free to back out of health-club contracts. Although this time
has now elapsed, I am making my request for a full refund of my membership and
Initiation fees well within the 30-day money-back guarantee period that was
written Into the contract I signed.
-- I originally joined Gym Masters because of Its reputation for quality facilities
and reputable membership services. I am confident you will honour the terms of
my contract and grant me a full refund. I look forward to hearing from you In the
next two weeks.
Sincerely,
Enc.
 8 I PERSUAS I VE ME SSA GES

COLLECTION LETIERS
The purpose o r a collection letter is Lo collect an overdue bill (a mont.h or more past due) collection l~tters a sertes
while preserving th e customer relationship. Collection letters, usually written in a ser of Increasingly persuasive
appeals to a customer asking for
ies o f three to five letters, put poli te yet persistent pressure on readers, persuading them
payment for goods and servtces
to promptly pay debts owing for goods already received or services already rendered. already received.
Usually. r.he longer a hill remains unpaid, the more demanding and urgent the collection
letters become. Th e forcefulness of a collect.ion demand also depends on the relationsh ip
between the creditor and the debtor. When a customer usually pays on time, the chances
of collecting on a curren t hill are good, making courtesy all-import.ant Lo preserving a
friendly c ustomer relationship. For customers with records of unreliable payment or non-
payment, though, it may he necessary to adopt a fim1er approach, reinforced hy a no-n on-
sense tome that is direct but still polite. Adapting your messages to the type of debtor you

FIGURE 8 .9

Portfolio Electronics Sample Collection

Reminder l ette r
520 Wellington Street www.portfollo.com
London, ON N6A 1J7 1-800-667-8384

February 4, 2014

Mr. Wesley Denlsof

12 Adelaide Street East
London, ON N4S 7R9

Dear Mr. Denlsof:

Opens politely, reminding
_.,....-_.....J--- customer of good credit record
You have been sending your monthly Instalments to llS promptly for over
a year. However, we find that your payment of $3,558.77 for December has Mentions problem; uses neutral
not yet arrived. Please send us a cheque In this amount now to avoid the language
buildup of Interest charges and ensure uninterrupted service In the months Makes a polite request for
ahead. If you have already paid, please accept out thanks and disregard payment In terms of benefits
this notice. of paying on time

We value your business very much and look forward to serving you again
... __ Closes with oppreclatlon
for business
soon.

SIMerely,

Alexander Foster
Accounts Payable
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

are dealing wi th can hel p you recover the money owed to your company faster- without
risking future hi1siness.
Collection letters generally follow three stages:

1. Reminder: First messages work on the assumption that the customer intends to pay
reminder letter a collection hut has simply forgotten and fallen hehind. Th is stage calls for a friendly reminder
letter that Informs acustomer In letter that mentions the customer~ good credit record (if there is one), alerts I.he
a friendly way that a payment has
customer to the problem, and asks for a response. In place of a personalized letter, it
not been received and emphasizes
the customor's prior good is also possible to use a Conn lette r or to send a copy of the o riginal invoice, stam ped
credit rating. "Second Notice" or "Past Due."

FIGURE 8.10

Sample Collection Inquiry Portfolio Electronics

Letter
520 Welllngton Street www.portfollo.com
London, ON N6A 1J7 1-800-667-8384

May6,2014

Mr. Wesley Denlsof

12 AdelaIde Street East
London, ON N4S 7R9

Opening summarizes facts Dear Mr. Denlsof:

of overdue account and
expresses concern over non- ,.. Our records Indicate that yoU1r account Is now three months overdue. We are very
payment; mentions previous
concerned that we have not !heard from you even though we have already sent
correspondence
you two reminder notices.
Makes direct request
for payment and reminds ___ __, _. We are requesting that you pay your balance of $3,558.77 Immediately so that you
customer of benefits of can preserve your excellent credit record with us and avoid further accumulation
Immediate compliance
of Interest charges. Because you are one of our best customers and have always
/
Shows sympathy and fairness / paid your account promptly In the past, we are sure you will want to retain your
and appeals to customer's good reputation by paying your blll now.
self Interest

Makes It easy for the customer _..-- ...,.. Please use the enclosed envelope to send your cheque today. If a problem Is
Lo respond preventing you from making this payment, please call 1-800-667-8384, toll-free,
,_.,.. to discuss your account or details of a mutually satisfactory payment plan.
Closes posltlvely by expressing / " '
confidence In a solution
Sincerely,

Alexander Foster
Accounts Payable
 8 I PE RSUA SI V E ME SSA GES

2. Inquiry: Messages at this stage are Amier and more di rect, hut they work on the
assumption that the customer has a legi timate reason fo r not paying- a cash-flow
problem, out-of-town ahsence, or similar circumstance. The inquiry letter summar- Inquiry letter a collection letter
izes the situation, expresses concern over non-payment, and asks ror an explanation that attempts to dNcrmlnc the
circumstances that arc preventing
or im mediate payment. This request is reinforced by positive appeals to one or more payment and asks for payment.
of the rollowing:
Fairn ess-emphasize the customer's fairness in completing a transaction by pay-
ing for goods and services already received.
Reputation- emphasize the benefits of deht payment to a company's good name.

FIGURE 8.11

Portfolio Electronics Sample Collection

Demand Letter
520 Wellington Street www.portfollo.com
London, ON N6A 1J7 1-800-667-8384

June 10, 2014

Mr. Wesley Denlsof

12 AdelaIde Street East
London, ON N4S 7R9

Dear Mr. Denlsof:

Opening makes unequivocal
This Is the fourth time we have called your attention to your long-overdu e ... - demand for Immediate payment
accoun t. So far, we have received neither your payment nor the courtesy of an
explanation. Because we value your business, you have already received a
generous extension In time, but we cannot permit a further delay In payment.
Now we are counting on you to meet your obllgatlor1.
Delivers an ultimatum, clearly
stating the consequences of
Unless you pay your balance of $3,558.77 by June 30, we will be forced to turn ... -
nonpayment, and sets deadline
your account over to a collection agency, resulting In certain damage to your for compliance with request
previously good credit rating.

We would prefer to mark your accoun t paid than to take this unpleasant - - -+-- Tone In closing Is polite yet firm
action, so please send your cheque today.

SIM erely,

Alexander Foster
Accounts Payable
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
demand letter a col l~tlon lcncr
that makes a Orm and unequivocal
request for Immediate payrMnt
and anempts to convlrn:e the
debtor to pay the bill within
a stated time by raising the
posslblllty of legal action.
sales letter a letter that promotes
a product, scNlce, or business and
seeks prospective customers or
additional sales.
Sympathy-express concern while reminding the customer that prompt payment
is crucial to your operations.
Self-interest- show that prompt payment removes risks to credi t rati ngs and
keeps interest charges low.
If the customer is unahle to pay the whole bill immediately, you have the option of
offering to negotiate an instalment payment plan. Make it easy ror the customer to respond
hy includi ng your toll-free phone o r fax number, a postage-paid envelope, o r web address
for convenient credit card payment.
3. Demand: The last letters in a collection se ri es are unequivocal demands for immedi-
ate payment. The demand Jetter usually takes the form of an ultimatum , urgently
asking for payment and warning of the penalties for non-payment (including legal
action, garnishment o r wages, or referral o r the account to a collect.ion agency). If you
expect strong resistance, rder to previous collection notices that have been ignored or
overlooked. Th is will show h ow reasonable you have been and wi ll strengtl1en your
case should you eventually launch legal proceedi ngs. Although your tone should still
he courteous, it should also express reluctance at having to take action hut dete rmina-
tion to do so if the customer doesn't pay. Im pose a time limit for payment, usually
10 days, and he explicit about the follow-up action you intend to take.
Pre-authorized payment and the practice of phoning customers to notify them of
overdue accounts have lessened the need for this type of communication.
Sales Messages
Successful sales people are usually effective communicators:
They know that sales messages help huild a husiness hy advertising a product or ser-
vice directly to individual customers or husiness accounts.
They rely on market research and use it to adapt their sales messages to the needs,
preferences, and demographi.cs o r targeted groups. They use mailing lists based Oll mis
research to ensure that sales messages reach the people most likely to he interested
in particular products and services. This practice is known as direct-mail marketing.
Direct-mail sales messages are reader-adapted, making them different [TOm other types
of promotion , such as hrochmes and catalogues, that are part of a direct-mail package.
They realize I.hat most sales messages are unsolicited and frequently ignored, so they
avoid hard-sell pitches, empty hype, and deceptive product clai ms that tum readers
off. lnst.ead, they minimize risk for buyers hy providing product information, indicat-
ing how buyers will henel'lt, and building confidence in the prod uct\; value and per-
formance. Only at t.he end do they push for a sale.
They use appropriate persuasive appeals and incentives to create desire ror products
and services. The aim is to translate that interest into sales and an ongoing relation-
ship of trust with customers.
Among the types o r persuasive messages, sales letters are unique. They tend to he
longer than the average husines.s letter hecause they are rich in details orchestrated to
make readers want the product. Sales letters can he composed one by one or as fom1 let-
ters, sent out in mailings of hund reds or even thousands. ln large organizations, specialisL~
oversee market research and promotional writing. Jn smaller organizations, these areas are
handled hy indi vidual employees or are outsourced .
 8 I PERS UA SI VE ME SSA GES

Even if your joh doesn't involve sales and promotions, sales writing has hroad appli-
cations. Knowing how t.o do it well can help you sell not just your company's products,
mission, and values hut also your own ideas and skills so you are hetter ahle to get the joh
you want., keep it, and huild a reputation for your company. As you will see in Chapter 9,
job application letters are closely related to sales letters.

AIMING TO MAKE A SALE: ANALYZING THE

PRODUCT AND AUDIENCE
An effective sales message delivers specific facts t.o a specific audience. Careful planning L~
essential, so start with the following preliminary steps:

1. Study the product or service. One of your tasks will he to educate consumers about
the prodi1ct and to identify the problem the prod uct helps to solve. To do this, you
should be knowledgeable about its design, construction, composite materials, manu-
factmi ng process, and operation. Note the product's ease of use, perfom1ance, dur-
ahility, efficiency, warranty, availability of colours an.cl fi nishes, and arrangements for
servicing. Analyze its special features, especially its central selling point- the th ing
that gives your product an edge over the competi tion- and compare its price with
that of other products in its class.
2. learn as much as possible about the target audieu ce. Your message stands a better
chance of being read and generating sales if it is adapted to a specific audience. Rely
on market research to draw up a profile of intended readers hased on thei r age, sex,
ed ucation, income, lifestyle, and place of residence. Understanding potential huyers'
needs will help you predict the desirability of your product.
3. Ai m for an ethical sales pitch. There are severe penalties for false advertising. When
descrihi ng your product\; performance and capahilities, make sure you stick to the
facts and use objective, concrete language.
4. Consider other factors. The timing, visu al appeal (document design), personaliza-
tion, and tone of sales messages also in nuence readers. Delivering your message at the
Tight time, when interest is likely high, betters the odds of making sales. The same
is true of messages that are visually appealing, so consider making strategic use of
captions, headings, images, and typography. especially to emphasize a central selling
feature . A personalized letter, instead of one ad dressed "Dear Occupant" or "Attention
Householder," looks less like unwanted, mass-prod uced junk mail. Further, pe rsonal-
ization can he achieved with a tone that conveys wam1th and respect \vithout sound-
ing too chummy or informal.

WRITING PLAN FOR SALES LETTERS

A typical sales letter involves a four-step writing process:

1. Gai n. att.en ti on.

2. Introduce the product.

3. Make the product desirahle.

4. Ask for action and make responding sim ple.

COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

Step 1: Gain Attention

A strong, concise opening captures attention before the reade r has a chance to lose int.er-
esl. This is especially import.ant w hen your sales message is unsolicited or uninvited. No
matt.er what attent.ion-gett.ing device you use, it should not he just a gimm ick hut an hon-
est and relevant lead-in. Choose from the following devices:

a thought-provoking fact or statement

Over 20,000 vehicles are stolen every year in this city.

good news that makes the r eader feel important or unique

You're pre-approved for the Ultra Platinum Card. This exciting credit card is yours to
help you achieve the best in life.

a special offer or bargain

The cheque below is yours to cash toward your Ultra Card Registry service! It's a special
way to introduce you to the protection and peace of mind that Ultra has provided to
Canadians for over twenty years.

a product feature that makes a difference to the reader

Ultra is the first platinum card that allows you up to 15 days of out-of-province travel
medical insurance- abso lutely freel

a quest.ion
Have you ever wondered if you paid too much for an all-inclusive resort vacation?

a story
I am pleased to write to you today to tell you an alumni success story about Janet and
Steve, who may not be very different from you. They work hard and invest their money
wisely to build a bright future for their family. Although they know they can't predict
the future, they have protected it by investing in the Alumni Term Life Insurance Plan.
With low rates for alumni, they protect themselves, their family, and everything they
have worked so hard for.

For extra emphasis, some of these devices can be holded o r underlined, in whole o r in
part, o r incorporated as captions and headli nes. Weak openings tum readers off, so avoid
obvious statements, questions with obvious answe rs, and stories that take too long to get
to the point.

Step 2: Introduce the Product

Once you have gained attention, the next step is to forge a link between the need you have
identified and how the product you are selling meets that need. The following example
ties a product to the sample story given above:
You too can take advantage of the Alumni Term Life Insurance Plan and provide the people
you love with the same security that Janet and Steve did for their family.

Step 3: Make the Product Desirable

Your challenge is to make readers want the product and understand the need it meets.
They, i.n tum, want to feel confident that a purchase will Live up to its promises an d their
 8 I PERS U AS I VE MESSAGES

expectations. Satisfy hoth goals hy providing a carefully worded product description that
combines concrete details with assurances of customer satisfaction.
Describe 1.he product from the readers point of view. lnstead of listing flat details, sug-
gest what it is like to use and benefit from the product. Rat.her than saying our vacuum has
a 6-metre cord, interpret details so they are meaningful to readers:
The Power Vac's 6-metre cord allows you to vacuum even the largest rooms from a
single outlet.

lf necessary, halance and dispel possible doubts with clea.r reminders of product benefits:
If you ever worried that a home security system might mean a loss of privacy, we want to
reassure you that our monitoring system is activated only when the alarm is triggered.

Buil d product conlldence hy i1sing hype-free lani:,ruage and risk-reducing induce-

ments such as a warranty, money-hack guarantee, special offer, free trial, or sample. Rely
on statistics and testimonials--even stories ahout how the product was developed- to
cmmter i:esistance and provide assurances of satisfaction.
Because price can make or break a sale, emphasize tl1e price by mentioning it early if
the product is affordable or a bargain. Otherwise, omit it or de-emphasize it in one of the
follo\ving ways:

Mention it only aft.er you have created a desire for the product.
Break the price down into smaller units (monthly instalment payments, cost per day
or issue).
Make the product a bargain by calculating the cost after discount or rebate.
Show savings over a competitors product or, for su bscriptions, over the per-unit pur-
chas.e price.
link the price with benefits.

The following example combines several of these approaches:

When you calculate what you could save with benefits such as Out-of-Province Travel
Medical Insurance and Auto Rental Collision Insurance, you'll be pleasantly surprised that
the fee for the Ultra Platinum Card is only $79 a year (with a current annual interest rate of
17.5%), which is actually less than $7 a month.

Step 4: Ask for a Sim pie Action

Aft.er you have created a desire for the product, tell readeTs how easy it is for them to pur-
chase it and urge them to take action without
delay. Use a positive emphasis combined with
the imperative voice to discourage readers
from procrastinating. Make r.he action simple
hy providing a toll-free order number, giving Read Sean D'Souza's 'The Sales Boosting
a website or e-mail address, or enclosing an Logic of the P.S." for more information
order fom1 or post.age-paid envelope. on the post scri pt 's role in a sales letter:
http://goo.gl/XrzjyS.
Say yes to your Pre-Approved Acceptance
Certificate todayl Simply complete and
mail it to us in the postage-paid envelope
provided or fax it to 1-877-553-0123.
 COMMUNI C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

En courage the reader to act prom p tly wi th perks and incentives such as a time-
lirni ted offor, special o ffer, honus, or rebate. If you cannot o ffer incen tives, remind readers
that the less they delay th e soon er they will henefit from the product (As quantities are
limited, act now to avoid dL~appointment. Purchase your Zodiac watercraft today and e'njoy it all
summer long).

Postscripts
Postscrip t lines are more comm on in sales letters than in any other type of message.
Postscripts are h igh-impact senten ces, attracting attention as soon as the letter is opened.
They are use ful for spotlighting free o ffers, for summarizing th e central selling poLnt, or for
making a final ap peal to readers, u rging them to act promptly.

P.S. Accept your Ultra Platinum Card today, so you can start enjoying its benefits right awayl

P.S. Remember to cash your cheque toward your Ultra Card Registry Service before the
expiry date. You don't want to regret passing up card protection if your debit or credit cards
are ever lost or stolenl

Sales Follow-Up
Although not specifically a persu asive message, a sales follow-u p confirms to customers
the fact that they have made the right decision by purchasing a p roduct. Its expressions
o f appreciation for an ord er rein force goodwill and promote future business. A follow-up
may also confirm details of a sale or offer further services.

FI GU RE 8 . 1 2

Ineffective Sales Message

(extract)
Dear Computer Owner,

Opening suggests the product If you think the computer system you're using now Is good, you should see
already owned Is satisfactory, - --. the desktop PCs and notebooks from Micro-Genius. We think you should check
making a replacement out our new ASO and R40 series. We think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
unnecessary
Our computers are fast, powerful, and affordable. Our customers say that
Does not specify how fast,
powerful, and affordable the
overall they are quite satisfied with their performance. Now, for a limited time,
product Is. Muted language you can get an additional gigabyte of memory and no-charge shipping when you
('quite satisfied") fall s to create purchase any system Included In our special promotion.
desire for the product
We have some real beauties In stock right now. If you think Micro-Genius
Closing action Is conditional
might have a computer for you, give us a call. Micro-Genius computers aren't
and doesn't provide enough - --.
Information for easy follow up just good, they're very good.
 8 I PERSUAS I VE MESSAGES

FIGURE 8.13

Micro-Genius Network Solutions Effective Sales Message

42 King Street West Toronto, ON P9V 2R6 416-m-2569 www.microgenius.ca

January 29, 2014

Mr. Jaywar Fisher
Delawl & Mehta Realtors
28 Cardinal Court Gains attention with a question
Vancouver, BC V7N 2T7 / and limited time and special
offers
~rMtFl~~ /
How would you like to get more for less? Until March 31, an additional gigabyte of memory and no- Product description links
charge shipping are yours when you purchase any Micro-Genius Desktop PC or Notebook computer. need and ~neflts to product
Micro-Genius systems have always offered more for less-and now Is no exception. Our newest features; builds confidence
A50 and R40 series come with a reputation for Innovative technology and performance that's In product with documented
made Micro-Genius the first choice for growing businesses like yours. In fact, a recent survey assurances of customer
conducted by Computer Smart Magazine found that four out of five of our customers would never satisfaction
consider purchasing anything but a Micro-Genius ever again. Here are just some of the features
and benefits of owning or leasing a Micro-Genius system:
Power. Whatever model you choose, you've got a 120GB hard drive and powerful Intel Core 17
processor, with speeds of up to 333GHz on selected systems.
Affordability. Owning or leasing a Micro-Genius system Is easier than you think. Packages
start as low as $899, with the added bonus offlexlble payment schedules.
ltemlwd list reduces resistances
Reliable Document_Recov!'.Y Micro-Genius SearchandRescue PC software- with Its by hlghllghtlng advantages
backup and recovery solutions- means you will never lose another document.
EasvWlred and Wireless Connedlvlty. Our new RSO Notebook series features Eureka
Connect, the fastest and easiest way to connect.
Convenient Online Su~rt. Enjoy the Innovation of Eureka one-touch access to onllne
support.
Best Warrantv In th Business. All Desktop PCs are covered by 3year (1 ")lear onslte)
Limited Warranties. All Notebook systems are covered by a 1-year Limited International
Warranty.
Money-Back Guarantff. If for any reason you're unhappy with your system, return It to us
within 60 days for a full refund-no questions askedl Imperative voice and positive
For more on systems featured In our 'More for Less' promotion, see the enclosed brochure or visit .,. tone encourage Immediate
us onllne at www.mlcrogenlus.ca/store. For personal assistance, call us toll-free at 1-8772445389. action; action Is made easy
If you want to flnd out how Micro-Genius technologies can help you save hard dollars to re-Invest
In your business, visit our Business Edge Estimator at www.mlcrogenlus.ca/edge today.

Mr. Jaywar Fisher Page2 January 29, 2014

Simply call us at 1-877244-5389 and place your order, and your new system will be up and
running In 3 business days-that's our guarantee. Plus, you get an additional gigabyte of memory
and shipping absolutely free. At Micro-Genius, you can get more power and convenience for less.
Sincerely,

Y tt.Wi.t tVQ.W;
Dawn Evans Postscript urges
Assistant Vice-President Immediate actions
Marketing with Incentive- a
P.S. Place your order by March 15 and you can add Microsoft Windows 8 Professional to your .,. - time limited special
package for only $199. That's a saving of S100 ovt>r the retail price. offer that makes
product a bargain
 COMMUNI C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
FIGURE 8 .14
Effective Sales Message II
Incentive highlighted In
boldface at top of message to
gain Immediate attention
Opening gains attention
with story that encourages
customer to Imagine
advantages of service
Second paragraph llnks need
to services provided and
Introduces service In detail
Bulleted list emphasizes features
of service
Introduction of price connected
Lo customer benerlts ~ service from first to last snowfall
Closing request makes action
easy; time-limited offer
""'
encourages prompt action
ICE BUSTERS
Snow and Ice Removal
101 Winter Drive
Edmonton, AB T4C 385
!187-55!1-1357
www.ICEBUSTERS.ca
September 3, 2013
Mr. Albert Chin
1554 1st Avenue
Edmonton, AB T2F 5V6
... Renew by September 30 and Save 15%
Dear Mr. Chin:
You wake up on a cold winter morning to find your street and yard heavily
blanketed in snow. As you watc h your neighbours lean wearily on their snow shovels,
you relax and decide there's time for another cup of coffee. After all, you know your
porch, front walk, and driveway will be clear and free of snow. Could you get used to
another winter like this?
Ice Busters Snow Removal Service hopes you can. We specialize in residential snow
removal, which means we make your property our highest priority. Unlike larger snow
removal services, whose revenues depend on commercial contracts, we clear your ice and
snow promptly, within four hours of the end of a snowfall. Plus, when conditions permit,
we apply environmentally friendly ice-melter to ensure your home access stays safe.
You can expect the same reliable and fully insured services you've already experienced
from Ice Busters, including the following
removal of snow accumulations of as little as 3 cm within four hours
careful plowing of entire driveway surface, not just a narrow path leading
to your garage
hand-shovelling of steps and walkways, safeguarding your delicate shrubs
and evergreens
For only $350, you can look forward to a trouble-free winter. Simply fill out the
enclosed renewal form and send it to us. Renew by September 30 and receive a
15% discount on your snow removal contract. There's no beating winter, but Ice
Busters sure beats shovelling.
Sincerely,
c~ Ste-ve,vt.SIX1
Cam Stevenson
President
Enc.
 8 I PER SUAS I VE ME SSA GES

FIGURE 8 . 15

AUDIOTRAX TECHNOLOGIES INC. Sales Follow-Up

2300 Laneway Drive, Unit 200

Scarborough, ON MAW 2T9
18885557711
www.AudioTrax.com

May 5,2014

Ms. Yasmin Jafari

IT Manager
Vanguard Industries
67 Westlncreek Drive
Mississauga, ON NSG 2T2

Dear Ms. Jafari:

Expresses appreciation
Congratulations on your decision to purchase an Audlotrax voice-recognition - --+-- for order
system. We appreciate the confidence you have shown In us and hope you will
benefit from the added security that only voice-recognition technology can provide.
Confirms details of sales/
It will be our pleasure to Install your new system and train your staff the week - - service agreement and provides
schedule for delivery of services
of May 26. Our expert trainers will be on site to oversee this project and answer
your questions. The system should be fully operational by May 30.

Sarah Anderson, our customer service speclallst, will be contacting you next week
to arrange a training schedule that Isconvenient for you. She wlll be avallable .,. Offers further assistance
throughout the Installation process to answer your questions and concerns. We
also Invite you to call our product support hotllne, which Is open 24 hours a day
to answer your technical questions and assist you In maximizing the features of
your new voice-recognition system.
Closes In friendly but
lfwe can be of help now or in the future, please call on us. professional manner

SIMerely,

Nick Papadakis
Audlotrax Sales Team
COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

Cl Opening: Does the opening command attention? Is the attention-getting technique

suited to the product, audience, and type of appeal? Does the opening provide a strong
and logical lead-in for the rest of the message?
Cl Product Description: How is the product introduced? Have you used only concrete
language to describe the product? Does the description help the reader picture what
it is like to use and benefit from the product? Have you offered proof to back up your
claims about the product?
Cl Salling Points: Does t he message identify and emphasize the product's central selling
points?
Cl Persuasive Appeals: What type of appeal have you used? Does it respond to the
reader's needs? Have you created a desire for the product?
Cl Resistance: Have you dealt with questions and objections the reader might have?
Cl Price: Have you introduced the price strategically?
Cl Closing: Does the closing tell the reader exactly what to do? Does it motivate the r eader
to take action quickly? Does it make the action easy?
Cl Postscript: If a postscript is included, does it recap and give extra emphasis to a special
offer or product feature or spu r to action?

FUNDRAISING MESSAGES
A variation on a sales letter is the fund raising appeal. Reade rs in th is case are asked not to
spend money hut to donate it to a worthy cause. Their support and generosity depen ds
on how well you show how a problem could be solved or alleviated with a donation that
will be put to good use. A fundraising letter should make readers feel good about giving.
To writ.e an effective fundraising message, follow these steps:

1. Identify an important problem. Explain why the reader should care about it.
2. Show that the problem is solvable. If a problem seems insurm ountable, readers will
naturally feel incapable of doing anythi ng to help. Hold out hope for even a partial,
short-term solution . Lin k a need to your organization's ability to respond to i.t.
3. Expl-tin what your organization is doing to solve tJ1e problem. Prove that funds
will he going to a good cause, not ji1st t.o the cost of fundraising. Outline past accom
plislm1en ts and future goals, citing facts and statistics. If readers might find it difficult
to grasp the enormity of a problem, describe the difference your group or charity
can make in the life of one individual or a comm unity. An enclosure- a brochure or
reprint of an article about your organization- can supply potential donors with use-
ful hackgroirn d inform ation.
4. Ask for a donation. Explain deficiencies in public funding that make private dona-
tions necessary. If appropriate, suggest amounts in descending order or propose a
monthly pledge. Put t.he gift in terms that the reader will understand by indicating
 8 I PERSUAS I VE ME SSA GES

Although It Is associated with

McDonald's, Ronald McDonald
House Charities Is prlmarlly
supported by donations
from other corporations and
Individuals. The charity's
direct mall campaign won a
Gold Award for Fundralslng
Excellence hn 2013. Along with
a letter describing how the
charity gave a mother shelter
whlle her newborn twins were
hospltallzed, the package
Included a hat that Is given to
preemies and pictures of the
babies.
Sou~e! 0 George Sheldon/Alamy

what it will huy. Broaden the scope of your message by suggesting other ways (volun-
teerLng, writing lette rs) readers can lend their suppo rt.

The sample favour req uest (see Figure 8.3 on pages 240- 1) sha res certain characterL~
tics with a typical fundraL~ing letter. A fundraising package will usually include an appeal
for a donation, a reply rorm, and a postage-paid envelope.

O Have you begun your message by capturing the reader's favourable interest? Have you
made the message immediately relevant to the reader's concerns? Have you put the
request in a positive light? Have you provided enough incentive for the reader to read on?
0 Have you chosen the right appeal or persuasive strategy to help you connect with your
reader? Is the persuasive strategy an ethical one your company condones?
O Have you overcome the reader's resistance?
0 Have you built credibility with your audience?
D Have you justified the request with a clear explanation of its reasons, details, and benefits?
O Have you inspired the reader to act? When necessary, have you provided incentive for
the reader to act promptly? Have you provided sufficient information so that the reader
will know what to do next?
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
i[ WORKSHOPS AND DISCUSSION FORUMS
1. Identifying Types of Appeals. Review recent maga-
zines and newspapers and find advertisements that
fit each oft.he following categories:
a) hanking and investment
b) travel and leisure
c) computers and technology
What types of appeals are used in each case? What,
if any, connect.ion exL~ts hetween the type of product
and t.he a ppeal that is used?
2. Analyzing Persuasive Messages. Working in small
groups, discuss weaknesses in the following messa-
ges and share ideas on how to revise them. Make an
overhead transparency or Powe rPoint slide of one of
your revised messages and discuss the changes you
have made with t.he rest of your class.
a) Persuasive Request (Follow-Up)
Let me first apologize for the delay. In sending this
letter. We have had a number of staff changes and
personnel problems recently and I realize now
that we have not yet followed up on the meeting
we had three months ago. Please be rest assured
your interest in supporting our organization is
really appreciated, and our response to subsequent
discussions will probably be timelier in the future.
Gordon, as you are an extremely wealthy alumnus
of our university, I believe that a strong case exists
for your law firm to provide financial support at a
leadership level. By making a leadership gift, your
firm will realize significant reputational benefits.
We propose a pace-setting gift of $500,000. In
recognition of your support for our organization at
the $500,000 level, we would be delighted to include
your firm's name on a small plaque in the lobby of
our offices.
. RITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES
1. Analyzing Subject Lines. Identify the most persuasive
subject 1Lne in each case.
a) Suhject: Donat.ions Required
I strongly urge you to consider donating $500,000 to
our well-deserving university. We need this money
desperately and will put it to good use.Thank you
for your consideration. Once I settle our personnel
problems, I will be in touch with you again to
remind you of this important opportunity to donate
$5001000 to such a worthy cause.
b) Persuasive Memo
I propose that our company sponsor a contest in
order to promote our new line of low-carbohydrate
products. Administering a contest can be expensive,
but the benefits are obvious. If you don't agree with
me, I think you w ill be missing out on a valuable
opportunity. I will need your authorization i n order
to proceed.
3. Analyzing a Sales Message. Using t.he effective sales
messages checklist on page 258 as a guide, analyze
the strengths and weaknesses of a sales message you
or a friend received recently. Did t.he message grnh
your attention? Did it make you want to huy I.he
product? Why or why not?
4. Evaluating Fundraising Appeals. As a group , collect
three or four fundraising messages you have received
and compare the types of appeals and approaches
they use. Evaluate opening and closing statements and
decide if each message has provided you with enough
information to encourage you to make a donation.
Write a hrief report on your analysL~ of the letters.
S. Developing a Fundrais ing Strategy. Select a regis-
tered Canadian charity (listings can be found on
the websites for Canada Revenue Agency or Charity
Village). Individually or in a group, plan a strategy
to convi nce your classmates to make a donation to
the charity
Suhject: Can You Spare $10 for a Good Cause?
Suhject: Meeti ng Our Target for t.he United Way
Campaign

