Table

of Contents
PROLOGUE
ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
FIVE
SIX
SEVEN
EIGHT
NINE
TEN
ELEVEN
TWELVE
THIRTEEN
FOURTEEN
FIFTEEN
SIXTEEN
SEVENTEEN
EIGHTEEN
NINETEEN
TWENTY
TWENTY-ONE
TWENTY-TWO
Table of Contents

PROLOGUE
ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
FIVE
SIX
SEVEN
EIGHT
NINE
TEN
ELEVEN
TWELVE
THIRTEEN
FOURTEEN
FIFTEEN
SIXTEEN
SEVENTEEN
EIGHTEEN
NINETEEN
TWENTY
TWENTY-ONE
TWENTY-TWO
 Copyright Amy Marie 2017
CASEN By Amy Marie
Self-publishing.
AuthorAmyMarie@yahoo.com

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this book may be reproduced or
transmitted in any form without the written permission of the author, except by a
reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes only.
This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or
dead, or actual events is entirely coincidental. Names, characters, places, and
incidents are the product of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously.

Cover Design: Sara Eirew Photographer

Editing by Kathy Krick

Formatting: Angels Indie Formatting
 This book is dedicated to Korri.
Your positivity, strength, and joy are infectious. You are a true example of good
karma coming back full circle.

She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted
her sails.
-Elizabeth Edwards


 PROLOGUE

CASEN

Two hours ago:

After Reece drops me off, I can barely feel my feet as they drag across the
lobby floor of my apartment building. Its early and the brightness of the day
pains my bloodshot eyes. My body feels feeble, dejected, and all I want is to curl
up in Embyrs arms and lose myself until this pain goes away.

Im sorry. We did everything we could to save him. His injuries were just far
too much for his body.

The doctors words play over and over in my thoughts, and the vision of
Ians mother falling to the ground, I know, will never leave me. My chest aches
with the sobs Im trying to keep at bay, but it hurts. Everything hurts. Ive lost
one of my longest known and best friends.
I look around the living room. I have no memory of how I got to the elevator
and through my door. Searching for my phone, I toss the mail I didnt realize I
grabbed from the mailbox down onto my coffee table and find it setting there.
The envelopes scatter across the wood as I reach for my cell, wanting nothing
more than to get in touch with Embyr. To tell her I need her more than air right
now. My hands, hovering just above the phone, begin to tremble as I spot Ians
handwriting on a large white envelope.
My mind starts to go to war with itself. I want to open it. I want to feel
connected with Ian again, even if just for a moment. Read one of the last things
he wrote when he was alive. But I also want to keep it secure and save it for a
day when I dont feel so devastated. Open it on a day when Im not rushing to
run toward the woman I have fallen in love with.
Do I really want to read about Annie when I so desperately need Embyr in
my arms?
My curiosity over what the envelope holds wins.
Without thinking, my fingers slide under the sealed flap slowly my mind
must want to see what he found.
I reach in, pulling out a thick stack of papers. Clipped to the top is a note in
Ians chicken scratch that reads Im sorry, man. Call if you have questions.
My lungs lose every space of oxygen, knowing I cant call him. Hes gone.
I lower myself onto the couch and take a deep breath, hoping it will calm the
intense beating of my heart, but if Ian is apologizing, what Im going to find
cant be good. Why didnt he bring this to me himself? I just saw him the other
day. I flip Ians note face down onto the coffee table and come across the first
piece of information a birth certificate with Annies name on it.

Annie Lynn Barnes, born on May 12th.

A faint smile appears for a brief moment before grief over Ian clouds it, and I
hiccup a sob. My shaking hands place the copied birth certificate down on top of
his note. Among the pile is information on her parents. Her mothers suicide.
Her fathers untimely death. Their will and the sale of the house she grew up in.
I find her acceptance letter to Western Carolina University in Cullowhee, North
Carolina but my eyebrows furrow in confusion. At the top of the next piece of
paper, its titled Petition for Name Change.
I graze over each typed-in entry until I find Annies name as the petitioner.
Upon reading the legal document further my body temperature rises, and I can
feel my blood begin to boil over. My anguish over the loss of my best friend is
amplified by the betrayal of the girl who I have fallen so hard for. Annie Lynn
Barnes is now Embyr Ann Quinn.
Papers fly around the room as I bulldoze through them. A notification of
name change to WCU. Another one to her banks. A diploma with Embyrs name
on it.
My heart cracks even further when I see a young Embyr but grown up Annie
adorned with a cap and gown in a picture from her college graduation.
Question after question fills every inch of space in my mind and before I can
think twice, I pick up the lamp on my end table and launch it across the room.

Fifteen minutes ago:

With every single step toward Embyrs condo, my feet feel heavier. Like my
shoes are filled with cement and the bag I carry over my shoulder is full of
rocks. I lower my head, taking a deep breath, before lifting my hand and banging
on the door. The weight of the past twenty-four hours is crushing me, and I cant
hold the tears off any longer. She doesnt answer so I knock harder then
carelessly drop my hand to the side.
I hear the click of the lock and from my downward gaze I see the door swing
all the way open but stay rooted. I try to compose myself by keeping my anger
and my sorrow under control. I look up, seeing Embyr for the first time all over
again. I want her to comfort me. To hold me. Tell me everything is going to be
okay. I also want to scream at her beautiful face and fuck all the lies right out of
her. But instead I say, Ians dead. He died.
She reaches for me and I am paralyzed in her embrace. Casen, oh my God!
Are you okay? She notices my hesitation and immediately lets me go. Her
touch feels wrong now, and I feel my blood begin to boil all over again. I walk
over and set the bag down, lowering my head and curling my fists to my side so
I dont pick anything up and throw it.
No. Im not fucking okay, Embyr. I roar, my voice much harsher than I
have ever taken with her.
Her eyes widen, and she appears frightened. I never want a woman to flinch
in my presence but right now I dont give a shit. She looks up at me. Isis
there anything I can do?
I cant answer her. Im afraid that Im going to lose my shit. My body is at
war with my emotions. Im pissed. Im sad. Im defeated. Im broken.
Im so sorry, Casen. Thats terrible, she tells me, her voice barely a
whisper.
She wants to console. She wants to make all of it go away. I want that too,
but she fucking betrayed me. No. Thats not terrible. I involuntarily cry out.
You know whats terrible? Wanting nothing more than to find my girlfriend, the
woman I am in love with, and have her comfort me during the worst fucking day
of my life.
She takes four steps forward and tries to wrap her arms around me again.
Im right here, Casen. Let me do it.
Dont fucking touch me, Embyr! I shout, gently shoving her away from
me. Turning to my bag, I open it up and pull the package Ian sent to me. My next
words come out harsh. Or should I call you Annie?
Embyr moves without hesitation, running into the kitchen, shattering a glass
in her haste to grab some water. This must be the result of her many panic
attacks. She leaves the glass on the floor and fills another one, gulping every
ounce of it down. I stand there, watching her get caught up in her web of lies.
She turns to me, her knuckles white as she tightly grips the glass. Casen.
I stick my finger toward her in warning. Dont you say a fucking word! Not
one word.
You have to let me explain. She begs, side-stepping the shattered remains
of the glass. It reminds me of my heart shattered.
I toss the envelope her way. Explain what? Explain all of that? I highly
doubt you can dig yourself out of this hole.
I was going to tell you, I promise. She pleads.
When? WHEN? After I fell in love with you? I shake my head in disbelief.
Well too fucking late. I did. My feet move, but Im too angry to know what
Im doing. Memories of the past few weeks, our talks, our dates, the sex, flash
through my mind. I dont understand her at all. Was this all a game to you?
She attempts to get me to take a seat but Im too heated for it. If we could
just sit down and talk I can tell you everything. From Patrick to Evan. Ill tell
you everything you want to know.
What? Patrick and Evan. Why even bring that up? Unless Did you do that
to them? Did you set them up?
Her face pales. Yes, but please. Lets sit down.
I stalk toward her, getting right in her face. This is much deeper than I
thought it was. Yes? Did you fuck over Thad and Wesley too? Is that why
Wesley is suspected in setting the fire here?
Wesley?
Yeah, Wesley. My friend at the station told me he is a suspect. Care to tell
me why?
She flops back down into her chair. I was blackmailing him. He was
seducing a student.
Rage consumes me. I cant control my anger much longer. Un-fucking-
believable! So, all that shit? It was all your doing? This is so much more fucked
up than I thought.
Im sorry. Embyr starts to lose control of her tears. Her skirt suit wrinkles
in the process of her breakdown. I dont care. I just cant process any of this right
now.
Walking back over, I upend the opened bag and dump its contents out. Here
is your shit. I dont want it tainting my house.
Casen. Lets please talk. Her cries are now racking her whole body.
Do you know how much of a mind fuck it is to get home and have a letter
from the best friend who just fucking died in your mailbox? Then open it up and
find out the girl who you wanted to contact for years, the one you wanted to
make amends with for all the shitty things she went through in high school, was
right under your fucking tongue the night before. To find out the woman you
love, who has been underneath you and beside you, has been lying to you for
weeks now? The first person I opened up to.
Her green eyes are drowning in shame. I was going to tell you.
When, Embyr? When were you going to tell me? When I told you about
what our friends did to you in high school. The next words gut me to the core
when I say them. When we got married? After our first child or our second
because Lord fucking knows I could see myself marrying you.
I could see it. See her walking down the aisle dressed in all white but that
vision is now jaded. All I see is red.
We can still have that, Casen. She pursues me, but I thwart her. We can
get through the hurt of Ian and of what I did and move on. Move past it. Ill do
anything I can to make it up to you.
My stomach tightens with nausea. Oh my God! Did you have something to
do with Ian getting shot?
Her eyes open wide in shock. No! How could you even think I would do
something like that?
Because I dont fucking know you or what the fuck you are capable of! I
yell. You set out on this revenge scheme and who the hell knows what you had
on the agenda for Ian, Reece, and me. Though I believe breaking my fucking
heart into a million pieces would have done me inis doing me in.
She continues to beg me. Can we just start over, please?
Deflated, I tell her, Go get my stuff out of your room. I need to go. Ians
parents are waiting for us at his apartment.
She leaves me in her living room and I pace back and forth waiting for her to
come back. I shake my head, commenting to myself how Im never going to see
the inside of this place again. The balcony where I made her come for the first
time. The couch we nestled up to one another while we watched a movie. The
place where I thought I fell in love with her. Ill never see it again and that
thought burns my soul. It shakes me, scares me to think that I wont be with her
anymore. I just cant process all of it and then I turn to find a picture of us in a
small four by six frame. We took it the night of Ians birthday party. I pick it up
and allow a tear to fall down the side of my face. I wipe it away, torn between
the moment it held and the betrayal behind it. I still love her, but I cant trust her.
Shes lost me. Weve lost each other.
A crash in her room alerts me, and Im annoyed with how long it takes to
grab the menial number of things Ive left here. I call her name out, frustrated.
When she doesnt answer me, I walk back toward her room and find her
crumpled up on her bathroom floor, my stuff scattered around her.
Look at me. I command her but she doesnt comply.
Fuck this.
I reach down, grasping her chin between my fingertips. Her eyes are filled
with black tears and for a moment I feel as though I might regret this. I cant let
this go though. Im torn between what I know I need to do and what my heart
wants me to do. My anger wins out. Never mind. I dont want my stuff. Its
tainted. Dont you ever come near me ever again. And then my love for her
breaks through. I kiss her gently on the forehead, my lips burning in the process
and I leave her on the floor.
Ive lost two people today. One was taken, the other was by their choice.
 ONE

CASEN

I climb every step of the ten floors in Ians building, avoiding the elevator so
I have more time to compose myself before seeing everyone. I went home,
throwing the contents of the envelope everywhere, and took a moment before
heading this way. I know today is going to take a toll on all of us, and I dont
want to face that any sooner than I have to. Im sure the added weight of
Embyrs betrayal is written all over my face. I need to keep my focus on being
there for Ians family and not let what she did compound everything else. Like at
Embyrs condo, my shoes feel as though they carry twenty extra pounds each.
I arrive later than I said I would and when I reach Ians floor, I find that his
door is partially open. Soft cries can be heard coming from within. I take a deep
breath and push my way inside, careful not to draw too much attention to myself.
The door creaks, and the few that have already arrived look my way. All of their
faces carry mutual somber expressions. His parents, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, are on
the couch and a few people I dont recognize are milling about. His dads eyes
are overflowing with tears, and his silent sobs are shaking his body. It cuts me
deep into my core. Hes always been a rock solid guy who rarely shows
emotions. The weight of the situation makes him look ten years older than he
really is with his graying brown hair mussed up in all directions. I cant imagine
how it feels to lose a son so suddenly and so violently.
Casen. Mrs. Smith exhales a tight breath before rising to her feet and
opening her arms to me. I walk into them willingly, enveloping myself in her
comfort while allowing her to cry on me. Soaking my shirt with the endless tears
from losing her son.
I just dont understand. She sobs.
My body starts to shake, and I cant hold it in any longer. I allow every
emotion Ive suppressed to bleed out. I can no longer hold back the dam from
opening up with the tears Ive kept in for the past eight hours. Tears fall for the
loss of Ian, and they fall for the loss of Embyr. I dont know, Mrs. Smith. I
draw her into me tighter. I just dont know.
 She takes her place next to Ians dad, and I sit on the coffee table in front of
them. No one says a word but just being together is soothing. I feel as though
Im supposed to be doing a better job of comforting them but I dont know how.
Despite my best effort, I cant keep my thoughts straight.
Casen, do you mind grabbing me some water? Ians mom asks of me.
I get up and fill two glasses before bringing them over, setting them down
just as Ians phone rings on the coffee table. It sets off a chain reaction as Mrs.
Smith loses all control and slides down to the floor. His dad leans down,
enveloping her into his arms and combining his misery with hers.
I leave the glasses on the table and give them their privacy, picking up the
phone and shutting it off. Surprised the police didnt confiscate it, I place it in a
basket on top of the kitchen counter for safe keeping. I lean my hands on top of
the cold marble, dropping my head and praying to God to help this family
through their grieving.
An hour later, Ians apartment starts to overflow with friends and family.
Most carry food in with them, hoping it will comfort his parents. I look around
saddened that it wasnt too long ago that this place was crowded with some of
the same people. We blasted music, drank, and laughed while we were
celebrating his life. Now we come together to weep and mourn his death.
Reece arrives and through the sea of people points toward the patio. When I
step outside I realize I should have come out sooner. Its void of anyone but the
two of us. Im grateful for the reprieve from the soundtrack of anguish, if only
for a moment. I thank him when he hands me a cup of Starbucks coffee and we
stare out toward the city. The sounds of traffic and the people below are ignorant
to the heartache looming above them. It seems crazy that people are still living
their lives while I feel like mine is crumbling.
I called the Captain. Reece finally speaks, his voice fading out with each
word. He said to take as much time as we need. I watch his handshake as he
takes a sip of his coffee.
Who is going to cover us?
He takes a deep breath. He said not to worry about it but if its longer than
three days, we need to take an official leave.
I nod, wondering how Reece can seem so unaffected when we just lost our
best friend. Weve both known Ian since grade school. Reece and Ian were closer
than any of us, but then again, Reece didnt also have his heart ripped out of his
chest and dragged through the streets of Chicago by the woman he loves. Used
to love. Maybe thats why it seems like my world is crumbling.
Have you told Embyr? he asks.
Hearing her name out loud makes me physically ill. My stomach constricts,
and Im trying to keep the bile from rising in my throat.
Yes, I respond curtly, but I choose not to elaborate. I cant lie to Reece and
right now I really dont want to tell him who Embyr actually is. I know him.
Hell ask way too many questions that I either wont know the answer to or dont
want to think about at the moment. I just need to mourn the loss of my best
friend and try to forget that I ever met Embyr. Or Annie. Whatever her fucking
name is.
Seeming to get the hint, he changes the subject. You look like shit.
I take in his head to toe appearance. Where I could use a stick of deodorant,
he looks as though he just jumped out of the shower. Hes recently used a razor
where I have some day old scruff going on. I feel drained and defeated, but
him
Fuck you, asshole. I shove my elbow into his arm, careful not to spill any
coffee. Sorry I dont look like I was on the cover of GQ hours after losing my
friend.
Reeces head drops and shakes from side to side. I just needed to feel
normal for a minute. Wash everything away.
I directed a hardened stare at him. Nothing about today is normal, Reece. I
dont think well ever feel normal again.
The sliding glass door opens and Ians sister, Kate, peers through the
opening. Her face is splotchy and swollen. I set my coffee on the patio table and
walk over, widening the door and pulling her through it and into my arms. She
must have just arrived since I hadnt spotted her before we came out there. Its
been a long time since Ive seen little Kate. After high school, she went to the
University of Michigan and ended up finding a job in the northern suburb of
Lake Forest. Im in awe at how much she has matured since the last time we
hung out. Her soft body molds to mine gently. A floral scent infiltrates my senses
and calms me. Im so sorry, Kate.
She hiccups a sob and burrows herself into my shoulder. I hold her not nearly
long enough before Reece clears his throat from behind us. She hastily releases
me and wraps her arms around him for a quick hug.
 A few rogue tears stray and she brushes them away with her fingers before
using her light purple, long sleeve shirt to wipe underneath her nose. With a
sniffle, she points back toward the apartment. The police are here. We have to
leave.
What? Reece and I both say simultaneously while walking back toward the
patio door.
Arriving inside we find uniformed officers going over a piece of paper with
Ians mom. Her face is laced with fear as she holds it out toward us. They dont
think it was random. She cries. They think it was someone he knew.
I take the paper from her, reading the search warrant quickly before handing
it back.
My whole body tenses at the thought that someone who knew Ian may have
wanted him dead. To believe it was random and a stranger is tough, but if it was
someone he was acquainted with, well thats not something I can wrap my mind
around.
The officers, apparently done with the niceties, attempt to herd us out like
cattle.
I walk over to Jackson, an officer Im familiar with. Whats going on,
man?
He shakes his head. I wish I could tell you. Were all torn up about Ian, but
all I can say is this place needs to clear out.
I nod and join Reece and Kate in the hallway. Ians parents and everyone else
have already taken the elevator downstairs. Neither of them says a word but
from their expression, I know they are just as confused and concerned as I am.
Who would be so cold and heartless to do this to Ian?
As we wait for the elevator to arrive on our floor, Kate turns to me. Are you
going home? Her deep brown eyes are bloodshot and vulnerable. Her light
blonde hair piled high on top of her head. She looks utterly distraught.
Im headed that way now. My answer comes out thick, so I clear my throat.
She pulls on the bottom of her shirt, looking nervous. Can I go with you? I
just cant be around my parents right now. All I want to do is lay down. Theyll
want to talk and I dont have it in me.
I dont blame her. Im exhausted and want to do the same but I hesitate to say
yes, knowing Embyr might hate it.
 I still for a moment, paralyzed by the gut-wrenching realization that I almost
forgot her deceit. It creeps back in. Who fucking cares what Embyr would think?
Kate is hurting, and Im not going to turn her down. She needs a place to mourn
in her own way.
Sure, I tell her, just as the elevator doors slide open.
Reece side eyes me once we step inside. Maybe you should call Embyr.
Kate looks between the two of us. Who is Embyr?
Reece answers before I can. Embyr is his girlfriend.
She turns to me. You have a girlfriend?
I look straight at Reece. Not anymore.
At first he looks confused and then his face contorts into a look Ive never
seen before, one that I cant seem to place.
The elevator dings, inviting us to exit, and I tug on his jacket as he walks in
front of me across the lobby.
What was that look for, Reece? I quietly ask, not to alarm Kate. Something
is up and I dont like it. It makes me seethe with rage.
He shakes his head and attempts to shrug me off him. What look, Casen?
I grip him tighter. You know.
No. I dont fucking know. He shoulders himself out of my grasp and gives
me a hard stare before walking off.
Reece and I have been friends for a long fucking time. Hes lying and I know
it.
***
Kate walks into my apartment ahead of me and stops in the middle of the
entryway. Were you robbed?
I look around at my exceedingly disheveled place. The lamp I broke still lies
in pieces while my mail is scattered across the floor. I walk over, picking up the
graduation picture, and shove everything into the envelope Ian had sent me
before Kate sees it. The knot in my stomach returns again over his loss. No, I
wasnt robbed. Just pissed.
She circles the living room, her blonde hair starting to fall from the ponytail
holder. I cant help but observe how much growing up she has done in the past
couple years. She is three years my junior but I couldnt help notice how
beautiful she was back in high school. Ian warned me to keep my hands off her,
but it never mattered. I wanted Annie back then.
Her body looks like that of a runner and the tight Capri workout pants she is
wearing shows it. She catches me checking her out, making me feel like a huge
asshole but doesnt say anything. I chastise myself for shamelessly taking in her
body.
Do you want anything to eat or drink? I ask, attempting to get myself to go
in one direction as opposed to three different ones.
No, I think I just want to lie down.
I nod and show her where the guest bedroom and bathroom are. Make
yourself at home. If you need anything, just let me know.
She turns from the doorway to the bedroom and wraps her arms around my
waist. Thank you, Casen.
Youre welcome. I kiss the top of her forehead and let her go.
Walking back into my living room, I sigh at the sight of papers scattered
everywhere. After picking them up, I grab the broom from the kitchen and
sweep up the glass from the lamp before cracking open a beer and falling into
the sofa. The ice cold liquid slides down my throat, instantly relaxing me. I
didnt realize how tense I had been. All of my muscles ache. Im sure walking up
ten flights of stairs didnt help. My head falls backward on the edge of the couch
and my eyes involuntarily shut.
What a fucking day, I whisper to myself.
Ive been hit with two crushing blows today and I dont know which one to
focus on first. My mind switches between them at an alarming pace. One minute
Im angry with Embyr. The next Im missing her touch. The next Im mourning
the loss of one of my best friends, and then angry at whoever did this to him.
I cant even believe the police think its someone Ian knew. How? What leads
them to that conclusion? Id almost bet it was someone he was tailing or working
for. He had some pretty shady clients from the stories he had told me. I just hope
they find the motherfucker and fast. We cant get Ian back but we can nail the
asshole that did it to the wall.
Then theres Embyr. What about her? I know its going to take a long time to
get over what she has done. Was she trying to make me fall in love with her and
then crush me? If that was her intent, she made good on it. Ive never fallen for
someone as fast as I did with her. She was sweet and spicy all in one. We not
only matched on an emotional level but the physical connection was off the
charts. She liked it just as dirty as I did. Or maybe that was a game too. She was
trying to make it seem as though we were perfect for each other on every level. I
just dont know what is real anymore.
I decide to pull my phone out of my pocket and take it off silent. The break
from it has been nice. I see Ive missed three calls from my mom, four from
Embyr and one voicemail, but its the seven texts that have my heart racing.
Embyr: Casen, please come back.
Embyr: Can you pick up your phone? I want to talk.
Embyr: Im so sorry.
Embyr: Please forgive me.
Embyr: You have to let me explain. Please. Im begging. Fifteen minutes,
Casen.
Embyr: I want to be there for you.
Embyr: I love you.
I pretend that those messages arent affecting me and hit my voicemail. God
has mercy on me because its from my mom. I dont think I could hear Embyrs
voice right now. Its bad enough I had to read what she wrote.
Casen. My mom softly cries. I just heard about Ian. You must be
devastated. Call me back. I love you, son.
My mothers voice has a calming effect on me. Even if its just for a brief
moment I feel as though I can breathe. It cant last because I cant ignore Embyr.
Im not that guy.
Me: Im sorry too.
She replies almost immediately.
Embyr: Let me come over to talk.
Me: No.
Embyr: Tomorrow?
I dont answer her. I cant give in. She tore me to shreds. Im not sure when
or how I can forgive what shes done.
Casen? Kate appears in front of me. My eyes slide up her bare legs to her
purple shirt that hardly covers her boy short underwear. My gaze finds hers and
she has tears falling down both cheeks. Can you just hold me?
I pat the spot next to me, not wanting to deny a sister grieving her brother.
She slips in beside me, her head falling into my lap, and I grab the blanket over
the back of the couch and place it over her body.
 TWO

