Mary- Good start on your summary!

Youve organized it well, taking information

from the original and combining ideas or restructuring the order of ideas to suit your
summary. You also strike a nice balance in terms of how much information to include
or not include from the original.
Be sure to include more signal phrases throughout your summary. Each paragraph
should have 2-3 signal phrases where you mention the author. The third paragraph in
particular sounds like you are inserting your own ideas rather than reporting those of
the original writer.
Ive made grammar comments in a second draft below this one. You can find out what
the colors indicate by looking at the key that I copied here.

A former professor at Duke University who has published considerable articles about

higher education and gradeing, Stuart Rojstaczer is the creator of gradeinflation.com

Commented [jr1]: I question whether this is important

where he posts charts and graphs chronicling data about grade inflation. In his essay
information to include at the beginning of your summary.

Grade Inflation Gone Wild published in the newspaper Christian Science Monitor on Commented [jr2]: unnecessary

Commented [jr3]: unnecessary

March 24, 2009, Mr Rojstaczer points out the nationwide phenomenon of rising

Commented [jr4]: Good details here about Rojstaczers

grades. He demonstrates the negative influences of it and advocates taking measures
main points

to get the grades under control.

He finds that grades started to shoot up through out the country since 1960s and are

still rising today. The grades are so high that people begin to question the quality of

higher education. A is the average grade at some school and at the Brown University

its the grade of two-thirds of the students in a class which is definitely abnormal.

This isnt a minor phenomenon. Nearly the whole country has experienced this grade

inflation.
All-pervading high grades have discouraged students from studying hard and made

them turn to drink to kill time. This is easily understandable. If we can go through the

Commented [jr5]: This sounds like your voice commenting

motions and still get a good grade like B+ or better, few of us will study diligently.
on the article. Is that right, or are you reporting the authors
ideas? Be sure to use more signal phrases so your reader
Therefore, students need some other things to pass the spare time such as drinking
knows that the ideas come from Rojstaczer.

which is a natural choice for students at that age. If we go on like this, the next

Commented [jr6]: add more signal phrases throughout this

generation will be poorly educated and addicted to alchohol which is unbearable.
paragraph.

Mr Rojstaczer then gives some examples of success in cutting the grade inflation.

Princeton and Whellesley University strived hard to eventually get down the grade

and take back academic rigor. These cases prove that its not an impossible task as

long as the school stuff are aware of the significance of fixing this problem and take

concerted effort to fight against it.

In a summary, this essay proposes the urgent problem of grade inflation and calls on

Commented [jr7]: This is a good place for a comment from

immediate action. In my opinion, this is a timely essay that cautions us to focus our
you- good job inserting language to indicate that it is your
idea, too.
attention on the serious consequences of this problem and roll our sleeves to tackle

with it as soon as possible.

Grammar analysis key with examples

.. = article

.. = verb tense/ wrong tense, problem forming the verb, or subject-verb

.. = word form

.. = word choice - inaccurate word choice or collocation

.. = noun ending/ singular or plural

.. = sentence structure- punctuation, confusing grammar, or word order

problem

.. = word missing

.. = pronoun reference unclear

Examples below

.. = article
It is a most interesting book I have read. Steve Jobs is the leader of the Apple.

.. = verb tense/ wrong tense, problem forming the verb, or subject-verb error
We didnt completed the job yesterday. Disposing of electronics properly becomes a
major issue.

.. = word form
Her father is the most success software engineer in the firm.

.. = word choice - inaccurate word choice or collocation

The team is putting emphasis to their defense. Hybrid vehicles need more workers for
production.

.. = noun ending/ singular or plural

We have enough homeworks to last a week. The wastes have to be dealt with
properly.

.. = sentence structure- punctuation, confusing grammar, or word order problem

I like apples they are delicious. The manager bought yesterday a new computer.

.. = word missing
They are interested going with us to the concert.

.. = pronoun reference unclear

We enjoyed the book and the movie, but it was more violent.

A former professor at Duke University who has published considerable articles about

higher education and gradeing, Stuart Rojstaczer is the creator of gradeinflation.com

where he posts charts and graphs chronicling data about grade inflation. In his essay

Grade Inflation Gone Wild published in the newspaper Christian Science Monitor on

Commented [jr8]: point out as a signal phrase doesnt

March 24, 2009, Mr Rojstaczer points out the nationwide phenomenon of rising
work with phenomenon, since point out should be
followed by a clause. Verbs that can be followed by a noun
grades. He demonstrates the negative influences of it and advocates taking measures
phrase include: describe, examine, highlight, comment on,
analyze, others?
to get the grades under control.

He finds that grades started to shoot up through out the country since 1960s and are

still rising today. The grades are so high that people begin to question the quality of

higher education. A is the average grade at some school and at the Brown University

its the grade of two-thirds of the students in a class which is definitely abnormal.

This isnt a minor phenomenon. Nearly the whole country has experienced this grade

inflation.
All-pervading high grades have discouraged students from studying hard and made

them turn to drink to kill time. This is easily understandable. If we can go through the

motions and still get a good grade like B+ or better, few of us will study diligently.

Therefore, students need some other things to pass the spare time such as drinking

which is a natural choice for students at that age. If we go on like this, the next

generation will be poorly educated and addicted to alchohol which is unbearable.

Mr Rojstaczer then gives some examples of success in cutting the grade inflation.

Princeton and Whellesley University strived hard to eventually get down the grade

and take back academic rigor. These cases prove that its not an impossible task as

long as the school stuff are aware of the significance of fixing this problem and take

concerted effort to fight against it.

Commented [jr9]: collocations- look up problem and find

In a summary, this essay proposes the urgent problem of grade inflation and calls on
verbs that go with it to replace propose

immediate action. In my opinion, this is a timely essay that cautions us to focus our Commented [jr10]: collocations- look up call in the
collocations dictionary to see how call/action works- which
attention on the serious consequences of this problem and roll our sleeves to tackle prepositions are used in that expression?

Commented [jr11]: collocations- look up use of tackle to

with it as soon as possible.
check the grammatical environment. What prepositions are
used, if any, before the object pronoun?