b) Suhject: Suggestion
Suhject: Improving Security with Iletter
Passwords
Suhject: Have You Changed Your Password
Lately?
c) Suhject: Reducing Absenteeism and Low Morale
Suhject: On-Site Fitness Cent.re Required
Suhject: Couldn't You Use Some Time on a
Treadmill?
2. Analyzing Persuasive Openings. How pe rsuasive are
the follmving openings?
a) Favour request: Hi! My name is Joey Qosephine)
J ones and I have heen entrust.eel with the import-
ant job of finding someone to speak hefore a large
gathering of our sales representatives. l realize
that three days is very short notice for th L~ kind of
request, but would you perhaps he interested in
this speaking engagement?
b) Favour request: While I und erstand how husy
you must he, I have no choice but to ask you ror a
really big favour.
c) Favour request: With the support of businesses
Like your own, Project Outreach has counselled
over 2,500 at-risk high-school students and
helped them realize their dreams of post-second-
ary education.
d) Collection letter: You owe us $5,048.00- so
pay up!
e) Sales letter: A free leathe r carry-on is you rs
with your next return-airfare booking on
Travelwdl.com.
f) Sales letter: Have I got a deal for you! FoT
only $699 per person (+ tax), an amazing, all-
inclusive, one-night getaway to the ahsolutely
fabulous Muskox lnn can he yours!
g) Sales le tter: Are you tired of waiti ng precious
minutes t.o download Internet files?
h) Sales letter: We take such great pride in o uT
engineering that we know you won't he able to
resist our new line of home appliances.
i) Sales letter: For a limited time only, get one-
month free texting when you purchase a new
smartphone at any of our locations.
j) Sales letter: Hi! My name is Kevin . Mayhe you
haven't heard o r my company, Picture Perfect, bu.t
I think you'd he amazed hy our new line o r digit.al
cameras.
8 I PERS UA SI VE MESSAGES
3. Writing Clear and Concrete Descriptions. Revise eacb
of the following product descriptions from sales let-
ters hy making I.he lanbruage more positive, concrete,
appealing to the senses, and reader-focused.
a) Our chocolate products, which sell for as li t.tie
as $5 a box, are made rTOm cocoa imported r,-om
Europe and they taste good.
b) Our Wind-Turho Vacuum has a 12-amp mot.or
and an 8-metre cord.
c) vVe think discern ing customers, like you, will he
pleasantly surprised by the luxuri ous selection of
imported linens on which we pride ourselves.
d) Although our products aren't maintenance-free,
they require less maintenance because they fea-
tu re self-cleaning mechanisms that prevent the
buildup of unsightly lime and mineral deposits.
e) Just hecause our cookware costs less doesn't
mean it isn't durable.
4. Citing Benefits. For each requested act.ion, cite one or
more potential benefits.
a) Call us today and for just $2.5 a month you can
equip your home wi th a voice-activated security
monitoring system.
b) Please give me authorization to purchase hand.~
free telephone headsets for each of our 20 cus-
tomer servi ce representatives.
c) Please respo nd hy J un e 1 so l may add your
name to the list of distinguished speakers for the
Vancouver Young Business As.~ociates summit on
Septernher 14.
d) Visit us soon at one of our five convenient Calgary-
area locations to hook your mid-winter getaway to
sunny Ilarhad os for as little as $899 a week.
S. Analyzing Persuasive Closings. Do tlhe following
action closings motivate readers to act quickly? Is the
action made clear and easy in each case?
a) Favour request: We really must have our list of
speakers finalized, so try to respond by July 1, if
not sooner.
b) Claim request: lfl don't hear from you by May 15,
I will assume you have rejected my claim and I will
have no alternative hut to seek legal act.ion.
c) Sales letter: Unless you act quickly and phone
us now, you'll be out of luck and won't qualify for
the 10% discount.
d) Sales letter: I cannot urge you strongly enough
to place an orde r now hy calling 1-800-625-8771
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
and, when prompted, asking for Donald. To qual-
ify fo r a 5% discount, you must quote this refer-
ence numher: 9112866B. Discounts do not apply
to all products. For a list of exclusions, please see
our wehsite: www.easy_order.com.
6. Adding Postscripts. Compose postscripts for the fol-
lowing sales messages.
llc
~~~~~~~~~~~~~-
ASE STUDY EXERCISES
1. Favour Requast. As pan of your posit.ion at Canmuir
Ind ustries, you are responsihle for organizing a golf
tournament fundraising event, with proceeds going
to the Hean and Stroke Foundation. Last year, at a
similar event, your company raised over $.50,000-
money that went toward research and educational
programs. This year the even t will be hosted at
North land Golf and Cou ntry Cluh. ln addition to
a day~ go lfi ng on the award -winning links, there
will he a draw to win lessons with a golf pro, spe
cial promotional kiosks, and a putting competition ,
followed by a four-course dinner. You have already
secured the su pport of local retail businesses, which
have donated items to be sold at kiosks at each of
the course's 18 holes. Now you need .36 committed
individuals from your organization to oversee the
kiosks frum 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. the day of the
event. Compose a memo to all employees, asking for
their assistance.
2. Favour Request. As a student in the Fashion Design
and Technology Program at Saint-Laurent College,
you have heen appoi nted chair of the annual fashion
show an d competition's organizing committee. The
event features designs from the program's !,'Taduating
class and is sponsored by a famous Canadian fash-
ion retail chain that offers internships to competi
tion win.ners. In the past, competition judges have
included well-known fashion editors, designers, and
stylists whose participation attracted media atten-
tion and helped raise money for Fashion Helps, a
charity that provides support services to families
of the tern1inall y ill. Last year, through the sale of
$20 adm ission tickets, Saint-Laurent College raised
close to $10,000. This year, you would like to invite
Monique Robert, a Montreal boutique owner and
a) A letter that offers readers a premium for taking
out a memhership in an aut.omohile association.
b) A letter that offers readers a 25 per cent discount
ir they renew their magazine subscriptions right
away.
c) A letter that advertises a quality home-security
system.
shoe designer, t.o be one of the judges. The nature
of I.he event's sponsorship means you can offer her
only a small honorarium, hut you woi1ld also li ke
to featme her newest line of footwear in the show.
Wri te to Monique Rohert, encouraging her to accept
yom invi tation.
3. Favour Request. Your aerospace company has
recently responded to a request rTom Project Prot.ege,
an educational mentorship program designed to help
promising high-school students at risk of dropping
out. Because you hire only college graduates and give
preference to those with post-graduate degrees, you
understand I.he importance of keepi ng teenagers in
school. You would like yoiu company to participate,
hut you realize this wi.11 require three volunteers from
your firn1 to give up an entire Saturday to speak with
students ahout career opportunities in the industry.
As far as you know, mentors will receive no ree hut
\vi ll he invited to a year-end banquet in return for
donating their time and se rvices. Write a memo to
staff, asking ror their help.
4. Persuasive Memo. Wri te a persuasive memo on one
of the followi ng topics:
a) Colleagues have complai ned that th e office
environment you share is drah and depressing.
Lighting is poor, filing systems are disorganized,
and office furniture is in disrepair. Visitors com-
plain that your office looks downright l.mprofes-
sional. Write a memo, presenting a plan to perk
up your office environment.
b) Three years ago, your business introduced
extended hours. Although the new hours do not
force employees to work more than the num -
ber of hours per week set out hy labo ur laws,
the re have heen so me negative repercussions.

Ahsenteeism L~ up, payroll costs have soared, and
the eveni ng work hours have posed a challenge
to employees with children, especially those who
must pick up preschoolers from daycare racilities.
Write a persuasive memo, asking for the cancella-
tion of extended hours.
c) A num her of your colleagues are co nsidering
switchi ng to part-time hours as an alternative
to retirement. You have developed a plan for a
mentorship program that would allow these indi -
viduals to provide invaluahle support to trainees.
Write a memo to the chid operating officer, sug-
gesting this idea.
d) Your company is current.Ly without an e-mail
policy, which has resulted in widespread abuses
o r the technology and a lack of unHomiity in mes-
saging. Based on your knowledge of e-mail proh-
Lerns and abuses, WTi te a persuasive memo, asking
for the creation of corporate e-mail guidelines.
11) You work at the head office o r a large Canadian
investment house. You and most of your col-
leagues put in exceptionally long hours. Recently,
you read an article reporting that almost half of
fortunt: magazine's top one hundred companies
provide take-home meal~ for their employees.
You r office alTeady has a we ll-staffed, state-of-
the-art catering and kitchen facility. Compose a
persuasive memo, suggesting that take-home din-
ners he made availahle at a reasonable cost.
f) You helieve employees appreciate heing noticed
fo,- a joh well done OT for an idea that saves time
o r money That's why you agree with the Work
Expe ri ence Study, conducted by consulting firms
Towers Perrin and Gang&: Gang in 2003, which
reported that what employees really want is to
feel good about their abilities and to be recog
nized for the contributions they make. You've also
discovered that BBDO Canada offers an annual
$500 awaTd to the employee with the best over-
all creative idea, insight, or strategy Motivation
among your colleat,rues is currently at an all-tinu:
low. Write a memo, suggesting the introduc-
tion of a similar innovation reward program in
youTcompany
g) With recent cuts to the funding of puhlic educa-
tion, you have noticed that your staff memhers
a re taking on their children\; school fundraising
8 I PERSUAS I VE MESSAGES
efforts at work. Every day, it seems, someone is
selling chocolate-covered almonds, magazine
suhscri.ptions, or garbage bags. Although the
money is for a good cause, yo u feel you must
respond to seri ous complaints about this prac
tice. Since your hrokerage firm requires staff
to give customers and other stakeholders their
undivided attention, you feel such fundraising
activities should he restricted to lunch hours and
break times. write a persuasive memo to all staff,
establishing limits on office ftmdraising.
S. Parsuasiv11 Mamo. Identify a problem in need of a
solution or a situation in need of improvement in
your school or place o r employment. Write a well-
researched memo, identifyi ng the benefiL~ of what you
propose and making a compelling case for change.
6. Claim Raqu11st. As co-owner of a small graphics design
finn, you recently hosted a one-day business retreat
for all staff at the Ocean View lnn, a conference facility
you have long counted on for its excellent cateLing and
technical services. One month in advance, you made
an $800 deposit on the room booking and catering
costs. The remaind er of the tot.al $4,000 cost (which
includes all applicable taxes) was to he paid after the
event. The retreat was a success, hut you were sur-
prised when you received a new invoice for $3,550.
The additional charges were for a $100 users fee
and a $2 50 booki ng fee. You feel that these charges,
because they were not part o r the original agreement,
are either unwarranted or erroneous. Th.e Ocean View
hm, you have just discovered, is under new manage
ment, which may account for the discrepancies. Write
to manager Kaleigh Smith, requesti ng an. adjustment.
7. Claim R11quast. You recently received. a $250 gift
card rrom your departmen t manager as a reward for
work well done on an important contract. However,
when you tiied to use it at Folio, the hookstore that
issued the card, you were told that it bad expired and
you would have t.o pay an inactivity fee before you
could make your purchase. You felt that there must
have heen some mL~take, as the card was L~sued only
three months ago and not stamped with an ex11ira
tion date. Although the reactivation charge was only
$15, you believed that, in principle, you shouldn't
have heen penalized and the unreasonable fee should
have been waived. You left the store disappointed,
without redeeming the card. After some research, you
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
discovered that, und er provincial guideli nes, retailers
are not all owed to issue gift cards that have expiry
dates or 1.0 charge reactivation fees. You don't believe
that the staff at Folio are intentionally breaking the
law, hut you want to make them aware of their ohli
gations and have them revise their practices in the
future. Make your case in a persuasive claim to Folio's
customer service division.
8. Collection Letter Series. You are the owner of a gen-
eral contracting hi1siness that undertook extensive
renovations on a property owned hy Arnold Levitt.
Work valued at $17,000 was completed on sched-
ule three months ago, and the property subsequently
passed inspection. Because Mr. Levitt has always
paid you on time for all previous contracts, you are
somewhat surprised that all hut the original $1,700
deposit remains unpaid . There is some urgency to
your request for payment because you must settle
your own accounts with electrical and plumbing sub-
contractors who worked for you on the project. Mr.
Levitt travels frequently, so you have heen unable to
reach him hy phone. Your voice-mail messages have
gone unanswered. 'Write a collection se1ies.
9. Sales Letter. As owner of Swiftcyde Courier Services,
write a sales message to prospective customer Florian
Heinz, president of Frontier Equity Mutual. Your ten-
year-old company provides bicycle courier services
at highly competitive rates to a large number of busi
nesses, including six other tenants of First Canadian
Place in downtown Toronto's financial district, where
ONLINE ACTIVITIES
1. Eliminating Fuzzy Logic. Read the foll owing article
on logical fallacies from Purdue University$ Online
Writing Lah:
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/
resource/659/01
Theri visit the follmving pages and idrntify weak-
nesses in logic in each of the examples:
www.writing.engr.psu.edu/exercises/fallacies
.html
http://faculty.stevenson.edu/jsalvucci/
WritingHelp/lng_exer.htm
the head office of Frontier Equity Mutual is located.
Fo r the next three months, you are offering an intro
d uctory special to new clients, which entitles them
to a 15 per cent discount on all envelope and small-
package courier services. Your radio-dispatched
delivery personnel are fully bonded and are experts
at time-critical delivery. Online orderi ng is also one
of the services you offer. Size up your prospect, then
write a letter to Flori an Heinz (make up any addi-
tional details you require).
10. Sales Letter. As a graduate of the Culinary Arts
Program at Foothills College, you and fellow graduate
Tatiana Melnikov are launching your own low-carh
catering business, Smart Food. You have two years'
experience as head chef at Food for Life, a highly
rated local restaurant, and have worked as a sous-
chef at restaurants in Vancouver and Halifax. Tatiana
has previously worked as a registered dietitian .
Together you plan to fine-cater intimate, casual, and
formal events, especially business-related functions.
Direct office-delivery of affordable, low-ca rh lunch
specials, ordered through your website, is another
service that you will offer. You think busy profession-
als will he impressed hy your extensive repertoire of
healthy, low-carb specialties, a full listing of which
also appears on your website. To promor.e your new
business, you have considered hosting a tasting event
th.at would allow potential clientele to sample the best
of your menu. Compose a promotional letter suitable
for a direct-mail campaign aimed at local businesses.
2. Writing a Product Description. Visit Sonys online
store and select a product you thi nk would appeal
to your classmates. Read the accompanying product
overview and note its features, then write yom own
product description so th.at it clearly outlines benefits
to the reader and creates a desire [or the product.
Present the description to your classmates as though
it were an actual sales letter and ask for their reac-
tion. Pri m out the corresponding page from the web-
site and hand it in with your product descri ption .
www.snnystyle.com
LEARNING OBJECTIVES

1. Prepare for employment by assessing your 5. Create online and scannable resumes.
career objectives, Interests, and professional
6. Write solicited and unsolicited job
strengths.
application letters that strategically target
2. Use resources to network and find out about and sell your skills to prospective employers.
jobs and employers.
7. Prepare for and follow up on job Interviews.
3. Use social media tools to search for and apply
8. Write a range of messages related to
for a job and to establish a profile.
job-seeking, Including requests for
4. Compose chronological and skills-based recommendation.
resumes that provide overviews of your
professional background and capabilities.
COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

CRAIG WILSON , vice-president of human resources at Ocean Nutrition Canada, has tapped
Into the power of social media to move his company Into a new era of employee recruit-
ment. About half ofthe company's new positions are filled by candidates who found the job
posting on social media. Wiison says:

The benefit of social media l.s that we can take our message directly to the candidate.
When you run an advertisement, you have to wait and see. With social media, we
can cover a broad geography, be Industry- and skill-specific and process much of It
electronically. We're able to compress a lot In at the front end. For now, Llnkedln Is
something we can mine (for talent) and Facebook Is about creating conversations and
finding referrals.'

CIBC Mellon also ventured Into Twitter and Llnkedln to raise Its profile and gain an edge
over Its competition In recru iting top candidates. Sue Simone, the company's senior vice-
president of human resources, sums up the rationale:

Jobseekers today are tech-savvy and they expect that any company they are looking at
joining will have a presence on and a relationship with social media. It's a great way to
gain Insight Into a person's personal brand and their qualifications. It's also a low-cost
solution to recruiting, employer brand vlslblllty and establishing a leading-edge Image
for the brand. We are now able to connect and engage with candidates by learning
more about their accomplishments, Interests, networks and volunteer work, to name a
few examples.... The use of social media In recruiting Is just the beglnnlng.2

Being successful In a job search Is a process that requires a cluster of complementary

and Interrelated skills: research, analysis, organization, oral and written communication,
persuasion, and, Increasingly, social networking.

Analyzing Your Career Goals and

Qualifications
Finding a joh you can grow and succeed in starts with knowing your values, goals, pref-
erences, qualifications, and competencies. The term competency descrihes tbe ongoing
development of integrated knowledge, skills, attitudes, and behaviou rs required to per-
form work and be a successful practitioner in any profession. Competencies an: measur-
ahle and ohservahle and relate to work and work expe ri ence; therefore, they are important
in evaluating performance. 3 Some pro fessional stock-taking and personal soul-searching
can guide you to the right career path and point the way to employment options that are
likely to fulfill your needs. Self-assessment involves considering what you enjoy doing.
identifying personality traits that apply to your work style, and learn ing from earlier work
experiences. Answering questions in the following categories can help you deci de what
type of work is hest for you.

ASSESSING YOUR SKILLS AND VALUES

Who are you? what are your values, interests, and marketahle skills? How have
you demonstrated those skills? Will your skills allow you to capitalize on
employment trends?
 9 I COMMU NI CAT I NG FOR EMP LOYME N T ~

What drew you to your career path or program or study? Does your work allow you
to realize yom original desires and intent.ions?
What are you good at? What are you most interested in doing? Resolving troubled
situations? Developi ng ideas? Helping people? Making things happen?
Are you willing to acqui re new skills or retrain for I.he sake of advancement?
Where, realistically, do you see yourseH in five or ten years?
What trade-offs are you willi ng to make for job satisfaction (e.g., reduced salary and/
or benefits; less personal time due to travel, commuting, or overtime)? Do you live to
wo rk or work to live?

ASSESSING YOUR WORK PREFERENCES AND PERSONALITY

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Do you most enjoy socializing, directing,
or thinking?
In what work setting are you most comfortable? Do you prefer to work in a large
organization (with a big hierarchy or chain of command) or a small one (i nvolving
direct, informal, one-to-one contacts)?
Do you enjoy working with people, materials, ideas, or data? Do you best succeed
when working in a group or alone? What level or interaction is right for you?
Are you decisive? Do you enjoy making decisions?
Do you prefer to take a leading role o r a supporting one? How much say do you like
to have in the workplace? How 1m1ch freedom do you need? How important is it to
be your own boss?
Do you appreciate and apply feedback? ls it necessary to your success on the job?
Do you like work that is fast-paced or slow-paced?' Are you looking for exc:it.ement
and variety from your job? Do you find certain tasks boring? What type of work do
you find most stimulating?
Are you looking for challenges and risks, even if they make your job less secure? Are
you looking ror a stable job with a reb'Ular routine?
Would you rather he a specialist or a generalist?
What do you want from your job in terms of rewards (e.g., money, creative opportun-
ities, status, travel, security, the chance to build something lasting)?
How im portant are colleab'Ues, working conditions, a nd job sti mulation?

ASSESSING YOUR WORK HISTORY

What accomplishments are you most proud of? Where have you gone right in your
career so far?
What is the best praL~e or recognition you received for your work? Why was I.hat
praise meaningful to you?
What work tasks, experiences, and relations hips have you found most satisfying?
What was your motivation in that job? What qualities or features did the work have
(e.g., learned on the job, worked with intelligent/creative people, applied skills suc-
cessfully, believed in product or company mission)?
What work experiences have you most disliked? Wl1at qualities or features did the
wo rk have? Wl1at turned you off most about the jobs you have had?
How well do you communicate and learn on the job?
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

On the hasis of work you ha.ve already done, what hard and soft skills can you offer a
prospective employe r?

Enter into the joh search and application process with clear thought not only to your
qualifications and past employment hut also to your competencies and "sort skills" and
how you can demonstrate and prove them through the following means:

approach to work (i ncluding llexihility and resourcefulness)

knowledge and quality of work
organization and time/task management
client service orientation and social sensitivity
communication and in terpersonal skills
leade rship, team work, and team skil l~
analytical thinking!prohlem-solving!decision-making
result. achievements and ahil ity to cope with responsihility
professional development and interest in lifelong learn ing

Having a successful and fulfilling career is not just a matter of finding a joh where you At
in hut also one of finding a career area I.hat fi.ts yom personality and qualifications. Look
for a position that allows you to play to your strengths and develop skills in those areas. Be
prepared to change johs every few years to learn from experience- Canadians change jobs
four to fi.ve times in their lives-and adapt to fluctuations in the j oh market and economy
hy huilding your marketahle skills.'

Job-Hunting
Very few job offers materialize as if by magic. Joh-hunti ng requires time, effort, and perse-
verance, but the payoffs of a successful search can be enormous. It is usually wise to work
on the assumption that the more information you have about employment opport.uni ties,
the greater your chance of getting the joh you want. A successful search campaign hebrins
with the follo\ving steps:

studyi ng the job market (hy gathering infmmation from published articles, hlogs, other
social media sources, career services offices, instructors and mentors, and joh fairs)
building professional networks that can he a source of information and insight Oiy
joining university-hased professional associations, Twitte r, o r Linked ln professional
groups; volunteering; or interning)
identifying sources of empl oyment (by paying attention to channels and platfom1s
including print, web, social media, and personal word-of-mouth communication)
leam ing ahout the organizations you would most Like to work for (hy reading indus-
try and trade puhlicat.ions, corporate and CEO hlogs, RSS feeds, company wehsit.es,
and co rporate mission statements or hy following or liking compai1 ies of interest on
social media)
estahl L~h ing an online presence l.o huild your professional brand and attract t-inploy-
ers and opportunities
matching your skills and training to the most suitahle positions

A joh search can involve several different types of activities and technologies. To get results
from this process, follow these steps:
 9 I CO MM U NI C AT IN G FO R EM PLOY MEN T

L Tap into the full potential of social media. A growing trend among job-seekers is
loold ng for employment opportunities and open positions through social media plat
fom1s such as Linkedln , Twitter, Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, Instagram, Tumhlr, and
biogs. Deciding which sites to use depends on where members of your industry gather
and engage online and which sit.es are most compatible with your onli ne identity and
personal brand. For example, Linkedln is popular with marketing professionals, while
lnstagram and Pinterest have a natural alib'llment with visual artists and graphic design
ers. 6 For more on using social media in your job search , see t.he next section.
2. Mast er electronic job-search techniques. Employers often post positions on job
bank websites (such as Monster and Workopolis) and on their own company web-
sites. Many job-bank websites allow you to post your resu me on li ne and browse
through thousands of ads by occupation or geograph ic area. You can also participate
in newsgroups to get ind ustry-specific job listings.
3. Read the career pages, classified ads, and financial sections of newspapers, trade
and professional journals, and business magazines. To monitor these publica-
tions for free, check out the periodical section of your local or school library. Join

TABLE 9.1 Online Job Banks and Career Resources

WEBSITE DESCRIPTION

Canadi anCareers.com
Eluta.ca
Monster.ca
The Riley Guide Job Listings
(www.rileyguide.com/internat.html)
Service Canada Job Bank
(www.jobbank.gc.ca)
This site covers all facets of careers and employment,
including internships for Canadians under thirty.
This site lists new job announcements posted on employers'
websites across Canada.
This site offers more than three thousand job listings and
a full range of interactive career tools, including advice on
resumes and cover letters, job hunt strategies, salaries and
benefits, and career development.
This site offers numerous links to international joblisting
sites, including many for Canada, as well as information
on resumes and cover letters, salary guides, and how to
prepare a search and execute a campaign.
This site allows you to search by occupation or to search all
jobs posted in the last 48 hours. You can create your resume
using the free resume-builder tool.

Workopolis.com This site allows you to search jobs by keyword, location,

WorkopolisCampus.com
date, and job category and to access articles and advice.
Registration is not required to search the jobs, but you can
register for free to save searches and set up a careeralert
email service.
This is Canada's biggest site for students and recent
graduates. Registration is not required to view all of the job
postings but is needed to take advantage of its resources
and to post your resume online (obtain an access code from
your school).
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

professional and trade assodat.i.ons that will send you reb'l1lar listings and announce-
ments of job open ings. Study trends in the lahour market by reading ar ticles on
expanding companies and business sectors. This research will help you to predict
where new johs will he created based on need.
4. learn to network. Networking i_5 an essential business tool that involves meeting new
contacts and cultivating relationships that could lead to personal and husiness success.
You can develop a good network of contacL5 in the industry hy becoming involved in
comm unity activities and hy attend ing networking events or professional cm1ferences
regularly or by becoming involved in mentorship programs offered hy your college or
university Doing so will increase your num her of potential cnntacL5 and give you the
opportunity to promote yourself and your accomplishments. Don't he afraid to ask your
personal and professional contacts-professors, instruct.ors, career service advisors,
co-workers, mentors, family friends, and alumni- for advice, especially people who
are knowledgeable ahout your field. Networking may not work for everyone, hut it can
produce unexpected opportunities for those who take the trouble to follow leads.
5. Use tl1e hidd en job market. Only a small percent.age of jobs are advertised .
cold call an unsolicited telephone Unad vertised j obs are part of a hidden joh market that can he accessed via cold
call In which aJob-seeker calls and netwo rki ng with personal contacts. To find out if a company might have
Introduces himself or herself and
asks about Job openings. an opening for someone with your qualifications or might he motivated to create
such a position, you can wri te an unsolicited letter of application, othe rwise known
as a job-prospecting letter, and send it to the company along with your resume. You
can also make cold-call inquiries to companies and
set up information interviews. Such meer.ings put
you in touch with individuals who are prepared to
talk \vith you, even for a few minutes, about skill
Read "The Hidden Job Market on requirements, job duties, and hiri ng prospects.
the Government of Canada's Services These ind ividuals may very well have the power to
for Youth web page for more on hire you. Have several s pecific questions in mind
networking: http://goo.gi/9KX61W when you call so you won't waste the prospective
employer's time or make a nuisance of yourself.
Another way to scout for unadvertised johs is to
sign up for inr.erviews when com pany recruiters
visi t your school. Joh recm itmen t fairs, including
online ones, may also yidd t he big hreak you have heen looking for. When attending
recruitment events, go with a stack of resumes in hand .
6. Visit career centres or employment agenci es. Take advantage of the Joh placement
employment agency an se rvices at your college, unliversity, or government employment agencies by regis-
organization that marches Job tering early. Check out joh not.ice hoards and ask about counselli ng services offered
candidates with Jobs, somNlmcs
for a fee. hy the centres.
7. Think ahead. look into the possihility of getting a summer internship or co-op joh
while you are still a student. Non-salaried employment can help you gain valuable
experience that gives you an edge once you brrad.uate. Plan to devote as much time as
you can to your job search and he persistent..
8. Polish your interpersonal and communication skills. Brush up on telephone man-
ners and. make sure your or.al and wri tten communkation skills are first-rate. Your
ability to communicate can make or hreak your rirst contact with a company.
 9 I COMMU NI CAT I NG FOR EMP LOYME N T P1'I
Using Linked In and Twitter to Establish an
Online Presence
LINKEDIN
lat1nched in 2002, linkedln was the first social media site to all ow users "to create,
manage and share their professional identities online." 7 Although the site limits the type
of content that can be posted to a profile to one photo and some video, not having a
Linkedln profile or leveraging iL~ networking, knowledge-sharing, and business oppor-
tt1nity capabilities can he a disadvantage. Using the site pt1ts you on the soda! media map
as a husLness professional and completes this dimension of your onlLne identity. lt helps
ht1sinesses find you and, a~ a persua~ive image management tool, helps others to see you
as a leader and desired employee." ln addition, membership in Linkedln groups can give
yot1 access to discussions wi.th industry professionals ouL~ide your immediate network,
cont.acts who may have news of job postings.
Create your Linkedln proflle by following these steps and examples:

1. In clude a photo and preliminary information. Up load a professionally taken head

shot of yourself in ht1siness attire. Provide your name; a profes.~onal headline that can
he a specific joh title (e.g., Assodate Manager, Social Media and Digital Commimkat.ions
at TD Bank), your career goal or foct1s (e.g., Busines.~ Marketing Grad uate focused
on Social Media Marketing), or yam ct1rrenl industry st.at.us (e.g., Freelance
Communications and Digital Design Consult.ant); and your geographic location.
2. C omplete the overview section of you r public profile. The overview should
include information in each of the following categories: Current, Previous, Education,
and Connections. Connections can he first-degree, second-degree, or third-degree.
Ensure that you have as many first-degree connections as possible in order to build a
strong network. Here is an example:

Tegan Shaw

Associate Manager, Social Media Communications at TD Bank

Toronto, ON I Communications

Previous Tim Hortons Inc., Canadian Tire, Liberty Grand

Education Western University, Humber College

soo+ connections

3. Provide details of your experience and education . Your expe rience and education
should be presented in mt1ch the same way as they would he in a standard resume,
hut the infom1ation should he targeted to attract employers and make it easier for
them to And you. "Experience" can encompass both employment history and other
dimensions of your profile, such as languages you speak, volunteer work you have
done, causes you support, organizations you belong to, and certifications you have
earned. You can also add specific skills to your profile, keywords that will highlight
areas of expertise. Becai1se these skills can he endorsed hy your connect.ions, make
sure that the ones you choose are accurate." Continuing \vith our example, here is
what Tegan Shaws more detailed profile looks like:
CO MMU N I C ATI N G FO R RESU LTS

Experience

Associate Manager, Social Media Communications

TD Bank Group
November 2011 - Present (2 years 4 months) JToronto, Ontario, Canada

Social Media Specialist

nm Hortons Inc.
July 2010- November 2011 (1 year, 5 months) I Markham, Ontario, Canada

Social M11dia Sp11cialist

Canadian Tire Incorporated Limited
July 2009- July 2010 (1 year) IToronto, Ontario, Canada

Sp11cial Ev11nts Assistant

The Liberty Grand
November 2008- July 2009 (9 months) J Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Skills & Expertise

Online Community Management
Digital Strategy
Social Media Marketing
Social Media Sponsorship Marketing
Media Relations
Corporate Communications
Marketing
Communications
Public Relations

Education

W11st11rn Univusity
Bachelor of Arts, Media a111d Public Interest
2004-2007

Activities and Societies: Vice-President, University Student's Council, Media Information

Student's Council, Students with Disability Commissioner, Theatre Western

Humber College
Graduate Certificate, Public Relations
2007-2008

Additional Information

Honours and Awards

Western University Students' Council
Leadership Award 2007

4. Provide a thorough, compelling background summary. Think or the summary as

a commercial about yourse lf. 10 Demonstrate your expertise and include industry-
related keywords as well as an attention-getting and professional-sounding headline
that accurately and energetically describes who you are a.~ a professional. Fuill contact
in formation (e-mail add ress, website link, Twitte r account) ensures that i11te restecl
 9 I COMMU NI CAT I NG FOR EMP LOYME N T ~

employe rs can reach you. A note on what oppo rtunities would inte rest yo u can
help employers judge if you are a likely prospect.
5. Follow steps that will enable your profi le to rank higher in search res ults. For
any wehsite you list, customize the link's anchor text. Also customize the public
profile address that directly link~ to your foll llnkedln profile with your name. You
can then add it to ot.her documents used for professional purposes, such as husiness
card s, cover letters, resumes, and hrochures. You can even include this custom URL in
your e-mail signature.
6. Enrich your profile with visual content. As of sp ring 2011, Linkedln supports vis-
ual content that can aid yoiir professional storyt.ellin g. Add media links hy uploading
a recent PowerPoint presentation or a website or video that relates to your work
Ot.her members have the option to "Like" what you have posted.
7. Solicit endorsements and recommendations. These can be drawn from a pool of
those best positioned to judge your work accomplish ments: co-workers, supervisors,
and career mentors. 11
8. Update your pmfi.le to reflect fresh achievements and professional development.
Keep in mind t.hat current employers may interpret frequent updates as a sign that
you are looking fo r a new position.

TWITI ER
Twitter is gaining in populari ty as a job-search tool. The first step in realizing its potential
is to create a complete and specific account that highlights your professional proile. Th ink
of your Twitter account as an on line busi ness card 12 and descri be yourself in concrete
terms, providing your professional tit.le or area of expenise, company/industry, and a not.a-
ble achievement or career aim (e.g., Social Media Youth Brand Marketer at Sport Chek).
In adding the maximum two profile images that represent you r account, use professional
heaclshots- not canoons or selfies. Your profile photo wiU appear next to every tweet you
send and can help you create a good impression. Make your information specific and llnk
to your blog or website, if you have one. Unless your hobbies relate directly to you r career
or soft ski!Js, create separate profiles to showcase extensive extracurricular interests. To
make your Twitt.er account more unique and to alii:,rn it v..-ith your personal brand , you can
customize the background by creating a file and upload ing it under "Design." 1:1
Once you've set up your account, stan following people and institutions, including
trade and professional organizations that are most relevant to your career. Use the "Advanced
Search" and "Who to Follow" options to find people according to industry or location.
Eiqllore new topics introduced through hashtags. If you follow many Twitter accounts, use
lists to separate them lnt.o different categories, making those lists either public or private. 1
Gain attention that can bring you news and opportunities in return by posting content and
retweeting what you find most intriguing. Connect with mentors and others you admire by
using the @ symbol to send them a private message. Finally, if you restrict your tweets to
professionally related topics, you can link your account to your Linkedln profUe
Est.ahlishing an online presence and making your professional image or brand con-
sistent over multiple platforms- with the same look and. message- has some unexpected
benefits. For example, with software such asJohvite, companies can now also identify and
source joh candidates through their employees' social networks. 1'
 COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS
resum4! a persuasive written
document In which Job applicants
summal1Za their quallflcatlons
and relate their education,
work expertence, and personal
accompllshmentl to the needs of a
prospective employer.
Writing Persuasive Resumes
A resume is a one- to two-page personal marketing tool that tells prospective employers
about your education, employment ei..11erience, and skill sets. This document itemizes
these details as specific blocks of information organized under easy-reference headings,
arranged strategically to play up your strengths. At the top o r the page, it supplies con-
tact infom1ation (full mailing address, telephone number, and e-mail address) so that
interested parties can reach you. A resume represents you and your best work on paper,
providing evidence that will help prospective employers decide whether you qualify
fo r interviewing. lt may not tell them everything about you- non-essentials are best
excluded- but it provides a summary of your qualifications for a specific job and shows
your achievements in past work experiences. An erfecti.ve resume enables you to get your
foot in the door, giving you the chance to win over interviewers in person. Because your
resume is the first proof employers may have or your ability to communicate in \VTiting, it
should reflect your professionalism in its neatness, accuracy, and careful fom1atting.
HOW EMPLOYERS USE RESUMES
Resumes help employers to gather standardized data about and to screen applicants,
though few resumes are read word for word. Faced with the huge task of reviev.>ing hun-
dreds of res umes for a single position, HR specialists spend a minute or less perusing each
one. To simplify and speed up the saning and screening process, they may scan resumes
into an electronic job-tracking system. Only applicants whose resumes contain keywords
matched to job requirements may pas,,<; to the next st.age of the job competition. To ensure
that you remain a candidate fort.he job you seek, prepare your resume for easy skimmabil-
ity and scannahility (see "Prepari11g a Scannahle Resume" pp. 284-fi).
RESUME WRITING STYLE
Because resumes deliver information quickly through lists and phrases, resume wiiting
requires a tight, clipped, action -oriented style that focuses on results. The reade r will
already understand that details in. the document pert.ain to you , so there is no need to use J.
Telegraphic phrases that begin with action verbs take the place or complete sentences.
Conventi onal style: I designed and coordinated two marketing campaigns that resulted
in a 15 per cent increase in sales over one year.
Resum e style: Designed and coordinated two marketing campaigns.
Increased annual sales by 15 per cent.
As much as possible, these phrases should qi1antify details and incorporate keywords
that relate your qualifications to r.hose being sought. Here are a few more tips to help you
produce a perfect final copy.
Use capitals and/or boldface for headings. Avoid hard-to-read capitals and italics in
other parts of your resume.
Use consistent indenting. lf you use columns to arrange info1lTIJltion, make sure
they are regular. Be consistent in setting off details in each section.
 9 I COMMU NI CAT I NG FOR EMP LOYME N T ~

TABLE 9 . 2 Action Verbs for Resu mes

acted estimated prepared

adapted expanded presented
advised facilitated processed
analyzed formulated produced
arranged founded programmed
assembled guided promoted
assisted handled provided
built harmonized purchased
carried out headed raised
catalogued identified recommended
coll a borated implemented recorded
collected improved redesigned
completed increased reorganized
computed initiated repaired
conducted inspected represented
conserved installed reviewed
constructed instituted revised
consulted instructed saved
controlled introduced scheduled
co-operated investigated selected
coordinated launched serviced
counselled led set up
created made sold
dealt maintained started
decided managed streamlined
decreased monitored supervised
delivered negotiated supplied
designed operated supported
determined ordered trained
developed organized unified
directed performed upgraded
distrabuted pioneered
established planned

Leave space between sections. Thi nJ< of your resume as a work of art, not a crowded
house or crib sheet. Use wide margins to make information stand out.
Proofread to catch errors. Ensure that your resume is free of misspelllngs, typos,
errors in mechanics, and poor grammar, elements that might disqualify you from con
siderntion. AcrnraLy can make or break a resume. lf you routinely miss errors, ask a
knowledgeable friend to give your resume an objective reading.
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

PARTS OF A STANDARD RESUME

Resumes commonly contain the rollowing sections, usually in the order given. Categories
marked with an aste ris k ()are optional.

Name and Contact Information (do not use a heading)

*Objective/Career Profile
*Summary of Qualifications
Education
Experience
*Skill s and Capabilities
*Awards and Activit ies
*References

Alternative headings may also he used, depending on your Add of expertise:

Publications
Advanced Career Training
Licences and Accreditations
Language Proficiency/Foreign Languages
Presentations
Professional Affiliations/Memberships

You have some flexihility in how you arrange this infom1at.ion. Without distorti ng
facL~, you can shape your resume to relate your education, work experience, and personal
accomplishments to the needs of prospective employers. You can also emphasize your
most impressive selling point- for instance , specialized training, an advanced degree, or
strong work experience- by customizing the standard resume templates supplied by your
word -processing software. Simply vary the standard order and put important material
just aft.er the objective statement, where it commands the most attention. Your most
noteworthy qualificat.ion should come first. Any weaknesses can he de-emphasized hy
their placement.

Contact Information
No heading is needed for t.he con tact information section. Type your full name at t.he top
or the page, making it st.and out hy centring it and setting it in hold face; you could also set
it in a slightly larger point size. Below it, type yom pem1am:nt addres..- (and/or your local
campus addres..-), phone numher(s), e-mail address, and, if applicahle, your web add ress.
Your contact information has to he correct; I.he difference of one dibrit in a telephone num-
ber can cost you an interview, mayhe more.

First Name Last Name

Address until May 14, 2014 Address after May 14, 2014
Pitman Hall 52 Hawkswell Drive
160 Mutual Street OriIlia, ON
Ryerson University LV3 2J1
Toronto, ON M5B 2M2 (705)733-1 211
(416) 979-5000
 9 I COMMU NI CAT I NG FOR EMP LOYME N T ~

Career Objective
An optional section, your career objective is a short, assertive summary (containing one
to three lines or text) that i.dent.ifies your main qualifications and anticipated career path.
It helps you target a spedfic job by enabling you to match your qualifications with kEy
requirements. lf you decide to make your career objective part of your resume, you should
revise it for each new application. It will not help you unless i.t is relevant. Use descrip
tive phrases and minimal punctual.ion . Depending on your strategy, you can highlight the
position you desire, a professional goal, the type of field you want to work in, your main
qualifications, or a combination of all four.

To utilize my [qualifications] as a [posit.ion title]: To utilize my working knowledge of

maintenance techniques as a maintenance reliability supervisor.
[Position title]; Marketing position with opportunity for growth and development.
To [professional goal): To assist low-income families in finding housing and support
services.

Summary of Quallflcatlons/Proflle
As an alternative to the career objective section, a summary of your qualifications is a
high-impact statement that provides an overall picture of you and your qualifications as
they relate to the job you are applying for. This section, consisting of one or two sentences,
is usefol if your experi ence has been varied or accumulated over a ntm1ber of years.

Education
The education section- always of interest to employers-supplies info rmation about your
schooling and academic training, providing proor of your ability to do the job effectively.
You should list all undergraduate and graduate degrees, diplomas, and cert.Lficates you
have earned or are about to eam. Begin with your most recent o r most relevant degree.
Using commas to separate elements, li..~t the following details:

the degree, diploma, or certificate

academic honours (for any degree earned with distinction, rnagna cum laude, surnrna
cum laude, or wi.th high distinction, italicize or hracket thi..~ information)
the name of the institution tbat granted the degree
the locat.i.on of the school
your major field of study, concentration, or specialization
dates of attendance and/or date of graduation

Use the same style for every degree or diploma you list. Some job applicants also
choose to list courses they have taken that are relevant to a current application. lf you
decide t.o do this, you sboi1ld list courses hy short desc.1liptive title (not course code) and
organize them under a subheading such as "Courses Relat.ed to Major" or "Courses Related
to [position for which you are applying]." If you have an exceptionally high grade point
average (3.5 or better), you might want to mention it; otlierwise, wi.tlihold this infom1ation.

Work Experience
Information about work experience is key, especially for recent graduates new to the
job market. Employment history is given in reverse chronological order (heginning with
your present or most recent joh). Jn addition to listing full-time and part-time jobs, you
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

should include ullpaid johs, internships, volullteer work, and self-employment if these
work experiences contributed to your set of relevant skills. Provide only minimal details
of high-school johs, hut do indicate significant o r relevant johs concurrent with your post-
secondary studies. For each position, list the following:

joh title(s) (indicating promotions)

the company and its location (city and province)
dates or employment (includ ing month and year), sibrt1ifkant d uties, activities,
achievements, and promotions (t1se phrases introduced hy strong action verbs to
describe these details)

Use the present tense for the job you are in now; use the past tense for a job you
no longer hold. Because each description se rves as an advertisement for your skills, deal
in specifics rather than generaIi ties-quantifying accomplishments and activities-alld
incorporate dynamic verhs that help to portray you in a positive light and accent your
most impressive qualifications.

Vague: Responsible for direct-mailings.

Specific: Supervised over 40 direct-mail marketing campaigns.

lf there are gaps in your work history or frequent job changes, consider using a fom1at
that de-emphasizes employment dates. For example, you could place these dates after the
joh title rather than t.abt1lating them or setting them in boldface. In functional resumes,
work can be organized according to the type of work or skill rather than by positions held .

Skills and Capabilities

The skills section outlines the abilities and proficiencies that make you more employ
able. It gives you the opportuni ty to spotlight your technical training- your mastery of
computer programs, interfaces, applications, special communications skills, or operating
procedures for office equipment- as well as your fluency in foreign lallguages.

Experienced w ith e-mail, MS Word 2013, Excel 2013.

Proficient in PowerPoint, Internet research.
Keyboard 80 wpm accurately.
Trained in technical w riting, including proposals and documentation.
Fluent in French.

Awards/Honours and Activities

lf you are a recent graduate or are re-entering the workforce, you can benefit from includ-
ing an awards and activities section, reserved for academic awards and scholarships,
volunteer experiences, special projects, leadership positi.ons, professional mern hersbips,
and universi ty and communi ty service positions. This infom1ation shows you are a well-
round ed person, with commitment, initiative, team spi rit, or problem-solving ability. Such
qualities are important, especially when your interests or activities are relevant to the job.
lnclude the date or involvement ln an activity or the date of an award.

Personal Information
A resume is not the place for personal infom1ation. By law, employers are not allowed to
ask for personal inform ation relating to country of origin or religious affiliation . Human
 9 I COMMU NI CAT IN G FOR EMPLOYMENT

righl~ legislation protecl~ job applican ts from discrimination. Your resume should not
include detail~ ahout your age, marital status, or health.

References
As a job candidate you can wait unt.il a recruiter shows interest hefo re you give the names
o r references, since such information is not vital to securing an interview. Simply stating
"References will be supplied on request" should he sufficient, and it saves space on your
resume. The alternative is to prepare a separate reference list (entitled "Reference Sheet for
[Your Name!"), which can then he suhmitted to employers at the time of your interview.
However, if you do include references on your resi.1me, give each pe rson's full name and
title, professional affiliation or company, address, phone number, and e-mail add ress. List
this information in parallel form and put e-mail addresses in angle bracket~. Always con-
tact references in advance and ask pennission to use their names. Doing so wi ll ensure that
they are prepared to discuss your qualifications.

RESUME LENGTH
The debate over resume length is never-ending. Many companies insist on one page;
others find a two-page resume perrectly acceptahle. The general rule is to keep it to one
page as Long as there is enough white space and room for fom1atting to ensure that the
resume is readable and well balanced. Resumes that look crowded are hard to read. Recent
graduates can easily stay within the one-page Limit if they eliminate fille r and con.~olidate
headings; applicants with extensive work history and advanced training may require a
second page to represent thei r qualifications adequately. Before you elect 1.0 use a longer
resume, you may want to check the job adverti..~ement ror application instructions and
details on resume preferences.

RESUME STYLES AND LAYOUTS

There is a resume style to suit every applicant, from the rookie joh-seeker with little experi-
ence to the seasoned veteran with an armload o r honours and achievements. Because wTi t-
ing a resume allows for some flexihUity, you can choose a style that will help you look as
good on paper as you are in person. The most widely used resume styles are the chrono-
logical, the functional , and the combination. Each style has its own distinctive character,
ranging from the fairly conventional to the more innovative. Opt for a style that allows you
to showcase who you are as a potential employee and to project an image of yourself that
i..~ right for the company.

Chronological Resume
The chronological resume bas been popular with employers and recruiters for a long chronological res um~ a
time and is conside red the standard style. lt tells emplloyers what you have done pro- document In which aJob
appllcan~s work expllrlonco,
fessionalily and when you did it, organizing details in chronological order. lt presents education, and personal
infonnat.im1 under categories that recruiters have come to expect and can review quickly: achievements are presented In
"Objective," "Education," "Work Ex11erience," "Special Skills," "Honm1rs and Activities," reverse time sequence, with the
most recent exper1ence In each
and "References." The chronological style works well for applicants who have work
category listed Hrst.
experience in thei r field of employment and show sustained career growth and con tinu-
ity. Because it emphasizes the jobs you have held rat.her than the skills you possess, the
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
FIGURE 9 . 1
Chronologica l Resume
Statement emphasizes
professional goal In relation - - - +. OBJECTIVE
to the advertisement for the
position being sought
Places education first for
emphasis, as degrees and
diplomas of this young
candidate relate directly
to position being sought
Describes work experience, - -
quant1ftes specific achievements,
and uses action verbs
Mentions some skills
commonly requested
by employers
MITRA DAS
253 Elderwood Crescent
Brampton, ON NSL 2S9
(905) B62-5540
mdas@rogers.ca
To assist a fashion retail chain In providing superior customer service
while managing merchandise efficiently and maximizing store sales In
an entry-level management position
EDUCATION Ryerson University, Toronto, Ontario
Working toward a Bachelor of Commerce in Retail Management
Degree expected June 2014
Major courses: Managerial Accounting
Advanced Retail Management
Organizational Behaviour
Seneca College, Toronto, Ontario
Diploma in Fashion Merchandising (Co-op Education Program), 2012
Major courses: Fashion Retail Entrepreneurship
Retail Organizational Management
Retail Human Resources Management
.,.. EXPERIENCE Assistant Managar (part-time), Skylark Fashions, Vaughan, Ontario
May 2012 to present
Assisted in directing, training, and motivating store sales team of eight in
order to provide a high level of customer service and increase profits by
15 per cent
Improved Inventory-control procedures to reduce stock surpluses by
20 percent
Fashion Intern (work term), Shoe Depot Inc., Toronto, Ontario
January 2012 to March 2012
Assisted district manager in coordinating store programs and events
Created and managed seminars and team-building exercises to enhance
customer servi ce
Maintained and updated client mailing lists
Visual Merchandiser, Suzy Shier, Dufferin Mall, Toronto, Ontario
September 2011 to December 2011
Responsible for store signage, pricing, visual displays, and replenishing
stock
Sales Associate, Roots Canada Inc., Toronto, Ontario
May 2010 to September 201 0
Handled cash and credit transactions
Worked withs.ales team to deliver excellent customer service
SKILLS Proficient with MS Word, Excel, PowerPolnt, and Internet research
Superior time-management and organizational skills
 9 I COMMU NI CAT IN G FOR EMPLOYMENT

chronological style is less suited to younger applicants with limited experience. For any-
one with a negative or irregular work history, its arrangement by employment. dates has
the disadvantage of making gaps in employment more obvious.

Functional Resume
This skills-based resume style emphasizes wo rk-related skill~ and competencies rather
than work history. It markets relevant attributes and acc.omplishments and demonstrates
capahi.Hties that will he of value to the company. It works well for applicants who are
ahout to redirect their careers or for anyone who has limited work experience but untold
ability. The functional resume is a good choice for accenting skills gained through vol- functional resume a document
unteer experience. Its customizahle categories allow for greater nexihility: "Objective," In which a Job applicant's
qualifications are presented In
"Summary of Qualifications/Profile," "[Type of Work] Expe rience," "[Type oO Skills/Areas terms of notable achievements
of Expert ise," and "References." Skills can be arranged according to several types, bringing and abll~lcs rather than
to light h idden strengths. However, some recruiters may view the omission of a joh history work experience.
as a weakness.

Combination Resume
Th is cross her.ween the chronological and functional resume draws together the best of
each style. It highlights capabilities at the same time as it provides a complete record
of employment. Th is style works well for recent grad uates who may or may not have
experience hut do have the skills to gain employment. I.ts headings are borrowed from
chronolObrical and functional styles: "Objective," "Skill~ and Capabilities/S pecial Skills,"
"Experieu ce," "Education," "Honours and Activities," and "Refe rences." 13ecause a combin- combination resume a
ation resume is less traditional, it is a more risky choice for anyone applying for jobs in document that combines
characterlsncs of chronological and
traditional fields such as accounting, law, or hanking. The fo rmatting should he strategic functional res umos.
and meth odical so that I.he comhination of styles is 11ot confusing to readers.

cc The Corporation for National

and Community Service
recently found that people
who volunteer are 27 per
cent more likely to find a job
than those who don't (http://
www.natlonalservlce.gov/
Impact-our-nation/research
and-reports/volunteering
pathway-employment-report).
Volunteering can also help
job-5eekers expand their
network and learn about
job opportu nitIes within the
organlZlltlon(s) they assist.
Sourcoi 0 Bland_lmagos/IStock
 COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS
FIGURE 9 .2
Functional Resume
Includes profile statement
to summarize strengths
and capabllltles
Hlghllghts skills mentioned In
advertisement by listing them
first; uses strong action verbs
to describe achievements and
market capabllltles
Troy Ng
Reservations Agent (part-time), Medicine Hat Lodge, Medicine Hat, AB
January 2012 to March 2012
Front Desk Clerk, Red Liiy Lodge, Regina, SK
May 2011 to August 201 1
Sales Clerk, Hollnger Hardware, Regina, SK
Summers, 20<>8 to 2010
Troy Ng 109 Ludlow Avenue, Regina, SK S4M OA1
3065552241 (l'lome)
3065677783 (cell)
tjng@hotmalI.com
OBJECTIVE
Position as assistant manager of front desk operations with opportunity for growth and
development
PROFILE
- - ,.. College graduate with Global Tourism and Marketing Diploma and experience In the hotel
Industry
RELEVANT SKILLS AND QUALIFICATIO NS
Computer and Office Skills
Knowledge of Sabre, Fidelio, an d Opera
Proficient with Windows, Word, Acrobat, and emall applications
Keyboard 60 wpm with accuracy
Able to perform general office duties, Including photocopying, flllng, and faxing
Organluitlonal and Marketing Skills
Scheduled events and arranged catering plans for groups of up to 300
Provided concierge services to guests, Including tours of hotel facllttles
Prepared advertising copy for summer resort
Trained and supervised three desk clerks at Red Liiy Lodge
Responsible for Individual reservations through telephone and central reservation system
Communication Skllls
Demonstrated friendly and courteous telephone etiquette In answering guest Inquiries
regarding rates, special packages, and general Information
Performed test calls to competition and Global Reservation Centre
Polished speaking skllls by giving talks to class
Completed college communication courses with an A grade
Fluent In Japanese and Mandar,ln
Interpersonal Skills
Demonstrated ability to work Independently with mlnlmal supervision and to work
co-operatively In the Interest of better guest satisfaction
Assisted front desk manager In conducting teambulldlng activities
EDUCATION
Medicine Hat College, Medicine Hat, AB
Global Tourism and Marketing Diploma, 2012
Page2
RE LEVANT EXPERIENCE
Mentions experience last to de
~
emphasize limited work history
OTHER EXPERIENCE
 9 I COMMUN I CAT I NG FOR EMP LOYMENT

FIGURE 9 .3

KELLY MARACLE
Combinat ion Resu me
21 Rockycrest Drive
North Bay, ON Pl A 2H7
Home: (705) 495-9035 Cell: (705) 490-1166
E-mail: kjmaracle@gmall.com

Highlights skills named

SKILLS AND Type 90 wpm with accuracy 1 -
In advertisement
CAPABILITIES Take symbol shorthand at 80 wpm with accurate transcription
Produce effective legal documents In fast-paced environment
Experienced with MS Office and Internet
Comprehensive knowledge of legal procedures as they apply to the
commercial real estate business
Able to communicate In a professional manner with clients and lawyers
Experience reinforces skills
EXPERIENCE t..gal Assistant, Real Estate Group, Ball LU\ Sudbury, Ontario 1 - already described for Impact
May 2011 to August 2013 and emphasis
Performed clerical, administrative, and general office duties, Including
accounting, closing files, docketing, and billing
Ttanscrlbed and typed legal documents, confldentlal letters, and reports
In detail-oriented environment
Scheduled meetings and Initiated follow-up with clients

Office Assistant (parttlme), Horizon Realty, North Bay, Ontario

Summer2010
Routed and answered routine correspondence
Typed and proofread documents
Produced advertising copy and coordinated 15 mass mailings
Education emphasizes major
EDUCATION Seneca College, Toronto, Ontario courses relevant to the job
Diploma In Office Administration (Legal), 2011 applied for
Major courses Legal Procedures- Real Estate/Corporate
Legal Word Processing
Communications anci Machine Transcription
Spreadsheets
Mentions activities that show
AcnVlnES AND Volunteer, Dally Bread Food Bank, 2008- present leadership, achlevemen~ and
H ONOURS Student Council Representative, Seneca College, Fall 2010 community Involvement
Sliver Medallist, 400m Hurdles, OntarioJunior Track and Field
Championships, 2006

R ef!RHCH

References are available on KELLY MARACLE

a separate sheet to be left, 21 Rockycrest Drive
If required, afler Interview North Bay, ON Pl A 2H7
Home: (705) 4959035 Cell: (705) 490 1166
E-mail: kjmaracle@gmall.com

Professor Anya Giies Mr. Bii i Yan Mr. Jeff Ball, QC

Office Administration Program President Chief Partner
Seneca College Horizon Realty Ltd. Ball LLP
2581 Finch Avenue East 880 North Shore Avenue 80 Brady Street
Toronto, ON M3L 2E9 North Bay, ON Pl C 7R7 Sudbury, ON P3A 282
(416) 2508641 (705) 641 3328 (705) 5552948

.....-----~----~------~~--~--------------------~----J_
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
scannable resum' a paper or
electronic resum6 that Is prepared
for scanning through uncluttered
formatting and Inclus Ion of a
keywords section.
General Tips
1. Tell the truth. A resume is a legal document and purports to be the truth. It L~
fraudulent to lie on a resume and unethical to tell half-truths. Companies routinely
do background checks and can easily detect applicants engaging in these practices,
which are grounds for disqualification or, if discovered after hiring, dismissal. Resist
the temptation to in flate your academic honours, embellish your job titles, exaggerate
your accomplishments, or alter employment dates.
2. Keep your resum e up to date. Make sure your resume is fresh and re flects recent
accomplishments and current responsibilities and activities. When your dream job L.~
advertised, you want to be ready to seize the opportunity, so schedule regula r resume
updates. Last-minute efforts at revision can result in sloppy formatting and typos.
3. Create different versions of your resume. Have one that can he scanned into a
resume database and one that you can e-mail to company contacts. Keep in mind
that companies and recruiters often have specific preferences regarding the way your
resume should be transmitted.
4. Fine-tune your resume for each new application. Revise your career objective state-
ment to link it t.o the job for which you are currently applying.
5. Avoid gimmicks. Your resume should invite further reading hy looking well pre-
pared and professional but not necessarily flashy. Print your resume on good quality,
standard 81/l hy 11- inch white paper. Pale-coloured paper is also acceptable, hut save
your supply of Day-Glo paper for craft projecl~. Use enough white space to make
your resume easy to read, arud resist the temptation to decorate with dip art..
PREPARING A SCANNABLE RESUME
A scannahle resume is one that has high visibility in an electronic resume-tracki.ng sys-
tem or electronic resu me database. Unlike a traditional resume, which emphasizes action
verbs, a scannahle resume spotlights an applicants pertinent experience with keywords
that correspond t.o ones used to describe the ideal candidate in the job posting or adver-
tisement. Placed after the main heading of you r resume o r near t.he end and entitled
"Keywords," t.h L~ pool of up t.o fifty relevant, attention-getting words may include c:urrent
and previous job titles, job-specific professional jargon and its synonyms, titles of software
programs, marketable skills, and adjectives desc ribing interpersonal traits. Here are a
few examples:
accurate efficient planning ability
active experienced positive
adaptable flexible problem-solving
communication skills innovative productive
creative leadership results-oriented
customer-oriented motivated takes initiative
detail-oriented organizational skills willing to travel
AppHcanL~ \vith the highest percent.age of matches are identified as good candudates for
the job and stand the best chance of being interviewed.
 9 I COMMUN I CAT I NG FOR EMP LOYMENT

FIGURE 9 .4
CAM ERON TUCKER
158 Gardenvlew Blvd. Scannable, Computer-
Gander, NL A1V 2G5 Friendly Resume
Phone: 709-231 9976
Ema II: cameroo.tucker@sympatlco.ca

KEYWORDS
Public Relations. Marketing Communications. Event Marketing. Media Advertising. Sales
Promotion. Advertising Research. Visual Communication. Telemarketing. Advertising Sales.
MS Office Suite. Excel. Quark. Photoshop. Communication Skills. Organizational Skills.
Persuasive Presentation Skills. Biiinguai. Ontario College Diploma. Georgian College.

OBJECTIVE
Motivated, fastlearnlng lndlvldual seeks advertising/marketing position utilizing communication
and organlzatlonal skills.

EDUCATION
Georgian College, Barrie, ON
On ta rlo College Diploma In Advertising, 2012

RELEVANT COURSEWORK
Advertising Computer Appllcatlons
Professional Writing
Marketing on the Web
Copywrltlng
Media Planning Computer Applications

CAMERON TUCKER
158 Gardenvlew Blvd.
Gander, NL AlV 2G5
Phone: 7092319976
Emall: cameron.tucker@sympatlco.ca

Page2
EXPERIENCE
The Gander Beacon
June 2012 to present
PartTime Advertising Sales Representative
Represent the The Gander Beacon to assigned and potential advertisers.
Handle Incoming advertiser calls.
Increase advertising r,evenue and expand client base by 15% annually through cold calls and
outbound sales.
Provide clients with creative advertising solutions and Implement sales strategies for existing
clients.

PartTime Sales Associate

Greeted customers, demonstrated products, successfully served more than 50 customers dally.
Answered questions and solved customer problems.

SKILLS
Computer: Macintosh Appllcatlons, Microsoft Office, Web Publishing.
Interpersonal: Communicative, persuasive, team-oriented, fluent In English and French.
Able to follow through In fast-paced, deadline-driven environment.

FURTHER INFORMATION
References, university transcripts, and a portfolio of computer programs are available upon request.
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

A scan nahle resume must have a plain, crisp, uncluttered appearance to guarantee its
acceptance by electronic scanning systems that cannot hand le graphics and symbols. To
create a scannahle resume, adhere to these dos and don'ts:

DO
LL~t your name and address at the top of every page of your resume.
Use white space as your main formatting tool, leaving hlank lines around headings.
Use as many pages as necessary to list your skill~ and experience- in the absence of
other formatting tools, use p lenty of white space.
Inspect your resume for letters that overlap to reduce the chances your information
will be misread; i1se a font in which letters do not touch.
Send a crisp copy of your resume, preferably one printed on a laser printer.

DONT
Use horizontal or vertical !in.es.
Use hollow hullets.
Use italics, underlines, hoxes, colum ns, graphics, borders, or shading.
Use unusual fonts and type faces (instead use sans serif fonts such as Arial in ten- to
twelve-point size).
Print your resume on coloured or textured paper.
Fold, staple, or fax your resume.

Before you send your resume, it is a good idea to first find out if the recipient uses
scanning software. You may wish to prepare two versions of your resume- one traditional
and one computer-friendly- and ask if it is acceptable to send hoth.

PREPARING AN E-MAIL RESUME

Most companies now solicit resumes via e-mail as a way of cutting HR costs. However,
not every resume transmitr.ed by e-mail ends up in the right hands. There is always the
risk that recruiter inhoxes may he fl ooded by e-mails after a job is posted onJine or that
junk filters may keep resumes from reaching their destination. Here are a few tips to help
ensure your e-mailed resume isn't ib'llored or lost:

L Read application instructi1ms carefully. Some companies advertise positions online

but do not accept resumes via e-mail. If companies want the resume in plai n text,
they will usually specify "a plain-text document sent in the body of the message."
2. Attach a resum e or cover letter to your e-mail only when specifically requested.
Employers may delete e-mails with attached resumes rather than risk exposing their
computer systems to viruses hidden in att.achments. Unless you are ahsolut.dy ce rtain
the employer is using a compatible e-mail program, put your cover letter and resume
as text withi n the body of your e-mail message.
3. Use keywords. Your document may end up on a resume datahase essential to the
screerting process. Study keywords specific to the joh ad and your Add and incorpor-
ate ones that match your qualifications and background.
4. Include a cover letter. Send hoth your letter and resume in one e-mail message.
5. Make your subject line specific. If you are responding to an advertiseme nt or job
posting, put the job tit.le and/or refe rence number in the subject line of your message.
 9 I COMMU NI CAT I NG FOR EMP LOYME N T ~

Joshua Cheechoo
jcheechoo@sympatico.ca

CAREER PROFILE

eBusiness specialist with relevant degree and background in supply- chain

processes and website development and management.
Emphasis on IT and pharmaceutical industries.
Recent supervisory experience, with deve l oped interpersonal , decision-
making, and communication skills.
Strong capabilities in a Windows and online environment.
Fl uent in French.

EXPERIENCE

WEBULTIMA INC .
January 2013 to present
Surrey, BC
eMarketing Manager

Devel op strategy and execute demand generation programs using interactive

media and search engine marketing in order to maximize marketing objectives .
Plan and buy interactive and digital media, including Internet, Wireless,
iTV, etc .
Lead initial kickoff preparation on all new demand- generation projects.
Act as Account Manager, interfacing with tho c l ient as the singl e point
of contact.

MARKSON PHARMACEUTICALS
Jul y 2009 to December 20 12
Edmonton, AB
eBusinoss Deployment Special ist

Maximized e - ordering utilization between Markson Pharmaceuticals and its

pharmacy and retail sales, increasing sales by 15 per cent.
Served as outside trainer and resources provider for t he Ontario
marketplace, conducting over thirty seminars annually.
Devel oped POV documents on new tre nds.
Evaluated, built, and maintained relationships in the local and national
onl ine sal es and vendor community .

EDUCATION

Humber Col lege I nstitute of Advanced Learning

Toronto,ON
Bachelor of Applied Business - eBusiness, June 2009
Ma j or Courses : Management Support systems, estrategy, Marketing and oBusiness,
Information Technology Management

FIGURE 9 .5

Sample Plain-Text Resume

 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
cover letter (or appllcatlon
letter) a letter that accompanies
a resume to summarize aJob
applicant's quallflcanons and value
to a prospective employer.
6. Use formatting methods that make your resume more computer-friendly. You can
easily convert a resume fom1at.t.ed in MS Word tn plain text. Avoid fancy fonn;;itti ng (no
graphics, lines, italics, hullets, or special characters). When writing your resume, sim-
plify the editing work you wi LI have to do hy keeping your resume conversion-fiiendly:
DON'T
Use special characters (characters not on your keyboard).
Use a word -wrap feature (lines can end up wrapping at awkward spots).
Use ht1llets, italics, tmderlined text, graphics, slashes (e.g., "Supervisor/Admin istra-
tor") or page numhers (you have no way of knowing where page hreaks will fall).
Use non-proportional typefaces such as Times New Roman that have different widths
for different characters (instead use a fixed-\vidth typeface such as Courier that \viii
produce a true sixty-five-character line, as accepted by most e-mail probrram~).
Preparing a Persuasive Application Letter
An application letter-al~o called a cover letter- is essentially a sales letter. Its persua-
sion is aimed at advancing a candidate to the interview phase of the joh-screening process
and beyond. Usually no more than a page in length hut never skimpy, an application letter
introduces you t.o a prospective employer and helps to make a good fi rst impression. lt
offers a quick snapshot of your qualifications, introduci ng your resume and extracting key
information from it. A cover letter interprets raw data from your resume so readers may
het.ter und erstand how your s kills and experience fit the requirements of a specific joh.
An application letter can do what a resume on its own cannot: tell prospective employers
what you are prepared to do for their company and convince them that you are qualified
for the job. lts sales pitch highlights the benefits of hiring you as well as your inte rest in
the company. While not every application may require this kind of int.roduction, a cover
letter must he written accurately and skilfully. You have just a few paragraphs to grab the
readers attention and leave a strong impression- leaving no room for errors in grammar,
spelling, and typobrraphy that can easily elimi nate you from consideration.
A cover Jett.er should include three elements:
Opening- gets attention and clearly identifies the position for which you are applying
Body- builds in terest with a summary of your qualifications, as much as possible
matching your strengths to the requi rements of the job
Closing- asks fo r an intervi.ew and provides a contact numher
GENERAL TIPS FOR COVER LETIERS
1. Camouflage l , me, and mine. It is almost impossihle to write an application letter
\vithout using 1, hut some people worry that overusing first-person pronouns may
make them sound egotistical or boast.Fu!. To make I less noticeahle, avoid placing it at
the heginning of consecutive sentences. Vary your style hy occasionally emhedding l
in the middle of sentences. This practice has t.he added benefit of keeping your style
from hemming monotonous. By showing and interpreting what you have done rather
than praising your own efforts, you can convi nce the reader of the advantages your
employment can hring.
 9 I COMMU NI CAT IN G FOR EMPLOYMENT

2. Get the company name right. Because most companies seek employees who are
detail-oriented and efficient, small things (such as good typography and accurate
spelling) mean a lot to the success of a cover letter.
3. Use keywords from th e job ad or posting. Show that your skills are transferable and
relevant to the job you are applying for.
4. Use the same font that you used for your resume. This gives a unified look to your
application. Print on high-quality bond paper.
5. Avoid dense, overloaded paragraphs. Your letter should he designed for ease of
readability. Long paragraphs can bury your reason for writing, blur facts, and dimin
ish the strength of your qualifications. Shorter pmagraphs make your letter quick
to review.
6. Don't plead , apologi ze, or exaggerate. Desperation usiially weakens a mes
sage's persuasive impact, especially when employers are seeki ng positive and
self-c:onfldent personnel.
7. Avoid a cookie-cutter approach. A generic, multi-purpose letter is less likely to gain
interest, so wo rk from a bulleted list of your qualifications, achievements, and edu-
cational credentials to prepare a new cover letter targeted to each job opening. Make
your letter relevant to the job you are applying for, keeping in mind the requiremenL~
out!Lnecl by the employer in the job ad.
8. Strive for a tight, clear writing style. Use your letter to introduce yourself and iden-
tify your strongest selling points- no more than a page hut no less than half a page.
9. Keep a copy of your letter and a record of jobs you have applied for. Kee ping
track of your cover letters will help you remember where you've applied and what
skills you've highlighted.

SOLICITED APPLICATION LETIERS

How you capture attention at the beginning of your cover letter depends on whether the
position for which you are applying is solicited (an ad response) or unsolicited (a cold
call). When you know a company is hiring, you can respond to an advertisement by wri t
ing a solicited app lication letter. lts purpose L~ to ask for an interview, not for the actual solicited application letter a
job. By putting your interview request at the end- in line with the indirect approach- INter In which ajob-seeker applies
to an advertised posltlon and asks
you can first demonstrate and persuade screeners that your experience and preparation fill
For an lntorvlcw.
the requi rements of the job. The goal is to convince prospective employers that you are
not only quallfied for the job hut are better than other candidates.
Here are some tips for writing a solicited application letter:

1. Introductory paragraph: Gain attention. Name the specific job for which you are
applying and indicate where you learned about the job. Include job competition or
reference numbers to ensure your application ends up in the right hands. Clearly
st.ate t.hat you are applying for the job. There are several approaches that you can use
and combLne in order to do this and at the same time gain attention fo r your applica-
tion. Briefly show that you possess the major qualifications listed as requirements in
the posting.
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
FI GU RE 9 .6
Ineffective Solicited Letter
of Application (extract)
Does not clearly Identify the
job being sought or refer to
the resume
Description of work experlency
Is vague and does not specify
skil ls or educational crodentlals
Writer centred approach
reinforces what the company Is
supposedtodofortheappllcant,
not what the applicant can do ---i---'~ for the job you advertised, I could find time to meet with you to discuss my
for the company
This letter Is an application for a position that was advertised In yesterday's
careers section.
I have worked part-time for R.J. McCormack for a few months. I am looking for
., a full-time position, preferably as a senior legal assistant. I think you will agree
that my quallflcatlons are a good match forthe requirements of the job. I
have strong practical skills that will benefit your company. I wil l receive my
diploma soon.
I think this job was made for me. If you agree that I could be the right person
quallflcatlons. To arrange an Interview, just leave a message for me on my voice
mall, but try not to call early In the day.
Summary+ Request Opening
With five years' experience as an industrial designer, I would like to be considered for the
position of design team leader advertised by your company in the June 20 edition of The
Globe and Mail.
Shared Values/In terest in the Company Opening
A recent survey of the Cana.dian industrial sector ranked Weir Services first in the repair
and refurbishing of mechanical equipment. I am interested in joining the expert,
customer-focused Weir sales team because I share your company's belief in quality
and dependability. With a soon-to-be-completed degree in sales management and
two years' experience in industrial service sales, I am prepared to be an immediately
productive member of your sales team .
Request Opening
I wish to apply for the positi on of regional sales manager, as advertised in yesterday's
National Post (competition #4368). As the attached resume suggests, my experience
in fashion retail has prepared me for the challenging and dynamic work environment
offered by this position.
Name Opening
At the suggestion of Mr. Farouk Aziz of your Accounting Department, I submit my
qualifications for the position of human resources specialist posted on Workopolis.
2. Middle paragraphs: Show that you are qualified by relating your skills to what
the company requires. Usi ng action verbs (managed, desi!,'lled, organized, upgraded),
describe the skills, schooling, achievements, and experience that would m ake you
 9 I COMMUN I CAT IN G FOR EMPLOYMENT

FIGURE 9 .7

Effective Solicited Letter

62 Robin Street of Application
Toronto, ON M40 2P3
March 6, 2014
Ms. Patrizia Chernienko
Rossiter, Fleet, and Lee, LLP
1220 Yonge Street, Suite 230
Toronto, ON L4T 5S7

Dear Ms. Chern ienko:

Clearly ldentlfles the position
Subject: Legal Assistant Position (Ref. No. 68146) """' applied for
Witn a soon-to-be-completed diploma in legal office administration and high-level
Gains attention with a concise
skills, I wish to apply for the position of legal assistant, as advertised in the March ...,;1 ---1-- summary of quallflcatlons
5 edition of The Globe and Mail. As the enclosed resume suggests, my intensive
internsh ip training has given me the necessary practical experience to be immediately
productive in a prestigious legal firm such as Rossiter, Fleet, and Lee, LLP. Refers to accompanying resume

My courses in the legal office administration curriculum at Great Huron College

have provided me with background in all aspects of legal assistance, including legal
transcription, word processing, legal procedures (real estate), and spreadsheets.
Over six semesters I transcribed and processed more than 300 legal documents and
mastered the proofreading skills necessary to ensure the kind of accuracy Rossiter,
Fleet, and Lee would expect. Relates skills and background
to requirements of position,
During my six-month internship in the offices of R.J. McCormack, I learned to Incorporating keywords from
manage time effectively in a detail-oriented environment and to perform and the job ad and quantifying
achievements
prioritize office duties such as docketing and closing files while maintaining flexibility.
Assisting the chief legal assistant with additional duties, including the reorganization
of client files and overhaul of billing procedures, allowed me to demonstrate
my knowledge of office procedures and commitment to expediting the flow of
work within the firm. My recent internship experience and participation in school
organizations have helped me develop my ability to communicate in a professional
manner with clients and lawyers and build the interpersonal skills needed to work
effectively as part of a team.
Asks for action courteously and
After you have reviewed my resume for details of my qualifi cations, please call me provides Information necessary
at (9-05) 661 -9865 to arrange an interview at your convenience. I look forward to for follow up
discussing with you ways in which I can contribute to Rossiter, Fleet, and Lee, LLP.

Si ncerely,

Arvty Fuliovt
Amy Fulton

Enclosure
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
unsolicited application letter
(or job-prospecting letter)
a lmcr In which aJob-seeker
lntroducos hlmsalf or herself and
asks about )ob openings.
val uahle to the company. Rather than trying to mention everything you have done,
summ arize aspect. of your background that. will. help you get an interview. Emphasize
your strongest skills, especially the kinds that employers generally seek: the ahility to
communkate well, take responsihility, learn quickly, and work as part of a team. You
can use hullet style to highlight your qualifications and hring them to the forefront
quickly and easily. Give one or two examples that relate what you have done to the
ways you can henefit the company.
Three years as a sous-chef at Chez Tom taught me how to work under pressure and
maintain high standards of food presentation and menu selection on a limited budget.
Show what separates you from the other applicants-your course work, summer
jobs and internships, knowledge and experience gained from skills and leadership
huilding activities. Refer the reader to your resume; a good cover letter will make the
reader want t.o know more about you.
As you w ill notice from my resume, I hold a certificate in cosmetology from Pioneer
College.
Please refer to t he attached resume for a complete list of references.
3. Closing paragraph: Ask for action. A call for action takes the form of asking the
recruiter to call you to arrange an interview or tdling the empl oyer that you will take
the initiative to call. Your request should sound courteous, appreciative, and respect
ful. Make i.t easy for the reader t.o cont.act you by supplying a telephone number and,
if you are hard lo reach, suggesting the best time to call. Here are a few suggestions for
ending your letter:
I would like the opportunity to discuss my background and qualifications with you in a
personal interview. I look forward to hearing from you and to arranging a meeting in the
near future.
I hope that this brief summary of my qualifications and the additional information on
my resume indicate my interest in putting my skills to work for Goldcrest Investments.
At your convenience, please call me at (905) 881 9776 to arrange an interview so that we
may discuss the ways in which my experience can contribute to your company.
After you have examined the details on the attached resume, please call me to arrange
an interview at your convenience.
UNSOLICITED APPLICATION LETTERS
Unsolicited letters or application, also called job-prospecting letters, are wriuen on the
chance that employers may have an opening for someone with your skills and qualifica
tions in the foreseeable future even though no such position has been advertised. Writing
an unsolicited letter o r application can he more difficult because you do not have a list of
job requi rements on which t.o hase your pitch for employment. Ilecause there is no way to
predict that a tailor-made position \vith the company will ever materialize or if anyone will
even want to read your leuer, yo11.1 have the added challenge o r catching the reader's atten
tion right from the start and encouraging him or her to read on. Among the hest ways to
do this are the following:
 9 I COMMUN I CAT I NG FOR EMP LOYMENT

FIGURE 9 . 8

Dear Human Resources Director: Ineffective Unsolicited

Letter of Appl ication
Can you tell me when there might be an opening for an HRrecruiter llke me7 (ext ract)
I have read about your company and It sounds like an organization I would like
Does not demonstrate
to work for. I have many skills I feel you could use. In fact, hiring me would be knowledge of the company
good for your company. Falls to mention why job seeker
wants to work for th<! company
Shall I drop byyourofflce for an Interview sometime next week7
Tone falls to communicate
Warmest regards, t Interest and enthusiasm
Overly brief message leaves out
details about background and
quallflcatlon s, making a request
for a job without building
Interest In tne job seeker's
capabllltles

Salutation too general (If Closing question (and lack of

possible, research the name of contact/follow up Information)
the Individual to whom Inquiry makes It easy for hiring manager
should be sent); complimentary to say no
close too familiar

Show some enthusiasm.

Use the indirect approach (for persuasive messages).
Do research that enables you to demonstrate your inten:st in and knowledge of the com-
pany (the products it manufactures, the personnel it seeks, and the challenges it faces) .

From your letter, it should be clear why you want to work for the company, what you
are prepared to do for it, and how your assets and qualifications can bring benefits. An
unsolic:ited letter of application attempts to create an opportunity where it might not yet
exist, putting you in line for future consideration or inspiring the creation of a position
customized to your talents.

E-MAIL COVER LETIERS

Many employers and hiring managers now state a preference for e-mail resumes. You
can still introduce your onlin e resume wi.th a cover letter, usi ng the same strategy as for
a solicited application letter. The main difference is that an e-mail cover letter is briefer,
more like a cover note. An electronic cover letter, which may improve your chances of
ohtaining interviews more than a resume suhmitted alone will, is an essential component
of an online application. Using the same technical bruidelines as for your e-mail resume ,
you can lead off \vith your cover note and then nit and paste the text of your resume into
the body of your e-mail message.

Inclu de a specific and meaningful subject line. Instead of the generic "Resi1me,"
indicate that th is is your resume by making the subject line "Resume- [Your Name]."
Alternatively, identify the job you are applying for or highlight a key point of your
background. Use abbreviations so you can fit in a detail that \\Till motivate r.he read er
to open your e-mail.
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
FIGURE 9 .9
Effective Unsolicited Letter
of Application
Gains attention by
demonstrating knowledge of
and Interest In the company
Links potential emp loymont
needs to the job seeker's assets
and skills
Refers to resum~; relates
job seeker's accomplishments
to potential contributions
Takes Initiative for follow up
Rob Milton
11 5 Verity Drive
Dartmouth, NS B2W OH6
February 10, 2014
Mr. Bertie Kwinter
Director of Human Resources
Braintrust Solutions
240 Robie Street
Halifax, NS B3H 1M6
Dear Mr. Kwinter:
.,. In a recent article on Canada's top emerging growth companies, Profit Magazine
ranked Braintrust Solutions as number 1. As your company continues to attract new
clients with its innovative web-based workforce management software, you are likely
in need of experienced HR recruiters w ith strong networking skills and proven records
--i- of recruiting and resourcing ERP and J2EE consultants.
Here are three significant qualifications, summarized from the enclosed resume, that
I believe you will find of interest:
Five years of formal training in business administration and HR recruitment,
including a BA from Dalhousie University and a diploma in Business Administration
HR from Sheridan College, with specialized courses in strategic marketing,
recruitment and selection techniques, and negotiation strategies.
Four years of practical experience as a Recru itment Partner at JSM Software,
where my responsibilities included conducting initial meetings with managers,
developing and executing sourcing strategies, overseeing our reference and offer
processes, and conducting salary negotiations.
Strong networking skills and a knowledge of HR resources and applicant tracking
technology, with an ability to work and apply problem-solving skills in a fast-paced
environment.
- .,. At your convenience, I would like to have the opportunity to meet with you to discuss
how my track record and skills could be of value to your company. I will contact your
office next week to schedule an interview.
Sincerely,
Rob Milton
Enc.
 9 I COMMU NI CAT IN G FOR EMPLOYMENT

Keep it short and succinct. It may he a challenge to showca.~e all your significant
qualifications in a one-paragraph or hrief mul tiple-paragraph message, hut st.ri ve to
include your top two or three. Clearly identify the posit.ion for whkh you are apply-
ing and make an at.tempt at comm unicating your value t.o the employer. Remember to
ask for an interview.
Limit yourself to the characters on a standard keyboard. A no-rTilL~ approach
to formatting- no bullets, boldface, lines, or it.alics--helps to eliminate potential
glitches. Send the message to yourself to see how well it transmits hefore you suhmit
your document to an employer.

JOB APPLICATION ROUND-UP: SOME ADDITIONAL TIPS

1. Keep track of the companies to which you have applied. Conducting a job search
mea-11s you may be applying to many companies at once. Having to ask a prospective
employer what job you're interviewing for will make you seem disorganized.
2. Enslllre future contacts remain professional. Make sure your e-mail address and
voice-mail greeting are acceptahle hy professional standards. Maintaining an unusual
e-mail ad dress such as leggysupermodel@hotmail. com or greeting callers with an
outgoing voice-mail message such a~. "Hey, dudes, the beer's chillin'!" can he a career
limiting move. If necessary, open an e-mail account specifi cally for the purpose of
your job search (you can close it when your search i.s done). Using your work e-mail
address may alert your current employer to your desire for better prospects, not to
mention the fact that you are put.ting company resources to personal use.
3. Con.sider privacy and confid entiality. Be selective about where you post your
resume, sticking 1.0 sit.es that are password-protected and accessible only to legitimate
employers. To reduce the risk of identity theft, give only an initial and su rname and
limit Lnfom1ation t.o only those details an employer rightfully needs to know. Omit
your street address and phone number when posting your resume on the web.
4. En.sure your appli cation is delivered on time, in the appropriate way. Follow
instruct.ions and submit exactly what the ad vertisement asks for. Check for further
instructions on the company's employment opportunities web page if the posting
supplies the web address.

Career Portfolios and ePortfolios

A portfolio uses samples to showca.~e your best work as a professional and to provide
a representative overview of the kind of work that you do. Whereas a cover letter and
resume "tell" employers what you can do, a portfolio purposefully "shows" how you are
able to apply yo ur knowledge, values, and expertise in the products you create: bro-
chures, presentations, marketi ng materi als, papers, studies, project descriptions, reports,
etc. These materials are assembled in a three-ring hinder, organized with a table of con-
ten ts and separated by dividers. A portfolio may also include explanations or reflections
to help readers interpret and understand the purpose of each piece of work, as well as
the following:
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
Watch this video from Monkey See on the
value of using a career portfolio: http://
goo.gl/YFbtNg
job Interview a structured,
face to face conversation between
one or more recruiters and ajob
candidate, In which th<! latter's
quallOcatlons for a posltlon
and pot<!ntlal pcrformanc<!
arc assessed.
statement or career goals
summary or research projects (proposed, in-progress, or compl eted)
details of professional development activities
volunteering and community service
letter of recommendation
references 1
Digitized material. such as DVDs, can also he
included in a vinyl sleeve. As the purpose is to
persuade, the portfolio must be professionally
designed and free of typographical enors.
An ePortfolio or digital po rtfolio is a similar
collect.ion or infom1at.ion. evidence, and supporti ng
renections in electronic format (usually on the
Web) that demonstrates development, skills, and
competendes. 11 Many applications for post-gradu-
ate programs now require an ePortfolio. Creating
any kind of portfolio requires renection about its
content and how its evidence will persuade reade rs.
Job Interviews
A good cover letter, resume, and portfolio can open the door t.o a job interview, hut they
cannot ensure your success in the meeting. Being granted an interview is a sibrn of interest
and encouragement. lt is up to you to meet the employer or recruit.er face-to-face and talk
about the skills, experience, and other qualifications that make you right for the j ob.
BEFORE THE INTERVIEW
1. Prepare in order to minimize job interview anxiety. Do advance research on the
potential employe r and what the job entails. Spend an hour or so on the Internet gath-
ering int.elligence on the com pany and how it is doing. learn about company values
and goal~ from a quick review of the corporate mission statement or "About Us" syn
opsis. Foc."us on the department or division in which you are interested and learn about
its products, services, corporate structure, people, culture, awards, and customers.
Check out the wehsites and social media si tes of the companys competitors to gain an
understa11ding of the industry in general and the challenges each company faces.
2. Become familiar \vith your non-verbal communication habits. Presentation style
and appearance are important at interviews. Closed body language (the tendency
to cross your arms, for example) can send a message that you are cold o r nervous.
Fidgeting- nail-biting, hair-twisting, finge r-drumming, and knuckle-cracking- can
be a sign of nervousness that draws attention away from what you have to say, rob-
bing the interviewer of the chance to see your full potential. Be aware of your posture ,
facial expressions, and gestures so you can work on controlling them.
3. Dress for the job. Match your attire to I.he type and style of organizatiorn you are
applying to by dressing in a conservative manner, keeping jewellery to a minimum,
 9 I CO MM U NI C AT I N G FO R EM PLOY MEN T

and using perfume or cologne sparingly, if

at al l. Wear clothes that look p rofessional-
sligh tly more fonnal than what you would
wear on the job- hut comfortahle enough to
keep you from heing distracted and self-con-
scious so that you are free to devote your full
attention to the interview. A case in poin t: a
short ski rt may look fine when you are stand -
ing, hut it may he a source o r emharrassment
and conce rn when you sit down. The way you
d ress should show that you u nde rstand the
corporate culture. H you are interviewing fo r
an office joh, fo r example, wear a h usiness
suit. Also, don't forget that good groom ing and
pe rsonal hygiene are essential. A 2013 survey by
4. Anti cipate what ques tions you migh t be asked. Plan a response strategy and take CareerBullder.com asked
time to consider what your responses might be. Typical questions include (1) What employers the best colour to
skills will you bling to the company that will help us meet our goals? (2) Desclibe your skill~. wear on a job Interview. Blue,
which rep~esented being a
(J) Why should we hire you when other applicants might have better cred~?1tials or more team player, finished first
experience? (4) What attracted you to this po~ition at our company? (5) Can you &'1ve me while black, representing
examplr..~of where you have d1:mon.~trat1:d the c:ompet1:nd1:s you think will be key to per- leadership, finished second.
fo nning well in this job? Orange ranked last and was
associated with a lack of
5. Be prepared to talk about your experiences and how you handled prohlems.
professlonallsm (http://www
Reca ll work expe ri ences where you applied skills sim ilar t.o those required for the job .careerbullder.com/share/
you are interviewing for. Keep significant work achievements and proven successes in aboutus/p ressreleasesdetall
mind. You can prepare a scnpt I.hat covers information you may wan t to convey, hut .aspx7sd TI 1/21/2013&ld
do not memorize it if you wan t to sound spontaneous. pr791&edc l 2/31/2013).
Sourer. C> tomazl/iStock
6. Prepare several good ques tions to as k the interviewer. Use the infollTl ation you
have amassed to p repare insigh tful questions that will help you und erstand more
ahou t. the company. If your Internet search left a question unanswe red , plan t.o ask it
at t.he in tervi.ew. Job candidates are j udged in part on the questions they ask. Preparing
relevan t questions can make you appear wise , interested , and infollTled.
7. Prac tise. Rehearse what you can. Find out if your campus has in terview video-
record ing facilities where you can watch and assess your practice interview perform-
ance. Even recordi ng a mock interview can guide you to a better in te rview strategy.
Nervousness is namral- flgh t it hy remind ing you rseU of your enthusiasm for your
work and havi ng faith in your own sel r-worth. The more interviews you experience,
the easier intervi ewing fo r a job becomes and the less nervous you \vill be.

BEHAVIOURAL INTERVIEW QUESTIONS

AND HOW TO PREPARE FOR THEM
Behavioural interviewing in volves q ues tions that require interviewees to exp lain their
actions iii specific work situations. is The answers to these questions help interviewe rs
evaluate I.he candid ate in terms of d esirahle and otherwise hard-to-measu re qualities
and abilities such as adaptabi lity, prohlem-solving, team work, time management, results
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

achievemen t, goal-setting, leadership, assertiveness, creativity, initiative, decision-making,

and stress management. Here are some examples of hehavioural qm:stions:

Give an example of a time when you had to solve a challenging problem. How did you
respond to that challenge? (prohlem-solving)

Describe a situation where you had many projects due at the same t ime. (time
management and stress management)

Give an example of a time when your organizational skills really paid off. (organizational
skills)

Give an example of a time when you had to persuade other people to take action.
(leade rship)

Tell me about a time when you were part of a team and one of its members wasn't pulling