EMBYR

The day is frigid, and the sun has yet to make an appearance from behind the
graying clouds. The weather conditions are fitting for a wake. Dark and bleak. I
step out of Trinitys car and adjust my black pencil skirt. She stares at me over
the roof and gives me an encouraging smile despite my apprehensiveness. I dont
know what I would have done without her the past couple days. She has not only
been my rock but also my inside informant. My link to Casen because despite
what he said, Im not giving up. I cant. Ive fallen so hard for him, and I know
we can get through this. Im just not sure he is ready to see me, or if this is an
appropriate time for our first meeting since the shit hit the fan. Which explains
why Im shaking with nerves.
Tomorrow Ians family will lay him to rest in the same cemetery that my
parents are buried in. It was just three days ago that he passed and even though
initially I wasnt sure I should come, Trinity asked that I attend with her. Reece
stayed in his childhood home last night so I told her Id come up here with her.
She wanted to be here and support Reece but knew there was a chance he would
be busy. I dont want Casen to think I came to push him into a corner. Ive texted
him a few times over the past couple days, but he still refuses to see me. I
conveniently left out the fact, during my many texts, that I would be here today. I
didnt want him to tell me not to come. I came to pay my respects and to support
my best friend who didnt want to do this alone. However, I am anxious to see
Casen.
Trinity and I havent talked much about her conversations with Reece. Im
not even sure Reece knows I told Trinity everything. Thats not anything I want
to bring up.
I was going to chicken out and offer to stay in the car but I knew she would
just push me to get out. Now we are making our way down the sidewalk toward
the funeral home. I hate these places. They bring back terrifying memories for
me from the loss of my parents. They were older though. Ian was so young.
Sadness creeps in and I start to tear up for the loss of him. Even after what he did
to me back in high school, it was a life cut too short. It was senseless. This
morning they had a news conference to update everyone on the investigation.
They believe it was someone he knew. I just cant imagine.
As we step off the path and shortcut through the dampened grass, my heels
sink. I hold onto Trinity for support. Ive never been so nervous in my life. The
white double doors are propped open and I cant look up when we enter. Im
afraid of what Casens eyes will hold once they meet mine. Will they still be
angry? Will they be forgiving? I hope like hell they are the latter.
I glimpse over at Trinity. She looks well put together wearing a knee length
sundress with a navy blue cardigan. Its the most modest I have ever seen her.
Even her makeup is minimal. I, on the other hand, look like a train wreck. Ive
held it together at my new job at the Caliber Hotel during the day but cry for
hours on end at night. My eyes are bloodshot and I have probably lost a couple
of pounds. My dark shift dress is looser than normal and no large amount of
concealer will hide the new, dark circles.
Trinity taps my arm and whispers, Hes not here yet.
My nerves spike. I was almost prepared to see him right away but now I have
to sit here and wait, not knowing when he will show up. My stomach has been in
constant knots. I squeeze my hands together to calm the shaking.
The funeral home is filled with friends and family, growing as more people
filter in behind us. I spot Mr. and Mrs. Smith sitting in the seats in front of Ians
casket. Its closed, which leads me to believe the gunshot was somewhere very
visible and they couldnt make him look appropriate for an open casket. Mrs.
Smith is looking up at an older lady who seems to be consoling her. Their hands
are clasped, and Mr. Smith has his arm loosely draped around his wife.
I glance around the rooms, looking to see if I recognize anyone. Im not even
sure any of the PITCREW members, besides Casen and Reece, will attend. I
dont know if Ian kept in contact with anyone else. There is no one I see that
sparks a memory except for a beautiful blond who is sobbing in the corner of the
room. Her black skirt suit hugs her slender body as she wipes her tears from
under each eye, and then blows her nose. I try to place her but come up short.
I observe a few uniformed police officers scanning the room. If they think it
was someone whom Ian was associated with, they must be looking at all of us as
prospective suspects. I search the room as well, now with new eyes ones that
look for clues as to who could have done this.
Trinity drags me by my forearm away from my investigation, and we make
our way through the other mourners, toward Ians parents. The older lady has
started to walk away and Trinity takes her place. Mr. and Mrs. Smith. She
greets them, extending her hand. My name is Trinity. Im Reeces friend. They
both silently take her hand. She motions to me next to her. And this is Embyr.
Shes Casens girlfriend. Were both so sorry for your loss.
I cringe at her introduction. That is something that I dont want to delve into.
What if they say something to him when he arrives?
Nice to meet you both, his mother responds, wiping a rogue tear from her
face. Im glad those boys have found some beautiful ladies. They are both like
sons to me.
Mrs. Smith was always nice to me back in high school. Her husband knew
my dad. They had all gone to high school together. When the video came out of
me having sex with their son, I remember seeing them in the grocery store. Mr.
Smith had turned and walked away. However, Ians mom had found me a few
aisles over. She didnt say a word. She just pulled me in for a hug and
apologized. I felt like the world was against me, and she was always so nice.
Her tears come down like a waterfall and the beautiful blond I noticed before
comes to Mrs. Smiths side, embracing her and ignoring the two of us. Seeing
her with Mrs. Smith sparks a memory. Kate. Ians sister. I always thought she
was the sweetest. She was with Ians parents in the store that day. She didnt say
a word but never seemed to join in with the mob of haters. His whole family had
been nice. Except Ian. Asshole. I inwardly scold myself for thinking badly of a
dead man. A dead man whose wake I am currently attending. I take a few deep
breaths to get myself straight.
We leave his family so the next person can express their sympathy, walking
past the casket to the adjacent room. I spot Alexia and Aaron. Even though I just
saw her last week when I had lunch with Trinity and the both of them at Ians
party, it seems like that was forever ago. Now, her pregnant belly is more
obvious to me and I smile at the new life being formed. Her hands are cradling it
as though it is now outside the womb and her husband has his arm around her
shoulders. Their faces are forlorn and somber. I didnt know Aaron in high
school but Alexia and I were in classes together. I have a feeling she may have
recognized me, and I dont even think if, at this point, she asked I would deny it.
My body feels almost relieved that my secret is out, despite losing Casen.
We are halfway to the refreshments when Trinity missteps. Maybe this was
a bad idea, she whispers.
I raise my head, looking through the throngs of people when I zero in on
Casen walking through the double doors. He doesnt see me yet but I see him,
and it rattles me. I feel like at any moment my stomach will reject the small
snack I ate on the way here. I havent seen him since he left me on the bathroom
floor. The light filters in from behind him giving him an angelic look but also a
very lost look. I want to bring him into my embrace and comfort him because I
can see he is hurting. His unshaven face has produced a short beard, and it
frames it nicely. Hes wearing a white dress shirt and textured black tie
underneath a dark suit.
Reece is by his side, seemingly holding Casen up. From my view, it looks
like he may have had a few drinks before they arrived.
Reeces frustrated eyes scan the room, coming to Trinity through the crowd
before they zero in on me. His eyebrows morph into a scowl as he shakes his
head in disbelief. Casen detaches from him, without spotting us, and walks
toward the room where Ian lies. Reece takes the opportunity to stride toward us.
He looks at me but I know he is speaking to Trin. Hey. Thanks for coming.
He checks his watch. Im sorry Im late.
She wraps her arms around his body and squeezes him. Its fine. Were
okay.
His gaze never leaves mine as he kisses her gently on the forehead. The last
time I had a conversation with Reece he owned up to releasing the video
accidentally. I feel like he was remorseful when we spoke. Casen had said both
Reece and Ian later became ashamed of what they had done. I want to forgive
them all. That is something I have come to terms with over the past couple days.
I cant live my life feeling like I have a tight grip around my neck that wont
allow me to breathe. If I forgive them, and I get Casen to forgive me then I know
my lungs will be able to hold enough air to thrive. Right now I am just surviving.
I miss Casen. I miss his touch. I miss his aggressiveness. I miss him bringing me
to the brink. I miss us.
My eyes scan the room, trying to give Trin and Reece a moment of privacy,
hoping I can avoid Casen at all costs. I spot Alexia and Aaron, again, in the
corner whispering to one another. Im not scared of being found out anymore.
Im more nervous about the confrontation Ill face when they find out Ive lied
to them about who I was. Imagine if Patrick or Wesley knew. I clutch my
stomach at that thought. Its terrifying.
Reece releases Trinity, releasing their clasped hands. I should go pay my
respects. Ill be right back.
 Trin turns to me, her eyes widening. Are you okay? You look pale.
I shake my head to rid the dark thoughts of a Patrick retaliation infiltrating
my mind. Yeah. I mean, no. I shouldnt have come here. Would it be okay if I
left? Im sorry. I know you want me here but its just too much for me.
Okay. She squeezes my right hand, comforting. Let me see if Reece can
take me home later.
She disappears to follow Reece into the other room. I feel horrible leaving
her but I cant stay any longer. As if being here wasnt torture enough, its what
Casen is doing that solidifies my decision to get the fuck out of here. His arms
are wrapped around Kate in an embrace. She seems to be soothing him as much
as he is consoling her. Just seeing him touching another woman feels like a knife
is being twisted into my heart. Im supposed to be the one by Casens side. Im
the one who should have him in my arms, telling him that everything will be
okay.
I look away, grabbing my arms tightly. Everyone is with someone and Im
standing here alone, with no one. The room starts to tilt and goose bumps prickle
my skin. I feel as though eyes are on now me, and the walls are closing in. My
heart begins to beat harder and faster, and Im sure at any moment it will burst
through my ribs and out of my skin. A panic attack is creeping up my body from
my toes to my lungs. I have to get out of here.
Making a mad dash for the doors, I push past the crowd of people who are
attempting to get inside. I hear grumblings about how rude Im being but I dont
care. If I dont breathe in some fresh air I might have this attack inside the walls
of this funeral home. No one wants to see that, especially me.
Once outside, I find the clouds have dissipated slightly and the vitamin D of
the sun hits my face. I relish in the heat for a moment before I inhale a lung full
of fresh air and fall back against the bricks of the building.
Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Deep breath in. Deep breath out.
My eyes shut, and my head drops to my chest when I finally start to calm.
My inhales and exhales have returned to normal but it doesnt last long.
Embyr. He calls.
Casen.
The sound of his voice is like lightning to my body. All my senses switch to
high alert. I can hear the muttering of those around us and the birds chirping. I
can see the rapid rising and falling of his chest, and his clenched fists. I can
smell the rain that fell earlier, dampening the ground. The brick wall feels harsh
against my arms, and I can only speak his name like a breathless whisper.
Casen.
He hesitates before shortening the distance between us with purpose. He
traps me against the wall, his face growing ever closer until its mere inches from
my own. He still owns my body. That much I know from its draw to his. His
breath caresses my cheek, one, two, three times until his soft voice finds my
ears. What are you doing here?
My voice comes out small and timid. I wanted to pay my respects to Ian.
His nose travels down the side of my neck, and he inhales when it meets my
shoulder. I could sense you were here. You make me weak, Embyr. I want to be
strong.
My eyes flutter shut. Casen. Im so sorry.
He pushes off the bricks, giving himself a good three feet between the two of
us now. The veins in his neck are popping out. My body is still in overload from
the small tease of contact he just gave me. A switch flips and hes gone from
desperate to angry.
No! he harshly whispers, pointing a finger at me. I cant have you here.
Casen. I step closer to him, begging. Please.
You dont get to be here while I mourn my friend. His voice rises.
Leave! The forlorn look is replaced by disgust. When I dont budge his
command gets louder. LEAVE!
In an instant, Trinity is by my side and Reece has Casens bicep. You
okay? she asks checking my face for who knows what.
Annie is just fine, Trin. He sneers. Or are you in on this too? Is your name
even Trinity?
Reece pulls Casen back. Dont, Casen. Not here, not now.
Casen shrugs him off and Trinity takes a protective stance in front of me.
Go. Casen growls, just before he falls to the ground.
Without a word, Trinity hands me her keys, and I waste no time running to
the car, but not before I hear Casen tell Reece, I love her, man. How could she
do this to me?