his or her weight. (teamwork and collahorative skills)

Give an example of a project you initiated. (creativity)

How do you normally go about achieving an assigned

task? (achieving results)

Use the STARS technique to develop yoitr

For more tips on interviews, read
Jacquelyn Smith's "How to Ace the 50
Most Common Interview Questions":
http://goo.gi/UiGiOO
response. Focus on outlining the situation, noting
the tasks you had to perform, explaining the actions
you took, stating the results, and classifyi ng and
reflecting on the skills you used. 10 As you prepare
for your interview, select three or more examples of
si tuations that you feel you handled weU and that
interviewers may have an interest in based on the
competencies and skills required for the joh.

AT THE INTERVIEW
1. Arrive on time or a little early. Consult digit.al maps on company sites or Google
Maps or use a GPS to learn the interview's location. Ileing late creates a had impression
and inconveniences the people who have the power to hire you.
2. Go alone. Although you may think you need moral support, leave family and friends
at home. Unless you require physical assistance, you might hecome distracted or
seem less confident if you hri ng someone else along.
3. Bring an extra copy of your resume and a reference list. The interviewer will have
your resume on hand at the meeting, but bring a copy for your own refe rence and your
portfolio. Avoid rattling or rumpling the documents. Be prepared to produce a writing
sample during the interview a.~ on-the-spot proof of your comm unication skills.
4. Mind your manners. Be co11tgenial and courteous to everyone you meet hefore, d ur-
ing, and after the interview. From the time you ente r the building until the time you
leave, your conduct may he under scruti ny, so focus on heing the best you can he.
5. Make a poised and confiden t first impression. Greet intervi.ewers with a fi rm but
not crushing handshake. Extend your hand, make eye contact, and introd uce yourself:
 9 I COMMU NI CAT IN G FOR EMPLOYMENT

I'm pleased to meet you, Ms. Radho. I'm (your name]. Smile in a gen uine, unrorced way.
Be seated when a chair is offered t.o you, and make sure that any small talk makes
sens-e and avoids controversial subjects.
6. listen carefully to the interviewer's questions, and don't interrupt. You are not
just telling the interviewe r about yourself; you are taking part in a two-way dia-
logu.e-a j ob-specific conversation that requires you to use active listening skills. Let
the inte rviewer finish asking a question before you begi n.
7. Use correct English . Answer by expressing your thoughts as clearly as you can ,
using a pleasant tone and correct diction and grammar-and no slang or mumbling.
Maintain good hut not unnerving eye cont.act and speak in a well-modulated voice,
with as few uhms, ahems, yups, and ahs as possible. Try to project some life into your
voice and avoid sim ple yes/no or one-word answers that might suggest you have little
to say or have clammed up from nerves. The way you speak is evidence o r your ability
to communicate, deal with people, and build rapport.
8. Concentrate. Remember r.he interviewer's name and be attentive rather than
appearing as though you are bored by the proceedings. Your body language should
show interest.
9. Avoid being negative. Remember that you are trying to show that you are bright,
energetic, and capable. lt is best to avoid negative comments about yourself and
others, especially fom1er employers, supervisors, and colleagues. Interviewers might
assume from such remarks that you are a difficult employee with poor in terpersonal
skill s. Keep your responses positive and informative and you r mindset relaxed
and focused.
10. Make i11telligent use of your research. Without showi ng off about I.he homework
you have done, demonstrate I.hat you understand the busi ness and its challenges by
slipping relevant tidbits into the conversation. Make sure your comments flt the con-
text. Show that you are knowledgeable and interested in the company.
11. Don't obsess over salary or benefits. An interview is not the place for excessive and
uneq uivocal demands. Ask for information you require on these top ics, hut put your
emphasis on what you can do for the company, not what. you expect. it to do for yoi1.
12. Don't expect an immediate response. Avoid ending the interview by asking if you
got ~.he j ob. Most companies want to interview all candidates and review their resu-
mes before making a flnal decision. You can ask the interviewer when you might
expect a decision. Be sure to show courtesy by thanking the interviewer.

AFTER THE INTERVIEW

1. Follow up \vi th a letter. Within 24 hours o r the in terview, write a hrid, personalized
letter thanking the interviewer (follow-up lette rs are discussed in the next section).
2. Consider your options carefully. Don't rush into accepting a job if you feel it is a
bad fit for you and the employer. Express appreciation for the offer, then ask for a day
or two to decide: I'd like a little time to rnmider your riffer. May I call you back tomorrow?
lf you must decline the offer (because it does not offer the salary, benefits, and advan-
cement opportunities you want or because o r other reasons), tum it down tactfully.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
follow-up letter an lnfonnatlve
letter that summa ~s the key
points of aJob lnt~rvlcw.
Follow-Up Employment Messages
FOLLOW-UP LETTER
A follow-up letter can he sent if, within a reasonable t.ime, you have not received a
response to your resume o r have not heard from an employer following an interview. lt
lets t.he employer know you are still interested in tbe position and serious ahout working
for the company. You can also use it to jog the employer's memory and give a quick recap
o r your selling points, hut do not rehash your entire resu me. Brieny indicate the date you
interviewed or first contacted tbe company and emphasize why you are interested in the
position/company. lnquire iI additional information is required or provide an update with
new information .
THANK-YOU LETTER
A thank-you leu.er shows good manners and is typically sent \vithin 24 hours of an inter-
view. lt expresses appreciation to the interviewer for his or her time and the courtesy that
was extended to you. By restating your interest in t.he position and your hon est enthusi-
asm for the company, a thank-you letter can help you st.and out from other applicants,
especially those who may not bother to write. Begin by referring to the interview date and
the exact posit.ion you interviewed for. You can personalize your message hy mentioning
anyth ing that led you t.o believe you would fit t.he posit.ion well- a job-related topic that
was of particular interest to you and I.he interviewer during your conversation or a skill or
qualification that. the interviewer was especially interested in. It is usually most appropri -
ate to send a thank-you message via e-mail; you could also choose to send a printed letter
via standard mail if you think your prospective employer would appreciate the formality.
Remember to send thank-you messages to anyone who has provided a reference for you.
JOB-OFFER ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
An acknowledgement should he sent immediately on receipt of an offer, especially if you
require ti.me to make your decision. Ilrie fly state the title of the job and salary, exp ress your
thanks for the offer, and reiterate your in terest in the company. Jndicat.e the dat.e hy which
you will make your decision.
JOB-ACCEPTANCE LETTER
It is a good idea to put your acceptance in writing. Restate t.he title of the position, salary,
and starting date, and clari fy details or special conditions. If the employer has sent you
forms to complete, indicate that they are enclosed. End hy expressing appreciation and
conJi nning your accept.ance of the offer.
JOB-REFUSAL LETTER
Politely decline the posi ti on, thanking the employer for the offer and the organiza-
tions interest in you. Being courteous keeps goodwill intact and ensures that future joh
opportunities-fo r you and fel low graduates of your school- will not be adversely affocted .
 9 I CO MM U N I C AT I N G FO R EM PLOY MEN T

REFERENCE-REQUEST LETIER
Always ch oose your referees with care from among people who have had sufficient oppor-
tunity to evaluate your academic, professional, or volun teer work. Seek out i nd ividual~
who thin k well o f you and can speak knowledgeably abo ut your skills and capabilities. If
you sense someone's hesitation to act as your refe rence, m ove on and ask another person
who is more willing. Ile sure to ask fo r permission before you list anyone as a refe rence. Jn
your request, be sure to d o 1.h e following:

mention the job for which you are applyi ng, iL~ requirements, and the d eadllne for
applications
upd ate I.he reader on sii:,111ificant recent accomplishm ents
review good experiences the referee might rememher you by
include a copy of your resume

D Name and Address: Does your resume supply adequate contact information, incl uding
a dayti me telephone number and a campus and/or permanent address?
O Objective: Does your resume include an employment objective? Does the objective
match the position you are applying for?
O Education: Are details of your education arranged in pa rallel form?
O Experience: Does your work experience start with your present or most recent
employment? Do you use action verbs, specific details, and parallel form to descri be
your duties, activities, and achievements? Does your resume show how you contributed
to the workplace during previous employment? Is information about your work
experi ence arranged strategically to show you are a reliable employee with a steady
work history?
O Skill:s and Activities: Does the resume include a section that descri bes your skills? Does
it emphasize your mastery of software and computer applications?
0 Overall Content: Do its skill headings and statements help to present you as well
qualified ? Is the content shaped to target a specific job?
D Format: Does your document look well balanced and tidy? Is the spacing attractive? Is
the tabulated indentation consistent? Is the format consistent throughout? Does the
resume invite someone to read it? Does it fit on one or two pages?
D Accuracy: Is your resume free of typographical errors, faulty punctuation, misspelled
words, and incorrect capitalization? Has it been proofread by someone who gave you
constructive feedback? Will it be submitted to the employer according to instructions
posted in the advertisement or on the job site?
0 Persuasive ness: Is your product persuasive? Does it market your skills and qualifications
to HR personnel? Does it accentuate positives and de-emphasize or eliminate negatives?
Does it convince a prospective employer that you can make a strong contribution?
0 Edge Factor: Will your resume stand out against the competition? Do its design and
content give it an advantage?
COMMUNICATING FOR RESULTS

Cover Letter
Opening
0 Does the letter gain attention and dearly identify the position for which you are
applying?
O Is it free of diched, overworked expressions?
O Does it give a brief summary describing how your qualifications fit the job
requirements?

Body
0 Does the letter build interest by showing how your experience and preparation filll the
requirements of the job?
O Does it emphasize reader benefits and give a brief summation of your selling points?
D Does it provide examples of your accomplishments and quantify them?
O Do action verbs accurately describe your skills?
0 Does it refer the reader to your resume?
0 Does it vary sentence structure to reduce the dominance of n
Closing
0 Does it ask for an interview? Does it supply contact information that will make it easy for
the employer to reach you?
O Does it briefly recap your main qualifications and link them to contributions you could
make to the company?
0 Does it include a forward-looking remark or mention how you will follow up?
D Does it end courteously?

Overall
D Is the letter brief enough to retain the reader's attention (not less than two paragraphs
and not more than one substantial page)?
D Is it free of typographical errors as well as errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation?
D Is it addressed correctly to the appropriate person or department?
0 Is its layout neat and balanced?
O Is its tone pleasant, positive, and professional?
D Does the typography match that of the resume in order to unify the package?
 9 I COMMUN I CAT I NG FOR EMP LOYMENT

[ WORKSHOPS AND DISCUSSION f'ORUMS

1. lden,tify Keywords. From a newspaper caree rs page
or on line joh hank , select an advertisement for a job
you are or will soon he qualified for. Photocopy the
ad or print it out. Make a list of its keywords and
place an asterisk (*) heside r.he skills you possess.
Are you c.1.men tly missing skills that would make you
more employahle?
2. Prepare a Professional Data Record. Eval uate yom
qualifications hy compiling personal data relating to
youi: education , work experien ce, skills, activities,
awards, and references. Use action-oriented words to
descTihe you r skills and accomplishments.
3. Research Employment Prospects. Using lihrary resour-
ces or the Internet, compile a list of five companies
that might present promising prospects for ernploy-
men t. Record hasic con tact information and instruc-
tions on how r.o apply. Take note of infom1ation (ahou.t
corporate l'l.llture, size of the company, etc.) that might
he U..'\ed in a prospecting letter or help you compile a
li..'it of questions to ask at an in fmmational interview.
4. Revi se a Resum e. The resume on page 305 con-
tains numero us faults. Analyze its strengths and
weaknesses and su ggest how it could he improved.
Working in groups of three or four, collaborate on a
revision that will h elp Nadia Salerno obtain an inter-
view based on the qualifications she lists.
S. Create a Chronological Resume. Using the data you
developed in activity 2, create a standard chrono-
logical resume.
6. Create a Scannable Resume. Take your c u rrent
resume and use its information to prepare a scan-
nable resume.
7. Create an E-mail Resume. Follow the ins tructions
given in "Preparing an E- mail Resume" (page 286- 8)
to p repare to transmit your resume b y e-mail or
online posting. Send messages co ntaini ng your
resume to yourself and your instructor.
8. Revise Application Letters. Working in groups of
three or four, analyze the following application let-
ters. How coul d their tone, profession alism , and
overall expression he improved?
a) What op inion do you form from readi ng the
following extract from this applicant's letter?
Collaborate on a revision that is less I-cent.red.

I respectfully submit my strong appllcatlon for the position of regional sales man-
ager. I have attached my resum~. I have a great deal of experience In the fashion
retail Industry. I believe this position Is taller-made to my conslderable skills and
talents. I am more than ready to meet the challenges of this position. I believe
I have earned the opportunity to work for a prestigious and well-respected
employer such as Bryant McKay.

I hold a degree In business administration from Western University, where I

was an outstanding student. I completed all of my marketing courses with top
honours. I am now a great salesperson. My communication skills are much bet-
ter than those of my peers. I take pride In my ability to work well with others In
a managerlal capacity. Although I do not have any public-relations experience,
I am a quick learner and should be able to master core public-relations skiIls In
no time. My only regret In my short career Is that my previous employers did not
value the tremendous contributions I made to their organizations.

It would be a shame If you were to miss out on the opportunity to hire me. I look
forward to Interviewing with you and to the posslblllty of earning $100,000 a year
with your company.
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

b) What impression does I.he rollowing letter make?

How could it be improved? list and correct its
faults and errors.

Please be advised that this Is an application for the job that was advertised
recently. Although I have just part-time experience, I feel I could be the Independ-
ent sales representative your looking for.

I will graduate soon. I am sure you will recanlze that my education qualifies me for
this job. My communication skills are real good and people say I get along with
them real well.

Please telephone me and let me know when I should come In for an Interview.
Will I need to fill out an application7

9. Write Cover Letters. Using details from your resume,
write sol.k ited (ad-response) and imsolidted (pros
pecting) letters of application based on the following
instruct.ions.
a) From the classified section of a daily newspaper
or an Internet job site, select an advertisement for
a job rdated to your current traini ng and studies.
Write an application letter hased on your qualifl
cations to date.
b) From the list or companies you prospected in
activity 3, select the one you are most interested
in and write an unsolicited letter.
10. Practise Interview Role-Playing. Working in pairs
or in groups of four, simulate the interview process.
On e person should play the role of the interviewer
and another should take the role of the applicant
while the other two memhers of the group evalu
ate the applicant~ perfom1ance. Repeat the process
until everyone has had a chance to be the applicant.
Arterward, discuss the strengths and weaknesses or
each applicant's int.ervie\ving skills.
11. Compose a Thank-You Letter. After completing I.he
interview role-playing workshop (activity 10), write
a letter of appreciation to the interviewer. Exchange
letters and discuss what makes a thank-you letter
most effective.
 9 I COMMUN I CAT I NG FOR EMP LOYMENT

NADIA SALERNO

54 Big Nickel Lane 247 Dunlop Street

Sudbury, ON Toronto, ON
P5K 1H7 M9A2M1

(706) 555-9841 (416) 555-554

E-mail: soccerglrl@hotmall.com

CAREER OBJECTIVE Work In child daycare facility

EXPERIENCE ECO Assistant, Childcare Connection, Toronto, Ontario

May 2009 to present
Play music for children.
Write dally evaluations.
Take care of children.

ECO Assistant, (part-time), Play Well Daycare, Toronto

ECO Assistant (Internship), Kids First Nursery, Toronto

September 2010 to May 2011

HONOURS AND I enjoy playing soccer.

ACTIVITIES

EDUCATION

Humber College, Toronto, Ontario

Montessori Certificate

Seneca College, Toronto, Ontario

Diploma In Early Childhood Education, June 2011

Royal Conservatory of Music, Toronto, Ontario

ARTC (Plano), 2010
 COMMUN I CATING FOR RESULTS
WRITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES
1. Objective Statements. From a job site or Lhe careers
pages of a newspaper, select three advertisements for
johs that dosely match your qualffi caLions. For each
one, wrile a one to three-lin e objective stalement
targeted lo the position.
2. Action Verbs for Resumes. Rewrite the foll owing
descriptions of significant work duties and accom-
plishments in appropriate resume style. Ehmmate
personal pronouns, begin points with strong and
specific action verbs, make points concise, apply
parallel structure , and quantify accomp lishments
where possible.
a) Adm inistrative Assistan t Position:
I was responsible for the reorganization of
procedures and implementation of cost-
containment policies. I also monitored the
production of all printed materials and ordered
supplies and maintained on- and off-site
inventories. I also did many mass mailings.
b) Sales Manager/Production Assistant Posiuon:
I did a study of automobile accessory needs of
fifty car dealerships in Victoria. I was responsible
for marketing and sales for a manufacturer of
automobile accessories. I also developed new
accounts and maintained existing customers. I
headed a sales team that generated orders for sales
of $3 million annually. In this capacity, I monitored
and trained a sales staff of seven to augment a high
standard of service and increase profitability. I also
travel to off-road functions to promote products.
3. Descriptive, Action-Oriented Language for Resumes.
Improve the following job descriptions b y usmg
more precise, action-oriented lanbTUage.
a) Gave advice to sales staff on meeting monthly
sales quotas.
b) Did all bookkeepi ng runct.ions, including internal
audits, once a mo nth.
c) Talked with regular clients all the time to do tech
nical support.
d) Did a study of cost- benefit to bring about the
updating of PC.s to make network mtegrauon for
two hundred users a lot better.
e) Got together a team to train staff in new safety
procedures.
4. Letter of Application . Using information rrom Mitra
Das's resume (Pigure 9.1, page 280) , write a cove r
letter that answers the advertisement on page :107
 9 I COMMUN I CAT I NG FOR EMP LOYMENT

Redferns Limited

Area Sales Manager

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Style. Sophistication. Elegance. It Is what you expect from Red ferns, one of
Canada's leading fashion and lifestyle retailers.

This position will assist the store manager by providing team direction to ensure
the execution and achievement of corporate initiatives, projected sales goals, and
exceptional customer-service levels.

Responslbllltles:

Demonstrate visible leadership.

Achieve targeted department sales goals through selling the Redferns way.

Provide supervision, coaching/training, and mentoring to team members

and participate In performance assessment of sales staff.

Develop and maintain a high level of product knowledge pertaining

to merchandise.

Ensure ongoing department cllentele development.

Maintain high standards of accountability for department operation,

budgets, and shortage control.

Control and monitor proper stock-to-sales ratio.

Follow all health-and-safety guidelines.

Required skills:

Supervisory/management experience

Strong demonstration of leadership skills

Excellent organizational and follow-up skills

Positive attitude

A career with Redferns is one of the most exciting opportunities In Canadian

retai l and Includes a comprehensive benefits package.

Interested candidates are Invited to submit their resumes to careers@

red ferns.com.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
r
1... ONLINE ACTIVITIES
1. Complete Online Career Tests. For various online
career tests, check out Job Star Cen tral. lts "What Do
I Want?" section features three tests, lncluding the
"Keirsey Temperament Sorter."
http://johstar.org!tools/career/career.php
2. Research Companies Online. What can you flnd out
about a company through its website? Visit the fol-
lowing corporate sites and prepare a brief fact sheet
on each. What distinguishes t.be companies in tem1s
o f size, corporate culture, products, etc.?
Blackberry http://ca.blackberry.com/
Bombardier www.bnmbardier.com
Sch neider Foods www.schneiders.ca
Sobeys www.sobeys.cmn
3. Build a Network of CarHr and Industry Professionals.
Set up a Twitter account and find pundits, commen-
tators, organizations, and top business profession
als 1.0 follow based on your existing knowledge of a
specific industry. Click m1 the "Who to Follow" tah
to find out who the people you follow are followi ng.
Start building relationships by retweeting the best
tweets or writing to the authors. Set up a linked ln
profile and use the "Advanced Search" option to find
people, using keywords such as the name of your
industry, geogrnphk location, or job title. Find at
least 10 to 12 people relevant to your career or stud-
ies to follow or connect with. Share the insights you
gain with your class members.
h ttps://twitter.corn/
www.linkedln.com
4. Rate Your Resume. Try this quiz from Proven Resumes.
com and find out if you r resume measures u p by
evaluati ng all its facets on a scale of 1 to 5.
www.prnven resumes.com/quiz.htrnl
S. eResume Tutorial. Visit the followin g site, which
aUows you to view a sample resume as you complete
the tutorial. Gain practice in listing joh titles and
responsibilities, choosing an appropriate resume for-
mat, and creati ng a keyword summary.
htt.p://eresumes.com/eresum es_practi ce.html
6. Government of Canada Training and Careers Online
Resume Builder. Click on "Resume Builder" and cre-
ate a user account to create resumes for your pe rsonal
use or to apply on line for federal government jobs.
www.jobbank.gc.ca
 'Hu .. 1v

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LEARNING OBJECTIVES

1. Identify the characteristics of an effective 5. Organize reports according to their purposes

business report. and apply Informative headings.
2. Differentiate between Informal and formal 6. Identify steps In the report-writing process.
reports and between Informational and
7. Create meaningful and Interesting graphics.
analytical reports.
8. Describe types of reports according to their
3. Identify standard report formats.
purpose.
4. Apply direct and Indirect writing plans.
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
business report a document
In Which factual Information Is
complied and organized for a
specific purpose and audience.
IN 2010, TD Bank Financial Group broke from the tradition of hard-copy annual reports-
multl-page documents normally malled to Investors or posted onllne In PDF format-to
launch an onllne version that lncliuded YouTube videos, social sharing tools, and links to the
bank's Facebook and Twitter accounts (see www.td.com/annual-report/ar201 O/lndex.jsp).1
As public communication, an annual report can educate and attract Investors, potential busi-
ness partners, and prospective employees.2 TD's onllne report leveraged various platforms to
break new ground and to make corporate reporting an opportunity for Interaction, engage-
ment, and a more personal and customizable experience for shareholders, one where the
CEO can be seen explaining the company's activities and putting a face and a voice to the
banking brand. Though quite different from the reports explored In this chapter, this pion-
eering effort could become common practice In business reporting.
Introduction to Report Writing
A business report is an essent.ial rom1 of corporate comm unication that helps managers
and co-workers stay infom1ed, review opinions, plan for the future, and make decisions.
The larger an organizat.ion is, 1.he more essential reports are to its successru l operat.ion and
management. Reports help departments to coordinate injtiatives and activities and help
managers stay in touch with and on top of changing circumstances. These documents let
managemen t see the hig picture so they can respond quickly and decisively to minor per-
sonnel, business, and technical cliffiL'l.1lties before they become major problems. Over the
years, a company's reports form an extended and permanent corporate journal that tracks
trends and includes accounts o r incidents, actions, decisions, results, standards, policies,
and interactions with employees, outside stakeholders, and the public.
Written with clear objectives in mind and designed for specific audiences, reports are
based on reli able facts and evidence, always separating verifiable fact from opi11ion and
substantiating any view that is expressed. Because t.hey are legal documents that can he
used as evidence in court, t.hey must he accurate, complete, and objective, weighing hot.h
sides of an issue and demonstrating careful att.ention to detail. They play a major role in
the day-to-day functioning of an organization and, as a result, must he clear, easy to read,
and concise.
Factors in Successful Reports
The quality of a report and its effectiveness depend on three things that you, as a writer,
need to control: content, clarity, and skimmability.
CONTENT
Write with your aims, objectives, and main message in mind.
Weigh information according to what is going to he done with the report and what its
future use will be.
Include information the rt:ader needs for act.ion-taking and decision-making by
extracting pertinent facts from reams of raw data and analyzing/interpreting those
facts so that they make sense to readers and relate clearly to the problem you are
solvi ng, I.he question you art: answering, and the conclusions you are drawing. Never
manipulate your facts and find ings to arrive at a predetem1ined conclusion.
 10 I IN FO RMAL REPORT S

Take readers' needs into account when selecting informal.ion and con.~ider the back-
ground infom1at.ion readers may or may not already have.
Help readers understand report information by organizing it in a logical way (e.g.,
chronologically, hy level o r importance, or hy relevant categories).

CLARITY
Apply principles of good English- write in simple, straightforward, tightly con-
structed sentences with correct brrammar, punctuation, and spelling.
Guide the reader thr01.1gh your discussion- use overviews t.o forecast what you will
discuss, use transitions to show how your discussion is continuing or changing, add
headings o r various levels to help readers find inrom1at.ion, and use topic sentences to
announce what each paragraph is about.
Use text citations selectively; give fomial credit
to the sources you use or quote.
Include vL~ual elements that are explanatory,
show the significance of yom facts, match
your ohjectives, and help the reader make an Read Harvard Business Review's 'Tips
informed decision; introduce and lahel each on Writing"for more on content, clarity,
vist.ial you use. and skimmability: http://goo.gl/sxXrru
Ensure facts are introduced in the right place
hy editing your draft and deleting extraneous
material.
Use consistent evaluation crite ria when you
weigh options and draw conclusions.

SKIMMABILITY
Select a readable font to reduce eye strain and lessen reading time.
Use informative headings and lists to group similar data together, sibrnpost significant
facts, emphasize the main ideas, and show where your analysis is leading.
Use white or neutral space effectively.

Reports should he reader-centred and user-rriendly. For this reason, although reports
usually follow standard formats, i.t is really the content and your readers' needs that shape
the structure. Your ability to write good reports, hy analyzing the writing situation and
applying hasic techniques, can wi n you favourahle notice and increase your chances of
promotion. This chapter discusses ways to give im pact and professional polish to your
informal reports.

Informal vs. Formal Reports

Depending on their complexity and depth, reports are temied either informal or formal.
An infonnal report is usually under ten pages and often imder one or two. lts style is Informal report a report using
relatively casual, making it acceptable to use a personal tone and the occasional personal a letter or memo format, usually
ranging from a few paragraphs to
pronoun or contraction. Typically, it L~ written as a letter or memo divided into suhsection.~ ten pages In length.
that are m arked off hy headings and, when required, subheadings. The informal report is
the most routine of all reports and the type you will have to write most often.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

TABLE 10.1 Informal vs. Formal Reports: Quick Reference Chart

INFORMAL FORMAL

Distribution usually internal external or for superiors internally

Style and Tone some contractions no contractions
personal tone and language impersonal tone and language
Length usually short usually long
Structure less structured more highly structured
several sections multiple sections and subsections

Transmittal optional memo (internal) or letter (external)

Title in subject line on separate title page
Table of Contents none on separate page for any report over five pages
Summary within report (no heading) on separate page

Introduction first section (no heading) on separate page with heading

Visual Aids used infrequently used extensively

formal report a business
documcnl of ten or mompages
based on extensive research and
followlng a presc~bcd format or
pattern that Includes elements
such asa tltle page, transmittal
or cover letter, table of contents,
and abstract.
Formal reports, hy contras t, tackle more complex and difficult prohlems and typ
kally require five or six pages to do so, sometimes as many as two hundred or more.
Because formal reports must reflect the significance o r their subject matter and the profes-
sionalism of the organizations they represent, their style is more formal and traditional,
meaning that personal pronouns and contractions are not accept.ahle. Fom1al reports are
typically organized into six basic parts and have to conform to standards of convention
and layout so that extensive and detailed infom1at.ion (ohm corning from met.ic:uloi1s
research) can he managed effectively. They may have some extra supporting features, such
as a separate title page or a cover letter that hriefly explains the purpose and contents of
the report. Effective visual presen.tation- in the form of well-designed and well -integrated
computer-generated graphics, t.ahles, and illustrations-lends credibility and interest,
thereby playing a vital role in the way formal reports communicate information to readers.
Formal reports are discussed in more detail in Chapter 11.

Distinguishing Features of Short Reports

Reports can he quite diverse in their cont.mt. They can vary in length, approach , and
scope. They al~o differ according to their purpose, audience, and rom1at (how they look
and in what form their illfom1ation is delivered). Here are a few ways of thi.nking of
reports that wiU help to identify and differentiate them.

PURPOSE
A report may have one of several purposes or functions. It can pass on the following:

information (collecting data for the reader)

information and analysis (interpreting data hut not offering recommendations)
 10 I INFORMA L REPORTS

inrom1ation, analysis, and recommendations (proposing a course of action, a solution

to a prohlem, a new procedure, a new policy, or changing responsihilities)

Although there are as many kinds of reports as there are reasons for writing them, the
purposes just mentioned define the general kinds or informal reporting: informational and
analytical/recommendation. Informational reports answer questions and provide infor- lnformatloMI report a short
mation without analysis. Writers of informational reports gather and organize data relating report that collects data related to
a routine actlVlty without offering
to routine activities, providing readers with what they need most- the facts supported
analysisor recommending actton;
hy relevant hackground details. In formational reports may look into opt.ions, outline per- Its three parts aro Introduction,
fom1ance, or investigate equipment, hut they never go so far as to offer recommendations. nndlngs, and summary/conclusion.
Readers of thLs type of report are in a neutral or receptive frame of mind: they want. to
know certain facts without being persuaded o r anything.
Analytical or recommendation reports go a step further hy interpreting data and analytical report (or
offering 1:ecomrnendations that may aid in problem-solvi11g and decision-making. Because recommendation report)
a report that Interprets and
persuasion may be required in convincing readers t.hat the proposed recommendation or analyzes Information and
conclusion is appropriate, greater thought has t.o be given to how readers might respond offers recommendations based
and to how the pros and cons of each alternative should be weighed, presented, and dis- on nndlngs.
cussed. Writers of analytical reports also need to present evidence in support of findings
and estahlish criteria for any alternatives that are evaluated. A full explanation of informa-
t.ional and analytical reports, \vith examples, is provided later in this chapter.

FREQUENCY OF SUBMISSION
Reports <.11Lso differ in terms or how often they are suhmitted.

Periodic reports are filed at regular intervals according to a schedule (wee kly, periodic report an
hiweekly, monthly, quarterly. semi-mmually, or annually) and keep readers up to date Informational report that Is flied at
regular Intervals.
on activities or operations, for instance, the ongoing work on a project, the weekly
activity of sales staff, or I.he status of monthly sales. The information supplied is rairly
routine and may simply be filed as a matter of record .
One-time reports deal with specific issues and take stock of special projects and non- one-time report a report that
recurrent situations. Often in the fom1 of analytical or recommendation reports, they presents the results of a special or
long term project
are designed to aid management decisions.

COMMON CATEGORIES
later in the chapter, you will he introduced lo common kinds of informal husiness
reports, each designed to record the details of a particular situation, activity, or occur-
rence. In some cases, their characteristics may overlap just as their purposes do. The
best-known types of informational and analytical husiness reports are periodic reports,
situation reports (lnclutling trip, progress, and activity reports), incident reports, inves-
tigative reports, compliance reports, recommendation reports, justification reports, feas-
ihility reports, and summaries.

FORMATS AND DISTRIBUTION

Reported information can he prepared and distrihuted in several ways. The following
options range from least to most formal:
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

Memorandum report: This format is appropriate for circulating data withi n an organ-
memorandum report a short, ization. Memorandum reports generally have no more than I.en pages, use an infonnal .
Internal report presented In conversational style, and are typed like typical memos, with the following features:
memo format.
1- to l '/.t-inch (2..54- to 1.18-centimetre) side margins
t.he standard guidewords TO, FROM, DATE, and SU&JECT (usually the report's pri
mary recommendation)
single-spaced paragraphs separated hy two hlank lines
Descriptive headings can he added to arrange facts and mark each new section.
Prepared-form report: Time-saving preprinted forms with standardized headings
are useful for recording repetitive data or for describing routine activities within
an organization.
Le tter report: Letter rormat is often used for short, informal reports prepared by
letter report a short, external one organization and sent to another. A letter report, prepared on company station-
report presented In letter format. ery, contains all the elements usu ally found in a letter (date, inside address, return
address. salutation, complimentary dose). Descriptive headings can he used.
PowerPoint report: A recent trend among business executives and consultanL~ L~
the use of PowerPoi nt for d eliverahle and short written reportS, especially period ic
reports such as progress rep orts. Ilecause PowerPoint does not accommodate a high
level of informative detail, it is best to use Note pages in a pri nted slide deck in order
to provide adequate explanation of the text and graphics on each slide.
Formal report: Formal reports are usually prepared in manuscript format and p1inted
on plain paper. They have headings and subheadings.

Direct and Indirect Approaches

As you learned in Chapters 6 to :8, the choice o r a direct or indirect writing plan depends
on the content of your lette r or m emo and the expectations your reader may have ahout
it. The same general approaches apply to the organization of reports. lt is all a question
o r what should come fi rst based cm your need to persuade or simply inform your reade r.

DIRECT APPROACH: INFORMATIONAL AND ANALYTICAL REPORTS

Routine, non-sensitive information related to recurring act.ivit.ies and one-t.ime situations
is delivered most effectively when it is presented directly. Organizing an informational
report comes with the expectation that readers will support or he interested in what you
have to say and won't have to be persuaded. Managers generally like this get-to-the-point
approach. Ilecause of its convenience, the direct approach is standard for most inforrna
tional reports, in which sections are arranged in the following orde r:
Purpose/ln trod uction/13ackground
FacL~ and Findings
Summary
You can also use the direct a pproach in analytical reports when you expect. t.hat the
reader will agree with your recommendations without any persuasion. A direct-approach
analytical report, which includes conclusions and recommendations, presen ts its informa-
tion in the following orde r:
ln troductim1/Problem/I3ackground
Conclusions or Recommendations
 10 I IN FO RMAL REPORT S

Facts and Findings

Disc ussion and Analysis

INDIRECT APPROACH: ANALYTICAL REPORTS

When you expect some resistance or displeasure on th.e pan of the reader, an indirect
approach works hest. The more you need to persuade or educate your reader, the mo re
you should consider using an indirect approach that huilds gradual acceptance for the
actions you endorse. The information is usually presented in the following order:
Purpose/lntroduction!Prohlem
Facts and Findings
Dlscussion and Analysis
Conclusions or Recommendations
Dy mirroring the logical processes of problem-solving, this pattern works well when
readers aren't familiar with the topic or problem.

Writing Style for Short Reports

Finding an appropriate style for a short report involves studying your audience and under
standing their preferences and those of your organization . Sho rt informal reports use more
pe rsonal language than long reports and may include personal pronouns such as land we
and even contractions, but they still must project an air o f objectivity and professionalism
so that readers \viii accept their findings and conclusions_
When you know the reader fairly well, your tone can he somewhat relaxed. When
the reader is a stranger or a top manager, it is better to en on the side of caution and use
a more impersonal style, one that ls neutral but not overly stuffy. You may not know what
\vill happen to your report aft.er it leaves your hands; therefore, it is always hest to avoid
any kind of language that may offend, especially words that exaggerate or show hias.
Take care to wri te objectively and accurately, separating fact from opinion and back-
ing up any viewpoint you do express with an explanation or sound evidence. Keep in
mind that readers have to he able to decode the text when reading quickly Your meaning
must he clear. As you compose your report, it is worth the time it will take you to scrutin
ize for words and phrases that are amhiguous. What the word you means, for example,
might he obvious to you hut not to the reader, who may not he able t.o tell if the word
refers to him or her specifically or to a larger organizational unit. If in doubt, spell it out in
specifics and use the company name instead.

Headings
The longer a report and the more detailed its infonnation, the more readers rely on headings heading ntle or subntle, usually
to scan, skim, and navigate the document. Like signpost<;, head ings guide readers through aword or short phrase, within
the body of a document that
the t.exl. O n their own , headings provide an outline or overview, a way of showing that the ldcn!lftes Its par ts and gives clues
structure you have chosen for your report is clear and cohesive. Headi ngs break up text to Its organtzatton.
into meaningful and manageahle segments, making information easier to find and c.Teati ng
breathing spaces where readers can pause to collect their thoughts and absorb what they have
read. Different head ing levels (distingulshed by size, colour, weight, underlining, and italics)
can show which parts of the report belong together and the relative importance of each part.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
Short reports usually feature headings of the appropriate level hefore every section and sub-
section. Each heading (con..<;isting of a word, phrase, or complete sentence) nrnst descrihe all
the material that appears beneath it. Here are seven tips for using headings effectively:
functional heading each of a
series or generic hcacJlngs that,
when taken together, show a
report In outline.
descriptive head (or ta Iking
head) a heading that describes
the actual content or a rcpo1t and
provides more Information about It.
1. Use either functional or descriptive headings. Functional headings are basic,
generic headings (Introducti"n, Finding.~. Summary) that can he used in almost any
report hut are found most commonly in routine ones. Ilecause they are general, they
also provide useful lead-offs to sensitive information to which the reader might react
negatively. Descriptive or talking heads are high-info rmation headi ngs that reflect
the actual content of a repon, summarizing its key points, telling the reader what to
expect, and making the report easy to skim (e.g., Voice Mail an Tnnappropriate Medium
for Confidential lnformatirm). Functional and descriptive headings can often he com-
bined (Rt:commendatirms: New Policy on Sec:ure Messaging).
2. Keep headings short and clear. Limit headings to eight words. Headings of more
than a line are too long to he in telligible al a glance. Clarity is everything in a report.
Keep in mind that a vague heading defeats the purpose of having a heading.
3. Use parallel construction. For the sake of consist.ency and readability, use balanced
phrases and grammat.lcal structures. Under a single main heading, subheads must
he parallel to each other but not necessarily parallel to subheads listed under other
main headings.
Not parallel: Improved Transmission of Sensitive Information
How can we end e-mai l errors?
Voice-mail problems
Why we should change fax procedures
Parallel: Improved Transmission of Sensitive Information
Ending e-mail errors
Eliminating voice-mail problems
Changing fax procedures
4. Ensure headings are clearly ranked. Capitalize and underline headings consistently
depending on what they introduce. Once you have chosen a style for each heading
level, stick with it all the way through the report. Show the rank and relative import-
ance of headings by formatti ng each level systematically. Here are a few suggestions
on how lo formal three different level~ or headings:
FIRST LEVEL
First-level headings can be typed in bold with all caps, centred. Text follows on a new line.
Sec;ond Level
Second-level headings can be typed in bold and run flush with the left margin. Only the first
letter of each word is capitalized (this is also known as title case). Text follows on a new line.
Third l11v11I. Third-level headings can be typed in bold and run flush with the left margin.
Only the first letter of the first word is capitalized. The heading is followed by a period and
text follows on the same line.
5. Put beadings where they belong. Don't use a subheading unless you plan to divide
the material that follows into at least two subsections. Unless a heading or suhheading
 10 I IN FO RMAL REPORT S

will be followed by at lea~t two lines of text at the bottom of a page, type it at the top
of the next page.
6. Don't enclose headings in quotation marks. Quotation marks are unnecessary in
headi ngs. Ilold type and capitalization are enough to distinbruish a head from sur-
rounding text.
7. Don't use a heading as the antecedent for a pronoun. The line of text after the
heading or subheading should not begin with this, that, thrn: , or those alone because
the reader may not know what you are referring to; instead repeat the noun from the
heading and add it to the pronoun (Tliis e-mail error . .. ).

Steps in the Writing Process

Reports, even short infonnal ones, can involve hours of work. Not only must data be gen-
erated, but it must also be analyzed, evaluated, and compiled in a way that is meani ngful
to readers and adequately reinforces I.he answer to a question or the solutions to a prob-
lem. Like any task that involves time, effort, and resources, writing a report takes plan-
ning. Even before your planning begins, it may help to think of your report as a process
involving several achievable steps: planning. researching/analyzing information, compos-
ing, and n:visi ng.

PLANNING
Your flrst job is to look at the situation, define the boundaries of the project, and think
about any restrictions you may face in t.e1llls of time, fi nances, and personnel. While routine
informational reports do not involve considerations of this kind, fonnal reports and reporL~
offering recommendations beneftt from the time you spend considering matters such as your
deadline and what your budget will allow you t.o do in relation to the projects scope. Ask
yourself if you will require any special services or additional personnel to carry out your
work. The more extensive a report is and the more people there are involved in its produc-
tion, the more necessary it is to create a work plan that includes a timeline. A work plan
sets out the scope of the project, outlines how work will he done, identifies the amount and
type(s) of research, and divides responsibilities according to each phase of the project. lt. also
sched ules completion dates for each stage of research, writing, and production.

RESEARCHING/ANALYZING DATA AND INFORMATION

Ilefore you launch an online search, head for the Library, search company records, or check
out pertimenl databases, take some 1.ime lo brainstom1 your topic t.o grasp the big picture
and the possibilities it presenL~ to you. Once you have thought ahout the subject- its vari-
ous aspects, how it can be d ivided into manageable sections, the larger issues related to it,
and the changing trends or circumstances that may affect it- you will have a better idea
about where to bebrin your search and where to find the c:lata you need. Keep in mind that
not all data is created equally. From what.ever source it comes, the info rmation you collect
should be current, valid, and reliable.
Any data you use must meet these criteria, most of all statistics. For any figures you cite
you must name their source, how they were de1ived, anc:l how recent they are. Scrutinize
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

survey results, paying close attention to the size of the sample group. Because any report
is only as good as the infom1ation that hacks it up, it is essential to evaluate data to decide
what portion of it is usahle in 1.em1s of supporting your documents specific purpose. From
reams of raw data, it is possihle to extract pertinent facts through a process of soning and
logical sequencing. Jn analytical reports, which go a step further, infom1ation gathe1ing
goes hand in band with analysis and tabulation- spotting trends and relationships among
the facts and numerical data you have gathered, identifying logical patterns, and heing
prepared to hack them up with i.llustrations. lf you are working from raw numerical data
comprising a range of values, statistical terms for several important concepts may be of use
to you as you attempt t.o describe and make sense of what you have assembled:

Mean is the term for the ariithmetic average calculated by dividing the total sum by
the tot.al numbe r of units (e.g., the mean of 2, 5, 5, 5, and 1.3 is 6).
Median is the term for the middle value of a series (e.g., I.he median of 2, 5, 5, 5, and
13 is 5).
Mode is the tem1 for the value that appears most freq uently (e.g., the mode of
2, 5, 5, 5, and 13 is 5).
Range descrihes the span between lowest and highest values.

No matter how compelling your data is, howeve r, it won't have an impact un less it is
first stored, tabulated, and managed effectively. Be sure to record infonnation taken From
documents carefully by developing good note-taking habits, scanning and photocopying
when you need to (keeping copyright issues in mind). Always keep track of where your
data comes from and establish a system for storing the infom1ation you collect. Individual
file cards for each it.em or secure computer files are good for this purpose. For each source,
record t.he bibliographic details you will need when compiling a l i..~t of resources. You need
to note these details:

the title of the work/document/web page/article and t.he tit.le of the perlodica l or book
from which it was taken
the author's name
the publisher/web address
the publication date/weh access date

COMPOSING AND REVISING

Once you finish collecting data and drawi ng conclusions from it, your task is to com-
municate your findings in a logical and methodical way. It is usually best to prepare your
report on a word processor and safeguard against lost Illes and other mishaps by saving
your document oft.en, even printing out a provisional hard copy every now aind then.
Some writers-wary of writer's block and wanting their words to flow easily- find it help-
ful to draw u p a quick first draft that can he revised and polished lat.er. With less fuss over
supplying every last detail, rapid WTiting is useful for recording ideas and establishing a
coherent structure in which ideas can now well. Other writers may prefer a more deliber-
ate approach that involves working from a detailed plan or outline or leaving more chal-
lenging sections for last, once the shape and rhythm of the report become clear.
Developing an outline, even a very brief one, can help you gain control over your
material and smooth the flow of ideas and information. A working outline, using a
 10 I IN FO RMAL REPORT S

Llumhering system found ill most word -processing programs, can he written in point rom1
alphanumeric outline an
or complete sentences. The template for your system may use an alphanumeric outline outlining system that combines
(hased on a comhination o r numhers and letters) or a decimal outline. Whatever system numbers and letters to differentiate
you use, the numher helollgs hefore the head ing, with the benefit of making the heading levelsof head lngs.

easier to reference. While short, infom1al reports may not require outlines, lengthy, fom1al decimal outline (or numeric
reports d o. Aside from an outline, you may also have to decide how to balance the text outline) an outlining system that
and visuals, if you happen to use the latter. usesa combination of numbers
and dcclrnal points to differentiate
levelsof headings.
A

1
a

alphanumeric outline
ii

b
2
B

OR

1.
1.1

1.11
l.12 decimal outline

1.2
1.21
2.

Unti.l the final ed ited version is submitted, it is hest to think of yoi1r report as a work-
in -progress. Committing your facts and ideas to the printed page should not be a one-shot
process and may in fact require up to three drafts as you move grad ually from a rough idea
of what you had in mind t.o something that resembles the shape of a finished report. From
there, revising and editing your document may requi re cuts, additions, reorderings, and
rewrites, changes that can he made more efficiently if you put yourself in the readers place
and ask, Is all this detail really necessary? Are it.ems logically linked? Could entire sections
he removed without harming the report? Be prepared to make changes to any section con-
taining so much detail that it might be difficult to read and interpret.
H you have been working collaboratively, make sure each member of the group has
read the report and is satisfied with the text of the final draft before you have it edited. lt
is possible to solicit editorial suggest.ions by using a progrnm such as Adobe Acrobat or MS
Word, where annotations and changes can he made Oll screen, attached to the document,
and sibrned.
Ideally, it is best to leave as much time as possible between completi ng the final draft
and starting to edit. A day or two is optimal, hut even an hour o r so will give you the
 COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS
Introduction the flr~t section
In the body of a report, which
provides readcis with the
Information lh<lY need In order to
understand and evaluate the report
Itself; It must Include alther the
report's purpose or a statement of
the problem the report addresses.
Findings the most subst<Jntlal
part of a report, In wh lch
qualitative and numeric dat<J Is
presented and organllCd by time,
convention, order of Importance,
or component.
ohjectivity you need to read your document with a critical eye. Work from a printout so
you have a record of what you wrote hefore you started to make changes or use the "track
changes" option available in many word-processing programs. Once you are satisfied with
the final version, leave time to proofread the document more than once, preferably mak-
ing several passes over the document to read for content, spelling and grammar, tone,
clarity, and coherence. Cast your eye over the report to check ror formatting errors and
prohlem.s with consistency.
Elements of Informal Reports
Short, informal reports tell stories and share infom1ation in a logical and systematic way,
grouping inrom1at.ion in manageable, standardized elements from heginning to end. In
general, any informal report has three major parts: an introduction that includes a state
rnent o r purpose, a findings sect.ion, and a closing summary or conclusion (with or with-
out recommendations). Because there is no single right way of organizing a report, the
headings you use are largely up to you and depend on the type of report you are writing,
what you have to say, and whether your report contains recommendations in addition
to findings.
INTRODUCTORY STATEMENT
The introductory statement mmounces the report, indicating what it examines and pro-
viding any necessary background information. This section of the report is called the
Int.rnduction (or Background). Sometimes it simply states the purpose of the report, often
in just a sentence: This report examines the disposal of documents in our workplace. ln other
cases, it may link that purpose with report recommendations: This report on document di.I
posaJ sugge.1ts ways to protect our intellectual property and client privilege. What.ever fom1 the
purpose statement takes, it should specify the prohlem or technical quest.ion you will deal
with and indicate the rhetmical purpose your report is aimed at achieving. An introduc-
tion may also preview key poin ts (in the sequence in which they will be presen ted) or
estahlish the limits of the report . A preview of key poinL~ and a description 0 methods
used to collect data can also be included in the introduction or under separate headings
inm1ediately following it.
FINDINGS
Also commonly called Results or Facts, I.he Findings section is the most suhstantial part of
a report. lt offers details and relates results to circumstances. ln a suhsequent hut related
section called Discussion/Analysis, findings are explained and made meaningful through
analysis. Overall these sections reit1force logical connectiollS hetween relevant facts and
any conclusions or recommendations that are ultimately made.
Because the data presented in these sections may he extensive, they can he organfaed
under several subheadings (remember to use parallel fom1) devised to fit the subject and
situation. Use an appropriate method o r organization to guide the reader th rough your
discussion: (1) present facts chronologically (when commen ting on the progress of a pro-
ject or the steps in a procedure), alphahetically, or in order of their importance (heginning
 10 I IN FO RMAL REPORT S

with t.he most important item wh en you want to save t.he reader time or ending with the
most im portan t it.em when you wan t the reader to rememher it); (2) draw comparisons,
considering options one hy one or developi ng point-hy-point comparisons; and (3) divide
or classify t.he topic, hreaking it clown into its component parts or applying consistent cri-
teria in order to evaluate it.

SUMMARY/CONCLUSIONS/RECOMMENDATIONS
Optional in in romiational reports (where it is called Summary), the concluding section Summary the closing or second
is crucial t.o analytical reports, where it is called Conclusions and Recommendations. last section of a report that briefly
restiltes Its main points.
The conclusions are the part of th e report in which readers are often most interested.
Though conclusions and recommendations are often found under the same heading and Conclusions and
nu mbered fo r easy reference, they differ substantially in both purpose and phrasing. Recommendations the
closing section of an analytical
Concl usions present objective analysis directly related to the report's problem and find-
or recommendation mport In
ings (e.g., Amongfonns of two-factor authentication, biometrics L~ the best method rif emuring which specinc actions am
secure on!ine transactions) , whereas recommendations make speci fic suggestions for actions proposed to solve a problem or
aid decision-making.
that will solve the problem (Explrm: the prmibility of tL~ing biometric fingerprint readers as the
prima1y means rif two-factor authentication). These suggestions are typically phrased as com-
mands, bebrinning with a strong act.ion verb.
It is appropriate to offer recommen dations only wl1en you have been asked to do
so, in wh ich case you may also ch oose to explain h ow th ose recommendations can he
implemented. In an analytical report, the recommendations section comes after the intro-
duction (in d irect-approach reports) or toward tlie end (in indirect-approach reports).
When ch ances are good that readers will be receptive to your recommendation , it can
he included in the title of the report-Recommendation to Limit Fax Transmi.~~ions of Client
lnformati<m- m1d then repeated in the hody of tlie report itself. ln cases where t.here is
more than one recommendation, the recommendations can he listed in order o r their
import.ar1ce (from most important t.o least important).
Desi~'lled for sim plidty, most infom1al reports do not include fron t and hack matter
such as covers, title pages, tables of conten ts, or lists of must.rations. Appendices, though
rare, can he used to incorporate cha rts, supporting data, diagrams, or other documents
needed to understand the recommendations.

Using Graphics and Visuals

A feature o r reporL~ is the use of visual aids, which are designed not just to support the v1sual aids matertals such
words you use hut also , on some occasions, to replace words altogetlier. Visualizations as charts, graphs. tables, and
Illustrations that present
reflect the analysis of data and plot out th e patte rns and relationships you have found
Information In Visually appealing
through your observations and research. They make numerical information meaningful ways to show trends and
to readers and can speak in a dramatically persuasive and compact way. Above all, they relatlonshlps, represent numbers
and quantltles, and make abstract
clarify arnd simplify complex data, and by doing so give it extra emphasL~. Easily created
concepts concrete.
and capable of present.ing a wide range of data, vist.1als typically include tahles, pie charts,
har cha rts, Line graphs, fl ow charts, organizational charts, and illustrations. To start cre-
ating proressional-looking graphics, all you need is the assemhled data and a computer
graph ics program such as Excel o r PowerPoin t. Th e finished graphic can then h e printed
on paper or inserted into your word-processing document.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
table a chart that presents data,
usually numerical, In 21 compact
and systematic arrangement of
rows and columns.
FIGURE 10. 1
Simple Table
Any graphic or visual is o nly as good as the data it represents and the thought that
goes into its plann ing and matching of design with ohjectives. The most effective visuals
meet several criteria:
are clearly titled and clearly lahelled on each part or axis
are uncluttered, intuitive, and easy to understand
are accurate, functional, and ethical (\vith clear attrihution through source lines and
no made-up or skewed data)
are included for a purpose, to make a particular point and to add interest.
are integrated or placed where they make the most sense- near to where they are
referred to in the text if they are im portant, in an appendix if they are supplement.al
and supported by an ex'Planation of the main point
Edward R. Tufte, autho r of The Visual Display of Quantitative lnformatirm and expert in
the presentation of inrormat.ional graphics, has summed up how graphs and charts may
hest be used: "Give the viewer the greatest number of ideas in the sho rtest space o r time
with the least ink in the smallest space."3
TABLES
The most common type of visual, a tahle, is made up of rows and columns of cells that
can be filled with exact figures mid values. Concise and compact, tables consolidate a lot
o r data in a small space while retaining detail. They are useful ror drawi ng attention to
specific numbers and drawing comparisons between them. It is easy to create tables using
your existi ng wo rd-processing software. Here are a few tips:
Design your table so it fits on one page. lf the table is too \vide to fit this way, turn it side-
ways so the top of the table is next to the hound edge of the report. (ln MS Word, you
can do this hy selecting "landscape" rather than "Portrait" from the "Page Setup" tab.)
Apply a heading that lncl udes the table number and an appropriate title/caption.
Number your tahles sequentially as they appear in your report and separately from
figures. Only when an explanation immediately precedes the table can the headlng
he omitted.
Canada's Most Counterfeited Bills in 2009
Denomination Number of Fakes
$20 162,000
$10 159,000
$50 53,000
$100 51,000
SS 18,000
Total Value $12.7 million
Data source: RCMP, Interpol
 10 I INFORMAL REPORTS

Foreign Exchange Cross Rates FIGURE 10. 2

Canadian us Japanese Swiss Complex Table

dollar dollar Euro yen franc

Canadian dollar 1.2062 1.6431 0.0117 1.0661

US dollar 0.4313 0.7087 0.0050 0.4598
Euro 0.6086 0.7341 0.0071 0.6488

Japanese yen 85.4800 103.1100 140.4600 91 .1400

Swiss franc 0.9380 1.1314 1.5412 0.0110

l abel all parts clearly and identify units in which figures are given. Numbers and
titles/captions go above the tahle. Any other information, such as a source line identi-
fying where the data originated from , goes helow.
For long tables wi th many rows, improve readability by shading alternate lines OT hy
increasing the height of the cells.
Use N/A ("not available"), a row of dots, OT a dash to acknowledge missi ng data.

MATRIXES
A matrix is a word table that contains qualitative info rmati on rather than numerical matrhca word table that
data. Matrixes are used in reports and proposals to list instructional materials and con- pmscntsquail tatlvc Information
In a rectangular fo1mat or
solidate compl ex infom1 ation in a page OT less. For exam ple, a matrix coi1ld be used arrrangement.
to describ e the investment objectives and risks of different types of funds offered by a
securities company.

Aggressive-Growth Portfolio Balanced Funds

Canadian Target
Equities Weighing Manager Investment Objectives Risk

Can star True 11% Canstar Investments The fund aims to achieve long-term capital Main risk:
North Fund Canada Limited growth. It invests primarily in Canadian equity risk
equity securities.
Additional risks:
ACA Canadian ACA Exmark The fund seeks to generate long-term capital credit risk
Premier Fund Investments Inc. growth by investing in a diversified portfolio interest rate risk
of Canadian equity securities. smal I company risk
derivative risk
St. Lawrence 6% St. Lawrence The fund pursues long-term capital growth equity risk
Enterprise Fund Financial Corporation while maintaining a commitment to capital liquidity risk
protection by investing in Canadian small- securities lending risk
capitalization equity securities. smaller companies risk
equity risk

FIGURE 10. 3

Matrix
 COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

pie chart a circular chart divided
Into ~ecnons, where each soctlon
represents a numerical proportion
of thewhole.
PIE CHARTS
A pie chart measures an area, sh.owing different values as proport.ions or the whole. Each
slice or wedge represents a percentage (usually identified with a horizontal lahel). The
whole circle has to he equivalent to 100 per cent for the pie chart to make sense. Values in
a typical pie chart start at twelve o'clock and with the largest. percent.age (or the percentage
of greatest interest to your report). Wedges are t.hen sequenced clockwise in progressively
smaller slices. The pie slices (ideally, four to eight or them) are given visual separation by
distinct.ive colour, shading, texture, or cros.~hat.ching. Any slice can he set out from the
rest to emphasize the value of a particular segment. Pie charts are most useful for com
paring one segment to the whole, by demonstrating, for example, a product line revenue
breakdown, how a municipal tax dollar is spen t, or how one fund compares against all
others in an agi,,rressive-growth investment portfolio.

FIGURE 10.4 Asset Alfocation

Pie Chart

Stocks 45%

Fixed Income 50%

Cash 5%

FIGURE 10.S Product Line Revenue Breakdown, 2009

Pie Chart
9%

5%

22%

33%

14%

17%

Video I Other Data

Wireless Long distance Local and access

Data source: Telephone Services Annual Report 2009

 10 I IN FORMA L REPORTS

BAR CHARTS
The purpose of a bar chart is to show how items compare with one another, how they bar chart a visual consisting of
compare over time, or what the relationship is between o r among them. As the name sug parallol horizontal or vertlc.11barsof
varying lengths, each representing
gests, a bar chart presents data in a series of hars or columns, drawn either horizontally a specific Item for comparison.
(when labels are long) or vertically (when labels are short). The higher or longer the bar,
the greater the value it represents. Bars have different meanings depending on their colour
OT shading, which also helps to distinguish them rTOm the background.

Mortgage Income Fund Year-by-Year Returns FIGURE 10.6

Vertical Bar Chart

13.10%

10

0
- 0.30%

2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013

FIGURE 10. 7
Gasoline Price per Litre (US dollars)
Horizontal Bar Chart
United Kingdom 1.20

France 1.16

Netherlands 1.16

Denmark 1.12

Japan 1.11

Italy 1.09

Norway 1.09

Canada 0.55

United States 0.39

Data source: Narlonal Post Business

 CO MM UN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

Arranged in log1cal or chronological order, bars

Watch GCF's "PowerPoint 2010: Insert
Charts to learn how to create charts
with this software: http://goo.gi/11JOda
can be ~egmented , divided, or stacked to show
how the components of each add up (e.g., how a
municipal tax dollar is budgeted or allocated). ln
this way, a divided bar chart (Figure 10.9) is much
like a pie chart (Pigu res 10.4 and 10. 5), hut it can
also he used to presen t complex quantitat ive infor-
mation (Figure l O.l 0). A particular kind or har
chart called a deviation bar chart identifies posi-
tive and negative values, such as the year-hy-year

segment9d bar chart (or

dlv1d9d bar chart) d visual Annual Ratios of Sales-Closlngs to Sales Calls
con.11st1ng ol a Slnqlc bar dMdcd 7,000
acco1dlng 10 1hc dlffc rent portions Number of calls
that make up an Hem as a whole.
Number of closings
deviation bar chart a specific
1ypc or bar char! lhat shows
positive and ncgmlvc values. 5,000

4,000

3,000

2,000

FIGURE 1 o.a 1,000

Bar Chart Showing 0

Comparisons 2012 2013

Asset Allocatlon
Cash

Fixed Income
50%

Stocks
45%

FIGURE 10.9

Divided Bar Chart

 10 I IN FORMA L RE P ORTS

Quarterly Sales by Region, 2013 FIGURE 10.10

50.0 D Eastern region Divided Bar Chart

Central region

40.0 Western region

30.0

20.0

10.0

1st 2nd 3rd 4th

Quarter Quarter Quarter Quarter

losses and gains of a dividend fund (see Figure 10.6). The data in all vari.eti.es of bar charts
should he properly scaled to fill the entire chart and not just squeezed into one comer. All
bars should he the same width and dose enough togethell' to make comparison easy.

PICTURE GRAPHS
Looking a lot like bar graphs, picture graphs (or histograms) use pictori.al symbolo;-for picture graph avisual that uses
example, stick people, pine trees, or cars-to represent quanti.ties of particular items. These pictorial symbols to represent
particular Items.
symbols or images are arranged in bars that can then be labelled with the tot.al quantity.

Automotive Sales by Year, 2011 - 2013 FIGURE 10.11

Picture Graph
2011 900,000

800,000

550,000

~ = 100,000
 COMM UN I CATIN G FOR RESU LTS
line graph a visual that uses lines
on a g~d to show bends according
to the relationship between two
va~ables or sets of numbers.
groul>@d line graph a line graph
that makes comparisons between
two or more Items.
FIGURE 10.12
Line Graph
FIGURE 10.13
Grouped Line Graph
LINE GRAPHS
line graphs show the relationship between two variables on a grid, plotted by connecting
the dots to fom1 a continuous li.11e. They are useful for showi ng tre11ds, fluctuations, or
progressions over a period of time. Below are some points to follow when devising a line
graph or grouped line graph.
Show the zero point of the graph where the two axes intersect. Insert a break in the
scale if it is inconvenient to begin al zero.
Quantities (litres, dollars, percentages) go on the vertical y axis; time goes on t.he hori-
zontal x axis.
Mark small dots at intersection points to draw attention to values.
If you want to, shade between the li nes lo emphasize the difference between them.
Handle the proportion of t.he horizontal and vertical scales carefully so that the pres-
entat.ion of data is free of distortion and all data is distrihuted equally over the graph.
As needed, include a key that explai ns lines and symhols.
If data comes from a secondary source, put a source line at the lower left comer of
the figure .
Canadian Dollar
DAILY CLOSE, US CENTS
Historical Compound Performance
$2,000 - HK Extra Return Bond Fund
Canadian Bond Average
'04 'OS '06 '07 'OB '09 '00 '1 1 ' 12 '13
 10 I IN FO RMA L REPORTS

Customer Complaints FIGURE 10.14 Customer Complaints FIGURE 10.15

600 line Graph: 600 line Graph:

Distorted Scale Distortion Free
500

400

300

200

100 100

0
2012 2013 2008 2009 2010 201 1 2012 2013
Distorted/Compressed Distortion Free

GANTT CHARTS
Named for its inventor, Henry uurence Ga11tt., a Gantt chart is used for plmming and Gantt chart a bar chart that Is
scheduling projects. Its most useful application is blocking out periods of time to show used to show a schedule.
what stage a project has reached or when staff will be on vacation.

Project Development Schedule FIGURE 10.16

Gantt Chart
November December

Research

Planning

Recruit ment

Training

FLOW CHARTS
A flow chart maps out a procedure, process, or sequence of movements diagrammatically flow chart a diagram that maps
using captioned symbols of different geometrical shapes (called ISO symbols) joined by out proccduras, processes, or
sequences of movement
lined arrows (for an explanation of these symbol~. see Figme 10.17). Each shape represents
a particu lar stage in the process. Flow charts, even ones that use simple labelled blocks as
in Figure 10.18, help to clarify procedures and make complex systems unde rstandable.

FIGURE 10.17
Human Fu nction requiring
ISO Flow Ch art Symbols
operation no input

Claims Adjustment Process FIGURE 10.18

Flow Chart
Claim
Review
 COMMUNI C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
organizational chart a diagram
that shows how various levels
or sectors of an organization arc
related 10 one another.
FIGURE 10.1!1
Organizational Chart
ORGANIZATIONAL CHARTS
l ooking much like a family tree, an organizational chart maps nut the structure nf a
com pany, showing chains of command and channels of comm unication and m aking it
clear who reports to whom, from front-line employees all the way up to senior manage rs.
Board of
Directors
President
V.P. V.P.
V.P. V.P. V.P.
Research and Information
Manufacturing Marketing Finance
Development Services
Projects Publications
Director Director
Don't bury important information by overloading a graphic with too much data.
De-clutter as much as possible by limiting the number of lines you use to what is
absolutely necessary.
Use a type of graphic that is appropriate to your message and objective.
Use a scale that minimizes distortion (e.g., when points are too spread out or too close
together). Equalize the distance between points so you don't overplay or underplay
changes. Figures 10.14 and 10.15, on page 329 show that compressed data emphasizes
change while spread out data de-emphasizes change.
Unless you are expected to give exact figures, round off decimals to the nearest whole
number (38 per cent or 38.2 per cent instead of 38.2431 per cent). Dollars in the mil lions
can be simplified visually by adding (S millions) or (in millions) to a table or graph heading.
Don't distort data by omitting relevant information.
Apply consistent style for titles, numbers, and sizing of graphs and charts. Tables of
equal importance should be of equal size.
Use a source line to acknowledge the source of the data if it is from another publication
and not data you collected yourself.
 10 I IN F ORMAL REPORT S

Type Example Use FIGURE 10. 20

Table to present exact figures concisely Graphics Quick Reference

2012 2013 Char t
GR 403.1 395.9
AP 226.7 197.5

Matrix to pr,esent qualitative information

Message Plan concisely
Good News Direct
Bad News lndired

Pie Chart to show a whole unit and the

proportions of its components

Bar Chart to show how one item compares

with others

Line Graph to show changes in numerical data

over time

Flow Chart

ogB to map out a procedure

Organizational to map out the structure or hierarchy

Chart of a company

: :I :
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
Incident report a sl"lort report
that documents problems and
unexpected occurrences that affect
a company's day-tod ay operations.
Commonly Used Short Reports: Informational
and Analytical
Short reports can he either inform ational or analytical. Here is a brief look at some of the
most frequently written categories of reports. Many of these categories are discussed in
more depth late r in I.he chapter.
INFORMATIONAL REPORTS
As previously stated, informatiorol repo rts have a specific purpose-to collect data and
present it clearly and directly, without analysL~. conclusions, and the need for wri ters to
persuade their readers. These factual reports deliver routine information ahout different
kinds of activities:
ongoing activities (e.g., sales calb) that need to he monitored at regula1 weekly,
hiweekly, or monthly intervals
non-routine, case-by-case situations (such as business trips or major projects) that
must he accounted for and reported to management
The topics of informational reports are ones that readers are familiar with and can
understand \vithout much background information. Instead of a lengthy introd.uction , a
brief opening can provide the riglht degree of context. Because readers are usually receptive
or neutral in their reaction to infonnation ahout routine operations and activities, a direct,
straightforward approach that gives results immediately is common for reports of this
kind. A crL~p. busi ness-like style, pared-down paragraphs, bulleted lists, and graphic
highlighting techniques (such as headings and white space) help to ensu re that important
facts are easy to find and comprehend. Informational reports can be prepared in letter,
memo, and e-mail fom1at.s; for frequently recurring situations, standardized templates and
fill-in forms, and even PowerPoi nt, are sometimes used.
General categories of informational reports include progress reports, activity reports,
trip/conference reports, and investigative report.s. Periodic reports are informational
reports written at reb'l.tlar inte rvals to describe periodic, recurring activities and to record
data and out.comes (monthly sales figures, the volume of customer service calls, etc.).
Their purpose is to assist in tlie monitoring of operations and keep management infom1ed
on t.he status quo.
Situational reports are infom1ational reports written in response to two specific
types of non-recurring situations: (1) business tri ps or conferences (see "Trip/Conference
Reports," pp. 114- 9) and (2) the progress of a con tin uing project (see "Progress Reports,"
pp. 341, 34.5- 6; ''.Job Completion Reports," pp. 341- 2, 347- 8, and "Activity Reports,"
pp. 340- 3).
Incident reports document problems, unusual evenL~. changes from routine, or
unexpected occurrences that affect a company's day-to-day operations. This type of report
provides complete and accurate details of an incident, answering the questions Who?
What? Where? When? Ilow? and Why? It describes only what is kn own for certain hap
pened, without speculation or inferences about supposed rault, cause, or liability. Viewed
in the long tem1, incident reports spotlight areas of weakness in policy and procedure,
helping to clear up trouble spots and prevent them from recurring.
 10 I IN FO RMAL REPORT S

Investigative reports evaluate prohlems or situations and present facts ha.~ed o n that
Investigative report a report
evaluation. They are usi.1ally written in response to a one-time request for infom1ation. written In response to a request
Depend ing on their scope and topic, investigative reports can either simply supply the for lnformatton about a specific
details that need to he collected or he more analytical and offer interpretation and recom problem or situation.
mendations. There are three hasic parts in an investigative report:
Introduction: states the purpose(s) of the report and defines its scope.
Body: contains facts and findi ngs arranged into several sections with descri ptive
headings. The topic can be divided into logical units according to import.ance, time,
consLituenL elemen ts, or criteria.
Summary: may or may not offer concli.1sions and recommendations.
Compliance reports disclose information to governing bodies and government agen-
cies in compliance with laws and regulations.
Recommendation reports present information hut go a step further in evalu- recommendation report an
ating options o r existing situations and in offering recommendations about them. analytical report that recommends
action, often In response to a
Recommendation reports are commissioned- wri ters are asked to investigate situations
speclHc problem.
or actions, express their professional opinions ahoul them, and recommend appropriate
actions o r inte rventions.
Justification reports also have a problem-solvi ng function , hut they are prepared on justification report an analytical
a volun tary basis, not in response to a commission o r request. They are called justifica- report that justifies the need for
a purchase, Investment, policy
tion reports because they justify a purchase, investment, policy change, o r hiring, stating change, or hiring.
what is needed and why Both recommend ation and justification reports can be organized
directly or ind irectly, depending on how receptive readers will he to the action or solution
the report endorses:
Direct pattern
Introduce the problem hrieOy.
Present the recommend ation, action, or solution.
Justify the recommendation hy highlighting advantages and henefits and explaining
it in more detail.
End with a summary that refers to the action to he taken.
Indirect pattern
lnt.roduce the problem and provide details tliat convince readers of its seriousness
hut do not reveal the recommendation.
Discuss other measures or alternatives under descriptive headi ngs, starting witli
the least likely and ending with your recommendation.
Show that t.he advantages of your solut.ion outwei.gh the disadvantages.
Summarize the action to be taken and ask for authorization.

Feasihility reports evaluate projects o r alternatives to determine iI they are practical feaslblllty report an analytical
and advisahle-in other words, to determine their wonhiness and chances fo r success. report that evaluates whether a
project or alternative Isadvisable
They are necessary a..> a fi rst step before any new project is launched. Typically, feasibility and practical.
reports project costs, staffing needs, scheduling, and potential prohlems and dL.,cuss hene-
fits associated with a project so that readers have all the information they need to decide
whether to accept it and proceed o r opt for an alternative. The process of writ.ing a feas
ihility repo rt generally hreaks down into the following steps:

Announce the decision to he made and list its alternatives.

Describe the prohlem necessitati ng the decision.
 COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS
proposal a document presenttng
plans and Ideas for consideration
and acceptance by the reader.
trip report (or conference
report) a short report that
summarizes the events of a
buslnoss 1:11p or conforcncc.
Evaluate positive and negative aspects or the project, including potential problem~.
Calculate costs and discuss the t.ime frame.
Summari es compress longer in formation and condense it to what management needs
lO know: primary ideas, conclusions, and recommendations.
To-fil e repor ts provide a permanen t written record of dedsion.s, discussions, an d
directives. Left on file for future reference, they summarize decisions made and list the
individuals involved in making them.
Proposals suggest the ways an d means of solving pmhlems. They present information.
about a plan or a project in order to persuade readers to accept the plan and you as the
person to develop it and carry it out. Proposals may he competitive (competing to secure
new business by seeking to sell goods and services 1.0 potential buyers and bidding for
corporate or government cm1tracl~) or internal (suggesting changes in policy or spending
to help change or improve the organization). Because I.hey must sell ideas, products, or
services but must first establish credibility, proposals are substantial documents. (Look for
much more on proposals in Chapter 11.)
Trip/Conference Reports
Many jobs require travel to client, supplier, or branch locations, con ferences and conven-
tions, or train ing and professional development seminars. A trip report or conference
report is an internal document that is prepared as an e-mail or memo and addressed to an
immediate supervisor. It provides a permanent record of what an employee learned and
accomplished on the I.rip. A trip report th us allows an entire organfaa1.ion to hrnefit from
informati.on one employee has gained about products, services, equipment, procedures,
laws, o r pe rsonnel and operations management. Trip and confe rence reports may he lim-
ited to this basic in formation or they may go a step further in recommending or suggesting
actions based on trip events or conJerrnce participation. In this way, they may answer
such question..~ as, Sh ould our company consider purchasing equipmen t featured at the
trade show? Should other employees attend this conference next year?
Being selective is one o f the keys to writing th is type of report effectively. W h ile the
experience o r work-related travel may he saturated with ideas and activities, its reporting
should he brief and focused on major events, with a maximum of five relevan t an d inter-
esting topics. Use these topics to organize your report instead o f a ch ronological pattern
that can tempt writers to record everything I.hat happened from beginning to end and
leave readers without a dear sense of what the business traveller or conference attendee
gained from his or her ex11eriences. A WTiting plan for trip and conference reports includes
the following elements:
Subject line- identifies the event, destination, and dates of the trip.
Introduction- gives the event/destination, specifies exact dates, ex11lains the purpose
of the trip, and previews main points.
Body-devotes a sect.ion to each main topic, event, or h igh light that will he summar-
ized. Headings may he used for each section.
Conclusion- expresses appredation and may make a recommendation based on the
in formation in t.he report.
Because business travel can he expensive, managers look for proo f that company travel
dollars have been wisely spent. For this reason, an expense report is orten attached to the
trip report.
 10 I INFORMAL REPORTS

FIGURE 10.21

PITCH MARKETING Ineffective Conference

Rl1:AOR1Nfl OUR'l'O:\ffiRfi 'l'Hlt RTOH'r WAY
Report

DATE: May 28, 2013

TO: Natalie Forester

FROM: Ryan Sharma R5

Subject line does not Identify
SUBJECT: Conference the event (name and date)

I was thrilled when you told me that I could attend a conference and even ~ -- 1 Focuses on Irrelevant details
happier when you told me that the company would cover my expenses. Even
though my flight to the conference was delayed for more than four hours and
the airline lost my luggage, I think the trip was worthwhile. Now that I've
returned, I have to tell you that I couldn't believe how much I learned In just
three days. In the paragraphs below I will tell you about this event.

The conference agenda was as follows:

Provides only a generic program
Day 1 Opening reception ~ --
of events, not specific high lights

Day 2 Conference presentations

Day 3 Discussion panels

Does not elaborate on
The presentations I attended were very Interesting and I learned a lot about ~ - details that would Interest
branding. Perhaps In the future I will have the opportunity to share the highlights management

of the conference with you. I think other members of our team would benefit
from knowing more about this worthwhile conference. I met some people and
this could be of value to our organization. The registration fee was very high, but
I would definitely recommend this conference to anyone who would like to know
more about this fascinating subject.

The con ference report in Figure 10.21 is incomplete. In place of specific information
about even ts and accomplish ments, i.t delivers non-essential details of Ii.tr.le inr.erest to
management. What did the attendee learn? How can the knowledge he gained benefit the
organization? What was the destination?
The trip report in Figures 10.22A and 10.22B was prepared by a junior design associ-
ate at K2 Desibrn . Her task in attend ing Professional Trad e Day at the Residential Desibrn
Show in Montreal was to id entify top trends and source new products that might comple-
ment the accessory and furniture collec tions already reatured in her company's retail
space. Pmfessional Trade Day also gave her t.he opportunity to au.end an accred ited design
seminar for which she can earn points toward her professional desibrn designation. The
report is presented in two formals, mem o and abbreviated e-mail. The fi rst report offers a
recomme ndation based on the WTiter's view of the event's value.
 COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS
FIGURE 10.22A
Effective Trip Report
(Memo)
Subject line Identifies event
- -
name and date
Provides event location
and purpose
Previews major topics
Draws attention to major
topics with centred headings
/ (www.ecobrlght.com).
Covers details of Interest to
management
I Bold colour. The trends towards bright colour and a palette that emphasized
K2 Design
Inter-office Memo
DATE: March 28, 2014
TO: Hiiary Stanton, Retail Manager
FROM: Lisa Liu, Junior Design Associate U
SUBJECT: RDS Professional Trade Day, March 24
I was pleased to attend Professional Trade Day at the Resldentlal Design Show
(RDS), a premiere platform for contemporary Interior design. Held In Montreal on
March 23, this one-day event showcased the newest Canadian and International
furnishings, fixtures, and accessories and featured trade presentations by
renowned designers along with accredited ASID and llDA seminars. Trade Day
gave me the opportunity to discover and source new products, make useful
contacts, and further my education towards ASID accreditation. This report
summarizes details of my time spent at RDS Profess Iona I Trade Day.
Top Trends for 2014
Many residential design trends were represented In the specially commissioned
living spaces and exhibitor product lines. I have summarized three of the top trends:
Eco-chic. Organic shapes and materials from renewable resources
Inspired products such as a bamboo console from GreenFX Studio Works
~reenfx.ca) and a stainless steel coll lamp by Ecobrlght Luminaries
reds and oranges were represented by the Red Giacometti Chair from Swish
Designs (www.swlsh.ca), the Orange Mosaic Console from Antic Design
(www.antlcd_eslgn.com), and a red stool by SITI Designs (www.s.J.ttmm).
Patterns and stripes. Textiles In bold, variegated stripes and patterns
reminiscent of Pucci print designs had a graphic appeal and were available
at a variety of price points. Products such as the Summer of Love Chair by
Ergo Designs (www.ergo.ca) and a striped stain less slipper sofa by Furniture
Incubator (www.furnlturelncubator.ca) were typical of this trend.
 1 0 I INFORMA L REPORTS

FIGURE 10.22A

Hilary Stanton 2 March 28, 2014 (continued)

The Orange Mosaic Console and coll lamp have touches of wit that would make
them good additions to our Loft retail collection. Attached Is a complete price list
and source guide to over 100 new products, Including the console and lamp, that
may be of Interest to you and senior buyers.

Keynote Addresses

The international speakers program was a great opportunity to learn first-hand

about the design Innovations and philosophies of Arcshop founder Yves
Aubert and architect Felicia Urbano. Both keynotes stressed the need for
slmpllclty In good design and the Importance of Industrial process In guiding
design decisions.

Accredited Seminars

The accredited seminars focused on the practical dimensions of designing for

clients. I attended "Colour 101" and received expert advice on key pigmentation
factors and home colour trends from colour researcher Alexandra Fullerton. The
Refers to attachments and
attached certificate of completion confirms that I earned one ARIDO CE point ""' - " enclosures
or o_ 1 CEU towards my professional designation.

Sharing Trade-Day Resources

Closes with synthesis of the
With Its balance of design theory and practical product Information, RDS ""' value of the event and a
Profession aI Trade Day gave me Insight Into the residential design Industry and suggestion for action

offered me resources I can share with members of our team to help us source an
exciting range of products for our retai l space. The exposure RDS provides for new
design firms like ours might make It beneficial for our company to be an exhibitor
at next year's show.

Attachment
 COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

A Residential Design Show Professional Trade Day, March 24 R~ 1

From: Lisa Liu <llul@k2deslgn.ca>
Date: March 28, 2014 4:52 p.m.
To: <hstanton@k2deslgn.ca>
Subject: Residential Design Show Professional Trade Day, March 24
Attach: RDS07 Source Gulde.pdf; Colour101 Completion Certlflcate.pdf

Greeting
personalizes ,.. Hello Hiiary,
e-mail

Introduces
As you requested, here Is a summary of my activities at Professional Trade Day at the
report with Residential Design Show In Montreal.
summary
statement Trending watching. After arriving In the evening of March 23, I spent the morning
~ assessing and sourcing over 100 new products In the exhibition hall. I have attached a
Heading ,,.-1
style Is simpler source guide that contains full product Information and price lists. The furnishings, fixtures,
fore mall and accessories on di splay reflected three top trends:

1. Eco-chic. Organic shapes and materials from renewable resources Inspired products
such as a bamboo console from GreenFX Studio Works <www.greenfx.ca) and a stainless
steel coll lamp by Ecobrlght Luminaries (www.ecob.!J.ght.com).
Lists facts
of Interest Bold colour. The trends towards bright colour and a palette that emphasized reds
to maders and oranges were represented by the Red Giacometti Chair from Swish Designs
(www.swlsh.ca), the Orange Mosaic Console from Antic Design (www.antlcdeslgn.ca),
and a red stool by SITT Designs (www.sUtt.com).

3. Patterns and stripes. Textiles In bold, variegated stripes and patterns reminiscent of
Pucci print designs had a graphic appeal and were available at a variety of price points.
Products such as the Summer of Love Chair by Ergo Designs (www.ergo.ca) and a striped
stainless slipper sofa by Furniture Incubator (www.furnlturelncubator.ca) were typical of
this trend.

Learning from design Innovators. At the International Speakers Program In the afternoon,
keynotes Yves Aubert and Felicia Urbano stressed the need for simplicity In good design
and the Importance of Industrial process In guiding design decisions. The residentia l design
roundtable that followed offered good networking opportunities.

FI GU RE 10.22 8

Effective Trip Report (Abbreviated E-mail)

 10 I INFORMA L REPORTS

e Residential Design Show Professional Trade Day, March 24 l!!lliJ Ef

From: Lisa Liu <llul@k2deslgn.ca>
Dote: March 28, 2014 4:52 p.m.
To: <hstanton@k2deslgn.ca>
Subject: Residential Design Show Professional Trade Day, March 24
Attach: RDS07 Source Gulde.pdf; Colour101 Completion Certlflcate.pdf

Earmlng professional designation. I attended an accredited ASID/llDA seminar on

colour pigmentation factors and home colour trends. The attached certificate of completion
confirms that I earned one ARIDO CE point or 0.1 CEU towards my professional designation.

Sharing Professional Trade Day resources. With Its balance of design theory and practical
product information, RDS Profession al Trade Day gave me the opportunity to discover
and source new products, make useful contacts, and further my education towards ASID
accreditation. Moreover, Professional Trade Day provided me with valuable Industry resources
I can share with members of our team to develop new designs and help us source an exciting
range of products for our retail space.

FI GU RE 1 0.22 8

(continued)

Activity Reports
An activity report doL'1.1ments the ongoing activities or projects of a divL~ion o r depart-
ment. Because activity reports are written at regular weekly or monthly intervals, they are
sometimes also called period ic or status reports. These routlne, rentrring repo rts, t)']lically
prepared hy supervisors, help midd le and seni or managers stay informed of activities and
alert to u nusual events that might negatively affect operations and therefore require swift
solutions o r changes ln stratq,,y. Activity reporL~ can contaln a range of lnformat.i.on, from
numerical data on sales volume or prod uct sh ipments to more detailed disL'1.1ssion of key
activi ties. The story an activi ty report tells is developed through the following th ree cat-
egories o r sect.ions:

a brief yet complete summary, listing highlights of activities and projects carried out
during the reporting period
an upd ate on current prohlems and irregularities, includi ng competition news of
interest to managers of for-profit businesses
an overview of needs and forecast of plans ror the next period

An activi ty repo rt should delive r a complete, acc1.1rat.e, and ohjective account of

events--hoth good and had- that have taken place d uring the reporting pe riod . It should
 COMM U N I C ATI N G FOR RESU LTS

he honest and forth right in d escribing the st.ate of reb'lllar activi ties, in noting p rohle1m
that might affect operations, and in tracking the competi tion. Th is type o f report repn:
sen ts a chance to ch eck in with m anagers and info rm I.hem o f p roblems that require their
at.lent.ion and, perhaps, co rrective measures so that the project can con tinue.
The report in Fi gure 10.23 is from a n on-p rofit environ men t.al ed ucatio n o rgan
ization. Among its mandates is a campaign to p romote sustainability in the travel and
touris m ind ustry. This monthly activity report from t.he Sustainable Tourism Campaign
coordinator h ighlights th e status of p rojects and documen ts a problem that requires
quick resolution to ellSure the s uccess of fu tu re commitmen ts. Because this is a non-
profit organi zation, th e writ.er p rovi des an update o n fun di ng initiatives instead o f
sales co mpetition.

FIGURE 10.23

Activity Report
ENVIROWATCH
Working for a Greener Future

Memo format used for

lntemal report -- ~ DATE: March 4, 201 4

TO: Edward Shul, DI rector of Campaigns

FROM: Alex Scott, Sustainable Tourism Campaign Coordinator AS

Subject line Identifies
reporting period - SUBJECT: Activity Report for February 201 4

Activity Summary

The following Is an account of my activities for the period February 1- 28:

Marketing Workshop Sarles. In partnership with the Northland Resort

Association, I conducted the three-day event Workshop on Marketing Sustal nable
Tourism Products. Held on three consecutive Saturdays In Sudbury, the workshops
Identified the main challenges In the promotion of sustainable services and set
out a three-step methodology to help tour, resort, and fly-In service operators
Integrate sustainability criteria Into their business strategies and operations. More
than 120 participants attended the workshops. Of these attendees, 25 requested
,.,--' ,,.. French language translatl:ons of our workshop publications.
Summarizes activities and __.,.-
events carried out during - - -- ~ Consultative Mtttlngs. In Ottawa, on February 17, I met with
the rnportlng period
representatives of Bike Ontario, the Green Tra ils League, and the Fresh
Water Sports Association to discuss t he promotion of bloreglonal tourism
and a proposal to provide support to these associations throug h our newly
launched Travelgreen.ca website.

Launch of Travelgrttn.ca. Over 200 people, Including colleagues and

special guests, attended our reception on February 10 to launch the
 10 I INFORMAL REPORTS

FIGURE 10.23

Edward Shul 2 March 4, 2014 (continued)

consultation phase ofTravelgreen.ca. Provincial Environment Officer Lois

Walsh paid tribute to the site as a platform for promoting co-operation for
conservation In the tourism Industry. Travelgreen.ca has already attracted
more than 300 visitors and averages 11 comments a day from tourist
operators Interested In reducing ecological Impacts In their industry.

Funding News

In the latest funding round, Green Now received a $50,000 grant from the
Simcoe Foundation to raise public awareness of the fight against climate change.
Although this Is good news for the local conservation movement, the awarding
of this grant may minimize the Impact of our own grant proposal to develop
a training package on sustainable tourism. We may wish to re-eva luate our
proposal or target other funding opportunities.

Problems

Eco Print, which produces our campaign literature on acid-free, recycled ""' Describes lrregular1tles that
rnqulre the attention of
paper, will cease operation effective June 30. The closure means that the
management
scheduled September release of our Gulde to Marine Impacts may be delayed
unless we flnd a cost-effective printer with a similar commitment to
environmentally friendly practices.

Needs

Information on eco-frlendly printing businesses In the Ottawa. <11 Highlights special needs
French-language translation of Marketing Sustainable Tourism Products
workshop literature.
ldentlflcatlon of alternative foundation donors and funding sources.
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

Progress Reports
Progress reports monitor headway on a proj ect at various intervals from start-up to
com pletion and summarize what has been done, what is currently underway, and what
remai ns lo be clone. These reportt.s indicate if a project is on sched ule and if any m easures
need to be taken to correct prohlems o r remove obstacles. Progress and activity reports
help managers adjust sched ules, all ocate personnel and equipment, and revise budgets.
They are typically arranged in the follO\vi ng pall.em:

1. Opening summary (no heading)-comments on the status of t.he project in. 1.em1s of
the original sched ule and goals and the probrress that has been made to date.

FIGURE 10.24

Sample Progress Report McAllen & Wallbridge Publishing

The following pro9ress
report is designed to keep
management of a publishing
Inter-office Memo
company informed of the
DATE: January 16, 2014
arrangements for an author's
promotional tour. TO: Suhanna Nair, Editor-In-Chief

FROM: Joanna Vickers, Promotions Manager

Memo format Includes concise,
descriptive subject llne that
creates a focus for the report
Opens with a summary
statement describing the
project and Its proposed
deadline for completion
"Background" establishes
purpose and specla I
requirements
work Completed" describes
what has been done since
the last report and mentions
actions ponding
... SUBJECT: Spring Promotional Tour for Penelope Seward's North Road
This memo describes the progress of plans and arrangements for Penelope
Seward's first national book tour, following the launch of her third novel, North
Road, on April 15 in Toronto. Details of the tour will by flnallzed on February 3,
as you requested.
Background: The launch of Penelope Seward's third novel, North Road,
follows her recent long list nomination for the prestigious IBISS Prize In the
United Kingdom. Her enhanced media proflle In recent months has resulted In
... a high level of Interest from booksellers across Canada. I consulted Ms. Seward
about her preferences regarding scheduling and venues and she told me that
she was amenable to a three-week tour from April 15 to May 7, provided that
no single day requires her to appear at more than two events. I have modelled
Ms. Seward's spring tour on last fall's successful promotional series for John
Sayer's Wiidfire Days.
... Work Completed: In the past ten days, I have contacted major print and
broadcast media outlets, booksellers, and reading series coordinators across
Canada and drawn up a preli minary program of events:

April 1S Toronto Launch at the Blake Hotel, 8:00- 11:00 p.m.

April 18 Toronto Interview with Vivi Jones, Good Morning Canada
(to air at 8:30 a.m.)
 10 I IN F ORMAL REPORT S

2. "Work Completed" sectinn- clescrihes what ha~ hem done since the last report and
notes any problems and solutions.
3. "Work in Progress" section (optional)- lists work currently heing done.
4. "Work to he Completed" section- describes the work that remains and notes any