 THREE

CASEN

Four days. Thats how long it has been since Ive seen her face. I thought I
could deal with it if she came here today but if the wet grass dampening my
pants is any indication of how well I am handling it, then I was way fucking
wrong.
I feel so many mixed emotions. I want to pull her body into me and tell her
how much I love her, which surprises the shit out of me. I thought I had the
mindset now to just let her go, but then she spoke. Just hearing her say please
sparked the memory of her in her apartment begging me to understand why she
was doing the things that she was doing.
Casen, man. Reece tugs on my arm. Get up.
Unwillingly, I rise to my feet and straighten myself out, noticing a dozen or
so people watching me. They heard me profess my love for someone deceitful.
They dont know the things she has done, so I just look like a goddamn fool.
Reece pats me on the shoulder. Lets go next door and get a drink.
I nod because I cant get myself together inside of a funeral home. Okay, but
I need to let Ians parents know.
He follows me in, and I spot Kate sitting between her parents silently praying
so I give them a moment before I interrupt.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith, I quietly say to them. Im going to head out.
Mrs. Smith stands up and pulls me into her. She is warm and thankfully her
tears have stopped flowing, for now. I doubt there will be a day that she doesnt
cry for the loss of her son. I hug her tighter with that thought. She lessens her
hold and looks up to me. I got to meet your girlfriend Embyr. She smiles. The
first smile I have seen from her in the past couple days.
Oh, shes not
She squeezes me firmly again. I am so happy for you, Casen. You deserve to
be happy and she is beautiful. Bring her to dinner sometime.
 I cant tell her Embyr isnt mine. I dont want to have that discussion. I just
nod and turn to Mr. Smith, shaking his hand.
Am I okay to stay at your house tonight again, Casen? Kate asks after a
quick side hug.
I kiss the top of her forehead. Of course. You shouldnt have a problem
getting in.
I gave Kate the key to my place the other day. Shes been staying at my
house since she arrived from Lake Forest. Though she could stay at her parents,
she wanted to have somewhere to go to mourn in her own way without having to
go back to her empty apartment. I offered to let her stay at my place for the
duration of her stay.
Reece says his goodbyes as well and I take one more look at the closed
casket, tapping a hand on it before we leave.
The restaurant next door has an adjacent parking lot to the funeral home so
we walk over, leaving our cars where they are. I was able to time my arrival with
Reece so I didnt have to walk into the wake alone. I didnt think for even a
moment that Embyr would be there.
I dont understand why you said that to Trinity, Reece says as we walk
through the crowded restaurant.
I shrug noncommittally. Id say Im sorry but right now I dont even know
whats real anymore.
We pull out stools at the bar in the back of the restaurant. Do you want to
tell me whats going on with Embyr? You havent said a word about it all week.
The bartender takes our drink orders before I answer. I dont even know
how to tell you this, Reece.
His face is stone. Unmoving. He is just waiting for an explanation. I havent
told him about Embyrs and my break up.
You know how I called Embyr Annie?
He nods, looking down into his glass.
Embyr is really Annie Barnes.
Nothing. No intake of breath. No gasp. No wide eyes. Reece is like a statue,
not bothering to look me in the face. Im confused. I would think that Reece
would have some sort of response to finding out that Embyr is really Annie.
THE Annie.
 Then it clicks. You knew! I yell, pushing myself up and away from the bar.
You fucking knew the whole time.
Reece stands up too. Wait, wait, wait. No, man. I didnt know the whole
time. Sit back down.
When I dont he continues. Ian told me last week when he came into the
firehouse.
I rack my brain to recall when he was there and I remember him pulling
Reece into another room. I shake my head. Why didnt you all tell me then?
He sighs as I sit back down. He wanted me to talk to Embyr and tell her that
she needed to be the one to tell you. I spoke to her the night we all met at the bar.
The night before Ianthat night. I told her I knew and that she needed to
confess to you as soon as possible. Otherwise, you would find out when Ian sent
you the information.
I look down at my intertwined fingers. Why are you so calm about this,
Reece? You know she was trying to get back at us. You were right. You were
right the other day when you said it was weird that members of the PITCREW
were having these life altering things happening to them. She was behind it all.
She admitted to it! You dont even know what she was going to do to you. How
can you be so calm?
When he doesnt answer right away I look over, finding him staring off. I
released that tape, Casen. It was an accident but I released it and even though
what she was doing was wrong, I probably would have deserved whatever it was
that she had planned.
That doesnt need a response. I have always known that Reece may have
been the one behind the tape getting out. It was his study group that had been
forwarding it to everyone they knew. It was at his home. It was on his computer.
Of course he was somehow responsible. This is the first time hes ever admitted
to it.
When Ian told me he found out who Embyr really was, I knew I needed to
get her to admit everything to you. I thought it would hurt more if you found out
from Ian. I guess it didnt matter. You broke up with her anyway.
I didnt find out from Embyr, I tell him. I got Ians mail the morning he
passed away, and before I went to her condo. All I wanted that morning was to
be near her but then I opened that envelope and my entire world changed.
That sucks, Casen. Im sorry.
 We finish our beers and order another round.
Do you think she loves you? Like, really loves you and not just a game?
My mind reels at his question. Does she love me? Ive had a lot of time to
think about it over the past couple days. Even with Kate in my house, its been
very lonely. Quiet. I can do nothing else but think. When I left her at her condo, I
was sure she wasnt in love with me but the more I thought about it and
dissected every single moment in our so-called relationship, I started to think
maybe, just maybe she was. At the beginning, she seemed stand-offish. Like she
couldnt tolerate being near me but always seemingly attracted to me, and then
something shifted. It was like a light bulb went off and our relationship started to
just be easy. She was letting go and letting me in. I was all hers. She had me
wrapped from the moment I saw her in Jedis. Maybe it was because
subconsciously I knew. Its quite a mind fuck to realize that you fell in love with
two women, without realizing they were one in the same.
Im fucking sure she does.
Okay. He turns his body toward me. Then why are you pushing her away?
You love her?
Because she betrayed us all, Reece! I yell, slamming my hand down onto
the bar. I love her but I dont want to.
Casen, look at me man. He commands and I listen. Yes, she was trying to
fuck over us all and in the process, she fell for you. Just like back in high school.
Annie, or Embyr, or whatever her name is always had such a strong connection
with you. I saw it. Everyone could see it. Everyone but you. What we did? He
shakes his head. It was so wrong and excuse me for being blunt here but you
stood by and watched it happen! For her to still fall in love with you all these
years later, in the middle of some diabolical plan to get back at us should tell you
something.
What? What could that tell me, Reece? That shes weak?
He shakes his head. No. She isnt weak. If she loves you, even after you
stood by and watched us do terrible things to her, then she forgives you. Why
cant you do the same?
Everything is hazy. Reece is right. If she can forgive me, why cant I let this
go? Shouldnt love conquer all? She willingly set out to ruin all our lives! I just
cant get over that. Not yet. I need time. I keep thinking about the past couple
weeks and she had more than a few opportunities to tell me what was going on. I
even told her the story about what happened back in high school! She saw Ians
text about Annie for Christs sake. So many missed opportunities.
Im mad too. I wish that things went differently. We just have to deal with
the cards we are dealt and right now youve been dealt a shitty hand. Weve just
lost a best friend and on top of that, youve lost a girlfriend. I cant imagine. Im
just so sorry... he trails off before adding, for everything.
***
Its close to nine p.m. when I stumble into my home. Reece and I had our fair
share of beers and a couple Ubers were called. I needed to get home and get rest
before the funeral tomorrow. I find Kate eating a sandwich on the couch.
You looked tanked. She half-heartedly giggles before moving to the far end
of the couch, giving me ample room.
Im sorry I left the wake, I slur, slouching into the back of the couch.
She shrugs. Its okay. It all seemed like an endless line of people wanting to
express their condolences. After a dozen or so, they all start to blend in with one
another.
I nod but dont answer.
Do you want me to make you a sandwich? she asks. I look over and take
her in. Shes wearing an oversized sweatshirt and shorts that barely cover
anything.
Im okay. I should be taking care of you. You just lost your brother.
She rolls her eyes. Im so tired of people trying to take care of me. I cant
tell you how many times people offered to get me food.
I shrug. They are just trying to make things easy for you. Help where they
can.
I know. I just wish for once people wouldnt treat me like Im fragile. She
stands and deposits her plate in the sink before walking over to my bar. Want a
shot? I could really use a shot.
Sitting up straight, I nod. Why the hell not?
Four shots later, Kate and I are telling embarrassing stories about Ian. Im
way past drunk and headed into trashed. A knock at the door halts our laughing
and Kate offers to answer it. I go into the kitchen and pour myself some water
before hearing the commotion.
 Why are you here?
Well, you came to this house, why are you here? Kate responds. Who the
hell are you?
Casens girlfriend! I hear Embyr answering back, and I drop my plastic cup
onto the floor. Not sure if its the shock of hearing Embyrs voice for the second
time today or the alcohol. Probably both.
At my door is Kate, barely dressed, in a standoff with Embyr.
Kate scoffs. Casen doesnt have a girlfriend.
Embyr peers past her, looking beautiful yet so very broken and finds me
staring back. Didnt take you very long, huh, Casen?
She turns away from the door. Maybe its the alcohol or the talk with Reece,
but I take off and run after her. Kate lets me by as I race past her in all my
alcohol infused glory. I hear my door shut behind me just as I catch up to Embyr.
I grab her upper arm, stopping her in her tracks, and turn her to face me. What
are you doing here?
She rips her arm away from me. I came here to talk to you. Looking past
me she adds, But I see youre busy. And you smell like a bar!
My eyes widen. Are you serious? You cant come over here and pitch a
fucking fit after I found out what youre doing! My voice booms off the
hallway walls. My conversation with Reece is long gone. She makes me so
fucking angry.
Was. She states, her shoulders slump.
Was, what?
She nervously shifts from foot to foot. Was doing. I was doing all that stuff.
Not anymore. Her gaze searches mine. Things changed.
My heart starts to beat one hundred times faster. She cant do this. She cant
seep into me and make me forget all the bullshit she did. What she put me
through. What she put my friends through.
I dont care. You need to leave. I point toward the elevators. She needs to
do it soon before I pull her into my arms. My heart and alcohol are leading this
conversation and not my brain. I need to rectify that.
Do you still love me? she asks, tears cascading down the side of her cheek.
I heard you tell Reece you did outside the funeral home.
 I take a moment to think about what I should say. I dont want to give her the
satisfaction. I want to hurt her just as much as she hurt me. I want to lie, but I
cant. I still love you.
Embyr lessens the gap between us, reaching out, looking for comfort. I step
back, out of reach and watch her hand fall lifelessly to her side. You have to
go, I tell her again.
Are you sleeping with her? Her breasts graze against my chest. I can feel
myself becoming one with her.
I lean in real close, inhaling her scent. If I was, it wouldnt be any of your
business.
She shudders. I miss you, Casen.
Im so drawn to her that I cant help what comes next I grab her by her
neck and crash my lips to hers. They are soft, relenting, as I push my tongue
inside and infuse it with hers. The tenseness in her body releases as she grabs my
shirt and pulls me deeper into her.
Embyr, I whisper across her lips, blissful. But that only lasts a moment.
Not Embyr. Annie.
I pull myself away from her. Leave. I command.
She stands there as I walk back into my place, closing the door on us. On her.
 FOUR

CASEN
TWO MONTHS LATER

Im fucking spent. Reece complains, practically falling out of the fire

truck, minutes after we return from a car accident just a block away. It seems like
weve had nonstop calls most of the night and I feel as exhausted as he looks.
Im halfway thinking about taking a nap at the firehouse when the next shift
comes in. Im not sure Ill make it back home before my eyes involuntarily shut.
Me too. I sigh, following him into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.
You have any plans today?
He looks down, picking imaginary lint off his sweat-stained shirt. Im
helping Trin move into the new place with Em.
I shake my head. He calls her Em like they are best friends now. We dont
speak about her, or even Trinity, which makes me feel like a real asshole because
I know she means a lot to him. I also suspect he is trying to be a good friend by
not bringing up Embyr in our conversations. I just dont think its helping me get
over her by not talking about what happened. Or about anything. Im so far from
over her. The time has not been helpful like I had thought, and the kiss we shared
in my hallway plays over and over in my mind on a daily basis. I lost a lot of my
normalcy the day Ian died and I found out about Embyr. Actually, my life had
been far from ordinary since the day I met Embyr.
Ive thought a lot about what Reece said at the restaurant the day of Ians
wake. All those years ago we let bad things happen to her. How could I not
expect her to be angry with that? My mind though, it cant wrap around the
thought that she and Annie are one in the same. The sweet, innocent teenage girl
morphed into a jaded adult who wanted revenge. Some days I dont blame
Embyr. We ruined her but I cant get myself to forgive her for not telling me
after she claims she had fallen in love with me. To say my mind is running in
circles could be the understatement of the century.
My intention behind finding Annie was to make sure she was okay and ask
her for forgiveness. So why shouldnt I forgive Embyr? She didnt make Patrick
a thief. Wesley had already been disturbed for so long, and Evan, he was a
scumbag cheater for years. I just cant help but wonder what she was planning
for Ian and Reece because I know slicing my heart into the tiniest of pieces was
my revenge. Im still trying to super glue it back together. The shitty part is that
my heart still wants Embyr and my brain tells me to run, which is why Ive
successfully avoided her for the past sixty-three days. But whos counting?
I try to play it off like Im okay with him being buddy-buddy with the
woman I hate to love and love to hate. You sure you have enough energy for
that?
He shrugs, leaning into the doorway, his eyes meeting mine. He is most
likely wondering if Im going to fly off the handle with the mention of Embyr. I
know he forgives her because he was mostly responsible for what happened back
in high school. Me? Im trying to let it go. Im just wondering what happens
when I finally do absolve her. Will I want her back? If I did, is she even still
single?
I dont have a choice. They dont have anyone else to help them. He lifts
his arms and flexes his biceps. Im the muscle.
My eyebrows scrunch together. Its just the three of you moving all their
stuff out?
Well, just stuff from Embyrs condo. Last week Trinity moved in her things
that were at her sisters place. She didnt have much since she left all her
furniture at Embyrs, and they just closed on the sale of her condo.
I nod. My heart palpitating before I ask, Do you want help?
The water bottle he is holding freezes midway to his mouth, his eyebrows
shooting up. You know Embyr will be there?
I squint my eyes in his direction. I know, jackass. You have one minute to
take my help or Im going to go home and take a nap.
Reece contemplates for a moment before he smiles. Okay. Ill take the help
but only if youre sure you can handle being around her. I know its been a while
since youve seen one another.
Keeping myself from growling, I brush past him. Ill be fine. Just text me
what time to meet you over there.
***
 Its just after lunch when I find myself walking down the hallway toward
Embyrs old condo. The last time I was here was to confront her. It feels like so
long ago and yet no time has passed since. As I near her door, I can see its wide
open and I hear Beyonces voice filtering into the hall. When I step inside the
doorway my entire body becomes paralyzed. I forgot how much of an effect she
has on me, but this is different. This is something I have never seen before. Not
from Annie. Not from Embyr. What I encounter is a woman looking completely
carefree. Embyr is in a light blue t-shirt that is so see through you can see her
royal colored sports bra underneath. Her white shorts cling tightly to her ass and
I have to take a deep breath and not let all the blood rush south, where I sure as
hell dont want it to be. Her hair looks shorter, though I cant tell for sure with it
up in a ponytail. Shes lost some weight since I last saw her at the wake but her
body looks to be more toned. Her narrow hips are swaying side to side as she
sings and pulls down some wine glasses from the top of her cabinet. She quickly
wraps one up and then proceeds to grab the next. Her voice is beautiful, and Im
astounded by what Im looking at. Annie was always shy, reserved and Embyr
was always abrasive and sexy. This, this is new.
I feel a hard shove from behind me. Go in, man! Reece shouts, scaring
Embyr. She shrieks and drops the glass on the floor causing it to shatter.
Shes always breaking shit.
Dont move! I command, striding over. You dont have shoes on.
Her eyes are wide and shes rendered speechless as I take her up into my
arms and carry her over to the doorway. Her shirt slips and my hands come into
contact with the soft skin of her stomach. I feel the goose bumps make their
appearance underneath my fingertips and almost drop her next to her shoes. Its
like she burned my skin. I dont think I was prepared enough for this.
Put those on. I point to her flip flops and walk back toward her kitchen
where Reece is already sweeping up the broken glass. I pretend as if holding her
had no effect on me.
We work together to clean up the remaining shards of glass. Embyr and Trin
are both in the doorway, staring at me like Im a sideshow. Embyr walks toward
us after weve finished, turning the music down. Casen. She barely breathes
my name out. I cant hear it coming from her lips. Its too much.
I swallow. Im here to help Reece move the big items. Thats it.
Her face falls, but I cant help noticing she dropped the contacts and her eyes
are no longer emerald. They are Annies eyes. The deepest shade of chocolate.
The ones I dreamed about almost every night in school. The ones I saw before
all the bullshit we put her through.
In that moment, I become gutted. Here she was, standing in front of me,
looking like the Annie I fell in love with back in high school, but with a hint of
the Embyr, who had shown me that young love was nothing compared to what
she can make me feel now.
I look to Reece. Okay, where do you want to start?
He points toward the bedroom and we walk in that direction without another
word. The room is almost completely empty except her headboard, empty
dresser, bed frame, and mattresses. Its very different from all the times I spent in
here. Those thoughts compound with flashes of us fucking in this room. I shake
my head to clear it and grab one side of the dresser. Ready?
The four of us dont speak to one another, allowing the music Embyr turned
back on to play while we work. Reece and I bring down the heavy furniture
while the girls carry the boxes down to the moving truck. Its getting harder and
harder to ignore Embyr. Shes glistening with sweat and every time she wipes
her brow her shirt rides up. Im thinking with my dick, and its killing me. Im
not able to concentrate. We are taking down the last few boxes and somehow
Embyr and I end up in the elevator together alone.
I keep my eyes cast downward.
Thank you. Her soft voice fills the small space. I look up. For your help.
Im sure Reece appreciated it.
I nod. Hes welcome.
She sighs with frustration. Casen, can we please talk?
Before I can answer the elevator dings and Im saved. Not now. I want to
get this over with so I can go home.
She says she wants to talk, but in reality, shes just trying to find a way to
explain everything and ask for forgiveness. I know why she did it. I want to
absolve her as much as I want her to forgive me. Maybe thats it. Maybe Im so
freaked out that she wont forgive me and thats why she didnt come clean.
Reece had said she was going to tell me the night Ian died. How do I even know
thats true?
I stop just outside the door, and she almost runs into me. I turn, careful not to
hit her with the desk lamp sticking out of my box. The night you came to my
house and I found out about Ian I trail off, waiting to make sure I have her
full attention. Were you going to tell me?
Yes, she answers without hesitation, a tiny tear falling down her cheek.
Was it because Ian was going to tell me? I mean, would you have told me if
he hadnt found out?
She sniffles. If Im being honest, which is something Ive worked really
hard on being these past few months, then Im going to say that I would have
only told you that night because I didnt want you to find out from him. I wanted
to be the one to tell you.
My jaw ticked. And if Ian would have never found out? I want the truth.
The truth? She sniffles but stands resolute. I would have told you within
the week.
I turned, not being able to handle the conversation anymore. She said she was
being honest, and I really want to believe her. You had plenty of other
opportunities. I commented, placing the last of her stuff in the truck.
***
Another beer? Trinity asks both Reece and me as we eat pizza on the patio
of their new condo. Its about a mile away from her old one and a bit bigger.
This one has three bedrooms and two bathrooms with a beautiful view. I
somehow got roped into staying after we were finished bringing everything up.
Thanks. I hand Trin my empty can and look out toward the city. Were up
on the tenth floor, and Ive never been as appreciative for service elevators as I
am today. Reece and I would have never made it up all these flights of stairs with
her furniture. I am also very thankful for the four beers Ive consumed. Between
those and being tired I feel immune to Embyrs presence or lack of since she
turned down sitting outside with us. I shift in my seat, finding I need to use the
restroom and excuse myself from Reece and Trinity.
He hasnt talked that much about his and Trinitys relationship, and they
seem terse with one another. Not a lot of touching and it brings back my guilt of
not being a good friend to him. Ill need to ask him about it later.
I bump into the doorway coming out of the bathroom.
I really need to stop drinking. Ill make this the last one. I ignore Embyr
sitting on the floor of the living room sifting through some pictures. Sliding the
patio door open, Im faced with Trinity straddling Reece and looking as though
they are in a fierce game of tonsil hockey. So much for being terse with one
another. I grab what I think is my beer and shut the door.
I crack open the can and turn to Embyr, who seems overly interested in the
picture in her hand. Her legs are folded and her shorts ride up all the way to the
apex of her thighs. I will my dick to stay down and speak to her for the first time
in hours. Whats that?
She startles, apparently not noticing I was standing there and lifts her arm to
hand it to me. I swallow the lump in my throat as I look at a photo from what
seems to be freshman year in high school. Sitting down next to her, I focus on
whats going on in the picture. A few of the students I dont recognize, but Annie
is the main focus of the picture. Shes got her arms around her old best friend
posing and in the background Reece and me. While everyone else is playing
volleyball, I am staring right at her. We both are.
I wish I would have known you liked me back then, she says, scooting
closer to me. My body involuntarily gravitates toward her.
I snicker. And here I thought I was being obvious.
She gently plucks it from my hand and laughs quietly. I guess if I wasnt too
busy being invisible I might have been able to tell.
I look at her, our eyes meeting. You werent invisible to me.
She glances down at my lips, the temptation of kissing her hanging heavily in
the air. I want to reach out, pull her into my lap and forget all the wrongs that
have been made. I long to lift my hand and caress her jaw, then grip it tight and
pull her mouth to me, but it wont move. My brain is still in charge here, and it
wont let me free.
Embyr notices my hesitation. Casen, I am so sorry. I want to fix this. Fix
us.
I exhale the breath I was holding in. I just cant right now.
Yo! Reece yells, interrupting us. Uber will be downstairs in five.
I pull away but not before taking the picture and putting it in my pocket,
leaving Embyr, once again on the floor.
A few minutes later, Reece and I wait downstairs, looking for a black Chevy.
You and Trin looked cozy. I thought maybe youd have a little sleepover
tonight.
No. Not tonight. Noticing the picture in my hand, he points to it. Whats
that?
 I hand it over and zipper my jacket. A picture from high school.
Hes staring at it intently, the crease between his eyebrows prominent.
Hmm. His mood sours, and he gives it back to me without another word.
 FIVE

EMBYR

Im sliding the last shirt on a hanger and placing it in my closet when Trinity
comes into my room, without knocking of course. She has two glasses of wine,
one of which she is holding toward me. I greedily seize it from her hands while
she takes her place on my recently made bed. I, deciding its wine oclock, sit on
my new fabric chair I purchased yesterday. Its a teal and purple paisley pattern.
My room has more than enough space to fit a small coffee table, the chair, and a
new desk, as well as the dresser and bed I already own. Now that I work for the
hotel, with a nice, honest salary, I wanted to turn my room into a place where I
could not only rest my head at night but also work in comfort if need be.
The last two months since I lost Casen have been a real eye opener for me.
Even though I fell in love with him, I still had so much pent up anger toward the
entire PITCREW. Ive been working on letting all of that go. I was a bitch and
mad for so long that its been nice to just free myself of all that animosity. With
all the mental changes Ive strived to make, I have also made a lot of physical
ones. I purchased a new condo that was not only closer to my job but had a more
open concept. Something I really wanted in my home. The timing was great for
Trinity since her sister finally got back on her feet with a job that helps with
daycare expenses. She was more than happy to get out of there.
Ive been taking classes at the gym. Yoga, Zumba, Pilates, and also adding in
weight training. I went to one of the best stylists in the city and trimmed my hair
into a layered cut and lightened the burgundy red. I feel as though I am starting
new, but I yearn to have Casen back in my arms and in my bed. I have dreams of
me scratching my nails down his back in nothing but angry, make up sex.
Your room looks great, Em. Trin compliments. I am still trying to figure
out what color to paint mine.
Taking a sip of my wine, I scan the light turquoise color of my walls with
brushed silver accents. I wanted something cheery.
She smiles, looking behind me. I just love this place. The balconies off all
the rooms are amazing.
 Another item I checked off my condo must haves list. I wanted to be able to
walk out to the balcony first thing in the morning and breathe in the morning air.
I agree.
So, uhm, that was interesting last week, she says almost hesitantly. Casen
showing up.
I was wondering when she would bring it up. Not that there has been much
time, our schedules have conflicted this week, and today is the first day weve
both been home at the same time. Its a Sunday and with everything in its place
now, I am happy to begin Monday with a fresh start.
It was, I respond because even though it was eight days ago, I have thought
about, dissected, and scrutinized every single moment of that day. Analyzed it.
Dug deep into my crazy thoughts as to what it might have meant. He was curt
with me when he first arrived at the old place only to allow himself to be mere
inches from me before he left. Was he relenting or was it the beer that was
loosening him up? I hope its the former but know damn well its the latter. I
found myself inhaling his scent, and it brought back our short time together.
What I cant figure out is why he took the picture with him.
Thats it? She grunts. Thats all Im going to get from you?
I shrug. I guess so. I dont know what to say. I think he just came to help out
Reece. I sent him a text the next day thanking him and he responded which is
more than I can say has happened the past few months.
Maybe youre wearing him down.
Doubtful. And what about you and Reece? I attempt to change the subject.
You said he barely touches you but I saw him pull you onto his lap before he
left. I had to turn away so I wouldnt get a show.
She gets a dreamy look in her eyes. I dont know, Em. Since all that went
down with you and Casen he hasnt pursued anything with me besides calling or
texting every day. Its like we hit a wall. Im a patient person but Ive had to go
scratch my itches somewhere else. What you saw was something that hasnt
happened in a long time. Not since before you found out what he did. He seemed
desperate for me and then just stopped cold and called an Uber.
I dont think Reece would have helped us out if he didnt care for you.
She stands, walking to my dresser and drags her free hand across it. I know
he cares but I cant keep doing this. I want him. I want sex from him. I want a
relationship with him but he doesnt seem to. If things dont change soon Im
done.
I cant blame her. The last time Reece and I spoke, and I mean really spoke, I
felt like he wanted more than just a fling with her, but a fling consists of sex,
which they have never had. I havent seen him much since I dont hang around
Casen anymore and until Trinity moved in there was no reason for me to see
him. I just hope he gets it straight or I dont doubt that Trin will move on and
fast. Except, Im surprised she hasnt completely dropped Reece by now.
Why dont you just show up at his house in nothing but a trench coat? I
joke, taking more than a sip of wine. Im thirsty and should be drinking water
but this is so good.
Embyr, Ive offered myself up to him on a platter many times before.
Although, he did ask me what I wanted for my birthday. Maybe Ill tell him Id
like a ride on his face. Her hip leans into my dresser, a finger coming up to her
chin like she is contemplating just that.
I almost spit my drink out. Trinity!
What? Im just saying. That scruff would feel amazing. She laughs and
walks to my door but turns. Oh, were going to Red Ex on the fifteenth to
celebrate!
The fifteenth. Why does that sound familiar. Shit. Fuck! I cant! Im on a
work trip from that Friday to Tuesday. Special events convention that weekend.
Cancel. She jokes. Or I think she does.
I cant cancel. Derrick says its mandatory. Hes already set up our travel
arrangements. Can you do it the following weekend?
Her head falls back, her eyes looking to the ceiling. No. My sister wants me
to stay with the kids all weekend so she can go up to Door County with her new
boyfriend.
I laugh. Tell her to get protection.
She snorts. No kidding, but are you sure you cant reschedule?
I shake my head no.
Fine, but you owe me drinks when you get back. She growls.
I cross my fingers over my heart. Promise.
And promise to get some from that sexy as hell boss of yours while youre
gone.
 She leaves me, mouth wide open. I dont find Derrick sexy at all but Trinity
is an equal opportunity admirer. While I have my type, she spreads the love and
her legs sometimes, for anyone who piques her interest.
Not happening, Trin! I yell after her, laughing.
She hollers back, Then give him my number!
***
A few days later I am walking into my new place. Slipping my shoes off feels
like heaven right now. Today was one of the longest days I have had in a really
long time and all I want is a bath. And Casen. For some reason, he has been on
my mind all day, probably because there were two fire trucks that pulled up to
the building across the street this afternoon. It brought back memories of him
helping me up into his truck and almost taking it too far right there before Reece
interrupted us. Thats when I should have known I was going to fall for him all
over again. My body just reacted to him like it was meant to be in his arms all
along. It felt fated. It had all along. I just ignored the signals. I crave to reach out
to him more than ever. I just dont know what to say. How many times can I
apologize? How many times can I beg him to let me explain? How many times
can I beg for his forgiveness? I should let go, he probably has. You can only be
ignored so many times before you just give up but I dont want to give up. Ive
tried to stop loving him. Its just not possible right now.
Trinity is working late tonight so I slide the chain and latch the deadbolt
before heading to my room and ridding myself of the days laundry. I used to
dress up for work all the time but with my new job, I am on my feet all day. My
clothes are much different now. Where I used to wear short skirts and low cut
blouses, I now wear black dress pants and silk tops. A cute three-quarter sleeve
dress that hits just above my knees adorned with some flats or maybe a pencil
skirt and suit jacket. I love what I am doing now. Corporate planning is a lot of
fun for me. Just seeing my vision come together is so satisfying. Im just sad that
as my career was taking off and I decided to start living my life in a way my
parents could be proud, that my personal life has taken a toll.
I wrap a towel around me and start to run a warm bath, throwing in some
lavender bath salts. I place my iPod on the speaker, put on my calming playlist,
and walk to the kitchen to grab a captain and Coke. Wine just doesnt seem like
enough tonight.
My feet hit the hallway just as a hard knock comes at the door. I secure my
towel tighter around me and set my drink on the dining room table. I quietly
tiptoe toward the door and look through the peephole. A man is standing there,
but he is facing the other direction.
Who is it? I ask, and he turns at the sound of my voice.
Its me, he responds. Reece.
I unlatch the security of the door and open it. His eyes take me in as he steps
inside. Trinity isnt here, I tell him, holding the door open, waiting for him to
leave. You would think he would have texted her first to find out that she isnt
here.
He doesnt make a move, his eyes roaming over my towel clad body. Why
did I let him in when Im looking like this? He swallows before asking, When
will she be back?
I shrug, looking back at the wall clock. I dont know. Ten oclock or so. I
widen the door. Ill tell her you stopped by, but I was just about toshit!
I run as fast as I can through my bedroom, into my bathroom, to find water
starting to splash onto the floor. I turn the faucet off and grab some nearby
towels, hoping to soak it up all up before it leaks down into the downstairs
condo.
Just what I would need. Just over a week here and Im already trying to cause
water damage. I had forgotten about Reece until his shadow blocked out the
light. It startles me and I fall back onto my ass, still in just my towel. Dammit,
Reece. You scared me.
He doesnt move. Doesnt try to help me. No offering of his hand to pull me
up. His dark green eyes just stare down at me. My skin prickles all over my body
in warning and feel as though my fight or flight instinct is about to kick in.
Reece has always given me a creepy vibe but I thought after our talk at the bar,
the one where he apologized and felt bad for accidentally releasing that tape, I
was hoping things would get better. The way Im feeling now, the way he is
staring at me makes me uncomfortable.
You need to leave. I croak, my voice almost a whisper. Now.
Hes stoic like he couldnt move his feet if he wanted to, and I realize this is
the first time Reece and I have ever been alone in the same place. Hell, same
room.
Why did you say yes to Ian? he asks, the question unnerving me.
What? I finally stand up. You really need to go.
 He grabs my arm tightly. Why Ian? If you loved Casen back then, why Ian?
Why not me?
I furrow my brows and then rip my arm from his grasp. Because Ian didnt
creep me the fuck out like you did. Its time to go.
He nods, walking back through the apartment in his wet shoes, me closely
behind him. He turns the knob, opening the door, and looks back at me. Tell
Trinity to call me.
I let him walk out before hardening my stare. Tell her yourself, Reece! and
I slam the door.
My heart is racing.
As I clean up the rest of the bath water off the floor, while also draining some
of the excess in the tub, I cant shake the sickening feeling. Why did he ask me
that? I dont understand. I recall him asking something along those lines in high
school but never felt like I needed to go into protection mode. That is the first
time I have been scared of Reece. Yes, he started the bet and he tried to win it,
but I never got the impression I should be fearful of him. I spent the last ten
years taking control of my life and not allowing others to be superior to me. That
just felt very wrong.
I make sure the door is yet again locked, grab my drink, and slip off my robe.
I slink down into the warm water. So much for relaxing after a long ass Monday.
 SIX

CASEN

I cant stop thinking about her. Dreaming about her. She consumes all
thoughts that blow through my mind. Every single girl who crosses my path
reminds me of Embyr. They all walk like her. Talk like her. Smile just as she
does and even laugh the same. Something has happened since I left her condo
that night and took the picture with me. It now sets on my fridge. I look at it
every fucking day and all it does is bring back the memory of falling for her not
once but twice. Its like fate keeps pushing us together but Im trying to resist as
much as I can. I wonder how long I can be strong. After seeing her a few weeks
ago weve exchanged some curt text messages. My fingers have been itching to
dial her number and accept her request to meet up, giving her the chance to talk
to me. Spell it all out because even though I still have this hatred over what she
did, I cant get her out of my mind. Im hanging by a damn thread and I know
Reece can tell. Which is why were in an Uber pulling up to what seems to be a
club.
Red Ex isnt exactly the place I want to spend my Friday night. Well any
night, for that matter, but for some reason, Reece is dead set on coming here. We
walk in, and its packed wall to wall. Im afraid they have over exceeded
capacity, making it a fire hazard. If this place went up in a blaze for any reason,
it could mean a nightmare and end a few lives.
I shake my head at my morbid thoughts and squeeze between the gyrating
bodies on the dance floor with Reece leading the way. But its in the opposite
direction of the bar, and if Im going to be stuck here with him I am going to
need a few drinks to put up with this chaos.
The heat of the club is so high I feel a bead of sweat drip down my torso
already. When we stop at a roped off staircase on the far side of the dance floor,
Reece says something to the steroid fueled security guard holding a board. He
scans the papers attached and unclips the rope, stepping aside to allow us by.
My head cranes back as I look up, observing a second level that overlooks
the first. We climb a steel set of stairs and in spite of how loud the music is I
cant help but hear the high pitch scream of Reeces name once we reach the top.
Being behind him, the only thing I can see is two arms circling around his neck
and legs wrapping around his waist.
He sets the eager woman down and turns. Trinity, the owner of the shriek,
zeros in on me and smiles. Casen! she yells, throwing her arms up. Thank
you so much for coming to celebrate my birthday!
She hugs me too, and I give Reece a what the fuck look over her shoulder.
Of course, I say hugging her while uncomfortably rubbing her back.
She lets me go and holds me at arms length taking me in. Im not attracted to
Trinity in the least but she looks amazing tonight. Her hair is wild and wavy and
makeup done just enough to amplify her natural beauty. Shes wearing a slinky
dark blue dress and heels that have gained her quite a few inches in height.
Turning to Reece, she goes in for a second hug, giving me a moment to
search the room for Embyr. Im at war with what Id want the outcome to be. I
want to see her but Im hoping she hasnt arrived yet so I can make a beeline for
the door. After two scans of the room and coming up empty, Im confident I can
make it out of here before she arrives.
I catch up to Reece as he leans his elbows on the private bar. I shove his
shoulder and turn him around. Why didnt you tell me we were coming for
Trinitys birthday? Im leaving.
He grabs my shirt before I am out of reach. Relax, man. Embyr isnt
coming. She had some sort of work trip.
I let go of all the tension I didnt realize I had been holding in the last sixty
seconds. Even the thought of her being in the same building as me had me spun
up. Now that I know she isnt coming, I find Im disappointed. At some point,
Im going to unearth what the fuck is wrong with me and figure out what the hell
I want.
I relent, letting Reece order me a beer and look around, this time a little less
anxious. The VIP section Trinity reserved has an awesome setup. Reece tells me
she knows the owner so he let her rent it out for free as long as she hits a bar
minimum. From the looks of the other party goers, Id say they are pretty close
to the mark. It seems to have a capacity of about forty people and furnished with
bright red couches and chairs, black round tables overflowing with drinks, a
small private dance floor, and a pool table.
I drink my eight dollar bottle of beer while observing everyone and
everything around me. Most seem to be having a good time, except Reece and
Trinity, who are now arguing by the railing overlooking the dance floor. It
appears pretty heated and I wonder if I should go over and interject. As I scoot
forward to do just that, a pretty blond sits down next to me.
Hi, she says. Her voice is bubbly, in a juvenile tone. Nothing like Embyrs
sultry one. She sticks her right hand in my face. Im Casey.
Hi, Casey. I greet taking her hand in mine. Im Casen.
Her green eyes go wide and she launches into a fit of giggles. Casey? She
points to herself and then to me. And Casen?
I raise my eyebrows, downing the last few drops of my beer. Yup.
She crosses her legs and shifts her body toward me before taking my empty
bottle out of my hand and setting it down on the table. Well, Casen, would you
like to play pool or maybe dance?
Glancing behind me, I find the pool table vacant and decide its the lesser of
two evils. I wouldnt mind playing a few games.
Accepting of my answer she stands up, leaving her short black dress that has
ridden up, in place. If you squint you can see her ass hanging out. She looks to
see if I notice and smiles when she catches me. It pisses me off because I wasnt
really checking her out. Who wouldnt notice?
I check on Reece and Trinity shocked that now his tongue is halfway down
her throat. They must have made up. Those two give me whiplash.
Want a drink? I ask Casey as we walk past the bartender. She gives me her
order, and I decide to upgrade my beer to a crown and Coke. If Im going to be
here I better make it worth my time, even if I do go broke in the process.
An hour and two more drinks later, I am leaning over the pool table trying to
make this shot. Casey and I are tied up one game to one. If I sink this shot she
buys the next round. If I lose, I buy. I didnt even let her win the first game.
Shes just fucking good.
Just after I draw my pool stick back and slide it forward I am startled by
Trinitys scream once again. My head drops to the green felt as I miss the shot
and I feel Casey slap my ass. Looks like youre buying, Fire Man.
I shake my head and then pick it back up, looking for Trinity to give her the
death stare. I just lost to a fucking woman, who I didnt even let win. Im
stunned at what I do find. So much so I stand straight up, my dick following suit.
 Embyr.
Shes hugging Trinity and must not have seen me yet. I allow my eyes to
scan her body, and my dick goes full fucking mast in a matter of seconds. I
havent had this reaction in so long and she is the only one who gives it to me.
She looks fucking delectable with her hair curled in the loosest of curls. Her
dress, which is dangerously short, hits just below her ass cheeks and conforms to
her body. Its dark gray and sparkles under the lounge lights. Her shoes are gray
as well and have a spiked heel. Her legs are more toned and svelte. I start to
gravitate toward her, my body acting all on its own without the permission of my
brain but put the brakes on when I see she is introducing a man to Trinity and
Reece. Hes tall. Taller than me with sandy blond hair and from here he looks
semi-muscular and just a bit older. He shakes their hands. Reece leans into
Embyr to say something but she rears back, stepping on the schmucks toes,
tripping. Blondie catches her and takes a really long time to release her.
Two questions come to mind.
Why did Embyr pull back from Reece and who the fuck is that guy?
Trinity pulls on Embyrs arm, stealing her ear and I watch Embyrs eyes go
wide. She scans the room and meets my heated gaze just as Casey grazes my
dick and whispers in my ear, Looks like I got you all worked up. Her tongue is
hot as she licks my jaw.
I shiver, pushing her away. Thats not for you.
Casey laughs, irritating me even further. I turn my attention back to Embyr
but she and the guy have disappeared into the ever-growing crowd of people.
Sure its not, Casey says. Lets go. You still owe me a drink.
She grabs my bicep and pulls me to the bar where I order another round of
drinks before sitting back down in two vacant spots on the couch. I keep my eyes
out for Embyr yet again but come up empty.
Where the fuck did she go? I dont even spot the guy she was with and he
definitely could tower over ninety-five percent of the people here.
The alcohol must be taking over. I should forget Embyr and take this more
than willing, confident, sexy woman beside me home to my bed, but I dont.
Instead, I pull out my phone, ignoring Caseys caresses on my arm.
Me: Where are you?
Embyr: I know where I want to be.
 Shes flirting. This is bad. Its really fucking bad because I cant help but
respond back the way I do.
Me: Underneath me?
I regret it the second I hit send. What the hell am I doing? I have never been
this way. Ive always been so sure of what I want and what I need but right now
Im going completely fucking crazy. She hurt me. She wounded me deeply and
though I dont know if I can forgive her just yet I cant help but want to be inside
her. To have her erase all of the stupid fucking things that have happened. The
high school shit. The metamorphosis she went through. The damage she did. The
damage I did. I want to sink into her and drown it all out.
My phone vibrates in my hand, and I look over to Casey, who was now
chatting with a girl on the other side of her. I should feel like an asshole texting
one woman while sitting next to another, but I just dont.
Embyr: Looks like youre already working on someone for the position.
Into blondes now?
Me: And what about you? Who the fuck is that guy?
I look up from my phone and like a beacon I find her through the crowd.
Shes staring right at me. The dude she brought never leaving her side.
Embyr: My boss. Are you jealous?
Me: Have you fucked him?
Its torture waiting for her response, which is taking too long for my liking. I
spot her again and she is looking down at her phone. She shakes her head and
puts the phone in her purse, giving the people around her her full attention. I
clench my jaw but barely feel it from the liquor coursing through me. I shove my
phone in my pocket and lean back into the couch, finishing off the last of my
drink.
Another lonely hour passes. Casey has ditched me for a guy who will take
her on the dance floor. Reece hasnt left Trinitys side and all I can do is stalk
Embyr and her date the entire time. Its torture but one I cant stop from doing to
myself. She keeps her distance from him but I spot the subtle ways he tries to
touch her. When I cant take it any longer I get up. My body sways from the
drinks Ive had, and I use the couch to catch my balance. It takes thirty steps and
four deep breaths before Im in front of all of them.
Im out of here, I tell Reece directly, even though he is surrounded by Trin,
Embyr, and the fuckface.
 Casen. Embyrs voice pulls me from Reece.
I turn to her but Im not prepared to be so close. Embyr. I acknowledge. I
was told you wouldnt be here.
She shifts on her feet, taken aback by me. Well, I am being an asshole. I
completely messed up the dates. We actually leave next weekend.
My eyebrows furrow. We?
Asshat sticks his hand out toward me. Im Derrick.
I look at his outreached hand and like the prick Ive been tonight, I dont take
it. Insulted, he drops it to his side.
Thanks for the invite, Trinity, I say and walk to the stairs.
I pull up the Uber app and order a ride. Finally outside, I take a large breath
of fresh air and lean against the side of the building. My eyes are closed but I can
hear the sounds around me. Car horns blowing. Drunk people laughing. The
clacking of heels on the sidewalk.
Casen! Embyr shouts, jolting me.
My eyes fly open. Shes standing less than a foot in front of me. What? I
snap.
She steps in real close. Fuck you! she yells, shoving a finger in my chest.
I grab her wrist, then snatch the other and turn her around so now its her
back against the bricks. Fuck me? I ask, rolling my body into hers. No, fuck
YOU!
Her chest is heaving with each breath she takes. Let me go. She whimpers.
Are you fucking your boss, Em? Working your way to the top? I question,
and it stings her. She tries to free her wrist and attempts to slap me, but I snatch
them in one hand and raise them above her head.
I reach my hand under her dress, not being able to handle myself, and move
her panties aside finding her soaking, fucking wet. I blame the alcohol for losing
control but if Im honest with myself I know after the last few weeks I wouldve
done this without its help. Is this for him, Embyr?
She squirms but gives me no indication she wants me to remove my hands.
There are people all around us but I remember how much she gets off on public
shit. It fuels me.
Answer me. Are you fucking wet for him?
 Her eyes bore into mine, her resolve showing. No.
I move in closer. Who is it for?
She bites her lip before answering, You. Only for you, Casen.
We stare at one another, her eyes dropping to my lips. I lick them, giving her
an open invitation. A horn blares, startling us. I turn hesitantly and the driver
rolls down his window. Uber? he asks.
My head falls to Embyrs chest. I cant do this, I whisper. I have to go.
Embyrs hands fall from my grasp and I leave her there.
Again.
Im an asshole.
 SEVEN