fo reseeable problems and likely solutions. A wo rk schedule can be included in th L~
sect.ion or under a separate heading.
5. Clos ing/Forecast (no heading)- loo ks ahead to the progress that will he made
between this and the next report and either expresses confidence that the project will
he finished on time or discusses an extension of the project deadline.

FIGURE 10.24

Suhanna Nair, Editor-In-Chief Page2 January 16, 2014 (continued)

Aprll 20 Toronto Book signing at Vermilion Books, 1:00- 3:00 p.m.

Aprll 30 Halifax Reading and book signing at Literati Books,
2:00 p.m.
May4 Saskatoon Reading at Francis Morrl son Library Theatre,
7:00 p.m.
May6 Calgary Book signing at Foothills Books, 4:00 p.m.
May7 Vancouver Books and Brunch, Pacific Hotel, 10 a.m.-noon

Other dates to be confirmed In the next week Include a reading at Harbour Books In
St. John's, tentatively scheduled for May 2, and a reading at Memorial University on
May 3.1 have forwarded advance copies of North Road to all editors and reviewers
on our contact list to expedite the reviewing process In advance of the tour.
work to be Completed"
describes work that remains
Work to be Completed: Airline and hotel bookings will be arranged pending
and mentions deadlines for
fina lization of the tour Itinerary and schedule. I wlll prepare a press release and, anticipated completion
upon your approval, have it distributed to all media contacts by February 14. I wlll
also prepare ad copy, featuring advance praise for North Road and reading-tour
dates, to appear in the April Issue of Books In Canada and In The Globe and Mall's
Saturday books section In mid-April.
Anticipated Problems' looks
ahead to conditions and
Anticipated Problems: If Ms. Seward's second novel, Boneshop of the Heart, circumstances that may
Is among the five IBISS Prize finalists to be announced next week, the Halifax alter the proposed plan
reading on April 30 will have to be postponed until May 1Oto allow her to travel
to England to attend the awards dinner In London on April 29. 1have discussed
this eventuality with Alex Betts, manager of Literati Books, and he Is agreeable to
this scheduling change should It prove necessary.
Closes with confirmation of
By February 3, you'll receive my final report confirming all details, dates, and ~ - delivery time of next report
events for the tour.
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

Job Completion Reports

Job completion reports are typically last in a series of progress reports for a lengthy or sub-
stantial project. Sometimes they are one-time reports arising from a short or small -scale
project. They provide closure, putting the project and what has been learned from it in
perspective. A well-prepared project report ensures shared understanding about the work
that has taken place and any actions that are req uired in response to it. While typically not
more than three pages long, a p roject completion report can he longer if I.he scope and
magnitude o r the project require lengthy analysis and supporting material such as tables
and charts. The bigger the budget, usi1ally the more substantial and detailed the report
will be. This short, infom1ational report uses the direct approach:

1. Opening- provides a concise overview, naming the project and its client, confim1ing
the completion o r t.he project, hrieny iden tirying major tasks or activities, and noting
outcomes, successes, next steps, o r special circumstances.

2. Backgrnund- descrihes the job's purpose, what necessitated the project, who author-
ized o r supervL~ed it, what the original contract called for, who was involved, how
much the project was budgeted at (optional), and who carried out the work. This
sect.ion also identifies the start and completion dates (or schedule) outlined in the
contract or original work plan.
3. Project milestones- identifies all major accomplish ments (work done, targets
reached, and results achieved).

4. Variances-notes deviations from the original plan, including problems encountered

along the way t.hat necessitated additional work ouL~ide the original scope o r the pro-
ject or work that had to he done differently in order for those problems to be solved.
For each exception or revision t.o the original work plan, there should he an explana-
tion of why it was necessary, how it addressed the problem, and how it affected the
project overall.

5. Action- restates the outcome and asks the reader to review the project, respond ,
sign-off, or rollow-up.
 10 I INFORMAL REPORTS

FI GU RE 10 . 25

- - - - Sky Garden Design - - - - Sample Job Completion

Report

June 18, 2013

Audra Holt, Senior Project Manager

Arden Lofts Property Development Ltd.
301 University Avenue, Suite 502
Toronto, Ontario M5J 1K6

Subject: Completion of"Green Roof" Project at Arden Lofts

Dear Ms. Holt:

Installation of a "green roof" at the Arden Lofts condominium property at 105-107

Grenville Street In Toronto Is now complete. Work that was scheduled to start on
February 1 and end on June 3 was extended by four days due to the delays In
project start-up caused by a severe early spring Ice storm. The roof garden Is now
ready to provide outdoor recreational space for tenants due to take occupancy In
mid-July and to offer enhanced energy efficiency and storm-water management
to this 14-storey, 450-unit complex.

Background

The City ofToronto's Green Roof bylaw applies to all new residential
developments with a GFA of 5,000 square metres or greater. In compliance with
this bylaw and Its commitment to sustainable design, Arden Lofts Property
Development Ltd. commissioned my company, Sky Garden Design Landscape
Architects, to design and Install a 500-square-metre extenslve"green roof" at
the Arden Lofts property at 105-107 Grenville Street.

The decision to install an extensive green roof was made to maximize the
planting area without having to adjust the structural loading capacity of the
building. The plan called for the creation of three accessible pathways, a deck, a
dog-run, and two green roof plots, surrounded by approximately 1,000 square
metres of decorative hard-surface concrete pavers. Project partner Fortex Roofing
accommodated the extra weight of the green roof and rooftop recreational
facll ltles by reinforcing the entire roof with steel girders. We then proceeded
to Incorporate a drip drainage/filtering system, quality waterproofing,
root-repellency, engineered growing media, and plants.

53 Borden Street, Toronto, Ontario M74 2M9 Tel. 416 244-1480 Fax 416 244-2311
www.skygardendesign.com

continued
 COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

FIGURE 10. 25

(continued) Ms. Audra Holt

June 18, 2013
Page 2

Project Hlghllghts

The 500-square-metre green roof and corresponding 1,000-square-metre hard

surface area were designed, supplied, and Installed for just over $180,000, slightly
below the $182,000 allocated for this project. Elements of Soprema's Sopranture
green roofing system were used In the accessible extensive roof system.
Sopraflor-X, the growing medium, was selected for Its ability to ding to plants
In windy conditions. A total of 27 different species of plants native to Ontario
were Included In the design, among them pale-purple coneflower, woodland
sunflower, and sedum, a succulent plant tolerant to extremes In temperature. All
plants are under warrantee for one year from the date of purchase. The plants are
now Irrigated with a drip Irrigation system, Installed at a nominal cost of$ 15,000.
Total expenditures are detailed In the enclosed budget.

Installation and Technical Issues

Our team of landscape engineers encountered two technical problems that

had to be overcome: (1) transporting materials onto the roof of the 14-storey
structure and (2) selecting plants that could withstand rooftop winds of up to
100 km/hr. As the building was still under construction, Sky Garden Design worked
with contractors to arrange for the hoisting of growing medium, concrete slabs, and
plants using the crane that was already on site. The use of day Illy and other plants
less resistant to wind and sun exposure, which the plan originally called for, was
curtailed In favour of hardier plants such as sedum and alpine grasses.

Action

The green roof at Arden Lofts, having now passed all Inspections, supports
vegetation that helps to manage storm water, improve air quality, Increase energy
efficiency, enhance biodiversity, and provide outdoor recreational space In a
high-density urban area with limited parkland. At present, no monitoring of the
green roof has been proposed. The condominium association has the option to
create a budget for the replanting and maintenance of the green roof that will
ensure tenants enjoy this urban oasis for many years to come.

Sincerely,

Tom Battleford
Chief Landscape Engineer & Owner

53 Bordon Stroot,Toronto, Ontario M74 2M9 Tol.416 244-1480 Fax 416 244-2311
www.skygardcndcsign.com
 10 I IN FO RMAL REPORT S

Incident Reports
Even the most caring and efficient wo rkplaces with the highest safety standards are not
always ahle to prevent the losses and harm that result From events such as on-site acci-
dents, equipment failure, threats to personal safety, and health emergencies. When trouble
occurs, and as soon as i.t is possible to assess the situati011 after it has stabil ized, the event
needs to be clearly and thoroughly documented. Fair and accountahle business practices,
not to mention occupational health and safety standards, demand it. An ind.dent or acci
dent report helps an organization assess the problem, correct it, and make the changes
necessary to prevent the problem from happening again.
Incident and accident reporting serves a vital purpose in effective risk management
in the workplace. It does so by capturing accidents and incidents, with the potential
to hecome claims, as they happen. Acco rding to the Insurance Iloard of Canada, inci-
dent reports "serve as the hasis ror analyzing the causes o r incidents and acciden t.~ and
for recommend ing risk improvements to help prevent si milar events in the future."
Workers' compensation claims, insurance claims, and lawsuits may hang in the bal-
ance, so it is important that reports of this kind be filed promptly, accurately, and with
due diligence.
Most of the problems that incident and acci-
dent reports document are internal matters, so this
type of report usually foll ows simple memo for-
mat. There is rarely the need ror a document as
long or as detailed as a fom1al report. More typ Many organizations, including
ically, forms or templates are used for this purpose universities, use a standard form for
so the repo rL~ can be filed quickly, with all the incident reporting. For example, see
required information. the University of Winnipeg Safety Office's"Reporting/
Recording Process for Incidents and click on the link to
Incident reports are narratives, muc h like
view its report template: http://goo.gi/U3EwSU
news sto ries, that present facts objectively and,
at the same time, avoid assigning blame. There is
usually a very short time frame for the comple-
tion and submission of an incident report (usually
between 24 and 72 hours). Any delay in reporting
the event must be disclosed and explained. At min-
imum, incident reports should contain the following infomiation:

names and contact infonnation of the supervisor/reporter and any witnesses

a precise and detalled description of the event, lncluding time, place, and names of
individuals involved
an objective assessment of the root cause of the event and recommenclat.ions to pre-
vent a recurrence

Answering all applicable quest.ions and using a direct writing plan, careful language,
and factual details will result in a complete and thorough report. When preparing an inci-
dent report, include the following sections:

Subject line: identifies the precise prohlem o r event and t.he elate it occurred.
Opening: provides a brief summary statement noting the incident/accident, the date
it took place, who it priniarily affected, an d what the result was.
 COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

FIGURE 10. 26

Sample Incident/Accident
Report
National Precast Concrete
Inter-office Memo

To: Lucinda Harvey, Chief Officer

Environmental Health & Safety

From: Scott Li sgar, Site Supervisor

Date: February 7, 2014

Subject: Skid-Steer Loader Accident on February 6, 2014

The following report summarizes an accident that occurred on February 6, 2014,

Involving Joseph D'Alessandro (Employee #62651). The Injuries he sustained
resulted In three days of lost time and a one-hour work stoppage at a commercial
construction site at 1119 Avery Boulevard, Oshawa.

Accident Summary

On February 6, 2014, 58-year-old Joseph D'Alessandro, a concrete truck driver

employed for 12 years at National Precast Concrete's Oshawa facility, sustained
Injuries when he was struck and knocked down by a skid-steer loader. The
accident occurred at 9:10 a.m. on a gravel section just outside the workslte trailer
at the Maple Grove property development site.

Accident Detalls

On the day of the Incident, It was windy, with Intermittent freezing rain. Mr.
D'Alessandro had taken shelter Inside the trailer as he waited for the arrival of a
contract worker he was assigned to train that day. Mr. D'Alessandro, who suffers
from a disability on the left side of his body, had just descended a set of wooden
stairs leading out of the trailer when he stepped Into the path of the skid-steer
loader as It was backing up at a speed of approximately 15 km/hr.

The contract worker, Jeremy Grant, who was just arriving at the site, shouted at
Mr. D'Alessandro and waved his arms to warn him that the skid-steer loader was
backing up. Mr. D'Alessandro, who was wearing a hood and a heavy woolen hat
and who had turned his head back towards the trailer to avoid a heavy gust of
wind, later told co-workers Jack Yip and Victor Plavzlk that he thought Mr. Grant
was greeting him. A few seconds before Impact, the sound of the skid-steer
loader's motor alerted Mr. D'Alessandro to the approaching danger, but his limited
mobility prevented him from moving out of the way completely. He was struck on
the left side and knocked to the ground. When his head struck the gravel

Skid-Steer Loader Accident Report, February 7, 2014

 10 I INFORMAL REPORTS

FIGURE 10. 26

pathway, Mr. D'Alessandro suffered facial lacerations, later requiring 20 stitches, (continued)
and lost consciousness for several minutes. The skid-steer operator, Mr. Adams,
Immediately dialed 911 and Pete Wurlitzer, a foreman equipped with a first-aid
kit and defibrillator, checked Mr. D'Alessandro's pulse and respiration. Emergency
medical services arrived at 9:20 a.m., within minutes of the phone call, and
Mr. D'Alessandro was taken to the hospital where he was kept for observation
overnight after complaining of headache and dizziness. He was diagnosed
by consulting physician Dr. Alexandra Cho at Oshawa General Hospital as
havl ng suffered a mild concussion; he was advised not to return to work for
three days.

Of the 1Oemployees and contract workers on site at the time of the accident,
Mr. Grant, Mr. Yip, and Mr. Plavzlk, whose contact Information can be found In the
company registry, were standing on the gravel pathway within 10 metres of the
accident when It occurred and had unobstructed views of the coll Isl on. The
Information contained In this report Is based on on-site Interviews conducted
with the three witnesses in the hours following the accident.

The workslte trailer sustained minor damage to Its aluminum siding when the
skid-steer loader went out of control after hitting Mr. D'Alessandro. Damage Is
estimated at under S100. On brief Inspection, the skid-steer loader did not
appear to be damaged, but It will be taken out of service until a full mechanical
eval1uatlon can be conducted. The Initial Inspection o:fthe vehicle revealed that
Its backup alarm and electronic sensor were not functioning.

The accident and Its aftermath, during which time photographs were taken of the
accident site, accounted for a work stoppage of one hour and ten minutes. During
that time, all work at the site ceased and did not resume untll 10:20 a.m., after
police who were called to the scene and EMS personnel had left.

Rcommndatlons

To prevent slmllar occurrences, our company should consider the following

actions In the future:

Conduct weekly Inspections to ensure backup alarms and electronic

sensors on all skid-steer loaders are functioning.
Conduct monthly face-to-face reviews of reversing procedures with all
drivers of skid-steer loaders rather than relying on a one-time viewing of
a one-hour PowerPolnt presentation.
Erect barriers separating areas where heavy equipment, such as the
skid-steer loader, Is used from commonly used pathways.
Institute a policy requiring workers-on-foot to maintain minimum
clearance from skid-steer loaders.

Skid-Steer Loader Accident Report, February 7, 2014

COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

Body: gives a precise descriptioll o r the problem:

What happened?
o Where and when did it happen?
o What was the exact sequence of evenL~ leading up to the incident?
o What type of equipment, if any, was being used? What materials, if any, were
involved?
Was anybody hurt?
o What type of injury occurred?
o What body part and which side o r the body were affected?
o How severe was the inj ury? H known, what type of treatment was required?
o Was first-aid administered? Was a physician req uired?
o Did the injury result in lost time or a change/reduction in duties?
Was there any property damage? What was the approximate value of material
damage?
Was there a work stoppage? How much time was lost?
What were the contributi11g factors? While making it clear when you are speculat-
ing, what was the root cause o r t.he event (e.g., unsafe equipment, lack of trailling)?
Conclusion: follows through on the assessment by describi ng if the accident o r inci-
dent was preventable and what has been, can be, or will be done to correct the prob-
lem and alter conditions that led to its occurrence.

Problem-Investigation Reports
Problem-investigatioll repo rts are written for two reasons: (1) to provide inromiation or
research that does not result in action or recommendation, as follow-up to a request, and
(2) to document how a problem has been resolved. Investigation reports must clearly
describe an issue that is up ror .s tudy, whether that involves repairs, reorganization, the
purchase and installation of new equipment to add ress old inefficiencies, the launching
o r a new project or initiative, or the allocation of people, space, or resources. The rollow-
ing plan outlines the organization of this type of direct-approach informational report.
Descriptive headings (applied to each section except the opening summary) are most
effective in helping to preview the organizatioll o r this type of report:

Summary of Main Poin ts: defines the problem, notes its cause(s) and resolution, and
notes any further steps that should be taken.
Background or History: establishes the reports purpose and sets out the circ."l.1m-
stances in which the problem was discovered and the causes of the prob lem the
report investigates.
Approach and Findings: describes the methods and approach taken and cri-
te tia applied in resolving the problem. lt al~o reviews findings and disc1.1sses their
significance.
Conclusion: notes what has been or should be done and by whom. lt also bri eFly
outlines any disadvantages of the proposed solution and states how the co rrected
problem makes for a better o utcome.
Appendix or Attachment (optional): supplies supporting data and evidence that
cannot be easily included in the preceding sections.
 10 I INFORMA L REPORTS

Unitas Shoes
To: Jill Brody, President
From: Gustavo Suarez, IT Manager
Subje ct: Eliminating Loss Resulting from Data Mobility
Date: February 10, 2014

The purpose of this report Is to explore the problem of data mobility and the risk It poses to our
intellectual property (IP), proprietary personal Information and customer data, and ultimately to
revenue and profits at Unltas Shoes.

Background

As the maker of exclusive, high-end footware and luxury leathergoods, Unltas enjoys a unique
position In the Canadian marketplace In competing with foreign brands such as Christian
Louboutln and Jimmy Cho and In having secured a niche market of discriminating buyers
throughout the country and more recently In select centres such as New York and London. Our
unique designs are showcased at Toronto Fashion Week, Montreal Fashion Week, and other
headline events In the fash ion Industry. Our beachhead Into Canadian and foreign markets has
been enhanced through extensive exposure In publications such as Elle Canada and Fashion and
a print-ad campaign In Vogue. All of these factors contribute to Unltas' remarkable 20 per cent
growth In sales In 2013 however, that growth cannot be sustained If the distinctness of our brand
Is not protected.

Instances of corporate theft are on the rise In all Industries, and the fashion Industry Is no
exception. Users find It relatively easy to take data away on a USB drive, by burning a DVD, or
even by using e-mail for this purpose. The reality of present-day data mobility In an Internet- and
network-connected world Is that any data that resides on Internal storage devices Is at risk.

At Unltas, there has been one confirmed breach to date. The centerpiece of our Fall 2013
collection, John Ruddlngton's design for an aubergine suede stiletto, was leaked via e-mail by
an Intern who had secured permanent employment with one of our competitors. The design
was then copied and mass produced using quick-to-market manufacturing techniques and
Inferior materials and fabrication. The security breach was discovered by the lntern's supervisor
two days after the Incident, but It was too late to reverse the damage that had been done. The
shoe was featured In the window display of every Rock Bottom Shoes outlet weeks before our
design made It to market. Although the discrepancy In quality was appreciable, especially to our
discriminating customers, the design had lost much of Its cache and sales were sluggish, with
projected sales for the product falling flat by slightly over $18,000.

Findings

Companies in a slmilar position to Unltas' have several options for stemming the flow of data
loss through data mobility. The first step Is to conduct a loss-prevention audit. A data-protection

Eliminating Loss Resulting from Data Mobility Page 1

FIGURE 10.2 7

Sample Problem-Investigation Report

COMMUNICATING FOR RESU LTS

audit Is a systematic and Independent examination to determine whether activities Involving the
processing of personal data are carried out In accordance with an organization's data-protection
policies and procedures.

To ensure this process runs smoothly, It will be necessary to encourage and secure the support
of all staff. The two loss-prevention auditors I contacted, J & B Associates and Tucker-Bonwlt
IT Support, estimated that an audit of this kind In a company the size of Unltas would take
approximately one week. Our company must also take steps to ensure that we are In full
compliance with the Personal Information Protection and Electronic Documents Act (PIPEDA),
which establishes laws that regulate the collection, use, and disclosure of personal Information
by private-sector organizations. For this purpose, we may need to revisit, review, and update
our company privacy policy. The audit and any measures that result from It must be In full
compliance with data-protection standards. Alms In this process are as follows:

To assess the level of compliance with all data-protection acts.

To assess gaps and weaknesses In the data-protection system.
To provide Information for data-protection system review.
To verify that there Is a documented and up-to-date data-protection system In place
and that data are protected at rest, In transit, and In use.
To verify that all staff are aware of the existence of the data-protection system, fu lly
understand It, and know how to use It.

After an audit has been conducted, companies experiencing data loss have several options
beyond this, Including disabling USB ports and having dlskless laptops. The Inconvenience and
severity of these measures, however, might create significant work-flow Issues and cost us the
goodwill and morale of Unltas employees.

Companies such as Ferrari have been able to avert losses by deploying the latest version of
security software that offers multi-factor authentication, database encryption, a secure virtual
perimeter, and disk and fi le encryption. In a well-publicized case, Ferrari was able to quickly
detect a theft of IP when a former employee lifted designs for special gases to be used In the
tires of the company's Formula One racing c.ars. New security software from Verdasys, as used by
Ferrari, and other software leaders Including McAfee and Digital Watch Dog, provides a level of
protection not offered by our current security software. To Implement a Digital WatchDog 6
security system at Unltas would cost In the range of $10,000to$15,000 a year, but those costs
would be partially offset by a reduction In lost revenue that normally resu lts from data loss.

Concluslon

Although conducting a data-loss audit can cause temporary disruption to workflow and raise
concerns among employees that they are under suspicion, this routine activity, along with the
upgrading of data-loss prevention software that secures data across the connected enterprise,
significantly reduces the threat of data loss. At this time, I ask for your authorization to Initiate
this process by conducting a search for a data-loss prevention auditor.

Eliminating Loss Resulting from Data Moblllty Page2

FIGURE 10. 27

(continued)
 10 I IN FO RMAL REPORT S

Summary Reports
Managers and other decision-makers must have a full understanding of an issue hefore
they can formulate a solut.ion to the issued-related problem. To do this, they must have
access to dear, credihle, and concise information that can help them grasp the fundamen
tals of an issue quickly and easily. Without the time to review quantities of information on
their own, husy managers rely on well-prepared summa1ies that put key facts and opin-
ions at their fingert.i.ps.
Writing a summary report involves careful analysis of source documents, su ch as
journal and newspape r articles, and the ability to distinb'1.1L~h essential infonnation From
amplifying material. To write a summary report that accurately reflects the organization
and emphasis of the original article, follow these steps:

Scan, then carefully read, the source material. Scan the article for its general topic
and overall organization , then read it carefully and identify its central ideas. Underline
significant facts. Studying keywords and headings can provide important dues to the
information that may be most vital to your summary.
Decide what you can do without. Elimi nate amplifying material. Try to condense
the material to one-third to one-fifth the length of the original or less, if possihle.
Use underlined poin ts to create a draft of your summary. Hold to the structure
of the original material but use your own words and add transitional expressions to
make the sentences in your draft fit together. Do not introd uce new material that was
not in the original article o r document.
Add introductory and dosing remarks that provide context. Indicate the title and
auth.or of the source material and offer to provide futther information as needed.

ANALYTICAL REPORTS
learning to write informational reports is good preparation for the greater challenges of
analytical reports. Whereas the former emphasize the presentation of facts, the latter pass
on information with the intent of persuading readers to follow a specific course of action
or recommendation that is support.ed hy the reasoning of the report's findings and conclu-
sions. llecause analytical reports are pers1.1asive, they must be organized strategically based
on the reader's prohahle resistance or receptivity to the proposed plan. A good plan that
L~ presented too quickly- hefore the reader can see the reasoning behind it-can spark a
negative reaction. An indirect \'l'riting plan, with its more gradual approach to recommen
elation-making, can sometimes help readers see the logic of a recommendation they might
have heen ready to reject.
The "analysis" in an analytical report is focused on h ow to solve a specific organiza-
tional prohl ern.

Which health insurance package should our company choose?

Should we open an overseas branch?
Which brand and model of laser printer should our company purchase?

There are several different types of analytical reports- justification/recommendation

reports, feasibility reports, and comparL~on/yardstkk reports-each organized to answer
a specific type of question.
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

Problem Statements, Problem Questions, and Purpose Statements

An effective hi1siness report, in its organized presentation of facts, functions in a very
specific way: to answer questions and 1.0 solve one or more real and significant problems.
Identifying the prohlem that the repo rt is meant to donmient and solve is a first step in
approaching the writing task. This sim ple step allows you to (1) understand what the real
prohlem is (e.g., Art: a clothing rf'tailer's declining profiL~ due to high ovt:rhead, poor customer
service or inventory control, or ineffective marketing?); (2) narrow the problem dovm so that it
L~ solvable in the available time; and (3) ensure that you have the righ t data and evidence
to document the problem and make recommendations that lead to a solmion.
Prohlem statements are most effective when they are un ambib'l.lOUS and precisely
defi ned:

Problem Statement: A recent breach of on line security has forced Ridgeway Products to
move from one-factor authentication to two-factor authentication
practices in order to ensure the greatest possible security of
company and customer data. Ridgeway must decide on the safest
and most convenient type of two-factor authentication.

Problem Question: What type of two-factor authentication should Ridgeway Products

use to ensure the highest degree and most convenient form of
online security?

Problem Statement: The cost of maintaining a fully staffed human resources

department at First Rate Financial has soared in the past five years.
First Rate must determine if the outsourcing of some HR functions,
such as payroll, would be a cost-effective solution.

Problem Question: Could First Rate Financial reduce HR functions by outsourcing

functions such as payroll ?

The type of problem question th at is asked determines the type of analytical report that
must be wri tten in order to propose a solution.

Recomm endation report: What should we do to increase efficiency of otir printers?

Feasibility report: Should we expand our customer base by intmdudng a line of products
that appeals to teens?
Yardstick report: Which of three proposed options would enable APL Technologies to
upgrade its file servers?
Once the problem has been analyzed and written down, i.t can he crafted in.to a con -
cise purpose statement that helps to hring focus and perspective to I.he project or inves-
tigation and serves as a reminder of what the report is meant to accomplish. An. effective
purpose statemen t sets out clear action-specific objectives (for example, to investigate, ana-
lyze, compare, evaluate, or recommend) and notes organiz ation.al connicts, challen ges, and
tech nical problems the report must address:

Purpose Statemen t: To investigate a possible reduction in HR costs through the out-

sourcing of certain functions, such as payroll, at First Rate Financial.
 10 I IN FO RMAL REPORT S

The more complex a report, the more elahorate a purpose st.atemmt can he in describing
the scope, lim itations, and importance of the investigation the report documents:
Scope- What are the factors or issues to he explored? What is the amount of detail
to he presented?
Limitations- Do any special sr.andards or cond itions (hudgetary, technical, geo-
graphical, or logistical difficulties or limits on time or resources) apply to the investi-
gation? How might those conditions affect I.he findings and how hroadly they apply
to the situation?
Importance- Wh y is it import.ant that this prohlem he solved right now? Can the
prohlem be solved? How severe is the problem?

These additional factors, supported by specific, quantifiable facts (how much? when?),
contribur.e to a more detailed purpose statement:

Detailed Purpose The purpose of this report is to investigate the outsourcing of

Statement: certain HR functions, such as payroll, as a means of reducing HR
costs at First Rate Financial. The report will compare costs for four
HR service providers. It will also poll employee reaction to proposed
outsourcing of payroll services and determine the effect of HR
downsizing on company morale. The study is significant, as contracts
for four of the five current payroll specialists are due to expire at the
end of the fiscal year and outsourcing payroll services could reduce
costs, which increased by more than 25 per cent since 2013. The study
is limited to payroll costs and outsourcing in the Central division.

Justification/Recommendation Reports
Justification and recommendation reporl<; are persu asive documents, submitted within
a company, that make suggestion..<; for new or improved facilities, equipment, processes,
capital appropriations, or o rganizational change. Because their purpose, like that of pro-
posals, Lo; to advocate or argue for a specific course of action, justification and recmnmen-
dation reports are sometimes known as internal proposals. Reports of this kind must first
establish that a problem exL<;ts. Then they persuasively and ohjectively huild a ca<;e based
on complete, accurate, and relevant evidence l.o show how the proposed course of act.ion
represents a viable and benefici.al solulion to the repo rt problem.
While some organizations have a prescrihed fmm for recommendation reports, in most
other cas-es writers can choose from two strategic wii ting plans depending on the sensitive-
ness of the topic and the receptiveness of the aud ience to the proposed plan. Topics that
are unl ikely to upset readers or raise objections can he approached directly. More sensitive
topics and recommendations that readers might oppose require an indirect approach Lhat
minimizes resistance by persuading readers of a plans benefitS hefore asking for action.
A direct writing plan front.loads both Lhe report problem and the recommen-
dation ror a solution to Lhat prohlem. Here are the steps in organizing a direct plan
recommendalion report:

Describe the problem and establL<ih that it needs a solution; provide any hackground
information the reader might need for decision-making.
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

Offer a solution to the problem or announce the recommendation.

Explain t.he benefi ts oft.he plan , supported by evidence.
Discuss potential drawbacks and costs and just.ify ex11enditures. Compare possible
alternatives.
Summari ze the benefits oft.he recommended action. Express willingness to provide
additional info rmation Hit is required.

How far writers can go in making recommendations and ex11ressing opinions depends on
what their organizat.ions have authorized them to do in prepari ng their reports.
An indi rect writing plan can help writers win over cautious or reluctant audiences. Its
strategic approach moves more gradually towards a well-supported recommen dation-
the strongest option that has first been show11 to be logical and better thai1 all the
other alternatives:

Indicate the problem but avoid referring to your recommendat.ion in the subject line.
Open wit.h a clear, credible, and compelling description of the problem; persuasively
establish that the problem is serious, signi ficant, and in need of a solution; provide an
overview of data-collection methods and report o rganization.
Discuss altem at.ive solutions stratebrically, from least to most effective. Weigh the pros
and cons of each and provide cost comparisons when needed.
Present the most viable alternative- the option you intend to recomme nd- last.
Describe its benefits and show how its advantages outweigh its disadvantages.
Evidence presented should support your conclusion and recommendation.
Summarize your find ings and announce your recommendation; if appropriate, ask for
authori zation to proceed.

Figure 10.28 contains a sample direct recommendat.ion report based on the follow-
ing situation. Chain-wide sales of cosmetics, grooming products, and over-the-counter
med icines at Wellness Drug !vi.art have been sluggish over I.he past year, eve n di1ring
high-traffic periods. The assist.am market.ing manager proposes that a pilot project be
implemented at one of its under-performing pham1acies to test the use of an on-site
pagi ng system that would encourage c:ustomers who would ot.herwL~e remain in line at
the dispensary to browse the store and make additional purchases. Because the plan is
low cost and easy to implement, I.he writer expects little resistance and has decided to use
a direct writ.ing plan .
Fib'ltrt: 10.29 contains a sample indirect recommendat.ion report based on the fol-
lowing situation. The report. is m:ganized indi rectly because its purchase recomm endation
requires employees to learn about and adapt to new technology that they might not have
the training to use. The writer o! this report chooses to present a less effective alternative
first in order to build support for an option that represents a supe ri or solution to t he prob-
lem of lost contracts for short-turnaround projects.
 10 I INFORMAL REPORTS

FIGURE 10. 28

Wellness Drug Mart Recommendation Report:

Direct Writing Plan
Applies memo format for
DATE: July 8, 2013
lntemal report

TO: Julie Marco, Vice-President

FROM: Havier Perez, Assistant Marketing Manager HP

SUBJECT: CONVERTING STORE TRAFFIC INTO RETAIL SALES

A busy store is usually a sign of healthy sales. Although traffic flow throughout ... - Introduces report problem
our retail pharmacies continues to be high, In the past year the conversion of
browsing Into sales has dropped by a rate of 12 per cent. Customers pass through
the doors of our stores and wait In line by the dispensary while their prescriptions
are Aiied but do not make purchases additional to their medicine orders.

In-store polls have Indicated that customers standing In line are dissatisfied with
the amount of time spent waiting. Recent store performance reviews showed,
however, that Wellness Drug Mart customers wait no longer than 15 minutes on
average for their prescriptions to be filled. This misconception of external wait
times Is a common one. A recent retail study found that people standing In line
perceive that they spend more time waiting than they actually do. To reduce the
perception of extended wait times and to encourage customers to buy as well as
browse or wait In line, I recommend that we do the following:

Purchase 1O pagers as part of an on-site paging system.

.,. __ Reveals recommendation
Immediately

Conduct a six-month pilot test on pager use and Its effect on sales In our
underperformlng Woodburn Avenue store.

How On-site Paging Systems Work

Explains the product
Pagers, Including a range of models developed by market-leader Beckon Inc., "" - - and Its use
have been used In the restaurant Industry for nearly 15 years. These compact,
battery-powered, rechargeable devices allow restaurant patrons the freedom
to step out of line and go outside or to the lounge area of the restaurant while
they wait for their tables. The device vibrates, flashes, or glows to alert patrons
that their table Is ready. Loss of pagers due to theft or forgetfulness Is minima!
because an anti-theft, auto-locate tracking mode pages continually until the
device Is returned.

This technology has recently been adopted by Bargainers Drug Mart Inc. to
encourage customers to browse more throughout the store while they wait.
Pharmacy customers at Bargainers now have greater control over how they spend
their time In the store until their medicine order Is ready.

continued
 COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

FIGURE 10.28

(continued) Vice-President Marco 2 July 8, 2013

An on-site paging system, similar to ones used by restaurants and our competitors,
is a relatively low-cost and low-maintenance solution. The number of paging units
required can be determined by dividing the average wait time In minutes by 1.5.
A five-pack of pagers Is priced at $279.72. Beckon specializes In pharmacy paging
systems. Consumer guides rate Its products as the most durable on the market. The
devices operate on a UHF FM frequency (420-470 MHz) within a two-mile range. They
are powered by low-cost nickel-metal hydride batteries and battery life Is 48 hours
on a single charge. Only a limited number of pagers would have to be purchased.

How an On-site Paging System Could Benefit Us

Lists benents for readability
and emphasis
.... An on-site paging system, requiring 1O pagers, would help us Improve customer
service and encourage sales In three ways:

1. Minimized wait times. A paging system would allow customers the freedom
to browse without the fear of losing their place In line. The time customers
would have spent waiting they can spend the way they want to, with less
potential for boredom. Time spent productively should help reduce the
perception of long wait t imes.

2. Increased customer conversion rates. Customers can shop while they wait.
In-store traffic should result In higher sales and a better browsing-to-buying
conversion rate.

3. Improved customer service. Impatient customers waiting for their

prescriptions to be fllled frequently Interrupt staff pharmacists to ask about
the status of the medicine orders. These Interruptions result In service errors
and slowdowns and can compromise the privacy of other customers. A
paging system would boost staff efficiency so that prescriptions could
be fil led faster and conmltatlons about dosages, drug interactions, and
side-effects could be conducted more privately once an order has been filled.

Summary and Action

I recommend that you do the following:

Gives speclflc details of the
actions to be taken Authorize the purchase of 10 Beckon pagers at $279.72 per five-pack, along
with a transmitter and chawger package priced at $345.97.

Approve a six-month pilot test of the paging system In our downtown Calgary
location that provides pharmacy customers with guest pagers and tracks the
conversion rate of store traffic to sales.

Enclosure
 10 I INFORMA L REPORTS

FI GURE 1 0.2 9

BASKERVILLE Printing Recommendation Report:

Indirect Writing Plan
Inter-office Mem o

DATE: October 18, 2013

TO: Austin Wiison, Vi ce-President

FROM: Mirella Herzig, Production Manager Mil

Subject line highlights benefits
SUBJECT: MEETING HIGH-VOLUME PRINTING DEMANDS without referring to the
recommendation
At your request, I have examined methods of lncreasl ng printing output and ..____i-- Identifies the report purpose
redl.!lclng turnaround time while maintaining current quality standards and colour and data collection methods
printing capabilities. To carry out this study, I have consulted Industry associations
and reviewed professional publlcatlons; I also networked with Industry contacts
about their output systems.

This report presents data documenting the severity and significance of the ... _ ,_
Previews report organization
problem, two alternative solutions, and a recommendation based on my analysis.

Slgmlflcance of Problem: Lack of Speed and Flexlblllty Results In Losses

Establishes the scope
Until recently, our offset lithographic environment has been effective In ... - I and significance of the report
driving volume; however, since late 2012 our company has not been equipped problem
to meet the Increasing demand for short-run work, such as real estate books and
stock prospectuses, which now accounts for 65 per cent of our business. Due to
slow turnarounds on short-run rush jobs, many of our longtime customers are
reluctantly turning to our competitors for quicker delivery and overnight service.
Revenues for the first and second quarters of 2013 were down by 15 per cent from
the same period In 2012, In part due to the loss of accounts for short-run business.

Another source of customer dissatisfaction Is a lack of flexibility In the service

we provide. Other print shops have the capablllty of updating large print runs
on demand without having to commit to one version for the entire run. When
one of our customers Inspects advance copies and decides changes are needed,
an entire press run, often in excess of 10,000 copies, has to be discarded. Below
are two solutions other print shops have Implemented to red uce turnaround
times and eliminate waste.

Alternative 1: Purchase a Reconditioned Offset Press

Desrlbes the less effective
The option that would present the fewest changes to workflow Involves the ...,.---+-- altematlve fl rst
purchase of an offset press, Ideally one of a new generation of presses that use
computer-plate systems and offer ease of operation, ergonomic design, and
quality enhancements. Offset lithography continues to be the most common

continued
 COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS
FIGURE 10.29
(continued)
Evaluates alternative
obJectlvely
Arranges alternatives
strategically, with the
most effective last
Vice-President Wiison 2 October 18, 2013
high-volume commercial printing technology. Offset presses, Including the
reliable Graumann models we currently use, deliver high Image quality, offer
unsurpassed flexlblllty In the choice of printing medium, and are cost effective for
high-volume printing jobs. The front-end cost load of offset printing reduces the
unit cost as the size of the print run Increases. As a result, customers are eligible
for substantial volume-based discounts.
.- Other key advantages of offset technology Include limited downtime and low
costs for maintenance. Lithographic equipment rarely breaks down. Service calls
are Infrequent because veteran operators can usually troubleshoot and fix certain
offset problems. A workforce like our own that Is already accustomed to offset
technology and famlllar with the existing offset Infrastructure could be quickly
and easily trained, at minima I cost, to use a slightly more advanced lithographic
press of similar design to ones already In the pressroom.
Although customers appreciate the quality and cost-effectiveness offset offers on
high-volume jobs, they are generally dissatisfied with extended delivery time and
high unit costs for short runs. The purchase of an offset press might help to drive up
overall volume, but It would n.ot address the shortfall In short-run capability we are
currently experiencing. Although cheaper models are available, the most reliable
offset presses offering the greatest flexlblllty are expensive. Purchasing a slightly older
or reconditioned model would reduce costs. The price range listed below Is typical.
Cost range: $65,000 to S110,00 for a one-colour to five-colour Graumann
Prlntmelster GTO 52 offset press
.-... Alternative 2: Purchase a Colour DigItal Press
A less expensive, long-term solution Is to purchase a colour digital press. A digital
press Is a computer-controlled device. Unlike an offset press, It Is plateless and
uses electrostatic toner Instead of Ink to Image virtual printing forms (Henry,
2007, p. 1). In digital printing, many of the mechanical steps requ ired for
conventional printing, such as colour proofs and films, are eliminated, and less
drying time Is required. DigItal presses have quick turnaround on short-run jobs,
and as a result attract their own volumes.
DigItal capablllty allows commercial users to load a project file received via the
Internet, print a proof, run the job, and trim the sheets In under an hour. The
benefits for printers Include reduced set-up costs for small press runs and easy
customization of pieces sucht as client brochures and letterhead. Electronic
updating Is possible on demand, even In the middle of a press run. Dig Ital presses
also take the guesswork and ambiguity out of achieving colour consistency and
now offer an almost unrestricted selection of sheet sizes, Including sheets as large
as 14 x 20 Inches.
 10 I INFORMAL REPORTS

FIGURE 10.29

Vice-President Wiison 3 October 18, 2013 (continued)

Although digital presses may be offllne more frequently for maintenance, good
vendor support can minimize lost production time. The cost of consumable
Items such as Image drums may add to operation and unit costs, but Industry
specialists advise that digital-press purchasers should negotiate an all-Inclusive
click rate that reflects the actual cost of maintenance, parts, labour, and supplies.
Lithographers who make the transition to digital print production can expect to
spend up to six months phasing In the new technology and Integrating It with
their current workflow (Henry, 2007, p. 4).

Cost: $10,000 for Xylon's GraphX digital press, with 36 ppm colour output
and 40 ppm black-and-white output

Conclusions and Recommendations

Links need to recommended
Our print shop built Its reputation on a guarantee of speedy delivery and quick ~ solution
turnarounds. The majority of our business, which comes from real estate and
brokerage houses, depends on the continued capability of our shop to provide
quality, cost-effective services for multi-format, high-volume print jobs and short
run work. If our goal Is to genuinely do the most that we can for our customers,
we should embrace a combination of technologies and Integrate digital output Summarizes flndlngs and
systems Into our offset environment. Done well, the work that dig Ital capablllty 4;- - 1 - gives reasons for making
would help to recapture could qualify our company for more offset jobs and make recommendation
our business a one-stop source for the printing services that customers demand
the most. Although the Integration of digital technology will Involve workflow
adjustments and start-up training, It will help our business stay competitive and
secure the last-minute jobs we might miss without the addition of this technology.
Reveals recommendation
I recommend that we purchase a digital press within the next three months. ~ based on loglc of flndlngs
With your approval, I will Investigate possible printer options for our company and conclusions
based on brand name, cost, required features, run length, maintenance, and
envl ronmental factors.

References

Henry, P. (2007, March). Going digital, staying lithographic. American Printer, 1-8.
 D COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

Feasibility Reports
Any new project, from the purchase of new equipment and consolidation of deparnnents
to the development of products and services, involves risk and the possihility that the
project may fail or not work out as expected. Before und ertaking a new project, organiza-
tions must determine the projects chances for success hased on whether it is possihle or
practical, economically wise and viahle, and consistent with internal and puhlic percep-
tion of r.he organization. Feasibility reports present evidence on the advisahility o f doing a
project or proceedjng with a specific course of action. Does it make good husiness sense?
L~ it right for the company? Is it p ractical and workable according to certain criteria? Can
the company afford the costs involved? Feasibility reports answer these types of questions
based on specific c1iteria and careful analysis. Managers rely on the evidence and advice
that feasibility reports present wben deciding whether to commit resources and go ahead
with a project. Because managers most wan t to know if a plan or project is doahle, feas-
ibility reports use a direct writing plan to announce the decision first:

Opening paragraph: identi fies the plan and reveals your decision/ recommendation
ahout it; offers an overview of the report.
Introduction/Background: descrihes the problem or circumstances that led to the
report and discusses the scope, methods, and limitations of the study and the amount
of data that could he collected to answer the feasihllity question.
Discussion: in logical sequence, presents a detailed analysis of the benefits and 1isks
of the plan along with other positive and negative factors, a calculation of costs, and a
sched ule for implementation; when appropriate, presents graphical t:lements to sup-
port data and interpret the results.
Conclusions: summarizes data and significant findings.

The report in Figure 10.JO assesses the feasibility of converting an unused side-lot
and an office st.orage room into space that employees of a puhlishlng house could use for

A 2013 feaslblllty study

regarding subway construction
In Scarborough, Ontario,
found that an at-grade/
elevated subway Is " technically
feasible" but that further
Investigation Is needed.
The study also ex.a mlned
alignment and station
considerations, environmental
Impact, Implementation
considerations and schedule,
and cost estimates (http://
www.metrollnx.oom/en/docs/
pdf/2013091 o_Scarborough_
Subway_Feaslblllty_Study.pdf).
Sourco: () Torontonl11 n/Ala my
 10 I INFORMA L REPORTS

t:!I Feaslblllty of Side-lot and Storage Room Conversl ons l!!I~ El

From: Devon Andrews-Smith <andrewssmlth@baskervllle.ca>
Date: January 13, 20141:15 p.m.
To: <rdelgado@baskervllle.ca>
5ubj~ct: Feaslblllty of Side-lot and Storage Room Conversions
Attach: IGeneral Contractor Assessment.doc
HI Mr. Delgado,
Announces
The proposed conversion of a 200-square-metre side-lot and Interior storage room to - the decision
replace lost recreational and lunchroom space Is workable. It Is possible to fully execute the Immediately
plan by the end of May, when the 15 full- and part-time staff members currently working at our
leased off-site facil ity transfer to our Moncton location. This report discusses the background,
Outlines report
benefits, problems, costs, and time-frame associated with the Implementation of this plan.
organization

Background: Inadequate Lounge Facilities and Loss of Lawn Space. The construction
of our new on-site distribution centre has brought Immediate and long-term benefits, Discusses the
problem and
Including the single-site consolidation of shipping and receiving operations, Improved
background to
Inventory management, and a quadrupling of our storage capacity to 700,000 units. Because the report
this 10,000-square-metre facility now occupies a former green space where employees
gathered In good weather for lunch and coffee breaks, staff members are now without a
designated outdoor recreational space and have no option but to eat and socialize Inside.
The result has been an overcrowding of our 30-seat lunchroom. The lunchroom simply
cannot accommodate our 70-member staff during the peak noon to 2:00 p.m. period.

This problem of overcrowding will likely become more severe as the remaining 15 staff
members at our leased Saint John faclllty relocate to our main office and distribution centre
overthe next three months. These problems were factored In to an assessment carried out by
outside general contracting consultants, who Indicated that the structural soundness of our
offlc,e building would permit relatively low-cost renovations. Describes the
advantages and
Benefits of the Plan: The proposed plan calls for (1) the creation of a combined green space _ _ __,_ disadvantages
and patio space through the re-sodding and landscaping of a partially-paved, 200-square- of the proposed
plan
metre side-lot currently used for overflow parking and (2) the enlargement of the staff lunch-
room through the removal of a drywall partition that separates the lunchroom from Storage
Room B, followed by the Interior redecoration and Ilg htlng redesign of the 10 x 14 metre
space. The plan proposes practical repurposlng of under-utilized space on our premises. One
of the objectives In bringing all staff on site, Instead of having them In two locations, was

continued
FIGURE 10. 30

Feasibility Report
 COMMUN I CATING FOR RESU LTS

A Feasibility of Side-lot and Storage Room Conversions R~ 1

from: Devon Andrews-Smith <andrewssmlth@baskervllle.ca>

Date: January 13, 2014 1:15 p.m.
To: <rdelgado@baskervllle.ca>
Subject: Feasibility of Side-lot and Storage Room Conversions
Attach: General Contractor Assessment.doc

..
to promote collaboration and goodwill In the workplace by alleviating the malaise and Isolation
experienced by offslte workers. Providing attractive and functional Indoor and outdoor spaces
In which staff can socialize wlll help to Improve morale and working conditions and contribute
to the maintenance of good professional relation ships between office and warehouse staff.

Problems of the Plan: Loss of Overflow Parking, Work Disruptions, and Safety Hazards.
A foreseeable problem will be compensating for the loss of three overflow parking spaces
that are generally unused, but which may be needed as more staff members are brought
on site. With the re-appropriation of ten of the current twenty spaces reserved for visitor
parking, I expect that the shortage of staff parking could be eliminated with limited
Inconvenience to our customers, suppliers, and visiting authors.

Another problem Is ensuring a safe and healthy working environment while the Indoor
remodelling Is carried out. Noise from Interior demolition and remodelling may disrupt
employees In adjacent areas while they work; fumes from paint, drywall compound, and
other chemical agents may present a hazard to office employees and resu lt In downtime.
In compliance with the Occupational Health and Safety Act, we expect to conduct periodic
environmental assessments to monitor hazard levels and confine most construction activities
to weekends and after-hours.
Presents costs
.,. Costs. Implementing this plan Involves direct, one-time costs for landscape design, Interior
and sch~ule
design, construction and landscaping material, fixtures and furnishings, building permits, and
general contracting. Barring any structural weakness In our building, the costs Involved are
within the $80,000 estimate for the project.

Time Frame. Drafting a request for proposals and Initiating the bidding on contracts for
remodelling and landscaping projects should take us about one week. With time allowed for
project development and the submission of bids, the review process wlll take another five weeks.
Once construction begins, I expect that the remodelling and landscaping work wlll take at least
two months. By July 1 the plan for expanded and upgraded Indoor and outdoor recreational
space wlll be fully Implemented, with benefits for employee morale and work environment.

FIGURE 10.30

(continued)
 10 I IN FORMA L RE P ORTS

lounging and recreation. The recent construction of a large distribution centre at the same
location has deprived employees of a grassy area t.hey once used as a place to eat and relax
in good weather. With additional staff returning from an off-site dis1.ribu1.io11 centre and
joining the workforce at head office, the lunchroom will no longer accommodate t.he full
staff during the busy lunchtime pe1iod. The report is presented in e-mail fo1mat.

The Comparison/Yardstick Report

Yardstic:h is a term that describes a standard for compa1ison. A yardstick report compares
and evaluates two or more solutions to a single problem to find the best solution, or it
weighs several options for acting on an opport.uriity. Th e report begins by establishing
criteria- standards by which all options can he measured fairly and consistently. Criteria
can take several rorms: they can be dictated by management (for example, cost limits)
or they can emerge from the study research. Some criteria are necessary (need to have)
while other criteria are simply desirable (nice to have). Once identified, the criteria used
for measuring the options can he followed by an explanation of how the criteria were
selected. The criteria can al~o be used as bolded headings in the body of the report, where
information for each category is weighed and presented. Conclusions are drawn about
each option.
A report using a yardstick approach answers the quest.ion, Which option is best? To
make si1re readers understand the reasons for choosing one option over anothe r, writers
can organize their information in 1.he following order:

Identify the problem, need, o r opportunity that led to the report.

Determine the options for solving I.he problem or alternatives for realiz ing the
opportunity.
Establish the criteria for the comparison of options; explain how the criteria were
selected.
Discuss each option according to the criteria; draw in ferences from the data and make
an evaluation of each option.
Draw conclusions by ranking all the options or classifying opt.ions into acceptable/
unacceptable categories. Consider if the problem, company resources, or priorities
have recently changed in a way that might affect the concl usions.
Make recommendations based on the findings and conclusi.ons.

Figu re 10.31 presents a comparison report based on the following situation. An estab-
lished telecommunications company, Instanet lnc., plans to hire an agency specializing
in the management of corporate events. To showcase the organ.izat.ion t.o maximum effect
and build relationships with employees and investors through its corporate functions,
lnstanet must first determine which among several well-respected Bm1s can deliver the
services i.t needs Ln a way that is appropriate to the company image.
 COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS
FI GURE 10.3 1
Comparison Report
Introduces purpose and
provides overview of - - .. At your request, I have Investigated the posslbllity of lnstanet hiring full-service
report organization
ldentlfles problem and
discusses background
Combines functional and
descriptive headings
--
Presents a solutlon and
options for Its Implementation
DATE: February 6, 2014
TO: Mike Vizcarra, Vice President
FROM: Manon Dupuis, Public Relations Director MD
SUBJECT: CHOICE OF CORPORATE EVENT PLANNING SERVICES
event planners to strategically develop and produce Its corporate functions and
new product launches. This report discusses current problems with the standard
planning and hosting of corporate events and sets out criteria for the selection
of a corporate-event management company that would best enable lnstanet to
meet Its marketing goals and build client and employee relationships. The report
assesses three prospective corporate-event companies In Winnipeg and makes a
recommendation based on that assessment.
Problem: Producing Memorable Corporate Functions and Events
With the goal of Increasing Its proflle and enhancing Its relatlonshlp with
stakeholders and the general! public, lnstanet Initiated a program of unique
and Innovative corporate functions In 2010 that to date has Included golf
tournaments, merger events, and gala dinners. With our company's recent mer-
ger, the scale of these events will Increase and demand a higher level of
loglstlcal support and coordl nation than can be provided by our current team
of dedicated staff volunteers. Costs to produce these large events may be
significantly higher. As a result, lnstanet must ensure that Its corporate events
meet strategic goals, minimize potential liability, and bring expected returns on
Investments. Staging our events safely, successfully, and memorably wlll help us
to attract Investors and set us apart from the competition.
.. Solution and Alternatives: Corporate-Event Management Companies
Event management firms provide strategic development and loglstlcs services
to corporations, non-profit associations, governments, and soclal groups In the
hosting of events and activities that reward employees, celebrate mllestones,
facllltate communication with stakeholdlers, aid In fundralsing, and Increase an
organization's proflle. Whlle some corporate-event management firms speclamze
In one specific type of event, such as conferences, others offer a wide range of
services. lnstanet requires a fu ll-service management firm with the expertise,
artistry, and precise logistical capabllltles to produce many different kinds
of events.
 10 I INFORMA L REPORTS

FI GURE 10.3 1

Vice President Vizcarra 2 February 6, 2014 (continued)

Our priority Is to find an event management firm that will perform event
strategy assessment specific to our company and tailor events to our company
Image. As our mission statement upholds a firm commitment to accountability,
accessibility, and diversity, our company events and choice of an event
management firm should reflect these standards. I have Identified three
prospective full-service event management companies In the Winnipeg that can
deliver services that meet our marketing and corporate culture needs: Boudreau
& Hodges, The Unique Event Group, and Encore Events.

Determining Selection Criteria

Outlines criteria and explains
The criteria I used to make my selection among the three firms Is based on how criteria were sel!!Cted
government publications, professional articles, a web search of event
management sites, Interviews with officials at certification agencies and at
companies using event management services, and conversations with the
prospective service providers. The following are three categories of criteria I
used to evaluate the management firms:

1. Event management services- Including catering and d~cor coordination;

training of speakers and volunteers; accommodation, venue, and
entertainment booking; VIP hosting; audiovisual production; development
of substantive sessions for conferences; and media IlaIson, promotion, and
public relations communications.

2. Reputation- as assessed according to professional association listings,

professional certifications, testimonials from past and current clients, and
telephone Interviews with known clients.

3. ~-for management and consultancy services.

Discussion: Criteria-Based Evaluation of Event Management Firms

The following table summarizes comparison data on the services and reputation
of each of the three firms.

continued
 COMMUNICATING FOR RESULTS

FIGURE 10.31

(continued) Vice President Vizcarra 3 February 6, 2014

Table 1

A COMPARISON OF SERVICES AND REPUTATION FOR THREE

WINNIPEG CORPORATE-EVENT MANAGEMENT FIRMS

Boudreau The Unique Encore

&Hodges Event Group Events

Event strategy assessment Yes Yes Yes

Venue/entertainment selection Yes Yes Yes
Training of volunteers Yes No No

Summarizes data for

conciseness and readability
. Catering coordination
Management of hosting activities
Yes
Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes
Marketing promotional assistance Yes Yes Yes
Selection of promotional gifts Yes No No
Coordination of NV production Yes Yes Yes
Media liaison Yes Yes No
Canadian Special Events
Society certification Yes Yes No
Certified protocol officer Yes No No
Reputation (by survey of clients) Excellent Good Fair

Event Management Services

Compares and contrasts
altematlves
Services offered by all three firms were comparable, with the exception of the
recently launched Encore Events. The companies differed in the way they
outsourced essential services and employed part-time staff.
The Unique Event Group and Encore Events do not have resident hospitality and
catering experts or protocol officers, and they typically outsource all catering
functions to third parties. Companies that have used services of this kind report
that this catering arrangement can bring Inconsistent results, with hit-and-miss
menu selections and cost-overruns. Without a protocol officer, whom etiquette
experts agree Is essential to the success of high-profile VIP functions, any of our
company events that Include dignitaries or participation from other countries or
levels of government would be subject to embarrassing breaches of protocol in
 10 I INFORMAL REPORTS

FIGURE 10.31

Vice President Vizcarra 4 February 6, 2014 (continued)

the areas specified In Heritage Canada's Protocol Checklist: http://www.pch.gc.ca/

.P!Q9S/cpsc-ccsp/pe/list e.cfm. Boudreau & Hodges employs a graduate of the
Western School of Protocol and a Cordon Bleu chef who oversees menu theme
development.

Encore Events does not currently have the resources to employ full-time event
managers. lnstanet would need assurances that Encore Events could provide a
consistent level of service and support with Its part-time staff; otherwise, Encore
Events Is better suited to producing small-scale conferences and seminars, which
It can support with Its exceptional technical services Including a dedicated
audlovlsual department, on-site graphics department, and onllne conference
registration.

Reputation

To evaluate the reputation of each event management company, I consulted Its

membership fisting with the Canadian Special Events Society (CSES), a non-profit
organization that represents the Interests of the Special Events Industry In Canada
and offers a certification program. Both Boudreau & Hodges and The Unique
Event Group are members but Encore Events Is not. Boudreau & Hodges and The
Unique Event Group are also members of the Winnipeg Chamber of Commerce.

In surveying recent client feedback and summaries of event experience, I found

that each firm caters to a specific and decidedly different cilentele. Encore Events
specializes In providing services to start-up companies defined by an urban,
under-40 demographic and chooses unconventional locations such as Industrial
warehouses as event venues. The Unique Event Group has special expertise In
staging exhibits, shows, and awards galas In the arts community and fashion
Industry. Boudreau & Hodges Is a service provider to publicly fisted corporations,
slmlllar to lnstanet, and has produced federal summits and dinners hosted by the
prime minister.

In assembling further evidence of each firm's reputation, I conducted telephone

surveys to determine the degree of client satisfaction with services received.
Client names and numbers were supplled to me on request by the event
planning firms. For the sake of consistency, I telephoned three former clients
of each firm and asked the same questions in each case. Most of the company
officials I spoke with were satisfied with the services they had received.

continued
 COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

FIGURE 10.31

(continued) Vice President Vizcarra 5 February 6, 2014

Costs

The fees schedules for all three firms are summarized In Table 2, which sets out
a comparison of costs for planning and consultancy. Other fees, for catering and
venue booking, are on a sliding scale based on the type of event, location, and
number of guests or registrants.

While all three companies guarantee value-added services and respect for cl lent
budgets, Boudreau & Hodges has the highest fees but also offers the most
flexible work arrangements, Including the outsourcing of staff on a monthly
Refers to data rrom table ____,_ retainer basis. Because Boudreau & Hodges and Encore Events pass on
professional discounts to their clients, their somewhat higher consulting fees
may not necessarily translate to higher overall budgets.

Table2

A COMPARISON OF COSTS FOR PLANNING SERVICES

Boudreau The Unique Encore

&Hodges Event Group Events

Event strategy assessment $1,800/sesslon $1,400/sesslon $1, 700/sesslon

(one time)
Project manager $175/hr $150/hr $190/hr

Conclusions and Recommendations

Eliminates less effective
altematlves rrom consideration
- .,. Although Encore Events has a dedicated slgnage and graphics department that
Narrows tne cnolce
enables it to produce event slgnage at reduced costs, It does not offer flexible
pricing options and Is not listed as a member of the Canadian Special Events
Society. These deficiencies make It a less viable option; therefore, the choice Is
between Boudreau & Hodges and The Unique Event Group. As both companies
offer similar services and charge comparable management fees, the deciding
factors are reputation and markups on third-party disbursements. Boudreau &
Hodges has an experienced staff with protocol training and background In
planning Innovative, large-scale events on local and national levels for FP Top-100
companies. It stands by a commitment to pass on all professional discounts to
clients. The Unique Event Group, on the other hand, has a younger, hipper Image
but a less business-oriented client fist, and It may be more expensive because It
does not disclose the discounts It receives on outsourced services. Therefore, I
recommend that lnstanet hire Boudreau & Hodges to plan and produce Its
corporate events.
 10 I INFORMAL REPORTS

Format and Design

D Is the format of your report appropriate to the purpose and audience?
D Are headings, white space, and graphic highlighting techniques used to enhance
content and improve readability? Are headings consistently parallel?
D Does the subject line, if one is used, summarize the topic(s) of the report or encourage
reader receptivity?
D Is information organized for easy comprehension and ret ention and adapted to meet
readers' needs?

Informational Report
D Does your report answer a specific question? Is the purpose of your report made clear
in the opening paragraph? Does your report begin directly? Does your report supply
sufficient background information to bring the reader up to speed?
O Is information arranged logically and methodically? ls information divided into
subtopics?
D Are the tone and style appropriate to the audience?
D Does your report include a summary or an offer of further information?

Analytical Report
D Is your report organized strategically, according to a direct or indirect writ ing plan?
If you expect readers to be receptive, are the conclusions and recommendations
summarized at the beginning? If you expect readers to be resistant, are the conclusions
and recommendations reserved for the end?
D Is the purpose of your report clear? Has the problem you are attempting to solve been
fully identified?
D Are findings presented in a thorough and logical way? Are findings supported with
evidence? Do the findings lead logically to conclusions?
D Are the conclusions supported by facts and evidence? Do they relate to the problem
identified at the beginning of the report?
O Are the recommendations, if they are required, action-specific?
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
i[ WORKSHOPS AND DISCUSSION FORUMS
1. An11lyze Gr11phics. Collect a sampling of graphs and
cham. Good places to st.art include busines.~ puhHca-
tions, such as the financial pages of daily newspapers
(Report mi Business or the financial Post) and husiness
magarilles (Canadian Business, The Ernnomist, Report (JI!
Bw;iness Magazine). Try to find at least one example of
each type of graphic. Determille if each brraphk is well
desibrned and appropriate for the eiqilanation it sup-
ports. Critique the appeal of the graphic (Does it add
interest? Does it make data speak?) and trade opinions
on any unusual graphics you may have found.
2. M11tch Gr11phics to Objedivu. In a group or individ-
ually, identify the type of graphic you would use to
plot the following data. Consider if more than one
type of graph ic or illustration could he used:
a) figures showing the n umher of female students
WRITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES
1. Distinguishing betwHn lnform11tion11I and An11lytical
Reports. Fo r each of the following situations,
determine if yo u must write all informational or
analytical report:
a) You h ave just returned from a conference you
attended at t.he expense of your company and
must advise your supervisor of the details.
b) As you do eve ry month, you must infom1 man-
agement of the numher of customer-service calls
you have received, summarize activities and
events performed during the report period, and
note any irregular events.
c) Yo u have heen asked hy your employer,
Muskmissio n.com, to recom mend three arts-
relate:d charities to which the company might con-
sider donating money on an annual hasis, to assess
the relative meriL~ and needs of each, and to sug-
gest which of the three the company should select.
d) You have heen asked hy your boss, the chief of
product development, to investigate the feas-
ihility of adding a Senomyx flavouring to you r
company's canned minestrone soup as a means of
enrolled in university engin eeri ng programs
nationwide over the last five years
b) figures showi ng an Internet auction companys
share price between January 2013 and January
2014
c) figures showing the revenue and earnings for the
same company in the years 2012 and 2013 (year
ending December J l )
d) a comparison of revenues from three divisions of
a company from 2008 to 2013
11) figures showillg the income of a national dough-
nut franchise hased on its three leading products
f) figures comparillg the sales of those three prod-
ucts over the past ten years
g) data showing cities in Callada with the highest
rat.es of ohesity
reducing salt hy up to one-third and eliminating
the use of MSG. Pending government approval
of t.he flavour compound, you will examine iL~
poten tial health effects.
2. M11tching Typu of Reports to Situ11tion Duc:riptions.
Identify t.he type of report you would write in each of
the following cases:
a) A report addressed t.o your boss, identifying a piece
of equipment that should he upgraded or replaced.
b) A report requested hy your manager, provid
ing an overview of smartphones (a subject she
knows little ahout) and how they might be used
hy appliance sales associates.
c) A report requested hy the head of your companys
donations committee, prospecting four new char-
ities in the fields of education and community
se rvice.
3. Identifying Types of Headings. From the list of head-
ings below, identify which are descriptive heads and
wh ich are functional heads.
a) Costs
b) Personnel
 10 I IN FORMA L REPORTS

c) Richmond Hill Costs Less
d) Findings
e) The Manufactu1i11g Process
f) Situation 1
g) Survey Shows Support for Software Upgrade
h) Parking Recommendations: Valet Service
4. Making Subheads Parallel. Revise the following
subheads so that they aU use the same grammatical
st.ruc:ture.
New Challenges for Human Resources Management
Providing Employees with Disabilities with the
Tools to Succeed
We Must Adjust to Older Employees
7. Analyzing Graphics. For each or the graphics 7a, 7b,
Can We Accommodate Employees Involved in
Family Care?
Dealing with Intermittent Absences Caused by
Chronic Conditions
5. Differentiating between Conclusions and
per cent); writi ng a draft (5 hours/1.6.66 per
cent); revising the dra ft (2 hours/6.66 per cent);
and typing and editing the repon (6 hours/20
per cent).
c) Figure 1 shows the percentage of students, fac-
ulty, staff, and administrators who participated
in the survey: students (63 per cent), faculty
(22 per cent), staff (9 per cent), and administra-
tors (6 per cent).
d) Figure 5 shows the annual ratio of sales clos
ings to sales calls, by sales representative: Lauren
McAllister (80: 102); Rosa Santorini (76: 105);
Jorge Diaz (95:107).
and 7c, write a brief explanation to support it.
7a)
70
~ 60

Recommendations. Indicate whether each or the fol-

8 50
0 40
lowing statements could be labelled as a conclusion g 30
ii!
or a recommendation. ~ 20
10
a) Sit.es A and B are not viable because they are o ~~~~~~~~~~~

located in the suburbs and lack access to majOT 1 23 4 12 34 1234 1 234

2010 2011 2012 2013
highways.
b) Choose Site C, which offers direct access to major 7b) Cellular Subscribers per Capita, 2013
bighways and a growing market in the downtown
core.
c) Archway Company should revi.ew the curren t
benefits package.
d) Develop an online marketing campaign.
e) A two-factor authentication system can he fully
implemented by the end or 2011.
Canada 28.5 ltaly73.7
6. Designing Graphics. For each of the following
explanations, design a graphic or illustration that 7c)Top S Companies for Loans to Executives and Directors
conveys the data most effectively No. of Value of
company loans loan>($ mll.)
a) From 2008 to 2013 (year ending December 31},
annual home-building-supply revenues (in mil- Wellstate Corp. 9
lions) were as follows: $1.50 in 2008, $155 in
Barnes International Inc. 3
2009, $187 in 2010, $191 in 2011, $196 in
2012, and $197 in 2011. Better loans Inc. 5

b) In preparing a report, your time in both hours Fair Dealings Ltd. 7

and percentages will be used as follows: gath-
Logistics Holdings 7
ering infonnation (10 hours/J.L l.1 per cent);
analyzing info rmation (4 hours/l.3.33 per cent); 0 5 10 1S 20
Data sourct-: Canada's Buslntn Mo9aztnt
preparing a recommendation report (1 bours/10
 COMMUN I CATING FOR RESU LTS

8. Spotting Design Flaws. [ach of the graphics 8a, 8b, have no problem with the C:NG software. An
8c, and Rd contains an error. Can you identify what experienced systems analyst is now correcting the
is wrong in each case? problem and IS expected to complete the project
la) Und.,graduate Enrolment by Faculty within the next month.
Arts and Sciences SSW. b) Your team project is to provide an expanded

Eng"-<lng 15'16
database for the IMS. Before work on the project
begins, you must seek authonzation to hire two
Business 12'16
new engineers familiar with the system.
Nursing 11'6 c) Your companys training manager has asked you
Architecture 7"' to seek information about the hasic English pro
gram that was adopted hy Rix Technologies. You
have been asked to assess whether some or all
of the Rix program elements could he applied
Bb) Loonle Dives
DAILY CLOSE, US CENTS to the produclion of an emp loyee manual at
84( your company.
10. Analyzing and revising problem questions. Revise the
follo\ving problem queslions so that they are narrow
enough and allow for solu1inns 1hat can he Investigated
and implemented within a three-month time frame.
a) What new techniques can Edgeco Indus tries use
Apr. May
to solve the prohlem o f waste disposal?
Be) Transport Truck Accidents b) How can Reverb Electronics market its products
to teens?
c) What are the best businesses to invest in in
developing countries?
d) How can the university improve student services?
) What initiatives should the municipality under-
take to huild a greener, more sustainahle com-
munity before next years election?
llllll l009 2010 lllll lOll IOU
11. Writing problem statements and purpose statements.
Bd) Computer Sales and Leasing by Year Write a prohlem statement, purpose statement, and ,
AutoSale. if applicable, a detailed purpose statement for the fol-
I! 15 lowing repon situations:
JI Auto leasing
~ a) Avatar Entertainment, which operntes and has
~
..5
10
interest in 448 theatres across Canada, relies on
-
~
5 timely access to inrormation to make cril ic:al busi-
ness decisions. rinding and sharing critical infor-
2010 2011 2012 l01l mation, howeve r, has hecome a complic:at.ed and
Year difficu lt task. Wir.hout an in1egrat.ed IT strategy,
Avatar currently runs muh iple hack-end systems,
9. Matching Reports to Situations. For each of the fol-
each with diffe re nt user interfaces. Employees
lowing si1ua1ions, iden1lfy the type of repo rt you
looking for information of1en have to employ dH-
would wriLe and discuss how lCJ organize it.
ferent search criteria hased on the system they are
a) Your team project is to provide an expanded
searching \vithin. Avatar wonders H having a sin-
da1abase for the In formation Management System
gle ponal for its IT structure might help improve
(IMS). The IMS has been delayed. The original
search functionality and make tt easier for users
schedule was based on the assumption that the
to find, use, and share critical information.
systems analysL responsible for the project would

b) Elegance Bridal Studio has been a retail clothing
specialist offering a range of bridal gowns, vells,
and accessories for over forty years in a competi
tive market. Elegance is concerned that its trad-
itional fashion sensibility, modest online ret.ai.1
presence, and conservative store image have con
trihuted to a gradual decline in sales since 2012.
It is now Septemher, with the highest volim1e of
sales typically falling between January and June.
Elegance Bridal Studio must act quickly if it hopes
to win back sales during this important period.
c) Over the past year, operations at Arcan Investment
Solutions have been compromised hy the forced
evacuation o r physical lockdown of the huild -
Lng that houses its call centre and administrative
offices. At one point, an overnight elecl.rical fire
Ln 1.he buildings heating system sent thick, acrid
smoke billowing into most. parts of the facility.
The heavy concentration of smoke made the aiT
unhreat.hahle, leading to serious environmental
and occupatio nal health and safety concerns.
While the company infrastructllre was intact and
& ASE STUDY EXERCISES
1. lnvH tigative Repo rt. As assistant coordi11 ator of spe-
cial events for Salk Pharmaceuticals lnc., you have
heen asked hy the coordinator of special events, Tom
Byington, to investigate three di fferent models o f
GMRS (General Mobile Radio Service) two-way rad ios
with which to equip the five team leaders during your
annual three-day team-building wildemess retreat.
The radios must be ahle to work within a range of
8 to 11 kilometres, the distance of many treks and
canoe trips. Because teams may he outdoors and
away from the co11ference centre for up to four hours
at a time, 1.he radios must have a long battery Hfe.
You 11ave learned of three reliable hrands: the Corsair
PR1100-2D (unit price $120), which according to
co nsumer reports has dependable reception and
easy operation hut does not reach the rated range;
the Unicall T6500 (unit price $120), which feamres
good outdoor reception and funky styli ng hi1t a short
battery li fe and inadequate range; and the Unicall
GMR85 (unit price $125), an all-round good radio
that fares well in different weather conditions and
10 I IN FOR MAL REPORTS
the server rooms were operational, employees
were forbidden from entering the bi1ilding imt.il
a full health and safety assessment had heen com-
pleted and prohlems caused by residual smoke
damage had heen corrected. The workforce,
which included more than 200 call centre agents,
could not he mobilized for two days. Arcan is
worried that it will lose even more business if it
does not take steps to put a data protection and
disaster recovery plan (DRP) in place. Arcan won
ders which type of web-based dL~aster recove ry
system might he right for the company: a bridg-
ing of primary phone lines with celllular phones,
a remote access communication system provided
by a disaster recovery specialist, or a sol ution
that involves the use of virtual private networks
or IP phones that could he quickly shipped to a
temporary call centre. Due to the volume of cus-
lO'rner complaints that foll owed th e fire-related
lockdown, Arcan has decided that it needs to act
quickly and budget generously for the implemen-
tation of a disaster preparedness plan.
has excellent sound, despite the fact that it does not
reach the rated range. The Unicall GM885 has a hat
tery life of 25 hours compared \vith 12 hours for the
Corsair and 14 hours for the Unicall T6500 model.
Prepare a report in which you present your findings
to your supervisor.
2. Investigative Report. For a course or program in
which you are currently enrolled, suggest three
potential field-trip destinations that tie in with course
content: husinesses, ind ustries, financial institutions,
government agencies, museums, or resource centres.
For each excursion, note the size of group the venue
accommodates, discuss the all ocation of time and
resources as we ll as any special an-an.gernents that
may be required, and calculate the expenses involved
in undertaking the field trip. Considei: the purpose
and educational value of each trip.
3. Periodic Report. If you are currently ot molled in a
work-study program at your college or university, pre-
pare a periodic report [or your course instmctor or
work-placement officer in which you document your
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
work-related activities over the past month. Disc.'l.1ss
any irregulaii ties on the job and highlight solutions to
problems you encountered and any special needs.
4. Investigative Report. Write a short investigative
report that summarizes fact-finding you have done
and makes recommendations toward the pmchase
of a car, a computer and/or office eguipment, a cam-
era, or a personal electronics item. Review the criteria
you used and options you considered hefore making
your purchase.
S. Progress. Report. Using the plan outlined in this
chapter, write a progress report that summarizes the
status of a work , volunteer, or recreational project in
which you are involved or a term report you are cur-
rently preparing.
6. Progress Report. As chief contractor for Grande
Construction Company, prepare a progress report for
Hilary Murdoch, owner of Ilest-Temp Employment
Services, advising her on t.he status of renovations to
her new downtown office, located in a heritage prop
erty. Work is progressing on schedule, perhaps even a
little ahead of what you had expected. Although the
cost of certain materials is higher than your original
bid indicated, you expect to complete the project
without exceeding the estimated costs hecause the
speed \vit.h which the project is heing completed will
reduce labour expenses. Materials used to date have
cost $90,850 and labour costs have been $217,000
(including some subcontracted electrical work).
Your estimate for the remainder of the materials is
$85,000; remaining labour costs should not exceed
$73,000_ As of April 1.5, you had finished all plumb-
ing work, plus the installation of the circuit-breaker
panels, m eters, service outlets, and all sub-floor wir-
ing. Replacement of the heating and air-condition-
ing syste m is in the preli minary stages. You have
,,.
L.. ONl.1 NE ACTIVITIES
1. Graph Type Exercise. Complete t.he three exerdses on
this web page from Statistics Canada.
www.stattcan.gc.ca/edu/power-pouvoir/ch9/
exer/5214820-eng.htm
2. Questionnaire Exercise. Read the compre hensive
Statistics Canada web page on important aspects of
questionnaire desibrn:
scheduled the upgrading of the cen tral office and
adjoi ning sto rage facilities to take place from Ap ril
30 to May 15. You expect the replacement o f all dry-
wall, resurfacing of all wood noors, and installation
of lighting systems will take place from May 16 to
June 2. You see no difficulty in completing all work
by the scheduled date of June 16.
7. Recommendation Report. As the circular.ion manager
of Allt:gm, a free monthly music magazine covering
t.he local classical music and jazz scene (circulation
35,000), you would li ke to gain a hi gher profile
for your publication and increase the advertising
revenue on which it depends. One way to achieve
these goals is to host and sponsor a free llllncht.ime
salon se ries of five jazz and classical concerts, held
on consecutive Sundays in April and May at a local
restaurant. You already know of several outstand-
ing solo art.ists and ensembles that charge nominal
performance fees and would he suitable additions to
your program. The restaurant proprietor has previ-
ously let out space for free for similar events. Write
a memo addressed to Hal Friedman, publisher and
editor of Allegro. Although you know Mr. Friedman
dislikes change of any kind, you feel the series could
succeed based on similar initiatives taken by well-
regard ed music guilds and organizations in your area.
Decide whether a direct or indirect strategy would
be appropriate.
8. Recommendation Report. Could one of the services
at yom un iversity or college- the computer lab, cafe-
teria, health services, campus bookstore, or parking
system- be more efficient? Assess its quality and effi.
dency based on your own observations and expe ri-
ences and suggest appropriate changes in a report
to the presiden t of your student council or the dean
of students.
www.statcan.gc.ca/ed ulpower-pouvoir/ch 2/
questionnaires/5214 775-eng.btm
Then complete the guestionnaire exercise on the
follmving Statistics Canada page.
www.statcan.gc.ca/ed ulpower-pouvoir/ch 2/
exer/5214909-eng.htm#link02
LEARNING OBJECTIVES

1. Identify elements of Informal and formal s. Apply the writing process to formal reports.
proposals.
6. Develop a report work plan for a formal
2. Distinguish between proposals and formal report.
reports.
7. Write a report as part of a team.
3. Conduct research by generating primary data
8. Identify elements of formal reports and
and collecting secondary data.
document sources.
4. Apply standards for evaluating research
9. Draw conclusions and develop
material from a variety of sources.
recommendations from report data.
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
proposal a business document
that suggests a method for solving
a problem or that seeks approval
for a plan.
Internal proposal a persuasive
document that attempts to
convince management to spend
money or to Implement plans to
Improve the organlL'Jtlon.
external proposal a proposal
Issued to governmental or
private Industry clients outside
an organlL1tlon as a means of
generating Income.
request for proposals
(RFP) a detailed document
requesting proposals and bidson
spcclHc projects.
CAN THE HLOOK" of reports and other corporate communications Improve business
performance? The Society of Graphic Designers of Canada (GDC), In association with
market research firm Harrls/Declma, polled over 500 Canadian business owners and deci-
sion-makers In 2010 to answer this question. Melanie MacDonald, GDC executive director,
says It was time to take stock of Canadian businesses' commitment to design, given what
she sees as Canada's lag In understanding the economic benefits:
It has been more than a de.cade since a study focusing on design buyers has been
conducted. As the national professional association for graphic and communication
designers In Canada, we are well acquainted with the realities experienced by design-
ers promoting their services In our ever-changing economic landscape. It Is our hope
that the Information gleaned from this survey will help professional designers where
opportunities exist, and enable businesses to take advantage of design.'
The survey confirmed that nearly two-thirds of the participants saw a connection between
better design and better business performance. Respondents from central Canada were the
most likely to hire a designer to help with marketing and communications.>
Proposals
More than simply providing facts, proposals fill a need hy suggesting the means for solv-
ing prnhl ems. Proposals, in otheir words, offer to do something- for example, to provide
goods or services or to assess, develop, and im plement a plan. A proposal writer's ultimate
goal Ls to persuade readers to follow or approve those plans or agree to their development.
Depending on its type, a proposal may ask for action, business, or fonding. T.t may stay
within an o rganization (internal proposal), suggesting changes or improvements ln much
the same way that recomm end ation and justification reports do and add ressing q uestions
such as the foll owing:
How can this idea save money? When will t.he savi ngs occur and how much does the
company stand to save?
How can this new proced ure boost productivity or sales?
How will this plan make the company mo re competitive?
More o rten, proposals are sent to potential clients or customers outsi de the organ-
ization (external proposal) as a means of generating income. External proposals can
he solicited or unsolicited, competitive or non-competitive, though most are written in
response to a request for proposals (RFP) issued by com panies and government agen
des. Essentially a sales presentation, a proposal formalizes the subm ission o r a bid for a
contract. Once entered in competition, a proposal goes up against those from other hid-
ders so that the best method and ultimately the most qualified contract.or can he found .
Unsolicited proposals involve a different challenge: convincing readers that a need o r
prohlem in fact exists.
Not all proposals look alike. They may be infom1al--often just several pages prepared
in memo form- o r fo rmal- dozens or even hundreds of pages divided into multiple parts
and prepared hy a team or writers . Like other romis o r persuasive \VTiting, proposals stress
reader heneHts and offer both proof and assurances that whatever is promised can he
 11 I PROPOSALS AND FORMAL REPORTS

RFPs are often used In the

non-profit Industry. Once
a year, the Elton John AIDS
Foundation holds an open call
for RFPs addressing such areas
as communltybased HIV/AIDS
education programs, harm
reduction programs, services
for people llvlng with HIV/AIDS,
health care for ex-offenders,
and sexual health and rights.
Source: Photo by Thoo WergoJWirelmage

ELTON JOHN
AIDS FOUNDATION

delivered. The goal is to empha..~ize not how the project will make money for you hnt how
your project can help make money for the client and realize added henefits.
Most proposals, whether they are infom1al or fom1al, use a direct approach. Which ele-
ments are included, however, depends on the proposal's audience, purpose, and contents.

ELEMENTS OF INFORMAL PROPOSALS

Introduction
The introd uction should offer an overview 0 the proposal and its scope and highlight
your qualifkations to do the joh. Refer here to start-up and completion dates and the cost
of the project, if they are of special concern. For external, sales-driven proposals, mention
previons posi tive association.~ your company has had with the client.

Background
The background section defines in some detail the problem you aim t.o solve or the oppor-
tunity you wish to add ress. ln addition to identifying the purpose and goals of the project,
it conveys your understanding of client needs and how the client st.ands to benefit from
the implementation of the plan you propose.

Proposal, Method, and Schedule

The proposal section details your solution to the problem. Explain (1) the products or
services you are offering, (2) how the proposed method for solving the problem is easihle,
(J) how your company intends to proceed with it and pe rfo1111 the work in the available
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

time, (4) what special materials :and resources you will use, and (5) when each phase 0
the project will he compl eted (create a ti md ine for this purpose). If the procedure you
propose is complex or lnvolves several steps, use headings to give each section impact and
definjtion. You can also walk the client through the process.

Costs and Budget

The outline of costs and the hudget are key. Give a carefully prepared hreakdown of costs
for the entire project and, if appiicahle, for each stage of the project process. Th e hudget
you submit is actually a legal contract that d oes not allow ror later alt.erat.ions, even H your
eJ>.11enses increase, so he reaHstic ahout th e fib'Ures you suhmi t and mention any costs that
are impossible for you to factor in or estimate at the time of subm ission.

Staffing and Qualifications

The staffing section shows that you, your team, and your company are credihle and have
what it takes to do the joh well. Inst.ill confidence in readers hy briefly mentioning the
experr.ise and credentials o r project leaders as well as special resources and facilities that
equip them to outperform the competition. You can supply additional proof of project
leaders' qualifications hy attaching privacy-sensitive generic (as opposed to actual) resu
mes at the end or in an appendix. You may al~o brive reerences, hut be sure to include only
the add resses and telephone nwnhers that you have permission to disclose.

Benefits
The benefits sect.ion summarizes I.he reasons for accepting the proposal so that the client
will be motivated to action. It h elps to resell the proposed plan by highlighting the value
o r your solution, service, or product and the advantages o r your plan ove r and ahove the
competitions. This app roach sh ows that you are not just eage r for business hut a lso eager
to assist the client in maximizing hene fi ts.

Request for Authorization

Depending on th e siltlation , th e closing req uest- asking for authorization to prnceed-
can sometimes he made or negotiated art.er the client has received the proposal. Even
with out a request for authorization, this section is useful fo r stipulating the time period in
which t.he proposal is valid and for expressing (1) confidence in the solution, (2) appre
ciation for 1.he opportunity to submit the proposal, and (J) willingness to p rovid e further
lnformation if required.

ELEMENTS OF FORMAL PROPOSALS

Fom1al proposals differ from in form al proposals in fom1at and length. The number of
pages can vary from as rew as five to as many as several hundred. Not surprisi ngly, formal
proposals can contain additional elements that sort complex details into effective and
easy-to-understand units that can he added or subtracted depending on the client and the
contents o r the proposal. Headings with in the hotly can he customized so that the content~
make more sense. Elements marked with an asterisk (*) in the following list are optional
in an informal proposal.
 11 I PROPOSALS AND FORMAL REPORTS

Front Matter front matter the parts of a

Copy of the RFP (if applicahle) proposal or report that arc Included
Cover letter before the main body and contain
Introductory Informatlon.
Ahstract or summary
Title page
Table of contents
List of tables/figures/illustrations

Body of the Proposal

lntroducr.ion
Background or problem statement
Detailed proposal and method
Schedule
Budget or cost analysis
Staffing
Authorization
Benefits and conclusion

Back Matter back matter the parts of a

Appendix proposal or report that follow
the main body and conraln
Refe rences supplemental lnformallon.
The next sections provide a closer look at some proposal ekments.

Cover Letter or Letter of Transmittal

The cover or transmittal letter, bound inside the proposal a~ its first page, explains the
proposals purpose, major features, and tangible henefits and expresses confidence that
those benefits will satisfy the client's needs. The letter should be addressed to the person
responsible for making the final decision. It should either refei: to the RFP or mention how
you learned about the client needs to which your proposal responds. Because most pro-
posals have a shelf Life, the letter should mention when the hid expires hut also offer assur-
ances that your company is authorized to make a hid . The letter should end courteously
by expressing appreciation for the opportunity to suhmit the proposal, for any assistance
already provided, or for previous positive associations with the client.

Executive Summary or Abstract

The type of summary you write depends on whom the report is intended for. An executive executive summary (or
summary (one-page maximum) is intended for decision-makers and gives the proposals abstract) a synopsis of the body of
a proposal or report specifying Its
highlights in persua~ve, non-technical laJ1b'tlage. An abstract (also one-page maximum) highlights and recommendations.
summarizes those highlights in specialized, technical language.

Title Page title page a frontmancr page of

The title page should include (1) the proposal title and suhtir.le in boldfaced type or a proposal or formal report thal
upper-case letters, (2) the name of the client organization and/or the decL~ion-maker to Includes the title of the documen~
the names of the Intended
whom the proposal is directed, (J) the RFP reference number, (4) the name and title of the rcclplcnt(s) and ll'le author(s), and
proposal writer and company, and (5) the date of submission. the date of submission.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
table of contents (TOC) a
frontmanor list ofth~ nrst and
second"level headings that appear
In a proposalor formal report, all
of which constitute an overview of
the material to follow.
llst of tables/figures/
Illustrations a front-maner llst of
the titles and page numbers for
tables, Hgurcs, and other graphics
Included In a document.
appendix a section of the back
mancr of a proposalor formalreport
In whichspecialized supplemental
materlalsare archived.
references or works cited a
section of the back maner ofa
proposalor formal report that lists,
Inalphabeticalorder, the sourrn
material cited In the text.
American Psychological
Association (APA) style a
documentation system used
bywriters In the socla Iand
physical sciences.
Modern Language Association
(MLA) style a documentation
system used by writers In
the humanities.
Table of Contents (TOC)
Best included with longe r proposals, t.he table of contents (TOC) should list all main sec-
tion headings used throughout the proposal with t.heir corresponding page numbers.
List of Tables/Figures/Illustrations
lf a proposal contains a combination of more than six tables, figures, and/or illustrations,
include a list that provides t.hat page number of each item.
Introduction
If the plan you are about to descnhe is complex, you can use t.he introduction not just to
offer an overview but also to tell :a client how the proposal that follows is organized.
Appendix
An appendix, typically found after the hotly of a proposal, is used to archive specialized
mate ri als of interest t.o readers (e.g., graphics, statistical analyses, tables, generic resumes
of project leaders, product photographs, and examples of previous projects). Creating an
appendix allows you t.o declutter the hotly of the proposal so that its focus is purely on the
selling of products, ideas, and seTVices. Appendices labelled A, B, C, and so on can he set
up for each type of material.
References
The references or works cited list iden tifies the source material for ideas and information
you have mentioned in yom proposal or consulted in its preparation. This secti011 may he
prepared in one of several referencing formats , each with its own distinguishing feamres
and content req uirements. Of the two most widely used systems, the documentation sty le
of the American Psychological Association (APA style)- which uses a reference list- is