CASEN

This is probably the worst migraine I have had in a long time. Maybe the
worst I have ever had. When I wake up Im unsure of what all happened last
night but then the flashbacks begin and I sort through every damn thing I did
wrong.
Lets start with allowing Reece to take me anywhere. Every time he suggests
going out I should know just say no. Not to mention the fact that Reece didnt
tell me it was for Trinity. Even if I knew that Embyr told them she wouldnt be
there Im absolutely fucking sure I wouldnt have gone. He caught me at a weak
moment.
Then there was Casey. I shouldnt have led her on but I never gave her any
sort of impression that I was interested. That aside, I dont like to treat women
like that. Im better than that.
Which brings me to Embyr. The only excuse I have for my jealousy is
because Im still hung up on her. That much I can admit to myself. Her name,
her face, her presence sends me into a spiral that is out of control. And her pussy.
Dammit if it didnt feel good on my fingers, thrusting memories of my cock
buried inside her. It makes me hard right now despite the headache.
I drag myself, and my erection, to the shower. The cold water does nothing to
help so I give in and turn it warmer. Reaching down I grab my cock, close my
eyes, and stroke. As hard as I try, I can only think of Embyr as I glide my hand
up and down. My pace quickens when I envision her brown eyes, the ones that
had been hidden behind the green, looking up at me from her place on her knees.
I imagine her mouth wrapped around my dick and my hand on the back of her
head. I hit the back of her throat, causing her to gag, and the sound I envision
that would emanate from her makes my right hand jerk faster and a hot stream of
come shoots out my release.
Fuck. I growl, draining every last drop, my shoulders dropping as tension
slightly releases.
 My cell rings from my nightstand after I finish toweling off. I dont really
want to talk to anyone right now. The shower didnt help with my headache.
KATEs calling.
Fuck. I need to answer this. She is still going through a lot of the grieving
process. She spent a lot of time here after Ian died but eventually went back to
her job and apartment. Kate and Ians parents arent any closer to finding the
asshole that shot him.
Hello, I answer quietly, rubbing my free hand down my face and taking a
seat on my bed.
Casen? Her voice is distressed. I stand up, ready to take on whatever she is
about to say. Im immediately scared and nervous something else has happened.
I cant take much more.
Kate, whats wrong?
Shes crying. I can hear it behind her breathing. I forgot.
Forgot what? Whats going on? She doesnt say anything and Im trying to
be nice by holding out how irritated I am that she is taking forever to answer me.
Kate?
More crying before she finally answers, I forgot I asked Ian to take me to a
friends wedding today. I asked Ian to go because I had just broken up with my
ex. After he died a friend of mine said he would take me but now hes sick. I
dont want to go alone. She hiccups a sob. Please, can you go? I dont know if
you have to work.
Crying. It can be my kryptonite sometimes. Im not working and have no
excuse not to go since there are no pressing plans. I could pop some Tylenol and
do this for her. It wouldnt be right for me to just let her go alone. Ian is gone and
Kate is like a sister to me. I can take you. Just tell me when and where you want
to meet.
Okay. I hear a smile in her voice. Thank you. You dont have to go to the
ceremony but Id love if you joined me for the reception. Its at three oclock.
I look at the clock, finding its close to twelve oclock. Jesus, I cant believe I
slept that late. Text me the address, Kate, and Ill be there.
Thank you.
Its three oclock on the dot when I walk into the hotel where the wedding is
taking place. I spot Kate immediately. She looks beautiful in a one-shouldered
pink chiffon dress that comes about four inches above her knee. Her blonde hair
is pinned up and her light pink shoes bring her closer to my height. Meeting
halfway, she pulls me into a lengthy hug.
Thank you so much, she says into my shoulder. You have no idea how
much I appreciate this.
I lean back, taking her appearance in more closely. You look stunning, Kate.
Beautiful.
She blushes before giving me the same once over, raising a brow. You dont
look so bad yourself, Casen.
Im wearing the same suit I wore to Ians funeral. I dont have many
opportunities to wear it.
I hold my arm out for her. Shall we?
She grabs on. We shall.
The reception is nothing like anything I ever would have expected. Ive never
seen so many people in one room at a time. With close to fifteen hundred guests,
its overwhelming for me. Not that I dont like crowds crowds I can handle. Its
the sheer size of the room. From the street, you would never think the hotel has a
room of this magnitude.
Kate drags me between the tables. Were at table seventy. Its just over
there. I think they are about to do introductions of the wedding party so we can
grab some drinks afterward.
When we finally reach our table on the other side of the room, I pull a chair
out for Kate and notice how close to the front we are. How do you know the
bride and groom? I ask her.
She takes a sip of water. I went to college with Marissa, the bride.
The music begins and we listen as the DJ announces the bridal party. I see
what they mean by the bride picking the ugliest bridesmaids dresses. These are
hideous and Im glad men get to wear tuxedos. When the last of the bridal party
appears from behind the doors, the bride and groom begin their first dance. The
groom is one lucky bastard. He is definitely marrying up. The beginning of
Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran starts and he spins his bride around the
dance floor. The last of the notes ring through the speakers. Kate motions for us
to stand up and get some drinks when Im rooted back into my seat.
Embyr is in the back corner next to the DJ, clipboard in hand and headphones
over her ears. The bride pales in comparison to her. She is a vision even from
fifty feet away. Her hair is down and stick straight. She smiles, and it shatters
another brick from the wall that is crumbling at my feet. Two days in a row I see
this woman and all I want to do is bow down at her feet and lick my way up to
the top. The black pencil skirt would be easy to slide up over her waist. The
button up white shirt just a rip from busting open and scattering buttons across
the floor. I swallow the lump in my throat and try to keep myself from going
over to her. To finish what we started against the wall last night.
Isnt that your girlfriend, who isnt your girlfriend? Kate laughs from
beside me. The one who showed up at your door?
It is, I tell her as I stand. Can I get you a drink?
She gives me her order and I walk to the furthest of the four bars, avoiding
Embyr.
This must be her new job. I know she was interviewing for a corporate
planning position at a hotel but that was the day I found out she was Annie.
Reece told me she got the job but never where it was. I guess it was here, a few
blocks from her new condo. I didnt think she was interested in doing weddings.
Not that it mattered. Even if I knew she was going to be here I wouldnt have
denied Kate. She needed me someone to fill in for her big brother. I just hope
thats all that this is. I wouldnt want to give Kate the impression that I wanted
anything more than to just be her friend. Even if that was the case, Im still
fucked up about Embyr.
How can I still be head over feet for a woman who betrayed me? But I guess
she could ask the same from herself if she does even still love me. How could
she have fallen in love with someone who hurt her like I did?
I try not to look around for her and in a room full of a thousand people it
shouldnt be that hard to do. Within seconds, our eyes meet from across the room
and its all I can muster to break free. She looked past me so I wonder if she
even saw that I was here.
The line for the bar doesnt take long and before I know it Im back at our
table, handing Kate her pink moscato.
She takes a sip while squeezing my hand. Thank you so much, Casen. For
everything.
Kate introduces me to the entire table but I know for sure I wont remember
any of their names. As much as I was seemingly interested, I cant help but look
for Embyr in the background.
I catch her speaking to another employee in the corner. Her hands are
animated while she speaks and the pen in her hand drops to the floor. Both the
male employee and I take advantage of the view as she bends to pick it up. He
licks his lips and smiles. I want to rip his head off and feed it to the fucking fish
in Lake Michigan.
Im possessive of what isnt mine anymore and I realize how much of a dick
Im being to Kate. I dont think I have said one word to her since I brought her
drink back from the bar. Im disappointed in myself and I know Ian would be as
well. Resolving to right my wrong, I give her my full attention.
When dinner is done I ask if Kate would like to dance. She smiles brightly as
she takes my hand and I lead her onto the dance floor. She is an attractive
woman. Any man would be lucky to have her on his arm.
So, what happened with your ex? I ask as we glide across the floor,
between other wedding guests.
She shrugs. I dont really know. One day I was happy and content and the
next I realized he didnt have what I wanted in a man. We werent compatible.
Not in the bedroom, not in our careers. I was starting mine and he was still trying
to figure out his. Plus, we werent in love. I wanted to be with someone who
made feel alive all the time. It felt like we just kind of lost our way and I knew I
needed to end it before it got too far. Before we both felt like it was too late to let
go of one another.
How long did you date?
She thinks on it for a moment. Just over a year and a half. We broke up a
month before Ian died.
Pulling her in tighter, I kiss her cheek. Im sorry, Kate.
Me too, she whispers. I just want to have that all-consuming love. I dont
think its too much to ask.
I dont either.
She leans back. Did you have that with Embyr?
Oh, she consumed me all right.
The song ends with the DJ announcing the cutting of the cake. I grab Kates
hand to lead her off the dance floor only to find we had an audience.
Embyrs eyes are staring at our clasped hands. Im not sure what the look on
her face conveys but I know its not good. Shes either pissed or sad. Maybe
even a little of both. We have no choice but to walk past her toward our table.
With each step, I feel the pull to her stronger than the last. She says nothing as I
brush past her, my right hand grazing her thigh. Her intake of breath is louder
than the music and I can feel her skin prickle between my fingertips.
What I wouldnt give to release my hold on Kate and drag Embyr into the
closest empty room. My willpower is dwindling. Im not sure how much longer I
can hold off myself.
I hear her as I pass, hoping Im the only one. Up my skirt yesterday, up hers
today, huh, Casen?
It angers me. However, I dont respond. I dont know how to. Everywhere I
turn lately, Embyr is there. In the women I see walking on the street. In my
dreams. When I go out. She is behind every corner and I cant escape her. I dont
even think I want to. My brain is starting to catch up with my heart, and its
breaking me down. Every single second of the day is filled with Embyr and I just
want my life back. Whether that is with her in it or with her out of it, I need to
make a choice and do it soon. Do I want her back? Do I want to forgive her? Do
I want to forget every single moment weve ever shared or spent together? Ive
never been so tattered before in my life.
Kate continues past our table and straight to the bar. I assume, after the
comment from your ex-girlfriend slash maybe girlfriend, that you may need a
shot or three.
Youre not fucking kidding, Kate.
Some tequila shots later, Kate and I are laughing at a story about Ian from
when he was in middle school.
I swear. She laughs. He came home and told my mom that he didnt
understand why the blood would rush to his penis when his English teacher
walked by.
Mrs. Pane was hot. I dont blame him. I lean back in my chair.
So. Kate gets serious. Tell me about Embyr.
In my drunken state, I dont hold back and tell Kate the entire story. Every
disturbing fact. I dont think she knew Ian took Annie out for the bet. She
thought they had just gotten caught on video but had no idea everything that
followed.
Wow. She leans back in her chair. Thats a crazy story you have.
 I swallow, finding Embyr over at the next table. It is.
But she loves you and you love her?
Sometimes its not enough. I have to trust her.
Casen. She admonishes. She was going to tell you, right? Give her a
chance.
I think about that as we take another spin on the dance floor. Im having a
great time until
EMBYR! Kate screams, receiving Ems immediate attention from the
bridal table. She furrows her brows but walks over anyway.
How can I help you? she asks Kate but doesnt dare look my way.
Well, Kate looks at me, my friend Casen here wants to dance and see Ive
just twisted my ankle. Think you can help him out?
She starts. I dont think thats such at the same time I say, Lets not do
that.
Yes! She commands but when neither of us moves she yells much louder,
GO!
I lean over to Kate. What the hell are you trying to do? I just told you what
she did.
She tilts her head to the side, her pupils swimming with alcohol. So what?
What do you mean so what?
Her nose brushes my cheek as she whispers, So fucking what. Who cares
what she did. The past is in the past. Karma bit her ass. She pulls away and
turns to Embyr. Cut on in.
I sigh and look at Embyr. She is just going to keep pushing until we dance.
Embyr steps into me, giving me her right hand and putting her left on my
shoulder. I wrap mine around her back.
That wasnt nice what you said earlier, Embyr, I whisper in her ear.
Her forehead falls to my shoulder. I know. Im jealous. I think we both say
things we shouldnt.
I tighten my grip on her. I was jealous last night.
What are we doing, Casen? A soft sigh crosses her lips.
 I breathe her in. She smells like home. Smells like where I want to be. I
dont know, Embyr.
We sway like that for the rest of the song and into the next one. When that
one ends, she lifts her head and looks into my eyes. I still love you, Casen, but I
dont know if that even matters anymore.
I really want it to, Embyr. I feel very lost without you, but I still cant grasp
what I truly want anymore.
She nods in understanding. Let me know when you do.

 EIGHT

CASEN

Today is my day off and I contemplate what I should do. I would call Reece
but Im still pissed that I got blindsided the other night. He didnt think Embyr
was coming but did he think ditching me the whole time would sit well with me?
It sure the fuck didnt. I dont know what is up with him lately either. He hasnt
been the same since Ian died. I know none of us have but I swear something is
weighing on him more than the rest of us. He told me they were going to go out
that night but he decided at the last minute to cancel. Maybe its the what ifs
that are really getting to him.
Id hang out with Kate, but she left late last night. I offered for her to stay at
my place since I was so close but she declined. I still cant believe she pushed
Embyr and me together. I guess I dont have to worry about her wanting
anything more than just friendship.
It was nice to have Embyr in my arms last night. Her sweet scent stayed on
me until my shower this morning. She told me she still loves me but doesnt
know if it matters anymore. It matters so fucking much. Im just still very torn.
My phone pings with a text.
Mom: I know youre off today. Want to have lunch in the burbs with
your old mom?
Me: Youre not old. Ill pick you up at noon.
Mom: Cant wait.
I pick up my mom just before noon and take her to Lou Malnatis in Buffalo
Grove. Deep dish is her favorite and there is no other place she will go for it. Its
lunch time and the wait is long but since we only have two people we are seated
within fifteen minutes. We always get a medium deep dish cheese pizza so the
server takes our order right away. When she leaves my mom gets right into it.
Okay, my son. Whats going on? She smiles, sipping her iced tea. Youve
been a pissant lately.
 My mom is a beautiful lady. She is aging so well you would think she was
my slightly older sister. Her hair is dark, styled straight, and falls down to her
shoulders. Her light brown eyes are covered by trendy black glasses. She runs
every day, even at fifty-five, and is just as fit as some of the firemen at my
house.
I laugh. Pissant?
Yeah, a pissant. Every time I talk to you I sense that someone pissed in your
cheerios.
She is also not one to hold in her cuss words. I think for a moment about
what I can say to her and decide to just go with the truth. I havent told her much
about Embyr. She didnt show up to the wake until after my scene outside. She
has no idea what is going on.
Mom, I dont know where to start. I shake my head and run a hand through
my hair.
She taps her chin. How about the beginning, Casen. Start where it all
began.
Do you remember Annie?
Her lips purse. Annie that you went to high school with? I nod. I
remember her. Your little crush. Her smile widens.
I can feel my face flush. There really wasnt much I could keep from my
mom.
Well. I start but I need to take a drink of water because, despite her
perception, she doesnt know it all. For her to understand everything she needs to
know everything. You remember what happened to her?
Her face falls. Baby, tell me you didnt have anything to do with that.
I lower my head in shame. I know what youre thinking, Mom, but I have
come to the conclusion that I desperately need some advice and I need you not to
judge me right now. You are welcome to do it after you help me.
She just nods but I know she wants to say something. She has never been the
type to keep anything in.
Back in high school I had a crush on Annie, which you obviously knew
about. Well the guys, they made fun of me for it. Said there was no way she was
interested in me so they made a bet, one that I wasnt a part of, to get her to go
out with them.
 She gasps. You didnt stop that?
I swallow. Mom. She makes a zipping motion across her lips. Well, they
made the bet. Without going into too many details that arent all that important,
Ian won but he also coerced her into sex. It was recorded by Reeces security
camera and then was accidentally released the next year. They tortured her,
Mom. Teased her. Tormented her. Had her do their homework and made threats
if she didnt comply. I just stood by and did nothing.
I take a break because now I know what it did to her and that she never was
able to get over it. It fueled her plot of revenge it guts me.
Mom grabs my hand from across the table. Have you been thinking of that a
lot lately, Casen? Is that whats going on?
I shake my head no. Thats just the start, Mom. Embyr, the girl I told you I
was seeing a while back. She half smiles. Shes Annie. I found out the day Ian
died. My chest starts to tighten. Im a manly man but I can feel tears
threatening to fall. I sniffle. She changed her name, her appearance. She was
going through the seven of us, one by one, picking us off. She outed Thad and
blackmailed Wesley. She made it so clients found out about what Patrick was
doing and Im sure she had something to do with Evan getting caught cheating. I
mean, I know they all brought it upon themselves. They were doing shitty
things.
I risk a glance at her. I find shock and disbelief. Casen, wow. I dont know
what to say. Was she coming after you, and Reece, and oh my God Ian?
No, I know what youre thinking. She had nothing to do with Ians death,
but as far as him or ReeceI dont know what she was planning for them.
What about you, Casen? Is there something you have been doing she was
going to ruin your life over?
I half-heartedly chuckle. Yeah, I was falling in love with her. Her initial plan
was to make me fall for her and then dump me on my ass, but she claims she fell
for me too and she didnt want to continue her path of destruction.
She came clean? she asks.
I bite the inside of my cheek. No, I was having Ian investigate Annie and
he found out Annie was Embyr, and I was dating her at the time. I got the news
from an envelope Ian sent to me just before he died. I went to her house and
confronted her. She said she was going to tell me, but I just found out first.
She squeezes my hand. That had to be heartbreaking. Im so sorry.
 The server interrupts with our pizza and we unclasp our hands. After placing
a piece of pizza on each of our plates and taking a bite, I continue.
It was but if Im being honest, being without her right now hurts way more
than when I found out what she had been doing. How can I blame her for what
she was doing? Yes, shes old enough to know better but I think, no, I know she
never expected the outcome of all of this.
We eat in silence for a few moments before she speaks up. Can I ask some
questions now?
I nod.
Did she forgive you?
I assume so. She told me she loves me and I know she does. Or did. Does? I
dont know, Ma. Im really fucked up over this.
How do you think she feels? She questions, taking another bite. One
minute she hates you for not interjecting when they were treating her like shit
and then her heart betrays her by falling in love with you.
We havent talked about any of it. It was months ago and I havent let her
speak one word about it.
Here is my take, Casen. I may just be an old woman but Ive seen a lot in
my more than half a century. You and your friends messed her up. She didnt
make Wesley screw a student, or Evan cheat or even turn Thad gay. I mean for
the love of God I thought everyone knew that already. But you all did make her
life a living hell and put her naked body out there for the entire world to see. If
she can forgive you for that, I think you can forgive the woman you love for
falling in love with you. Can you see yourself without her?
I think about that for a moment and a lot over the past couple weeks. I can
see myself without her, but its a lonely existence. I want to forgive her.
Hows the sex?
Mom!
Im not stupid, Casen. I know youve had sex. Ive bought you condoms, in
fact, bulk size before you left for college. How is the sex? She enunciates every
word of the last question.
I look around, noting the couple next to us pretending not to listen. My mom
and I are very open, for the most part, but this may be crossing a line. Mom,
stop.
 All Im going to say is if you dont see a future without her in it, if she
knows the worst you have ever done and forgives you for it, and the sex is good,
then you better get that ass moving because I want me some grandbabies!
Someone stops next to our table. Nancy?
We both look up and find a woman who looks to be about my moms age
holding two babies in her hands, a boy and a girl. Eden! My mom stands up,
securing the little guy in her hands.
A younger looking version of Eden comes up next to her with another cute
little girl holding her hand.
Nancy, this is my daughter Erin, and these are three of my nine grandbabies.
Savannah, Joshua, and Lillian.
My mom turns to me, a devious look in her eyes. Nine grandbabies, huh?
Well, I have none but this is my son Casen. Casen, this is Eden Decker from my
bunco group.
I shake my head at her jab and stand up, shaking Eden and Erins hand. Nice
to meet you. Casen Parker.
Erin Prescott.
You have beautiful children. I compliment.
Thank you, Erin says, looking down at her daughter, then at her mom. Im
going to head outside. Walker should be here any moment to take Savannah to
his dads while the babies nap.
Her mom smiles at her. Ill be right out, hunnie.
Look at his face, Casen. My mom squeezes Joshuas face. I need some of
these. Just a dozen or so.
She hands him back to his grandmother who is chuckling. I begged Erin
forever to have kids. Once she met Walker it was like they turned into a baby
factory. Im surprised they come out of the bedroom. I think shes preggo with
number four. I can sense it.
Well, Ill keep my fingers crossed for you, Eden. My mom laughs.
Mrs. Decker pats Mom on the shoulder. Have a great lunch.
They hug before Eden leaves and we sit back down. Forgive Embyr, Casen.
It not only benefits you but if you dont there is the chance you are going to miss
out on an epic love. One that people write stories about.
 Mom, I doubt someone would ever write a story about teenagers fucking up
a woman so bad that she comes back for revenge.
She shrugs. You never know, but if you forgive her and then it doesnt work
out, at least you can be at peace. Its not usually the ones who need to be
forgiven that suffer. Its the ones that dont release them of their sins that pay the
price. Its not for them, its for you.
I soak in her advice. I need to forgive Embyr. Maybe not pursue more than an
explanation and see where things go.
Then, when you have the make up sex you can start to work on my twelve
grandchildren. She comments stone-faced.
Seriously, Mom? Twelve?
She looks directly at me. Im serious. I dont want Eden Decker to
outnumber me in grandchildren, and I know for a fact your sister is a lost cause.
Shes never going to get married.
I have to laugh at that. Im glad I picked her up for lunch today, now I just
need to figure out how to proceed with forgiving Embyr.
I know what I have to do.
 NINE

EMBYR

Is it possible for a woman to have lady blue balls? Because I feel like Ive
been experiencing it for the past five days. It started with Casen shoving me up
against the wall outside Red Ex and feeling how turned on he made me with just
his mere presence. Then it ended with a sweet slow dance at the wedding I had
to cover last minute. Ive had this ache between my legs that neither my vibrator
nor my fingers can ease. Ive imagined Casen between my legs every night. It
wouldnt surprise me if I had carpal tunnel at this point.
I should have known bringing Derrick to Red Ex was going to be a mistake.
When I told him I wanted to leave a day later for the conference so that I could
be with Trinity to celebrate her birthday, he had said an email came in stating the
dates had changed. Thrilled, I decided to keep it a secret from Trin and surprise
her. When he asked if he could come along, I thought nothing of it. He has never
given off the vibe that he was interested in me. That is until Trins party. Maybe I
was reading too much into the brushes of our hands or the subtle caress of my
lower back. It made for an interesting night. He is my boss, and while I dont
think he would fire me over my lack of interest in him, I didnt know if he was
flirting or just being nice.
Then I came face to face with Reece. I havent been able to get over the
weird vibe he gave since he came to the condo looking for Trinity. I thought we
were past the make Embyr uncomfortable stage but we just flew right back
into it. He acted like nothing was wrong at Red Ex. Like he didnt come into my
room, into my bathroom and demand to know why I turned him down in high
school. Now, anytime I even think of Reeces name, I shudder.
Casen was an added bonus to the night. I was surprised to find him there, but
since Reece had thought I was out of town, he must have felt it was safe to stay. I
dont see why we cant be in the same room though. I thought him helping us
move was a turning point. The entire night we shared passing glances. Even if I
couldnt see that he was looking, I could feel his eyes all over me. Then, when
he decided to leave, I had to go after him. I didnt care how it looked to anyone
else.
 I didnt understand his hot and cold attitude toward me but when he pushed
me against that wall, it all became clear. He was menacing. Dirty and yet I could
see the vulnerability in his eyes. Hes torn between hating me and wanting to
forgive me. I just dont know how to push him to the forgiving side.
I thought maybe at the wedding I had to be making some headway with him.
Kate looked beautiful at his side but just like the night before his eyes were
constantly seeking me out. He was dressed in a suit, making him look like a
gentleman when I know how truly dirty he is.
I tried to focus on my tasks. Making sure things ran smoothly behind the
scenes was my priority, but in the back of my head I was seeking him out. Im
no longer jealous of Kate. If he wanted her, there is no way he would have
pushed her aside at his apartment to accost me in the hallway. On top of that, she
pushed us together on the dance floor. I wasnt sure it was appropriate at the
time, but I didnt care. It was nice to just have him in my arms for the briefest of
moments.
But after Casen left me breathless in the middle of the room, I knew I wasnt
going to give up on him. Not yet. He has one week. One more week until I show
up at his place and force him to listen to me. Ill tie him to the bed if I have to,
and that thought is not helping my lady parts. Jesus.
Considering I was gone most of the weekend and arrived home late last night
after a corporate event, I felt pretty refreshed for just after seven oclock in the
morning. I was going to take today off but a client requested a meeting to go
over the menu for their upcoming event. Its days like these when I dont mind
coming into work, I know Ive made the right career choice. It may have taken
me years to get over all the bullshit I was handed but Im proud to say Im living
my life the right way. The way my parents would have been proud of.
Morning, Embyr. Derrick greets as I walk past his office toward the break
room to get some coffee. He is always in before the first employee and out after
the last, which is probably why he isnt married. He would never see his family.
Im sure he has his fair share of dates since he isnt bad to look at. Tall,
blond, built pretty sturdy and has some amazing blue eyes. Hes a nice,
successful guy. Any woman would be lucky to have him, but Im not one of
them. Maybe in another lifetime but my heart belongs to someone else.
I wave. Morning.
Im half past his door when he calls me back in. Could you come here for a
moment?
 Composing my annoyance before I turn around, I plaster a smile on my face.
Whats up? I ask, sitting down in one of two chairs in front of his large,
mahogany desk. He stands, circles around, and takes the other seat.
Thank you so much for covering the wedding this past Saturday. It meant a
lot and showed your loyalty to our company. Did you like the wedding side of
the business?
I exhale the breath I didnt know I was holding. I thought for sure he would
make another move. I think over his question before answering. I did. I smile.
It was a new experience for me. I still like my corporate events more. Less
stressful dealing with bosses than brides.
He bobs his head up and down as he listens. Thats great to hear.
The silence is getting awkward so I ask, Did you have a good weekend?
He scoots the chair closer and places a hand on my knee. All the nerves in
my body start going into overdrive, and its all I can do not to slap him. I did. I
was glad to spend some time with you outside of work on Friday night.
Swallowing, I gently grab his hand and place it back over on his side.
Derrick. I start, and I can see his face fall and turn red with embarrassment. I
just got out of a relationship and Im not really over it. I just dont want to date
right now. Plus, youre my superior. I dont think thats appropriate.
Its the nicest Ive been to a boss in a long time. It wasnt long ago that I was
letting one rail me from behind. That thought makes bile rise in my throat.
Oh, yes. Im sorry, Embyr. He fumbles his words. I understand. Please
forgive me.
Standing to my feet I take a look at my watch. No worries, Derrick. I have a
meeting in a few minutes.
I walk out, hoping thats the end of it, but Im shaken at my words. I dont
think its appropriate but there was a time I allowed a boss inside me. I have had
sleepless nights thinking about Patrick and how I let him into my body. I didnt
have to do that. I try to shake the thoughts, reminding myself Im not that girl
anymore, and I wont go back. Ever.
I sit at my desk and pick up the picture of Casen and me together. I almost
feel pathetic having it at work but it is showing me what Im working toward. I
want to be a better person not only for myself, and my parents, but also for
Casen.
 One week. He has one week, then Im coming for him.
***
My morning goes by so slow. What started off as a good day has turned into
my client taking four, yes four hours to pick out the food for her event. Im
completely drained and just after lunch my cell phone buzzes.
Trin: Drinks tonight?
Me: Oh my God, please!
Trin: Jedis?
Me: You just want to see Damien.
Trin: Fuck yes! 8 oclock!

Jedis is packed as usual. I havent been here in a long time, and it seems like
a number of patrons has doubled for a weeknight. Ive avoided this place like the
plague since Casen left me on the bathroom floor many weeks ago. There are
just too many reminders of him.
I order my captain and Coke and instead of letting the bad memories
consume me, I focus on all the good that has happened since the last time I was
here. I started seeing a therapist. She has helped me through so much. Dr. Navan
encouraged me to face all my demons and make amends with those I feel I did
wrong. I met with Thad and Evan to apologize for what I did. They were
rightfully furious but eventually thanked me for coming clean and apologized for
what they had done back in high school. All the money I had left over from
Wesley I donated to a charity near and dear to my heart. It helps widows of
policemen who have died in the line of duty. I never confronted him about the
fire, nor was there enough evidence to arrest him. It was an inconvenience and
one that I deserved. He had to resign from the school, and I heard that he forgave
Aria and they now live together. That thought makes me sick, an older guy
seducing a young girl. Ive stayed as far away from Patrick as I possibly can. He
entered a plea but his sentencing isnt for a few more weeks.
I glance over at the stools on the other side of the bar. The ones where Casen
and I sat and he stood up on to announce his interest in me to the whole world.
Its amazing how just a short time with him caused me to fall so hard that I think
Ill never love anyone ever again. Except him.
A man comes to sit in the seat next to me that I have saved for Trinity. I tell
him its saved and he walks away, muttering under his breath. Annoyed, I look at
my new watch, my first big purchase after obtaining the job at the hotel. Its way
past eight oclock, the time Trin told me she would meet me here. I dont know
how much longer I can wait for her. Im exhausted after a full weekend. I pull
my phone out of my clutch to text her.
Me: Where the hell are you? Do you just want to do drinks at home?
Trinity: Running late. Dont leave. Be there soon.
I motion for Damien, requesting another drink. He smiles at me but I cant
give him the same appreciation I used to. Hes still good looking as ever but Im
broken when it comes to the opposite sex now. Its like no one can compare to
Casen. Just thinking about him now has my heart beating faster and goose
bumps prickling my skin. If I didnt know any better I would think he was in the
room.
I hear the stool next to me being pulled out again irritated they cant see my
purse saving the seat, I dont look up when I tell them, Thats taken.
Is it? he asks over my shoulder. My stomach flutters with butterflies. Id
recognize that voice anywhere. Its deep, carnal, and Ive heard it every night in
my dreams. In my fantasies.
I turn to the side slowly, looking to confirm what my body is telling me is
right. My senses are never wrong. Its Casen. He looks gorgeous. Freshly
showered with his hair styled as though he ran his hands through it. Hes
wearing a dark red long sleeve shirt. The sleeves are pulled up to just under his
elbows, and it barely restrains his muscles. I cross my legs remembering the last
couple times I saw him. Just under a week ago this man had his fingers inside
me. He smiles, and it is about to bring me to my knees.
Hi, I speak softly, trying to keep my voice smooth but failing epically.
He motions to the empty barstool I have saved for Trinity. So, is this seat
taken?
I stutter my next words. Uhm, its, uh, for Trin. Im saving it for Trinity?
Did I just ask him that?
He leans on the back of it and smiles again. Im pretty sure she isnt
coming.
Realization hits. My heart begins to beat out of my chest but unlike a few
months ago, its not from a panic attack. He wanted to see me. He set this up.
Nerves strike and I will my hands to stop shaking. Shes not?
Casen slides onto the seat and reaches his hand out for me to take. Im
Casen.
I furrow my brows.
Why is he introducing himself? When I dont immediately take his hand he
asks, And you are?
Embyr, I tell him hesitantly, placing my hand in his, trying to ignore the
tingling feeling it gives me.
He cocks his head to the side. You look familiar. Do I know you?
It takes a moment but I smile a huge wide smile. I know what hes doing.
Yes. I think we went to high school together.
He thinks on that for a moment. Embyr? I dont remember an Embyr.
I shift my body toward him. Well, I changed my name. It used to be Annie
Barnes.
I see, he says before biting his lip. Well, Annie. I used to have the biggest
crush on you freshman year.
You did? I laugh. I believe I had a major crush on you as well.
I like this. This is playful. It feels like a major breakthrough. I may not have
to tie him to the bed to get him to listen to me after all. Though it sounds very
appealing.
Have you eaten? he asks, ignoring Damien as he comes up to take his drink
order.
I shake my head no. I had a late lunch but I could eat.
He pulls out his wallet, throws some money on the bar, and grabs my hand.
We push our way through the dozens of people on the dance floor. At one point
he cant move any further so he spins around, grabs me by my face and collides
his lips with mine. Im taken by such surprise that my mouth opens up for him
immediately and he slips his tongue inside. My arms lie helplessly by my side as
he devours me in the middle of the floor. Just as quickly as he started it, he stops
it, pulling my forehead to his.
Embyr. He breathes into me. I want to forgive you.
A tear immediately slides down my cheek. I want that too.
 Im going to take you to eat something and you are going to explain
everything to me. He kisses me again, this time more chastely. And then, we
are going to start over because as hard as Ive tried these past few weeks, I cant
stop thinking about you.
He wraps his hand around my upper arm and pulls me through the rest of the
way.
 TEN