favoured by writers in the social and physical sciences and often in business as well. The
documentation system of I.he Modern language Association (MLA style) features a
works cited list and is used in the humal'ljties. ln hoth cases, short citations an: inserted
into the proposal's text., guiding readers to the l L~ts of complete bi bliographic infom1at.ion
for each source. (See pp. 399-402 for more on these documentation styles.)
WRITING STYLE FOR PROPOSALS
Good proposals are persuasive and use words that comm unicate strength, confidence,
know-how, and credibility Unl'l ecessarlly tentative, douht.ful, or defensive language can
undermine the reader's percept.ion of your ability to carry out the tasks you plan and get
the joh done.
SAMPLE INFORMAL PROPOSAL
The informal proposal in Figure 11.1, prepared in lette r fom1at, responds to a req uest fo r
an on-site business-writing workshop. The RFP comes from Amanda Sullivan, coordinator
of the learning centre at Vanguard Property Development, a company that has recently
expanded through the acquisi tion of Goodwi n Homes and Realty. Former Goodwin
employees who were kept on aft.er the merger have heen experiencing difficulties in adapt-
ing to the demands of Vanguard's rigorous comm unication standards. Ordinarily, Vanb'ltard
staff members reqt1iring remedi<il English assistance or a review of e-mail, let.I.er-writing,
 11 I PROPOSALS AND FORMAL REPORTS

lntegra Communications Services 71 OConroy Street

Vancouver, BC V2A IHS
{604} 6038775
www.solutlonscomm.com

November 15, 2013

Ms. Amanda Sullivan, Coordinator

Vanguard Property Development
1400 Oak Tree Way
Vancouver, BC VSS 2T1

Dear Ms. Sullivan:

It was a pleasure to talk with you several days ago and learn about the Initiatives Vanguard Property
Development's recent acquisition. lntegra Communications Services Is pleased to submit the
following proposal outlining our plan for a ten -week on -site workshop aimed at Improving the
quality of document planning and business writing In your workplace.

Our company Is prepared, upon receiving your approval, to Immediately Implement the plan outlined
below and to modify It according to the needs determined through our preliminary assessment of
writing samples submitted by your staff. We appreciate your Interest In our suggestions and your
ongoing support for our creative training solutions.

Background and Purposes

We understand that the Individualized training modules and self-learning packages currently used
by your employees to address weaknesses In their writing do not provide them with the level of
ongoing support and suggestions for Improvement they are seeking. A more effective means of
training that meets those needs and delivers the desired learning outcomes Involves a combination of
classroom Instruction, regular Individual practice, and Immediate constructive feedback that will allow
employees to build on the strong basic-language skills they may already have and to polish, master,
and apply those skills to the actual written materials they produce on the job. Our goal Is to help your
employees master the skills of writing the way they learn best- through supportive Individualized
workshops, consultations, and hands-on experience. Our proposed training program Is designed to
ensure your employees become more confident and efficient writers able not only to Identify the
qualities of good writing but also to produce quality documents within allotted time frames.

Proposed Plan and Benefits

On the basis of our experience In conducting on-site workshops and writing training seminars, lntegra
Communications Services proposes the following plan to maximize benefits to your company:

On-Site Workshop. Participants In a group of not more than twenty will receive ten hours of
Instruction through an Intensive on-site workshop offered In five weekly 2-hour sessions.

FIGURE 11.1

Sample Informal Proposal

COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

Proposal to Provide an On-site November 15, 2013 Page2

Business-Writing Work$hop

Working from your needs, our trainers will provide practical, Interactive Instruction and
individualized attention In an environment that allows participants to learn from each other
and share their knowledge and workplace experience. The 3:30-5:30 p.m. scheduling requires
only one hour of release time per week. Trainers will remain on hand until 6:30 p.m. to take
questions and conduct consultations. The ten hours of classroom time Is significantly less than
Is now required for employees to complete a self-directed training module.

Consultation and Feedback. Each participant will undergo a preliminary skills assessment, based
on work In progress, and receive continuous evaluation that focuses on his or her Instructional
needs. Through substantial written comments and three 20-mlnute consultations, participants
will also receive Immediate and relevant feedback and Information on topics ranging from
remedial English to strategic document planning. On completing the course, each participant wlll
also receive a one-page status report containing a final assessment and concrete suggestions for
further skill development.

Course Materials. Each participant will receive a two-hundred-page manual containing learning
modules, skill-building exercises, workshop guidelines and topics, printed copies of PowerPolnt
slides, and assignments speclflcally adapted to participants' workplace writing tasks.

Ongoing Support. Course participants have unlimited access to our comprehensive on line writing
resources website containing additional writing tips, links to business-writing resources, and
self-correcting review exercises that participants can complete at their own pace and submit for
Immediate feedback. For one month a~er completing the course, participants may also telephone
our Writers' Outreach Hotline and arrange a free one-hour consultation with a course trainer.

Course Outline. Th e following outline corresponds to five primary areas of Interest and can be
adapted and modified according to the needs of Individual participants.

Week 1: Foundations of Effective Workplace Communication

Adapting your message to your audience
Organizing routine messages
Legal responsibilities for writers

Week 2: Sharpening Your Style

Determining tone and word choice
Sentence style
Editing ted1nlques

Week 3: E-mail Composition and Management

Netlquette
Handling and processing e-mail
Writing better e-mail messages

I
 11 I PROPOSALS AND FORMAL REPORTS

Proposal to Provide an On-site November 15, 2013 Page3

Business-Writing Work$hop

Week 4: Strategic Document Planning for Routine and Persuasive Messages

Applying standard approaches
Delivering bad news
Writing persuasively
Week 5: Reports and Collaborative Writing
Report planning
Types of reports
Writing proposals
Staffing and Quallflcatlons
lntegra Communications Services has earned a reputation as a local leader In the communications
field by offering quality writing services and ongoing support to businesses and Industries In
Vancouver. Our trainers, Dr. Gall Simpson; Ezra Nadel, M.A.; and Marie Brossard, M.A., hold graduate
degrees In professional communication from the University of Waterloo, the University of Calgary,
and the University of Western Ontario, respectively. All are members of the Association of Business
Communication and have an understanding of government and corporate communications
environments that comes from years of work with government agencies and businesses such as
J.G. Hampson & Sons
Elite Computers Inc.
Blackwell Investments
Over 90 per cent of our clients report a significant Improvement In the quality of their documents
and a considerable reduction In the time It takes to process them. For a sampling of client comments
and course evaluation surveys please refer to our website: www.solutlonscomm.com. A full client
satisfaction survey, administered by Dr. Simpson, will be conducted at the end ofthe course.
Cost
The total cost of the course, Including a ten-hour workshop for twenty participants, consultations,
all learning materials, and ongoing support servlces, Is $3,SOO. All audiovisual equipment, Including
PowerPolnt projectors and screens, will be supplied by lntegra.
Authorization

Our unique approach to professional-writing training has been Implemented to a high degree of
client satisfaction and will enhance your efforts to Improve the quality of written communication In
your workplace. I look forward to discussing the details of this proposal with you and answering any
questions you may have. The price In this offer Is In effect until Aprll 4, 2014.
Sincerely,

Elizabeth Rocca
President
EPR:kl
I
COMMUNI C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

and reporting procedures visit the learni11tg centre

Read Carl Dickson's "10 Mistakes that
Proposal Writers Make Again, and Again,
and Again .. ."to learn more about
avoiding the common pitfalls of
proposal writing: http://goo.gi/zMqOMy
and use its online and print resources to learn at
their own pace hy using self-teaching manuals and
self-guided tuto rials. Recent overhooki ng of the
Leam ing centre and complaints from depart.mental
managers ahout t.he quali ty of in-house and exter-
nal documents have prompted Ms. Sullivan to look
for outside assistance. She has approached three
writing-se rvices consu ltancy firms that Vanguard
had previously co ntracted- with posit ive out-
comes-and has asked each to suhmit a proposal.

COMMON MISTAKES IN WR ITING PROPOSALS

A proposal may fail to secure reader interest for several reasons:
It does not follow RFP instructions.
It does not match project solution with purpose.
It is writer-focused instead o f client-focused.
It is inact1.lrate or unrealistic with the hudget.
It does not estahHsh credihili ty.
It does not differentiate from competition.
It does not contain a d ear plan or solution.

Cl If the proposal is a response to a request for proposals, does it follow the RFP exactly and
meet all specifications and requirements for the job?
Cl Does the proposal include a summary of what you propose? Is it clear why the proposal
is being made?
Cl Does the proposal show that YOU understand the significance of the problem or
challenge the client faces? If the proposal is unsolicited, does it convince the client that
the problem or need exists?
Cl Are details complete? Are the plan and its implementation fully explained? Does tlhe
proposal outline project completion dates, mention staffing needs and resources,
include a cost breakdown, and provide evidence to support your ability to do the job?
Cl Does the proposal identify the client's competition and develop a customized solution
that answers the client's needs? Does the proposal show how the project leader's
qualifications, equipment, and resources are superior to those of competitors?
Cl Does the proposal outline potential benefits to the reader?
Cl Does the conclusion reinforce a positive perception of your company and its ideas 7 Does
it include a date beyond which the bid figures are invalid?
Cl Is the proposal positive and forward-looking in its tone? Is its organization reader-friendly?
Cl If the proposal asks for authorization, can sign-off be attained easily?
Cl Does the proposal follow industry standards in its format and disclosures? For more
information on this topic, visit the Association of Proposal Management Professionals'
website: www.apmp.org.
 11 I PROPOSALS AND FORMAL REPORTS

Researching and Collecting Data

Reports are based on evidence. How much data you need to gather and analyze and how
much research you need to do will depend on the situation. Short, inrom1al reports may
require o nly minimal research since the facts may be already known to you or dose al
hand. Formal reports, however, often involve extensive research. Your research stratebries
and the amount of time you spend gathering infom1at.ion can also differ depending on
whether you are working solo or as part of a group. In either case, your first job is to deter-
mine exactly what you are looking for, dedde on t.he best way to find it, and weigh the
time your research will take against its impo rtance to the report.
There are a variety of types of information available: paper, human , and electronic.
Where you search for information and what you use depends on the project and the
sources that are available and affordable. Access can depend on the category of information:

in-house: e.g., internal files, memos, reports, or company intranet or records

publ icly available: e.g., consultants, experts, Internet, CD-ROMS, newspapers, books,
or magazines
reshicted: e.g., members-only Internet sites, research by other co mpanies and
o rga11izati011s

Researching a report can be as straightforward as conslllting a few second-hand

sources-a computer printout or a published articl e-o~ it can be a matter of setting out
and gathering new information first-hand.

Primary research is a strategy that depends on first-hand sources where you do it

yoursel f and generate the data you need, based on your own observations and experi-
ence. You do this type of research when yoll conduct interviews, carry ollt surveys,
make your own observations, or rely on your own ideas.
Seconda.r y resea.r ch involves the retrieval of existi ng inform ation based on what
others have observed and experienced. You do this type of research when you con-
duct a library or onHne search.

Primary data can sometimes he collected informally by talking with individuals who
know about a panicular topic or wit.h the target audience to whom your report is most rel-
evant. H, on the other hand, developing primary data entails the cost or interviewing large
groups OT sending out questionnaires, secondary research may prove a more cost-effective
method. For this reason , most research projects bebrin \vith the latter type.
Because it is easy to he overwhelmed by the task or locating data and sifting through
masses or material , you should begi n hy making a List of keyword -linked topics you need
to investigate and the type of data you need to support your purpose and explore your
topic. Your evidence can come in many forms: statistics, in-house organizational data,
group opinions, expe rt opinions, even historical background. Not all searches will be the
same, so keep in mind the options open to you:

1. Look for information online. Big search engines such as Google and Bing-
convenient pathways to the World Wide Web-can find current articles on virtually
any subject related to the search term you use, espedally if you do an advanced search
that combines keywords and altern atives. Besides article repri nts, you can expect
to find online databases, company news, mission statements and directories, com-
pany profiles, prod uct facts, governme nt infom1at.ion, scientific reports, sound and
video files, library resources, online newspape rs and magazines, press releases, job
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

hanks, and employment information. Some directories, such as AccountingNet and

GlobalEDGE, are specifically husiness related .
The rules of Boolean logic apply here. Refine your search using the following
commands known as desniptors or Boolean operators:
AND- using and between your search te1ms will give you 1.itles of articles containing
all of the specifted words (e.g., organization AND communication AND systems)
OR- li nking search tem1s with or will yield documents contai ning at least one of
the specified words (e.g., collaborative OR group OR communkation)
NOT- using not. wi ll exclude articles containing
the specified te1m
'vVhen using weh sources, evaluate t:ach one
carefully to determine its quality, relev;mce, and
value. Much of what you fmd may not be 1ight for
Georgetown University Library's
your purposes. l ook for the name of the site spon
"Evaluating Internet Resources provides
questions to consider when doing sor, note the last ti me the site was updated, scrutin
online research: http://goo.gi/OwsSps ize author t1edentials, and make sure the site gives
evidence to suppon its claims. A les.~ obvious on line
route is 1.0 access forums, newsgroups, and discus
sion lists. You may want to print material gathered
online, hoth for set'Urity and for convenience.
2. Do a computer-based search . Reference libraries and many businesses suhscrihe to
comprehensive databases such as SLlverPlau.er, Dialog, lexisNexis, and ABT/INFORM.
Some databases are stiU offered on CD-ROM. Whatever type you use, it is up to you
to select the focused search terms that will allow you to source electronically stored
material- full-text documents, abstracts, bibliographies, and directories.
3 . Find information in prin t. Print is a bit of a misnomer because so much print material
is now available electronically Enlist the help of a librarian in using library search tools:
computerized periodical indexes (such as the Readers' Guide to Periodical Literature and
Business Periodicals Index), book indexes, encyclopedias, directories, almanacs, and
onli ne cataloglles. Expect sourced material to include academic articles, ahstracL~.
newspaper articles, government documents, and specialty and reference hooks.
4. Investigate primary, in-house sources. It is possible that the information you are
looking for is right under your own nose or at least in the internal files and records of
your company. Because the topic you are now researching may have heen of ongoing
concern to your company, there are likely previous documents and earlier reports on
the same subject simply waiting to be retrieved. Such material, though not neces.~ar
ily up to date, will still he useful and save you the trollhle of starting your research
from scratch . Just be sure to follow the proper channels for obtaining in-house data.
Network within your company to find and consult \vith in-house experts who may
have prepared earlier reports on the topic.
5. Conduct interviews. Chatting hy phone or in person with an expe rt, authority, or
seasoned corporate veteran can yie ld valuable information . Good interviews come
about through good preparat ion.
l ocate experts by consuilti ng articles, company directories, membership lists of
professional organizations, and faculty expert Lists (e.g., the University of Toronto's
Blue Book, hu.p://bluebook.utoronto.ca/).
 11 I PROPOSALS AND FORMAL REPORTS

Familiarize yoursetr with the interviewee's professional hackground and achieve-

mmts, so you can converse knowledgeably.
Schedule interviews in advance, esr.imating how much time your conversation will
take. Try not to exceed that lim it. Consider providing t.he interviewee \vith a list of
your quest.im1s in advance.
At the very least, have several topics in mind that you wish to discuss. Otherwise,
structure your interview more formally by prepar~ng three or four major questions,
hut don't reel you have to st.id< to them rigidly. let yourself "go with the flow" and
seize the opportunity to ask important questions as they occur to you.
If yom aim is lo probe t.he interviewee's opinions and ohtain detailed answers,
ask open questions (heginning with Who? What? Where? When? and 1-fow?) and
hypothetical questions. You can elicit more infom1at.ion by asking the interviewee
to explain. If you simply need to verify a story or check facts, ask closed questions
that can he answered yes or no. You can keep the interview moving along by para-
p hrasing t.he content of the previous answer in your next quest.ion.
Establish at the beginning what is on and off the record and what you are permit
ted to quote.
Captme your conversation hy recording it or making decipherable not.es. Write up
the results o r the in terview as soon as possible after it has taken place.
Be patient through tt'1nporary lapses and silences-the interviewee may just he
fom1ulating a response. Be friendly and objective, remembering that you are par-
ticipating in a discussion, not a debate. leave controversial questions ror the end.
End by expressing appreciation and asking pem1ission to contact. t.he infom1ant for
clari6cation of anything that was said.
6. Quantify observations. In formation that comes from observation can be quite sub
jective and very open to interpretation. Ohservations that are reported in tem1s of
measurable results and out.comes may he perceived as more ohj ective and credihle.

Formal Reports
Formal r eports are accounts of major projects-the development of new products o r fonnal report an accounr of a
services; reo rganization at departmental, divisional, or company-wide levels; or analysis of rnaJor projoct written according
to a prescribed structure deRned
competing products or alternative mer.hods. Much Like analytical busi ness reports, except by formal elements such as a title
in length, fom1al reports presen t orde red information to decision-makers in government, page, letter of transrnrttal, table of
business, and industry. Because the scope and complexity of long report topics L~ greater, contenrs. and executive surnrnary
or abstract.
however, there is also greater need fo r in-depth analysis and extensive research. Fom1al
reports follow a more prescribed structure in order to accommodate this complexity and
effectively deliver in rom1ation and recommendations. Tlhe hasic structure includes front
matt.er, t.he hotly of the report, and hack matter-sebrmented sections that together identify
the signi:ficance and enhance the professionalism of the document. It is not uncom mon
for organizations to have a preferred "house style," whereby certai n elements are treated a
partil1.ilar way or left in or out accord ing to the guidelines established in a report-writer's
manual. 1f your organization has no prescribed style, simply follow the wri ting plan out
li ned in t his chapter, with the i.mderst.anding t.hat there L~ wide variation in the ways to
present a report.
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

PREPARING TO WRITE FORMAL REPORTS

Reports often require a detailed :and technical type o r wri ting. The most effective reports
are the result of a process that involves thoughtful analysis and careful evaluation hefore
the tasks of research and WTiting hegin. Understanding the problem you must address,
why you are writing, and whom you are writing ror are key to the success of this process.
As you begin t.o define the project, you should have a clear idea ahout the following things:

Purpose: What is I.he report for?

Content: What is it about?
Audience: Who is it for?
Status: Will or.her reports on the same suhject follow?
Length: How long shot1ld it he?
Fom1ality: How should it look and sound?

Thinking about these issues will save time in the long run by helping you gai n con-
trol over your material in the time you have to develop it. One way to start planning is to
review the quest.ions in the following list.

What are you being asked to report on and why? What is the subj ect and situation 7
What is your main purpose? Are you expected to give information, information plus
analysis, recommendations? Or is your task to persuade, solve a problem, initiate
change, or just provide a record for future reference? Does your report have more than
one purpose?
What results do you hope to achieve by writing the report?

Content and Organization

What details should you include and exclude in order to support your conclusions and
recommendations?
What information matters most ? How can this information be presented so it is easy
to follow?
How detailed should your anal:ysis be?
To which plan, direct or indirect, will the reader best respond? Which plan is most
convenient or persuasive?
Could visual material enhance the reader's understanding of the subject?
Do you have expertise in the subject you are reporting on?
What research will the preparation of your content require? What sources are most
credible? Whom should you consult? What are the most appropriate methods of
collecting data? How long will information gathering take?
If you are working with others, how will responsibilities be shared among you? How can
team members best apply their skills?

Aud ience
Whom is your report aimed at (small group, mixed readership)? Who else will read it?
What are the reader's skills, concerns, and knowledge of th e subject? How much of your
knowledge does the reader share? How much background does the reader require?
What objections might the reader have? How might the reader react?
 11 I PROPOSALS AND FORMAL REPORTS

Status
Is your report a periodic/interim report (superseded by another report in a few weeks or
months) or is it a special-projects report (a one-time analysis of a problem or situation
written on request)?

Length
How much are you expected to write?
How much detail do readers expect?
How much time do you have to prepare the report? Wha.t is the deadline for submission?
When must each phase be completed?

Formality
How formal does your report need to be? What is the setting and audience for your report?
What will happen to the report afterward? Who else will read it?
Is it for immediate, short-term use (less formal) or will it be presented to senior
governing bodies of your organization (more formal)?
If the report is short or informal, is it appropriate to prepare the report in a memo or
letter or on a printed form?
Based on preferences and previous reports, what tone is appropriate?

WRITING STYLE FOR FORMAL REPORTS

Serious matters deserve to he taken seriously. Formal reports reflect t.his principle in their
tone and sentence style. Ile prepared to adjust your style to convey ohjectivity and build
credihility with readers who may he either external (ouL'iide your organization) or sev-
eral rungs up on the organizational ladder. There are a few basic dos and don'ts t.o keep
in mind:

Use a more impersonal tone than you would for an infom1al report.
Write using third-person pronouns, avoiding f and we a~ much as possible.
Avoid the word you. Instead, supply the company name o r department.
Do not use contractions.
Aim for a mix of sentence lengths and keep paragraphs to less than seven lines.
Use verb tenses consistently- use the past tense for completed actions (resprmdents
were asked) and for citing references, and use the present tense for current actions (the
purposes of this n'Port are, recommendations include).
Put URLs in angle brackets (e.g., <http://canada.gc.ca>) to make them easier to read.
Check organ.izational style guidelines hefore you begin t.o write to find out what style
elements are perrnissihle.

CREATING A WORK PLAN

Even though reports can require detailed and technical writing, writers of reports often
have ve ry little time to collect and analyze data, let alone compile findings and inter-
pret them for readers in the form of meaningful conclusions and recommendations.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
Shelley Frost shares t ips for creating
work plans in "How to Plan & Organize
Work Activities": http://goo.gl/2B2fDC
work plan a docume?nt that
defines the approach, personnel
responslbllltles, resource needs,
and schedule for a major project.
team writing the practlc<l of
multiple writers workl ng together
to produce a single document.
Generating a proper report takes time. Exactly
how long it takes will depend on the amount and
type of research that needs to he done, the scope
and complexity of the report, and the numher of
people involved in its production. The llonger or
more detailed a reporL is, the more you need to
evaluate and define the project hy creating a work
plan, especially if success depends on working col-
laboratively. A work plan defines how work will he
done, who will do it, and when each phase will he
completed. It sketches out the project rmm hegin-
ning to end, making it easier to set priori ties, allo-
cate resources, and move forward . A work plan includes the following elements:
statemenL~ of problem and purpose
a strategy ror conducting research- how you expect to And and generate data and
who is responsihle for information gathering
a preliminary outline
work schedules for writing and suhmission
TIME MANAGEMENT
ln report writing, time is o r the essence. Few reports are assibrned without a deadline, so
effective time-management skills and np-front planning are essen tial. The higger the scale
of the repo rt, the more carefully you will have to set aside enough time to complete it.
Learn how you work best- doi ng one task after the other or juggling several respon-
sibilities at once. Design a system that works best for you by figuring out w hen you
waste time and when you work most effectively.
Set priorities (using a to-do list or a daytimer if you have to) and try your best to ignore
distractions. Give the task you .are working on the attention it deserves.
Start early. Don' t procrastinate or leave an important task or project until the last minute.
Leave room for unexpected occurrences, such as computer t rouble or power outages.
Break tasks into component parts with time for each.
Ask for additional information and resources if you need them.
Let people know as soon as possible if you are running seriously behind. Work together
to find solutions.
PEER-REVIEWING AND TEAM WRITING
More than any other type of business document, a report often has mul tiple authors,
wh ich means that writing a report can require collahoration and document cycling.
Different sections of a team-written report can he strikingly unlike each other in tone,
sentence and paragraph length, and word choice. Here are some ideas ror collahorating
successfully with co-workers:
 11 I PROPOSALS AND FORMAL REPORTS

Statement of Problem

As a result of recent expansion, our company has outgrown Its current human resources (HR)
department. Inaccurately processed claims, Increased benefit administration costs, out-of-control
operating costs, and the need to reinvest In technology make the outsourcing of some or all of our
HR services a viable option In terms of realizing our commitment to cutting costs, Improving service
to employees, maximizing resource availability, and gaining efficiencies. Recent studies found that
outsourcing Is now firmly embedded as part of HR service delivery.

Statement of Purpose

The purpose of this report Is to determine whether consolidation of HRservices under one
outsourcing provider can control operating costs and facilitate world-class delivery with respect to
benefits, HR management, and payroll processing. The report will examine published studies, surveys,
and accounts of how other companies achieved their HR objectives.

Sources and Methods of Data Collection

Magazine and newspaper accounts will be examined, as well as "HR Outsourcing: Benefits, Challenges,
and Trends,"the Conference Board's second study of the benefits of human resources outsourcing
(HRO) and changes In the HR marketplace. Our accounting department will conduct an Internal audit
to determine what we do well and what we need help with and will undertake cost-benefit analysis
to estimate the strategic value of HRO to our business and the cost savings over time. Our HR depart-
ment will estimate growth In the number of employees In the next five years and the additional
number of HRand IT staff required to support that growth using the current systems.

Working Outline

A. What Is the scope of programs currently offered by our company?

1. Who provides them?
2. Are any programs already outsourced?
3. Are packaged HR services right for our company?
B. What HR services should we outsource?
1. Central HR functions?
2. Technical or administrative functions?
C. What are the benefits and risks of outsourcing?
1. Risk management
2. Cost savings
3. Impact on core functions
4. Security Issues
D. How do we choose a service provider?
1. What are our selection criteria 7
2. How can we manage our outsourcing relationship?
E. Should we proceed with HRoutsourcing?

FIGURE 11 . 2

Sample Work Plan

COMMUN I CATING FOR RESU LTS

Work Schedule

Investigate newspaper and magazine articles Mar. 10- 14

Conduct an Internal audit-What do we do best? Mar. 17-21
Conduct cost-benefit analysis Mar.24-28
Investigate system options and service providers Mar. 31
Interpret and evaluate findings Apr. 1-4
Compose a draft of the first report Apr. 7-11
Revise draft Apr. 14-18
Submit final report Apr. 21
 11 I PROPOSALS AND FORMAL REPORTS

Agree on style points- the degree of formality and use of personal pronoims -before
you start the drafting process.
Tidy up the draft to minimize sharp con trasts in writing styles from section to section.
Make sure all members of the team are satisfied with the final draft before you begi n
to edit it.
Use a program (such as Microsoft Word) that allows each member of the group to
make signed annotations to the document onscreen.

Elements of Formal Reports

Below are the elements you can expect to find in a formal report. Parts marked wi th an
asterisk() do not require headings.

Front Matter
Cover
Title Page
Letter of Transmittal
Table of Contents
List of Tables/Figures/Illustrations
Executive Summary

Body of the Report

Introduction
Discussion of Findings
Conclusions
Recommendations

Back Matter
Appendkes
References or Works Cited
Glossary

FRONT MATTER
The front matter gives report readers a general idea of the documents purpose and offers
an overview of the types of information they can expect to find and the specifi c items that
will be covered. Because scope and audience vary every time you write a report, it may not
he necessary to include all the front-matter elements described here every single time you
generate a report.

Cover
For protection and professionalism, fom1al reports should he presented in a durable cove r
of vinyl or heavy-stock paper that can he marked \vith the company name and logo. The
title should be visible on the cover, either through a cut-out window or on a label. The
cover does not have a page number.

Title Page
The title page inc1udes the following items, centred on the page and formatted to cove r
most of it from top to botto m: (1) the full tit.le of the report, typed in boldface or uppercase
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

letters hut not enclosed in quotation marks; (2) the name of the person and group or
organization for which the report was prepared, prefaced by Prepared for or Submitted to;
(3) the names of the wri1.er(s) or compiler(s). along with their job titles and the name of
their organization, prefaced by Prepared by or Submitted by; and (4) the date of submis-
sion or the date the report is to be distributed. Items 2 to 4 are typed in a combination
o r upper- and lowe rcase letters (known as title case). The ti.tie page is unnumbered hut is
considered page i.

Letter of Transmittal
A letter or memo of transmittal officially introdnces the report and provides a permanent
record of document delivery. It is wri tten on company station ery and sent in me mo fom1
to insiders or in letter fom1 to outsiders. It is usually formatted to allow for a lli~- or
H'2-inch (3.18- or 3.81-centimetre) top margin. A transmittal letter or memo (1) bebrins
>vith a statement indicating the topic of the report and I.he fact that die report is being
transmitted: Hr.re is the rt:port rm privacy issues you req1.u:sted on Novr.mbt:r .1 .. . (2) refers
to the report's purpose and authorization und er which it was written, (3) b riefly d escribes
the report and highlights its com:lusions and recommendations. (4) expresses apprecia-
tion for the assignment and ror special help received from others in its preparation, and
(5) closes with follow-up action and an offer o f assistance in answering questions or with
looking fo rward to discussing the report's details.

Table of Contents
A table of contents shows the report's overall structure, listing all the sections or headings
o r the report in order o r appearance and giving an in itial page numher for each. Prepare
your table of contents last, when the report has been completed. List sections in a column
on the left and indent subsections a few spaces, using leaders (spaced dots) to direct the
reader to the accurate page number. Use lowercase Roman nnmeral~ for front matter and
do not list Table of Contents in your table of conten ts (keep in mind that the idea is to l L~t
every item coming after the TOC) . Word-processing programs allow you to generate a tahle
of contents automatically simply by keying in your repo rt headings. Leave llh to 2 inches
(3.81 to 5.08 centimetres) at the top of 1.he page.

List of Tables/Figures/Illustrations
1f your report contains more dian five tahles, figures. and/or illustrations, they can he
listed in a separate section at the bottom of you r TOC. If the report has many brraphics and
visuals, list them on a separate page immediately following the TOC. "Ust of Illustrations"
is a label that can apply to hoth figures and tables. Ile sure to number tahles and figures
independently and consecutively wi th Arabic nu mbers (meaning that there may he both a
Table 1 and a Figure 1).

Executive Summary
Usually written after yon have completed the report, an executive summary is roughly 10
per cent die length of the report rlt summarizes. It can be read independently o f th e report
hut accurately reflects the report's most important information without using any technical
jargon. Like a well-written preci~. an effective executive summary omits examples and
instead highlights conclusions and recommendations. Sometimes it is the only part o f the
report management will read. Place it on a separate sheet of paper at the encl of the front
matt.er or at the very beginning of the hotly of the report.
 11 I PROPOSALS AND FORMAL REPORTS

BODY OF THE REPORT

The body o r the report begins on page 1. This section, the heart or the repon, describes
methods and procedures that were used in generating the report, shows how results were
ohtained, and draws conclusions and recommendations from them. Not every report will
follow the exact. fomrnla given below, so use either functional or descriptive headings
according to what the project requires.

Introduction
The introd uction is both a general gui de and a road map that prepares readers for the rest
of the report. An effective introduction covers t.he follov..;ng topics, any o r which may he
assigned to a separate section.

Purpose or Problem: The purpose statement, usually not more than one or two sen-
tences, iden tifies the rhetorical purpose or the report (to explain, to recommend) as it
applies t.o the problem the report addresses. Provid ing a clear statement of goals gives
read ers a basis for judging the fi ndings and results.
Scope: Sometimes combined with the purpose statement when both are relatively
brief, the scope statement sets out the boundari es of your material and defines the
limitations of the subject. It tells readers how broad or detailed your coverage is and
defines what the report does and does not investigate. Readers may then evaluate the
report purely on the terms you establish so it is less Hkely to he faulted for incom-
pleteness or lack of thoroughness.
Background: Background information puts the report in perspective and may help
to fill in the blanks when a report is consulted years later. Avoid giving readers more
background than they really need. Instead, give a brief review of events that led to the
problem or a description of how other solutions have failed- infom1ation that allows
readers to understand the desibrn and purpose of the report they are about to read.
Organization: Th is subsection maps out the structure of the report.
Sources and methods: If you collected primary data by cond ucting interviews, sur-
veys, or focus groups, outline the procedures you followed and any related details:
who your subjects were; how you chose those subjects; what t.he sampl e size was;
when the collection of data took place; and whether the data you collected is open to
dispute. You can also describe your secondary sources.

Besides coveri ng these topics, you may also choose to say a few words ahout author-
ization (what the agreed-upon terms und er which you are writing the report authorize
you to do or suggest) or define key terms that clarify the subject. Almost unavoidahly,
an introduction will restate info rmation from the exeL1.1tive summary and preview details
from the discussion of findings, so use slightly differen t phrasing to red uce repetition
and redundancy.

Discussion of Findings
The discussion of find ings is the most substantial section of the report. With careful inter-
pretation. and analysis of significant data and research find ings, it presents a discussion of
the results on which your conclusions and recommendations are based. Choose an appro-
priate way to arrange your findings (logically, chronolobr:ically, in orde r of importance, hy
region, o r hy topic) and then use structu ral guideposts such as functional or descriptive
headings to move readers from one section to the next.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

" Michael Ferguson, Auditor

General of Canada, holds a
press conference regarding his
report. The Auditor General's
Report examines government
operations and presents Its
findings and recommendations
to Parllament. For example, the
fall 2013 report makes several
suggestions to Improve the
country's food recall system,
border security, and rall safety.
Source: 0 David KawaVXinhua Press/
Co<bls

conclusions the section of a report
that mstates the ma1r1 points.
Conclusions
Carefully avoiding bias, use the conclusions section to tell readers what they have been
waiting to learn- what I.he findings really mean and what the solution to the problem is.
Conclusions repeat, infer fTOm, and pull together points made in the report. In this they
differ From recommendations, which are actions the readers are advised to take. Some
reports present conclusions and recommendations in separate sections while others com
hine them, especially if the sections are short. Together or on their own, conclusions and
recommendations are no place to introduce new mate rial. In fact, every statement you
make must he justified by a point already discussed, with every result li.nked to the pur-
pose and methods of the report. Conclusions make the most seTL~e when they are b>iven
according to the order in which they are presented in the body and numbered or bulleted
for ease of refe rence.

recommendations a section of a
report lhat outlines speclHc actions
to be taken.
Recommendations
The recommendations section makes specific suggestions about what action to take as a
result of the information you have presented. Your recommendations should he fi.nancially
feasible and appropriate to the problem. Presented one at a time as numbered commands
beginning with a verb, they should flow logically From findings and conclusions and he
supported by the information found there. Number recommendations to make it easier for
readers to discuss them, and use the imperative voice to emphasize actions to he taken,
adding inform ation as required to tell readers how those actions can he impl t'1nent.ed.
Some reports include timetables for putting recommendations into effect.
 11 I PROPOSALS AND FORMAL REPORTS

BACK MATTER
The had~ matter of a report contains supplementary material that accomplishes the fol-
lowing objectives:

identifies sources that were consulted in researching the report

provides any additional information that was too detailed or lengthy to include in the
body 0 r the report
defines tmfamiliar technical terms used in the report
makes individual topics discussed in the report easier to find hy indexing them

Each pa rt o r the back matte r starts on a new page and should he given an
appropriate lahel.

Appendix
An opti011al element located at the end of a fom1al report, an append ix contai ns special-
ized, sometimes lengthy, information that clari fies and supplements the essential infor-
mation i11 the body of the report. A report can have more than one appendix (labelled
alphahetically as Appendix A, Appendix B, and so forth), hut each appendix can contain
only one type of information- tables, charts, diagrams, illustrations, raw data, computer
printouts, interviews, questionnaires, statL~tical analyses, or technical support.

Works Cited/References
To avoid charges of plagiarism, support assertions, and help readers access source
material easily, cite and document as unobtrusively as possible the sources ror any facts
o r figures you have quoted or referred to in the repo rt . Even if you have summarized
o r paraphrased an idea, you must identiry whose idea it L~ and where it comes from.
The necessity of documenting your source material app lies to any words, ideas, or data
that isn't your own- anything that is not common knowledge o r which does not come
from an internal source (such as company sales figm es and financial statements). As
discussed earlier in this chapter, the APA and MLA styles are two of the most common
documentation methods. Each method has two eleme111ts: parenthetical citations in the
hody of the report and a list (o r references in APA and of works cited in MLA) at the end
of the rep ort.
Parenthetical in-text citations are placed within the text of your report. Whenever parenthetical In-text citations
you quote, paraph ra~e. or summarize material from an external source, usi ng either words notations set within parentheses
that Identify sources of quotations
or ideas that are not yom own, you must add a citation to avoid the risk of plagiarism or Ideas that arc cited In the body
(meaning, literally, "to kidnap," plagiarism is the passing off of someone elses thoughts or of a report.
words as your own). All you have to do to avoid plagiarizing material is to inse rt the right
identifying details in parentheses hefore you close the sentence in which the borrowed
material appears. As you will see from the examples helow, slightly different lnfom1ation
goes within the parentheses depending on whether you use APA or MLA style.
A references or works cited list includes all print, electronic, and media sources cited
ln the report. Source material is listed in alphabetical order by author surname. Entries
for each work include author (or creator), title, and hihliographical detaib (including year
of puhlication).
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

APA Documentation: Parenthetical In-Text Citations

An author- date method is used in creating cir.ar.ions in APA fo rmal. Items within the
hrackets are separated by commas. For mo re detailed information, consult the Publication
Manual of the Ame1ican P~ydwlogical Association (6th edn, 2010).
Single author (Author's last name, Date of publication)
(Friedman, 2005)

Two authors (Author & Author, Date)

(Fluegel man & Hawes, 2004)

Three- five authors

First citation (Author, Author, & Author, Date)
(Short, Randolph-Seng, & McKenny, 2013)
Second citation (Author et al., Date)
(Short et al., 2013)

Six or more authors (Author et al., Date)

(Schullery et al., 2012)

No publication date (Author's last name, n.d.)

(Bannerman, n.d.)

Direct quotation (Author's last name, Date, Page)

(Scardino, 2004, p. 8)

Organization as author (Organization, Date)

(Canadian e-commerce Statistics, 2005)

Website, no author (Shortened title, Date)

("Social Services in Canada; 2009)

Personal communication, (Communicator's name, personal

such as e-mail communication, date of communication)
(J. Drake, personal communication, January 7, 2014)

TYJl ically, in-text citations are inserted at the end of the clause or sentence in which
the cited infom1at.ion or quotation appears. Punctuation is placed outside the citation . ln
the following example, the citation identifies the source of a direct quotation:

Financial Past Business reported that in 2005 "Toyota produced more than 8 million vehicles,
compared to GM's 9.1 million (Greenwood, 2005, p. 34).

APA Documentation: References Page Entries

Some general rules apply w the formatti ng of a references page:

Arrange entries alphahetically by the author's last name or title of the wo rk (if the
author is unknown).
Ilegin each entry flush ldt (i.e., at t.he left margin). Each additional line in a11 entry is
ind ented five spaces or approximately 0.5 inch (1.27 centimetres).
Place the date of publication in parentheses following the authors name (if known).
 11 I PROPOSALS AND FORMAL REPORTS

Capitalize (1) only the first letter of a title that is not a periodical (e.g., hooks, weh
documents, brochures) and of any prope r 11ouns in that title; (2) 011ly the first lette r of
the title and of any prope r nouns in the title of an article; (3) the first letter of a word
that follows a colon; and (4) the ti.ties of periodicals Gournals, newspapers, magazines).
Italicize the titles of books, journals, newspapers, magazi nes, reports, media produc-
tions, and videos.
Italicize the volume numher (do not use the ahhreviation Vol.) of a periodical and
include the issue number in hrackets immediately after it. Do not use the abbrevia-
tions p. or pp. for articles in scholarly journals or magazines: 15(3), 49- 58.
Include a digital ohject identifier (DOI) for electro11ic sources. If no DOI is availahle,
give the web address from which the material was retrieved: Retrieved from http://stra.t-
ei,tidc.ge.c:a.

Book by one author Author's last name, lnitial(s). (Year of publication). Title of
book. Place of publication: Publisher.
Friedman, T. (2005). The world is flat: A brief historyafthe
twenty-first century. New York: Farrar, Strauss & Giroux.

Book by two authors Author, ln itial(s), & Author, lnitial(s). (Year of publication).
Title of book. Place of publication: Publisher.
Fluegelman, A., & Hawes, J. (2004). Strategies for business and
technical writing. New York: Random House.

Journal article Author's last name, lnitial(s). (Date of publication). Title of

article. Title ofJournal, Volume number(lssue), Pages.
Limaye, M. (2002). Some reflections on explanation in bad
news messages. Journal of Business and Technical
Communication, 75(1), 100-111 .

Online article Author's last name, lnitial(s). (Date of publication). Title of

article. Title ofOnline Periodical. Retrieved from URL
Pond, M. (2001, June 21). S.ales letters for success. Edmonton
Small Business. Retrieved from http://www.business
-howto.com/a rticles/2001 / l 3/index03.htmI

Blog or video hlog post Author's last name, lnitial(s) or Screen name. (Date of
publication). Title of post [Type of message or file).
Retrieved from URL
Lessig, L. (2007, November 15). The laws that choke creativity
[Video file]. Retrieved from www.youtube.com/
watch?v=7Q25-S7jzgs

MLA Documentation: Parenthetical In-Text Citations

An author- page method L~ used in creating citations in ML\ fo rmat, the most complete
guideHnes for which can he found in The MlA Handbook for Writers rif Research Papers
(7th edn, 2009). The authors last name and relevant page reference (with no p. or pp.
ahhreviation) appear in parentheses. Jn-text citations should be placed as close as pos
sible to the content they cite, preferably within the same sentence. If the authors name
COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

already appears nearhy within the text, then it is possihle to include just the page reference
in parentheses.

(Author's last name Pages)

(Watson 64)

Corporate leaders may intentionally obscure their meaning or they may do so out of habit
(Watson 64).

Don Watson theorizes that "corporate leaders sometimes have good reason to obscure
their meaning by twisting their language into knots, but more often they simply twist it
out of habit" (64).

MLA Documentation: Works Cited Entries

Some general rules apply to the formatting o f a works cited list:

Arrange entries alphabetically hy the author's last name or hy title (if the author's
name is unknown). Single-space en tries; douhlespace between them.
13egin each en try nush left (i.e., at the le~ margin). Indent each additional line in the
entry five spaces.
Type the author's last name followed hy a comma an d his or her first name.
Capitalize the first letter o f each main word in the title of a book, article, web docu-
ment, newspaper, report, magazine, media product.ion, and video.
En close the titles of art.icles h1 quotation marks.
Italicize the titles of hooks, newspapers, magazines, government puhlicat.i.ons, online
e-books, on line magazines, brochures, and journals. In some cases, u nderscoring may
he preferred, so ask your instructor.
Include the volume numher and issue numher of journal articles, inserting a period
between them an d adding the date of publication (if needed) in paren theses: Journal
of Bu.~iness Communication 14.4 (2000): 444-98. Print.
Include the date of puhlication (the volume an d issue numhers can he omitted) of
newspaper and magazine articles.

13ook by on e author Author's last name, First name. Book title. Place of publication:
Publisher, Year of publication. Format.
Watson, Joe. Death Sentences: Haw Cliches, Weasel Words, and
Management-Speak Are Strangling Public Language. Toronto:
Viking Canada, 2005. Print.

J ournal articl e Author's last name, First name. Title of Article." Journal Title
Volume number. Issue number (Year): Pages. Format.
Mohan, R. Limaye. "Some Reflections on Explanation in Negative
Messages. Journal of Business and Technical Communication
15.1 (2001):100- 11 . Print.

Online ar ticle Author's last name, First name. ritle of Article~ Title ofOnline
Periodical. Publisher or sponsor, Date of publication. Format.
Date of retrieval.
Pond, Meredith. "Sales Letters for Success~ Edmonton Smail Business.
Business Publishers, 21 June 2001. Web. 19 Apr. 2009.
 11 PROPOSALS AN D FOR MA L RE P ORTS

ANALYSIS OF THE CLAIRMONT COLLEGE

SUMMER ARTS PROGRAM

,,

Presented to Dr. Vivian Foster

Dean and Director of Programs I

Clairmont College of Applied Arts and Technology

Prepared by Sebastian Marceau

Special Programs Development Officer

November 15, 2013

FIGURE 11 .3

Sample Formal Report in APA Style

COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

MEMORANDUM

TO: Dr. Vivian Foster, Dean and Director of Programs

FROM: Sebastian Marceau, Special Programs Development Officer

SUBJECT: Assessment of College Summer Arts Program

DATE: November 15, 2013

Here Is the report, which you authorized on October 15, about the status of our Summer Arts Program In
its first year of operation. The study Involved a review of program enrolment figures, revenue variances,
staff and classroom expenses, course curriculum design, class size, and student exit evaluations, as well
as an assessment of the program mandate and the current and future educational needs of the greater
Clairmont community.

Although response to the program has been and continues to be extremely positive, the Information
gathered shows that, as a resu lt of substantial registration shortfalls In Its first year of operation, we
should In future expend considerable effort In marketing and refocusing the program to appeal to target
audiences. The action plan outlined In this report reflects the results of research within the college and
outside arts-In-education research.

I am grateful to summer staff Instructors for their Input and feedback and to members of the accounting
department for their assistance In revenue analysis.

It Is my hope that this report will provide you and the college board with the Information needed to
assess the effectiveness of the first year of the Clairmont College Summer Arts Program, to evaluate Its
implications, and to plan for the coming year. Please let me know if you have any questions about this
report or If you need any further Information. I may be reached at (705) 582-21 19 and by e-mail at
<smarceau@clalrmontcollege.ca>. l look forward to discussing the report recommendations and action
plan with you.

Enc.
 11 I PROPOSALS AND FORMAL REPORTS

TABLE OF CONTENTS

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY ........ ................ . ............... .................. ............. ..... Ill

INTRODUCTION .............. ................ . ............... .................. .................. 1

Purpose of the Study..... . ............... .. ................ .. ............... .. .................... 1

Scope of the Study....... . ............... ................. ................ .................... 1
Sources and Methods .... . ................ ................. ................ .................... 1

ASSESSMENT OF THE SUMMER 2013 PROGRAM .................. .................. .................. 2

Program Registration and Revenue .......... . ............... .................. .................. 2

Program Structure and Student Appraisal. ... . .............. .. .................. . .................. 4
Program Marketing ......................... . ............... .................. .................. 4
Student Services Delivery ......................................................................... 5

CONCLUSIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS...... ................. ................ .................... 6

Financial Actions......... ................ ................. ................ .................... 6

Marketing Actions ........................ ................. ................ .................... 7
Curriculum Development Actions ......... ................. ................ .................... 7
Service Delivery Actions .......................................................................... 8

REFERENCES ................. ................ ................. ................ .................... 9

APPENDIX A- Revenue Breakdown ............ ................. ................ ................... 1O

APPENDIX B- Student Exit Evaluation Survey Results............. .............. .. ................... 12

LIST OF FIGURES

Registration by Program Division .............. . ............... .................. .................. 2

Budgeted vs. Actual Registrations .............. . ............... .................. .................. 3

COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY

A substantial shortfall In registration revenues has led to this review of the Summer Arts Program at
Clairmont College. The purposes of this report are (1) to assess the continued flnanclal and educational
viability of the program based on findings related to Its first year of operation and (2) to recommend
modifications to curriculum, marketing, and financial structuring that would allow for Its sustainability
and future success.

The Summer Arts Program, encompassing the Summerworks, Danceworks, and Muslcworks divisional
programs, was launched In July 2013 after extensive market research Indicated that the greater Clairmont
community represented a ready market for arts-based educational programming where no comparable
program existed. Based on such models as The Banff Centre, the program was designed to respond to
the needs of adult learners seeking cultural enrichment and personal development In a supportive and
interactive learning environment. The program is aimed at enriching the cultural life of the community
and at providing a segue to certificate, diploma, and degree courses at the college.

The results of this assessment show that a general restructuring of finances and curriculum are needed
to reduce losses and build a market for the program, If In fact It Is to continue.

As a result of our review and assessment, we recommend the following changes to the Summer Arts
Program:

1. Reduce course overheads by Implementing changes to course delivery and eliminating support-staff
positions.

2. Increase class size and reduce the number of hours [per course.

3. Apply strategies to encourage students not to withdraw from courses In which they are enrolled.

4. Restructure course curriculum and revise course descriptions to appeal to broader audiences.

5. Implement an aggressive new marketing strategy that would Involve print and radio advertising
campaigns. Gaining an audience for the program also demands a more proactive approach to
community outreach.

6. Upgrade student services and Improve campus efficiency during the summer months.
 11 I PROPOSALS AND FORMAL REPORTS

INTRODUCTION

The Clairmont College Summer Arts Program was established to promote standards of excellence In the
fine and applied arts and to provide a community base for personal growth and cultural enrichment In
the Greater Clairmont Area. According to Its mandate, the Summer Arts Program encompasses three
divisional programs: (1) modern and classical dance, Including ballet; (2) jazz, orchestral, and choral music;
and (3) a cross-section of special Interest courses In drama and the visual and media arts.

Inspired by such renowned programs as The Banff Centre, the Summer Arts Program at Clairmont College
Is designed as acatalyst for creativity ("About the Banff Centre; 2005). As an outgrowth of Clairmont
College academic programs, the new arts programming Is founded on established notions, voiced
by visual artists such as Herbert Read, that"the aim of education ought to be concerned with the
preparation of artists (Elsner, 2004). The Special Programs Committee, which was entrusted with the
task of developing programs to promote artists within the broader spectrum of liberal arts education,
subscribes to the view that "there are no guarantees or easy solutions to the complex challenges In
education, but an arts-rich curriculum can provide a1vehicle to self-expression, self-understanding,
self-confidence, creative problem-solving and motivation" (Elster, 2002).

Purpose of the Study

The Special Programs Committee (SPC) had projected that enrolment In the program would be
substantially higher than the actual 2013 registration levels. In allowing for Initial reg istration shortfalls,
however, the SPC had also expected that the program would take several years to establish Itself In the
community and refine Its curri culum to meet the needs oftarget audiences. The purpose of this study Is
to determine how well the Summer Arts Program fulfilled Its mandate and to Investigate underlying
weaknesses In program funding and curriculum development as a basis for assessing possible changes
and the long-term viability of the program. Recommendations for the Increasing revenue and enrolment
will be made based on the results of this study.

Scope of the Study

This review was Intensive and extensive. It paid particular attention to the following concerns:

Budgetary shortfall
Underperformlng course sectors and curriculum deficiencies
Service deficiencies
Customer satisfaction

Sources and Methods

Our assessment Included four elements:

Budgetary variance reports and revenue statements

Student exit evaluations surveys
Meetings with course Instructors In all summer program sectors
Discussions with students previously enrolled In the program
COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

ASSESSMENT OF THE SUMMER 2013 PROGRAM

The findings of this study will be presented In four categories: (1) registration and revenue; (2) program
structure and student appraisal; (3) program marketing; and (4) summer student services.

Program Registration and Revenue

The program had 808 registrants. The budgeted number of registrants was 937 (meaning the program
was 129 registrants short of budgeted targets). The diversified Summerworks program accounted for the
bulk of registration, at 89.2 per cent, with the smaller Danceworks and Muslcworks divisions accounting
for only 6.4 per cent and 4.3 per cent of registrations, respectively.

Figure 1 Registration by Program Division, Summer Program 2013

0 Musicworks 4.3%

Danceworks 6.4%

Summerworks 89.2%

By division, the breakdown of Summer Arts Program registration was as follows:

Summerworks had 721 registrants, well exceeding Its. projections of 600. Even with the popular demand
for such courses as Canadian Gardening and Creativity In the Visual Arts that necessitated the creation
of additional sections, many courses ran below their anticipated enrolment average that was budgeted
at 12. The average enrolment per course was 10. This unexpected reduction In class size created good
classroom circumstance, but weaker-than -anticipated fiscal returns.

Danceworks had a registration level of 52 (52@ $450 = $23,400) but still fell far short of the projected
80 students. This contributed to a revenue shortfall of S12,600.

Muslcworks performed below expectations. The budget registration for Muslcworks was 251, but the
program had in total 35 registrants@$299 per registration, producing only $10,465 of revenue.

2
 11 I PROPOSALS AND FORMAL REPORTS

The figure below represents budgeted vs. actual re.glstratlons by divisional program.

Figure 2 Budgeted vs. Actual Registrations, Summer Program 2013

800 Budgeted Registrations

700 Actual Registrations

600

500

400

300

200

100

0
Summerworks Danceworks Musicworks

A variance analysis was undertaken to explain differences In revenue and expenses:

Actual S Budget S Difference + (- )

$ %

Total Revenue 266,635 313,537 - 46,902 - 15

Total Expense 297,632 278,259 19,373 7

Net Revenue/Loss - 30,997 35,278 - 66,275 - 188

A full breakdown of revenue and expenses Is provided In Appendix A. Total revenues for the Summer Arts
Program amounted to $266,635, with a total shortfall for the program of $30,997. The most substantial
expenses were incurred through casual and overtime labour- the casual fee paid to the Individual who
later converted to the Clerk A3 position ($23,011 ). It Is possible to decrease expenses by ellmlnatlng this
position and by making necessary adjustments to salaries and benefits, particularly by ellmlnatlng the
S11,000 stipends paid to program guest speakers, for a total saving of $4,500. The cost of Marketing Services
-Including the production of brochures and a print advertising campaign-also exceeded projections.
Instead of placing expensive ads In Arts Monthly, Clairmont Life, and Arts Scene at a total cost of $1,700,

3
COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

monies could be redirected for a sing le ad In The Globe and Mall, a far more effective venue(@ $800 per
ad), for a total saving of $900.

Program Structure and Student Appraisal

Student feedback was extremely positive, both In the formal exit evaluation surveys and In Informal
meetings convened at the college earlier this month. Appendix B provides a tabulation of the results from
the evaluation survey Issued at the close of the Summer Arts Program. Over 75 per cent of students who
completed the survey ranked aspects of the program good or better than expected In all areas. This high
approval rating was also reflected In discussions with selected members of the registrant body. Among
former students, there was consensus on the following Issues:

1. Course descriptions and outlines were too general. As a result, the descriptions In the brochure
did not match course outlines, resulting In student withdrawals. Students complained of poor
pre-registration counselling and an unwillingness on the part of registration staff to help them
locate courses that reflected their Interests. Where customer service Is concerned, there Is much
room for Improvement.

2. Courses were too long and too expensive. At 30 contact hours, most courses were too long for
students simply studying for pleasure and personal enrichment, not to pass exams. Students
agreed that 20 hours per course would be optimal.

3. Due to popular demand, the Danceworks program could be modified and expanded to allow for
the Intake of students aged 10- 17. Since September, the Registration Office received over 100
requests for Information on the Danceworks program. Most callers were seeking Intensive
training for younger students In this demographic range.

4. Course start-ups timed to coincide with long weekends discouraged potential registrants. This In
turn led to course cancellations.

While many courses In the program met expectations, some did not. Under-subscribed courses Included
Make 'Em Laugh: Stand-Up Comedy Routines, Art II: German Expressionism, and the entire Muslcworks
program, which fai led to attract sufficient numbers of registrants to make the Intensive workshop format
viable.

Program Marketing

Survey respondents and Interview subjects commented that awareness of the program within the
comm1.1nlty Is limited. Current marketing plans allow for (1) the production of a program brochure,
(2) a limited direct-marketing campaign aimed at Clairmont College alumni, and (3) a modest print
advertising campaign.

1. A substantial number of respondents suggested that the college Increase Its efforts to reach out
to the community throughout the entire year by hosting open houses and arts-related events
that would form a logical bridge to the Summer Arts Program.

4
 11 I PROPOSALS AND FORMAL REPORTS

2. Few registrants learned about the program through ads appearing In Arts Monthly, Clairmont Life,
and Arts Scene.

Student Services Delivery

Although summer session degree and diploma courses run at the same time as the Summer Arts Program,
fewer student services are available In June, July, and August. Food services are available on only a very
limited basis, leaving students to depend on vending machines, most of which are located In the student
commons area far from the summer program classroom locations. Neighbouring restaurants are located
at some distance from the main campus.

Commuter students complained about the high cost of on-campus parking. Based on an hourly rate,
parking fees for students enrolled In day-long Intensive courses were prohibitive.

Dmlng the week of July 8-1 2, the physical plant received 12 complaints about the malfunctioning air
conditioning and ventilation system, which forced the cancellation of a class In one documented case.
Non-delivery of audiovisual equipment was also a problem, with five Instructors filing complaints.

These factors contributed to the lowering of student satisfaction with the overall physical environment
and created substantial dissatisfaction among course Instructors.

5
COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

CONCLUSIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS

During Its flrst year of operation, the Summer Arts Program fulfllled Its mandate to provide quality non-
credit arts programming to the greater Clairmont area. In exit surveys, students rated the program highly,
with more than 85 per cent saying that, on the basis of their experience In the summer 2013 program,
they would study In the Summer Arts Program again and recommend It to their friends. Based on this
feedback and earlier market research, there Is sufficient reason to conclude the program Is sustainable
and worth continuing.

Although the program succeeded In Its delivery of quality educational services, It underperformed
flnanclally. Registration levels In certain course sectors fell slgnlflcantly short of projections. The resulting
budgetary shortfall may jeopardize the future of the program unless substantial changes are made within
the next three months to address these losses. If the program Is to be viable In the future, It will
be necessary to (1) reduce overheads and (2) refocus and streamline program curriculum.

Supported by the findings and conclusions of this study, the following recommendations are offered In
the form of an action plan to Increase reven ue and Improve the marketability of the program.

Flnanclal Actions
1. Redistribute overhead allocations evenly across all summer program courses. This would provide
a more realistic picture of the profltablllty- loss status of each program.

2. Ra lse the maximum number of students per Summerworks course from 16 to 20. Althou gh this
may present challenges In the delivery of curriculum, with lmpllcatlons for customer satisfaction, It
wll I save the direct expenses associated with opening another section (approximately $1,500).

3. Consider reducing courses from 30 to 20 hours (equivalently from 15 meetings to 8 meetings) to

lower the price and make the courses more attractive to students. This would reduce revenue, but It
would save on the direct expenses.

4. Avoid scheduling course start-ups on or Immediately before long weekends. Choosing other
dates would encourage higher registration.

5. Eliminate th e Clerk A3 position from th e Summer Arts Program office. A downsizing of the Special
Programs office would Implement a saving of approximately $31,000 across the three program areas
and reduce the program overhead load.

6. Implement loss-prevention by devising ways to minimize the number of student withdrawals

from the program. This will entail several steps:

a) Provide more effective customer service.

b) Improve pre-registration counselling through a checklist of questions that can be asked over the
telephone to help prospective students make appropriate course selections.

6
 11 I PROPOSALS AND FORMAL REPORTS

c) Revise course descriptions to reflect the specific content and learning outcomes of each course.

d) Hold a one-day Instructors' workshop on teaching standards and Interactive learning strategies to
encourage excellence In pedagogical approaches and delivery methods.

Marketing Actions

1. Develop a more aggressive marketing campaign. Reconcentrate monies on The Globe and Mall, an
effective venue (@$800 per ad), to save $900 over the previous year's advertising costs. Run a short-
term series of strategically placed radio ads. Give the summer program prominence on the Clairmont
College website or enlist graduating students from the COMM354 Web Design course to develop a
related web page. Offer free arts-related events throughout the year to raise the profile and prestige
of the summer program, especially at key times when registration drives are In progress.

2. Become more proactive In terms of community outreach. The success of the Canon-sponsored
Clairmont Photography Contest and the positive reception of a series of free program-related summer
concerts raised the profile of both the program and the college within the community. The launching
of other Initiatives, such as a spring open house, could Increase awareness of the program during the
crucial pre-registration period.

3. Introduce a "flat rate" program for repeat registrants. Close to 20 per cent of last summer's
registrants enrolled In more than one course but were not exempt from having to pay a registration
fee for every course they took. A flat-rate program fee would allow students to take as many courses
as they wished by paying a sing le registration fee of $550.

4. Carry out further market research. Test newly revised curriculum on focus groups drawn from the
community and from among previous registrants.

Curriculum Development Actions

1. Ellmlnate non-productlve/non-profltable courses. Replace these courses with more generic

courses that could attract larger and more sustalnable audiences. New, lecture-style courses such as
Writing Your Autobiography and the History of Jazz could be offered, eliminating the cap on class size
that Is associated with workshop-delivered curriculum.

2. Restructure the Danceworks program. Refocus courses to appeal to a younger audience, aged
10-1 7, through the addition of jazz and hip-hop classes.

3. Restructure the drama workshop. Dispense with the guest speakers at $150 per 90-mlnute session,
for a saving of $1,200 on the afternoon curriculum of the event. We will dispense with the afternoon
special guest speaker. This constitutes a further saving of $2,000 on afternoon curriculum.

4. Consider cunlng the length of some courses from 30 hours to 20 hours. Course-time reduction
would also help to revltallze less popular courses with marginal enrolment that proved popular In our
lnltlal market research.

7
COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

5. Offer Saturday Intensive courses and dance- drama workshops. This move would attract a
new audience, one comprising Individuals whose schedules do not ordinarily allow them to take
on-campus daytime courses.

Service-Delivery Actions
1. Improve the physical environment of college facllltles. Begin by upgrading or repairing air
conditioning and ventilation systems so that room temperatures do not exceed a comfortable
23 degrees Celsius.

2. Upgrade student services during the summer months. Issue parking passes to students enrolled
in full-day courses and waive the system of hourly rates. Relocate vending machines so that they're
adjacent to summer program classrooms and lecture halls for easy access.

3. Review equipment-delivery procedures. Implement measures to ensure A/V equipment and other
resources reach classes on time to minimize Inconvenience and loss of Instruction time.

8
 11 PROPOSALS AND FORMAL REPORTS

REFERENCES

"About the Banff Centre for the Arts. (2005). Retrieved from http://www.banffcentre.ca/abouVhlstory

Elsner, E.W. (2004, Oct. 14). What can education learn from the arts about the practice of education?
Journal oflnternatlonal Education and the Arts, 5(4), Retrieved from http://ljea.asu.edu

Elster, A. (2002, Nov. 12). Learning through the arts program goals, features and pilot results. Journal of
International Education and the Arts, 2(7), Retrieved from http://ljea.asu.edu/v2n7
,,

9
COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

APPENDIX A
Revenue Breakdown

A breakdown of the total revenue of $266,635 Is set out below:

Summerworks (SW) Registration

721 @$337 $242,977
Muslcworks (MW) Registration
35@$299 10,465
Danceworks (DW) Registrations
52@$450 23,400

Student withdrawals:
Registrations
129@$337 ($43,473)
Cancellation fee
129@$32 4,128
(39,345)

Administration fee-$ 12
Relating to SW - 721 x S12 $ 8,652
Relating to MW - 35 x S12 420
Relating to DW - S2 x S12 624
Relating to other programs
($23,701 - $8,652 - $420- $624) 14,005

23,701

Other variables such as course-price range differential

5,437

$266,635

A breakdown of the total revenue shortfall of$46,902 ls set out below:

Muslcworks Program
(216)@$299 ($ 64,584)
Summerworks Reg lstratlon Excess
121 @$337 40,777
Danceworks Registration Shortfall
(28)@ $4SO (12,600)
$12 Related Registration Fee Amounts
(-216+121-28) = (151)x$12 (1,812)

Unexplained (9,019)

Total ($ 46,902)

10
 11 PROPOSALS AND FORMAL REPORTS

Expenses

Summary of Indirect Expense Variance

Stipend & Benefits-negative variance s 5,874

Casual & Overtime- negative variance 23,011
Supplies-negative variance 335
Marketing Services-negative variance 4,802
Staff Expense- negative variance 1,831
Registration Costs-positive variance (2,460)
Consulting-negative variance 67

Negative variance $33,460

Summary of Direct Expense Variances

Stipend & Benefits-positive variance $14,502

Teaching Aids-negative variance {4,552)
Program Arrangements-positive variance 4,136

Positive variance $14,086

11
COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

APPENDIX B
Student Exit Evaluation Survey Results

Responses to this survey were provided In confldence to Clairmont College for purposes of program plan-
nlng and Instruction. This survey was administered to students upon course completion. Of a total of 820
studernts enrolled In the summer program, 760 completed the exit survey.

Criteria Percentage of Respondents Ranking

Very Not
Excellent Good Good Poor Applicable
Performance and enthusiasm
of the instructor 34 38 18 10

Ablllty of the Instructor to provide a

supportive learning environment 25 20 40 5 10

Opportunity for Input and feedback 32 48 14 5

Classroom materials 10 15 60 15

Physical environment 11 30 35 24

Overal I satisfaction with the Instructor

and course 30 40 15 15

Innovation and appropriateness of

instruction and delivery methods 28 54 12 6

Sam piing of Comments and Suggestions on How Course/Program Could Be Improved:

Offer weekend or evening Instruction to accommodate students' work schedules and child-care
responsibilities.

Upgrade malfunctioning air conditioning system to ensure a comfortable learnIng environment for aln
students during the hottest month of the year.

Assist course Instructors through effective and efficient delivery of audiovisual equipment.

Extend opening hours of food services or relocate veindlng machines close to classroom locations.

Improve parking-fee system by Issuing passes to students enrolled In full-day courses.

Raise awareness of program within the community.

12
 11 I PROPOSALS AND FORMAL REPORTS

The Whole Report

Cl Does t he report fulfill your original intentions? Does it present a solution that is practical,
financially feasible, and appropriate?
Cl Is the report professional in its presentation? Is the t itle complete and accurate? Does
the transmittal letter tell readers what they need to know about the report? Does the
table of contents offer an overview?
Cl Is the report shaped according to the needs of its primary and secondary audiences?

lntrod uction
Cl Has the problem or report situation been sufficiently analyzed? Does the purpose
statement reflect this analysis?
Cl Does the introduction set the stage for the report? Does it supply information that
brings readers up to speed and guide them through the report?

Findings
Cl Is the problem subdivided for investigation?
Cl Does each heading cover all the material under it? Are al I subheads under a heading in
parallel form?
Cl Is your analysis given in sufficient detail?
Cl Are facts and assertions supported by evidence?
Cl Have you used sources that are reliable and appropriate for the type of information you
are expected to present?
Cl Do you cite your sources using appropriate documentation style?
Cl Is your language moderate and bias-free?
Cl Do v isuals, if they are needed, support and clarify written material, without distortion?
Are they straightforward and clearly labelled?

Conclusions and Recommendations

Cl Do facts and findings support conclusions and recommendations? Are
recommendations linked to purpose?
Cl Have you achieved what you wanted to achieve in writing your report?

Cl Have you created a feasible plan that w ill allow you (and, if necessary, your co-writers)
sufficient time and resources for completing the proposal or report?
Cl Have you identified the proposal or report's purpose, method, audience, and content?
Cl Does the document include all the required elements?
Cl Is the writing style appropriate? Does it adhere to your company's guidelines and the
audience's needs?
Cl Does the document use a reader-centred approach?
Cl Is research needed to support the document's content? If so, is the data reliable and
properly cited?
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
i[ WORKSHOPS AND DISCUSSION FORUMS
Proposals and Their Crituia. ln small groups, estah-
lish r.he application criteria for a provincial gov-
ernment grant that offers assistance to students in
ope rating a summer husiness. (The maidmi1m grant
availahle is $1,500.) Consider age restrictions, terms
. WRITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES
1. Analyzing Requasts for Proposals. Search business
classifieds, browse trade journal~. or vL~it company
websites to find an example of an RFP. Note the
specifications and requirements of the job and create
an outline of the proposal you would submit. Which
headings would he appropriate for the proposal you
would have to write?
2. Creating a Work Plan. For any of the case study exer-
cises in t he next section, prepare a work plan that
lists the pmhlem/purpose of the report, outlines the
method of conducting research, establishes a tt-i1ta
tive outline, and sets out a work schedule.
3. Identifying Conclusions and Recommendations.
ldentlfy each of the following as either a conclusion
or a recommendation:
a) Begin an in-house dayca re program ope rati ng
from 8:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. five days a week.
b) Disseminate this report in some form to employ-
ees to ensure thei r awareness of our company's
commitment to uphold iL~ ethics and procedures
policy.
c) Over half the respondents use public transit to
com L111t1te to and from campus at least three days
a week.
d) Recruit student leaders to o rganize, implement,
and staff a walk-safe program.
e) The effectiveness of RPG's ethics program dur-
ing 1.l1e fi rst year of implementation is most evi-
denced hy the active participation or employees
in the program and the 2,498 contact~ employees
made through the various channels available to
them regarding et.hies concerns.
of eligibility, restrictions on what the money can he
used for, and protocols for reporting expenditures
at the end of the summer. Exchange criteria with
another group and, on the hasis or the othe r group's
requirements, draft a winnjng proposal.
f) A safety-monitor program that relies solely on
voluntee rs can be successful hecause of the avail-
ahi lity of volunteer monitors and si1pp01t for the
initiative within the student hody.
4. Formatting Reference Entries. On the hasis of the fol-
lowing hihliograph ic information, create appropriate
reference entries in APA style.
a) Authors: James W Steelman, Shirley Desmond,
and LeGrand Johnson
Title: Fadng Global Limitatiom
PuhHsher: New York, Rockford Press
Date of publication: 2000
b) Author: Vi rginia Galt
Title of Ankle: "Time for some new tips for older
joh seekers"
Title of journal: Globe and Mail
Date of publication: January 29, 2005
Page: B9
c) Author: Jerry Useem
Title of Article: "Conquering Vertical Limits"
Title of Journal: Fortune
Date: February 9, 2001
d) Title of Article: "Eighty Percent of Comptinies that
Outsource HR Ftmctions Wm1ld Do So Again"
Online Source: The Conference Board
Date of publication: April 15, 2004
Date of retrieval: February 2 7. 2005
URL: <www.conference-board.org/utilities/
pressDetail.cfm ?press_m. 21 Tl>
S. Distinguishing Informal and Formal Reports. Identify
the following writing situations as requiring either
informal reports or formal reports:

a) You have heen asked to investigate the auto
mation of selected HR functions, including t.ech-
L1.ologies, training, resources, maintenance, and IT
support. You must report your findings and make
recommend ations to the direct.or of HR.
b) You have attended the three-day general meeting
and conference of certified management account
ants held in Edmonton , March 27- 29. Your
cleparr.ment.al manager has asked you to Hle a trip
report to update him on your activities.
CASE STUDY EXERCISES
1. Informal Internal Proposal. Think of a prohlem OT
challenge you have observed or experie nced at
your workplace. Do you have an idea or solution
that would hdp to reduce costs, improve customer
service, improve quality, or increase productivity?
Consider the feasi.hility of what you want to pro-
pose so that. you may justify expend itures in t.em1s
of the bottom line. Write up your idea in a hrief
infom1al proposal.
2. Informal Internal Proposal. What opportunities are
there to work from home? Consider what tech tools
would he needed at home (e.g., compute rs, In te rn et
access) and who would pay for them. Make your case
in an informal proposal to your current employer
o r instructor.
3. Informal Internal Proposal. As a texthook sales rep -
resentar.ive for a puhlisher of educational resources,
you are away from the office for up to a week at a
time as you make sales caUs to the schools, colleges,
and universities in your t.en-it.ory. Write a proposal
in which you suggest that you and other sales rep
resentatives he provided with wire less laptops and
smartphones.
4. Informal Internal Proposal. Roughly one-th.i rd of your
staff now 1.decommi1te, worki ng from home three to
five days a week. You requi re ongoing on-si.te tech-
nical support and repair from a dependahle mohile
service able to make house calls wit.bin one busi -
ness day. Your telecommuting employees live \vithin
a 100-kilometre radius of your office. lnvestigatt:
the options within your area and make a case to t.he
11 I PROPOS ALS AND FOR MAL REPORTS
c) Pit Stop, a chain of 1,900 convenience stores,
is conside ring taking the fast-food trend a step
further hy incorporating several brnnds into its
st.rateb'Y You have heen asked hy the chief of fran-
chise and marketing operations to investigate and
make recommendations on three quick-service
restaurant franchises with potential 1.0 share space
with you r convenience-store outlets.
vice-president of operations in an infom1al proposal.
S. Informal External Proposal. Young At Hean, a local
seniors organization, is looking for talented puhlic
speake rs and entertainers to fill its thi1ty-hour pro
gram of events for the year ahead. lt is scouting musi-
cians, stand-up comedians, community outreach
volunteers, expe1ienced world travellers, and sports
enthusiasts to give a series of three hour-long per-
fom1ances, lectures, demonstrations, travelogues, or
talks about hohhies. Prepare a short proposal det.ail-
i.ng a particular skill, talent, or puhlic s-ervice experi-
ence and outlining the format and content of each
hour-long presentation, with special mention of any
audiovisual equipment or materials you \vill use
or require. Explain why the progrnm you propose
would he of spedal interest to seni.ors.
6. Formal External Proposal. SporLs Fundamentals, a
retail sporting goods chain with 12 st.or.es positioned
in major malls and downtown locations, wants a new
store image, one that will appeal to a younger, hip-
per demographic. The company is looking for a cre-
ative design concept that will update store exteriors,
improve ease of access, maximize retail space (which
averages 370 square metres per store), and create an
identifiable store hrand hased on desib'l1 elemenLs.
Write a formal proposal for Omar Khan, president of
Sports Fundamentals.
7. Formal Report. A chain of clothin g retailers has
received complaints ahout the quality of its store
maintenance and customer service. Yo u have heen
asked to inspect one of the chain's stores and note
 COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS
your experiences and observat.ions. Were you greeted
when you an-ived? Was the st.ore clean and wdl
maintaiL'ted? Did a sales associate ask about yom
clot.hing needs? Did the associate suggest ot.her items
in which you might be interested? Was the sales asso
ciate polit.e, courteous, and helpful? Was t.he fit.ting
room you 11sed dean and well maintained? Did the
sales associate return and offer to find other it.ems
or garment sizes for you? H you made a purchase,
was it processed quickly and efficient.ly? You make
several visits in order to arlive at a rair and proper
assessme:nt. Consider if previous complaints about
customer service were j ust.ified and make recommen-
dat.iort~ based on your observations and experiences.
Direct your report to Cindy Latimer, vice-president of
in-store operations.
8. Formal Research Report Requiring Secondary
Research. Select one of the following quest.ions on
ONLINE ACTIVITIES
1. Writing an Abstract. Read "Abstracts and Executive
Summari es" from the Faculty of Applied Scit"11ce &:t
Engineering at the University of Toronto, then try the
abstract. writing exercL~e from Mount Royal College.
www.engin eering.utoronto.ca/Directory/students/
ecp/handhook/components/ahstracts.htm
http ://uncgsoc301.wordpress.com/exercises/
exercise-6-writing-an-abstract/
2. Writing a Report. This exercise, from Clll Wliting at
Hong Kong Polytechnic University, presents a husi
ness situ:ation involving a training course. Your task
is to write a report on the course aft.er first reading
background documents and watching a series of
interviews. You can submit your report for analy
sis and feedback, then modify it according to the
inst.ructions you receive.
h ttp://elc.polyu.edu.hk/cill/reportvideo
3. Using Formal Language in Reports. Gain practice in
fom1al writing hy completing this Clll Wliting exer-
cise. Although somewhat formulaic, this exercise is
useful practice for those suffering from writer's block.
http://elc.polyu.edu.hk/CILUeiw/reportformality
.aspx
which to base a report and create an out.line I.hat con
tains functional or descriptive headings.
a) Should online retailers complle customer profiles
to help market t.heir products?
b) Are on-site corporate daycare programs worth the
cost?
c) Can mobile telework- working from home or
car- increase productivity?
d) Do people over forty have trouble Anding jobs in
infom1al.ion technology? Is ageism ri fe in I.he IT
industry?
e) What coaching and development should he
provided to manage rs preparing performance
reviews?
f) What are the disadvantages of outsourcing?
g) Can temporary pop-up stores play a role in the
marketing of new products?
4. Completing a Report. Designed to help students
improve their writing fluency, this exercise requires you
to read a memo repmt and complete it hy choosing the
correct. option from the drop-down list. You may check
your answers at the end of the report, view explana
tions, and (when finished) read a corrected version.
http://ek.polyu.ed u.hk/CILUeiw/reportcnrrection
.aspx
S. Organizing Your Report. Complete these exercises
from Learn Higher lo gain practice in identifying stan
dard report sections and an-anbring them Ln logical
order. Scroll to t.he bottom of the page to check your
answers.
http://archive.learnhigher.ac.uk/resources/files/
Re port%20Wri tin g!Reports_Organise_You r_
Report_Activity.pdf
6. Avoiding Plagiarism. VLsit this page from the On.line
Writing Lah at Purdue University to test your know
ledge of plagiarism as it applies to a variety of
resource usages. Identify potential lisks of plagiarism
and decide what to do in each situation.
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/
resource/589/04

7. Understanding the Problem of Plagiarism. Read
Margaret Procter's "How Not to Plagiarize" and then
take the plagiarism test from the West.em Carollna
University's Wnting and Leaming Commons.
www.writing.utornnto.ca/advice/usingsources/
how-not-to-plagiarize
www.wcu.edu/academics/campus-academic
-resources/writing-and-leaming-commons-wald
farn l ty-too lbox/resources-for-teaching-writin g/
plagiarism-resources/the-plagiarism-self-test/
plagiarism.self-test/index.asp
8. Analyzing Annual Reports. Read Motley Fool's "How
to Read Annual Reports" and r.he Annual Reports
Library "Tips ror Reading an Annual Repo rt."
www.fool .co.uk/school/200l/schO11205 .h tm
www.zpuh.com/sf/arl/arl-read.html
Then, in a small group, analyze one or the annual
reports from the list below, using the following ques-
tions to jump-start your analysis:
\Vhat are the identifiab le sections in the annual
report?
How do photographs, infographics, and other
graphical elements relate to the text or the report?
11 I PROPOSALS AND FORMAL REPORTS
How is statistical and num erical data presented?
What types or appeals are evident? ln what ways is
the report persuasive?
How much disL1.1ssion is there of competition?
What is unique about the report's design and how
does it support the content? How could the design
of the report be improved? How does thLs report
differ from others in its industry?
Air Canada Annt1al Reports:
www.aircanada.com/en/about/investor/reports
.html
Canad ian Tire Annual Reports:
http://corp.canadiantire.ca/EN/INVESTORS/
FINANCIALREPORTS/Pages/AnnualReports.aspx
IBM Annual Reports:
www.ihm.com/annnalreport/
Lululemon Athletica Inc. Annual Report:
http://files.shareholder.com/dowuloads/LULU/
2360358439xOxSl193125-13-1 18393/1397187I
ftling.pdf
Tim Horton's Annual Report:
http://annualreport.timhortons.com/
LEARNING OBJECTIVES

1. Prepare for presentations and briefings by 5. Master effective public-speaking skills and
analyzing the occasion and profiling your apply strategies to Increase confidence.
audience.
6. Handle questions and conduct follow-up.
2. Gather material, select content, and
7. Organize, manage, and participate In
strategically structure your presentation.
meetings effectively.
3. Identify four methods of delivery.
8. Communicate by telephone productively.
4. Incorporate visual and multimedia aids,
9. Deal with the media and get your message
Including fllp charts, handouts, overhead
across.
transparencies, and PowerPolnt or Prezl slides.
 12 I ORAL COMMU NI CAT I ON

AS SMALL BUSINl!SS OWNERS taking part In The Globe and Malts networking challenge
know only too well, the secret to a great pitch Is really no secret at all. Attendees had a
chance to learn about pitch styles from the challenge's four finalists, but they also got to
share their thoughts on what makes a pitch successful. Colin Bell, managing partner at
Recyclesmart Solutions, says that the trick Is

to zoom out, pretend that you've never been In your business, and you have to explain
It to someone who has no Interest. They don't care about your business but you have
to get them Interested because the challenge Is for entrepreneurs, we're so Into our
busl1ness, we're so Inside It, so the really big trick Is to come out and pretend that you've
never heard of your business but want to become Interested In It:''

According to Cathy Miine, co-owner of Because You Said So .. . Promotions and Events,
"The Importance of a pitch Is to be clear, concise, to the point-exactly what you want to
cover and cover It off qulck." 2
The elevator pitch or speech Is among the newest arnd suddenly the most common of
business genres. The speaker has sixty seconds or so-the approximate time of an elevator
ride - to catch an Investor's attention with a concise, strategically planned description
that emphasizes how the company works. It Identifies the product or service being sold,
Its market, the revenue model (how money will be made), and the company's leaders,
competitive advantage, and competltors.3

Oral Presentations
The ability lo speak well on t.he job is as important as the ability lo write effectively.
Because so much daily work activity is carried out through speech rather than the w-rit-
ten word alone, oral communication and public-speaking skills can be critical to career
advancement, whatever your job duties may be. ln fact, successful oral presentations can oral presentation an Informative
enhance your reputation within an organization. They represent valuable opportunities to or parsuaslvc spocch delivered
using only notes and visual aids to
sell your ideas and demonstrate both your competence and your worth to your employers guide the speaker's performance.
and co-workers.
The prospect of speaki ng in front of others, however, can be nerve-racking. lt is
good to ..-emember that giving a presentation is in many ways similar to writing a docu-
ment and draws on the same o rganizational strategies and audience adaptations with the
same hasic purposes to inform, persuade, and promote goodwill. There are al~o some
distinct differences to keep in mind, as well as ones that differentiate live public speak-
ing from a recorded performance. In public speaking, there are no pause or playback
features. As far as the audience is concerned, a present.er has only one chance to make
a positive impression and get the message across correctly and persuasively. listeners,
after all, don't have the luxu ry of being able lo review a message as they would when
rereading printed text. Ideas and information must therefore be delivered for easy com-
prehension and retention so that listeners will not only remember what was said but also
know or believe a particular thing or be motivated to act on that infom1ation once the
presentation ls over.
Oral present.ations should (1) be simply structured, (2) be arranged around a specific
purpose, and (3) clearly identify the dominant idea listeners are meant to retain. A
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

presentation will have greater impact ir supporting details are simplified and visuals are
designed fo r readahilit.y at a glance. The advantage of the spoken word is that it pro
vokes an immediate reaction and allows for instant feedhack. listeners' non-verhal cues--
their moment-hy-moment reactions--can help you gauge and modify your perfom1ance;
their com ments and questions will, in t.he end, tell you if you succeeded in getting your
message across.

TYPES OF ORAL PRESENTATIONS

The tem1 oral presentation covers a variety of speaking activities--ranging in length, for-
mality, and style of delivery- which include the followi ng:

cond ucting workshops, seminars, and training sessions

addressing staff meetings
giving talks to duhs, societies, and organizations
making sales presentations
making a speech to a conference or gathering
giving an oral report or hriefing

ANALYZING THE SITUATION AND AUDIENCE

An effective presentation starts with knowing what to expect of your s urroundings
and what the audience expects of you. Understanding the context for your presenta
tion is essential if you hope to connect with the andience and achieve you r purpose,
whether that purpose is to infor.m , persuade, or simply convey goodwill. It is essential
to keep your audience's needs, expectations, and perspective in mind in order to make
appropriate adaptations.
How much assessment you need to do depends on whether you are speaking to col
leagues, visitors, or outsiders. Preparing to speak to an internal business audience involves
less analysis hecause your credihLlity is already established with listeners who know you. lt
is reasonahle to assume they \vill be int.erested in your topic hecause it is relevant to shared
business interests. However, speaki ng to outsiders presents !,'feater challenges hecause it is
harder to predict if your audience will he receptive and to determine what the audience's
needs and expectations might he_

Who is your audience?

Why will they he there and what will they expect from you?
What. is their attitude toward you and your suhject? Will there he resistance? How can
you counter any resist.ance?
What is your organizational role and relationship to your audience? Is yoUT rank in
the organization ahove or helow that of your listeners?
Will there he dedsion-make1s in the audience? What are their concerns?
Are there tensions o r conBicts within the audience?
How knowledgeahle will audience mt'1nhers he in the suhject area? How much should
you e>.'Plain?
 12 I ORAL COM M U NI CAT I ON

How will this topic appeal to thL~ audience?

How can you rdate this infom1at.ion to audience members' needs? What quest.ions
will they want you to answer?

What is the s11ealling situation?

What is the purpose of your presentation? What underlying concern has necessitated it?
What level o r fonnality does your organization usually expect from people giving oral
presentations?
In what sun-oundin gs will you make you r presentation? ls th e setti ng formal or
in fom1al?
How large is the room? Will it he equipped \vith a microphone or PA system? What
are the acoustics and seati ng arrangemenl~ like? What are the visual-aid facili ties and
how are they placed relative t.o the audience?
How much time has been allotted for your presentation? How long will listeners
expect you to speak?
ls your presen tation the prime attraction (the only presentation to be given) or will
there be presentations rTOm other speake rs? How does your presentation tie in with
the actions or topics of other participants?
What \vill happen before and aft.er your presen tation.?

An effective presentation is designed a round a specific purpose. That means you

should have something clear and definite to say and a reason ror saying it.

STRUCTURING PRESENTATIONS
The structure of your presen tation is important. Without t.he integration and coherence
that good organization provides, listeners can easily lose the thread of your argumen t and
miss importan t points. A simple, effective structure that accommodates th ree t.o five key
ideas is the best way to keep your listeners with you. Three common types are suitable for
an oral p resen tation:

logical structure. Any presentation worth listening to must be logical in its approach.
Listeners should be able to easily understand how each point you make relates to yotir
purpose. You can use signpost words (my first point, my next P"int) to gu ide listeners
through your presentation to show how what you have said relates to what comes next.
Narrative structure. The ability to tell an accurate:, credible, and compelling story
can innuence the acceptance o r policies, proced ures, and ideas. At the management
level especially, this skill is valued. Turn ing your information into a good story can
grab attention and make what you have to say memorable. Because statL~tics alone are
abstract and often hard to grasp, narratives provide an important way to ground the
in foi:mation. ln order for a storyline structure t.o work, however, the st.ory itself must
be well told, interesting, and relevant to your objectives.
Formal structure. Skilful handling of repetition can aid meaning and retention.
This is the idea beh ind the most common structure: for presen tations, with iL~ th ree
familiar divisions:
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

introduction (tell them wlhat you are goi ng to tell them)

main sect.ions (tell them)
conclusion (tell them what you have told them)

Any informative presentation should contain supporting details- facts, statistics, and
other forms of evidence- to back up your main points. Visual aids help t.o show l L~teners
what you mean, worki ng on the old assumption that a picture is worth a thousan d words.

DEVELOPING A THREE-PART PRESENTATION

1. Introduction: An effective introduction prepares your audience to understand your

sound bite a short, quotable
extract rrom a recorded Interview
that Is edited Into a news broadcast.
ideas and makes them want to listen to what follows. Use your opening remarks to
(1) aroi1se interest, (2) identify yomself and establish your credi bility, (:3) make your
purpose clear, and (4) preview your main points. Part of your introduction can also
be reserved for background information or a statement of how you will proceed .
Don't forget that your openJng remarks provide you with an opportunity to build
rapport and establish common ground with your audience, making it clear why they
should listen.
Aim to hook your listeners in the first sixty seconds. In a world of sound bites
and inst.ant messaging, audiences have come to expect fast st.arts and immediate
rewards for thei r attention. You can capture your audience through strong content