CASEN

I was so nervous walking into Jedis to meet Embyr. It felt like the first time I
went on a date. My palms were sweaty, and I second guessed my clothes more
than once before leaving the house. I have never felt less confident in my life
until I saw her sitting there looking amazing.
Since talking to my mom the other day, I really thought about what I wanted
to do. I went through every scenario I could think of. Do I ignore her for the rest
of my life? Do I forgive and forget? Do we become friends? More than friends?
Between all the thoughts I had, there was only one that not only made sense but
made me truly happy visualizing it. Make her mine again. Im not sure she ever
wasnt. Its not going to be easy but I do know that we need to start with some
talking, regardless of how much I want to take her to bed immediately. I know
our physical connection is still there but we need to get our shit straight
emotionally.
I asked Trinity to set this up. I thought Jedis would be the perfect place, but
after looking at her and hearing how loud it was, I just knew we needed to go
somewhere quieter.
The night air greets us as we step out of the bar and onto the sidewalk.
Letting go of Embyrs arm, I turn to her and ask, Where do you want to go?
She says nothing, just stares at me. I cant read her. She seems almost
stunned. Em?
Lets go back to my place. She requests, breaking out of her coma.
I purse my lips. I dont know. I think we need to be in a public place.
I just know how much we need to talk, and I dont want others to hear me
beg at your feet for forgiveness, Casen.
Casen. My name falling from between her lips sounds like ecstasy, and the
visual of her at my feet has my cock twitching. We definitely have to discuss
what happened, but if we go to your place, it has to be agreed we just talk.
 She nods. Agreed.
Embyrs condo is pitch black when we get there. I know Trinity is working
late tonight at the studio so we will have more than enough privacy. Talking
through all this in private is the best choice. I just hope I can keep my hands off
her.
Have a seat. She points to the sofa. Want something to drink?
I ask for a beer and make myself comfortable while she stirs around in the
kitchen.
Chinese or pizza? she yells from the kitchen.
Chinese is good.
Hi, Id like an order for delivery, Embyr says into her cell phone as she
hands me a Budweiser. She takes one as well, which surprises me. I didnt think
she liked beer.
I take her in. Shes wearing a hot pink tank that showcases her breasts with a
hint of cleavage breaking through the top. Her long toned legs look smooth, tan,
good enough to wrap around my neck, in black pleated shorts that arent long
enough. She finishes the call and sits next to me on the couch. Not close enough
to touch but close enough that it wouldnt take much to snatch her and haul her
into my lap.
She inhales. Casen, Im so
I interrupt her because I need to be the one to talk first. No, let me say what
I have to say first. Okay?
She sips her beer and settles back into the couch, folding her legs underneath
her. Okay.
Im sorry, Embyr.
Confusion furrows her brows. You? Why are you sorry?
I twist my body, leaning my right elbow on the back of the sofa. Im sorry
for so much. Im sorry for not doing anything. Thats what I regret the most. I sat
there and let them make that bet. I watched them do all those things to you. I
stood by watching them make you miserable and never told anyone. I couldnt
even look you in the face, Em. I know I told you, but it got out of control. That
bet was so fucking stupid, and I wish I would have been more of a man and told
them to fuck off. I should have staked my claim on you, but I didnt. I let my
anger of you going out with Ian control my view of right and wrong. I dont
know why you did, but it hurt and I let it cloud my judgment.
She stops me with a hand on my knee. Casen. I want to explain that. I said
yes to Ian to get your attention. I thought if I went out with him then you would
notice me.
Blowing out a breath I run my hands down my face. I feel like you dont
owe me the answer to my next question, but can I ask why you slept with him
then?
Her head drops and she wipes a tear from her cheek. I didnt realize what
was happening, Casen. I swear. I didnt say no to him but I also didnt stop him
from doing it. I thought if I said no he would tell everyone. He coerced me. She
pauses. Jesus. If I had known what was going to follow I wouldnt have. It
messed up so many lives.
You couldnt have known what was going to happen. I hope you realize I
had nothing to do with that video.
I know. A disturbed look crosses her face. It was Reece.
Why do you look like that when you say his name? I thought you and Reece
talked.
Its just. She takes a deep breath and looks out her patio window before
turning back. He came by one day when Trinity wasnt home. I was about to
take a bath and water ran over the side of the tub. When I went to go turn the
water off he followed me into the bathroom.
I dont understand. Was he trying to help?
She shakes her head slowly. No. He just watched me, in only my towel, and
then all of a sudden he asked why I said yes to going out with Ian in high school
and not him.
I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Why would he even care
about that? Why would he accost her in her bathroom? When she was alone?
Did he try anything?
I kicked him out. She looks down into her lap. I made him leave. I just
didnt understand why he would ask. That was so long ago. It was like it still
bothered him that I went out with Ian and not him. Was he that upset he lost the
bet?
I inwardly cringe. Listening to Embyr talk about what happened to her, what
we all did to her, so casually, is weird to me. How can you be so relaxed talking
about the bet?
A knock comes at the door. I get up and pay the delivery man for our dinner.
Embyr pulls out some plates and we take our places across from each other at
the dining room table.
What you asked? How can I talk about it? She takes a bite of her orange
chicken. Ive been seeing someone.
Irritation rises from the bottom of my toes to my face. Shes seeing someone?
Is it her boss? How can I even be mad? Its not like I expected her to wait for
me. Hell, I didnt even know that I wanted her to. Up until I spoke with my
mom, I didnt know how badly I wanted to be with her, and now it may be too
late.
Whats his name? I force a bite down my throat. I dont care what his name
is.
Its a woman.
I stop mid-chew. A woman? Youre seeing a woman. She nods. Well,
thats some new information.
Yeah, Dr. Navan has been helping me through a lot lately. Its nice to talk to
someone with an outside opinion. She was recommended to me by a friend at
work. She takes a swig of beer. I knew that if I wanted to start over and live a
life I could be proud of I had to seek some counseling.
I feel like an ass. I thought she was seeing someone else, and its her
therapist. I could fucking kiss her right now for scaring me.
So I do.
I push my chair out and get up. Walking to her side of the table, she cranes
her neck back to look at me. Casen?
I kiss her. Its not romantic or passionate. Its not even quick. Its just a nice
slow kiss, and it feels electric. I pull away and take my place back in my seat.
What was that for? she asks, once she catches her breath. Her lips are
swollen and that looks beautiful on her.
Just because. I comment, but then ask, Are you dating anyone?
Embyr smiles. Im not. You?
Nope.
Good. She asserts. Can I say what I need to say now?
 I set down my chopsticks. Please.
She pushes her plate away and rests her elbows on the table, hands clasped.
Im going to talk and I dont want you to interrupt. Im going to say a lot
because I have been thinking of all the things Ive wanted to say to you for a
long time, had I gotten the chance.
I mimic my mother and zip my lips shut, earning me a laugh.
I had the biggest crush on you, Casen, and to say I never thought you would
reciprocate is an understatement. In a million years I wouldnt have believed you
wanted me. When they all started asking me out I didnt understand it but I was
so flattered. My best friend, Mindy, thought I was lying when I told her what
they were doing. When Ian asked, you had been standing ten feet away. I
thought if I said yes, he would tell you, and that maybe youd ask me then. Step
up to the plate if you liked me too. I didnt think going out with him would hurt
anything. Then all that shit happened and my world fell out from underneath me.
I lost my friends. I lost my crush, and I lost my parents. I just needed to get
away. When I went to college, I just couldnt get over what had happened, so I
started my plan. If I could change my looks, I could come back and make all
your lives hell. I was young and dumb. I should have seen a therapist sooner. I
was in a dark place. Much darker than I could have ever imagined. I know that
now. I set off on this plan almost just winging it. I used what I had to mess up
their lives as I went but I think with you, I always knew I wanted to go after your
heart.
She starts to sob. I hold back tears of my own. Getting up, I get her out of her
chair and walk us back to the couch. This time I pull her into my lap and lay her
head on my shoulder.
Im sorry, she said behind her hair. I just want to be able to explain.
Just talk when youre ready.
I wait patiently for a minute, rubbing her back, before she starts again. I
knew I wanted to break your heart as much as you broke mine. I know now what
you really went through back then but to me, you were intentionally breaking me
down in high school. I wanted to make you fall for me. Make you love me and
then crush you. Reveal myself and stomp on your heart and watch you bleed out.
I couldnt though because in the process I fell for you too. It came out of
nowhere and in that moment, when I knew I wasnt going to be able to let you
go, I realized Id have to tell you.
 She leans back to look me in the face. Her mascara is smeared down her red
cheeks. You have to believe me, Casen. What I did was wrong but I was going
to fix it. Even before I found out Ian was looking for me, I was going to tell you.
I wanted to make it right. I still want to make it right.
I draw her into me again. Were doing it now, Embyr. Were going to fix
this.
I dont know how to make up for what I did. She cries.
Squeezing her tight, I kiss her forehead. We are going to figure it out,
Embyr. Together okay?
I feel her shake her head yes and wrap her arms around my back. A flash of
black on her wrist catches my attention so I grab her hand and turn it to get a
better look. Whats this?
Sitting up, she moves her arm so I am looking at it at the right angle. Its a
karma symbol. I got it last week. She rubs her fingers along the tattoo. It
reminds me every day that karma is a bitch. It was something Aria, Wesleys
high school girlfriend, said to me. Karmas a bitch. It stuck. I wanted a constant
reminder that you get back what you give. Not as in the PITCREW deserved
karma but as in me needing to live my life right. Start over. Let karma be my
bitch instead of the other way around. Good karma will come back just as much
as bad. I choose the good now.
I grab her wrist and kiss the black ink. I like it.
She smiles. The first, real, true genuine smile I have seen on her since high
school. The one I fell in love with back then. I do have one more thing I am
sorry for, Embyr.
Whats that?
Im the most sorry for never telling you how I felt back then. I wish I would
have. It might have saved us from a lot of hurt, heartbreak, devastation, and
lies. Her brown eyes sparkle. And I love that you got rid of the contacts.
Her cheeks rise. Me too. Im starting to feel like the real me. I always
thought they were an ugly color.
I look deep into her irises. No. Theyre beautiful. The color is what drew me
to you in the first place. Someone could truly get lost in them.
She laughs. Im so not used to romantic Casen. I almost miss the dirty one.
Well, youll get him back. I just think now is the time to start over. Im
ready for that. Im ready to forget and move on.
She jumps up. Me too! First, lets start with me taking you on a date.
I point to her. Youre going to take me on a date?
Yes!

 ELEVEN

CASEN

The firehouse is quiet when I get there. The crew were replacing is on a call
right now so I take my stuff to my room and change the sheets on my bed. Its
not long before Reece is standing there.
Hey, man. He greets, taking up most of the doorway. Missed you last
night at Jedis.
Reece and the crew were going to meet Embyr and me there last night. I
asked that they arrived an hour later than when I was planning to meet Embyr.
Trinity agreed to get her there early but the rest thought that Id still be there
when they arrived. I didnt want to share my time with Embyr and thought we
really needed to have a quiet talk about everything that is going on. I still think
there are things that need to be said but for now Im content with starting over,
keeping nothing from each other, and of course, when the time comes, some
make up sex. Ive been fantasizing about that for weeks now. I want to tie her up
and spank her ass, but for now, I need to get answers from someone else.
Yeah. I turn to him, crossing my arms over my chest. We left early.
He mimics my stance, seeming to know that Im on the defense. We?
Embyr and me, I answer. I met her there early and we left to go back to
her apartment and sort through things.
He doesnt say a word initially, almost looking paralyzed. Something is up
and Im going to find out what it is.
She told me something interestingsomething that bothered me a little bit.
Captain comes over the loudspeaker instructing us to meet in the kitchen.
Reece looks relieved but it wont be for long. I plan to get some answers from
him.
The entire day we have nonstop calls and in between were busy grocery
shopping, cooking food for the crew, and hosting a field trip. Reece avoids me at
any lull in the day and turns in early for the night. Thankfully we only received
two overnight calls and before I know it, its six oclock in the morning. Reece is
having breakfast when I finally catch up to him.
I slam my hand down on the table. Dont avoid me.
He turns his head slowly, his face menacing. Back the fuck up, Casen.
I pull out a chair and move closer to him. Not until you tell me why the hell
you cornered Embyr in her bathroom and asked her insane fucking questions.
He scoffs. I dont know what youre talking about. Get out of my face.
Stay away from her if youre going to be an asshole. I seethe. You made
her uncomfortable.
Pushing his chair back he stands straight up. I follow suit, the two of us mere
inches from each others faces. What happened to bros before hos? he asks.
Believing her over me?
I shove a finger into his chest. Yeah, you want to talk about putting your
bros first? How about not trying to make a bet on a girl I wanted in high
school. What about that?
He pokes me back. What the fuck, Casen? We talked about that and got past
it. Why the fuck do we have to rehash this again?
Because you were in her bathroom asking her things that you shouldnt need
answers to. Why do you even care who she picked?
PARKER, Captain calls from outside. Visitor.
I turn to Reece. We will finish this conversation later.
The sun is shining way too bright for my eyes to adjust right away but when
they do I cant help but smile. Embyr is waiting for me, brown picnic basket in
hand and oversized beach bag over her shoulder.
I close the distance between the two of us and grab the heavy basket from her
hands. What are you doing here? I thought we were meeting tonight?
She shrugs. Ive changed my mind. The weather is really nice and what I
originally planned was indoors. I think an early morning picnic would be much
better. Plus, I had a day to take off this week after working Saturday and
Sunday.
The guys are watching us, minus Reece, and I grow ever possessive. I want
to block her from their view. Shes wearing a white beach cover up over a dark
red bikini. I calm the urge to yell at all of them. Ill be done in a bit. Come
inside while I finish up.
She follows me back into the house, setting her bag down on the table next to
the basket I placed there. Reece is still in the kitchen but says nothing before
walking out.
Ill be back in a few.

An hour later, we are setting up a blanket on the sandy shores of North
Avenue Beach. She remembered its my favorite place to go. Once everything is
settled in, she sits down alongside me and starts to pull food from the basket.
She sets out grapes, cheese, crackers, and sandwiches. The same kind of picnic I
made for her just a few months ago.
I go about disbursing the food as she makes us some mimosas, smirking.
Why are you smiling?
Her dark eyes meet mine. Because youre here with me. There was a time I
thought you would never talk to me again.
I just needed some time I guess, and Im glad its not too late to start over.
She grins. So, Casen.
So, Embyr. I smile back.
What do you do?
I laugh. You know what I do, Em.
She nods. I know but I figured if were going to start over, we may as well
do it right. Same place as our first date but hopefully a different outcome
because this time it wont start with lies.
Im comforted by that statement. No more lies. I feel like Ive been open and
honest with her but she needs this and Ill give it to her. Whatever it takes to
make this work. I work for the Chicago Fire Department. Im actually about to
test for Lieutenant.
She smiles at me. Thats amazing. I hope you do well.
Me too. I pause. So, what do you do, Embyr?
After chewing a grape, she popped into her mouth she answers. I work for
the Caliber Hotel and Spa. Im a corporate event planner my dream job.
So, why were you there for a wedding?
 I was filling in, she tells me as she takes off her cover up. Patty had the flu
and I was the backup planner. We always have a second person know whats
going on in case something like that happens. Its just a good thing I was there
and not at the conference I thought was happening last weekend. So, I assume
you and Kate are not a couple, with her pushing the two of us together last
week.
No. Were not. If we were I wouldnt be here with you.
She reaches behind her, pulling off her cover up, leaving her in just a bikini
that leaves nothing to the imagination. I stare at her tits as she pulls out a can
from her bag. Can you spray some sunscreen on me?
I take the blue spray from her and she lifts her hair up, giving me access to
her back. I lean in, kissing her soft skin because I just cant help it, and then
press the nozzle down covering her back. If I would have known we were
coming to the beach, I would have brought my suit.
She grabs the spray from me and stands up, applying the sunscreen to her
chest, arms, and bending to get her legs. As she does, her tits spill over her top
and I cant stop staring while I imagine my cock sliding between them at a rapid
pace. I didnt want to spoil the surprise. You can always go in your shorts.
I cant think straight when she is bent over like that, and it gets worse when
she stands up to pull her hair back into a ponytail. Her body, more toned than the
last time I had my tongue on it, is calling my name. I want to reach out and pull
her down onto my ever growing erection. Being near her is killing me.
Do you want some? she asks and the question throws me off.
Some what?
A giggle bursts from between her lips. Sunscreen, Casen.
Please, I respond, standing to my feet and pulling my shirt off before I turn
around.
When she doesnt immediately start spraying I twist around, discovering that
Ive affected her just as much. Her eyes are on my lower back. What are you
looking at?
She clears her throat. Since were being honest with one another. I was
momentarily stunned by your abs but then you turned around and I got a look at
those back dimples. I swear I felt like my IQ lowered about twenty points. Those
are seriously fucking sexy.
 I laugh. There are a lot of great qualities about Embyr but one of my favorites
is her mouth. Not when its wrapped around my cock but when its dirty. She
says dirty words, does dirty things with it. I love that she wants just as much filth
in the bedroom as I do. Shes never been one to hesitate, even now that I know
who she really is, to tell me all her dirty thoughts.
I step up to her. Want to get wet?
Shes momentarily stunned before answering, I already am.
Not enough.
I pick her up by her thighs and run toward the beach. Shes beating on my
back but it doesnt stop me from running into the refreshingly cold Lake
Michigan water and throwing her into it. She comes up for air and splashes
water at me. Fuck. Why did you do that?
I grab her hand and pull it down into the water, showing her how hard she
made me. You see, Embyr. You made my cock swell with that sexy body.
Instead of showing it to the rest of the beach I thought Id give us both a cool
down before things heated up.
We swam for a little bit before heading back and finishing our food and
drinks. We talked about what happened between high school and college. She
admitted to having more than enough one night stands for six people, and even
though I hated the thought I accepted it.
I really want this to go somewhere, Embyr. I want us to truly start over.
She crawls over to me, gently kissing me on my jaw. I do too, Casen. Ive
felt so lost without you, but Ive been working on myself. Im all in this time. I
promise.
I turn my head to kiss her fully and pull her onto my lap. Im all in too,
Embyr, and Ive been lost as well. I dont want to hurt anymore.
She lowers herself onto my lap. I dont want to hurt anymore, either. She
instinctually grinds down on me.
I want to make you feel good, I whisper wrapping a towel around her back.
Really good.
She smiles as she kisses me and secures the towel with her hands around my
back. My thumb dips into the front of her bikini bottoms, and as it makes contact
with her clit, a subtle whimper escapes her lips. I miss you touching me.
Twisting my hand, I delve deeper, penetrating her with my middle finger.
Well, I miss touching you.
Thrusting my finger inside her, I kiss her, swallowing her moans. She starts
to move her hips but I hold them down with my other hand. Dont move,
Embyr. Theyll all know what were doing.
I cant help it. She whimpers, as my pointer finger joins the middle, and I
press harder with my thumb.
If you move, Ill rip this towel off and let the whole beach see you come on
my fingers.
She throws her head back. Its beautiful. I forgot how much so. You
wouldnt.
I bite her shoulder. Try me.
My grip tightens on her thighs, holding her down and keeping her from
grinding herself on me. I threatened her not because I didnt want anyone to
know but because if she didnt stop, Id turn into some high school boy that
blows my fucking load in my shorts. I wouldnt want that. Ive had my fair share
of coming into my own hands the past few months but the next time I come it
will be inside her. I crave it. So much so that if it were nighttime I may slip her
bikini bottoms to the side and impale her on my cock, right here on the beach.
I work her faster under my touch and her eyes find mine. My fingers slide in
and out so easily with how fucking soaked she is. Youre so wet, Embyr. I
forgot how much you love doing this in public.
She starts to moan some more, and I crash my lips to hers, sucking on her
tongue and squeezing her thigh before grabbing on to her ass hard. My gentle
finger fucking isnt getting her there so I shove them as deep as I can go, curling
them so I can hit that spot. The one that sends her over the edge. I flick my
fingers inside her rapidly and push down hard on her clit with my thumb,
rubbing from side to side. Her hips start to fight against my hand and I let her go
because I know at any moment she is going to have her release.
Come, Embyr. Let me feel your sweet pussy milk my fingers. I command,
biting her lip.
The world could be watching, and I wouldnt give a fuck because right now
the only thing I care about is Embyr coming and seeing it happen. Not in a
dream. Not from a memory. Im going to watch her ride my fingers. When I
think shes about to go over the edge, I take my hand thats secure on her ass and
rip her top down, pinching her nipple so hard Im sure itll be sore tomorrow.
 Her pussy tightens and her hips are out of control. Casen. She cries, and I
stifle the cry with my mouth. I twist her other nipple and she shoots off like a
fucking firecracker, screaming her muffled release before her body goes limp.
My thumb continues rubbing her clit in circles and before I can pull away,
she starts to ride my fingers again. That feel good, baby? I ask, knowing
fucking well it does.
Mmmhmm.
Do you want more?
Her head falls back. God yes.
I pull both my hands off her and laugh at the dismay on her face. Lets pack
up.
Begrudgingly she complies and stands up, adjusting her bottoms to cover her
exposed pussy.
Her hands go to her hips and I stand up, throwing all of the food back into the
basket. She doesnt say a word. She just watches me move it to the side and
reach for the blanket. Stepping off, she helps me fold up the blanket and put it
back into her bag.
What about you, Casen? she asks when were done, walking over to me
and pushing her hip into mine. I cant let you go with blue balls.
Oh, youre not. I toss her cover up toward her. When its secure, I take her
hand and ask, Your place or mine?