and energetic delivery, but first make it easy for your audience to want to l L~ten by
choosi ng a relevant and inte resting speech title that sets up positive expect.at.ions
about what you have to say. Dull, lifeless speech titles repel potential listeners before
the first word has even been uttered . A title with an element of surprise or novelty can
make a presentation sound enticing and worth Listening to.
You may want to introduce your topic with an attention-getting device, depending
on the situation:
St.ate an unexpected statistic or fact or poin t out an intriguing aspect of your topic.
Ask a question that raises an issue you will address.
DL~lay a key visual aid or perform a demonstration, perhaps one that involves the
audience.
Cite a relevant quotation.
Tell a joke or anecdote, hut only if it L~ fresh, appropriate, and relevant to the situa-
tion (and never make a joke at the ex11ense of the audience).

2. Body: The body of your presentation should develop your main theme and focus your
audience's thinking. Always base your content on the most recent data availahle-
fresh infom1ation usually gets the most at.tent.ion. Whether your presentation is per-
suasive or informative, you should balance information with context and analysis so
that your talk is more than just a torrent of facts. Give specific examples and offer
properly attributed quotations from respected authorities, paraphrased if necessary
in lanb'l.iage the audience will easily understand. Anticipate qnestions and incorporate
 12 I ORAL COM M U NI CAT I ON

the answers into your presentation. Depending on your material, you can present
youi: ideas and hring together facts in a varkty of ways:
chronological order (develop a timeline)
topical/logical order (relate parts t.o the whole or introd uce poinL~ in order of
importance or reverse order)
spatial order (map ideas visually)
journalistic quest.ions (ask Who? What? Where? When? Why? and How?)
prohlem- solution (demonstrate that a prohlem el'dsts and offer a solution or range
0 rsolutions)
exclusion of alternatives (arb>ue for the remaining option)
causal order (explain a series of causes and effects)
comparison/contrast (base assessment on si milarities and diffe rences)
pro-con (review the arb>uments for and against a certain thing)
process (identify a sequence of steps or stages)
No matte r which method you choose, you should dearly ann ounce each point as
it comes so that listeners will know when you have completed one point and hegun
another.

3. Conclusion: Don't simply stop talking and walk away. You should end hy helping
your audience understand the significance of your presentation and remember its
main points. Your closing comments should he a hriief summary developed in one of
the following ways:
Restate the main issues you want the audience to remember.
Rest.ate the point you started with in order to franne your presentation.
Issue a challenge or call to action (this method is suitable for persuasive
presentations).
Ask a quest.ion for I.he audience t.o think ahout.
Your conclusion should bring the presentation full circle and leave 1.he audience
with a positive impression of yon and your ideas, so never end i.t prematurely j ust
because you are rattled or nervous. Your introduction and conclusion may he the last
parts of your presentation you write, but they are also the most crucial in helping
your audience understand the value of your ideas.

ORAL PRESENTATION OUTLINE

Planning a presentation can be challenging, especially if you have to keep track of a
number o f points. Use the following template to prepare an outline or expand it to suit
your needs.
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

Tltle - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I. INTRODUCTION

A. Device to gain attention

B. Establish credibility
C. Involve audience
D. State purpose
E. Preview main points

Transition - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
II. BODY

A. First main point - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Supporting details 1. - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
2. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
3. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Transition - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

B. Second main point - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Supporting details 1. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
2. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
3. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Transition - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

C. Third main point - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Supporting details 1. - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
2. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
3. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Transition - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Ill. CONCLUSION

A. Summary of main points

B. Closing device
C. Question period

USING VISUAL AIDS

As d iscussed in Chapter 10, visual ai.ds help you to show what you mean. Not only do
they clarify and emphasize your material, hut they also increase iLs impact, helping to aid
retention and involve your audience. As well as supplementi ng the spoken word, they
serve as an aid lo your own memory, eliminating t.he need for addit.ional notes and , along
with it, helping to improve your poise, delivery, and self-confidence.
Oral presentations enhanced by visual aids are more pe rsuasive, credihle, and profes
sional. lt is therefore important to use good visual aids whenever possihle and to know
how lo use them effectively so that they enhance your message rather than detract from it.
After all, the audi ence is supposed to listen to you and not he too distracted hy yoiir props
and technolob'Y which are best used in a supporting role.
 12 I ORAL COMMU NI CAT I ON

Never allow visual aids to dominate so much that they prevent you from connecting
with your audience or getting your message across.
Use aids sparingly for maximum impacti don't confuse your audience by using more
than 12 visuals per presentation.
Make your visuals consistent in size, font, contrast, and spacing. Type should be bold-
faced and no smaller than 30-point size.
Limit the amount of information on each visual to avoid clutter and confusion: use
simple graphs and charts to show data trends and include no more than two illustra-
tions per visual, no more than five or six numbered or bulleted points, and no more than
35 words on seven lines.
Prep<ire each visual carefully and proofread it for accuracy.
Give each visual aid a title that makes a point.
Test audiovisual equipment in advance and check the optics of the room to ensure that
all participants have unobstructed views of the materials you plan to use.
Put up your visual aid only when you are ready to talk about it, and give your audience a
few moments to digest the information it supplies.
Comment on- but do not read from- what you show, and match your delivery to the
content of the visual. Remove the visual as soon as you are finished with it.

TYPES OF PRESENTATION AIDS

The type of visual aids you use t.o support your presentation depends on their cost, the
formality of the situation, and the flexibility you need to convey your ideas and connect
with your aud ience.

Chalkboard, Whiteboard, and Blank Flip Charts

Chalkboards, whiteboards, and flip charts are Hexible and useful aids, suitable for small flip chart a large standmounted
audiences (und er thirty) and informal presentations. However, speaking and writing at the writing pad With bound pages that
can be turned over at the top.
same time can be a challenge. If you speak first and then write down what you have said,
there may be odd lapses in your delivery. Post only your most essential points and write
legibly, in letters large and distinct enough lo be dear lo everyone in the audience. Then
explain w hat you have w1itten , standing to the side and turning lo the audience. Avoid
speaking into the board or Hip chart because the audience likely won't be able to hear you.
The main disadvantage of these aids is their messiness: whiteboards require dry-ink mark-
ers that can smear and smell unpleasant; cleaning whiteboard and chalkboard surfaces can
he a nuisance and o rten will leave you ink-stained or in a. cloud of dust

Prepared Flip Charts and Posters

Prepared flip charts and posters are the most basic o r aids. They must be large enough to
he seen by the enti re audience and clear enough to communicate your points. Visuals must
always look professional. In general, prepared Hip charts and posters are suitable for audi-
ences of up lo forty or fifty and can be used lo display rairly complicated material. Their
main d rawhacks are their size, which makes them awkward to carry around, and their
low-tech appearance, which makes them less appealing to technically savvy audiences.
 CO M M U N I C ATI N G FOR RESU LTS
overhead projector a devlca that
projects the enlarged Image of a
transparency onto a screen.
PowerPolnt pmscntatlon software
offorlng standard tern plates and
other features that aid In the
design of Integrated text and
effective visuals.
Prezl a cloud based presentation
software In which users plot text,
objects, video links, etc. In a series
of pat11s.
Keynote Apple's presentiltlon
software, which features visual
aid options, 30 transitions,
and animation.
Overhead Projector Transparencies
Although compute r-based presentations have largely replaced the use of ove rhead trans-
parencies, you may encounter a situation where transparencies are recommended or pre-
ferred . These versatile visuals can he prepared cheaply on a copier or computer and easily
stored for fumre use. The overhead projectors used to display them are widely available
and allow an image t.o he projected in varying sizes so that it is visihle t.o even the lar-
gest audience. Overlaying transparendes-the technique of placing one item o n top of
another- is useful for adding or modifying data.
Despite these obvious pluses, overheads are decided ly low-tech. Any presentation
supported by I.hem can seem outdated and less than cutting-edge. To use this aid to hest
advantage, keep the Hghts on as you show your transparencies (so that the audie11ce stays
awake) and speak loudly enough for your voice to he heard over the hum of the projector
fan. Focus the image and check the hackup hulh before you hegin to talk, then make sure
you stand to one side so you don't block the audience's view of the screen. It is never a
good idea to read from transparencies. Limit the number of transparencies you show to
curh your reliance on them at the expense of other delivery techniques.
Videos, Films, Models, and Samples
Films and videos are most effective in the form of short clips, introduced strategically to
reinforce key points or concepts. While a well -made clip may he memorable, such an aid
should not he allowed to take over I.he presentation. If a product is heing discussed, it can
he displayed and manipulated to demonstrate its use and capabilities.
Handouts
Distrihuting handouts that summarize your presentation plan or provide a permanent rec
ord of graphs and other data can greatly enhance the audience's understanding and reten-
tion. Typical handoul<; include out.lines, articles, hrochures, summaries, speaker n.ot.es, and
even printed copies of PowerPoin t slides (featuring two, three, four, six, or nine slides per
page). It is important to time 1.he distrihution of material<; for minimal disrupt.ion. Unles.<;
participants need the handout to understand what you say, such materials should. he given
out in advance or at the end, not in the middle of your presentation , when the sound of
rattling papers can drown you out.
Multlmedia and Computer Visuals
Computer-based presentations are the medium of choice for husiness people today.
Graphic programs and slideware such as PowerPoint, Prezi, and Keynote make it pos-
sible to deliver a dynamic, professional-looking presentation and tell your story visually in
several ways:
as an onscreen slide show (complete with transit.ion effects)
viewed on your laptop monitor by just a few people
viewed on a hig screen hy a large audience (multimedia projector required)
on paper (audience handouLs with one or several images per page)
on overhead transparencies
output to JS -millimetre slides
The capabilities of PowerPoint make it easy for you to create slides \vith a variety
of formats, such as hulleted lists, numeric charts, tahles, or organizational charts (pie,
 12 I ORAL COM M U NI CAT I ON

Overhead Transparencies

Thi~ is an example of an ineffective transparency.

Well-planned overhead transparencies add interest and help to clarify the message
you deliver in your presentation. Effectively designed transparencies communicate
quickly and clearly. T here are several important guidelines to follow in creating
overhead transparencies.

Use consistent type style, Size, and spacing.

Use a readable font
Use a series of overlays to explain a complex system or to elaborate on the base.
Limit the amount of information, keeping the number of bulleted or numbered items to five
or six per transparency. Avoid overloading bulleted or numbered items. Do not attempt to
communicate too much information. Use a series of transparencies to explain a complex
point or topic.
Use boldface type that is at least 30 points in size (letters of at least 1/4 inch in height).

Cover 0NE idea per transparency.

Keep the image clear, simple, and uncluttered, with as few lines as possible, and ensure that
every element contributes to the communication objective.
Enlarge charts, graphs, and illustrations to fit the 8 by 10-inch transparency formal
Replace or enlarge lettering in charts, graphs, or illustrations not specifically designed as
transparency originals.

FIGURE 12.1

Ineffective Transparency
 CO M M U N I C ATI N G FOR RESU LTS

GUIDELINES FOR CREATING

OVERHEAD TRANSPARENCIES

Keep the image clear, simple, and uncluttered.

Ensure every element contributes to the

communication objective.

Use a consistent and readable boldface font

(30 points or larger) along with consistent
spacing.

Focus on one idea per transparency- no more

than five or six bulleted or numbered items.

Use overlays or a series of transparencies to

explain complex topics or systems.

Enlarge charts, graphs, and illustrations to fit

the 8 by 10-inch format.

FIGURE 12.2

Effective Transparency
 12 I ORAL COM M U NI CAT I ON

Suggestions for Successful

Networking
Develop a database of your contacts.
Become involved in professional
activities.
Call new contacts.
Make follow-up calls.

FIGURE 12.3

Sample PowerPoint Slide

har, and line charl~) . You can design slides that not only incorporate text, graphics, and
artwork hut also include audio clips, animation, and video features. PowerPoint's build
capahility enables you to add, highlight, or reposition text and incorporate visual effecl~
right up until the time you present. Once you have designed and assembled your slide
show, you can take the further step of publishing yom presentation on the In ternet,
through plat.forms such as Slideshare, or your companys int.ranet. lf you are distribut-
ing your presentation online, add a voice narration by usi ng Windows Movie Maker and
a microphone. ln Keynote, voice narration can be recorded and the file converted to a
movie.+ Converting your presentation into a PDF file will automatically embed audio and
video files in a single compressed file.

DESIGNING A POWERPOINT PRESENTATION

With its many features, a PowerPoint presentation is sure to impress, but it.~ slickness can
sometimes fail to engage an audience. Don't let t.he "wow factor" of an electronic presenta-
tion overshadow what you have to say. Remember that digital design involves a particular
set of considerations. Here are some tips for making tl1e best of what PowerPoint has
to offer:

Use templates. PowerPoint comes stocked with templates for constructing slides template a stored p;ittern for
quickly and easily. These combine borders, fonts, and colours fo r optim al visual a document from which new
documents can b<! made.
effects and offer guidance on a variety of layouts. 0~1ce you gain confidence in using
PowerPoint, you can customize templates to suit your needs.
Choose a colour scheme. The colours of your slides should relate similar elements,
high.light important points (warm colours are good for this purpose), and pem1it
good visib ili.ty with available room lighting. Use dark backgrounds with light text
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

only in darkened rooms. Dark text on Light hackbrrounds is hest for well-Ht rooms.
Restrict yourself to four or fi.ve colours and give thought to how colour and vihrall!:y
might change when projected .
Keep slides simple. Each slide should have a maxim um of six lines of text and six
words per line. Use holdface, sans serif type (e.g., Helvetica) in consistent point sizes
for easy readahility. Cramming too much information on a slide makes it difficult
for your audience to read and l L~ten at the same time and is an annoying source of
eye strain; interspersing or combining text with visual elements can allow vi.ewers to
ahsorh information more readily
Follow the eight-second rul e. Yoiir viewers should he able to comprehend the info r-
mation on the slide in no more than eight seconds.,
Make strategic use of images. An image, especially a well-chosen photograph (one
of at least 150 dpi), can cmwey an idea or concept better than text alone can. Use
on line photo editors (such as Pixlr or Fotoflexer) to co rrect images. If a slide contains
text and an image, you can give emphasis to the form er hy using rese rve type (e.g.,
white type on a black hackground) to b'llide the viewers eye first to the text and then
to the image. Use a photo credits slide at the end of your presentation to acknow-
ledge sources.
Make data graphics clear, concise, and easy to understan d. Seen from a distance,
the detail on data graphics and tables may he difficult to make out. To a void this
problem, do the follO\ving:
Use a dear font for the title and labels.
Sim plify data and limit the amount of detail.
Make judicious and consistent use of solid colour while avoiding distracting, busy-
looking hackgrounds that can interfe re with the design o r your slides.
Insert citations at the hottom left of the graphic to clearly identify the data\; source.
Acknowledging your sources gives you more credibility as a presenter.
Integrate m edia, such as videos and podcasts, with care. Don't include media ele-
ments for the sake of appearing tech savvy Make sure that items add to the content of
your presentation and won't distract or frustrate your audience.
Put titles on slides for easy reference. Using tides will help you find slides easily
d uring your presentation. lf you plan to save your presentation, name your files so
that you will remember what they contain.
Don't use too many slides. A slide marathon can induce boredom and put your
audience to sleep. CorL~ider the amount of information your audience can ahsorh in
the allotted time. Count on spending two or three minutes discussing each slide.
Create an agenda slide. A list of hyperlinked topics pertai ning to specific.: areas of
your presentation will help your audience grasp where you are in your presentation.
Include a conclusion and a references slide. Like a written document, your
PowerPoint presentation must contain a conclusion and citations of any information
taken from other sources.
Use uansitions and animation. Effects such as dissolve, fade, vortex, or wipeout
keep the eyes of your audience focused on the screen hetween slides. Reveal hulleted
items one at a time so that audience members won't he tempted to read ahead. You
can also dim previous items so that the audience doesn't linge r on a point for too
long. T.t is usually hest to use one transition effect consistently rather tharu to over-
stimulate viewers with an excessive use of animation.
 12 I ORAL COM M U NI CAT I ON

Proofread the slides before your presentation. lf you are printing the slides to use
as handouts, print a copy in advance to make sure there are no errors.
Use the "Slide Sorter" and "Outline View" to review your presentation. These
elemenL~ allow you to see the structure and big picture of your present.at.ion and
reorganize slides easily. Sllde Sorter can help you gauge the flow of your presenta-
tion and its brraphical elemenL~; with Outline View you can see charts on the slides
in miniature.
Produce speaker notes as reminders. Notes will help you remember what to say
ahom each slide. You can set up notes to appear on a. second monitor or you can print
them. When printed, each page will show the slide on the top half and the accom-
panying prompt notes on the bottom half. Consider using these notes as handouts.
Back up your work. Don't let your time and effort in developing a presentation go to
waste because of a system failure. Copy everything to a USB flash drive or a Zip disk o r
write your files to a recordable CD. Take printouts of your slides to your presentation
for ready reference if your equipment fails.
Rehearse the slide show. To ensure your slide show fits the allotted time, you can
do a dry run and have PowerPoint record the timing. You can then edit or eliminate
slides as needed.
Never read from a slide. Maintain eye contact with. the audience as you explain and
amplify each slide you display. Never assume that a slide is self-ei..1Jlanatory or will
compensate for weak content.
Keep the cognitive style of PowerPoint in mind. Many organization..~ now favour
PowerPoint reports over traditional hardt:apy ones. However, this preference is not
without implications, especially regarding the accuracy and reliab ility of i11fom1a-
tion presented through this channel. American statistician and Yale professor Edward
R. Tufte has studied the cognitive style of
PowerPoint and noted some potential prob-
lems in the way it shapes and foreshortens
thought and evidence. Its audience-oriented
content, low spatial resolution, deeply hier-
arch ical single-path structu re, and conspicu- For details on PowerPoint features, see
ous use of decoration reduce the analytical Microsoft's"What's New in PowerPoint
quality of presentations and can sometimes 2013": http://goo.gi/TLMQOY
corrupt statistical analysis. Savvy presen t-
ers sho uld keep these potential weaknesses
in m ind and ensure that excellent content ls
clearly presented.1

PREZI
Developed in 2008, Prezi is a cloud-based presentation software that has begun to ri val
PowerPoint in popularity. Prezi users present their ideas on a virtual canvas and, th rough
a common tool palette, have the ability to rotate images, pan and zoom, or edit an object.
Objects are plotted and connected on navigational sequences or paths, which give the
presentation its linear sequence. The software also enables presenters to show viewers the
"big picture" and to in troduce elements of surprise for a more engaging viewer expe rience
if they follow these steps:
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

Reduce clutter wit11 invisible frmnes. The "Draw Invisible Frame" option helps in
organizing content without. adding a convt:nt.ional frame.
Layer text and ohjects. Objects can layered by sendi ng them backward or forward
with the "Transformation" tool.
Use rotation and siz;e to co nvey meaning. Rotation can be used to emphasize chan-
ges in perspective, thinking, or understanding about a particular topic. The size of
objects can be increased for :greater emphasis.
Draw frames in a 4:3 aspect ratio. Th is ratio allows you to see how your images will
appear when projected.
Make your transitions smoo ther. Ensi.ire contim1ity and coherence hy segueing from
one path poin t to the next, showing an overview
at rei,'Ular in te rval~, creating path points that are
not long distances apart, and exercising restraint in
using rotation-"

Watch this tutorial to learn about
many of Prezi's features: http://
goo.gl/cq9fY2
This program offers users enhanced storytell-
ing capabilities and audiences a somewhat more
dynamic presentation experience than PowerPoint
does. However, Prezi has been criticized for the
somewhat diso1ienting and dizzying effect that can
result [wm overuse of the zooming user interface.

PECHA KUCHA PRESENTATIONS

Named for the Japanese for "chit-chat," Pecha Kucha (or PechaKucha) was developed
a decade ago for gatherings where designers would showcase their creative work. Th is
form.at for brief, energetic, and strongly visual
presentations lim its speakers to twenty auto -
matically progressing image-based slides apiece,
each shown for no more than twenty seconds,
for a total runn.ing time of six minutes and forty
seconds. Speakers such as culture critic Lawrence
For more information on Pecha Kucha,
Lessig have adapted techniques from Pecha Kucha
visit Pecha Kucha 20x20 and read Jason
B. Jones's 'Challenging the Presentation to become more dynamic public speakers and
Paradigm (in 6 minutes, 40 seconds): engaging storyte llers.
Pecha Kucha": To create effective Pecha Kucha, decide what
http://goo.gi/OHZsjt you want your audience to remember a11d select
powerful, relevant, and high-reso lution images
that support th.is theme and solidify your message.
Edit your content carefully. 0

METHODS OF DELIVERY
Whkhever met.hod of delivery you choose for your presentation, it should bring out the
best in your material and not call attention to iL~elf at the expense of what you have to say.
The followi ng methods are the most common ways of deliveri ng a speech to a group:

1. Manuscdpt Method: When, you have to present extensive or complex data, with no
margin for misinterpretation, you may need to prepare a script that can be read from
 12 I ORAL COM M U NI CAT I ON a:a
in full. Because it may he difficult to keep an audience with you a.~ you focus on the
printed page, make an extra effort to maintain as much visual contact with the audi-
ence as possible, looking up as you begin an important point or semence. The script
iL~el f should he typed in large letters and tripled-spaced for ea.~y readahili.ty at a glance.
Rem.ember that text read aloud can sound bming and expressionless due to flattened
innection, so try to inject some life into your voice hy changing your tone appropri-
ately and marking your sc1ipt to indicate where sped.al expression is reguired.
2. Memorization: While memorizing a speech can enliven the cormectio n with the
audLence, this met.hod can also backfire if you find yourself struggling to recall what
you planned to say. listeners can easi.ly detect slip-ups and ex11ressions made stale
from constant repetition . Consequently, the focus is not on what you have to say hut
on your inability to remember it. Unless you have years of acting ex11erience, you may
want to limit yoursetr to memorizing the general sh.ape o r your presentation, its key
points, and your opening remarks instead of every word you plan to deliver.
3. Impromp tu Speaking: Other situations -an info rmal gathering or celehration-
might call for a short impromptu speech, made on the spur of the moment without Impromptu speaking a delivery
the aid of prepared notes or the benefit of advance notice. Listeners will not expect method In which the speaker
makes remal1cs without the aid of
new info rmation or specialized knowledge, only the ahili.ty to put a new spin on prepared notes.
something you already know. A few pleasant, well-chosen remarks, delivered in less
than two minutes, are usually all that is required.
4. Extemporaneous Method : Most oral presentations benefit from a combination of
thoughtful preparation and a spontaneous, natural delivery style that engages the
audience and holds its interest. Somewhere betwee n ad libbing (which leaves too
much to chance) and reading aloud word for word (which can lull listeners to sleep)
L~ extemporaneous speaking- a form of delivery that sounds fresh and cmnfortahle extemporaneous speaking a
yet maintains a sense of or<ler from the planning you have done. method of delivery In which the
speaker relies on notes rather than
Worki.ng with memory aids, such as small cue cards, can boost your confidence manuscript memorization.
whe11 speaking in puhlic. They are often just enough to jog your memory, giving you
the prompting you need so you can expand on the details. You should he ah le to fit an
outline of your presentation on a single card, along wi.th any guotations or statistics,

Founded In 1924, Toastmasters

International helps people
become better communicators
and more confident public
speakers through Its
work.shop format, In which
members make prepared and
Impromptu presentations.
The organization currently
has clubs In over one
hundred countries.
Sourccii 0 Marmaduke St. John I Alnmy
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

lettered a~ large as possible i L1 hold illk and highlighted ror quick refe rmce. All addi-
tional card can he used for each main section of your prest:ntation, but don't make the
mistake of wri ting out your speech in full. The purpose of this memory tool is simply
to prompt you to your next main point. If you have had sufficient practice, you may
he ahle do without the cards altogether. The immediacy your material gai11s from
extemporaneous delivery helps to ensure your message gets across, whether your pur-
pose is to inform or pe rsuade your Listeners.

REHEARSING A PRESENTATION
Practice sessions can help you r delivery go more smoothly by red ucing nervousness,
improving perrom1ance, a11d giving you the opportunity to judge your ti me and refine
your content. Once you have drafted your presentation and prepared your visual aids, you
are ready to practise the present.ation itself.

Practise aloud on-site or set up conditions that closely resemble those in which you
will be speaking. Familia rize yourself with using your vL~ual aids, integrating them
and notillg how lollg it will take to introduce each item alld explain a particular poillt.
Time yourself. Deliver your speech aloud, staying within the time pe rmitted to you
and noting where to pause. Make any adjustments, cutting out or adding material to
ensure your presentation is the right length.
Master your topic. Know your material well enough to be able to speak confidently
wi thout relying word for word Olla script. Overp reparing by writing out your presen-
tation in full and then memorizing it can kill spontaneity. Your delivery will be livelier
if you speak from a note card that helps you familia rize yourseU wi th the sequence
of the material. Don't count on your abili ty to wing it or ad lib your way th rough an
entire presentation.
Record yourseU or ask a friend to listen to your presentation and give you feedback.
Rehearse in front of a mirror. Video yourself to detect mannerisms that might he dis-
tracting. Aim to develop a well-pitched speaking voice.
Get a feel for the room. Inspect the seating arrangement and, if you plan to use them,
make sure the sound system and audiovist.ial eqt.1ipment are working properly. Set up
or position a screen for optimal viewing.
Learn stress-reduction techniques. Because shallow hreathillg can rriake you feel dizzy,
breathe deeply several times before you begin. Visualize your success as a speaker. In
the days or hours leading up to your presentation, you may find it helpful to try
these techniques:
Practise breathing from your diaphragm (the muscular part of your respiratory sys
tem) with a simple exercise. Lie on your hack and place your hand o n your stom
ach. With your mouth closed, inhale through your nose and feel your stomach
rise; exhale slowly, and feel your stomach fall. Try to spend the same length of time
exhaling as inh aling, counting to yourself if you have to. Once you are comfort.able
\vit.h the technique, practise while sitting in a chair. You can do this exercise incon
spkuously while you are waiting to he called to speak.
Attune yourself t.o y01.1r body's tension patterns by doing a muscular relaxation
exercise. Lying on the fl oor, clench and unclench each muscle group several ti mes,
starting wi th your right and left fisL~ and progressing Lo your forearms, shoulders,
neck, and so on. Focus OT.1 the difference between tension and relaxation.
 12 I O RA L CO MM U NI C A TI ON

DELIVERING A PRESENTATION
When the time comes to deliver your presen tation , make eve ry effort to be at your best
and project a poL~ed, professional image. If public speaking makes you nervous, put mi nd
over matter and focus on your material and rapport with the audience. Stay in control
o r the situation rather than allowing it to con trol you. Being confident and speaking in
an animated way, with genuine enthusiasm for your topic , can give your words staying
power. Here are a rew tips for overcoming nervousness and reaching your audience:

1. Dress appropriately. It is important to look the part if you want to have credibility
and be taken se ri ously Wear comfortable, professional-looking clothing and adjust it
in private beforehand (e.g., straightening a tie or ski rt) so you don't appear dishev-
elled. Check your brrooming for tell tale signs of sloppiness (such as stains or stray
hairs) and remove any large pieces of jewellery that might inte rfere with a micro-
phone, should you require one.
2. Arrive early. Allow time before the presentation to familiarize yourself with your sur-
roundings. Test the acoustics and decide where you can position yourself to be visible
to the entire audience.
3. Mai ntain good posture and move in a relaxed, controlled , natural way. Make an
effort not to appear stiff and mechan ical, like a robot. If you remain seated during a
presentation , sit without slumping in orde r to im prove your voice projection. H you're
on your feet to speak, stand up straight and relax your shoulders. You can take a step
or two to one side ror emphasis at key transitional points; other.vise, stand without
swaying from side to side. Avoid unnecessary hand gestures (such as waving, fidget-
ing, or jamming hands in pockets). The same goes fo r inappropriate facial expressions
(exaggerated grinning or grimacing) or anything that might he distracting.
4. Pause to collect yourself before beginning. Adjust your notes, take a breath, main-
tain your poise, and take control of the situation. Look at the audience, not at your
notes, as you make your opening remarks. Commit the first minute of your presenta-
tion to memory so you can speak unaided.
5. Maintain eye contact and use it to build rapport a11d gauge audien ce interes t. The
eyes of your audience members are a barometer of their interest, telling you if the audi-
ence is involved and understands you. Listeners stari ng at the noor and looking around
are visual cues that your aud ience has tuned out. 1t may take time to get comfort.able
\vith your audience, so start by looking for a fiiendly face and making eye cont.act for
a few seconds hefore you move on to someone else. Because scoping out an audience
all at once can make you appear nervous, establish diTect eye contact with a number of
people in your audience and occasionally glance at the whole group while speaking.
6. Avoid long sentences and polysyllabic words. Use concrete language and short,
active-voice sentences that follow natural, con versa tiona1 speech patterns.
7. Speak in a clear, audible voice, hut don 't shout. Maintain reasonable volume and
aim for good, natural voice projection , gauged to the size of the audience and venue.
Keep your head up and open your mouth slightly wider than in normal speech. Th is
is a good way to prevent yourself from mumbling. [f your voice won't he amplified,
ask "Can you hear me at the back of the room?" as you begin .
8. Pace yourself accordingly. Slow dmvn slightly ror emphasis and speed up sligh tly to
convey enthusiasm, hut always keep nervousness in check. Speak slowly enough to
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

enunciate words clearly and prevent them from running together. lf you are running
out of time, don't speed up so much that listeners cannot follow what you are saying
or mistake your haste for nervousness. You can make your content flt into the time
you have left hy editing your material as you go.
9. Shape your phrasing and use inflection to give meaning and add interest. Your
pitch- o r tone of voice-should sound natural and match your content. Use a down
ward in flection, an emphasis at the end of sentences, 1.0 counteract the monotone that
results from nervousness and to empha_c;ize key poinl<;. Never phrase a statement like
a question by raising your voice at the end. This hahit can make you sound uncertain
and nervous, sapping your listeners' confid ence in what you have to say. Speak with
conviction, as though you helieve in what you are saying, to project your confidence
and credibility.
10. Never use slang or bad grammar. Your credibility is on the line- speaking in an
unprofessional way is the fastest way to lose it.
11. Pause briefly t.o collect your thoughts and creat.e emphasis. Don't resort to Allers
or verbal tics (such as um , like, and ah). Plan your transitions ahead of time so that
you can move easily from one topic to the next.
12. Remember that you are a living, breatl1ing human being, not a statue. Don't stand
as if transfixed by your audience. Rt'1Tlain calm and poised and remt'1Tiher to breathe
(from the diaphragm rather than taking small gulps of air). Animate your delivery hy
integrating voice and gestures, leavi ng one hand free to point to vLual aids. Gesture
and move your body when you need to shift to major points. Ile professional hut let
your personality shine through.
13. Bring your presentation to a close. Thank your audience and make materials avail-
able to them. Take questions and make yourself availahle for follow-up discussion,
if necessary.

HANDLING QUESTIONS
Questions from the audience can help you gauge the effect and outcome of yoiir presenta
tion and give you a second chance to get your message across. Audience members may
wan t to ohtain additional information, get clarification on a point you made, o r express
another point of view.
How you deal with questions depends on the formality of your presentation and
the rapport you have with your audience. When speaking to a large audience, you can
usually hold questions to the end. A question peri od afterwards can help to eliminate
interruptions that can reduce momentum. During infom1al presentations, you LTiay pause
for questions at intervals, allowi11g you to check that the audience is still following you.
Inviting spontaneous quest.ions keeps audience LTiembers involved and prevents them
from hecom ing too passive.
As you begin your presentation, make it clear how, if at all, you intend to hand le
questions. In taking questions, stay in control so that the interaction is productive, not j ust
a free-for-all:

1. listen carefully to the entire question. lf a question is confused or hard to hear, ask
the questioner to repeat it or repeat or paraphrase it yourself for the audience. Th L~
practice has the added heneAt of huying you time if you have to consider or formulate
your answer, hut don't automatically repeat eve ry question that is asked of you.
 12 I ORAL COM M U NI CAT I ON

2. Separate s tnmds of complex or two-part questions. Disentangle parts or a question

and deal with them one at a time.
3. Ensure your answers are long enough hut not too long. It might be tempting to
launch into another speech during an end-of-presentation Q&:A, hut refrai n from
doing so-you might wear out your welcome. On the other hand , shon answers can
sound cun, even rude, so fi nd a point hetween I.he two. Relate your answer to the
concerns or the questioner.
4. Don't feel you have to answer every question. There is usually no harm i.n admit-
ting that you do not have an answe r. In some cases, you can say the answer will come
later in the presentation or you can throw the question to the audience for feedback
and discussion.
5. Never put down a questioner. Ile courteous, even if a question seems silly or has
been fully answered during the presentation. lt may be helpful to ask the questioner
to explain further.
6. Be firm with overzealous questioners. Don't allow a persistent or long-wi nded
questioner to monopolize the proceedings. Wait for a pause and politely interrupt,
asking the questioner to hrieny summarize the question heing asked. The longer this
person remains on a soapbox, the more frustrated other listeners will become.
7. Stay on topic. Don't allow yourself to he drawn off topic hy an unrelated question
or to have words put in your mouth. In the case of the fom1er, say that the unrelated
question is interesting and mention that yon will he prepared to answer it later.
8. Don't start by assuming a question L~ hostile. Keep your cool and avoid sarcasm
whe11 challenged by an angry questioner, even i.f it means making an extra effort not to
reciprocate any unplea~antness in your response. If you overhear nasty asides from the
audience, single out and ask the person responsible to share his or her comments with
the group. If asides tum to heckling, you have several options: finesse your way out of
the situation with a humorous reply, give a se1ious answer, carry on as if you have not
heard the remark , appeal ror a fair hearing, or ask that the heckler be ejected.
9. End by thanking the audience for their questions and feedback. Show that you
value the question peri od as part of the communicative process.

liberal leadershlp candidates

Martin Cauchon and Justin
Trudeau participate In one
of five debates held during
the 2013 leadership race. In
polltlcal debates, candidates
must practise many of the
points discussed In this
chapter. They must make
prepared statements and more
spontaneou s rebuttals within
allotted time limits, answer
questions from the moderator
and opponent(s), and Impress
the audience with their Ideas
and delivery.
Soul"Ce: O David Vikler/Demothc/Cofbis
 COMMUNI C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
spedaloccaslon presentation
a speech made In appreciation,
In acceptance of an award, In
commemoration of an even~ or by
way of lntroductlon.
TEAM-BASED PRESENTATIONS
Worki ng together in a group of two or more can enhance the scope and complexi ty of
a presen tation , but it can also make the presentation mo re di fficu lt t.o plan and execute.
When there is a lack o f coord ination , speakers might end up contrad icting or rep eating
each other o r not coven ng key topics. The p resen tation can lose i.Ls focus and clarity Such
prohl erns can be avoided with p roper p lanning and team effort.
Come to an agreement about who will cover which topic areas (conducting research,
providing visual materials and handouts) and decide how the group will be governed
(by majority rule, by consensus, or by shared leadership).
Establish ground rules for the group and give priority to presentation development
meetings.
Develop a work plan and set deadlines, working backward from the date of the
presentation.
Know what opinions each person will express to better prepare you to deal with ques-
tions and avoid controversy; agree how questions are to be handled.
Allow time for rehearsals; plan the use of visual aids and how each person can help
others use them; coordinate al I presentation parts and visuals for consistency; and iden-
tify handover cues when one person takes over from another.
Appoint a team leader to introduce speakers and help the group maintain its focus.
Use previews, transitions, and summaries to help the audience understand how parts of
the presentation interrelate. Provide a bridge to the next presenter with an introduction
such as "Vanessa will now discuss time management."
Adhere strictly to the allowed time for each speaker, but be flexible enough to accom-
modate last-minute changes and defer to the expertise of other group members.
SPECIAL-OCCASION PRESENTATIONS
From time to time, business people are in volved in award -ceremony presen tations, accep t
ances, and commemorations. Sp eaking for themselves or thei r companies, they may be
asked to do the followi ng:
in trod uce or than k speakers/award recipien ts
propose toasts
give im promptu or a fter-d in ne r speeches
deliver keynote addresses
An effective special-occas ion presentation is tail ored to the specific needs of an
event. As a special-occasion speaker, you should anticipate what the moment requires
you to say and he conscious of tine impression you create . ln making an introduction, for
example, you should focus atten tion on what is to come, n ot on yourself. If puhlic speak
ing scares you, you can follow a simple scrip t:
I am pleased to introduce (nam e of speaker) from (company/organiz ation), who is
(p osition , relevant achievemen ts, and experience) .
Please join me in welcoming (n ame of speaker).
 12 I ORAL COMMU NI CAT I ON

Show t.hat it is an actual pleasure and a privilege- not a chore- to perform the
introducl.ion. Your remarks should he congenial, graci ous, brief, and most of all genuine,
based on concrete facts rather than generalities.

O Does the opening device spark interest and engage the audience?
O Does the introduction establish credibility or provide background, as needed?
O Are ideas and approaches adapted to the audience's needs?
0 Do presentation methods involve the audience?
0 Does the degree of formality suit the situation?
O Does the conclusion provide a compelling sense of closure?

Content
0 Do facts and information relate to the presentation's purpose?
O Is the supporting material specific and relevant?
O Does the presentation fulfill its purpose and provide information the audience finds
interesting?
O Is care taken to clarify ideas that might be misconstrued or prove harmful to the speaker
or the speaker's organization?

Organization
O Is an overview of the main points provided?
O Do verbal signposts announce t ransitions to major points? Are these transitions
sufficient and logical?

Visuals
O Are visuals well designed, interesting, and appropriate for the size of the audience
and room? Does each one supply the right amount of information w ithout
over- cramming data?
O Is each visual aid legible and error-free? Is it introduced at an appropriate point in
the presentation?
O Do the visuals add to the presentation and enhance its meaning?

Delivery
O Is there direct and comfortable eye contact w ith the aud ience7
0 Are voice, non-verbal cues, and gestures used effectively? Is the right tone and level
of language used in addressing the audience?
0 Are questions fielded effectively?
O Is the presentation paced according to the audience's level of understanding and interest?
O Does the speaker communicate interest in, and enthusiasm for, the topic?
O Does the speaker project confidence and professionalism? Have signs of stage fright
been kept under control?
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
Internal meeting a formal
meeting that Involves only
personnel from wtthln an
organization.
external meeting a formal
meeting that Involves outsiders In
addition to company personnel.
formal meeting a scheduled
meeting that operates according
to a pre-set agenda under guided
leadership for the purposes of
achieving spcclHc goals.
Informal meeting a small,
sometimes unschedu loo meeting
that may operate without
strict rules.
Organizing and Managing Meetings
Every year, a greater percentage of the average workday is spent in meetings. lt is hardly
surprising that the ability t.o work and communicate effectively in groups is a skill in
increasingly high demand. How you perform in meetings-based on what you say, how
you say it, and how you interact with others-provides clues to how competent you are
and how ready you are to assume responsihility, solve problems, and work as part of
a team. Meetings can be good for your profile, but they can also be good for groups as
a whole hy hringing leaders to the rorefwnl, providing networking opportunities, and
strengthening staff and client relations.
A meeting should be time well spent- a productive exercise that yields results and
may even he enjoyable. For these goal~ to he met, a meeting has to be purposeful and
properly managed , and it needs to draw on the strengths and input of its participants.
Meetings can have one purpose or seve ral of the rollowing in combination:
to give, share, or pool inforrnat.ion
to hrainstom1, develop, or evaluate ideas and policies
to find the root causes behind problems, solve prohlems, and solicit feedhack
to make decisions (through consensus or voting) or help others make them (through
consultation)
to delegate work or authori ty
to develop projects or create documents collaboratively
to motivate members and en.courage teamwork
TYPES OF MEETI NGS
Meetings come in all shapes and sizes. They can be cond ucted face to face, through
teleconferencing, or online with a program such as NetMeeting. They can he internal,
involving only company personn el, or external, includi ng outside rs. Meeti ngs can diffe r
substantially in the way t.hey are run. Formal meetings operate by strict rules, under
the b'Llidance of a leader. Items up for discussion are pre-set by an agenda. Any motion
must be introduced fom1ally before it can he dehated and voted on. Formal minutes
then provide a record of each motion, vote, and action taken. Informal meetings are
run more loosely, making them good rorums for problem-solving, brainstorming, and
team building. It may not even h e necessary to hold votes if there is general agreement
or consensus.
PREPARING FOR A MEETING
Poor plmming and mismanagement can tum meetings into colossal time-wasters. It pays
to make sure every meeting matters and has a dear reason for heing convened. Behind-
the-scenes planning can set the tone for what is t.o come and help you t.o make the best
possible use of your time when participants finally sit down to meet. Consider the follow-
ing elements before you call a meeting:
1. Purpose: There should he a good reason for calling a meeting. Define the task and
make it dear to all participants. Do this at least two days in advance by distributing an
agenda or supporting materials (see point 6). Keep in mind what you want to achieve,
 12 I ORAL COM M U NI CAT I ON

hut d on't weakm your effort hy expecting to accomplish too much. Narrow the focus
o f the meeting hy limiting the numher of items on the agenda.
2. Alt.ernatives: Consider if the meeting is truly necessary or if the same work can be
accomplished without one. Don't call a meeting if the same result can be achieved
wi th a memo, group e-mail discussion, or a phone call or if you can accomplish
something on your own. Unnecessary meetings result. in lost productivity.
3. Participants: Every person at a meeting should have a reason for heing there. Li.mil
participation to people who an: most essential- those who will make the dedsion ,
implemen t it, or provide information crucial to d ecision-making. A meeting should
he called off if not enough key people will he available to attend. If a meeting goes
ahead \vithout a few key participants, they should be e-mailed in advance for their
views and con tributions.
Keep in mind that the purpose o f a meeting oft.en detem1ines its size. Problem-
solving is done most e ffectively in groups of five to fi fteen , where opinions and ideas
can he exchanged freely. Large groups of twenty-five or more are too hig for anything
more than the presen tation o f infom1at.ion or mot.iva.t.ional purposes.
4. Location: Deciding where to hold a meeting- in your office, in a hoard room, o r
off-site- depends on several fact.ors:
the kind o f environment you prefer
how well participan ts get along and in teract.
how much space you need for the grou p
h ow much you need to he seen as heing in cont.ml
Meetings are not sim ply convened; they are staged and strategized. Choosing the
right location is a matter of balancing practical concerns with the "politics" of meet-
ing. For instance, holding a meeting in your office can give you great.er perceived
control over the proceedings, especially if you keep distractions (ringing telephones,
in terruptions) to a minimum. Conducting a meeting on neutral grou nd- away from
the office-equalizes relationships. sparks creativity, and makes it easier to tackle
controversial matters. Keep in mind, though, that the en vironment has to be quiet
enough for you to carry on a normal conve rsation. Going to a clients office can show
that you are committed to his or her p rofessional needs.
Whatever location you settle on, the table and seating arrangement should
enhance I.he now of information and ideas, not create communication barriers. A seat-
ing arrangement can set the tone for a meeting and also unexpectedly shift percep
tions of who holds more power.
Small Meetings
Sitting behind a large desk plays up your status, power, and authority. Naturally, it
also makes you less approachable and can intimidate anyone on the other side of
the barrier.
Barrier-fTee seating (i.e., chairs arranged across from each other or in a circle) cre-
ates a peer relationship and promotes discussion.
Medium-Sized Meetings
Seating around a boardroom tahle has a hierarchy all its own, even though it can
promote discussion hy putting participan ts face to face. The person at the head
o f t.he table has the greatest pe rceived power. People at either side have lessening
debtrees of power t.he further away they are from the ends of I.he table.
CO M M U N I C ATI N G FOR RESU LTS

Seating around a circular t.ahle makes everyone more or less equal and p romotes
open discus..<;ion.
Don't leave seating arrangements to chance if relations between meeting partici-
pants are known to be difficult. Put opponents at a distance from one another.
vVhen you plan to use a boardroom, be sure lo reserve it before announcing your
location. Inform participants immediately o r any change of location.
Large Meetings
The fun.her away the speaker is from the audience, the more formal the meeting
seems. Conversely, meeti11gs where a speaker is close to, or part of, the audience
have a more intimate feel.
Speaking rrom behind a podium adds formality to the proceedings.
Chairs set up in conventional rows create a formal setting; if seating is in ;.m arched
or semicircular pattern, it results in a more casual setting.

AGENDA
Jack Pine Resort and Conference Centre
Staff Meeting, February 12, 2014
9:00 a.m. to 10:30 a.m.
Conference Room 4A

I. Call to order; attendance

II. Approval of agenda

Ill. Approval of minutes from previous meeting

Presenter Allotted Time

IV. Committee reports

A. Corporate golf retreat package Jorge Suarez 15 minutes

B. Wireless upgrades Brenda Holz 10 minutes
C. Parking lot expansion Mia Bergman 5 minutes

V. Old Business

A. Facility maintenance Rick Ellers 5 minutes

B. Safety review Lu Gan 5 minutes
C. Overdue accounts Jamal Smith 5 minutes

VI. New Business

A. Marketing strategy Ahmed Riyad 15 minutes

B. New accounts Jamal Smith 5 minutes

VII. Announcements

VIII. Chair's summary; adjournment

FIGURE 12.4

Sample Meeting Agenda

 12 I ORAL COM M U NI CAT I ON

5. Scheduling: Estahlish when the meeting will hegin and end. Ideally, the time is
convenient to key decision-makers or fits in with personal wo rking styles. Although
meetings can he scheduled at any point during the day, some times will naturally
he better than others, leaving participants primed to contrihute and not distracted
by other matters or fatigued by the workday. Unless there is an urgent rnat.ter to he
deal t with, informal meetings should be set for less husy or less stressful times, when
managers or senior staff memhers aren 't facing deadlines. Long meetings of more than
two hours usually include a short hreak (five to ten minutes) to prevent fatibrue and
information overload.
6. Agenda: An agenda is a tool for focusing the group-a written document that sets agenda a document that
the order of husiness for a meeting, briefly describing items to be covered, identifying est1bllshes the purpose and goals
of a meeting and outlines what
who is responsible for them, and allocating a time period for each agenda item. An
the mcetlng will address. thereby
agmda also gives participants the particulars: when the meeting will take place (date, helping to focus the group.
start time, end time), where it will be held, and what preparation they shoi1ld do
befo:rehand. A copy of the minutes of a previous meeting is sometimes also included
when a group meets regularly or when a meeting is a continuation of an earlier one.
Dist1ihut.ing an agenda seve ral days in advance gives participants a chance t.o pre
pare questions and formulate opinions. An agenda distributed in advance of a meet-
ing should be accompanied hy a cover memo that outlines I.he meetings purpose;
its date , time, and location; the names of people invited; and instructions on how to
prepare. Before an agenda is finalized, it is usually a good idea to get input from key
presenters and participants-people who might have useful it.ems t.o add and esti
mat.es of how much time they will need. Because everyone who attends a meeting has
a stake in its success, keeping participants infom1ed. and involved in the process can
help ensure a productive outcome.

CONDUCTING A MEETING
Under the righ t condi.tions, a meeting can spark great ideas and lasting husiness relation
ships. When bright and well-informed people are given the chance to collaborate fully,
there can he a huge payoff in the form of productive decisions and launched inj tiatives.
However, collaboration can happen only in the right en vironment-when a meeting is
well run and boosts the morale of its participants. Leading or facilitating a meeting suc
cessfuUy is therefore one of the most import.ant tests a manager faces and requires meticu-
lous preparation. While there is no bluepri nt for t.he per fect meeting or guarantee that a
few eyes won't sometimes glaze over, following certain steps can help you to achieve better
meetings that let you build consensus and accomplish what you set out to do and more.

Leading a Meeting
Distrihute a detailed agenda in advance. Doing so gives each participant time to make
a list of questions; he prepared to support and resp011d to vari ous points of view.
Assign responsihilities: appoint a minute-taker to document the proceedings in a con-
cise yet thorough way and ask someone else to wri l.e on a nip chart or comput.er to
record infom1at.ion I.hat needs t.o he viewed by everyone.
Establish ground rules (e.g., be on time, tum off your cellphone) and stick to them.
Make sure to start and adjourn on time. If time runs out for a specific it.em, decide on
it or leave it for a lat.er discussion.
 COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS
groupthlnk the practice of
thinking or making decisionsas
a group, whereby conformity Is
rewarded and dissent punished;
the result of groupthlnk Isoften
poor decision making.
Participating In a Meeting
Build momentum and focus the group by keeping to the agenda. ldentHy action items
and avoid get.t.ing sidetracked by peripheral issues or ramblers-summarize what they
have said, politely direct t.hem hack to the agenda, and move on. An idea doesn't need
rehashing six or seven times for it to he considered thoroughly.
Speak up, make eye contact with others around the table, and stay relaxed. Your
behaviour sets the tone ror the entire meeting and can put others at ease and help
them remain focused and involved. Analyze non-verbal t1.1es to detem1ine if meeting
part.kipants have second thoughts or reservations about the decisions being made.
Handle dirRt1.1lt people. Keep hostile participants in check by encouraging a healthy
respect for the facts and establishing zero tolerance for name-calling, sulking, and
personal attacks. Try to remain neutral in disputes, making sure that the loudest
members of the group don't dominate the discussion.
Encourage full participat.ion. Ask group members for their input rather than sim-
ply letting people volunteer their opinions and ideas. Respect the views of others
by listening carefully and helping participants feel valued; all ow room for oppos-
ing viewpoint~ and consider ways of doing things that are dHferent from your owi1.
Acknowledge and respond to what people say.
Discourage anyone who interrupts. Instruct interrupters to let others finish before
they chime in.
Deal wit.h conflict hut realize that, because a group is composed of individuals with
different attitudes and personalities, a degree of conflict is inevitable and even valu-
able. lt can stimulate creative thinking and challenge passive grnupthink.
End with a summary in which you paraphrase all decisions and assignments and look
ahead to future actions. Raise questions, ask for feedback, and clarify any nnisunder-
st.andings. Tell participants when they can expect to receive copies of the minutes and
set a time for t.he next meeth1g.
Follow up m1 action items at the next meeting.
Increase your profile hy making eye contact with influential people and sitting toward
the head of the table if you expect t.o have something important to say. Link your
comment to the remarks of a leader or to something that has just heen said.
Be an active listener and demonstrate that you have heard and processed what has
been said and left unsaid. Th is involves tuning into underlying feelings, perspectives,
and ideas.
Be actively interested. Body language and Facial expressions can signal attentive-
ness: lean forward, face th e speaker, and make eye contact. Nod your head when
the speaker makes a point that seems particularly important. Don't let distractions
get the hett.er of you.
Pay attention to the speaker's gestures, facial expressions, and tone o r voice; iden-
t.ify the feelings you think you hear.
Jot down the occasional note but avoid excessive note-taking and other distracting
gestures, such as looking at your watch repeatedly.
If offering a reaction on something said, repeat in your owi1 words the speaker's
point of view and feed this back to the speaker in your response.
Make a mental list of questions you have, then ask ror information or clarification.
 12 I ORAL COM M U NI CAT I ON

Interact and contribute when you have somethlng to say, and he sure to speak up.
OffeT to hdp solve problems.
Try not to dominate the discussion or get involved in arguments. Don't he defensive,
disruptive, or overly territorial-let others have their say.
Make it easy for others to take you seriously. Speal< clearly and directly, in a well-
organized way, so that others will find it easy to listen to you. Do your homework and
he prepared to support your point of view.

MEETING MINUTES
Fomial meetings adhere to a system known as Robert's Rules of Parliamentary Procedure
(from a hook of the same name). For meetings conducted in this way, a proper pro-
cess for transcribing meeting minutes has to he followed . Formal minutes record the meeting minutes a written
following infomiat.ion: record of what occurred at a
meeting, who auendcd It, and
when and where It was convened.
name of I.he group or committee holding the meeting
date , time, and place of the meeting
topic/title/kind of meeting (a regular meeting or a special meeting called to dL~cuss a
particular problem or subject)
names/number of people present (for groups of ten or fewer, list names of attendees
and absentees)
statement that the chair was present (include time at which the meeting was called
to order)
state111ent that the minutes of the previous meeting were approved
desc-ription of old business
summary of new business and announcements
recmd of reports (read and approved), discussions, r.esolut.i ons (adopted or rejected),
motions (made, carried, or defeated), votes (taken or postponed), and key decisions
list of assignments and dne dates
time the meeting was adjourned
date , time, and location of the next meeting
name and signature of the secretary (the person recording the minutes)

Templates and software programs are avai lable t.o assist you in compiling minutes. For
instance, you can use PowerPoint Meeting Minder during a slideshow to record the
mlnutes of your meetlng and print them afterward.
ln fo1rmal minutes are written for small groups and can he distributed hy e-mail
or as hard copy. They briefly summarize discussions, report decisions, and outline
proposed actions.

GROUPWARE-SUPPORTED MEETINGS
In addition to conventional face-to-face meetings, there are now numerous technologies
and computer tools, known as grnupware, that can facilitate meetings when group mem - groupware software designed to
bers cannot get together in the same place or even at the same t.inie. Weh-hased meet- facilitate group work by a number
of different users.
ings and online virtual con.ferences eliminate the inconvenience associated \vith holding
long-distance meetings and can help groups collaborate, exchange information, and reach
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

decision.~. Many companies use the rollowing technologies to cond uct training p rograms
o r team-huilding seminars or to put colleagues in touch for planning o r product and
policy development.

web-conferencing synchronous
web-supported communication
allowing for the real-time
transmission of sound and Images
to other locations.
v1rtual meeting a meeting
that uses particular software or a
website to allow partlelpants In
variouslocations to share Ideas and
hold discussions In real time.
Web-con ferencing is synch ronous comm un ication. lt enables sound and images
recorded by cameras at different locations to he sent in real t.ime to other locations.
Participants can view images on a large screen, television screen, or computer. Some
web-conferencing technologies also enable participant.~ to interact.
E-mail meetings allow participant.~ lo respond at different times and make the meet
ing process more democratic hy doing away with facilitators and the interruptions
that controlli ng personalities can cause. However, e-mail meetings can suffer from the
same prohlems that e-mail in general does: there is no guarantee that messages will he
read and have enough detail to he userul.
Virtual meetings allow participants to meet over the Intern et without having to
travel and to take part from where they happen to he (e.g., at home or off-site for
business travel). As a result, they save time and travel cost.s. Participants can see and
hear one another and share information in real time.

To get the most out of a meeting facilitated hy some fom1 of groupware, keep in mind the
strategies listed in r.he following hox.

Familiarize yourself with the te-chnology you w ill be using to participate in the meeting
or conference. Download and t est any required software or plug-ins.
Schedule time to participate. Even though you will not have to leave your office or
other location, you should set aside a block of time, j ust as you would for a face-to-face
meeting. If you plan to take pa rt in a long-distance synchronous (real-time) meeting,
double-check the time and see if it is in a different time zone.

Communicating by Telephone
The telephone is an important business tool and a link that is worth learn ing to use prop
erly. It helps, first of all, to make the distinction between types of calls. Personal calls,
o rr.en fuelled by the recreational use o r cellphones, sometimes have no other purpose than
to fill time. Ili1siness-d riven calls, on the other hand, are much more time-sensitive and
direct. Following the rules of telephone etiquette for business can help you send the right
message t.o your associates and leave a good lmpression on those you call.

MAKING CALLS
Like any comm unication channel, the telephone can both help to increase productivity
and reduce it. Make sure every call you make is necessary and offers the best way to get
your message across when compared \vith or.her channels.

Keep a list of frequently called numhers. Be accurate in dialling them o r programming

them into your speed dial.
 12 I ORAL COM M U NI CAT I ON

Iclen.t.ify yourself. When placing a call to someone wlho does not know you, brive your
name and idmt.ify t.he organization you represent.
Gi.ve each call your full attention. Refrain from i.nt.errupting a call to carry on a con-
versation with someone in your office or laying the phone on the desk without put-
ting the call on hold. Handle interrupt.ions politely, asking permission to put someone
on hold.
Plan what you will say. Make mental or written notes of topics you intend to cover,
infor mation you need to obtain, and objections you may encounter. Forgetting a
point may result in having to call hack. Anticipate what you might say if you reach
someone's voice mail.
Be positive, courteous, and accurate. To get ready ror the call, visualize the person to
whom you will be speaking. Your voice should sound animated, not flat or canned.
Leave clear messages. When someone is unavailable to take your call, leave you r
name (including the correct spelling, if necessary), husiness title, company name,
phone numher, and a hrief message (i ncluding the best t.ime t.o reach you). Include an
extension L1umher to spare the caller the inconvenience of consulting your company's
phone directory. Don't msh your message just because you are being recorded.
Mind your telephone manners. Don't eat or chew gum while talking on the phone-
it's rude and will make it difficult for the person at the encl of the line to hear you.
Place calls when others are likely to receive t.hem. It helps to have estahlished a specific
callback time when returning a call in order to avoid telephone tag. Otherwise, return
calls promptly or redirect them el~ewhere a.~ needed.
Learn to end a conversation. As the caller, it is your r.esponsibility to close the conver-
sation and keep yourself from rambling. You can end your call professionally hy using
a closing phrase (I'm glad we resolved this wncem) and stating the action you will take.
Show courtesy and re frain from using slang.

RECEIVING CALLS
Make an effort to answer your phone within two or three rings, before the caller is
tempted to hang up.
When answering a call, identify yourself with your full name and department affilia-
tion (This is Accounts Receivable. Paul Kwon speaking.). You may also hegin your greet-
ing vi th good morning or good afternoon- just be sure ahout what time of day it is.
Avold taking calls during meetings. Each activity deserves your rull attention.
Use proper telephone language. The tone of your voice tells callers a great deal.
Without realizing it, you can signal something you did not lntend and end up sound-
ing ahrupt, indifferent, or defensive. Be aware of the negative effects certain ph rases
can sometlmes have on callers and opt for language that is positive and appropriate.

Hang on a second, okay? May I put you on hold?

Who are you anyway? May I say who is calling please?

What? WHATI (when you cannot hear the I am having difficulty hearing you.
person on the other end of the phone) Can you please repeat that?

Be professional in explaining why you have answered a call intended for a colleague.
Don't give out privileged information that might embarrass a co-worker (e.g., lie'.~
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

gont: to the washroom or His mrn1th is full). Instead simply say, She'.~ away from her desk at
the moment o r She is unavailable to talie your call at the moment and indicate when the
pe rson will he avai.lahle to take the call.
Excuse yourself when you have to step away from the phone for a moment to obtain
information the caller has requested.
Don't leave callers on hold indefin itely. Even a shon 1ime on hold can seem like an eter-
nity. Remember to ask the caller, May I put you on hold? before doing so and thank the
caller for waiting when you pick up again. Don't leave the caller on hold for nnore than
.10 or 4.5 seconds, about the time il takes to record a second caller's name and number. If
it is tak'ing longer to find the i.nfonnation you need, give the caller the option of continu-
ing to hold, transfer the person to another party, or offer to call hack al a specific time.
Apply active listening skills to evaluate the tone of the caller's voice and assess what
is said.
Learn to use the phone system. Lost or misdirected calls can result in Frustration and
lost business. Explain what you are doing, ask for permission when you transfe r a
caU, and give the name, department, and extension number of the person the call is
being transferred to in case the call L~ lost.
Take accurate, confidential phone messages and deliver them prom ptly. A good phone
message includes (1) the name of the person for whom the message was left, (2) the
caller's name, department, a1r1d company, (1) the date and time, (4) the message, and
(5) instructions (please call, URGENT, o r will call bac:h).

USING VOICE MAIL PRODUCTIVELY

Voice mail is hoth a con venience and an an noyance. Help calle rs use this tool effectively to
reduce the incidence of telephone tag:

Identify your voice-mail number dearly on your business cards.

Prepare an appropriate greeting as your outgoing message. Be friend ly, informative,
and professional (Ili, this is June Yang of True Blue Marketing. I'm in the office today but
away from my desh. Please leave your name, number, and a brirf message and l'll return
your call shortly).
Re-record your greeti ng to reflect changi ng circumstances (e.g., you're on holidays or
out of the office ror an extended period). If appropriate, leave a colleab'l.1es name and
number for callers to use in emergencies.
Test you r message.

Dealing with the Media

Dealing with the media can he tricky at the best o r times. When you speak with repor-
ters or journ alists, your image and that of your company is on the li.ne. Many companies
hire public-relations officers specifically for the purpose of maintaining a positive public
image. While it is tempting to assume a reporter will tell the story you would like the pub-
lic to hear, in all likelihood the reporter will wnte whatever story he or she wants. It is up
to you to guide the reporter to your sr.ory and take responsibility for what comes across
in an interview. Under your guidance, a media interview can be an opportunity to build
 12 I ORAL COM M U NI CAT I ON

goodwill and deliver specific messages to specific audiences through the filter of a journal-
ist. Hen: are tt:n rules for getting the best out of an intuview- and not letting a reporte r
get the better of you.

1. Prepare by anticipating the questions you might be asked, especially the tough
ones. Be aware of recent events that might affect w]1at you have to say. Decide how
candi.d you will be- which facts are for public consurnpt.i.on and which facts are not.
2. Know your story, practise telling it, and sti.ck to i t. A good story, crystallized into
no more than three key points or a few hard-hitting sentences, does wonders for a
message-driven interview. Try to relate the reporter's questions to one or more of your
key points.
3. Rem ember that tone defines the impression you make. Stay calm and be positive
and helpful, never overreacting to a reporter's attitude. Avoid negative o r defensive
language, keep ing in mind that reporters find it very quotahle.
4. Assess what information will he valuahle to the ieporter. That sai.d, don't release
facts or figures that should not he made puhlk. Bebrin with a hrief position statement
that sets the tone for the interview. lf you don't know the answe r to a question, say so
and offer to follow up later; if you cannot respond, explain why (The matter is undt:r
consideration or It's in litigation).
5. Don't get too technical. Avoid buzzwords and acronyms. Instead use language that
both. the reporter and the audience \vi ll understand.
6. Speak in sound bites. Limit your answers to hetwern five and twenty words. Because
what you say may he edited, don't flood your answers with too many details. Short
answers are highly quotable and may help you get your message out more effectively.
7. Tell the truth. Rememher that nothing is off the record. ln cross-examining you, a
reporter may he tryi ng to find holes in your argument. Answer or refocus the repor-
te rs question, hut don't let him or her put words Ln your mouth. Correct, as non-
threateningly as possible, any misstatements made hy the reporter.
8. Ile al e1t and on guard. Avoid speculating, making off-hand comments, or saying
anything you don't want attributed to you. You have to he able to stand hebi.nd what
you say.
9. Make transitions to your key points as you respcmd. Keep the interview on track
and move back to what is most important, especially if you are interrupted. The fol-
lowing phrases can help you take the ini tiative:
While _ _ is important, don't forget ___.

Another thing to remember is ...

Let me put that in perspective.

What I'm really here to talk to you about is . ..

10. look your best but be yourself. Most reporters prefe r to speak to a real person
rathe r than a slick spokesperson rehearsing the official company line. Be engaged in
the interview and show your enthusiasm, using examples to enrich your story. Let the
reporter ask questions; don't try to give all your infmmation immediately.
COMMUNICATING FOR RESU LTS

Look at the camera only when instructed to do so. At all other times, look at the inter-
viewer and maintain eye contact to show your interest. Poor eye contact can denote
guilt, boredom, or fear.
Be camera-ready. Dress conservatively yet comfortably, avoiding all black, all white, and
small prints (they can create a strobe effect). Remove glittery, oversized jewellery and
take bulky pens out of your pockets. Gesture naturally and avoid fidgeting. Check your
appearance for stray hairs and so on before you go on air.
Speak clearly and distinctly, pausing strategically to avoid fillers such as ah and um.
Remain seated (even after the interview is over) and lean slightly forward in your chair to
project energy and interest.

O Before writing your presentation, have you assessed its context and audience?
O Does your presentation follow a threepart structure? Have you created an outline to
help you organize your ideas?
0 Are your visual aids the best types for your presentation? Do they enhance the
presentation's content without dominating your message or distracting your audience?
O Have you rehearsed your presentation so that you can deliver it confidently and within
the allotted time?
0 Do you project a professional, knowledgeable image when making a presentation 7
Have you given yourself time to familiarize yourself with the environment and to ensure
that any required audiovisual equipment is working? Do you have backup copies of your
presentation in case there are any technical difficulties?
O Have you answered audience questions completely while maintaining a calm and
controlled manner?
O Is everyone in your team presentation clear of the ground rules, work plan, related
deadlines, and each member's responsibilities?
O Before calling a meeting, are you sure that one is necessary? If so, have you identified its
purpose, required attendees, location, time, and agenda?
O As a meeting leader, do you circulate an agenda in a timely fashion and stick to it while
encouraging full participation and dealing with conflict?
O Are you an active listener in meetings? Do you contribute your ideas without
dominating the discussion or arguing?
O Do you follow accepted telephone etiquette when making and receiving business calls?
Is your voice-mail message clear and professional?
O Have you adequately prepared for a media interview? Have you kept to your message
and remained poised and positive?

[ WORKSHOPS AND DISCUSSION f'ORUMS
1. Introduce Yourself to Your Class. Give your name
and some basic information. If you find this activity
intimidating, you may want to rollow a simple script:
Hello, my name is . I have enroll ed in
(name of course) because , with the
ultimate goal of _____.
Once you and your classmates have introduced your-
selves, introd uce a cla.~smate. Pair with a partner and
conduct a quick interview to learn as much as you
can :about the other person. Complete the activity by
perfom1ing a hrid, professional introduction.
2. Fae Your Public-Speaking Fears. In groups of five o r
six, d iscuss your fears about speaking in public, then
share strategies you have discovered to reduce situa-
tional stress.
3. App!ly Oral Communication Skills in Your Career.
How \vill you use oral communication skil l~ in you r
future employment? Interview a professional in your
fidd and share your fi nd ings \vith your classmates.
Uphold ethical standards in conducting your inter-
view hy asking permission to quote the interviewee.
4. Giv. an Impromptu Talk. Give a brief talk (three to
five minutes) on one of the following topics, selected
at random or selected for you hy your classmates:
a) The best part of my currentlfuture job/ field/
ind us try is ...
b) The best way to find a job is ...
c) The person I most admire in the field or industry
I hope to work in is/The successrul person I most
admire Ls ...
S. Hold a Team Meeting. ln groups of five o r six, hold a
meeting to work out the design of a logo that rep-
resents the values and strengths of you r individual
team. Designate a scribe to keep minutes and a chair
to lead the discussion as you consider these r.opics:
what the team stands ror
how it wL~h es to he seen
how the logo can help others see the team in a
different way
The design can include a com bination of
symhols, colours, and shapes, as long as there is a
12 I O RA L CO MM U NI C A T I ON
clear reason for incorporating each elem ent. Draw up
a prototype. At the next class, each team \vill hrieny
present and discuss the merits o r its logo (visual aids
are recom mended). Arter reviewing each design,
debate how we ll it achieved its purpose. Submit
prepared minutes of the meeting to your instruct.or.
Variations: Propose a slogan or radio advenisement
that represents the values of the team.
6. Hold a Team Meating. Tn pairs or groups of three or
mo re, work together to suggest a new law and the
reasons for needing i.t. Appoi nt a group leader whose
job it wi ll he to ensure that each member contributes
to the discussion, then write the law in unequivocal
language. In troduce the law t.o your class in a sho rt
presentation aided by handouts or visual~.
7. Hold a Team Meeting. ln pairs or brroups of three or
mo re, identify a problem in your com munity or at
your school. By sharing ideas and experience, discuss
how this situation could he improved and devise a
plan fo r impl ementi ng constructive change.
8. Hold a Team Meeting. In groups or five OT more,
experiment with diffe rent types of seating arrange-
ments for meetings. Start by settin g up seats and
rows, with the audience positioned to face a speaker
standing at the front of the room. Use this arrange-
ment for infom1ar.ion shari ng, problem-solvi ng, and
decision-making (a list of possible topics for each
session is in cluded below). Next try a U-shapecl
arrangement, with pa rti cipants facing each other
and the group leader seated at the head of the table.
Repeat the process of in fom1ar.ion sharing, problem-
solving, and decL~ion-making. Afrerward, reorganize
the seating for a round-table disL1.1ssion. What are the
ad vantages and disadvantages of each arrangement?
Share information about effective listening skil l~ or
telephone etiquette .
Solve a problem that affects campus life or your
community
Agree on a new parking policy for your campus or
a revampi ng of the menu selection ror your school
cafete ria.
 COMMUN I CATING FOR RESULTS
WRITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES
1. Analyze Your Audience. Imagin e thaL you must
deliver a briefing to r.he management and staff of a
small company Reread the criteria in "Analyz ing the
Si tuat ion and Audience" on pages 426- 7, then decide
how you can meet the needs of 1his diverse group.
2. Prepare a Briefing. Select a fairly substantial anicle
(750 words or more) from the business or national
news section of a daily newspaper. Prepare a brief
oral presentation based on the anicle. If you require
additional information, do a keyword Internet search.
Following your presentation, submit your outline
(including an introduction, main body, and conclu-
sion) to your instructor.
3. Design a Concise Visual Aid. Write a se ri es o r bullet
points (no more than seven words per line) suitable
for use on a PowerPoint slide or overhead Lranspar-
ency that summarizes the following information.
Remember to add a suitable title.
We have four specific corporate goals in the
year ahead. The first is to introduce new product
lines, including cardio equipment and weight-
lifting equipment. Our second goal is to see our
company become a worldwide leader. However,
If we are to achieve this goal, our company must
expand geographically. Plans are now underway to
establish operations in South America and Europe.
Finally, we would like to continue 20 per cent and
higher sales growth.
4. Compose a PowerPoint Slide. Wnte a short bullet
point (or no more than seven words) suitable for use
on a PowerPoint slide entilled "What Not to Wear on
TV." The point you write should summarize the fol-
lowi ng inrormation:
Unless you want to create odd optical effects,
you should make an effort to avoid plaid, stripes,
herringbone, checkerboard, and white.These
patterns and colours tend to photograph poorly.
S. Prepare a Short PowerPoint Presentation. Select one
of PowerPoint's features or functions and teach the
rest of the class about it. Afterward, submll your
PowerPoinl notes.
6. Prepare a Prezi Presentation. Sign-up for a Prezi
account an<l create a haslt presentation. W hen you
have co mp leted yo ur presentation, share it wi1h
other members of the class and discuss what you like
and <lislike abou1 I he software and the user/viewer
experience.
7. Prepare a Pecha Kucha Presentation. Follow the
guidelines in this chapter and the sample presenta
Lion in the Jones anicle on page 438 to develop a
Pecha Kucha presentation on a topic that is relevant
and meaningful to you.
8. Prepare a Short, Informative Presentation. Design
a five- or ten-minute informative prese ntatio n that
incorporates at least. one visual aid and explains how
lo do one of the rollowing:
deal \viLh connict at your school or workplace
prepare for an interview
derive a bargain or budget for your school expenses
overcome common types of telephone
miscommunication
use time more effectively in meetings
balance the demands of work and school
9. Prepare a Persuasive Presentation. Prepare a rive- or
ten-minute present.at.ion in which you persuade your
audience to buy a cons umer product you enjoy using
or in which you advocate a particular act.ion yo ur
audience can take. Focus on building credihili1y a nd
capturing attention lo help you make your case and
incorporate visual aids that will help you show what
you mean.
10. Polish Your Delivery. Select a one-page article from
a trade journal, business publication, or newspaper
and practise reading it aloud, polishing your delivery
so it is smooth, well pitched, and free of pauses and
fillers. H you like, reco rd your recitation and play
it hack.
11. Overcome Your Public-Speaking Fears. Prepare a set
of cards represeming various stages in the presen-
tation sequence (e.g., practising your speech, being
inLroduced, giving your speech). Look at each card
and visualize the corresponding stage of your pres
entation Lo determine which activity causes the most
stress, then try Lo combat that anxiety and calm

yourself with breathing or muscle-relaxation exer-
cises. Repeat the process until you 110 longer experi-
ence stress when you contemplate any aspect of
giving a speech.
12. Change How You Think of Yourself asa Pub Ii<: Speaker.
On the ldt side of a piece o r paper, write down any
negative thoughts you have ahout how you speak.
On the right side, write down positive thoughts that
counter them. Here is an example:
Negative Positive
The audience w ill Good preparation
be able to tell that will compensate for
I don't have public t he fact t hat I don't
speaking experience. have public-speaking
experience.
Make positive thoughts your public-speaking man -
tra. If you have any negative th ought~ as you pre-
pare, say "stop" to yourself and suhstitute a positive
alternative.
13. Speak Like a Professional. Search YouTube for a one-
or two-minute item from a radio or television news
hroadcast. Note r.he way the announcer has used
inflection and enunciation to relnforce meaning and
add emphasis. Write out what was said, underline
keywords, and then read the script aloud into an
audi.o recorder. Try to emulate the speaker's deliv-
ery while using your natural voice and giving appro-
priate downward emphasis at the end of sentences.
Photocopy the hroadcast transcript and read it aloud
in front of your class.
14. Evaluate the Handling of Questions. Watch a news
related interview or press conference and assess the
performance of an interviewee. How effectively does
this individual handle tough qi1estions?
1S. Make a Group Oral Presentation. Working with three
or four classmates, plan and coordinate a group pres-
entat.ion on one of the topics listed helow (or one of
your choice, with instructor approval). ln advance o f
yoUl presentation, submit a plan to yom instructor
that shows how you intend to allocate and share
responsibilities.
time-management techniques
the advantages and drawbacks of teleconferencing
the advantages and drawbacks of wireless
technology
12 I ORAL COMMU NI CAT I ON
a survey of joh sites that offer the best employment
opportunities in your field
PowerPoints ahllity to improve and u.ndermine the
quality of presentations
foreign ownership of Canadian companies
companies' commitment to sustainability or cor-
porate social responsihility
the role of social media in projectil1g charitable
organizations' credihllity
16. Introduce a Speaker. Imagine that you have bee n
given the responsibility of introducing a celehrity
or husiness/community leader who has accepted an
invitation to speak at your school or organization.
Prepare and deliver your remarks. Make sure to
introduce yourself, the guest speaker, and the title
of the speech . Include any necessary hackground
in rormation.
17. Pradise Your Spa<:ial-Presentation Style. Assume that
you have heen elected to give a short, impromptu
speech at an event honouring a friend. or classmate
who has reached an important milestone or is receiv-
ing an award ror service to the commun.ity Explain
why you admire the recipient and why the milestone
or award is special.
18. Evaluate Oral Presentations. Evaluate oral presen-
tations given hy classmates. Use the criteria in the
check list on page 4.56.
19. Evaluate a MHting. Attend a meeting on your cam-
pus, in your community, or at yom workplace. Using
the follmving checklist, assess how well the meeting
was conducted.
0 ls t.he meeting held in the right place, at the right
time, with the right people?
0 Does the meeting have and fulfill a specific pur-
pose? Does the agenda re nect this?
0 Are ground rules for the meeting properly
enforced?
0 Are participants encouraged to voice their opin-
ions and ideas? ls the leader fair an d does he or
she help the group stay focused?
0 Do participants know how to prepare for the
meeting and how to follow up? Do they know
what comes next?
0 L~ conflict dealt with in a fair and equitable way?
0 lf the answer to any of these questions is no,
write a hrief review analyzing how the meeting
could have been improved.
 COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS
20. Practise Telephone Communication. With a partner,
take turns pladng and receiving telephone calls that
correspond to one or more of the following scenarios:
a) Answering for someone else. Jenny Chow, owner
of Fair Trade Coffees of the World, Lo; calling her
accountant, Joseph Li, ahout a reassessment of
her most recent tax return . The call is answered
by Amanda Sharp, Mr. Li's receptionist. Mr. Li
has gone to the spa for the afternoon and has
left inst.ructions that his clients are not to he told
of his whereabouts. Ms. Chow is an important
clienr. and her call must he handled as tactfully
as possible.
b) Putting a caller on hold. Brenda Rudnick-i., man -
ager and coordinator of Child's Garden Daycare,
must place an emergenLy call to Spectrum Junior,
r"
I.. ONLINE ACTIVITIES
1. Analyze an Apple Keynote Presentation. Watch the
following presentation, prepared \vith Keynote, and
discuss how it adheres to the guidelines discussed in
this chapter.
www. you tube .com/watch ?va SUOTJRLkrss
2. Test Your Meeting IQ. Take the meeting IQ quiz,
offered by EffectiveMeetings.com, to help you suc-
cessfully plan and lead your next meeting.
www.effectivemeetings.com/diversions/
meetingiq.a.sp
3. Improve Meeting Productivity. Also from
EffectiveMeet.ings.com, this quiz lets you find out
how t.o overcome "meeting myopia" and learn to
have more productive meetings.
www.effectivemeetings.com/diversions/mm/
index.asp
4. Calculate the Cost of Your Meetings. In the following
exercise, fill in the computer fields and dick on the
a maker of non-toxic, washah le painLo;, to find
ot1t how to safely remove large quantities of
hardened paint from a child's hair. She has fol-
lowed the instructions on the packaging exactly,
hut. much of the paint still remains. The call is
answered hy customer-relations specialist Mari.e-
Claire Lacasse. Because the colour in question ,
Dragon Purple, has gone on the market only
recently, she must ask Ms. Rudn icki to hold while
she confim1s the removal procedure.
21. Record an Outgoing Voice-Mail Message. Using the
appropriate audio device, record a friendly and pro
fessional voice-mail greeting that would be appropri -
ate in the field or setting in which you plan to work.
Play hack the message and re-record it until you are
satisfied with its tone and completeness.
"calculate" button to determine the cost of the meet-
ings you hold.
www.effectivemeetings.com/diversions/
meetingcost.asp
S. Improve Your Active Listening Skills. Watch the short
video "Listening Focus and Mode" on the idXready
site (to access t.he video, dick on the "Next" huttm1
until you get to slide numher 3). Identify the five
approaches to listet1ing, then find an example from
your own Life t.o match each approach.
www.idxlearning.com/marketinglidxready/Fl27/
6. Practise Your Listening Skills. This site from the
University of Leeds offers a range of resources to
support active listening and interpersonal skills
building, including a quiz for assessing listening
skills and activities for gaining practice in watching
and listening.
http://library.leeds.ac.uk/skills-interpersonal
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
1. Identify key social media tools, Including
biogs, soclaI networks, micro-biogs, and
video- and photo-sharing sites.
2. Communicate using biogs and social
networking platforms and apply best
practices and soclaI media etiquette for
busIness purposes.
3. Identify benefits, risks, and challenges
associated with social media use In business
environments.
4 . Identify privacy Issues related to social media
use and management.
5. Identify tools for social media measurement.
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
social media the Interactive
Internet-and mobile-based tools
and applications that allow usm
to post and exchange lnformanon
In mal time, facilitating connection,
collaboration, and creation of uscr-
generatcd content
rich site summary or really
simple syndication (ASS) a
web based feed that publishes
frequently updated Information
such as news headlines, blog
entries, audio, and video; allows
usNs to receive the latest alc1 ts and
updates from favourite websites or
aggregate da~1 from many sites.
SEBASTIEN CHARBONNEAU , director of corporate affairs at Molson Coors Canada, Is
a firm believer In the Innovative power of social media: our company Is very social
fundamentally- the products that we make and distribute, and the activation that we do
In the market are social In nature, so It Is part of our DNA. We're social at heart, so It's who
we are:'1 In 2008, the company started experimenting with communicating Internally and
externally through biogs, social networks, videos, and tweets. By the next year, it was using
the social enterprise network Yammer Internally to give employees ongoing access to one
another and to promote collaboration. The Introduction of social media has been Import-
ant In letting employees have their say and even developing their social awareness. For
example, the company's Yammer-based "Every Drop, Every Ripple" campaign sharpened
employees' knowledge of water consumption and conservation and provided them with a
survey tool to calculate how mucl'l water they would use In the next year.
Social media have fast become an Important dimension of everyday life, connecting
us In a variety of ways like never before and changing the way we learn, socialize, entertain
ourselves, and do business. Social media have everything to do with engagement- with
the world around us, with each other, and with our own thoughts, opinions, and creativity.
The dramatic growth of social media has taken the Internet back to Its roots as an exchange
platform.2 Not surprisingly, more and more businesses and organizations seize the oppor-
tunity for this exchange by leveraging the power and global reach of social media through
platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, and Llnkedln and through corporate strategies and
policies that align social media use with business goals. Navigating the social media land-
scape successfully brings a multitude of benefits, but It also presents many risks and chal-
lenges that Individuals and organizations must keep In mind.
Web 2.0 and the New Media Landscape
Where do social media come from? The answer to this question pre-dates the creation of
well-known social networking sites such as MySpace (in 2003) and Facehook (ill 2004).
In fact, the roots of social media go hack as far as 1979, when Tom Tniscott and Jim Ellis
from Duke University created the worldwide discussion system Usenet. 1
Far from putting an end to weh technologies, the dot-com collapse in 2001 ushered
in the Web 2.0 era, a second gerneration of In te rn et technology. From this point, the weh
grew to be more than just a platfom1 where content and applications could he published
hy individuals, as it had been with Weh 1.0. It hecame a platform for two-way com-
munication, where content could be modified continuously by all users in collaboration.
Unlike Weh 1.0-with its static websites- Web 2.0- with its hlogs, wikis, and collabora-
tive projecLo:;..-is about connection, engagement, and participation. Tahle 13.1 su mmarizes
the evolution of web technologies.
New runctionalities in t.he Weh 2.0 era, such as rich site summary or really simple
syndication (RSS) feeds for easy content updating and Adobe Acrobat for adding ani
mation and audio/visual streams to weh pages, allowed social media to evolve.' With
these developments, In te rnet-based social techn ologies continue to enable the cost-free
exchange of opinions, ideas, infonnation, and user-generated content (UGC). People from
around the world can connect onllne with others who share similar goals and interests. In
these new communities, participants can interact not only wit.h a site hut also with each
other and fom1 broader social networks. Wit.h the opportunity to act as contributors and
producers of puhli..~hed media rather than simply spectators or consumers of that content,
 1! I SOCIAL MEDIA AND NE TWORK IN G

TABLE 13.1 Overview of Web 1.0, 2.0, and 3.0Technologies

WEB 1.0 WEB 2.0 WEB 3.0

The "read-only' era The 'read-write" web The "semantic" web

No flow of communication from
consumer to producer
No posting of comments
Static websites
Book marking
Hyperlinking
Users publish their own content
Wikis, biogs, widgets
Video streaming
Easy exchange of music and video clips
Information interpreted by machines (Al)
Users find, share, and combine information
more easily
Natural language searches
Micro formats
Mobile devices
Cloud and grid computing
Personalized and contextual search

people exploring the new social media landscape can tt.ake advantage of rapidly evolv-
ing avenues and tools to communicate, collaborate, disseminate new ideas, and create
lntemet content.
Active social media panicipants can assume different roles based on their online
behaviour and participation:

creators (publishing, maintaini ng, uploading)

cri tics (commenti ng, rating)
collectors (savi ng, shari ng)
joiners (connecting, uniting)
spectators (read ing)7
In these roles, social media users are part of what media scholar Henry Jenkins refers to as
participatory culture a culture In
participatory culture." This term L~ not specific to social media, but it helps in describing which a person Is both aconsumer
an imponant aspect of the social media experience. and producer.

What Is Participatory Culture?

Jenkins d efi nes participatory culture as a culture wi.th three elements:
low harriers to creative eiq1ression and civic engagement
support and mentorship among members for each other'.<; creations
feelings of social connecr.ion between members and belief that their contributions
matter

Members can pamcipate through affi liation

(joini ng groups such as Facebook or Twitter),
exp ressio n (producing new creative forms suc h
as videos, zines, and mash -ups), coll aborative
problem-solving (working in formal or info rmal
teams to develop new knowledge or co mpl ete Visit the Center for Media & Social
tasks, such as through Wikipedi.a), and circulations Impact's website for analysis of public
(shaping the flow of med ia through blogging, media: http://goo.gl/4g53WO
micro-blogging, or podcasting). Q
Being pa rt of this new media landscape
requi res more than just the ability to read or use
COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

a computer. Other social skil l~, competencies, and "Literacies" that are hallmarks o r thL~
culture include th e followi ng:

judgmen t- the ability to evaluate the reliability and credibility o f infom1at.i011 sources
networking- the ability to search for, disseminate, and synthesize information
collective intelligence-the ability to pool knowledge and compare information for
common goals
transmedia navigation- the ability to follow the How o r stories across multiple media
plat.fom1s
appropriation- the ab ility to remix and reconcile con flicting pieces of data to form a
coherent picture
negotiation- the ability to discern and respect multiple perspectives as shaped hy the
cultural differences of diverse communj ties 10

What Is Social Media?

There are many definitions of social mr.dia. Most commonly, the term applies to I.he inter-
active lnternet-hased and mobile- based tools and applications that huild on Web 2.0 11 for
these tasks:

posting and sharing information (such as status updates, responses to biogs, and
comments on videos and images)
cond ucting conversations
delivering and exchanging publicly available media content created by md-users,
including documents, prese11t:ations (SlideShare), photos (lnstagram and Pi nt.erest),
and videos (YouTube, Vimeo, and Flickr)

These technologies-most sign if1can tly, a collection o r social media websites that rank as
the most visited sites in the world- facilitate connect.ion, collahoration, and the creation
of UGC, making content readers into content publishers. Social media can therefore al~o
refer to the activity or activities that integrate technology and social interaction mid to the
con ten t and contributions to the online spaces that are created in th is way.
lmmediacy and spontaneity underlie the social media experience. Social media allow
individuals to see events and share in them as they happen. For example, a breaking news
story or headline can quickly spm responses on Twitter far ahead of the response-rate 1.hat
traditional news outlets allow for. The How of information through social media can al~o
he a strong predictor of trends and a means to list.en to and measure public opinion.
Researchers who study social media o ften focus on th e intimal')' and immediacy o f
the medium. These factors inHuence social presence, or t.he kind of contact that can he
achieved and the kind o f inHuence that commun ication partners have m1 each other. 12 For
instance, communication on Twitter happens in real-time and th e exchange of information
is immediate, much like it is in a face-to-face conversation. 1:1 Another concept th at helps
in classifying social media is richness, or the amount of information tliat can be transmit-
ted in a given time. 1 ~ Types of social media differ in terms of how rich they are and in how
nrnch social presence they pem1it.. A tweet can become richer and more informative when
links or photos are added, enhancing social presence hy allowing free- lowing, just-in-
time inte ractions.11
 1! I SOCIAL MEDIA AND NE TWORK IN G

As part of a community and the social interactions that occur there, social media users
consciously or unconsciously make decisions ahoi1t how they present themselves in cyber
space and the impressions that other people will have of them. In creating a profile or
posting content, users create an on line image that is usually consistent with their personal
identity. They disclose information about themselves and! create an impression every time
they like or dislike something, "friend" another user, become a fan or follower, or post
content or ex11ress an opinion in a post. 1
Social media have changed the way ind ividuals stay current (through social news),
get creative (through video- and photo-sharing sites) and get in touch (though an array of
social networking sit.es). Just as profoundly, soc:ial media has changed the way businesses
collaborate, network, learn, market themselves, recruit employees, share ideas, and com-
municate with customers, employees, and stakeholders. Businesses implementing social
media can capitalize on the opportunity t.o achieve different goals:

generating traffic
developing a following
attracting recruits
creating hrnnd awareness
facilitating interaction and engagement
generating revenue
responding to and mitigating crises11

Improved customer care, interaction, and outreach and decreased marketing costs are
some of the benefits associated with the adopt.ion of social media for external commurii
cations. For example, TELUS rated among the worst Canadian companies for customer
service until executives were brought in on conversations that service representatives were
having with customers. 18 Companies are also capitalizing on social media to mitigate nega-
tive publicity and brand crisis, for example, in issuing product recalls.
Internally, the democratizing effect of social media has helped to alter and soft.en trad
itional husines.~ hierarchies and improve communicat.ions. 19 Companies such as Best Buy
and Canada Goose use social media to boost employee engagement. Best Buy's "Leaming
Lounge" promotes social learning by giving employees in put into the training process
and enahling them to share their experiences and ideas. Canada Goose uses Facehook
and Twitter to create a positive organizational Li.1lture that. recognizes employees for their
achievements and keeps staff updated with company news. 2 For transferees caught up in
the logistics and uncertainties of job relocations, social media (particularly Facehook and
Twitt.er b"oups) help in maintaining connections to the job and associates left behind whi le
allowing employees to settle into their new jobs. Charles Freeman, national director of cor-
porate service at Crown Relocations, says that "sometimes the small things get missed out
and they become big things. It's as simple as where to find a cake for your kl.d's hirthday." 21
With social media applications numhering in the hundreds, i.t is best for busines.~es
to be selective about the ones in which they choose to he active. Those decisions are often
hased on finding the best media for the message- the ones with the right degree of flex
ibility as well as t.he ability to reach the hroadest user-hase with the likeliest interest in the
product or service. If an organization opts to use more than one social media chann el, it
must ensure that its message is consistent and integrate these channels with more trad-
itional media to reach different content comm unities.22
 COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS
blog similar to a diary, a web
pago on which a person posts
his or her writings, opinions, and/
or other Information, usually on a
regular basis.
Types of Social Media
This section provides an overview o f four kinds of social media- biogs, social networks,
micro-blogs. and photo and video-sharing sit.es. Our focus is on their relevance and use
in business.
SLOGS
Blogging is the earliest form of social media. 21 A blog is a special 1.-ind o f website, usually
managed by one person, \vith date-st.amped entries in reverse chronological order. A blog
typically represents one topical and timely content area or takes the form of a personal
diary It allows for more social interaction, engagement, and feedback than static Web 1.0
technologies through the posting of visitor comments in response to the blog entries.
From leading-edge blogging applications such as WordPress (2003) to more recent
blogging websites such as Tumbh: (2007), the blog concept has carried over to companies
I.hat use their own applications for keeping employees. customers, and shareholders up to
date on important developments while reinforcing and building the company's image and
brand. Corporate biogs represent a shift in the way companies interact with customers and
have been shown to build trust, Liking, and involvement.24
There are three kinds of corporate biogs: intranet, event, and product-2' Intranet biogs
can be used by a company's employees on a daily basL~ to share opinions and expertL~e
on products and to launch discussions of interest to other employees. 20 Blogging can con-
nect workers with each other, even across continents; reduce communication costs; and
boost morale and employee retrntion. It has the added benefits of attracting a younger
demographic to I.he company workforce and making i.t easier for organizations to identify
and draw on their employees' special skill-sets. 13logging can also be a tool for spotlighting
work accomplishments and gaining career advancement, wi.th functions such as hashtags
helping employees to draw management's attention to their achievements.
lntranet blogging in Canadian organizations is on the rise. Five years ago, TD Ban k
revamped its internal website into a social media platform supporting biogs, chat forums,
and surveys. The site al~o includes the option for employees to leave comments both on
blog pages and at the end of news items. 21
Corporate biogs intended for public consumption can be directed either to consum-
ers or to other businesses. For even t and product- related hlogs, best practices include
these features:
writing about topics that matter to customers
educating customers by offering trend and industry news rather than just news of
product launches
writing from a personal perspective rather than a sellers or brand-message perspective
providing a view that complements but is differen t from press releases and other
hrand -based communkations28
While biogs tend to he mostly text-based, links can he added for image and video content.
Additionally, CEOs often maintain biogs on their company websites, in part to improve
transparency and reinforce positive perceptions o f corporate social responsibility. In
Canada, Direct Talk with Peter Aceto (http://blog.ingdirect.ca/) is among the we 11-known
CEO biogs and has won accolades for its pioneering use of the medium.
 1! I SOCIAL MEDIA AND NE TWORK I NG

SOCIAL NETWORKS
A social network is a website application that facilitates communication and social inter- social network a website (such
action thrnugh one-to-one or one-to-many conversations between people. Social network- as Facobook) that facilitates
communication and lnter.1ctlon
ing sites such as Facehook (2004) and Google+ (2011) enable users to connect by sending between two or more people by
messages and by creating personal profiles featuring biogs, photos, and aud io and video allowtng them to create profiles,
files that I.hey then invite friends to access. send messages, write status
updates or posts, and share photos
Companies have been quick to capitalize and harness the power of social networking,
and Videos.
which they use for a variety of purposes:

to create brand communities

to keep stakeholders and shareholders up to date on products
to promote products and services, especially to targeted demographic groups
to publicize events, product launches, and contests
to carry out marketing research

A social media campaign is an increasingly exploitable marketing tool because it provides

access to millions of current and poten tial ci1stomers \vithout the cost of advertising.
Non-profits and charities likewise use this medium to publicize their missions and to seek
donations and volunteers as parl of integrated fundraising campaigns.
Social networks have changed the way businesses interact online, transforming cus-
tomers and the general public into "fans." Facebook, a giant among social networking
sites, offers businesses the benefits of "word-of-mouth" marketing through four bask
steps based on the same principles of its personal profiles and on line socializing: building
a page, connecting with people, engaging the audience, and influencing friends or rans.
Businesses that i1se Facebook effectively adopt a series of best practices. Consider the fol-
10\ving when designing a Facebook page or group:

1. Choose privacy settings with care. Default settings may not deliver the degree of pri -
vacy you are seeking.
2. Update your page rrequently.
3. Stay on topic; let the focus be your business and what makes it interesting to your
customers.
4. Keep your message brief, simple, and relevant to fans and the target audience.
5. Use links and images, but keep the design clean and limited to essentials, letting the
brand st.and out.
6. Ensure the correctness and appropriateness of content and the way it is expressed
(and. do the same for customer content).
7. Keep the tone spontaneous and infom1al.
8. Signpost your company's expertise.
9. Make it interactive and engaging--encourage feedback and relationship-building
through polls, UGC, promotions, surveys, and or.her forms of interaction.
10. Make some content exclusive to Facebook.

linkedln is another networking site that can help business professionals strategic-
ally increase their presence online and make it easier for industry partners, colleagues,
employees, and potential clients to find them. Currently the worl d's largest professional
 COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

netwo rk,20 Lin kedln had over three million Canadian users in 201 1.3 Consider the fol-
lowing hest practices to optimize yom profile:

1. Customize your profile URL. Make your URL a single wo rd (e.g., LucindaChen) to
move it into a higher position among search results. Make your profile widely avail -
ahle hy choosing the "puhlic" option.
2. Complete the summary and experience sections of your profile. Use keywords
and phrases that correlate to your abilities and expe ri ences and to the opportunities
you are seeking. Make sure your pro file is complete by including your industry and
location, your current position and j oh descri ption, your past two posi tions, your
education, a photo, a list of at least three skills, and as many connections as possihle.
An incomplete profile can result in a lower ranking.
3. Stay active. Update your status regularly hy posting news of activit ies, new products,
publications, questions, or lin ks of professional interest. Visit Lin kedln reb'1.1Larly for
insights and updates that keep you on top of trends. Double your chances of success
hy syncing your Linkedln and Twitter accounts.31

TABLE 13.2 Quick-Reference Descriptions of Selected Social Networking Sites

SITE DESCRIPTION

Blogster Slogging community featuring specific-interest biogs

Delicious Social bookmarking service for storing, sharing, and discovering web bookmarks

Digg Social news website and news aggregator that features a"front page"

Face book Social networking service for connecting and engaging with others via a profile page
Flickr Online photo management and sharing application
Fotki "Organic, fat-free" photo- and video-sharing site
Foursquare Location-based mobile social network that helps users share and save places they visit

Google+ Social networking service owned by Google

lnstagram Video-and photo-posting site that enables users to apply digital filters and share content on other social networking
sites such as Twitter and Facebook
Linkedln Business and professional networking service

Myspace General social networking site that has a focus on music

Pinterest Online content-sharing service for organizing and sharing photos and videos, with standard social networking features
Qapacity Business-oriented social networking site and business directory
Reddit Social news service featuring user-generated news links

Talkbiznow Web-based business community providing business services for small businesses and professionals

Twitter Microblogging service that enables users to send and read 140-character-maximum tweets
Vimeo Site for storing and distributing video content

Yammer Social networking service for collaboration and idea-sharing in the workplace
Yelp Site for reviewing and discussing local businesses
 1! I SOCIAL MEDIA AND NE TWORK IN G

4. Con.nect and network. Aim fo r a minimum or flfty connection.s that include clients,
mentors, and husi ness partners. Search for and join groups related to your industry,
expertise, specialization, or location. Search out groups and individuals who share
your approach or mindset to lend support and share details ahout potential clients. 32
5. Solicit recommendations. Ask satisfied C.'1.tstomers and business professionals who
have positive things to say ahout you to recommend you and your company.
6. Stay informed. Use Unkedln t.o stay up-to-date on trendi ng t.opics and ind ustry
news relevant to your husiness.

Just as Linkedln can he a resource for joh-seekers (see Chapter 9), it can also help
recruiters. Nancy Moulday, manager o r recruitment at TD Canada Trust Banking, had
trouble finding the right candidates for certain positions when she used the banks corpor
ate website and online joh boards. However, when she started using Linkedln to advertise
job open in gs, she quickly found that she was able to search for specific qualiications and
make mo re targeted and successful hires.33 By using lnMail, the site's message se rvice,
Moulday was able to open a conversation with potential candidates who weren't actively
looking on the job hoard site by establishi ng some common ground with them and eval u-
ating their level or interest.
Besides making headhunting easier, Linkedln is being used by companies to post
open positions. The sites array of tools, incl uding a hutt.on that allows candidates to apply
using their Linkedln profiles, makes it more possible for companies r.o connect worldwide
wi th the right cand idates.3i
Human Resources divisions at Canadian companies and organizations such as Kobo
and the University of British Columbia have reported seeing positive results from social
media in.itiatives. Better brand visibility and labour saving are some or the benefits I.hat
networks can bring. Len Posynfak, vice-president of human resources at ICBC, sums it up
t.hLs way: "Immediacy and authenticity are things we can achieve by using social media."11

MICRO-BLOGS
Micro-blog.s, such as Twitter, allow users to send out short text-like bursts of infom1ation to micro-blog a blog whose
entries am shorter than those or a
a community or rollowers in real time. Tvntter combines tliis format with a news-reed func- traditional blog; Twitter posts arc
tion. In its maximum of 140 characters, a tweet has a twofold function: it is both a message examplesof micro biogs.
and a me.ans of initiating a conversation with follow-
ers, who are expected to Lweet in response.
The short, snappy, instanl.aneo us nature of
Twitter communication makes it highly suited for
sharing the latest, time-sensitive information. Th is
two-way flow of communication helps in reputa
Watch "Chris Brogan on Social Media
tion- and trust-bui lding. Business proressionals
Starter Tips to Grow Your Business"to
and their organizations can use T>vitter in a nurn learn some policies for using new media:
her 0 r ways: http://goo.gi/gVILd6. You can also follow Brogan, a media
to monitor the competition and their latest marketing expert, on Twitter (@ChrisBrogan).
projects and ini tiatives
to monitor customer satisfaction and public
perception or their organizations
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

Canadian astronaut Chris

Hadfleld became a Twitter
sensation during his five
month stay on board the
International Spa.ce Station
from late 2012 to early 2013.
Hadfleld tweeted photos from
space and details about life as
an astronaut, gaining over a
million followers and creating
new Interest In science and
space exploration.
Sourcoi Photo by NASA I Rex Featu~.s

to share and And professionally related knowledge and resources

to support employee and management communications
to monitor existing customers and prospect and engage new ones
to perform industry trend watches
to prospect and recruit new h ires

To realize the full potential of the Twiuersphere, consider the following guidelines:

1. Create a professional-looking profile and username and strive for a genuine, likeahle
tone.
2. Ask questions and respond in real time.
3. Be selective and professionally minded in what you tweet; focus on industry news and
research, conferences, and professional development opportunities and otllcomes or a
professionally related article or question.
4. Keep it conversational and free of "marketing-speak," and make it shareahle:- inspir-
ing, intriguing, newsworthy, or appropriately witty.3
5 . Retweet what you And interesti ng, reply publicly. and encourage retweets to acknow-
ledge and show appreciation to followers.
6. Make your content exceptional and retweetahle hy incorporating li nks, photos,
quotes, or videos that provide a fuller context for a husiness story or information
hurst. (Li nks of any length will automatically he sho rtened to fi.t the 140-character
limit.) Th ink of your tweet as an invitation to the reader to learn more.3 7
7. Inse rt a hash tag(#) symbol in Front of a phrase related to a specific topic to make it
easily searchable and to let others join the conversation.
8. Be strategic in the pace and timi ng of your tweets-do not send out so many at once
that it overloads your followers' feeds.
 1! I SOCIAL MEDIA AND NE TWORK I NG

PHOTO- AND VIDEO-SHARING SITES

Content communities such as YouTube, Vimeo, ?interest, I nstagram, and Flickr allow for the
sha1i ng of iich media content- multi med ia, photoi,>raphy, and video-hetween users within
broad, diverse audiences. Users are not required to create pro6le pages. Photo- and video- photo and video-sharing site
s haring s ites carry the risk that copyrighted material \viill he shared, hut most major si tes a wobslto (such as lnstagram) that
allows users to post and share
take steps to ban illegal content. Another well-known content community is SlideShare
photos, videos. and multimedia
(for electronic slide presentations).
Organizations use these sites in a number of ways:
to sha re press announcements and keynote speeches with employees and investors
to upload company photos, public service announcements, and commercials
to post recruiting videos
to capture client, customer, and public feedback on company enterprises, products,
and services (comments must be monitored)
Encouraging users to post videos on these highly popular sites, often for contests, is
another way organizations carry their hrand name forward.

The Social Media Advantage

How popular is social media? lnjuly 2011, market research company lpsos Reid reported
that 86 per cent of Canadians aged 18 to 34 who used the lntem et had a social network
profile, as compared \vith 62 per cen t of those aged JS to 54 and 44 per cen t of those
aged 55 and over. ' 8 By 2012, Canada was a world leader in on line engagement: Canadians
were reported t.o spend an average of 45 hours per month online. Data for Americans
show similar results:
67 per cent use Facehook (Decem ber 2012)
20 per cent use Lin kedln (Aui,rust 2012)
18 per cent use Twitter (May 2013)
1.5 per cent use Pinterest (December 2012)
lJ per cent use lnstagram (December 2012)
6 per cen t use Tumhlr (December 2012)3
Th ese figures show that social media use has become a powerful upward trend, one that \vill
likely continue." For d igit.al marketers and advertisers, such sites are a "fertile ground."1
As previously discussed, businesses use social media for several purposes and poten-
tial benefi ts:
in ternal and external comm unications
customer identification and profiling (i.e., developin g sales and marketing leads)
customer care, relationship building, and fan loyalty development
ln teraction, collaboration, and engagement
hrand aware11ess and product. promotion
recru itment
crowdsourclng
increased exposure and traffic to websites
event organization and promotion
feedback monitoring
impact measurement
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

Companies that have embraced the power or social media have realized sigllifi-
cant henefi t...2
Two-thirds of executives surveyed helieve that social media are critical or important
to cm11orate effons.3 In 2012, one in five Canadian consumers used social media to get
a customer service response. Of those who used Facehook or Twitt.er for this purpose,
28 per cent were likely not to make a purchase ir they thought their customer service experi-
ence was poor.+< Therefore, making the experience a positive one has dear advantages.
Companies such as McDonald's have experienced ups and downs in using social
media for marketillg and customer relations. While McDonald's US marketers prompted
company backlash and had press in inviting ci1stome rs to tell their #McDstories,
McDonald's Canada took the lead in tweaking this approach and offe ring to answer any
question, no matter how insulting, abont its rood. The approach worked so well that it
was later expanded into television ads and netted the agency that desibrned the campaign
an award at the Cannes lions International Festival o r Creativity.,
The Shorty Awards, which honour the best brands, agencies, and professionals on
social media, sum u p the social media advantage in this way: "Social media gives compan-
ies the human touch, bringing customers closer to their favorite brands while allowing
marketers t.o engage directly with followers in fun and creative ways.""' Social media have
opened up world wide markets to even t.he smallest business and made what nsed to he
word or mouth into a global stream that can he heard and seen, instantaneously a nd spon-
taneously, hy the millions.1

The Risks and Challenges of Social Media

There is a good deal of euphoria and enthusiasm surrounding the use or social media, but
that does not necessarily negate the problems associated with these platforms and applica-
tions. The growth of social media has created new risks at a time when organizations are
expected to cond uct transparent communications and to comply with regulat.ions.+11 There
are several key areas or social media that employers struggle with:
1. tin1e theft
2. malicious, negative, or damaging employee com ments made about employers
3. leaks o r proprietary and/or confidential information+9
4. damage to brand reputation
5. outdated information
6. use o r personal social media by corporate executives
7. corporate identity theft
8. fraud
9. legal, regulatory, and compliance violations'0
Social networking L~ a powerful and popular tool, hut it can also he a great time-waster,
with social media addictions sometimes cut.ting into work hours. The need to communi-
cate and to stay connected can be overpowering; meanwhile, the rear or missing O'ltt hy not
being online can he detrimental to workflow and prodi1ct.ivity Employees used to shar-
ing details of their personal lives through Facebook or T\vitter posts may not u11derstand
 1! I SOCI AL MED I A AND NE T W OR KIN G

the potential employment conse- A major sec1Jrlty breach In

quences of using social med ia to late 2013 resulted In the
usernames and passwords of
express b eliefs and views ahout
almost two mllllon accounts
their work lives, especially when on social media and emall
those views have 1.he potential to sites being hacked.The
expose their businesses to harm breach affected people In
or risk. There may well he truth over one hundred countries
to the saying "The Facebook walls
and forced companies such
as Facebook, Twitter, and
have ears." Even a casual remark
Llnkedln to notify customers
or snippet from an on line conver- and reset passwords.
sation can he used against a husi- Source! ManuelSousa/iStock/ Thlnkstock

ness hy its competitors. Corporate

takeove rs have heen fuelled and
collective hargai ning negotiations have heen jeopardized hy leaks o r this kind.
Leaming how to use social media ethically and effectively is something companies
continue to grapple with , and the learning curve can be steep. ln 2012, ror example,
Netflix came close to heing charged hy the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission
(SEC) over infom1ation that CEO Reed Hastings had posted to Facehook and that ulti m-
ately boosted the companys stock price. The SEC reneged after an investigation , deciding
that Facehook was an appropriate way to commimkate corporate infom1ation.11 Canad ian
businesses are becoming increasi ngly aware of how com pliance with securities regula-
tions rela tes to their use of social media. The law firm Fasken Martineau LLP has issued its
own set of hest practices in social media use for puhlic compan ies (see www.fasken.com/
social-med ia-best-practices-for-public-companies-in-canada-part-one/).
More tha n one-th ird of all companies surveyed ahout thelr social media use in 201:1
now have social media traini ng, though more than half still do not perform a social media
risk assessment. 12 Damage t.o corporate reputation, threats to employee and customer rela-
t.ions, and fallout from failed o r shaky regulatory compliance are li kely outcomes when
social media is used improperly or ineffectively lt is therefore import.ant fo r companies to
understand their legal ohligations and he ethical and transparent in their communications
when usi ng social media channels. ln this new commun.ications landscape, organizations
and their employees must know how to use- and how and when not to use- social
media. Faced with the dilemma of social med ia ahuse, em ploye rs such as the Government
of Ontario have taken the radical step of banning the use of Face hook in its offices.
Contrary to popular belid , Facebook and Twi tte r are not ptivate. Emp loye rs may
check viewable Facehook profiles or even ask for access to a joh applicant's Face hook page
hefore hiring. For this reason, joh- and promotion-seeke rs and others who value their
professio nal reputations should avoid posting potentially embarrassing words and images
and be mindful of the online identities and pro files they create. Posts and comments made
long ago can have surp rising staying power and remain searchahle, c reating a need for
professio nal "web scruhhers." For example, a female employee of IBM Canada who had
been on Ilong-tenn sick leave reponedly lost her benefi ts aft.er her insurer found Facebook
photos of her at a local bar and on a sun vacation-evidence, the insurer alleged , that ind i-
cated she was no longer ill. 11: Two Toronto firefighters made sexist tweets and a th ird was
tem1inated over "inappropriate use of social media." One had tweeted, "Reject a woman
and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also weak arms."1 ~
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS
social media analytics thQ
gathering and analyzing of social
media data, which Is used to
determine usage trends and
measure customer Interest.
Among young adults aged 18 to 34, 29 per cent regret posting a photo, comment, or
other personal infom1ation of questionable or potentially compromising content over fears
of bei ng fired or not hired if the inappropriate post is seen by an employe r or prospective
employer. Ahout 74 per cent of young adults and 36 per cent or older adults have deleted
social media content to keep it from the eyes of their employers and avoid their likely dis
approval." ln Canada, labour law protects joh-seekers from employers asking for personal
infom1at.ion, includi ng social media passwords. Applicants approached for this kind of
infonnation have the right to refuse. However, it is equally within an employer's rights to
search for employee information that has not heen properly protected. 1
Social med ia also have the unexpected disadvantage of making it harder for organiza
tions to control their message and conversations about thei r product or activities. Social
media platforms not only function as chan nels for positive, business-enhancing communi-
cation hut also carry risks for impression management and reputation , especially when
disgruntled customers or employees, through comments, have easy means to voice com-
plaints in a way that can influence public opinion against an organization or its products
and services. During a layoff at H MV in the UK in 2013, the social media manager (one of
50 employees let go) live tweeted her outrage and betrayal from the fi ring session at the
expense of the company's reputation and without clear regard for infom1ation that must
remain private hefore and after employment.'1
A failed social media campaii:,rn or one that has caused a backlash is also hard to eradi-
cate, even when controversial, misleading, or offensive product ads have heen removed.
The Gap was widely criticized for seeking to capitalize on Hurricane Sandy in 2012. In the
wake of the storm, which devastated parts of the US northeast, the company tweeted: "To
all those impacted by #Sandy, stay safe. We'll he doing lots of Gap.com shopping today.
How ahout you?" Representing a nat.ural disa.~ter as an opportunity ror online shopping
was a sentiment many followers and commentators found distasteful. The year hefore,
Kenneth Cole sent out a tweet maki ng light of the political tum1oil in Egypt and using it to
promote h L~ brands e-commerce: "Millions are in uproar over #Cairo. Rumor is they heard
our new spring collec1.ion is now availa ble on line at http://bit.ly/KCairo-KC."'8 ln 2007,
the Molson Canadian National Campus Challenge Facehook photo promotion attracted
negative attention and was ulti mately pulled afr.er criticism I.hat the campaign promoted
hi nge d rinking. The ad had said "Be I.he #1 party school in Canada" and offered a prize for
a tiip for five to Cancun to the school with the most pictures uploaded. 'Q Afte rwards, at a
meeting at a national conference of students and deans, Molson debuted a policy stipulat
ing that it does not promote its products in campus dormitories.
Measuring Social Media Performance
Social media are an impo rtant tool fo r husinesses wanting to gauge the ir effectiveness and
improve their performance. The tasks of tracking, capturing, and analyzing important
data such as sen timen t and content are aimed at dete rmining if that content achieved the
desired result. Business marketers who hope to henefit from using t.he powerful tool-
referred to as social media analytics--to I.rack trends and measure sentiment must first
decide exactly what to monitor and align those metrics with business goals. Corporate
marketers may choose to track the following:
 1! I SOCI AL MED I A AND NE T W OR KIN G

increases ill the llUmher of roll owers/friends (collSL1nlption or reach metrics)

the sharing of content among use rs o r the numher o f one-on-one engagements (shar
ing and engagement metrics)
the conversion from social media consumers to paying customers (conversion
metrics).W

A company can also track what people are saying about competitors and their hrands.
A few of the best-known social media measurement tools include these four:

Goo.gle Analytics-a tool for analyzing visitor

traffic and understand illg the needs of audi-
ence and custome rs
Klout- a service that measures influence
.

scores and identifies in fluences in a particular
indus try Read Danny Bradbury's "Effective Social
Hoot Suite- a free analytics suite that tracks Media Analytics"to see how companies .
infonnatioll ahout what is val uahle to the use r can use this tool to measure the

through an analysis of lin ks and Klout scores effectiveness of their social media
strategies: http://goo.gl/UqnMB7
PostRank- the largest aggregator of social
engagement data on the Internet, a system that
tracks what users pay attention t.o and where
and how they engage ill order to show the rel-
evance of a site, story, or author.0 1

Though the practice of soc:ial media measurem ent may raise privacy concerns, the chance
for companies to know how they are doing in reaching o ut to customer comm un ities and
thus improve their si.te cont.m t and hrands is an opportuni ty few markets can easily pass
up. Michael Wong, d irector of enterprise business intell igence at RBC, envisions a practical
use of analytics: "If theres a conversation that we believe we can perhaps engage in and
provide benefit or prospects, we'll step ill to provide ad vi.ce."62

O Be selective about the social media channels you choose to use for both personal and
professional purposes.
0 Keep your social networking profiles and posts current, professional, relevant, and
engaging .
0 Be aware that social media can interfere with productivity and that what you post may
be deemed inappropriate and/or unprofessional by employers and customers.
0 Practise ethical and effective social media use and learn your organization's policies
regarding this topic.
O Use social media analytics to track the success of your campaigns and to inform your
social media plans.
 COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS
i[ WORKSHOPS AND DISCUSSION FORUMS
1. Creating a Course Blog. Ask you r instructor to set
up a course-specific hlog, with the required privacy
settings, to which you and your classmates can con-
trihute your advice on effective social media use.
(Alternatively, your instructo r might choose to set up
a Twiner page.) Each memher of the cla~s is required
to make a minimum o f two postings or tweets.
2. Analyzing a Facebook or Twitter Campaign. ln small
groups, :find an example of a Facehook or Twitter
campaig:n for a consu me r product or non- profit
fundraising organization. Analyze the elements of
this campaign and prepare a hrief, Ave-minute group
presentation in which you review its major features
and approach and identify a possihle target audience.
How is the main message, as delivered through social
media, different from the message as communicated
through the organization's wehsit.e or other media?
3. Adapting to Twitter Style. ln small groups, post
tweets of the following on your class's Twitter page, as
set up by your instructor;
a) a rule for using Twitter or social media effectively
b) a p ri111ciple, concept, or learning outcome from
today's class
c) a synopsis or description of your communica-
tions course
d) a promotional message for your college or
university
e) a summary of last week's class
f) a sunnmary of a news story provided to you by
your instructor or searched by you and your team
members
4. Exploring the Twittersphere. Log on to your Twitter
account, perfom1 a search , and find th ree hasht.ags
(#) and/or users (@) con nected to your program,
discipline, or fi.it.ure career. Who/what would you
consider following? Decide who can help you learn
more and con nect hette r. Here are a few steps and
considerations that may help you choose;
a) Browse interests and review Twitter suggestions
ahout who to follow.
b) Discover your fri ends on Twitte r; if their profes-
sional interests are simila r to your own, check
who they are following.
c) Check the profile to ensure the bio corresponds
to your interests.
d) See how many tweets and followers your pros-
pecL~ have, review some o r their tweets, and
check who they are following.
Present your picks to the class, explaining why you
chose them.
S. Defining Your Social Media Style. For t.his activity,
wo rk in small groups o f three or four. Identify which
o f the Ave types of social media hehaviour descrihed
on page 463 best descrihes your dally social media
activities. Consider the follmvi ng questions:
a) What is your favourite social media site?
b) What is your frequency o f use? How many times a
day do you check or post to your social network-
ing sit.es? Does this frequency change acco rding
to the particular site?
c) How much time per day do you spend on social
media?
d) What are your primary concerns in terms of self-
presentation and self-d isclosure? Do you edit the
photos that you post? Have you ever removed
a post to avoid a negative reaction from an
employer or to improve joh prospects?
 1 S I SOCIAL MEDIA AND N ETWORK I NG

. WRITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES

1. Creating a Corporate Blog Post. Create a hlog post
for a corporate website ahoul a recent work-related
achievement or professional-development milestone
related to your skills or edi1cation.
2. Writing for Biogs. Find a news story or press release
and compose a hlog post ror a corporate website.
3. Creating a Personal Profile. Create a mock-up of
your Facebook or Linkedln profile, then revise
and upgrade it to make it more professional and
business-ready.

ONLINE ACTIVITIES

1. Writing a Social Media Message. Read a selection of 3. Reviewing Shorty Award Winners. Go to the Shorty
consumer reviews (hoth positive and negative) on Awards website and view a selection o r award win-
TripAdvisor or Yelp, paying attention to elements of ners. What traits or qualities define effective social
social media style. Write a review of a recent trip to a media use? Which ones do you judge to be most
restaurant or hotel and post it to the site or submit it effective? How could a company with a less visible
to your instruct.or. social med ia presence adapt one of the campaigns?
www.tripadvisor.ca/ h ttp://u1dustry.shortyawards.co1n/wu1ners/
www.yelp.ca/ 5th_annual
2. Tweeting a Media Release. Read I.he T\vitter Chea.l
Sheet, "Write Good Tweets: Learn How to Make 140
Characters Sing." Then read the following CNW press
release and compose a tweet that captures the read -
ers Lmabrination and attention.
https://business.twitter.com/write-good-tweets
www.newswire.ca/en/story/1279583/netflix
-dee lares-binge-watching-is-the-new-nonnal
Usage
COMMONLY CONFUSED WORDS
There are several categories of commonly conJused words: homonyms (words that sou nd
alike but have different meanjngs), non -standard words (that fall outside accepted usage),
and words whose use depends on whether the nouns th ey are paired with are cou nt n ou ns
(naming persons, places, or things that can be counted , e.g., wmputer, acwuntant) or non-
count (naming abstractions or entities that can't he coun ted, e.g., advice, luggage). The
numbe r sign (#) in entries in dicates that the rules of count and non-count usage apply.

a/an Both a and an are singular indeli.n ite articles. Use a be fore a consonant sound
(a report) and an before a vowel sound (an auditor). Special cas es: Use an before an
acronym begin ning with a vowel sound but not necessarily wit.h a vowel (cm RSP, an
MP) or before a word beginning with a silent h (an hour, an honest mistake). If the h
is pron ounced, the word therefore begins with a consonant sound and requires a
(n ot an): a hospital, a hostile talm iver.
accep t/except/expect Accept is a verb mean ing "agree to" or "receive." Exct:pt is both
a preposition an d a verb. In its more common t1se as a preposition, it means "leav-
ing o ut" or "exclu di ng." As a verb , it means "to exclude." TIP: Let the x in except be
a remi nder o r the x in exclude. Avoid the common e rror or typi ng expect ("regard as
likely,'' "suppose") instead o f except.

Iaccept all terms of the contract except the last one.

accompanied by/accompanied with ln these passive forms, accompanied by applies to

both people and objects whereas acwmpanied with applies to objects.
The president was accompanied by the general manager.
The cheque was accompanied with [or by] a letter of apology.

advice/advise Advice is a nou n meaning "words recommending a future action." Advise

is a verb meaning "to give advice." T IP: Many verbs end in -ise (advise, apprise, devise),
h ut o n ly the nouns d erived from them en d in -ice (advice, device).

She advised him to follow her advice.

affect/effect Affect is a verb meaning "infl uence" and , less commonly, a n oun with a
speeialized meaning used in the field of psychology. Effect is a n ou n mean ing "resu lt"
an d, less commonly, a fo rmal an d somewhat p retentious verb meani ng "to bring
about" or "create." TIP: Affect is used ch iefly as a vnh, rffect. as a noun. Thin k of the
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

a in aff1:c:t as standing for its verbal act.ion and the e in 1ifect as a conven ient reminder
of the e in result.
Restructuring did not affect mora le; in the long term it will have a positive effect on
productivity.

The manager effected important changes in workplace safety.

aggravate/irritate ln colloquial usage only, aggravat1: and irritate are interchangeable.

According to standard usage, aggravate means "make worse" and irritate means "ann oy."
The w ildcat strike aggravated the already tenuous labour negotiations.

Pointless messages on his voice mail irritated him.

agree to/agree with Agree to means "i,>ive consent to." Agn:e with means "hold the same
opinion" o r "he in harmony with."
The managers agreed to the changes.

The managers agree w ith him about the timeliness of the plan.

ain't Ain't L~ non-standard for gram matically co rrect equivalents such as elm not, is not,
and are not. It is unacceptable in all forms of communication for the workplace.
a lot/allot/lots A lot (never alot) is an informal way of expressing the idea of "many" or
"a great deal"- tem1s that are in fact preferable in most business documents. Allot is
a verb meaning "to distribute" or "dole out in portions." Lots is unacceptable, 11011
standard usage.
altemat.ive/altemat.e Alternative is an adjective that means "available as another choice"
or "unconventional" (as in alternative medicine). lt is also a noun meaning "one of sev-
eral possibilities" or t.he freedom to choose between them.
They optioned several alternative energy sources.

She had doubts about the plan but disliked the alternatives even more.

He had no alternative but to terminate the contract.

Alternctte is al~o
an adjective, meaning "every other," and a stand-alone noun denot-
ing a person or thing that substitutes for another. The verb alternate means "change
between two things" or describes "two things succeeding each other by turns."
Seminars were scheduled for alternate Tuesdays.

Two alternates were named to the team.

John alternated with Joanne as task-force chair.

a.m./A.M./p.m./P.M. The abbreviation a.m. stands for ante meridiem ("before noon");
p.m. stands for post meridit:m ("a rter noon"). Neither should be used red undantly (as
in 8:00 a.m. in the morning o r 3:00 p.m. in the ctfternoon) nor with the adverb o'clock.
Whether the a.m. and p.m. abbreviations are typed in capital (or small capital) o r low-
ercase letters, the style you choose should he maintained consistently To ind icate the
time of day, use figures, not words (11:00 a.m.) . lf the time is on the hour, the colon
and zeros may be omitted ; otherwise, use a colon to separate the hour from the min-
utes (11 :.10 a.m.).
 APPEND IX A I BUSINESS US AGE : A STY LE AND ME CH AN ICS GU I DE

among/amongs t These fom1s are inte rchangeable in all] contexts. Among is hy far more
common, especially in North American usage, whereas amongst is more closely identi
fied with British usage and has a somewhat old-fashioned or genteel quality. Amongst
was on ce used with verbs conveying movement (hr. distributed the memr1 amongst his
co-workers), hut this usage is no longer common.
amonglhetween (#) Use among with three or more people or items, betwt:en with two.

There was a dispute among five staff members.

The dispute between the company and its supplier has been resolved.

Use the objective case o r persona l pronouns (me, you, him, her, u.s, them) when they
follow between.
Between you and me, I think we should reconsider the merger.

amount/numb er (#) Amount indicates an uncountable quantity. Use it with nouns that
name uncountable items (work, mail, equipment, money). Number indicates a count-
able quantity. Use it wit.h coun table nouns. TIP: Amount is never used with nouns
end i11g in plural s. Uncountab le nouns always take singular fom1.

He had a number of reports to write- a considerable amount of work for a single day.

amp ersand (&) Use the ampersand sign (&) on ly in abbreviations ( R&D ror research
and development, M&A for mergers and acquhitfrms) and in the regL~tered names of
organizations where it commonly appears (Royal & SunAlliance Canada, Procter &
Gamble Canada). The ampersand should not he suhstit.uted for and in text.
Thei r company has long made use of federal government grants to fund R&D.

appraise/apprise To appraise is to "estimate 1.he value oP'; to apprise is to "infom1 people

of a situation."
as/like As is a suhordinating conjunction that introduces a suho rdinate clause.
His performance in his new position has been outstanding, as [not like ) everyone
expected it would be.

Like is a preposition and is followed by a noun or noun ph rase, not a subordinate

clause. It is especially useful for suggesting points o r similarity or comparison.
Norcom, like Telstar, has expanded its foreign market.

lf the comparison incorporates a prepositional phrase (beginning with in, on, or at),
use as instead of like.
In France, as in Germany, the unit of currency is the euro.

assure/ensure/insure AssL!re means "convince," "promise," or "set someone's min d at

rest.~ Ensure means "make certain." Insure means "guaran tee against fi nancial loss."
TIP: Think of the noun fom1s of these verhs-assurance and insL1rance- to differenti
ate tl1em more easily.

She assured him that the team would meet the deadline.

Her hard work ensured the success of the project.

Thei r assets were insured for well over $1 mil lion.

COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

as to This is an example of hureaucratic jargon. Use more direct suhstilutes, such as on

or about.
I reached a decision about [not as to] the new recruits.

His remarks on [not as to] the team's performance were helpful.

averse/adverse Averse (usually followed hy to) means "opposed to ." Adverse means
"harmful" or "unfavourahle." TIP: Think o f the n oun forms of these adjectives-aver-
.~ion and adver.~ary-Lo differentiate them more ea_c;ily.

She was averse to any plan that would have an adverse effect on efficiency.

hackward/hackwards Backward and baclnvards are int.erchangeahle adverhs meaning

"toward the rear," "in reverse of the usual way," or "into the past."
He counted backwards [or backward) from 1Oto1.

Only backward is used as an adjective meaning "reversed" or "slow to develop or

progress."
The CEO's backward policies are partly responsible for the decline in profits.

had/badly Bad L~ an adjective describing people, places, and thi ngs; also use it a fter link-
ing verbs such as feel, seem, appear, be, ~7nell, and taste .
He felt bad [not badly] about the cutbacks.

Baclly is an adverh used with all other verbs.

The no-refund policy badly damaged customer relations.

heside/hesides Bt:side is a preposition meaning "next to," "near," or "at the side o f."
I sat beside him at the annual general meeting.

Be~ides is like\vise a preposition but means "apart from" or "in addi tion to."

No one besides the team leader liked the proposal.

Besides balancing the departmental budget, the new manager improved employee
relations.

Besides is also an adverh meanin g "moreover," but this particular usage is more
colloq uial.
The fund has performed well in the past. Besides, it promises even higher returns in the
coming year.

between you and me/between y ou and I See among/between

biennial/biannual/semi-annual Biennial refers to something that occurs or recurs every
two years. Biannual and semi-annual mean "twice a year."
biweekly/semi-weekly Biweekly means "every two weeks"; semi-weekly mea11s "twice
a week."
both/each Both means "the two"; it can he used in the follmving ways: both consultant~.
both the wn~-ultants, both of the consultants. Each means "every one of two or more per
sons or things." Both is pluraJ; t:ach is singular.
 APPEND IX A I BUSINESS USAGE : A STY LE AND MECHAN ICS GU I DE

She presented a S100 cheque to both of us to cover our expenses. [two people shared
$100]
She gave us each a $100 cheque to cover our expenses. [each person received $100]

bring/take Use bring when an object. is being transported from a dist.ant place t.o a near
place; use takt: when an object is transponed from a near place to a distant place.
Please bring the figures for the Anderson report with you to today's meeting.
Please take these files with you when you go.

can/may The once all-import.an t distinction between can and may survives in fom1al writ
ing. Can denotes ability, whereas may is reserved for requesting or granting permission.

Can you finish the research today?

May I help you with your research?

capital/capitol Capital refers to the ch ief city o f a country or province, to accumulated

wealth or resources, and to an uppercase letter. In American usage, capitol refers to a
building where lawmakers meet.
CEO/CFO/CIO/COO/CTO These abbreviations require capitalization of all three letters
and may he used on first reference depending on your audience or readership. Add
lowercases to create the plural form (CEOs).
CEO chi~( 1:xecutive 1ifficer
CFO chieffinancial officer
CIO chief informatitm 11.ficer
coo chief operating officer
CTO chief technology officer
chair/chai rperson/chaim1an The gender-neutral chair and chairperson are preferable to
the gender-specific and exdtisionary chainnan.
cite/sight/site See site/sight/cite
company names On first reference, write out the name or the company in full as it
appears on company letterhead (where applicable, include Ud. or Inc.). Afterward, use
the companys shortened name (Manulife in place of Ma.nul\ft: Financial Corporation).
compare to/compare with These forms are generally interchangeahle. Use compare to
to liken one thing t.o another by emphasizing the similarities nf the items heing com-
pared. Use compare with to imply a greater element of fom1al analysis encompassing
hoth similarities and differences.
He compared the new security technology to a brick house.

She compared e-business initiatives with more traditional approaches.

complement/complim en t Complt:ment is a verh meaning "to go with or complete" and a

noun meaning the "thing that completes" or "the full numher needed." Compliment is
a vei.:h meaning "praise" and a notin meaning "a polite expression of praise." TIP: The
first six letters of rnmpl1:ment are identical to the first six letters or wmplete.

His fl uency in three languages complemented his skills a s a communications officer.

Impressed by his credentials, she complimented him on his flu ency in three languages.
COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

continually/continuously Continually is an adverb meaning "occurring repeatedly"

Continuously is an adverb meaning "going on without interruption." TIP: The letter 1
"occurs repeatedly" at the end of wntinually, so rely on the double consonant as a
reminder of the words meaning.
He lost the goodwill of co-worker.; by continually interrupting meetings.
The negotiators reached an agreement after bargai ning continuously for five hours.
could of/coul d have Helping verbs such as could, would, and should are paired with /Jave
to convey potential past action. Could of is non-standard, and therefore incorrect, usage.
council/counsel A council (noun) is "an advisory or administrative hody"; a councillor is
a memher of such a body Counsd is both a noun meaning "advice" and "lawyer" and
a verb meaning "to give advice." Spell-Checker Advisory: Only US English rejects the
rule of doubling the final consonant before vowel suffixes. American-designed diag
nostic software, which is often the default software, may flag counselling and c:oundllor
even though their spelling is correct.
Town council considered amendments to zoning bylaws, but there was no consensus
among councillors.
The company lawyer counselled upper management on the ethics of the proposed
changes.
courtesy titles Courtesy titles (M1: , Mrs., Ms.) commonly appear before the addressee\;
name in the inside address and salutation of a standard business letter. When refer-
ring in text. to an individual, on first reference use the full name without a courtesy
title (Mark Thompson) . Thereafter, refer to the indjvidual by first name (Mark), sur-
name (Tliompwm), or hy courtesy title plus surname (Mr. Thompson).
criterion/criteria A criterion is a standard or principle for judging something. Criteria
is the plural form that is oft.en mistakenly substituted for the sinbrular, resulting in
suhject- verh agreement errOTs.
There are several new criteria for performance reviews.
data Data- "a series of facts rnr pieces of informat.ion"- is t.he plural of datum, a word
that is uncommon and used only in technical WTiting. Data may he treated as a singu
lar noun in all other cases.
The new data is [or are) consistent with last year's findings.
defer/differ Defer is a verh meaning "post.pone" or "yield or make concessions to." Differ
means "he unlike or at variance."
According to the contract, they may defer payment for up to six months.
On most challenging technology issues, the team leader deferred to his IT consultants.
The CEO's position on first-quarter spending differed from the CFO's stance.
different from/different than D!fferent from is widely accepted and prefened in fom1al
and professional writing. Different than is a colloquialism unsuitable for fom1al wnting
but otherwise accept.able when followed by a clause. The British usage different to is
accepted hut uncommon in North America.
Their prices are dramatically different from those of their closest competitors.
Please let me know if your staffing needs are different than they were a year ago.
 APPEND IX A I BUSINESS USAGE : A STY LE AND MECHAN ICS GU I DE

differ frcnnldiffer with Differ from means "he unlike"; differ with means "dL~agree" and
usually suggests a disagreement between people.
The manager's recommendations differed from hers.

The task force members differed with each other over the wording of the agreement.

disinterested/uninterested Dfainterested means "impartial, unbiased, objective"; like

unintert:sted, dhinterested can also mean "not interested."
The matter was referred to a disinterested third party for resolution.

He was uninterested in the new program and decided not to volunteer.

dissent/descent Dissent means "non-confom1ity" or "difference of opinfon." Descent

rders to family lineage. downward movement, or decline.

There was dissent among committee members over the wording of the agreement.

She packed away her laptop as the airplane made its final descent.

download/upload Download means copy or transfer a document or software from a net-

work to a computer or any other data-storage device. Upload means transfer data from
a computer or data-storage device to the Internet or a server. Download and uplr1ad are
also nouns refening to the transferred files . ln Canad ian usage, download also means
to shift costs or responsibilities from one level of government to another.
due to/because of Use due to after forms oft.he verb be. In all other cases, use becaust: rif,
which ls generally preferred.
The success of the project was due to the team's effort.

The project succeeded because of the team's effort.

e-/e-buslness/eilusiness/E-business The prefix e- st.an ds for electronic and is common

to many recent hyphenated coinages: e-learning. e-wmpany, e-commerce, e-mail. Thee
is capitalized only when the word begins a sentence.
Our e business consulting team handles content management and monitors the day-to-
day health of the system.

E-business is the way of the future.

e.g./i.e./ex. The abbreviation e.g. stands for the Latin expression exempli gratia ("for
example"). It is often used in parentheses to introduce an example or to clarify a pre-
cedi ng statement. The abbreviation i.e. st.ands for the lat.in expression id est ("that is
to say"). Use it to expand a point or restate an idea more clearly. In fonnal writing.
replace e.g. with the English equivalent, for instance or for example. The abbreviation
ex. is non-standard.
emigrate from/immigrate to emigrate means "leave <me's own country and settle in
anotl1er." Immigrate means "come as a permanent resident to a country other than
ones own native land."
emin ent/imminent E111int:11t means "notable, distinguished"; imminent means "impend-
ing, ahout to happen."
The panel of speakers includes an eminent psychologist.

A change in staffing procedures is imminent.

COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

emoticons These symbols, which combine punctuation marks to convey strong emo-
tion or tone, are not recom mended for most business correspond ence. Am ong the
best lmown are:-) (happy),;-) (winking sarcasm), and :-o (shocked).
enquiry/inquiry An enquiry is "an act of asking or seeking infom1at.ion"; an inquiry is "an
investigation." Each is a variant spelling for the other.
etc.let al. Commonly used at the end of lists, et.c. is an abbreviation meaning "and the
rest" or "and other things." Use it (as sparingly as possible) to refer to things, not
people. lf etc. comes at the end of a sentence, its single period is sufficient to create a
full stop- there is no need to add another period. The abbreviation et al. stands for
the lat.i n expression et alii ("and others" or "and other people") and is used in source
citations fo r works wi th three or more authors.
explicit/im plicit Explicit means "expressed clearly, definitely, o r in detail." TIP: To
remember this meaning, think of the verb explicate, which shares explicit's word ori-
gin. Implicit, on the other hand, means "n ot plainly exp ressed but implied." less
comm only, it can also suggest a st.ate of containment (often followed by in) or an
unquestioning atti tude.
He gave explicit instructions that no one should interrupt the meeting.

There was an implicit trust among co-workers.

farther/further Use farther t.o suggest greater physical distance; use fur ther t.o sug-
gest great.er time or a more abstract quality. Some writers prefer usi ng further to
suggest distance.
How much farther is it to the ai rport?

Her plan calls for further study.

few/little (#) Use Jew ("not many") with countable items and little ("not much") with
uncountable items.
There were few complaints about the new procedures.

The new proposal met w it h little resistance.

fewer/less (#) These are the comparative forms of Jew and little. Use fewer ("not as
many") with countable it.ems (fewer investments, fewer reports, fewer losses). Use less
("not as much") with uncou nr.ahle items and general amounts (less money, less time,
Im input).
He has less work to do because he has fewer calls to answer.

fiscaVmonetary Fiscal pertai ns to 6nancial o r budgetary matters. Monetary pertains to

money supply.
foreign words and phrases Foreign words and phrases are used freely in certain disd-
plines, such as the law, where they are widely unde rstood and integral to the vocabu-
lary of t.he profession (e.g., pro hono, or "undertaken without charge"). Used out of
context, however, foreign words and phrases may confuse readers, and in such cases
they should be italicized (e.g., .~uijuris, or "having full legal TighL<; or capacity").

former/latter When referri ng to two items, use former to indicate the first and latter to
indicate the second.
 APPEND IX A I BUSINESS US AGE : A STY LE AND ME CH AN ICS GU I DE

formerly/fnrimllly Formerly means "i n the pa.~t." Formally means "in a formal, struc-
tured manner."
Jill was formerly an investment counsellor with Mathers-Acheson.
He knew her to see her, but they had never been formally introduced.
forward/forwards/foreword Both frmvard an d forwards are adverhs meaning "to the
fron t," "ahead," or "into prominence." Fonvards is used to suggest conti nuous forward
motion (hadiwards andfonvards). forward is preferred in most other cases.
They decided to move forward(s] with the project.

Fonvard is also an adjective meaning "at or n ear the Front," "advanced and wi.th a view
to th e future," and "hold or presumptuous." In a specific business context, it refers to
future produce or delivery (forward contract).
Today's forward thinkers are tomorrow's CEOs.

A foreword is a preface to a hook.

fund/funds A fund is "a reserve of mon ey or investments"; the tem1 funds means "money
resou rces."
gone/went Gone is both the past participle of go and an adjective meaning "lost" or "used
up." Went is the past tense of go. Gone L~ always preceded by an auxiliary verb; went
does not require one.
She went [not gone] to the meeting after Steve had gone [not had went) home.

good/we 11 Good is an adjective; well is both an adjective (meaning "h ealthy") and an
adverb (meaning "effectively").
Her interpersonal skills are good.
He is a good judge of character.
She is well today and will return to work.
He performed well in the job interview.

got/have/have got Got is a colloquial., non-standard substitute for have (l got permission
t.o proceed). lt should be avoided in formal business messages. Must. or have are more
acceptable substitutes for have got.
He must [not bas got Lo) submit a new application.
We have [not have got) a week to gather the data for the report.

hanged/hung lianged means "executed hy han ging." !lung means "supported or sus-
pended from the top" and has many informal usag,es (hung out together, hung out to
dry), most o f th em imsuitable for business correspon dence.
With the outlawing of capital punishment, no one has been hanged in Canada in more
than thirty years.
They hung their coats in the reception area before the meeting began.

hardly Hardly means "only just" or "only with difficU11ty " lt sh ou ld not he used with
negative constructions.
I could [not couldn't) hardly believe the sudden upturn in the economy.
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

have/of Use have (not of) after the verhs could, should, would, might, and must.
he/his Decades ago, he was used whenever the sex of a pe rson wa..<; unspecified.
If anyone objects he will have to file a grievance.

Each accountant has his own office where he is free to meet with clients.

Today, many regard this practice, known as common gender, as sexist; h owever,
the effort to avoid discriminatory and exclusionary lanbruage oft.en leads to awk-
ward alternatives. To create gender-neutral sentences, consider using one or the
followi ng methods:

Replace the offending singular pronoun with the plural they/their. Although
this method is expedient and gaining in acceptance, it makes for incorrect gram-
mar and fuzzy logic.
If anyone objects they will have to file a grievance.

Each accountant has their own office where they are free to meet with clients.

Replace the singular possessive pronoun with an indefinite article. This

method cannot remedy sentences in which the pronoun acts as a suhject.
Each accountant has an office suitable for meetings with clients.

Recast the sentence usimg plural forms. Use indefinite pronouns (always sin-
gular) that don't require: subsequent gender identification.
Anyone w ho objects w ill have to file a grievance.

All accountants have their own offices where they are free to meet with clients.

Change he and his to he/site and his/hers. Appropriate if used sparingly, thL<;
method Ls the most awkward way to avoid sexist language. The constmcti on s/he is
not generally recom mended.
headings Headings used to organize long documents should he stylistically consistent
hy level throughout in terms of capitalization , italicization, typeface, spacing, and
placement (centred or flush with left margin).
headquarters Headquarters (ahlm:viated HQ)- the administrative centre of an
organization- takes hoth si111gular and plural verhs.
homepage/hom e page A homepage (also written as home page) is the introductory page
of a website.
htt.p:// and www The protocol http:!/ may he omitted if www is part of the URL or weh
address.
I/we l (singular) and wr. (plural) are first-person pronouns that help to estahlish the
moderate informality o r a personal busi ness style. While personal pronouns are
frowned upon in academic essays, I, you, and wt: can help business writers express
themselves more directly and fluently in their daily tasking-centred messages. In each
case, usage is determined by cont.ext and readers' needs.

Use I for independent tasking or when you are the sole decision-maker.

Use we (1) for collahorative writing projects, (2) when you write on hehalf of
a group or speak for a consensus, and (J) when you have the authority to act
 APPEND IX A I BUSINESS US AGE : A STY LE AND ME CH AN ICS GU I DE

as spokespe rson for the policies and decisions or your organization. We should
never im ply the loftiness of the "royal We" or I.he condescension of Ilow are we
f~eling
today?
imply/infer Imply means "to hint at, suggest, or insinuate without stating plainly." Infer
meai1s "to draw a conclusion from what is written or said." Generally, the writer o r
speaker implies; the reader or listener infers.
While he didn't say so specifically, George implied that the negotiations were going well.

The media inferred from George's comments that the strike would be settled by the end
of the week.

incidents/incidence Incidents is the pl ural fom1 of incident, an event or occurrence that

is either noteworthy or troublesome. lncidence, on the other hand, refers not to the
even.t itself but to its rate of occurrence.
Two recent incidents resulting in complaints against the department require further
investigations.

The increased incidence of absenteeism is cause for concern.

in regard to/in regards to/as regards/regards The expressions in regard to and with
regard to both mean "as concerns," making them interchangeable. As concerns is a
somewhat stuffier expression meaning "about or concerning." ln regards to, a misusage
resulting from a confusion of these similar phrases, is considered incorrect. A~ regards
is an. accept.able phrase. Regards is an informal complimentary close.
In ternet Though web-related words are increasingly found in lowercase, this noun is
capitalized, as is its abbreviation Net.
IPO Use this abbreviation for initial public r1ffering after the first reference.
irregardless/regardless Not to he confused with irrespectiv1: ("regardless or'), which is
acceptahle hut somewhat stiff, irregardless is non-standard and incorrect; instead, use
regardlt:ss (mean ing "without consideration for").
it's/its ft'.~ is a contraction of it is. Its is a possessive pronoun. Li ke other possessive pro-
nouns (his, hers, ours, yours, thdrs), its requires no apostrophe to denote possession.
It's possible to reduce costs.

The company hasn't released its year-end report.

kind/kinds Kind is singular; the nouns and demonstrar.ive pronouns (this and that) that
abree with it are also singular. Kinds is plural; use it to indicate more than one kind.
Use it with plural nouns and demonstrative pronou11s (these, those): this kind of file!
those kinds offiles.
This kind of retroactive agreement is rare.

These kinds of retroactive agreements are rare.

kindly Kindly means "please" in a polite demand or re:quest (Kindly refer to the enclosed
documents) . While the courtesy kindly conveys is never out of place, some regard it as
old-fashioned o r overly gent.eel.
kind of/sort of These informal expressions mean "sonnewhat" or "to some extent" and
usually imply vagueness or looseness about the tem1 to which they are applied.
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

later/latter Later means "after .a time." Latter means "the second-mentioned o r two" or
"nearer t.he end."

Call me later about the arrangements.

The project manager recently reviewed the Stewart and Young accounts and expressed
serious concerns about the latter.

His responsibilities require him to travel in the latter part of the year.

lay/lie Lay is a verb meanjng "to put or place something on a surface." lt requires a direct
object to express a complete idea. Lie means "to be situated in," "to recline," or "to be
in a horizontal position." It does not require a d irect object to express a complete idea.

The present tense of lay and the past tense form of lie are o ften confused.

pre.~en! pre.1rt11t-.1 Pa.it pa.11 partir.lp!e. present. par!ldple

lay lay lays laid laid laying

lie lie lies lay lain lying

lay off/layoff Lay riff (written as two words) L~ a verb meaning "remove employees to cut
costs or decrease the workforce"; layoff (written as a single word) is a noun.
lead/led Lr.ad is both a n oun tbat names a type of met.al and the present-tense singular
form of a verb (pronounced leed) that means "to guid e by goi ng in front." f..ed is the
past tense and past participle of lt:ad.
Teleway Inc. leads its sector in domestic sales.
The department manager led a delegation at last year's equity conference.

lend/loan Lend is a verb meaning "to allow the use of money at interest" or "to give
someone the use of something on t.he understanding it will be returned." f..t:nt is its
past tense an d past participle ([ lent, l have lent). Loan is a noun mean ing a sum of
money lent as weU as a verb meaning "to lend," espedaUy "to lend money."
liahle/libel/likely Liable means "legally bound" or "subject to penalty or tax." Liable is also
a synonym for likely ("probable") and apt ("have a tendency"), but this usage s hould he
avoided in business messages, where it misleadingly implies legal Liability or poten-
tially impleasant results. Libel is "a false and defamatory written statemen t." (Slander, on
the other hand, refers to a "false, malidous and defamatory spoken statement.")

His negligence left the company liable for damages.

Given the defamatory nature of the newspaper report, the company sued for libel.

licence/license As a noun, lir:ence means "a permit from authority to use somethi ng,
own something, or do something ." Its varian t US spelling, license, is usiially accept
able in Canadian usage. As a verb , license (and also licence) means "grant a licence (to
a person)."
loose/lose UWSe is an adjective mean ing "not tigh t" OT "banging partly free." UISe is a
ve rb meaning "cease to have ," "become unab le to find," or "suffe r a loss."

A loose cable connection caused transmission problems.

The telecommunications division has been losing money for years.
 APPEND IX A I BUSINESS US AGE : A STY LE AND ME CH ANI CS GU I DE

many/much (#) Use many when referring to more than one item; use much with
uncountahk or singk items.

many reports, accolades, responsibilities, suitcases, letters

much: work, praise, responsibility, luggage, mail

may be/maybe May be is a ve rh phrase expressing poss ibility. Maybe is an adverh mean
ing "perhaps" or "possihly."
There may be plans for an additional support network.
Maybe the company will be restructured next year.

media/m edium Media is a plmal noun; medium is a s ingular n oim. There is growing
acceptance for the use of media as a mass n oun with a singu lar verh.
Marshall McLuhan claimed, The medium is the message."

The media are on our side.

The media is on our side.

money/monies/moneys M11ney refers lo a form o r medium o f exch ange- coins or

hanknotes. Monies, also spelled moneys, refers to sums o f money.
myselWme I L~ the suhjeclive pronoun (meaning that it functions as a su hject) and me
is the obj ective pronoun (meani ng that it functions as an ohject). To determine correct
pron oun usage in sentences referring to two or more people, temporarily remove all
pron ouns and proper nouns except the pronoun in question:
[I The draft proposal was revised by Jen and I.

~ The draft proposal was revised by me.

~ The draft proposal was revised by Jen and me.

Use the objective case if the pronoun follows a preposition:

Everyone except Paul and me will attend the conference.

Between you and me, the stock is undervalued.

Myself is the reflexive form of me. It refers to or intensifies 1or me. ln all other cases,
avoid suhstituting myself for I and me in formal writing.
I gave myself credit for finishing the report on time.

The chair and I [n11t myselfl offer our heartiest congratulations.

NASDAQ This acron ym stands for National Association of Securities Dealers Aut11mated
Quotation System, the second- largest stock market in the United States. It is also the
ahhreviation used after an initial reference to the NASDAQ compo~ite index.
new economy/old economy New economy refers to the Internet economy; old economy
refers to the pre- Internet economy.
number See amount/number
OK/0.K.fokay These informal fonns of all right or satisfactory are accept.able in most
types of e-mail but sh ould be avoided in formal writing.
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

passed/past Passed is the past tense o r the verh pass. Past means "gone hy in time" or
"recently completed."

She passed the test.

He hasn't travelled in the past month.

per cent/percentJ%/percentage/percentile Per cent (also spelled percent) refers to "one

part in every hundred"; it replaces the% sib>Tl (which is used only in statistical reporl~
and on husi11ess fom1s) and t1sually follows a numeral (JO per cent of the workforce).
Percentage likewise refers to a "rate" or "proportion" out o r one hundred hut usually
follows a descriptive term (e.g., a small percentage). Percentile is a statistical term used
fo r ranking a score in terms of the percentage of scores helow. It usually refers to a
variable resulting from the division o r a population into one hund red equal groups.

Shares climbed 15 per cent since the company reported a $200 million profit last week.
There has been a drop in the percentage of investors who support the sell-off.

He was in the top percentile for his age group.

practical/practicahle Practical means "useful," "sensible," or "designed for fu nction ."

Practicable means "capable of heing put into practice."
His practical approach to debt reduction satisfied investors.
Converting service vehicles to natural gas is not practicable in some regions.

practice/practise Practice (less commonly spelled practise) is a noun meaning "a custom
or way of doing something," "a repeated exercise that develops skills," or "the profes-
sional work of a doctor, lawyer, etc." Practise (less commonly spelled practice) is a verb
meaning "perfonn habitually" o r "he engaged in a profession, religion , etc."
She will open a legal practice when she graduates with her LLB next year.
He will need to practise his French before he transfers to our Montreal office.

precede/proceed Iloth verhs, precede means "come before" and proceed means "go ahead
with an activity" or "continue."
A request for tenders precedes the selection process.
Once you receive authorization, you may proceed with the project.
principal/principle Princ:ipal is an adjective, meaning "fi rst in rank or importance" and
a noun meaning "capital sum" or "chief person" (especially the head o r a school).
Principle is a noun , meani ng "rule" or "axiom." TIPS: The pri mary school saying "the
principal is my pal" is a helpful way of remembering the distinction between these
homonyms. Both principle and rul1: have le endings and simllar meanings.

The principal was reinvested at a rate of 6.5 per cent.

Her high principles helped her rise above the controversy.
Ql, Q2, Q3, Q4 These abbreviations for the rour quarters of the year are appropriate in
charts and internal documen ts, hut in more fom1al documents they shot1ld he written
out as first quarter, second quarter, third quarter, and fourth quarter.
 APPEND IX A I BUSINESS US AGE : A STY LE AND ME CH ANI CS GU I DE

quotation/quote The noun qur1tation is "a reprinted statement made hy another person
or horrnwed from a hook or other source, usually enclosed in quotation marks." J.n
husiness, it often refers to "an estimated cost" or "the current price of a stock or com-
modity." Quote is t.he in formal abbreviated rom1 of the n oun as well as a verh. In busi-
ness, t.he verh often means "to st.ate t.he p rice o f a job ."
She began her speech with a quotation from The World Is Flat.
The quote [or quotation) for the project seemed unreasonably high.
At the close of markets today, gold was quoted at $325.

rational/rationale Rational is an adjective that means "sensible" or "hased on reason."

Rationale L.c; a noun that means "the logical ba..c;is ror something." It is often followed
by for or rif.
A corporate sell-off was not the most rational course of action.
By establishing a rationale for the new policy, he ensured tfhe highest degree of compliance.

real/really Real is an adjective; really is an adverh. Do not use real as an adverb if you
want to avoid sounding folksy and colloquial.
Our finest line of desktop organizers is crafted from real Cordovan leather.
He said he was really [not real) sorry about the delay.

reason is b ecau se/reason is that The reason is because is redundant. Use either because
or the reason . . . is that.
The reason revenues grew was that [not is because] the company sold its poor-
performing lending business.
Revenues grew because the company sold its poor-performing lending business.

reason that/reason why Th e expression the rt:ason why is redundant. Use either the
reawn that or simply why.
I don't know the reason that [not the reason why] he left.

I don't know why he left.

regardles s/irregardless/irrespective R1:gardl1:.~s. usually rollowed hy rif, means "with out

co11sideration of' or "despite what might happen." Irregardless is non-standard for regard
less. Irrespective, also followed hy rif, means "regardless" or "not taking into account."
respectfully/respectively Respec:ifully, a com mon but relatively formal complimen tary
close, means "with respect." Respectively means "in that order."
I respectfully submit this report for your consideration.
The first- and second-place rankings were awarded to Future Link Corp. and Emergent
Technologies Inc., respectively.

s halVwilll Shall wa..c; once commonly used as a helping ve rh with I and we t.o ex-press
future actio11 and with second a11d th ird persons to ex-press intention or detem1ina-
tion_ Will was used, conversely, to exp ress in ten tion \vith th e first person and the
future tense in the second and th ird persons. Tod ay, th ere L<; less confusion ahout
when to use shall and will. Now less common , shall L.o; still used to express a suggestion
CO MMU N I C ATI N G FO R RESU LTS

or pose a very polite q uestion (Shall we go?) . In legal documents, shall expresses obli-
gation o r duty (The author shall revise the work.), hut the fo rmality of the word makes it
less suitable for most husi.ness messages. Will is now used with all persons to form the
future tense and to express an assertion or a strong command.

s hould/would Should expresses duty, ohligation (I should invest more of my disposable

income.), advisability (lle should see/1 legal counsel.) or likelihood (The markets should
improve by the t:nd of tht: wet:k.). It replaces shall in questions that ask what to do or
request consent (Should l revise the report?) . Would ei..11resses hahitual action (lTe would
call a meeting l'Very Friday.), a conditional mood (The company would have met its targets
if it had rt:dw:ed riverhr.ad t:xpr.nses.), or prohability (Profits would exceed $1 million. or
!Te would make a good CEO.).

since/because Since usually relates to time. Avoid using since as a suhstitute for br.caust: if
there is any hint of ambiguity, as in the following example: Since [mea11ing both from
that time and became) he got a promotion, he has spent more on luxuries.
He has received five job offers since his graduation last June.

sitt:/sight/cite Site is a noun referring to "a partkular place," including a single source
for files or services on the Internet. Sight is both a noun referring to the faculty of see-
ing or a thing seen and a verb meani.ng "ohserve or notice." Cite, also a verb, means
"t.o quote or mention as an authority or example."

The new site for our company offices will offer easy access to public transit.

The sight of the month-old sandwich in the cafeteria made him ill.

Analysts cited increased profit-taking as a reason for caution.

sometimt:/sometimes/snme tim e Sometime means "at some imspecified time in tbe
future." Sometimes means "occasionally." Some time means "a span of ti.me."

The committee will meet sometime in May to make its final decision.

He is sometimes late for meetings.

Can you spare some time later this afternoon?

s tationary/s tationery Stationary means "n ot moving." Stationery refers t.o wri ting mate-
rials and office supplies. TIP: the e in the ending of stationery should remind you of
the e's in envelope and letter).
s uppose to/supposed to Suppose to is non-standard for supposed to. The final d and the
precedlng verb be are essential to convey the idea of a plan, obligation, or somer.hlng
that L~ generally accepted. Suppose, without be and the final d, means "assume" or "he
inclined to think. " l suppose so is an expression of hesitant agreement.

The meeting was supposed to take place last Thursday, but was postponed indefinitely.

I suppose the profit warning will deter investors.

takeover/take over Takeover is a noun 1.hat refers to "the assumption of control or own-
ership of a husiness," especially tbe sometimes hostlle huyi.ng out of one business by
another. Take over is a verb meaning "1.0 control" or "to succeed to the management o r
ownership oP' somethlng.
 APPEND IX A I BUSINESS USAGE : A STY LE AND MECHAN ICS GU I DE

dtRn/then Than is a conjunction that indicates comparison. Then is an adverh that shows
relationships in time.

The XJ copier is faster than the older AP model.

We will do the costing, then submit a bid.

than 1/th an me The choice of a pronoun can alt.er the meaning of a sen tence. To check
that the pronoun delivers its intended meaning, temporarily add the extra words that
are implied.
Hopkins likes golf more than I. [in other words, Hopkins likes golf more than I like goln

Hopkins likes golf more than me. [in other words, Hopkins likes golf more than he likes me]

that/which/who These relative pronouns are key sentence builders because they intro-
duce clauses that limit the meaning of the word or words they refer to . Relative pro-
nouns add clarity hy defining relationships and, because of this, should he retained in
documents intended for translation. On the other hand, too many that, which, and who
clauses create a cluttered and awkward syn tax. For conciseness, especially in inform.al
documents, revise wordy clauses hy replacing them with equivalent modifiers.

Awkward: Place copies of claims that have been rejected in the tray that is red.

Revised: Place copies of rejected claims in the red tray.

Awkward: The adjuster who handles small claims is the one that you should speak to.

Revised: You should speak to the small claims adjuster.

lt is important to distinguish between that, which, and who. That refers mainly to
things or animal~ hut can also refer to a group of people (The committee that revised
the proposal received praise.). That introduces restrictive clauses adding information
essential to the meaning of the sen tence. Restrictive clauses beginning with that are
not set off with commas. Which also refers to things or animals hut introduces non-
restrictive dai1ses con taining infom1ation that is helpful hut not necessarily essential
to the meaning of a sentence. Non-restrictive clauses are set off \vith comm.as. Less
commonly, which can also he used t.o introduce restrictive clauses. Who is a relative
pronoun that refers to people.
The report that you sent me yesterday is timely and well prepared. [that yau sent me yes-
terday limits the report to a particular report]
Your report, which I received yesterday, is timely and well prepared. [which Ireceived yes-
terday just provides more infom1ation about the repon]
Analysts who recently predicted falling share prices are now optimistic about the stock's
performance. [When not set off with commas, the restrictive clause who recently pre-
dicted foiling share prices limits analysts to a particular group of analysts.)
Analysts, who recently predicted falling share prices, are now optimistic about the stock's
performance. [When followed hy a non-restrictive d:ause set off with commas, th e
meaning of analysts remains general.]

themselves/themself/theirselves Themselves is the only correct form of this plural

reflexive pronoun.
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

there/their/they're There refers to a posi.t.ion or place and is also used to indicate the
existence o f someth ing at the beginning o f an expletive senten ce (There i.s a new Ii.sting
011 the TSX.). Thdr is a possessive pronoun. They're is the contraction o f they are.
toward/towards As prepositions meaning "in the direction o f," toward and towards are
equal and interchangeable. It is best to pick one spelling and use it consistently within
a document.
unsolvable/insoluble/ins olvent Both unsolvable and insoluble mean "incapable of being
solved." Insolvent means "unable to pay ones debts."
u se to/used tn Used to is the only correct usage when referring tn someth ing that hap
pened in the past; the d ending in used is essen tial.

He used to work for this company but now he heads up his own business.

wait for/wait on Wait for mean s "await"; wait on can mean either "serve" or "await."
while The subordinate conjunction while means "during that time" as well as "in spite of
the fact that" and "on the contrary." If you are using it to concede a point, while must
not deliver the unintended meaning of simultaneous act.ion. Un less "during that time"
is the intended meaning, replace while with although, whaeas, or de~pite the fact that.

Ambiguous: While there are problems, I think we should proceed with caution. [ThL~
implies "proceed with caution only as long as the problems persist.")

Clear: Although there are problems, I think we should proceed with caution.
[Th is means "proceed with caution in spite of the fact that t.lnere are
prohlem..~. ")

Amhiguous: I thought we should move ahead with the project while they had other
ideas.

Clear: I thought we should move ahead with the project whereas they h ad other
ideas.

who/that/which See tbat/whicl1/wbo

who/whom The distinction hetween who (the subjective case o f the pronoun) and whom
(the objective case nf the prono un) is fa.~t di..~appearing, especially in less formal
contexts. Who is now the convenient multi-purpose ch oice for harri ed writers, hut
when more fom1ality and ahsolute correctness are required, refer to the following case
chart, then consider the type of sentence who/whom appears in:

Pronoun Case: who vs. whom:

who I, you, he, she, it, we, you , they (all s ubjects)
whom me, you, him, her, it, us, you, them (all objects)

who vs. whom in sente nces that ask questions

1. Does the interrogative pronoun perform the action (who) or receive the
action (whom) of the sentence?
2. If this is not clear, answer the question the sentence asks, then use the
chart above to match u p the correct form.
Who was responsible for filing the Gustafson report? (She, not h e1, was
responsible for filing r.he Gustafson report; therefore who is correct.)
 APPEND IX A I BUSI NE SS US AGE : A STY LE AND MECH ANICS GU I DE

Whom did CanBizMagazine hire as its new editor? (CanBiz Magazine h ired
him , not he, as its 11ew edit.or; therefore whom is correct.)
J. Whom commonly follows prepositions such as to and for (think of the
salu tation To Whom It May Concern) .
For whom was the memo intended? (Th e memo was intended for them,
not they.)
To whom should the letter be addressed? (The letter should be addressed
to her, not she.)

who vs . whom in sentences that make s tatements

The relative pronouns who an d whoever (suhj ective case) and whom and whomever
(objective case) are o ften the first words of subordinate clauses. To test for the
correct pronoun, isolate the suhordinat.e clause, then replace who/whom wi th the
correspond ing case of pronoun (see the accompanying case chart). Rearrange the
clause to see whether a pronoun subject or pronoun object makes the most sense.
Original Sentence: Employees who/ whom senior management encouraged
reported greater job sati sfaction.
Subordinate Clause: who/whom senior management encouraged
Trial Subs titutions: x senior management encouraged they = who
-1' senior management e ncouraged the m = whom

C orrect Sen tenc e: Employees whom sen ior ma nagement e ncouraged

reported greater job satisfaction. [You may drop whom from the sentence
to lessen the form ali ty: Employees senior management ~?icouraged reported
greater job satisfaction. )
Original Sentence: The award for business excellence goes to whoever/
whomever contributes the most to the company in the next fiscal year.

Su bordinate Clause: whoever/whomever contributes the most

Trial Subs titutions: -1' she contributes the most = whoever
x her contributes the mo st = whomever
Correct Sente nce: The award for business excellence goes to whoever contrib
utes the most to the company in the next fiscal year. [In th is case, the ohjective-
case-follows-a-preposition rule doesn't apply. The object of the p reposition
isn't a si ngle word- whomever- hut I.he entire clause beginning with I.he
pronoun, making th e suhject whoever the only correct choice. )

who's/whos e Who'.~ is th e contraction of who is. Whose is the possessive fom1 of who.
Who's eligible for the new training program?

Our chief sales representative, whose name is Paul Sharma, will be glad to assist you.
Whose phone is this?

your/you're Your is a possessive adjective meaning "helonging to you"; you're L~ a con

traction of you are.
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

USAGE EXERCISE
According to context, select the correct word in each set. of parentheses:

l. He (a.ssured/em1md/insured) me he would keep the (amount/number) of chm1ges to a

minim um.

2. Th e (ajfecl~leffecl~) of the (take over/takeover) were felt by many personnel. Th ose most
(affected/effected) blamed (bacliwardlbac:kwards) policies.

3. After (alot/allot/a lot) of consult.at.ion with printers, the vice-president approved the
new design for the company (stationary/statirme1y).

4. With (fewer/less) reports to file, there is (fewer/less) work to do.

5. She was (suppose to/supposed to) settle 1.he dispute (among/between) the five committee
members.

6. Th e delegates were accompanied (by/with) two members of the support staff.

7. ln the (pa.st/passed) year, the government has (pa.st/passed) new labour legislation.

8. The hiring committee will meet (sometime/some time/sometimes) in the next week.

9. The dispute resolution committee agreed (to/with) the proposed changes.

10. Because the confe rence is held (biennially!biannually!semiannually), Sean has two
years to prepare his next study of investment trends.

11. (As regards/ln regard to/Regards) your request to (precede/proceed) wi th the project, l
fully support your initiative and ask that you move (foreword!forward.~lforward) with
the plan.

12. (Between you and mt:!Between you and (), I think the need for more (capital/capitol) is
justified.

13. Lise (could cif!could have) solved the problem if she had been (apprised/appraised) of the
si tuation.

14. Every (chainnanlchairperscm!chair) of the advisory (council!ccmnsel) has had (his own/
an) office.
15. Our team\; recommendations differed (from/with) (theirs/there's).

16. Mai Li plans to apply to (a/an) MBA program next year.

17. (Compared to/Compared with) his co-workers, Jorge performs (well/good) under pres
sure (due to/because of) his superior time-management ski.lls.

18. The cancellation of the flight was (due to/becaust: of) mechanical problems.

19. (While/A lthough) the financial officer (who/whom) he reports to is supportive, s he plans
to cut the budget for bis department.

20. The committee is looking for applicants (who/whom) they feel are best prepared to
promote our products in emerging markets.
 APPEND IX A I BUSINESS US AGE : A STY LE AND ME CH ANI CS GU I DE

Abbreviations and Acronyms

ABBREVIATIONS
Ahhreviations should he used sparingly and only when their meanings are ohvious to
the reader.

Abbreviated titles be fore and after names: Use ahhreviations ending in periods for
titles that precede names (Mr., Ms., Mrs., Prof., Dr., Hon.) or ahhreviations for degrees and
professional designations that follow names (CA, Ph.D., M.D., LLB., Q.C.):
../ ../ x
Ms. Maria DaSilva Maria DaSilva, CA Ms. Maria DaSilva, CA
Dr. Paul Lui Paul Lui, M.D. Dr. Paul Lui, M.D.
Hon. Peter Kent
Thomas McKay, Jr.
Rev. Ian Wilding
Prof. Iqbal Khan Iqbal Khan, Ph.D. Prof. Iqbal Khan, Ph.D.

Abhreviations of months: All months except May, J une, and July can he abbrevi
ated when the month is w1itten in text and is followed by a numeral (Oct. 5,]an. 28,
June 17). Use full spelling for the month if it appears on it.sown or if it is followed hy
a year (December; March 1998). Do not abhreviate months in lette r datelines.
Abhreviations of provinces and addresses: Use the two-letter postal ahhreviations
of provinces and territories (AB, BC, MB, NB, NL, NS, NT, NU, ON, PE, QC, SK, YT)
in add ress hlocks. Spell out the province'!> name in text when it is accompanied hy the
name of a town or city (the Markham, Ontario, plant will be expanded) and when the
province name appears alone (the Ontario plant will be expanded). Spell out words such
as street, boult:vard, and avenue in all inside addresses and in text wh en no numher is
part o f the address (please vhit our Ilastings Street riffke).

Jn general, make ahhreviations as clear as possih le. If necessary, add periods t.o ahhrevia-
tions that might he mistaken for words or typographical errors (e.g., a.h.a. or a.m.).

ACRONYMS
An acronym is a shortened form created from the first letters of a series o f words. It is
pron ounced either as a single word (e.g., WHO stands for the World Health Organ ization;
other examples are NATO and CANDU) or by lette r (by-letter acronyms, such as the CBC
o r RCMP, are called initialisms) and in most cases does not require periods. If an acronym
is well k111own , use it without explanation; otherwise, sp ell it out parenthetically on first
reference: CPA (Ct:rtj~ed Public Accountant), Al'P (Associatirm <if Fundraising Professionals).
Acronyms are oft.en used for the following:

names of corporation s and banking institutions

BMO CIBC IBM RBC

names of organizations and government agencies

CAW CBC CDIC CPP CRTC CSA CSIS NATO UNESCO

CO M M U N I C ATI N G FOR RESU LTS

abbreviated phrases and compound nouns

ASAP (as soon as possible)

CSB (Canada Savings Bond)

FAQs (frequently asked questions)

GIC (Guaranteed Investment Certificate)

MODEM (modulator/demodulator)

MS (multiple sclerosis)

RADAR (radio detecting and ranging)

RAM (random access memory)

RFI (request for information)

RFP (request for proposal)

RRSP (Registered Retirement Savings Plan)

RSVP (repondez s'il vous p lait)

SUV (sport utility vehicle)

VIP (very important person)

Numbers
Numbers may be expressed as words or as figures. In general, numbers up to and includ-
lng ten are expressed as words; numbers above ten are expressed as figures. There are
exceptions to this rule. For example, in this text, round numbe rs (e.g., fifty, one hundred)
are expressed as words.

NUMBERS USAGE

Emphasis: Numbers under ten may be written as figures in special financial contexts
and data references (The TSX is down R point~. ).
Placement: Write the m1mher as a word if it begins a sentence (Fifteen council m~?n
bers attended the meeting.). Hyphenate words that fom1 a single number (Seventy-eight
applications have been ~11bmitted.) . lf the number consists of more than two words, con-
sider revising the sentence so that the number is not at the beginn ing (On average, 175
employees apply for thi~ program each year.).
Money: Use figures to express sums of money greater than one dollar (The deluxe
staplers wst $22.95 t:ach.). Omit the decimal and zeros when expressing whole dollar
amoimts (The starting salary is $50,000.).
Big figures: Write million or. billion as a word instead of a figure with multiple zeros.
The number that precedes million or billion is expressed as a flbri.tre (The company
committed $2 million to the pnlject.). Figures in the millions are generally rounded off
to one decimal place, but care should be taken to avoid posslble misrepresentation
(Average compensation reached almost $.5..5 million this year.).
 APPEND IX A I BUSINESS USAGE : A STY LE AND MECHAN ICS GU I DE

Ages: Use words to el<11ress ages (The preferred age for early retirement is ftftyfive.)
unless the age follows a name (Joan Bmmerman, 62, is tlie top candidate for CFO.).
Related numbers: Express related numbers (referring to items in the same category)
in the fom1 used for the larger number (Four of the five candidates have graduate degrees.
and We are prepared to retire 7 vehicles from our current Jlt:et. of 32.). Express the first
related number as a word if it falls at the beginning o f a sentence (Sew:n of hi.~tmy'.~ 10
large:st bankruptcies occurred in 2001 or 2002.).
Ccmsecutive numbers: Differentiate consecutive numbers that modify the same noun
by expressing the first as a word and the second as a fibrure (She purchased four 20-year
bonds). If the first number consists of more than two words, express it as a figure (2.50
twelve-page imerts).
Decimals and percentages: Use figures to express decimals (9. 75). For amounts less
than one, put a zero before the decimal (0.5) unJess the decimal it~elf begins with
a zern (.08). Avoid using more than two decimal points in text. AL~o use fibrures to
express percentages along with t.he word per cent (a: 10 per cent drop) or followed by
the %symbol in statistical reports (a .5% increast:). Use the% sib'll \vi th each individual
number (Tlie share-return price shrank t.o 45% from 57% the previous year.). Spell out
the percentage at the beginning of a sentence (Thirty per c:ent of area residt:11ts opposed
tlie development.) .
Simpl e fractions: Express simple fractions as words in text (Thrt:e quarters of
Canadians /Jave Internet ac:cess.) and hyphenate them when they are used as modifiers
(lie sold his one-quarter share in the company.).
Time: To express clock time (\vith a.m. or p.m.), use figures (a meeting will bt: ht:ld
on February 4 at 2:00 p.m.). To ex11ress periods of time, use words (Tlie company lias
manufactured optical instrumt:11ts for sixty-five years.) or use fibrures for emphasis of
important financial or contractual terms (a JO-day m(mey-back &'arantt:e).
Dates: Use figures when the number follows the name of the month (January 15) and
use ordinals (.!st, 2nd, Jrd) when the number precedes the name of the month (We will
meet cm tlie 15th rif January.). Do not use ordinals in European or military-style date
lin es (15 January 2014).
Weights and measurements: Use figures to express weights a nd measure
men.ts \vith flgures (each unit weighs 2.2 kg; tlie office L~ 5 kilometres from Vancouver
lntematicmal Airport).
Telephone and fax numbers: For telephone and fax numbers in Canada and the
United States, put the area code in parentheses and insert a hyphen aft.er the exchange,
for example (519) 5552167; if extensions are essential, place a comma after the tele
phone numher followed by the abbreviation Ext or ext. For internal numbers, include
only the extension, for example Please call Terry Simpson, ext. 445. Periods may also be
used in place of more conventional punctuation: 519.555.2167.
Addresses: 'vVrite street numbers in figures, except for the number one.
Chapters and sect.ions: Use figures lo designate chapter and section numbers.
Capitalize the word before the numher (Chapter 7, Sf:ction J).
COMMUN I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

WORDS FIGURES
numbers ten and under numbers above ten
numbers that begin sentences numbers that begin sentences (3+ words)
small fractions weights and measurements
ages ages that appear after names
periods of time clock time
addresses
sections, chapters, pages
decimals, percentages
money

NUMBER USAGE EXERCISE

Correct numher usage erro rs in the following sentences:

l. 45 of the 75 applications for the advertised position were submitted electronically.

2. Project development was documented through a series of 5 10-page reports.

3. Our small electronics division had revenues of $12,900,000.00 in t.he latest fiscal
year, an increase of fifteen per cent over the previous year.

4. When the price of gasoline rose t.o one dollar and twen ty cents a litre, 1 media outlets
in the greater Halifax area reported that price gouging was to hlame.
5. The association's first confe rence on hiomedical ethics, scheduled for January the
tenth, is eiq1ected to draw more than three-h undred-and-fifty participants.

6. Our 5 Calgary-area sales centres were among the top 20 dealerships in the country for
the 4th consecutive year.

7. Pure Citrus Products was charged with false advertising when it was found that iL~
Premierrn Juice product line contained only .5 per cent real fruit ji1ice.

Capitalization
CAPITALIZATION GUIDELINES

Proper nouns: Proper nouns, which name specific people, places (geographic loca-
tions), and things, should he capitalized. References to language, c:ulture, or ethnicity
(l'rench, Indonesian) should also be capitalized. Common nouns, naming gem.era! cat-
egories, are not capitalized u nless they fall at the beginning of a sentence.

Ptoper Noun Com mon Noun

First Canadian Place office t.ower
Nova Scotia Communlity College community college
Air Canada airline
Hinduism religion
Lake Athabasca lake
 APPEND IX A I BUSINESS US AGE : A STY LE AND ME CH ANI CS GU I DE

Business and proressional titles: Capitalize husiness titles only when they precede
names or appear in inside addresses, salutations, signature blocks, official documents,
and minutes of meeti ngs. Do not capitalize these titles when they follow names or
appear alone in running text.
Ms. Shauna Kovick
Director of Human Resources
Technion Enterprises, Inc.
Ottawa, ON K4W 2E9
Sincerely,
David McHenry
Corporate Travel Administrator

Stephanie Di Castro, director of marketing, devised the n ew campaign.

Vice-President Leung has been assigned to head our Winnipeg operation.

Please consult the district manager before drafting the RFP.

Note that the style b'llidelines of ind ividual organizations may have different standards.
Departm ent and division names: Capitali ze the names of com mittees, depart
ments, and divisions within your organization. lt is customary in some organizations,
however, to lowercase these names. lf in doubt about which style your organization
prefers, consult corporate style guidelines. Use lowercase for non-specific names of
committees, departments, and divisions out~ide your o rganjzation.
The package was forwarded to our Project Management Division.

Antonio was recently transferred to our Accounting Department.

Their sales division was recently downsized.

Organization nam es: Capitalize all words (excluding non-initial conj unctions and
prepositions) in the names of puhlic- and private-sector industries, educational insti-
tutions, governmen t hodies, and social agencies, a_~ well as charitahle, non-profi.t,
religious, and professional organizations.
Canadian Cancer Societ y Environment Canada

HSBC Securit ies Ministry of Transportation

Toronto District School Board Hospital for Sick Children

Product names: Capi talize only trademarked items and manufacturers' names, not
general products.
Canon copier IBM computer

Academic degrees and courses: Capitalize specific degrees and courses as well as
names of academic degrees t.hat follow a person's name. Abbreviations for academic
degrees are always capitalized. Degrees and courses referred to more generally are
lo we rcased.
Jason Jackson, M.B.A.

He earned his Bachelor of Science degree.

He earned a bachelor's degree in science.
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

Book titles: Capitalize the in itial word and all principal words (not articles, conjunc-
tions, or prepositions) in the titles of books, articles, magazines, periodicals, news
papers, reports, government documents, films, songs, plays, and poems. The titles of
major wo rks or publications (such as books, magazines, and newspapers) should be
underl ined or itaHcized. The titles of all other works should be enclosed within quo
tation marks.
Quot.at.ions and bullet points: Capitalize the fi rst word of quoted material that is a
full sentence (Debashis Chaudry said, "The c:ompcmy is remarkably different than it was
a decade ago.") , but do not capitalize the beginning of the second part if the quota-
tion is intenllpted mid-sentence. Do not capitalize the first lette r of a qi1otation if the
quotation itself is not a complete sentence (The c:hair of the advismy board said that it
was time to put an end to "fuzzy corporate accounting."). Capitalize the initial word o r a
numbered or bulleted item appearing in list fom1 if it is part of a head ing or a com
plete sentence.
E-mail and computer functions: Capitalize all e-mail and computer functions, as in
Click on Send. Copy notations in e-mail (cc:, bee) are not capitalized.
Nouns preceding letters or numbers: Capitalize nouns that precede numbers or let
ters (Flight 98, Gate 44, Room 3122, Table B).

CAPITALIZE DO NOT CAPITALIZE

proper nouns common nouns
courtesy or business titles preceding titles used as appositives or in place
names of names
internal department and division non-specific external departments
names or divisions
specific academic degrees and courses general degrees and subjects
trademarked product names common product names
compass points naming specific regions compass points indicating direction
nouns followed by numbers or letters
e-mail or computer functions

CAPITALIZATION EXERCISE
Correct the following sentences by capitalizing words as required:

l. president siddiqui's favourite book is the world is flat by t.hornas l. fried man.

2. winnipeg-based enterprLse press plans to launch its first french-language daily news-
paper in the competitive montreal market.

3. As stated in article 5 oft.he senate report, our faculty of business will launch a new
program called entrepreneurial studies in the 2014- 2015 academic year.

4. the director o r public relations will discuss the reintroduction of the gift-card program
when she meets wi th the president next week.
5. tim hortons' famous double-double has helped the chain become the most profitable
divLsion o r the us fast-food giant wendy's.
 APPEND IX A I BUSINESS US AGE : A STY LE AND ME CH AN ICS GU I DE

Usage-Related Internet Resources

Visit the rollowing websites for more on usage.

University of Calgary Style Guide: Prepared hy the university's communications office,

this concise document offers guidance on spelli ng and capitalization from a Canadian
perspective.
www.ucalgary.ca/news/styleguide

The university also provides a list of the best online resources for citation guides and writ-
ing help.
http://library.ucalgary.ca/research-support/citing-writingl
on line-citation-and-style-guides

Common Errors in English : This page hriefly explains homonyms, homophones, and
usage queries.
www.wsu.edu/-brians/errors/errors.html#errors
NetLingo: The Internet Dictionary: This site offers rules for the spelling and hyphena-
tion of In ternet terms and explanations of common acronyms.
www.net.lingo.com

Dictionary of English Usage: Sponsored by a European Inte rnet provide r, this site fea-
tures detailed entries to help you make your wording precL~e .
www.tiscali.eo.uk/reference/dictimtRries/english

Salutations and Complimentary Closes: A User's Guide

SALUTATIONS FOR E-MAIL
Salutations and complimentary closes are optional in e-mail messages but are fast becom-
ing stand ard to a more personalized, reader-centred approach. Greetings and appropriate
conduding remarks can soften otherwise abrupt messages, building goodwill and secur-
ing compliance. Vary the salutation and complimentary dose to Rt the tone, subject, and
nature of the message and t.o reflect your relationship to the reader. For example, it is best
to refrain from closing with "Cheers" when your message contains bad news. Consider the
degree of authority vL~-it-vis friendliness you wish to project.

Formal l ess Formal In formal

Dear recipient\; first name Hello (\vithout using
by itsetr the recipients name)
Good Morning Hi (without using the (recipient\; name
Good Afternoon recipient\; name) incorporated withjn
first line o r message)
Greetings

CLOSERS FOR E-MAIL

Formal l ess Formal
Sincerely Cheers
Best wishes Regards
Best
Thanks (to show appreciation)
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

COMPLIMENTARY CLOSES F OR STANDARD LETTERS

Sincerely is universally accepted as the most appropriate complimentary dose for stand ard
business letters; however, in certain circumstances, an alternative complimentary close
may help you achieve a higher or lower degree of fom1ality. Before making your choice,
consider the following factors:

workplace style guidelines and expected level of fom1ality

your relationship to the reader and fi:equency of correspondence
tone and the nature of the message
your position with in the company hierarchy

Here is a sampling of standard complimentary closes:

Very Formal Somewhat Formal Informal

Respectfully Sincerely Regards
Very sincerely yours Sincerely yours Best regards
Very truly you rs Cordially Best wishes

Standard Phrases and Their Plain-Language Alternatives

As discussed in Chapter 1, plai n. lall!,ruage is becoming more common in business com-
munication. The following list pmvides examples of standard husiness phrases and I.heir
plain-language replacements.

Standard Phrases (Wordy/Outdated) Plain-Language Equivalents

are in receipt of have received
are of the opinion that think, helieve
as per your request as you requested, at your request
at your earliest convenience soon, hy (speci fic date)
enclosed herewith plea~e find enclosed
forthwith without delay, at once
in the eventuality that if
in view of the fact that because
pursuant to your request at your request
thanldng you in advance thank you
Subject- Verb Agreement
Nothing detracL~ from the professionalism of business messages as severely as faulty
suhject- verh agreement. Verhs- "doing words" that show actions or states of heing-
must agree with their subjects hoth in number (singular/plural) and person (I, you, he,
she, it, we, you, tht:y). The primary rule is that singular subjects-those that name just
one thing- require sinb>ular verbs, and plural subject5'-those that name more than one
thing- require plural verbs.

S RULE FOR THIRD - PERSON AGREEMENTS

There is a simple way to remember how to make correct subject- verb agreement that
applies to siObrttlar and plural subjects in the third person (subject nouns that can be
replaced by he, she, it, one, or they). Agreement wi.th a singular subject in the third person
is made hy adding s to t.he verb:
The a uthor support~ the subsidies.
The plural subject L~ fom1ed by adding s or es to the noun, hut nos is found at the end of
the ve rb that agrees with it:

The author~ support the subsidies.

It stands to reason that only one element in the pair- eith er subject or ver~an end ins.
If both eud ins or neither ends ins, an error in agreement has been made.

FINDING THE SIMPLE SUBJECT

Part of the challenge in making subjects and verbs agree is finding the simple subject. To
do this, ignore intervening phra~es that begin with prepositions (words such as in, at, of,
and on) and make the ve rb agree with the subject word I.hat comes immediately before
the preposition.
The author of the report supports subsidies. (singular subject/singular verb)
The author of the reports supports subsidies. (singular subject/singular verb)
The authors of the report support subsidies. (plural subject/plural verb)

COMPOUND SUBJECTS
Subjects joined by and take a plural verb.
The company and its subsidiary manufacture appliances. (compound subject/plural
verb)
COMMUN I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

Only subjects joined by and LhaL name a single thing Lake a singular verb.
Red beans and rice is his favourite dish. (singular subject/singular verh)

JOINING WORDS NOT EQUIVALENT TO AND

The following joining words are noL equivalent to and- they do not alter the number of
the subjects that come before them:

accompanied by except together with

along with in addition to with
as well as including

To determine verb agreement, simply ib'Tlore 1.h e nouns 1.h at follow these joining words.
The director, as well as the managers, is pleased with the sales figures.

COLLECTIVE NOUNS AS SUBJECTS

Collective nouns- common in business correspondence- name groups of things or
people: for example, team, committee, group, family, class, number, audience, jury, couple.
CollecLive nouns present a challenge Lo verh agreement because they can be eiLher
sil"lb'l.1lar or plural suhject.s depending on t.he dynamics of t.he group. Collective nouns
are Lreated as singular to convey 1.he idea o f the group acting togeLher and as plural to
convey the idea of members of Lhe group acLing individually. Most often, Lhey are treated
as singular.

The committee is meeting on Wednesday.

The committee are unhappy with each other's proposals.

To c larify th e idea of individual action wit.bin I.he group, add a plural noun such as
members.
The members of the committee are unhappy with each other's proposals.

An exception to the rule: the number . .. requires a singular verb; a number . .. requires a
plural verb.
The number of applicants is down this year.

A number of applicants are ta king MBA degrees.

SINGULAR SUBJECTS IN PLURAL FORM

vVords such as economics, ergonomics, human resources, measles, mumps, and news are
sil"lb'lllar. Words such as physics, mat.hematics, athletics, and statistics are singular when
they describe disciplines. \hen these words refer to multiple it.ems, they are treated as
plural nouns.

Statistics is a required course for a degree in psychology.

The new statistics are now available.

AMOUNTS AND UNITS OF MEASUREMENT AS SUBJECTS

When the subject names an amounL (e.g., of Lime, money, dL~tance, or weighL) th ought of
as a single mtit, the subject takes a singular verb.
 APPEND I X B I GRA M M A R H A N DBOOK

Thirty dollars is the closing price for a share of Computex.

Two weeks is too long to wait for the estimates.

A five per cent increase in sales is expected.

When th.e subject names an amoun t thought o f in terms of individual things or persons,
the subject takes a plural verb.
One-third of the new employees have requested parking spaces.

Eighty per cent of the programmers are satisfied with the current system.

TITLES, TERMS, AND ORGANIZATION NAMES AS SUBJECTS

Use a sin.1:,?Ular verb with the name of an organization, with a work cited by it~ ti.tie, and with
words that make up a single t.enn, even if the name, title, or tem1 includes a plural noun.
Edgaworth, Flett, & Thompson LLP has represented us. for five years.

The Eight Practices is a book that explores the subject of human capital.

SENTENCES BEGINNING WITH HERE AND THERE

Subjects follow verbs in sentences begi nning with here and there.
There is a report on that issue.
There are reports on that issue.
Here are the new sales figures.

SUBJECTS AND LINKING VERBS

Linking verbs--the verb he and verbs of perception and sense such as appear, Jed , seem,
taste, or smell-join subjecL~ to words that supply more h1fom1ation about them. The verb
always agrees with tlie subject that comes before it, not tli.e descriptive words that follow it.
His concern is low wages.

H this sentence is reversed, its subject is plural.

Low wages are his concern.

EITHER . .. OR SENTENCES
When subjects follow pairs of conjunctions--not only . .. but also, neither ... nor, either ...
or- the verb agrees \vi.th the subject closest to it.
Neither the employees nor the president wants to lose customers.
Neither the president nor the employees want to lose customers.

PRONOUN SUBJECTS: ANYONE, EVERYONE, SOMEONE, EACH, EITHER,

ANY, NONE, SOME
The following indefinite pronouns are singular and take s ingular verbs:
another each everyone nothing
anybody either everything somebody
anyone every neither someone
anythi ng everybody nobody something
COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

The following indefinite pronouns can he singular or plural, depending on the context:
all more none
any most some

Soma competition is unavoidable.

Soma of our competitors are downsizing.

ANTECEDENTS OF THAT, WHICH, AND WHO AS SUBJECTS

The verh agrees with the word to which that, which, or who refers.

VERB AGREEMENT AND THE PHRASES ONE OF THE ..., ONE OF THE .. .
WHO, AND THE ONLY ONE OF THE ... WHO
Treat these construct.ions as follows:

one of the + pli1ral noun + sinbrular verb

Ona of the supervisors is tourin g the new facility.

one of the + plural noun + who (that, which) + plural verb

John is one of t he IT specialists who work for our company.

the only one of the + plural noun + who (that, which) + singular verh
John is tha only ona of our IT specialists who works part-time.

SUBJECT- VERB AGREEMENT EXERCISE

Underline the correct verh abrreement in each of the following sentences:

l. Pressure from investors (is, a.re) partly responsible for the plan to reduce annual costs.

2. Changes in this policy (is, a.re) not expected for at least another year.

3. More than forty acquisitions in two years (has, have) made Briarcorp a market leader.

4. The president, as well as the CEO and CFO, (anticipate, anticipates) major changes in
the year ahead.

5. Our current strategy of cutting staff in Western Canada and aggressively expanding in
the East (is, are) controversial.

6. Copies of the mam1al (is, an;) now availahle from accoun ting services.

7. Eighteen hundred dollars (is, are) a fair price ror the latest Pentium 4 model.

8. Neither the biggest hillhoards nor the most eye-catching print campaign (compensate,
cmnpensates) for a flawed strategy that (involve. involves) withdra\ving customer service.
9. Neither of the companies (favour.favours) a protracted se1ies of layoffs.
10. We have canvassed several fimis, hut Thornton, Walters, & Estes (i~, are) our first
choice for legal services.
11. Anyone who (requires, require) claiification of the new health henefits package should
contact h uman resources.
 APPEND I X B I GRA MMAR HAN DBOOK

12. He i$ the only one o r our sales representatives who (has, haw:) not completed the
course.

13. Norstar is one of the companies that (is, are) cautious about overexpansion.

14. The number of customers satisfied with our servi ces (L~. are) up sibrn ificantly this year.

15. Ninety per cent of our customers (is, art:) satisfied wi th our services.

Verb Tense Accuracy

Tense refe rs to the tlme of a ve rh's act.ion. Each tense-past, present, and future-has
simple, progressive, perfect, and perfect-progressive forms. These convey a range of time
relations, from the simple to the complex.

Tense For Actions Examples

Present (simple) happening now, occurring I walk; she walks

habitually, or true anytime

Past (simple) completed in the past 1. walked; she wal ked

Future (simple) that will occur 1. \viii walk; she \vill walk

Present Progressive already in progress, happening 1. am walking; she is

now, or still happenjng walking

Past Progressive in progress at a specific point I was walking; she was

in the past or that lasted fo r a walking
period in the past

Future Progressive of duration in the future or 1. \vill be walking; she will

occ.'tming over a period at a be walking
specific point in the future

Present Perfect begun in the past and continuing 1. have walked; she has
in the present or occurri ng walked
sometime in the pa..<;t

Past Perfect completed befo re others in 1. had walked; she had

the past walked

Future Perrect completed befo re others in I will have walked; she

the future will have walked

Present Perfect in progress recently or of 1. have heen walking; she

Prob>ressive duration starting in the past has been walking
and continui ng in the present

Past Perfect of duration completed before I had heen walki ng; she
Progressive others in the past had been walking

Future Perfect underway for a period of time 1. \viii have been walking;
Progressive before others in the future she will have been walking
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

SEQUENCING PAST TENSES

vVhen one past action occurred at the same time as another, use the simple past tense in
both instances.
When our server want down, we called for support immediately.

Use the past perfect tense (had + past participle) to show that one past action preceded
another.
He had left the office by the time we returned from our meeting.

SHIFTS IN VERB TENSE

Shifts in tense are necessary to ind icate changes in time frame; however, inconsistent or
unnecessary shifts in tense create confusing and illogical sentences.
!El When ha applied for a loan, we check his credit history. (past/present)
~ When he applied for a loan, we checked his credit history. (past/past)

Other Verb Problems

SPECULATING ABOUT THE FUTURE, MAKING RECOMMENDATIONS ,
OR EXPRESSING WISHES
The subjunctive is one of th ree "moods" in English. Formed by combining the base form
o r the verh wi.th I.he sentence\; suhject (work instead o r works; bt: instead of am/art:; wr.re
instead of was), it e>q1resses con ditions, requests, wishes, and speculation about future
action that is improbable o r unlikely. Once common hut now mostly restricted in its use
to formal English, it su rvives in certain well-known expressions: so be it, as it were.far be it
from me. However ungrammatical the suhj unctive sounds, use it in formal and m id-level
writing in the following instances:

when you use a clause hegin ning with if, as if, a.~ though, or unless to express specu-
lation rather than fact or descrihe hypothetical situations that are improhable or
unlikely:
- Subjunctive: If I wer e you, I woul d ask for assistance. (situation p urely
hypothet.ical- "J" cannot he "you")
- Subjunctive: If he were to work tonight, he would finish the report on time.
(speculation)
- Indicative: If he works tonight, he will finish the report on time. (fact rather than
speculation)
when you use a clause end ing in that to express recomm endations, wishes, or
demands:
- It is important that a company representative be [not is] present to greet the
dignitaries.

SPECULATING ABOUT THE PAST: APPROPRIATE USE OF COULD, WOULD

"Hindsight is 20/20," the saying goes, hut speculation about action in the past is often dif-
ficult to express. In cause-and-e rfect sentences of this kind, the conditional verbs could and
would belong in the independent clause descrihing conditions other than they are, not in the
dependent if/unless clause desuibing the hypothetical situation I.hat allows for that <1utcome.
 APPEND I X B I GRA MMAR H ANDBOOK

I!} If she would have telephoned me, I would have faxed the information.
~ If she had telephoned me, I would have faxed the information.

EMPHASIZING A MAIN VERB WITH DO

The helping verbs do, does, and did add positive emphasis to the main verbs they precede.
To be effective, this construction should be used spari ngly
Although there are no plans for expansion, the company does intend to modernize its
current facilities.

Do, does, and did are used to ask questions and are pai red with 111:ver or not to express
negative meanings.
Do you have experience in risk management?

John does not advocate the expensing of stock options.

Using Passive-Voice Constructions

The "voice" of a verb refers to whether the subject acts (active voice) or is acted upon (pas-
sive voice). The passive voice inverts standard subject+ verb + object word orde r so that
the original object (that receives the action) becomes the subject of the passive verb.

active voice: The financial officer approved the budget.

passive voice: The budget was approved by the financial officer.

passive voice: The budget was approved. (The prepositional phrase containing the
oribri..nal active-voice subject is often omitted.)

The passive voice is rormed in this way:

a form or the verb to be (am, i\ are, wa.\ were, be, bt:ing, been)

+ pa.st participle (for regular verbs, the base form o f the verb+ ed)
+ (by the agent of the action)

In h1.1siness writing, the active voice is preferred and should he used whenever pos-
sible. There are circumstances, however, in which the passive voice is rhetorically useful.

Here are some criteria for chosing between the active and passive voice:

Conciseness: The active voice is more vigorous, concise, and direct than the passive
voice. It is also less awkward and complicated. Th e higher word count of the passive
construction can, with overuse, make writing sound weak and lacklustre. ACTIVE:
011 Tuesday, ]inlLt submitted his artide to the mana!,ting editor. PASSIVE: On Tuesday, ]inlu'.~
article was submitted to the mana!,ring editor.
Emphasis and disclosure: The first element in a sentence has the most emphasis.
The active voice emphasizes t.he actor; t.he passive voice minimizes or conceals the
actOT and emphasizes the recipient of the action or tbe fact of the action itself. ACTIVE:
Fiona did not complete the report on time. PASSIVE: The report. wa.~ not completed rm time.
Readers someti mes interp ret th.is use of the passive voice as a sign of evasion or refusal
to ad mit responsibility, so exercise caution in eli minating the fi nal prepositional
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESU LTS

phrase. The passive voice is appropriate when the question o f who perfom1ed an
action is unim portant or irrelevant: Bids will be accepted until the ~71d of the week.
Tact and diplomacy: The active voice is di rect, often to the poillt o f hluntness,
playing up t.he personalities that fib'lm: in a refusal or denial. The passive voice mini-
mizes the unpleasantness of negative messages hy allowing for simple statements of
fact, seemi ngly free o f personal malice. ACTIVE: We cannot activate your account at tht:
present time. PASSIVE: Your account cannot be ctctivated at the present time.
Personal/Impersonal style: The passive voice minimizes or eli minates personal
pronouns in instances where overuse conveys the impression of egotism or per-
ceived personal conOkt. ACTIVE: ! created this program to reduce cost overruns. PASSIVE:
ThLs program was created to reduc:e cost ovenuns. Impersonal passive constructions-
heginning with it Ls- may sound an tiseptically official and hureaucratic: It is felt that
changes must be made.
Use the active voice when you need to do the following:

write concisely
reveal the doer of an action
d eliver positive or neutral news

Use the passive voice when you need to do the following:

emphasize an action , not who was responsible for it

de-emphasize or soften had news
take personalities (and their pronouns) out of the pictt.1re

Avoiding Logically Mismatched Subjects and Verbs

(Faulty Predication)
Suhjects and their verbs (pred icates) should agree in n umber and also make sense together.
l!l The purpose of the study assesses customer service preferences.
IB The study assesses customer service preferences.
IB The purpose of the study is to assess customer service preferences.
The first sentence L~ incorrect because a purpose cannot assess. Two other constructions
make for similarly awkward sentences:

is when, i.~ where

l!l A recession is when the economy experiences a temporary downturn.
IB A recession is a temporary economic downturn.
the reason ... is because

l!l The reason that we hired her is because she is creative.

f.lil The reason we hired her is that she is creative.

f.lil We hired her because she is creative.

Use either the reason or because, but not hoth , as this amou nts to saying the same thing
twice.
 APPEND I X B I GRA M M A R H A N DBOOK

Using Similar Phrasing for Items in a Series (Parallelism)

PARALLEL PHRASING
Use parallel grammatical fomis to express two or more similar ideas or ii.ems in a series.
Create halanced sentences hy matching single words with. single words (nouns with nouns,
verbs wit.h verhs), phrases wir.h phrases, and clauses with clauses. Parallel phrasing-like
other forms of consistency-improves readahility and serves as an aid to memory.
l!l We held a meeting, discussed the matter, and a strategy was devised.
8 We held a meeting, discussed the matter, and devised a strategy.

Add words necessary for logic and completeness. ln the case of I.he first sentence
helow, has . .. pursue does not correcr.ly form the past tense:
l!l The company has and will continue to pursue aggressive growth targets.
Id The company has pursued and will continue to pursue aggressive growth targets.
l!l Alban has interned and worked for Apex Communications.
Id Alban has interned with and worked for Apex Communications.
Balanced constructions can also be created using pai.rs of conjuncr.ions: either ... or,
neither . . . nor, both .. . and , not only .. . but also. Equivalent grammatical elements
must be used for each cmijunction.

l!l She is not only developing a marketing program but the campaign will also be
overseen by her.

Iii She is not only developing a marketing program but also overseeing the campaign .

PARALLELISM EXERCISE
Correct faulty parallel structure in 1.he following sentences:

1. Respondents were asked to not only rank the importance of the recycling materials
collected hut also their preferences in the placement of recycling hins.

2. Neither the chair of the committee wants to seek bankruptcy protection nor its
members.

3. Our intention is to develop a work plan, hire suitable people to staff the operation,
and working out a schedule.

4. The team was asked to investigate where the raw materials might be available, what
the price per unit tonne is, and what the cost to transport raw mar.erials might be.

5. The task force on workforce diversity is committed to promoting an awareness and

respect for cultural differences.

Making Comparisons Clear and Logical

(Sentences with Than or As)
Make su1Te sentences of comparison deliver the meanin.g you intend. Include all words
required to clarify the relationship between the items being compared. Check the correct-
ness of pronouns by mentally filling in implied words ancl phrases.
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

l!l Recent hires know more about instant messaging than their managers. (This
implies a faulty comparison o f instant messaging and managers.)

1!1 Recent hires know about instant messaging more than their managers do. (This
sentence compares recent h ires' knowledge wi.th managers' knowledge.)
13 Recent hires know more than their managers about instant messaging.

Changi ng a pronoun can alte r the meaning of a comparison sen tence:

Scott likes instant messaging as much as me. (Scott likes inst.ant messaging as much
as he likes the writer of the sentence.)

Scott like instant messaging as much as I. (Scott likes inst.ant messaging as much as
the writer o f th e sentence does.)

Using Pronouns with Precision

Pronouns sh ou ld he of the same case- functioning as suhjects or ohjects--and abrree in
numher an d gender with th e nou ns they replace.

Pronouns that replace subject words: I, you, he, she, it, one, we, they, who
Pronouns that replace object words: me,you, him, her, us, them, whom
Pronouns that indicate possession: mine, yours, his, hers, ours, thdrs, its
Pronouns that in dicate reflex:ive action: myself, yourself, himself, herself, itself, (}Urselves,
yourselves, themselves
Demonstrative pronouns: this, that, these, those

AVOIDING VAGUE REFERENCES

Make sure pronouns refer clearly to preceding nouns . Unless a pronoun clearly renames a
known antecedent, replace the pronoun with an appropriate noun . Indicate precisely wh o
is responsible for I.he action o f the sentence.
l!l On Bay Street, they make millions of dollars every week.
13 On Bay Street, stockbrokers/brokerage houses make millions of dollars every week.
l!I Bay Street brokers make mill ions of dollars every week.

l!l They say the economy is recovering.

l!I Financial analysts say the economy is recoveri ng.
This, that, and it must refer clearly to a readily apparent n oun or phrase:
l!l Management disagreed with workers over benefits, but it was never settled.
13 Management disagreed with workers over benefits, but the dispute was never resolved.

KNOWING WHEN TO USE I VERSUS ME

The old tahoo against using me i.n comh ination at the heginn ing of a senten ce-Tom and
me prt:pared the index- leads many writers to avoid me and use I even wh en the pronoun
is supposed to receive th e action of the sentence. When two or more people a re heing
referred to, detem1ine what pronoun case to use hy temporari ly removing the other name
with which the pronoun is paired:
 APPEND I X B I GRA MMAR HAN DBOOK ~

l!l The new clients met with Peter and I.

1!1 The new clients met with Peter and me.
Me is used after prepositions such as between, after, and 1:xcept.
Except for Lydia and me, everyone in the office has accountancy training.
Just !between you and me, the best time to invest is right now.

PRONOUN EXERCISE
Correct errors in pronoun usage ill the followillg sentences:
1. Between you and I, l think the accoun ts manager has some explain ing lo do.

2. The change lo two-factor authentication was suggested hy Giorgio and l.

3. ln China, they have a booming economy.

4. Milos and myself were responsihle for organizing the team-huilding retreat.
5. The advan tages of laun ch ing a clicks-and-mortar operation can out.weigh its dis
advantages, which requires further consideration.

Correcting Modifier Mishaps

Modifiers- consisting of single words o r entire phrases-refine th e meaning o f other
words in a sentence: adjectives modify nouns; adverhs modify verhs, adjectives, and other
adverbs. The key to using modifiers effectively is to make si.1re they relate clearly to the
word or words th ey modify. Sentences with modifier prohlems are at hest amhiguous and
at worst u nintentionally funny.

REINING IN MISPLACED MODIFIERS

The key to using modifiers without confusion is to keep the modifier as close as possible
to the word or words it descrihes. If in doubt about where the modifier belongs, ask your-
self, "Wh at goes with what?"
l!l She sent a report to the department that was inaccurate. (The modifier seems to
helong with department, not report.)
l!I She sent a report that was inaccurate to the department.
1!1 She sent an inaccurate report to the department.
Placement of single-word modifiers such as only, even, and hardly can greatly alter the
meaning of a sentence. Always posit.ion I.hem next to the word(s) they modify.
Only John asked for a 2 per cent salary increase. (n o one else asked)

John asked only for a 2 per cent salary increase. (he asked for noth ing else)
John asked for only a 2 per cent salary increase. (the salary increase was minimal)

\hen a modifier- especially a modifying phrase- seems to helong with the phrases that
come both hefore and after it, reposition the modifier so it refers f.o only one phrase.
l!l He told her on Friday she would receive PowerPoint t raining.
l!I On Friday, he told her she would receive PowerPoint training.
l!I He told her she would receive PowerPoint training on Friday.
COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

CORRECTING DANGLING MODIFIERS

Modifkrs are said t.o dangle when they fail to refer lo or make sense wit.h another word.
Usually dangling modifiers are phrases that contain participles-present participles (end-
ing in Ing), past participles (oft.en ending in ed), and infinitives (to+ base form of verb)-
but no subject. The easiest way to correct a dangling modifier is lo follow the formula
below and identify who or what performs t.he action of the initial participle phrase immedi-
ately after the phrase itself.

MODIFYING PHRASE: DOER/ACTOR+ COMPLETE VERB

Stating the int.ended subject clearly saves I.he reader the trouble of guessing the missing
word.

l!l Specializing in finance and international business, his credentials are impeccable.
[id Specializing in finance and international business, he has impeccable credentials.

An equally workable means of correction is to change the modifying phrase into a

dependent clause by (1) adding a subject, (2) adding a subordinating conjunction, and
(:1) making the verb complete.
l!l Reviewing the agenda, several errors came to her attention.
13 Reviewing the agenda, she noted several errors.
[id While she was reviewing the agenda, several errors came to her attention.

Dangling modifiers also sometimes result from unnecessary use of the passive voice. Use
the active voice in the clause following the modifier.

l!l To qualify for a refund, a sales receipt must be presented.

[id To qualify for a refund, you must present a sales receipt.

13 To qualify for a refund, please present a sales receipt.

MODIFIER EXERCISE
Correct misplaced and dangling modifiers in the following sentences:

l. To ensure the safe operation of your vehkles, regular inspections by at1thorized mech-
anics are recommended.

2. Aft.er establishing specifications, the alternatives were weighed by the report committee.

3. To work in quiet and comfort.able surroundings, the boardroom is the best place to go.

4. Committed to establishing a career, Anna almost applied for every job that was posted
on mons ter.ca.

5. Our company was fortunate to find new headquarters in the city with two parl<ing lots.

6. Our manager in fomied us ini July no one will go on vacation.

7. We ordered a printer for our office that was unreliable.

 APPEND I X B I GRAMMAR HAN DBOOK

Comma Usage
Use the rollowing chart to determine when you should use a comma and when you
shouldn't.

USE A COMMA DON'T USE A COMMA

after a dependent clause that begins a between a111 initial independent clause
sentence and a subsequent dependent clause

Altnough his business failed, he leamed a lot. He leamed a lot although his business failed.

before a dependent clause added to the

end of a sentence as an afterthought

We should meet next Thursday at 1:00 p.m,

If you can spare the time.

between coordinate modifiers that apply between modifiers that don't apply
equally to the same noun equally to the same noun

ArieI submitted a timely, thorough report. A dallclous Italian meal was enjoyed by the
conference participants.

before and after parenthetical before and after relative clauses

expressions, non-essential phrases, beginning with that
appositives, and interjections

The proposal, which took more than three The report that addressed the failure of the
months to develop, was enthusiastically Initiative did not assign blame for deficiencies.
recf!lved.

between items in a series of three or singly between a subject and its verb
more (the final comma before and is
optional)

St. John's, Halifax~) and Moncton are key The lecture will be held tomorrow.
markets for our products.

between two independent clauses joined between two independent clauses joined
by and, each with its own subject by and that share a subject

The Impact of reduced healthcare benefits on Rinaldo took responslblllty for the decline In
employee morale Is considerable, and wf! will sales and proposed a new marketing strategy.
need to discuss the longterm consequences
of this policy change at our next meeting.
COMM U N I CATI N G FOR RESU LTS

Other Forms of Punctuation

SEMICOLONS AND COLONS
A semicolon consists o f a period sitting atop a comma. Not surprisingly, it performs many
of the same functions as the period and comma. Like a period, a semicolon cam he used
to join independent clauses, especially when I.h e dai1ses are closely related or when a
conjunctive adverb (a word such as nevertheless, however, moreover, or Jurthemwre) links
independent clauses.
New ethics policies were adopted last year; they have been an unqualified success in
helping ou r company promote values of honesty and transparency.
The shipment of computers arrived today; however, it will be several days before the
computer system is operational.

Like a comma, a semicolon can he used to separate items in a series. It is especially useful
for separating item.~ in ca.~es where one or more of those items contain internal comma.~.
Our company plans to establish operations in the following centres: Vancouver, the larg-
est market for our sporting goods line; Calgary, the fastest growing market for our prod-
ucts; and Saskatoon, an emergent and underserved market.

A semicolon shouldn't he used to separate dependent and independen t clauses or to intro

duce a list.
A colon is a pimctuation mark that L~ primarily used to set off something to follow. Use it
after an independent clause (complete th ought) that introduces a list or a long quotation.
Our director of human resources is responsible for overseeing the following areas:
recruitment and hiring
employee benefits
payroll

If an introductory statement ends in a verh (are, is, were) or a preposition (in, by, at, to,
for), use no punctuation at all instead of a colon between the incomplete in troductory
statement and the text that follows.
When proofreading a document
allow for a "cooling period" before you begin to read,
allow sufficient time to read slowly and carefully, and
make several passes over thle document.

Colons are also used after salutations (Dear Mr. Evan.~:) and memo guide words (To:) and
between titles and subtitles (Technical Writing A- Z: A Common Sense Guide to Engineering
Reports and Theses).

APOSTROPHES
Apostrophes are used for two principal reasons: (1) to show possession or own ership and
(2) to signal omissions (in contract.ions-c:an't, it\ h11't, won't, they'll). Adding an apostro
phe in comhinat.ion withs to the end of most nouns (nouns that do not already end in s or
an s sound) communicates possession.

Joanne attended the manager's meeting. (a meeting led or con vened by one manager)
I accepted the committee's decision. (committee L~ a sinf,'Ular noun)
Marcia is a friend of John's. (in other words, Marcia is a friend of his)
 APPEND I X B I GRA M M A R H A N DBOOK

Keep in mlnd, though, that there are many except.ions to this hasic rule. When a noun
ends in an s ors sound, add only an apostrophe unless an extra syllable is needed for the
sake of pronunciation.
Joanne attended the managers' meeting. (th e meeting of two or more managers)
Two months' leave of absence seems generous. (months is a plural noun)

The business's customer complaints line was deluged with calls. (extra s added so the
word business can he pronounced more easily)

Add '.~to each noun o r two or more nouns when possession is lndividual.
Paul's and Suleman's businesses have grown substantially. (Paul and Suleman each
0W11 a husiness; they do not own the huslnesses jointly.)

Add '.~to the last noun when possession is jolnt or collective.

Irene and Madeline's business has been nominated for a prestigious award. (Irene and
Madeline own a business together.)

PERIODS
Peri ods me used at. the end of statemen ts, mild commands, polite requests (that elicit
actlons rather than verhal answers) and indirect questions (that report asked questions).

The restructuring of our central division led to a year of un precedented gains. (statement)
Return your completed application form to me by June 1. (mild command)

Will you please send me a copy of your mission statement. (polite request)
I asked if they wanted to upgrade their filing systems. (indirect question)

QUESTION MARKS
Quest.ion marks are used at the end of direct questions or after a question added to the
end of a sentence.
Have you considered telecommuting as a solution to your work-scheduling problems?
The downturn in the real estate market should help our business, shouldn't it?

PARENTHESES
Paren theses interrupt the senten ce structure, allowing you to add n on -essen tial informa
Lion or to gently introduce, almost in a whisper, an explanation, definition, reference, or
question. Whatever is enclosed within parentheses tends to he de-emphasized, very much
the opposite of dashes, which call au.ention to the set- off text. Two general rules apply:
never pmt a comma hefore an opening parenthesis, o n ly after the closing parmthesls;
and, if a complete sen tence in parentheses is part of anoth e r sen ten ce, do not add a period
to the sentence with in parentheses, hut add a question mark or exclamation mark if it
is required.

The company blamed a high incidence of flaming (the exchange of hostile on line mes-
sages) for the deterioration of employee morale.
His impressive results on the CA exam (he had ta ken a leave of absence in order to
devote himself to his studies) earned him accolades from his departmental manager.
COMM U N I C ATIN G FOR RESULTS

DASHES
Dashes are high-impact punctuation- emphasizing the text they set off- but their impact
is at its greatest only when they are used sparingly. Use dashes (1) to set off a list from an
introductory statement or (2) to emphasize information that interrupL~ a sentence. A gen
eral rule applies: don't use semicolons, commas, o r periods next to dashes.

His latest sales trip took him to the key markets in the Pacific Rim- Tokyo, Seoul, and
Taipei.

The practice of shouting-typing messages in all caps-offends many readers.

QUOTATION MARKS
Quotation marks are used primarily to enclose words copied exactly from a print source or
transcribed from overheard speech or conversation. They are also used to enclose the titles
of chapte rs or articles to give special treatment to words or letters, especially to unfamil-
iar technical terms or ironic words. Single quotation marks ('f) enclose quotations that
fall with in double quotation marks. When irL~erting a sentences punctuation adjacent to
quotation marks, place commas a nd peri ods inside the dosing quotation marks, ;.rnd place
colons and semicolons ouL~ide th e closing quotation marks.
"The advantage of online retail," the president said, "is the reduction of storefront
expenses.

The term authentication"has an ever-evolving definition given the development of new

systems and technologies.

The article entitled "Building a Team was among the best offerings in the most recent
issue of Business Monthly.

PUNCTUATION EXERCISE
Add c01Tect and appropriate punctuation to the following sentences:

1. Will you please send me a travel expenses claim fom1

2. The introduction of a fast efficient system of on line human resources management is a

major advance for our company, isnt it

3. Th e following individuals have been selected for the conference panel to be held in a
months time Preetasha Lai Hector Gonzalez and Vicki Nguyen

4. The departments leading sales reps are all friends of Johns

5. The secret to his success he s hared it with us over dinner last night is his commitment
to networking

6. Although the project ran ove r budget it was considered a creative breakthrough for
the marketing team

7. Have you heard of the famous Italian design house Prada

8. The way forward the consultant said L~ to maximize resources without strai n_ing them
 APPEND I X B I GRAMMAR H ANDBOOK

1. Independent clause. Independent clause.

2. Independent clause; closely related independent clause.
3. Independent clause dependent clause.
4. Independent clause, dependent clause that's an aftert hought.
5. Dependent clause, independent clause.
6. Independent clause: independent clause explaining or advising.
7. Independent clause: list of items separated by commas or semicolons

Internet Resources: Grammar, Style, and ESL Guides

The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation: This site provides an online English refer
ence guide including exercises and answer keys.
www.gra1mnarbook.com
Guide to Grammar and Style and The Online Granunar guide: These sites are hoth
from the writing program at Rutgers Universi ty
h ttp://andmmeda.rutgers.edu/-jlyncb!Writing
www.world-english.org!grammar.htm
Guide to Grammar and Writing: This interactive site features grammar lessons wi th
exercises that can he suhm itted for online correction.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar
Purdue Online Writing l ab (OWL): The exercise portion of this page includes E:>L-rdated
grammar topics.
http://owl.english.purdue.edu
Grammar Girl: Grammar Girl podcasL~ can be downloaded for free on iTunes.
https://itunes.apple.com/ca/podcast/grammar-girl-quick-dirtytips/
idl 734292297mt=2
CHAPTER 1
1. International Association of Business Communica-
tors. (2012). Comms expert offers international
insight at HRM. Retrieved from http://mariLime.iabc.
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2. Ace lo, P. (2012, January 25). The social CEO:
llow does a CEO manage to effectively run a huge
organization and still have time to tweet, blog and
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m Bachbcmt Magazint. Retrieved from http://www
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3. Deveau, D. (2012, February 13). What companies
must do to prepare for the future economy. Financial
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10. Coco, K. (2012, October 25). UN Global Compact:
Keynote address Lo the Association for 13usiness
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11. Ibid.
12. Canadian General Accountant. (2011, December).
Regulating sustainability reponing-ls a mandatory
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1 s. http://www.sme- rdi.gc.ca/eic/site/sme_fdi-prf_ pme
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18. Tossell, I. (2011, February 20). Don Tapscott:
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20. Friedman, p. 216.
21 . Facebook. (201.3). About Facebook. Retrieved from
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for Web J.O, says llooz&Co. Computer Weekly.com.
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24. Ibid.
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26. Goodwin, B.
27. lpsos-Reid Corporation. (2012). The lpsos Canadian
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31. Williams, D. K. (201.3, January 4). 10 mobile apps
to make your business more productive in 201J.
Forbes.com. Retrieved from http://www.forbes.com}
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32. Rot.hi well,]. D. (1998). In mixed company: Small group
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35. American Association for the Advancement of
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NOTES 11
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37. DeVito,j. A. (2008). Interpersonal messages: Communi-
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38. Ibid .
39. Keyton,]. (2011). Communication and Organizational
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45. Hall, E. T (1959). The .1ilent language. New York:
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46. Ekman, P., &: Friesen, W (1975). Unmasking the face:
A guidt: to rewgnizing emotions in facial expressions.
Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall.
47. Partly based on Johnson, M. (2003, Winter). The
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dian Centre for Ethics & Corporate Policy. Retrieved
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SO. Jia, K. (2010, July 28). Building cross~Luh.ural com-
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51. Hall, E. T. (1976). Beyond r:ulturt:. New York:
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 NOTES
52. llofstede, G. (2001). Culture'.Honsequcnces: Comparing
values, behaviors, in.~titutions, and organization.~ acros.~
nations, 2nd ed. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
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updated- terms-of-se rvice-based-on-your-feedback#
57. CBC News. (2013, January 22). lluman Resources
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CHAPTER 2
1. Folk , S. (2011, May 16). Want to advance your
c;1reer? Improve your business English . 1'inancial
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careers/Want+advance+your+career+l mprove+your+
business+English/4791013/sto ry.html
2. Boothby, K. ( 2012 , October 12). Business
communication skills have declined in email era.
Post.media News-Canada.com. Retneved from http://
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have+dedined+email/7392043 /story.ht,ml
3. Driskill, L. (1989). Underst:mdin g the writing con-
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5. Colen, K., &: Petelin, R. (2004). Challenges tn col-
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6. Ede, L., &: Lunsford, A. A. (2001). Collabora1ion and
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19. Onruhia, J., & Engel, A. (2009). Strategies fOT
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20. Lowry, P. B., Cunis, A., &: Lowry, M. R. (2004). Build-
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21 . Onruhia &: Engel.
22. Guidelines for group critique. (n.d.) Retrieved from
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23. Barrell, T. (2003). Tentative tips for better crits.
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CHAPTER 3
1. Asprey, M. (2001). Plain language frir lawyer~.
Leichhardl, NSW: Federation Press, p. 62.
2. Canadian Bankers Association. (2000). Plain lanbruage
mortgage documents CBA commitment. Retrieved
from http://www.scotiabank.com/c a/common/pdrt
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cha_commitlment.pdf
3. Stinson, S. (2003, June 17). Software takes the "bull"
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4. Du haime, L. (2 011). Canadian defamation law.
ReLrieved from http://www.d uhaime.org/ca-defam.htm
5. Oher, S., Zhao, J. ]., Davis, R., N: Alexander, M. W
(1999). Telling it like it is: The use or certainty in
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Communication, .36(3), 280.
CHAPTER 4
1. Ovsey, D. (2012, August 7). Spin may he dead
hut are husiness leaders using hones! commun ica-
1ion effectively? financial Post C-Suite. Retrieved
from http ://business. financial post.com/2012/08/0 71
spin-may-he-dead-b u ta re -h us iness-leade rs-using
-honest-communication-effectively/
2. Wiens, K. (2012, July 20). 1 won't hire people who
use poor grammar. Heres why (llRB Blog Network].
NOTES
Retrieved from http://blogs.hbr.org/2012/07/i -wont
-hire-people-who-use-pool
3. Guffey, M. E. (200 I). Bu..~iness communication: Proet:s.~
& pmduct ('.lrd Canadian ed.). Scarhorough, ON:
Nelson Thompson Leaming, p. 151.
CHAPTER 5
1. McDougall, M. (2012, Aub'llst 11). Prioritizing internal
communications. Canadian HR R'I'orter, 25(14), 22.
2. lb1d.
3. Houpt, S. (2011, September 13). Workplace e mail:
Whats appropriate and whats not. The Glr1bt: and
Mail. Retrieved from http://www.theglobeandmail
. co m /re po rt -onhusi ne ss/ car eers/ career-ad vi eel
workplacee-mail-whats-appropriate-and-whats-nol/
artkle594205/
4. Silliker, A. (20 11 , Septemher 12). Whole Foods plays
it cool. Canadian HR Reporter, 24(15), 1-2.
s. Lyons, S., N: Marquess, M. (2012, July 2). Good
Technolob'Y survey reveals Americans are working
more, but on their own schedule. Retrieved from http://
wwwl .good.com/news/press-releas es/current pres
-releases/16 I 009045.html
6. Purcell, K. (2011, August 9). Search and email still
top the list of most popular online activities. Pew
lnt.emel. Retrieved from http://www.pewi nternet.orw
Reports/2011 /Search-and-email .aspx
7. lpsos Re id. (20 12). The Ipsos Reid Canadian inter@
ctfve Reid report: 2012 fact guide, p. 1. ReLrieved
from http://www.ipsos.ca/com mon/dl/pd rt
lpsos_l nteractive ReidReport_FactGu1de_20 12
.pdf
a. Yahoo! finance. (2013, September 18). J2 Global
survey uncovers the work habits of millennials.
Retrieved from http://finan ce.yahoo.com/news/
j 2-global-r-survey-uncovers-140000297.htm1
CHAPTER 6
1. Breslin, R., N: Reddin, C. (2004, Novemher/Decemher).
How leaders can communicate to build trust. Ivey Bu..~i
ness Jrrurnal. Retrieved from httpl/iveybusinessjournal
.co mlto pi cs/the-organ iza ti on/how-leaders can
-communicate to-build-trust#. Um8on_IJOAg
 NOTES
CHAPTER 7
1. Silhker, A. (2013, March 11). ls there a better way to
close a store? Canadian HR Reporter, 26(5), I , 9. Reprintd
hy pemi ission of Canadian HR Reporter. Copyright
Thomson Reuters Canada Lt.cl., 2011, Toronto, Ontario.
1-800-187-5164. Weh:www. hm:poner.com
2. Amn.aya-Finlayson,].. & Taylor, C. {201J, April 8).
Best Buy, future Shop closures difficult. Canadian HR
Report, 26(7), 15.
3. Silliker, A.
... lh1d.
s. Timmerman, P. D., &: Harrison , W. ( 2005). The
discretion ary use of electronic media: Four consid-
erations for bad news bearers. journal nf Business
Communication, 42, 179-389.
6. Jansen , E, &: Janssen, D. (201.1). Errects of directness
in ha<l news e-mail s and voice mai ls. journal <if
Business Communication, 50(4), 162-.182.
7. Jansen, f. , &: Janssen, D. (201 l ). Explanation first:
A case for presenting explanations hefore decisions
in Dutch bad news messages. jcrurnal of Business and
Technical Communication, 25, 36-67.
8. Janssen , D. (2013, October 25). Apologies m bad
news messages. 78th Annual International Associa-
uon for Business Communicauon Convenuon, New
O rl eans, LA.
9. Durando, J. (2010, June 1). BPs Tony I Iayward : "I'd
like my lire hack." IJSA Today. Retri.eve<l from http://
co n tent. usatoday.com/com mun i ties/;reen house/
post/20 l 0/06/hp-tony-hayward-apology/1
CHAPTER 8
1. ftscher, N .-R. (2012, August 1). How to wnte per-
suasive press releases: Writing a fruitful pres.~ release
requires some flnesse- and vigilant editing. The
Toronto 5tar. Retrieved from hup://www.thestar.com/
husint:ss/s mall_husiness/ffii.lrketing_sales /2012/08/01/
how_to_write_persuasive_press_releuses. ht.ml
CHAPTER 9
1. n .a. ( 2011 , November 21 ). How 1s HR us ing social
media? Canadian HR &porter. 24(20), 11-15. Reprinted
by permission of Canadian HR Re1'ortcr. Copyright
Thomson Reuters Canada Ltd., 2011, Toronto,
Ontario. 1-800 187 5164. Weh:www. hrreponer.com
2. Ibid.
3. Canadian 1111.erprofessional Health Collaborative.
(2010). A national interprofessional competenry
Jramew11rl1. ReLri eved from http://www.cihc:.ca/files/
CIHC_lPCom petenc ies_Feb 12 10. pd f; Treasu ry
Board o r Canada Secretariat. (2011, Decemher 2).
Competencies. Retrieved from http://www.tbs Set
.gc.ca/taVcomp-eng.asp
4. University of Briush Columbia. (n.d.). Self-assessment
and goal setting document for prohationary
employees. Retrieved from http://www.hr.ubc.ca/
administrators/files/PROBATI ONARY- Performance
-Review-Plan-Self-Assessment.pdf; Treasury Board of
Canada Secreta riat. (2004). Competency profile ror
supervisors. Retrieved rrom htt.p://www.tbs-sct.gc.ca/
gui/cmgs-eng.asp#learni ng_support
s. Citizenship an<l l mmigration Canada. (n. d .). employ
ment in Canada. Retrieved from http://integrat ion-net
.ca/coa-oce/englis h/pdf/04employment.pdf
6. Newton, Aisha. (2013). Can Pinterest help you fin<l
a job? Monster.ca. Retrieved from http://c:ireer-advice
.monster.ca!Job-hunt-strategy/professional-networkin'e/
find-a-jpb through pmterest--ca/anicle.aspx
7. Sundheim, K. (2011 , December 4). Can linkedln
survive the soda] media bubble? Forhes.t'Om. Retrieved
from http://www.forbes.com/sit.es/ken sundheim/201.l/
12/04/can-linkedin-survive-the-social-med ia-buhble/
8. Cheston, A. (2012, May 11). Recruiters sa y: Avoid
linkedln at your peril. Forbes.com. Retrieved from
http://www. forbes.com/sites/work-in-progr ess/2012/
05/1 1/recruiters-say-avoid-linkedin-at-your-periV
9. Harvard Extension School. (2013 , August 2).
Optimizing your lmkedin profile. Harvard Exten.~on
Tlub. Retrieved from http://www.extension .harvard
.ed u/h ub/b log/ext ension - blog/optim izi n g- you r
-linked in-profile-check list
10. lhid .
11. Ibid .
12. Adams,$. (2012, November JO). 4 ways to use T\vitter
to fi.nd a job. Forhes.com. Retrieved from http://www
.forbes.com/sites/s usanadams/2012111/.30/4-ways Lo
-use-twitteHo find-a-Joh/
13. Kingston , C. ( 2011, April 10). How to use Twitter
for busmess an<l marketing. Retrieved fro m http://

www.socialmediaexaminer.com/how- to-use-twitteT
-for-business-and-marketing!
14. Ibid.
15. Zappe,J. (2009, Feb. 10). Johvite's new tools may he
game-changers for social network recruiters. ere.net.
Retrieved from www.ere.net/2009/02/10/johvites-new
Loo ls- may he game changers-for-social-network
-recruiting!
16. Iloston College. (2011, October 11). Resumes, coveT
letters, & Linkedln profiles. Iloston College Caret:T
Center. Retrieved from http://www.hc.edu/content/
hdo ffices/caree rs/johs/resu mes. h tm1
17. Cotterill, S. j. (2007). What is an ePortfolio? ePonfo-
lios 2007 Conrerence. Maastrkht, The Netherlands:
University of British Columbia. (2010, AL1gust 26).
What is it? ePo rtfol ios. Retrieved from http://eleam-
ing.uhc.ca/toolkit/eportfolios/; Leam ing Technologies
for Medical Science. (2011, January 7). What is an
ePo i-tfolio? ePonfolios. Re tri eved from http://www
.epo rt fo lios.ac.u k/defin it Ion
18. Na tional Research Council of Canada. (2012,
August 7). llow to prepare for behavioural competenl)'
interview questions. Retrieved from http://www.nrc
-cnrc.gc.ca/englcareers/prep_hehavioural.html
19. Alberta Learning Information Service. (n.d.). Ile
prepared for behaviour descnptive interviews-
Usmg the STARS technique. Retrieved from http://alis
.alhena.ca/ep/eps/tips/tips.html?EK l 61
CHAPTER 10
1. Jones, 0 . (2010, December 10). TD breaks social media
ground in Canada!; dull hank sector. IR Web report.
Retrieved from http://irwehreport.com/20101220/
td-hanksocial-media annual- report/
2. Rlldin, A. (2013, June 10). You've come a long way
baby-Th e bori ng old co rporate report goes social.
The Iluffington Post. Retrieved rrom http://www
. h uffi ng to n post.com/april- rud i 11/youve a co me-a
-long way-h_h_.1 416249.htm l
3 . TL1 ft.e , E. R. 1981. The visual display of quantitative
informatlrm. Chesh ire, CT: Graphics Press, p. 51.
4 . Insurance Iloard of Canada. (2009). Incident and
accident reporting. Retrieved from http://www.ihc.ca/
en/husiness_ins urance/risk_management/incident_
and_accident_reporting.asp
NOTES a:
CHAPTER 11
1. Graphic Designers of Canada. (2010). Study dem-
onstrates Canadian husines.ses using design increase
success, reduce risk . Retrieved from hup://www.gdc
.net/business/
2. Ibid.
CHAPTER 12
1. Scarrow, K. (201.1, July 21). Want to improve your
pitch? Here's how. The Globe and Mail . Retrieved from
http://www.thegloheandmai l.com/reporton-husiness/
small-business/sh-growth/th e-challenge/2013 0716
th echa ll engepilc h - 1080p5000khpscopymp4/
aniclel.1319914/
2. Ibid.
3. Paglmi ni, R. (n.d.). How to wri te an elt:va1o r speech.
Retrieved from h 11 p://www.husinessk n owh ow.co m/
money/elevator. htm
4. Moldinado, P. (2009, Ju ne 4). llow Lo design an
effective presentatio n. Retrieved from http://www
.youtuhe.com/watch?v.l IJgeOAUOg
5. lhid.
6. lhid.
7. Tufte, E. R. (2003). The cognitive style cif PowcrPmnt.
Retrieved from http://users.ha.uth.gr/tgdlpt0501/09/
Tufte.pdf
8. Hooker, 0 . (2011, March 25). Five simple
steps to a great Prezi. Prcz1 Manual Cheatshut.~.
Retrieved from https://prezi.zendesk .com/entries/
2.1449898-Five Simple SU:ps-to agreat- prezi
9. Nienow, S. (2012, December 12). Presenter
in formation and tips (Illog post] . Retrieved from
http://www. pee ha kucha .orglci ties/hemidj i/hlogs/
presenter information-a 11 cl tips
CHAPTER 13
1. Dobso n, S. (2012, Seplemher 24). Brewin g up
engagement with social media. Canadian IIR Reporter,
2.5(16), 22.
2 . Kaplan, A. M., & ll aen lein, M. (2010). Users of the
world, un ite! The challenges and opportunities of
social media. Businrss llrirtwns, 5.3, 60.
3. Ibid.
 NOTES
4 . lhid., 61.
5. !hid., 60.
6. Miller, V. (2011). Understanding digital culture.
Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Puhlications Ltd., p. 87.
7. Hanna, R., Rohm, A., & Crittenden, V L. (2011).
We're all connected: The power of the social media
ecosystem. Business !Ioriwns, .54, 268-269.
8. Jenkins, H., with Purushot.ma, R., Weigel, M.,
Clin ton, K., and Robison, A .]. (2006) Confronting the
chall enges of participatory culture: Media education for
the 2 lst century. Chicago: The MacAnh ur Foundation,
p. 8. Retrieved from http://mitpress.mit.edu/sites/
defau lt/fil es/titles/free_d ownload/9 7802 6251362.1
Con&onting_the_Challenges.pdf
9. !hid., p. J.
10. !hid., p. 4.
11. Kaplan&: Haenlein, p. 61.
12. Short,]., Williams, E., &: Ch ristie, B. (1976). Th e
social psychology o f telecommunications. Hoboken,
NJ: Wiley; Kaplan&: Haenlein, p. 61.
13. Parry, D. (2008). Twi tt.er for academia. Retrieved from
h ttp ://academh ac k. outsi der.h etext. co m/home/2 0 08/
twitter-for-academia; Young,]. (2008) Forget e- mail:
New messaging service has students and professors
atwitter. The Chronicle of Higher Education, 54(25).
Retrieved from http://chronic le.com/free/v54/
i25/25a01501.hr.m
14. Daft, R. L., & Lengel, R. H. (1986). Organizational
infonnar.ion requirements, media richness, and struc
tural desib'Tl. Management Science, .l2(5), 5.54-.571.
15. Dunlap,]., & Lowenthal, P. (2009). Tweeting the night
away: Using Twitter to enhance social presence.journal
of Information Systems Education, 20(2). Retrieved from
h ttp ://pat ri ck lowen th al .corn/pu h li ca ti ons/Usin g_
Twitter_to_Enhance_Social_Presence.pdf
16. Kaplan&: Haenlein, p. 62.
17. Hemley, D. (2013,June 25). 26 tips to create a strong
social media content strategy Social Media Examiner.
Retrieved from http://www.socialmed iaexam in er
.com/26- tips-tocreal.e astrong-social-media-conr.ent
-strategy/
18. Bh argava, R. (2011, October 28). 9 ways top
brands use social media for hetter customer service.
Massable.com. Retrieved from http://mash ahle
.com/2011/10/28/social-customer-service-brands/
19. Ibid.
20. Arrhutina, D. (2012, June 4). Social recognition .
Canadian HR Reporter, 2.5(11), 15.
21. !hid .
22. Kaplan&: Haenlein, p. 66.
23. !hid., p. 6.3.
24. Dwyer, P. (2007). Building trust with corporate hlogs.
ICWSM 2007 Conference. Retrieved from http://
kwsm .orglpapers/2--Dwyer.pd f
25. Dngan, K. (2004). Emerging corporate hlog models.
Retrieved from h tr.p://prblog.typepad.com/stratet.ic_
puhlic_relation/2004/11/emergi ngcorpor.html
26. Kolari, P., et al. (2007). On the structure, properties
and utility of in ternal corporate hlogs. ICWSM 2007
Conferen ce. Retrieved from http://ehiquity.umhc.
ed u/_Ii le_di rectory_/papers/141. pdf
27. Johne, M. (2011, October 21). Firing on all cylinders
with social media. The Globe and Mail, p. Bl '5.
28. Lio nel Mench aca, ql.lot.ed hy Lee Oden . (2011).
Big business blogging, the right way, Intel #ISMP.
Retrieved from http://www.t.oprankblog.com/2011/07I
big-husiness-hlogging dell
29. Pearson, M. (2011, October 27). Three ways to
make the most of Linkedln. The Globe and Mail.
Retrieved from h t.tp://www.th egloheandm ail. com/
re port-on-h us in ess/sm all -bus in ess/s b-digita lib iz
-categories-technolobry/1.h ree-ways-to-make- the-most
-o f-lin kedin/arr.icle4.151177/; n.a. (2011, April 25).
Ten ways to get more out of Linkedln. Thr. Globe and
Mail. Retrieved from http://www.th egloheandmail
.com/report-on-b usiness/small -business/sh-tools/
ten-ways-to-get-more-out-o f-linkedin!article5768.58/
30. Hartley, M. (2011, June 16). Linkedln helping com-
panies recruit "the rock stars." Natirmal Post, p. FP14.
31. n.a., Ten ways to get more out of Lin ked In.
32. lhid.
33. Siliker, A. (2011, Septemher 26). Recruiters connect
via Unked ln. Canadian HR Reporter, 24 (16), p. 2.
34. lhid.
35. n.a. (2011, Novemher 21). How is HR using social
media? Canadian HR Reporter, 24(20), p. 15. Reprinted
by pemi is.<;ion of Canadian HR Reportt:r. Copyright
Thomson Reuters Canada Ltd., 2011, Toronto,
On tario. 1-800-387-5164. Weh:www.hrreport.er.com
36. Twi tte r, Inc. (201.3). Write good Tweets: Learn how
to make 140 characters sing. Retrieved from https://
business.twitter.com/write-good-tweets
 NOTES

37. lhid. 52. lhid . p. 1.

38. lpsos. (14 July 2011). Canada's love affair with 53. n.a. (2009, November 21). Depressed woman loses
online social networking continues. News and Polls. benefits over Facehook photos. CBC News Montreal.
Retrieved from www. ipsos-n a.com/news-po 11 s/ Retrieved from http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/
pressrelease.aspx?id 5286. m on t rea II depressed-wo ma n-1oses-hen dits-ove r
39. Pew Research Center. Social networking use. Retrieved -face book-photos-1.86184J
from http ://www. pewresearch. org!data-trend/ 54. Weinreh, A. (2011, September 17). Toronto firefighters
media-and -technology/social-networking-use/ fired over improper tweets. Digital journal. Retrieved
40. Cornscore. (2012). Canada: Digital future in focus. from http://digitaljoumal.com/article/:1.58.5 l 4, social
Retrieved from h ttp://www.slidesha re.net/ media use
supernovasnidios/2012-canada-digital-future-in-focus 55. Ramachandran, V (2013, July 28). l in 4 young
41. !hid. adu lts regret social media posts, survey says.
42. Zickuhr, K., & Madden , M. (6 June 2012). OldeT Mashahle.com. Retrieved from http://mashahle
adults and Internet use. Pew Research Centers Internet .com/201.3/07 /28/social-med la-regrets-survey
& American Life Project, 6 June 2012. Retrieved from 56. McQ uigge, M. (2012, March 28). Company wants
http://www.pewi nternet.org/Reports/201210 lde r your Facebook password? Just say no. The Globe and
-adults-and-intemet-use.aspx. Mail, p. Bl9.
43. Financial Executives Research Foundation. (2011, 57. Dohson, S. (20L3, February 25). We're live tweeting
Septemher). Social media risks and rewards, p. 5. from the HR firing session! Canadian HR Reporter,
Retrieved from http://www.grantthomton.com/-/ 26(4). 11.
media/co nten t page-fil es/ad visory/pdfs/2011/ADV 58. n.a. (2011, Fehruary 1). Kenneth Cole Eb'YPt tweets
-social-media-survey.ashx ignite firestorm. CNN Money. Retrieved from http://
44. Scarrow, K. (2012, September 27). One in five money.cnn .com/2011/02/01/news/companies/
use social media for customer service: Survey. KennethCole_t\vitt.er/
The Globe and Mail. Retrieved from http://www 59. Thaeler, J. (2007, November 26) Face book
. the gloheandmail. com/report-on-husiness/small marketing stunt hacklires. Retrieved from http:!!
-husiness/sh-tools/small-business-briefinglone-in www.marketingpilgrim.com/2007 /11/faceboo k
-ftve-use-social-media-ror-customer-service-survey/ -marketing-stunt-hackftres.htm l
artic le4569905/ 60. Seave. A. Quly 22, 2013). How social media moves
45. Krashinsky, S. (2011, Ju ly 10). 21 award -winning consumers from 'sharing' to 'purchase'. Forbes.com.
Canadian ads and marketing campaigns. The Globe Retrieved from www.forbes.com/sit.es/avaseave/
and Mail. Retrieved from http:l/www.theglobeandmail 20 lJ/0 7/22/how-social-media-rnove s-consumers
.corn/report-on-business/industry-news/marketing/ -from-sharing-to-purchase/
ca nad ian-wi nn ers-at-the -can nes-li on s-ad-festivaV 61. Deckers, E., & Lacy, K. (2011, September 5). Ten tools
artic le13124965/ to use for social media measurement. The Globe and
46. The Shorty Awards. Retrieved from http://industry Mail. Retrieved from http://www.thegloheandmail.
.shortyawards.com/\vinners/5th_ann ual com/report-on business/sm a 11-business/sb-too 1s/
47. Financial Executives Research Foundation, p. 1. ten -too ls-to-use -for-soci a I-med ia-m.easu rem e nt/
48. !hid. article600410/
49. Neilsen, C. (2012, March 31). The double-edged 62. Kite , S. (2011, June 1). Social CRM's a tough.
sword of social media. Panel discussion, Faculty of worthy goal. American Banlu:r Bank Technology News.
Business, Ryerson University. Retrieved from http://www.americanbanker.com/
50. Financial Executives Research Foundation, p. 7. htn/2 4_6/social-crm-tough-worthy-goal- l. 038025- 1
51. !hid . .html?zkPrintable l&'nopagination l
a/m1, 81, 419 amon'l,{mnongst, 481 authorsh ip, 26, 80
abbreviations, 499; instant messaging, among/between, 48.l averse/adver.1e, 482
77, 148 amou11r/num1ier, 481 awards and honours, resum~s and, 2 78
above, 103 ampersand, 481
abstracts, .181 amplifiers, 7 background: fomial reports and, .397;
academic degrees and courses, analogies, 79 infornial reports and, 344, 3.'iO, 362;
capitalizarion and, 503 and, 102 proposals and, 379
accenting, 17 announcemems, J.81, 203 hack matter: fornial reports and,
accepc/exceerJexpect, 479 Antaya-Finlayson, Janice, 202 399-402; proposals and, .181
acmmpanied by/accompanied with, 4 79 anti-conuption, l'l baclnvardlbachward.1, 482
accuracy, 62 anti-globalization movement, 6 bad/!Jadly, 482
Aceto, David, 466 apologies, 92, 213-15, 219 had news messages: apologies nn,
Acer.o, Peter, 2, 9 Apology Act, 214 213-1.5; buffers and, 208, 209, 215;
acronyms, 77, 499-500 apostrophes, 520-21 employees and, 223- 25; goals of,
active listening, 21-22, 65 appeals: defined, 236; to emotion, 236- 202-3; tone and, 203-4; types of,
adaptors, 20 37; to ethics, 237- 38; persuasive, 215-2 7; w1iti11g plans for, 205-1.5
addresses: abbreviations, 499; envelopes 216-38; to reason, 236 Barrett, Teny, M
and, 191; inside let.ter, 187; numbers appendices: fonnal reports and, 399; Bartz, Carol, 224
and, 501; return, 187 infonnal reports and, 321, 350; be, 84
ad hoc, 75 proposals and, 382 because of/due to, 48.5
adjusnnent, claim, 16.1, 165, 174 Apple, 7 because/since, 494
advir.eladvL1e, 4 79 applications (apps), 10; for writing and Beck, Ulrich, 5
aerospace industry, 7- 8 editing, l 07 behaviours, non-verhal, 17, 31
affect displays, 20 appositives, 1()4 BELF (Business English as Lin'l,Ua
affe.ccle[fw, 479-80 appraL1elaperise, 481 Franca), 27
against, 103 Apps 4 Climate Action, 8 Bell, Colin, 42.5
agendas, meeting, 448, 449 articles (grammatical), 83 liesidellmides, 482
ages, num hers and, 501 artificial intelligence (Al), 9 Best Buy, 202. 465
aAAravate/irrttate, 480 aslllhe, 481 /Jeiween/amon'l,, 481
agree tola'l,l'ee with, 480 as re'l,ard.1/re'l,ard.1/in regard tnlin re'l,ard.1 between you and me/between you and I,
ain't, 480 to, 489 482
Alanis Business Academy, "How to as.mre/en.mre/in.mre, 481 bie1111iallbimmual/.1e111t-annual, 482
Convey Bad News in Your Writing," 2.l .l as to, 482 Bitzer, Ll oyd, 48
all caps, 107 at, 103 /Ji-weelilylsemi-weekly, 482
a !or/allot/lots, 480 attachmenc.~: e-mails and , 140; infomial BlackBeny, 148
alternative/alternate, 480 reporL<; and, .) 50 hlogs, 466
a.m.IA.M.lp.m.IP.M., 480 attention line, 188 body: fo1111al reports and, 397-98;
amhi'l,Uity, n, 78-79 audience: adaptation, .'i2; formal reports informal report~ and, .1:n, :n4, 3.50;
American Express, 2:3 7 and, 390; presentations and, 426-27; letters and, 189, 288; memos and,
American Psychological Association prima1y, 53; profile and analysis of, 131; presentations and, 428-29; body
(APA style), .382, 400-40.l; sample 51-53; sales messages and, 251; lan'l,Uage (kinesics), 19-20
f'onnal report in, 40.3-18 secondary, 53 boldface, 129, 131

Bombardier, 8
Boolean logic, 388
Booz & Company, 9
both/each, 482-8:~
Bradbury, Danny, "Effective Social Media
Analytics," 475
hrain drain, 4
hrainstmrning, 55-.56
bring/take, 483
hullers, 208, 209, 215, 220
hullets: capitalization and , 504; lists
and, 132; memos and, 129
business repmts, :HO; ue al10 f011nal
reports; infon11al reporL~; reports
but, J.02
huzzwords, 75
by, J.03
bypassing, 15
Canad a GMse, 465
Canadian Advanced Technology
Alliance (C.ATA), SUCCESS, 3
Canadian Bankers Association (CllA), 72
Canadian Business for Social
Respons ibili ty, ti
CanadianCareers.com, 269
Canadian Cha1ter of Righrs and
Freedoms, 34
Canadian Human RighL~ Commission
(CHRC), 90- 91
Canadian Institute of Diversity and
Incl usion, 27
Canadian Radio-televisit1n and
Telecommunications Commission
(CRTC), J.00
can/may, 483
capiw.l/capitol, 483
capitalization, 133, 139, .502- 4
CareerBuilder.com, 297
career centres, 2 70
career goals, 2M-n7
career resources, on li ne, 2ti9
Cauchon, Maitin, 443
cause-and -effect development, 57
Cawley, joel, 8
Center for Media & Social Lmpact, 463
Center for Plain Language, 7.1
Centre for Social Innovation (CSI), 5
CEO/CFO/CIO/COO!CTO, 483
CEOs, hlogging and, 4M
Certified (;eneral Accountants
Associalf:ion of Canada, 6
chair/chai1per.1mt!chairman, 483
chalkboards, 43 1
channel, .L 3; harri.ers, L5; benefits of
different, 55; informal and fomial, 22;
overload, 14
Charbonneau, Sebastien, 4fi2
charts: bar, .12.5-27, .1 31; deviation bar,
325; divided bar, 325, 327; now, 329,
:n1; Gantt, 329; organizational, :no,
3.31; pie, .324, ."B l; segmented bar,
325
Cheek, Annette, 73
"Ch1is Brogan on Social Media Starter
Tips to Grow Your Business," 469
chronemics, 19
chronological development, 58
chunking, 133
ClllC, p1ivacy hreach ar., 34
CIBC Mellnn, 2M
citations, parenthetical in-text, 399,
400, 401- 2
ciiel.1ighcl.1iie, 483, 494
claim adj ustment, 174
claims, 16.1 -n.5; refusing, 217-18;
requests, 242-46; responses, 172- 74
clarity: repons and , 311; sentences and ,
.L 0.5
clauses, HH ; dependent (suhordinar.e),
10.1., J.02, .l.05, 109, 2.1.0; embedded,
105; independel1t, .IO J.; reducing, 85;
relarive, 104; that/which/who, 85
cliches, 7n
closing: complimenta1y, 140, 189, 505,
506; had news messages and , 204,
207; gnnd\vi ll, 21 1-12
clor.h ing, as non-verhal communication,
20, 296- 97, 44.L
cluste1i ng, 56
cognir.ive dissonance, 22
coherence, 62, 118; paragraphs and,
118- 19
cold calls, 270
Cnle, Kenneth , 474
collabnratinn, 8; writing and, n:~-M
collectivism, versus individualism, 29
collnquialisms, 32
colons, 132, .520
commas, 100, 519
comma splice, 113
Cmmnon Errors in English (website),
505
commun icarinn: advancing
technnlogies, 8-9; areas nf research,
11; harriers, 14- 15; charact.e1istics
of, .L2, 50; cnntexrs, 15- J.6; cross.
cultural (interculr.ural), 11, ln,
I N DEX
27- .32, .33- 34, 28; definition, 8,
10; environmenr.al, .L l; external, 21;
as field of study, ll-12; in glnhal
ecnnmny, 27; health, 11; im pnrtance
nf, 2-3; intergroup, 11; in temal, 21,
128; interpersnnal, .LL, .l 5- 16, 270;
law, J l; mass, U, .L o; non -verhal,
lb-20, 29n; organizational, 11, ln;
process, 12-15; skills, .3-4; small-
grou p, .lo; and technology, 11; r.heory,
11; timeli ness and, 2; transactional
model, JJ; visual, 11; in workplaces,
ln, 21-23
compare to/compare with, 483
com parisons, 79; sentences and ,
515-1()
mmpleme11t/complime11t, 48.3
complementing, 17
completeness, 62
complirnenr.ary close, 14l), .189, 506
compur.er visuals, 4.32-3.5
conciseness, n.3, 81-8n
conclusions section: fomial reports and ,
398, 419; informal reports and , 321,
.334, 3.50, .362; present.atinns and , 429
Conference Board of Canada, 3, 4n
connotation, 86-87
consistency, 6.3, !On
constraints, 48
contact infonnation, resurnes and, 276
content general.ion, 56- 58
content-organization -sr.yle (COS)
meth11d , 62
co11ti11ually/co11ti11uou..1ly, 484
continuation page heading, 191
coordinate conjunctions, com pound
sentences and, 102
copy nocation, 190
copyiight, BS
c011mrate social responsihility (CSR), 4,
6, 7
Corporatinn ror Natinnal and
Commu nity Smrice, 281
could, 512-.13
could of/could have, 484
mu1d!wou1dl.1hould, 84
council/cou11.1el, 484
courtesy, 32, 90
covers, formal repons and , 395
creative age, 4
creative class, 4, 2 7
credihility, 23 7- 38
criterio11/criceria, 484
critiquing, nthers' work, 6n
 INDEX
cross-cultural competence, 28
cult.ure: defined, 28; five dimensions
of, 29; high- and low-context
communication styles, 30;
understanding differences, 28-29
cybernetics, 12
cyberspace, communicating in, 2o
cyheiwarfare, .5
Dalhousie University Wiiting Centre, 65
dashes, 522; emphasis and, 107
dai:a: open, 8; -reports and, 387-89;
as tenn, 484 ; types of, 387; .1ee al.10
research
databases, 388
dateline, Leners and, 187
dates, num hers and, 50 l
deadwMd, 83
decimals, numbers and, .501
decod ing, 14; 11m1-verhal
communication and, 17, 18
de-emphasis, Hl9-Hl, 111
de/er/differ, 484
degrees, abbreviations, 499
delivery notation, 187
Dell, JO
denotation, 86
design, 23'i, .178
diac1itical marks, .32
Dick, Robert, 72
dictim1aries, 71J
Dictionary of English Usage (website),
505
differentfmm/d.ifferent thar1, 484
differ.from/differ with, 485
direct-mail marketing, 250
DTRECTV, 161
direct Wl'iting TillaM: had news and,
205- 7; indirect w1iting plans versus,
213; in fomial report.sand, 355-56
discourse commun ities, 47
discrimination, 9()-91
discussion section: formal reports and,
.197; in fomial reports and, .1 62
dL1incemte.dlwtintere.1ted, 48 5
dL1w1tlde.1w1t, 48.5
distribution lists, e-mail, 137, 141
diversity, 8, 27- 28; checklist for, 33- 34;
"diversity advantage," 8
do, 513
documentation, 399-402
Donnelly, Tim, "How to Deliver Bad
News to Emn1loyees," 224
doublespeak, 75
download/upload, 485 environment, o
doWltward communication flow, 23 ePortfolios (d igit.al portfolios), 290
drafting, 49, 58-60 errors: in e-mails, B7; impact of, HlO;
D'Souza, Sean, "The Sales Boosting sentence, 112- 1.5; typographical, o:~
Logic of the J~s.: 2.53 et al.letr.., 480
due tll/becau.1e of, 48.5 ethics, 63; appeals to, 237- 38; business,
dyadic, 15 23-24; communication for, 23-26;
conduct and, 25; responses and, 106;
each/both, 482-83 social media and, 4 73; sales letters
Ede, Lisa and Andrea Lunsford, 4 7 and, 251
editing, 49, 60-63 ethnocenuism, 28
education, resumes and, 277 EverNote, 10
e.-/e.-bu.1i11e.r..1/eBu.1inm/E-bu.1i11e.1.1, 48.5 excepclex1Je.cclaaept, 4 79
ejfect/ajfe.ct, 4 79- 80 ex./e.g./i.e., 485
e.g./i.e.le.x., 485 exigence, 48
either/or sentences, .50Y expletive constmctions, 85
Ekman, Paul and Wallace Friesen, explir.iclimplicit, 480
19-20 expres~ons: non-idiomatic, 78,
elliptical constmction, 114 79; our.dated husiness, 76- 77;
Ellis,jhn, 462 tran~tional, 118-19
Elton john AIDS Foundation, .179 extemporaneous speaking, 4.19
Eluta.ca, 2o9 eye contact, .l9, 20, 30, 299, 4.17, 441
e-mail, 55, 128, 135-48, 149-50;
cover letters and, 29~-95; follow- Facehook, 9, 462, 467, 471, 473
up messages, .L 40-48; fonnatting facial expressim1s, 17, 19, 20, 30, 44.L
and writing, 139-40; forwarding, fallacy, logical, 230
.1.41; goodwill and, 145; guidelines farther(funher, 486
for, 136- 38; incoming, 138- 39; Fasken Martineau LLP, 4 73
infonnative and positive memos faulty predication , J 14-J 'i, 514
and, 142-44; out-of-orfice messages, favours, 219-41
141; paper memos and, B3-34; faxing, .55
replying 1.0 , 140-41, 145; request, feedhack, 14, 31
144-45; resum~s and, 286-88; style feminin ity, versus masculinity, 29
and tone, 141-42; see al10 letters; Ferguson, Michael, .198
memorandums; messages Ferrari, e-mail policy, 13 5
emigrate fromlimmigraw to, 485 .fewer/Im, 486
emi11enr/lmmi11e11t, 485 .few/little., 480
emoticons, 77, 137, 486 figures, list of, 382, 3%
emphasis, Wliting and, 107-10 figures, numhers and, 500
employees: had news an d, 223- 25; films, 432
diverse base 11f, 8 findings section: fom1al reports and,
em ployers: resum~s an.cl, 274; social 419; infom1al reports and, :~20-2 1
med ia and, 473- 74 fiscallmonew.ry, 486
employment: follow-up messages, five Ws (who, what, why, when, and
300-301; self~assessment and , where), .57
2oO-o8; social media and, 271-7\ flaming, 137
see al10 job-hunting Flickr, 404, 468, 471
employment agencies, 270 fli p charL<;, 431; prepared, 43 1
enclosure notation, 189 Florida, Richard, 4, 27
encoding, B ; 1111n-verbal, 17, 18 foll ow-up messages, 140-48;
English, Business, 27 employment and, 300-301
enquiry/inquiry, 486 .for, Hl2
e11surellnsurda.1sure, 48 l fom1al communications netwmk, 22
envelopes, addressing, 191 fomrnlity, 87-88; fonnal repmts

and, 390, 391; intercultural
communication and , 31
fonnal repmts, 389-418; hack matter
and, 399-402; body l1f, 397-98;
definition, 389; elements of, 395-402;
from mall.er, 395- 96; versus informal
reports, 3.l l-12; length of, 390, 391;
peer-reviewing and team writing,
.192; preparing tn write, 390-91;
researching and collecting data,
.187-89; sample in Al'A style, 403-18;
time management and, 392; wl1rk
plan for, 391-92, 391-94; writing
style for, 39 J.
fom1at, 63; e-mail and, 139- 40;
emphasis and , 107-8; letters and,
185-91, 295; memos and, 129-30
.fonner/latier, 486
.fnrmerly(formally, 487
.forward!.forward.1/foreword, 487
fractions, num hers and, 501
Freeman, Charles, 465
Freeman, Julie, 2
freewritin.g, 59
Friedman., Thomasj., n1e World Is Flat,
5- 6,9
.from, 103
frl1nt matter: fonnal reports and,
.195-%; proposals and, :rn1
fttrtd!funds, 487
fundraising messages, 258- 59
Future Shop, 202
Gap,The,474
Ganick, Roger, 2
Garst, Kim, "5 Quali ties of Companies
with Out~tand i ng Sl1cial Customer
Service," l M
gender, language and, 9 J.- 2
general-to-specific development, 57
genres, 47
Georgetown University Library,
"Evaluating lnternet Resources," 388
gestures, 19-20
Giddens, Anthnny and Ulrich Beck, 5
global economy, 7-8, 27
Globe artd Mail, I1te, 4 2.5
go11e/we11t, 487
,i:oodlwdl, 487
Gol1dwill Community Ft1undation, 168
goodwill dosing, 211-12
e,;oogle, 4
Gol1gle+, 2tW, 467
Gongle Analytics, 475
I N DEX
Google Ones, 65, 66 Huherman, Esther, 128
Google Drive, 66 HuhSpot lnc., 9
got/have/have .r,ot, 487 Human Resources and Skills
Govemment of Canada: Development Canada (HRSDC:), 3.5
Communications Policy, 46; "The human rights, ti
Hidden Joh Market," 270 humour, 32
grammar, 63; enms in, 100, .l 20;
handhonk of, 507-B; lntemet I/me, .'ilf>-17
resources for, .523 lime/mine, in cover letters, 288
graphics: presemations and, 436; I/me/myself, 491
reports and, 321- 31; see al.10 visual I/we, 488-89
aids ICTs. See infom1ation and
graphs: grouped line, 328; line, 328- 29, communication technologies (lcTS)
331; picture, 327 identification in itials, 189
gmups, communicar.inn and, 16 iden tity theft, 5
groupth ink, 4.50 idioms, 79
groupware, 451- 52 i.e../ex.le.,i:., 48.5
Gunning, Rohen, 74 illustrators, 20
illustrations, lists of, 382, 396
Hadfield, Chris, 4 70 image, non-verhal communication and,
Hall, Edward T., 29; spatial znnes, 20
18-19 immigrate to/emigrate.from, 485
handnuts, 432 imminentleminenc, 485
ha11.r,ed/11ung, 487 implicitlexplici!, 486
hardly, 487 Imply/infer, 489
"hard skill," 3 impromptu speaking, 439
Harvard Business l~eview, "Tips on in, 103
Writing," .111 incidencs!incidence, 489
hashtag, 470 indirect writing plans, 207, 212, 213,
Hastings, Reed, 473 238; had news and, 20.5, 207-1.'5;
have, 84 direct w1iting plans versus, 2J3;
havdltave got/gnt, 487 infonnal repolts and, 356
have/of, 488 individualism, versus collectivism, 29
Hayward, Tony, 214 infonnal communication networks, 22
lw, lti.1, ltim, ltimse~f. 91- 92 informal reports: analytical, 3'53- 70;
headings, .) 15, 488; continuation page, cla1ity of, 311; composing and
19.l; descriptive or talking heads, revising, .118-20; content of,
.1 16; functional, 316; infomial repnrts 3Hl- ll; direct approach to, 314-1.5;
and, 315- 17; memns and, .1.29, 130; distribution of, 313- J.4; elements
resumes and, 274, 276 of, 320-2.l; vs. fom1al reports,
lieadquarters, 488 111-12; formats nf, 3B; frequency
he/hi.I, 488 of suhmission, :~13; graphics and
Heins, Thorsten, 148 visuals, 32 1-31; headin gs, 315-17;
l11?re, sentences beginning with, 509 indirect approach, 315; infonnational,
hierarchy of needs, 23.5 :B2-5:~; outlines and, 318-19;
high-context cultures, 30, 157 planning, .117; purpose of, 312-13;
histograms, .12 7 researching/analyzing dar.a and
HMV, 474 infonnation, .117- 18; skimmahility
Hofstede, Geen , 29 of, 311; steps in writ.i n~ of, .117-20;
homepage/home. page, 488 successful, :H0-11; types of, 313,
Hnnt Suite, 475 332-70; writing style for, 315
horizontal cnmmunication fl ow, 23 infonuarion and commu1tication
house style, 389 technologies (ICTs), 4, 5
ll!lp:I/ and WWW, 488 infom1ation, fl nw of, 22-21
GI INDEX
information overload, 14
inquiry, 166
l11qui1y/enquiry, 486
in regard to/in Fegards to/a.1 regards/
regard.1, 489
ill;olublelinsolvenrJunsolvable, 496
lnsr.agram, 34-.35, 269, 47.L
inst.ant messaging (TM), 77, 148-49
in.mre/a.1mrekn.m re, 48 l
intensifiers, 84
interference: eniotional, 14;
environmelll!al, 15; physical and
technical, 15; semantic, 14- 15
lnternational Association for Business
Communic.ations (IABC), 2;
Communicator of the Year (COTY)
Award, 2
International Communication
Association (ICA), l .l
lnremet: grammar, style, and ESL
guides and resources, .523; research
and, .387--88; as tem1, 489
internships, 2 70
interviews: media and, 456; research
and, .388-89
introduction section: fom1al reports
and, .397, 4.1.9; infomial reports and,
320- 21, 3.33, .334, .362; presentations
and, 428; pmposals and , 379, 382
invitations, declining, 225- 27
rPO, 489
lpsos Canadial!l lnter@ctive Reid
RepMt, lll
irony, 32
irregard!m/regardless, 489
lrritatelaKS(ravare, 480
is when/is where, 114-.l 5
ii, 105
italics, 13.l
ii i.1/wa.;, 85
i1Vit1, 489
-iZe/-izalionl-ion endings, 74
jargon, :n. 75
joh hanks, onli ne, 269
j11h hunting, 268-70, 2\1.5; follow-up
and, 300-3()1
joh interviews, 296-99
j11h market, hidden, 270
Johvite, 273
Jones, Jason B. , "Challenging the
Presentation Paradigm (in 6 minutes,
40 seconds): Pecha Kucha," 4.38
Jones, Paul, 238
Jones, Sandra, 34 sympathy, 180; thank-you, .l 75-78,
}ones v. "fsige, 34 300; transmittal (cover), 181- 82, 381,
journalistic questions, 57 396; unsolicited cover, 292-9.1, 294
1iab!e./libel/li'1ely, 4\10
Keynote, 432 libel, 25, 79
keywords: cover letters and, 289; Liberal Party of Canada, leadership
resum~s and, 284, 286 debate, 44:l
l1i11d/J1inds, 48\1 libraries, research and, 388
kindly, 489 liw1Ce!lice11se, 490
liind of/sort of, 489 like/as, 48.l
kinesics, 19- 20 Li nked ln, 26\1, 467-6\1, 471; e-mail
Klout, 47.5 hacking controversy, 138; employment
knowledge: of receiver, 52; specialized, and,271- 73
credihilit.y and, 23 7-38 listening: active, 65; inr.ercultural
lmowledge economy, 4-.5 communication and, 31
Kremer, William and Claudia lists, 109, 131, B.1; e-mails and, 140;
Hammond, "Ahraharn Maslow and fomiatling, 131-33; horizontal and
the Pyramid that Beguiled Business," veitical, l 32
235 liuk(few, 486
logical fallacy, 216
Labossiere, Corinne, 'The No. 1 Rule logical structure, 427
for Good Business W1iting? Get r.o the Longley, Marco, 17.5
Point," 157 long-tem1 mient.ation, 29
labour standards, o loo.1e/lose, 490
language: inclusive, \10-92; plain, 111r.1/a 1111/allllt, 480
72- 73 low-con text cultures, 30, 157
Larsen, John , 6
lacer/latter, 490 MacDonald, Melanie, 378
Latin isms, 74 Mc Donalds, use or social media, 4 72
1acter(fonner, 486 McMullen, Kim, 128
lay/lie, 490 managemen t, participat.my, 6
lay nff/laynlf, 490 manuscript method , 4:~8-39
lead-ins, 82 ma11y/much, 4\11
lead/led,490 mapping, .50-.57
legalese, 72 margins, 185
Leger Marketing, 10 markers: dependent, 10 l; subordinare,
Lehrer, Jonah , 80 102
le11d/loan, 490 masculinity, versus femininity, 29
1e.;s(f'ewer, 486 Maslows Hierarchy of Needs, 235
letterhead, 55, 187 matrixes, 323, .331
letters: application 11r cover, 286, 288- Mar.thews, Terry, 3
95; claim, 163-65; collection, 247- may /Je/mayl1e, 491
48; of congratulations, l 79; demand, may/ca11, 483
250; elements of, 18:5-\11; follow-up, mean, .318
.300; fom1, 16\1, 222; fomiat of, 185- measurement, uniL~ of, 508-\1
91, 295; full hlock, 185, 186, 187; med ia, dealing with, 454-56
informative, 181--84; inquiry, 249-50; media/medium, 49 l
instructional, 182-84; job-acceptance, median, 318
]00; .Joh-prospecting, 2\12-9.1; job- medium, U ; see aL10 channel
refusal, 300; modified hlock, 185, med ium (cliannel). 53-.55
186, 187; personalized form, 168; meetings, 446-52; agendas and,
reference-request., 30 l; reminder, 449; conducting, 449-5 .l; e-mail,
248; sales, 250-59; simpli fied style, 452; extemal, 446; formal, 446;
185, 186; solicited ctwer, 289-92; of groupware-support.ed, 451-52;

informal, 446; intemal. 441l; leading,
449- 50; oral, 31; pa1ticipating in,
45()-51; prepa1ing for, 446-49;
purpose of, 441l-47; sam ple agenda,
448; size of, 44 7-48; types of, 441l;
vi1tual, 452
Mehrahian, Albert, 16
memorization, 419
memorandums (memos), 128-14;
henefits of, 55; checklist for, 134;
follow-up and , 146-48; fo1111at
of, 129-10; infonnative, 142-44;
insuuctional, 182-84; list~ in,
13.1.-.31; order requesL~. J. 59, 161-62;
organization of, 130- 11; paper vs.
email, LH-.14; persuasive, 24 .L -42,
241-44; reply, 145; request, 144-45,
158-65; traits of, 129; see also e-mail;
letters; messages
me/myself/I, 491
messages, 12-13, .L il; claim adjusm1ent,
172-74; claim requests, 242-46;
confi nnation, 170-72; direct
approach, 157-58, 20.5-7; favour
and action requests, B9-4 l;
fund raising, 2 58- 59; good\vill, .1.45,
.L 74-80; indirect approach, 212, 218;
mixed, 1.5; negative, 202-27; order
acknowledgement, lll8-70; order
request, 161-62; persuasive, 216-.38,
241-42; planning, 49-50; requests,
.L 58-65; see also had news messages;
e-mail; letters; memorandums; sales
mes.~ages
micro-hlogs, 469- 70
Microsoft , "Whats New in PowerPoint
20B," 417
minutes, meeting, 451
misrepres.entar.ion, 2 5, 79
mixed c011struction, 11.5
MU Hand}Jnnk fnr Writw nf Research
Report.1, J11e, 40 l
mode, .318
models, 4.32
Modem Language Association (MLA
style), 182, 401-2
modifiers, lB, 5.L 7-18; dangling,
11.3-1 4, 518; misplaced, 11.3, 517
Molson Canadian National Campus
Challmge, 414
Molson Coors, 10, 41l2
mo11eca1y!fi.1cal, 486
money, num hers and, 500
mn11ey/m()11te.1/mo11eys, 491
I N DEX
Monkey See, 296 oral presentations. See presentations
Monster.ca, 269 order acknowledgements, 168-70
months, ahhreviations, 499 order requests, .161-62
Moorcroft, David, l 57 outlines, 49, .57-58; alphanumeric, :H9;
Most 1imced Companies for Privar.y Study decimal, 119; infonnal reports and,
(Ponemon Institute), 237 118-19; presentations and, 429- .30
Moulday, Nancy, 469 out.sourcing, 7, 8
multimedia visual.s, 4.12-15, 4.11l overconfidence, 91
multinational corporations, 2 7 overhead projectors, 4.12-34
Mum effect, 202 Oxford Adva11ced Learner'.; Dictio11ary, 79
my.1e!fll/me, 491
MySpace, 462 paragraph cnnstmction, 6.1
paragraphs, llti- 19; coherence and,
names: company/organization, 48.1, .1.18-19; development of, 1.1. 7; length,
50.3, 509; department and division, 1!6
50.3; product, 50.3 paralanguage, 19
narrative structure, 427 parallelism, .lOll-7, 5 .l 5
NASDAQ, 491 parentheses, .521
National Communication Association, l .l paremhetical in-text citations, 400,
negative messages. See had news 401-2
messages participatory culture, 41l:~-M
negatives, multiple, 105 Pascal, Blaise, 8.L -82
Netfli.x, 47.3 pa.1sedlpa.s1, 492
netiquett.e, 1.36, .149 l'astor, Joan, 25
Netlingo: The Internet Dictinnaty, 50.5 Pecha Kucha presenration.s, 4.18
networking, 270 per ce111/perce111/%/percencai:elperw11tle,
new econnmylold economy, 49 .l 492
Nike Fuelhand, .LO pe1i11ds, 521
noise, 14 person (grammatical), 106
nominalizations, 82 personal infonnation: resumes and,
llOr, 102 278-79; workplaces and, .32- .36
noun conversions, 82 Personal lnfonnation Protection and
nouns, 82; ahstract, 78; capitalization Electronic Documents Act (PTPEDA),
and, .502, '504; collective, .508; 12,1.5
concrete, 78 photo-sharing sir.es, 4 71
numher (grammatical), l Oil ph rases, 100; empty, 8.3; foreign, 75,
number/amount, 481 481l; modifying, Hl4; participial,
numbers, 112, 500-502 104; plain-language alternatives to
standard, 506; prepositional, 84-85,
Ocean Nutrition Canada, 266 10.1; reduci ng, 85
offshming, 7, 8 Pinterest, 21l9, 471
offliave, 488 plagiarism, 21l, 80, 141
OKJO.Klo11ay, 49.L Plain Language Associatim1
old economy/11ew ec.mrnmy, 491 International (PLAIN), 74
Oil, 1()3 plain language/style, 72-71
one of the., one of the ...who, the only one of Plain Wrtting Act (US), 7J
the .. . who, 510 planning, message, 49-'5(); .1ee al.rn
Ontario legisla1.ure, 214 direct writing plan; indirect writing
open ings: letters and, 288; info1111al plan
reports and, 144, 141, .11l2; memos p.111./P.M./a.m./AM., 480
and, 110 poli teness, 12, 111
open-sourcing, 7 l'onemon Lnstitute, Most 7.i'usced
opinions, versus facts, 2 5, 80 Cnmpaniesfor Privacy Study, 237
or, 102 portfolios, career, 29.5-91l
GI INDEX
posters, 431
PostRank, 475
postscri pts, 2 '>4
posture, 20
Posyniak, Len, 469
power distance, 29
l'owerl'oint, 432, 4.1 5-37
practicallpraclic.ahle, 41J2
praccicelpractL1e. 41J2
precede/proceed, 492
prepositions, 79, 84-85
presentations, 425-45; aud ience and ,
42ti-27; delivering, 441- 42; method.~
of delivery, 438-40; outlines, 429-30;
questions and, 442-43; quick tips,
431; special-occasion , 444-45;
structuring, 4 27- 28; team -based, 444;
three-part, 428-29; types of, 426;
visual aids, 4.10-3.1, 4.1 1-35
prewriting, 48 , 50-.58
Prezi, 4.1 2, 437-38
principal/principle, 492
p1ivacy, .1 2-36; e-mail and, 137; social
med ia and, 472-73
Privacy Act, 32, 3.5
problem stat.emenrs/questions, 353
tm> bm10, 75
pronouns, 73, 516-17; coherence and ,
ll8; first-person, 81J, ll l, 288, 488,
516-1 7; gender and, 91- 92; personal,
73; plural, 92; reference, 32, 105;
relative, 32, 10.1; sentence length
and, 85; as subjects, .501J-10; vague
references and, 5.l6
proofreading, 61, .l20; resum~s and,
275; symbols, 61, 62
proposals, .55, 1.'H, .178-ilti; common
mistakes in writing, 38ti; definition,
378; external, 378; fomial, 380- 82;
infonnal , 379-80, 382-86; internal,
378; wiiting style, 382
provinces, abb reviations, 41J9
proxemics, 18-19
psychological 1eactance, 20.1
Puh!lcactnn Manual nf the American
Psyr.hnlnp,ical A.1snciatinn, 400
public relation.s, .l 1
punctuation, 6.1 , 520- 22; emphasis
and, 107; lists and , 1.12-3.1;
proofread ing and, 120
Purdue Online Writing Lah , 49;
"Business letters: Accentuating the
Positive," 209
purpose, 50-5 1; fomial reports and,
390, 397; infomial reports and,
312- 1.1; persuasive writing and, 234
purpose statements, .154-55
QI, Q2, Q:l, Q4, 492
qualifiers, 84
question marks, 521
questions, 104--.5; closed, 104;
hypnthetical, .l05;jounialistic, 57;
open, 104; presentations and , 442-4.3
quntation marks, 522
qunlillinnlqunre, 493
quotations, capitalization and, 504
radit1 frequency identification (RFTD)
tags, 9-10
range, .118
rationalizations, for ethical lapses, 24
rational/rationale, 493
RBC Financial e,;rnup, 8
readabili ty, 63
readabili ty index, 14
reader benefits, 53, 89- 90, 2.38
reading, 21
Really Simple Syndication (RSS), 9, 462
real/re.ally, 49.1
rea.1on L1 becau.;e/rea.1011 i.1 Otat, J. .I. 5, 493
reason rhc.H/rea.1on why, 493
receiver, 12, 14, '52-54
recommendations: fon:nal reports and,
398, 419; infom1al reports and, .1 2 1
redundancies, 83
reference line, 188
references: ler.ters requesting, .10 l ;
resum~s and, 2 79
references section: APA documemation,
400-401; proposals and, .182
refusals, 203; claims and, 217-18;
credit and , 219- 20 , 221; employment
and, 220-23; implied, 2.l l; requests
and, 21.5- 1fi
regardlmlirregardlesslirmpe.aive, 481J ,
49.1
regard.1/in regard co/in regard.1 tnla.;
regard.1, 489
regulatim1, 17; non-ve1hal
communication and, 18
regulators, 20
repetition, 17
report~ . .5.5, 3 10, 419; accident/incident,
332, 347-.50; activity, .339-41;
analytical or recommendation, 313,
314, .115, :H8, 3.5:~-70; compaiison/
yardstick, .16.5 -70; ct1mpliance, .1 33;
conference, 334- 39; f'easihility, 33.3-
34, 362- 65; fonnal vs . infonnal, 3.L l -
12; infonnational, 31.1, 314, .1 32-53;
investigative, :n:~; joh cmnpletion,
344-4o;justification, 3.1.3, 3'5.5 -61;
letr.er, 314; memorandum, 3l4;
one-time, 313; pe1i odic, 31.3, 3.32;
PowerPoint, .1 14; prepared-fo1111,
314; problem-investigation, 3.50-.52;
prohlem statements and problem
quest.ions in, 354; progress, 342-4.1;
purpose statement~ in, 354--.'i5;
recommendation, 33\ 3'54, J5.5-61;
~t.uational , .332; summary, 3'i.3; to-
file, 3.14; tii p , 3.'H-39; see aL~o fonnal
reports; infonnal repMts; proposals
reputation, credibili ty and, 2.38
request for proposals (RFP), 378
research, 387-89; informal reports
and, .1 17-18; in-house, 387, 388;
interviews, 388-89; online, :'l88;
primal)'/secondary, 387
research and development (R&D), 4
respecifullylrespeccively, 493
responses, lM-74; e-mail, .140-41,
145, 146; memos, 145
resum~s. 274--88, 301; action verbs
for, 275; chronological, 279- 81;
combination , 281, 28.1; definition ,
274; e-mail, 28ti-88; functional, 281,
282; length of, 279; parts of standard,
276- 79; plain -text, 287; scannahle,
284-86; skills and capahilities in,
278; styles and layouts, 271J-84;
writing style, 274-75
revising, 49, 60-63
rhetmic, 12, 47
rhetotical situations, 4 7-48
richness, 54
1ich site summary, 462
Riley Guide jt1h Listing.~. 269
risk commun ication, .5
tisk society, 5
Ronald McDonald House Charities, 2.59
Royal Insurance of Canada, 72
sales messages, 250-59; audience and,
25.l; follow-up, 254; product and ,
2'5.l, 2'52-53; Wliting plan fo1, 2'51-54
salurations, IJl; e-mail and , 140, .505;
letters and, 188
samples (visual aids), 432
Sandel, Michael, 9
sarcasm, .32

Scwartz, Mark, 7
search engines. 4. 387
secrions, 11umhers and, 501
semantics, 12
w ni-amw.allbienniallbiarmual, 482
semicolnr1.,, 520
semiotics, 12
wni-weelllylbi-weekly. 482
sender, .L 'l
sensitivity. emotional, .L S
sentence construction , 63
sentence fragments, l 12
sentences, 100-llti; beginning
\vith there, 509; clarity and, 105;
completeness and, l 03; com plex.
101. rn2. 109; compound, 101,
102; compound -com plex, 101, Hl2;
declarative, 104; de-emphasis, 109-
10; emphasis and, Hl7-Hl; either/or,
50\l; errors in, 112- 1.5; length of, 73,
10.1 . .LOS-9, 2Hl; parallel structure,
106- 7; run-on (fused), .ll2-13; topic,
117; types of, lOJ-2; simple, 101;
simple versus complex, .12; with than
and a.1, .515-ll'l
sequential development, 57
Service Canada job Bank, 269
service class, 4
shall/wtll, 4\l:~-\14
Shannon, Claude, 12
sh01t-tem1 mientation, 29
Shorty Awards, 4 72
shnuld!would, 4\14
"shouting," 107
sight/site/cite, 483
signature block, 189
Simmnns, Shannnn, 2.14
Simone, Sue, 2titi
Simpson, Matt D. 148
since/because. 494
site/.llght/cite, 4\14
slang. 32. 77
Smith.Jacquelyn. "How to Ace the 50
Most Common lnte1view Questions,"
298
so, 102
social media, 2, 462; advantages of,
465, 47 J.-72; analytics, 474-75;
definition, 462, 464-ti5; job hunting
and, 2ti9; participatory culture and,
463-64; performance and, 474-75;
1isks and challenges of, 472-74; roles
in, 4ti.1; types of, 4Mi-7J; use hy
organizations, 465 , 471-72, 473
social networks, 9, 467-69; selected
sites, 468
Society of Graphic Designers of Canada
(GDC), 178
"soft skill ," 3
som1?timelsometime.1/some time. 494
sound bites, 428. 455
snurces, documenting. 199-402
space, use of, 18- .L \l
spam, 136
spatial zones, Hall 's, 18-19
speaking, intercultural communication
and, :H
spell -checking software, 62-6'\, 120,
137.140, 484
spelli ng, 61, 120
scatio1tary/scatio11ery, 494
Stephens, Doug, 202
storytelling, 10
stress-reduction techniques, 440
style: business writing and, 72;
conversational, i:l7; e-mail and,
.141-42; emphasis and, 108; fonnal
reporrs and, .1\11; impersonal, 88;
informal reports and, 115; personal,
87- 88; plain, 72-73; proposals, 182;
resum~s and, 274-75; word choice,
74-80
subject lines: had news and, 204; e-mail
and, 139; infomrnl repmts and, 314,
:347; letters and, 188; memos and,
130; negative/neutral/positive, 204;
resumes and, 239, 28ti
subjects (grammatical), 100; amounts
and units of measurement a.s, 508-9;
antecedents of that, which, and who
as, .510; collective nouns as, 508;
compound, 507-8; linking verhs and,
509; pronouns as. 509- 10; simple,
507; singular, in plural fom1, 508
subject-verb agreement, 507-11, 514
substitution , 17
subway constructi on in Scarborough.
feasibility report, 362
SUCCESS (CATA), 3
summary, executive: fom1al reporls and,
.196; proposals and, '18.L
summa1y section, 32.L, 3.13, .150
suppose to/.mpposed to, 494
sustainahility/sustainahle development,
6-7
Swales.John, 47
symbols, 10, 12
Systrnm, Kevin, .14-15
IN DEX
tahle of contents (me): formal reports
and, 396; proposals and , 182
tahles, 322-B, 1.11; lists of, 182, .196
take/bring, 48:~
ta11enverltal1e over, 494
talking (desc1iptive) head, 116
Taylor, Chris, 202
Taylor, David, ''How to Wiir.e a Perfect
Memo," 129
TD Bank, 466
TD Financial Group. 310
team work, 8; writi ng and , 392-9.5
technology: communication, 8-\l;
collaborative writing and, 65-66
telephone, 452-54; making calls, 55,
452-.53; receiving calls, 45.1-54;
tLsing voice mail, 4.54
templates: memos and, 129;
Powerl'oint, 435
tenns, a.s sub jects, 509
than I/than me, 495
thanlchen, 49.5
that-clauses, 85
that/which/who, 104, 105, 495, 510
the, \vith plural nouns, 81
the fact that, 11.5
themsdves/them.1e!f/their.1dves, 495
there L\/are, 85
there/their/chey're. 496
this, 105
time: management, .192; numbers and,
501; use of, 19
title pages: fomial reports and, .19.5-\lti;
proposals and ..181
titles (hook): capitalization and, 504; as
subjects, 509
titles (personal): courtesy. 484. 49\l;
letters and, 187; professional. 32, .5 01
TJX Company, privacy breach at, 34
to, 103
Toastmasters, 4:l9
tone, 8ti-\l1; had news messages and,
203-4; confident, 92-93; definition,
86; denotation and connotation,
86-87; e-mail and, 141-42; fomiali ty
and, 87-88; politeness, \lO; positive
and negative, 88-A9; reader henefirs
and relevance, 89- 90
toward/toward.\, 10.1 , 496
Towson University Online Writing
Support, Hl2
transitional expressions. 11.8- 19
transparencies, 412
transparency, 6
GI INDEX
Trudeau. Justin, 44.1
Truscott, Tom, 462
Truss, Lynn, 120
truth, telling, 2 5
Tsige, Winnie, 34
Tufte, Edward, 437; The. Visual Display of
Qua11WaUve. l11formaU011, 122
Tumhlr, 269, 4M, 471
l\vitter, 9, 269, 273, 469-70, 471, 473
uncer1ainty avoidance, 29
UN c;tohal Compact (UNGr.), 6
ur1interested!disi11tue.1t.ed, 485
University of Calga1y, Style Guide, 505
Un iversity of Ottawa, Writing Centre,
117
University of St. Gallen, cSR video, 7
University of Winnipeg, Safety Office,
"Reportin!ifRecording Process for
Incidents: 147
University of Wisconsin-Madison,
Writing Cent.er, 120
u11solvahleli11.1olu/Jle/ilt1olvent., 496
upload/download, 485
upward communication flow, 23
usage, 479- 98; Lntemet resources for,
505
Usenet, 462
user-generated content (ucc), 462, 4ti4
ILi? to/1t.1ed t.o, 496
verhals, !04
verhs, 100; active/passive, 73, 110-12,
513-14; cond itional, .512-13;
indicative, 512; linking, 509; ph rasal,
73; problems with, 512-!3; resum~s
and, 27.5; semences and, 106; style
and, 84; suh_ject agreement and,
507-U , 514; subjunctive, 512; tense
and, !06, 5.L.1-12; noun conversions
and, 82
video conferencing, 5.5
videos, 432
video-sha1ing sites, 4 71
Vimeo, 464, 468, 47!
visual aids, 321; infonnal repmts and,
321-31; presentations and, 430-35; words: choice of, 63, 72- 80; commonly
types of, 322- 31, 431-35 confused, 4 79- 97; empty, 81;
VL1ual DLsplay of Qua11titatlve. lnfonnat.1011, ethics and , 79-80; factual, 79-80;
nie (1ilfte), 122 familiar, 74-76; filler, 8.5; foreign, 75,
vocalics, 19 486; French, 74- 75; fresh, 76- 77;
voice, paralanguage and, 19 inclusive, 90-92; meanings of, 86-87;
voice (grammatical): active and passive, specific, 78-79; transitional, 118-19;
25, 71,84, ll0-1 2, 210, 220, "weasel: 92
513- 14; institutional passive, 111 work expe1ience: assessing, 267- 68;
voice mail, 55, 205, 454 resurn~s and , 2 77-78
WorkopnlisC:ampus.com, 269
wait for/wait 011, 4% Workopolis.com, 269
we-attitude, 90 workplace, 4- 10; communication skills
Weaver, Warren, 12 in, 2.l- 22; diversity in, 27- 28; privacy
Weh 1.0, 461 in, 32-36
Weh 2.0, 9, 462-6\ 4M work plan, :~Y 1-lJ2, :~Y3-lJ4
Weh 3.0, 9-10, 463 works cited sections: enuies, 402;
weh browsers, 7 fonnal reports and, 399-402;
web-conferencing, 452 proposals and, 382
well, 488-89 wMkspaces, shared. 4-.5
weights and measuremenrs, numbers World Is Flat, nie (Friedman), 5-6, 9
and, 501 World Wide Web, 9- 10
well/good, 487 would, 512-13
we.nt/gone., 487 would/should, 494
Westin, Alan, 32 Wtight, Nick, "Complex and Abstract
which-clauses, 85 Words: 75
which/who/that, 104, 495 Wliter's block, 59-60
while, 496 writing: cnllaborative, 63-66; cnntent
whiteboards, 4.11 generation and, .55-.57; contextual
who-clauses, 85 factors, 46-47; ctitiquing others', 66;
Whole Foods, resignation letter by drafting, 49, 58-60; emphasis and,
employee, 128 107-10; genres and, 47; organizing,
whoVwhose, 4lJ7 49, .57-58; persuasive, 234-38;
who/whom, 104, 4%-97 planning and, 49-.50; under pressure,
Wiens, Kyle, JOO 60- 61; prewrtting, 48, 50- 58;
Wikipedia, 64 process, 48-64; purpose of, 50-51,
will/shall, 491-94 B4; revising and ed iting, 49, 60-63;
Wilson, Craig, 2M see also direct writing plan; indirect
with, .l.03 w1iting plan
wordiness, 8 .l WIVIV and http://, 488
Wordl'ress, 4M
word-processing software, 59; merge yet, 102
feature and fom1 letters, 222; Simple you-attitude, 89
Markupfrrack Changes, 6 .I.; spell- and your/you're, 497
grammar-checkers, 60, 62-63, 120, You1i.1be, 9, .110, 4M, 471
137, 140, 484
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 FROM THE PUBLI SHER

Supplements
Communicating fo r Re.~ ults, third edition, is su pported hy an outstanding array of ancil-
lary materials for both instructor and student, all available on the companion website:
www.oupcanada.com/Meyer3e.

About the Book

Instructor Resources
Ccmmunic11ting for F/0$u/t$ offers pr11etic111,
classroom-tested Instruction In the rh&t0tlcal You need a password to acceaa these reacuces.
techniques and peraU881ve atrateglee that etU<lente Please contact your IOC41
need to become eflective wrlta and apeak&fa. Solo& and Edijoriel BoprMontatlyo for me
Supplemented with abund.ant group and lncivlcllal information.
activities 10 rcinlorco key l)fincil)ICS Md hOtP
tudont hone llWr killa, thl lnvolUAble lftXt will
leech students to cornmunlcale -.ith confidence.
Student ResourceR
Jnspectloo oopy Jequest

Qcdgrioo lnfgannt!oo Sample Mater1al

Coot.act & Cgmmoot Get Adobe POF reeder I US I UK I

For the Instructor

An instructor's manual includes chapter overviews, demonstrative exam ples, sug-
gestions for discussion topics, recommended resources, and additional homework
assignments.
An answer key provides solutions to the in-text exercises and t.he online case smdy
workbook.
PowerPoint slides summarize key points from each chapter and incorporate figures
from the textbook.
A test generator, with both 1m1ltiple-choke and shortanswer questions, creates hoth
chapter-specific and multiple-chapter tests.

For the Student

A case study workbook-containing case studies and disc.'t1ssion questions--prn-
vides real-li fe examples taken from both general and disci plinespedfi c situations.
Interactive self-grading practice quizzes for each chapter, along with a practice mid-
term and a practice final exam, allow stud ent<; to tes~. their level of comprehension.
A study guide presents chapter summaries, learning objectives, and key concepts.
Annotated web links and an on line directory of business resources provide a start-
ing point for Internet research.
FROM THE PUBLIS HER

Acknowledgements
The development of a new edition is a proces.~ that involves the expertise, insights, and
dedication of many people. I am grateful to have worked alongside and in colbhoration
with an Oxford University Press team that values consideration and thoughtfulness in this
process, and I wish to thank all those involved with the acguisition , editing, and produc-
tion of this edition for thei r generous support, advice, and assistance. My special thanks
go out to developmental editor Jodi Lewchuk and acguisitions editors Dave Ward and
Suzanne Clark for their enthusiasm and unwavering commitment to expanding I.he hook
and to Janna Green, Eric Sin kins, and Lisa Ball fo r their editorial diligence and precision. I
express my special gratitude to David Stover, president of Oxford University Press Canada,
and Sophia Fortier, vice-preside11t and director, Higher Education Division, for their re-
sponsiveness to guestions and continuing support for this project.
To my colleagues and associates, int.ernationally, across Canada, and in the School of
Professional Communication at Ryerson University, I owe my gratitude for their inspiring
engagement with the field of professional and manage1ial communication.
l also thank the many reviewers from across Canada who originally recommended the
project and who have since offered insightful recommendations that helped in the process
of shaping and re-shaping Communicating for Results over editions t.o meet the needs of
faculty and students. ln addition to those who provided anonymous feedhack for the third
edition, I would like to thank the following individ uals:

Jay Dohnage, University of Waterloo

Tania Fera-VanGent, Niagara College
Karen Grandy, Saint Mary's University
Gerta Grieve, Northern Alhe rta Institute of Technoloi,ry
Rachael Murphy, Algonguin College
Andrea L. Williams, University of Toronto

Special thanks to Peter Clayton of Douglas College, whose detailed feedhack has helped
improve the test hank.
Finally, on a personal level, I want t.o thank my family- Margaret Meyer, the lat.e
George Homer Meyer, Dr. Ilruce Meyer, Kerry Johnston, and Katie Meyer- whose unfailing
support, kindness, and patience have made it possible for me to produce the first ed ition
and t.o do it all again a second, and now a third, time.

Carolyn Meyer
 To my mother, Margaret
- and in memory of my father, George Homer
'*"" 111i1.nc z.a.z1z.m.1