 TWELVE

CASEN

The door crashes against the wall, rattling the pictures I recently hung of the
Chicago Skyline and Wrigley Field. After tossing the basket and bag across the
room, scattering food everywhere, my hands are fisted in her hair while crashing
my lips onto hers. I dont give a shit. All I can do is breathe her in. I dont want
to think anymore. Ive done way too much of that the past few months. I just
want, no I need, to feel.
The place is dark but I dont bother switching the lights on as I drag her
down the hallway toward my bedroom, our lips never parting. My foot hits the
door, pushing it open, and we tumble inside. Embyrs beach cover up is the first
to go, and I push her down into a sitting position on the bed before it even hits
the floor.
She laughs, a sound I have missed so much. Impatient? she asks.
Crossing my arms I grab my shirt and pull it over my head and stalk toward
her. She lays on her back, her feet still dangling over the edge of the bed. My
knees hit the ground and I push her legs apart, gripping the sides of her bikini
bottoms. I slide them down her ass, over her thighs, and she willingly picks her
feet up so I can rid her of them. Her knees fall to the side, giving me complete
and total access to her pussy. Ive missed the sight of it, the taste. I cant wait a
minute longer to have her on my tongue so I spread her lips apart and lick slowly
from bottom to top, taking a moment to give a little nip to her clit. Her hips push
back but I snag them with my hands, keeping her pussy pressed tightly to my
face.
Oh God. She moans in the sultriest voice. Do that again.
I do. I flatten my tongue and press hard against her. Each time I reach the top
I suck or bite on her clit. Her hands reach down, grabbing a hold of my hair, and
she moves her body, keeping contact with my face. Faster and faster she grinds
on me, and I smile knowing that Im about to make her come again. Her body is
so receptive to me.
 She whimpers and releases my head to prop herself up onto her elbows. I
want to watch, she says. My eyes meet hers and I make a show of taking all of
her between my lips. My tongue makes its way into her pussy and I circle a
thumb on her nub, pushing hard with both.
Dammit! she screams. Casen, fuck!
Her head falls back in ecstasy and she starts to pulse. On my tongue. On my
thumb. I can feel her orgasm rippling through her. I pull my tongue out of her
and lick up the juices that are flowing from inside her. She shudders, attempting
to scurry back, but Im greedy. I hold her hips to me.
Dont move, Embyr. I warn. I want to lick up every single drop.
Her hips start to move again. I cant. You have to stop.
My ego inflates. Why? You dont like it.
No. She grinds harder. Its too much. Im going to come again.
Without warning, I shove two fingers inside her and take her clit between my
lips, sucking hard. I pump my digits fast and her screams get loud. So loud Im
sure the people on the streets can hear my name.
Stop! Casen, please. I cant! She begs. Pleads of me, but I wont. Its
impossible for me.
Come again, Embyr, I tell her in between nips. And it wont be the last
time tonight.
Ahh. She cries. Oh my God. Im coming again.
And she does. This time I pull back, leaving my fingers in, and watch her
come beneath them. Its a beautiful sight to see her in her most vulnerable state.
When the pulses stop and her body relaxes, I take my fingers out.
Shes spent. Depleted. But Im not done with her yet.
Scoot back onto the bed. I command as I stand up.
Slowly, she pushes herself toward the headboard, her red bikini top still
firmly in place. I walk to the side of the bed and reach down, slipping a hand
underneath the fabric. Her nipples are hard and her breast fills my hand. Its
fucking perfect. Her eyes are closed. I release her tit and reach behind her neck,
untying the material and dragging it down her chest. Embyr reaches behind her,
eyes still secured shut, and unties the one at her back. My pointer finger arcs,
snatching the material and sends it flying across the room.
 Your tits are perfect, Embyr. My voice is a whisper as I lean down and take
a pink nipple between my lips.
She moans. That feels so good, Casen.
I want to fuck these. I growl, getting more aggressive with my touch.
Slide my cock through them and come all over your chest.
Her eyes flutter open barely visible are her deep chocolate irises. I missed
that dirty mouth.
I unbutton my shorts, then grabbing the zipper, I pull that down slowly. My
boxers follow my shorts to the floor. Carefully, I lean onto the bed, sliding
myself between her legs. They open for me obediently. What about my cock,
Em? I ask, pushing it just a fraction inside of her. Shes tight. So fucking tight.
Did you miss my cock?
She sighs. God yes.
Youre so fucking snug. Has anyone fucked this since the last time I claimed
you?
Her hands glide up my arms, then back down to my obliques. No. Nobody.
Good. Its fucking mine. I push deeper inside her, rocking the headboard
into the wall.
My skin prickles with sweat as her legs come up and wrap around me.
Deeper. She begs.
I comply, pushing myself balls deep inside her. Shes tight, gripping my dick
so fantastically. It comforts me. It makes me feel like all is right in the world.
She didnt hurt me. I didnt hurt her. We are forgiving each other.
My forehead falls to her shoulder and she nips at my ear before whispering,
I love you, Casen. I always have.
Her words fuel me. I push deeper. She moans. I slam into her harder. She
screams. Im one with Embyr and my feelings for her and for everything else
come pouring back into me. My body is consumed with rage, hurt, lust, love,
forgiveness. Im digging deeper into my soul than I ever have. I cant handle
them all at one time.
Turn over. I command, pulling out of her and flipping her onto her
stomach.
I grab her hips, lifting them up until shes on her knees, and run my hands
over her smooth ass. I reach down in front of me, grabbing her hands and lifting
them to my headboard. Dont move them, I tell her as I align my cock between
her legs and push inside her easily. Shes so fucking wet. My fingers delve into
her hair, and I pull out almost all the way before slamming back into her.
Yes! She cries as she tries to drop her head but I tighten my grip on her
hair.
Youre fucking soaked, Embyr. I slap her ass as hard as I can, and she rears
back. You like that.
Shes under my control now. I have a hold on her hips, squeezing them as I
plunge into her over and over, earning myself a moan each and every time. They
get louder with each thrust. I slap her ass again, taking whats mine. Whats
always been mine. My cock is slick with her arousal and her previous orgasms
making it easy to sink into her deeper than ever before. With each breath, she
gets louder and my cock becomes hard as a rock.
Fuck. She breathes. Fuck. Fuck. Jesus, Casen. Harder.
Sweat trickles from my temple down to my cheek. I didnt think it was
possible but I fuck her harder. Our slick bodies rubbing against one another.
Ripples start to rack through her body and I lean over, placing a light squeeze on
her throat. It sets her over the edge. Embyrs pussy convulses with her fourth
orgasm of the night and I look down to where we are joined. I watch my dick
glide into her as I start to come. I pull out of her, letting go of her throat, and
place my cock against the crack of her ass, watching as my come shoots out onto
her.
I pump myself one, two, three times, getting every last drop on her beautiful
back, before she falls to her stomach.
That was she pauses, intense.
I gently lay beside her, propping my head up as she turns to me. It was.
Im exhausted. She bites her lip.
I drag it from between her teeth. I am too. Stay the night.
Her eyes search my face. If you want me to. I nod. Okay, then. On one
condition.
Whats that?
You need to get a towel and clean your come off me. She laughs.
I look down toward her back and pinch her ass. I guess if I have to. It looks
pretty good on you.
 She gets serious for a moment. I said I love you.
You did. I confirm. Despite all the feelings I still have for her, I just am not
ready to say it back to her. Not yet. Embyr, I
She places a finger over my lips. I meant it. I do love you, but I dont want
you to say it back until youre ready.
Okay, I respond, pushing her hair back out of her eyes and kissing her
nose.
***
I could get used to this, Embyrs sweet voice says the next morning,
coming from the entryway to the kitchen.
I throw a towel over my shoulder and walk over to kiss her. I got up early
and ran. Picked up some stuff on the way back since I figured after last night you
would be starving.
She bites my lip, wrapping her arms around my warm skin. Famished.
I drag myself out of her arms. Then sit down and let me serve you.
Embyr walks over to the cabinet, pulling a mug out and pouring herself a cup
of coffee. Not before this. I need some caffeine.
As I watch her open my fridge for creamer and my other cabinet for sugar,
Im happy with how comfortable she is at my place.
She catches me staring. What are you smiling at?
I shrug, turning back to the bacon on the stove. Nothing. Just glad you
remember where everything is.
She grows quiet, so after I finish pulling the bacon off the pan I turn back to
her. Shes lost in thought. Orgasm for your thoughts. I inwardly laugh.
She shakes her head at me. Youre crazy.
I lean over the counter, placing a kiss on her lips. I am. Now what were you
just thinking about?
Her finger taps on the side of her cup. You said you were happy I
remembered where things were here. Its just, I couldnt forget anything. Every
day since you left Ive thought about you, this place, the fire station. Everywhere
we have gone and everything we did played on a loop in my head. I thought I
was doing okay but now that Im here with you, and were working on things,
Im just sad to have missed out on you for the past couple months. She lowers
her head. All because I couldnt tell you the truth.
I take the seat beside her, drawing her into me. Em, Im going to be honest,
since thats what were going for. She wipes a stray tear from her cheek. If you
would have told me the truth before I found out from Ians envelope, we may
have ended apart anyway. It was a mind fuck to my system. That whole time I
was with you, I was looking for Annie. Looking for you. I felt like a terrible
person. I wasnt sure what my intentions were but I knew that I was falling for
you. I sometimes couldnt sleep at night knowing that maybe once I found
Annie, that Id be torn between the two of you. To find out that you all were one
in the same was a complete and total mind fuck. Its the only way to describe it.
No matter if you told me, or Ian, or even Reece. I think my reaction would have
been the same. I hate that we were apart but maybe we needed it. Were starting
over now. Fresh start. No lies. No more omissions. Just you and me, and our
reboot.
More tears stream down her face. Thank you for giving me a second
chance.
I turn her body toward me and secure myself between her legs. The shirt of
mine shes wearing rides up. Its all I can do not to lift it up and take her here.
But she needs to talk. Thank you for giving me one too.
She shakes her head. No lies.
No lies. I confirm.
No secrets.
No.
No grudges because I cant move forward if Im not sure all this will come
up again.
My thumbs swipe over her thighs. No grudges.
Her hands pull on the bottom of her shirt, placing it high enough for me to
see shes not wearing any underwear. Casen, I have one more thing.
Okay, I automatically respond because I cant think straight with her pussy
bared to me, mere inches away from my covered cock. My calloused palms slide
up her thighs, my thumbs meeting in the middle.
You asked me last night if I had been with anyone since you.
My heart begins to beat out of my chest, my blood pressure rising. Did she
lie? I dont think I can deal with knowing another man has made her come or
been inside her. I did, and you said you hadnt.
She must be able to tell by the look on my face and my unmoving fingertips
that I assume she lied to me about it. I told you the truth. She confirms.
Tension releases from my body.
But, she continues, I need to know if youve been with someone else
since. I told myself I wouldnt ask, but its been on my mind, and Im now
prepared for the answer.
No, I answer, grabbing the bottom of my shirt and throwing it over her
head, leaving her completely nude. I dip down, taking a nipple into my mouth.
No one else has had my tongue on them since you. I rub a finger over her clit.
No other woman has had my fingers bring her pleasure. I kiss her. No lips
have caressed mine, besides yours, since the day I re-met you.
She smiles behind the kiss.
I grab behind her thighs and carry her over to the couch, placing her gently
down on the edge. I stand tall, pulling my shorts and boxers off, and watch her
hungry eyes take me in, before coming down to my knees. She reaches for me,
using her hand to align my cock with her pussy. I push in, and its like Im
giving her the best drug shes ever had. Her eyes roll back and she pushes my
ass, forcing me to go deep inside her.
I lean in, biting her ear before whispering, No woman has had my cock so
fucking far inside them since the first time it was inside you, Embyr, and if I
have it my way, no woman ever will.



 THIRTEEN

CASEN

The entire firehouse is abuzz with the previous days high-rise fire. Justin,
one of the rookies on that shift, fell through one of the floors and had to be taken
to the hospital. He will be okay but something like that always shakes us to the
core. It could be any one of us, and it could be at any time. It wasnt a rookie
mistake. It just happened. Im just glad nothing worse came of it. Justin is a very
dedicated fireman. Like Reece and me, he went to school for fire science. Most
of us start off volunteering or joining right out of high school. I knew I wanted to
become more so I craved the education. It seems to be paying off because
hopefully in no time I will be a Lieutenant. Reece and I are both taking the test
soon.
I find him in the gym area of the firehouse running on the treadmill. His
headphones are securely in place as he looks straight out into nothing. He
doesnt hear me call him or see me standing there so I wait until the last two
minutes of his usual twenty are up.
Reece! I yell once he slows the speed.
He turns, before shaking his head, and continues to ignore me. The brush off
infuriates me. So much so that I stride over, hitting the button to increase the
speed.
What the fuck are you doing, man? he yells, jumping off and coming chest
to chest with me.
I shove a finger in his chest. Knowing he corned Embyr and made her feel
uncomfortable still pisses me off. We didnt get to finish our conversation the
other day. You pussied out and left before I could talk to you.
He looks to the side. I dont know what youre talking about.
The fuck you dont, Reece. Why dont you tell me why you were in
Embyrs bathroom asking her the reason she said yes to Ian and not you. It
doesnt make any sense. Why do you even fucking care?
Reeces face turns furious. Why do I fucking care? He shoves me so hard I
fall to the ground. Why do I care? Because you werent the only one with eyes,
Casen. You werent the only one to fall for Annie. Okay?
I quickly stand to my feet, composing myself. What are you talking about,
Reece?
His head falls to his chest while his hands find his hips. I liked her too. I felt
just as much for her back then as you did and she didnt even give me the time of
day. She had her sights set on you. Everyone could see that. Everyone except
you. Dammit, Casen. You always got everything. Nothing was ever hard for
you!
Is that why you made the bet? To make my life miserable?
He laughs. Thats exactly why. Do you know how great it was to watch you
sweat it out? But Annie I didnt think she would give any of us a chance. She
was all doe-eyed for you.
He liked her too but never said anything? Then made the bet to fuck with
me? This blows my mind more than finding out Embyr was Annie. You were
my best friend, Reece.
I am your best friend. Still. Nothing has changed. And just like that stupid
fucking bet, I was young and dumb and nave.
I dont know. This seems like more than a childish thing. Why would he ask
her that now? Why be concerned with her choice of going out with Ian back
then? It doesnt make sense. But hes right. It was a long time ago. Im learning
to let things go, and I want this to be one of them. I just dont know if I can yet.
Its one thing to do all of that stuff ten years ago. Its a whole other situation if he
is cornering her into answers about it now.
I need to think this over, man. I shake my head. Ive had so much shit
happen lately I dont think I can process this just yet.
The alarm sounds just then, ending this. For now because I know its not
finished yet.
I dont like having tension between Reece and me. I halfway chastised
myself for allowing a woman to potentially come between the two of us, but
thats what he did back in high school, didnt he? He never told me about his
feelings for Annie back then. I could have done something, but maybe he was
too far gone. Telling me I got everything I wanted handed to me. Thats bullshit.
Yes, my life was made easier by my parents always helping me out but his
parents were loaded too. I dont know where he is coming from now or hell
back then. If hes talking about everything handed to me in the girl department,
thats bullshit too. He had more girls in one month than I had my entire high
school career. I just dont understand why he needs her reasoning. Even if he did
like her back then, it shouldnt matter now.
Hey. He calls from the entryway to my room.
I lift my chin. Hey.
His hand comes up to rub the back of his neck, and he shrugs. Im sorry,
man. Finding out she was Annie brought back some repressed high school
memories I wasnt prepared to face, and it was dumb of me to corner her like
that.
Yeah, it was. I dont disagree.
Ill apologize the next time I see her.
I dont respond, I just continue to scroll through my iPad. Taking the hint, he
leaves.
I walk into my condo just past six oclock the next day. It was a rough night
with a lot of calls, and then I had to help my sister move some furniture out of
her house before the new stuff arrived. Its taken a toll on my body. I must have
smashed my fingers half a dozen times. I dont mind helping her but she really
needs to find a boyfriend.
When I open the door, the aroma that greets me is heavenly, so is the vision.
Embyr is in the middle of my kitchen, work clothes still firmly in place.
Something I plan to fix later. Shes at the stove cooking what appears to be
burgers. She must not notice Ive gotten home yet, and Im thankful for the
moment or two I get to watch her. She flips the burgers and then reaches for her
shirt, unbuttoning it before taking it off. It leaves her in a thin-strapped tank top.
Stepping forward, I wrap my arms around her waist. I could get used to
this.
She jumps but relaxes when she realizes its me. She tilts her head to the side
so I kiss her neck.
Whats that? She questions breathlessly.
My hands glide up her stomach, securing both breasts. Finding you in my
house, cooking when I get home at night. Im so glad I gave you my keys.
Turning in my arms, she wraps them around my neck. I hope you dont
mind, but I figured it was okay to use them as long as I made you dinner.
 I lean forward, meshing my lips with hers, taking her tongue into my mouth.
She moans, and I pull away, leaning my forehead into hers. Of course. Its crazy
how natural this feels again.
Her head bobs up and down in agreement. It is.
The pan sizzles and Embyr tends to it. It smells amazing, I tell her.
She smiles a thoughtful smile. Its a spice blend that my dad used to make.
He always made the best burgers. Im just glad he told me the recipe before he
died. It would have been a shame to take with him.
Her dad. He was a hero. I remember he died in the line of duty around the
time we graduated. I didnt go to the funeral. I should have. I know she needed
someone there. After all, she lost her mother shortly before. When he passed, she
had no one.
Im sorry about your mom and dad, Embyr. That had to be tough.
She gives a non-committal shrug. Yeah, it was. I miss them every single
day. Not one hour goes by without me thinking about them.
I cant imagine losing my parents but to lose them at such a young age had to
affect her. All that and on top of what we did. I just cant get my head on straight
about the whole thing. Her teenage years were rough. No wonder she set out her
revenge plan, and with that thought my stomach coils. I forgive her. I do. I just
still have some feelings I need to sort through.
I can imagine there isnt. I just feel terrible about all the shit that was piled
on you back then.
She sets the spatula down and turns to me. Casen, Im talking to a therapist.
I have someone to help me through it. I dont want you to ever apologize for
what happened back then again. Ive forgiven. I might never forget, but I forgive
you. All of you.
I place a chaste kiss on her lips. Okay. No more apologies. I continue,
remembering my conversation with Reece. Speaking of all of us. I talked to
Reece today about cornering you.
She pauses, a look of fear in her eyes. You did?
I did. I asked him why after all this time he would make you feel
uncomfortable and ask you things that shouldnt matter any longer.
She pulls the burgers off the pan and goes about making our plates as I pour
us some drinks. I let her keep her quiet until weve settled in at the table.
 Are you not interested in his answer? I ask her, just before taking a bite.
The burger is beyond anything I have ever tasted. I wipe my mouth. Jesus, Em.
These are amazing.
Her lips rise in a half-hearted smile. Thank you, and I am interested. Im
just a bit nervous to hear his response. She hesitates another moment. Okay,
tell me.
He said that like me, back in high school, he had a thing for you. Her eyes
widen in surprise. Yeah, said he had liked you too and he knew even before I
told the whole PITCREW I had feelings for you. He must have had them pretty
bad to be upset over you accepting Ians invitation over his.
I guess so, she responds. I still cant believe he liked me. I didnt have a
clue. He was always screwing around with some girl, shit, multiple girls. You
would think if you wanted to date someone that theyd pay more attention to
you. Not that I would have noticed. I was really focused on you.
He may have just wanted sex from you, Embyr. Thats just the kind of guy
he always was. Maybe it bothered him that you slept with Ian. If I thought her
revenge plan made my stomach turn, remembering that videotape has me on the
brink of losing the three bites of food Ive had. If were going to get over it, then
I guess Im going to have to learn to be okay with everything as much as she is.
What she has to deal with is far worse than what I do.
Well, either way. Were older now. That is something he should have gotten
over. He may have made me nervous showing up unannounced when Trinity
wasnt home, but when it comes to fight or flight, I fight now.
I laugh at the thought of Reece getting his ass kicked by Embyr. I dont doubt
she could get in a few punches before Reece knew what happened. He said the
next time he saw you he would apologize, and I hope he does. After what
happened to you back in high school, intimidating women is kind of a trigger
point for me, especially seeing as he is my best friend. He should know better
now.
She nods. I agree, but I hope you know that Im not the same girl I was. Im
a lot stronger now and know my worth. There are so many things I did wrong
back then.
I grab her hand, rubbing along the smooth top of it. Embyr, you did nothing
wrong.
I know you want to say that because you were involved in it, she pauses,
taking a sip of her drink, but I should have said something. Told someone, and
if I ever have kids Im going to make sure they dont bully and they dont allow
themselves to be bullied. I would also hope that Id raise them to stick up for
those who arent strong enough to.
The contents of my stomach turn and my vision of having her for dessert
fades quickly. Im guilty of all that. I allowed them to hurt her without helping.
All I had to do was say something. Even anonymously would have been better
than nothing at all, which is what I did. I bullied her too. I dont think for a
moment I didnt. Even if I didnt take part in everything they were doing to her, I
am still responsible for it. She also mentioned not allowing yourself to be
bullied. They tore me down too. My so-called friends made sure I kept my
mouth shut by intimidating me. I was a victim of the PITCREW as well but not
as much as her.
Dont do that, Casen, she says, breaking into the chastising Im giving
myself. Dont feel bad or start to take pity on me again. I dont want it.
I scoot my chair closer to her, the sound instantly irritating my ears. I take
both her hands into mine and bow my head. I know weve been talking all this
through but its going to take a while for me to get over what we did. I lift my
head to meet her eyes. They look just as worn as mine. Ive got as much to
work through as you do, and even though Im letting go of what you had been
doing over the past year, its hard for me to grasp that you are doing the same.
Forgiving me, all of us, for the horrendous things we put you through. Itll take
time but Im willing to work it all out.
Sliding off the chair and onto my lap, she wraps her arms around my neck.
My hands cant help but rest on her thighs, and I take the opportunity to slide her
skirt up a bit.
Casen, Im willing to put in the work. Her soft lips brush over mine. I
know youre worth it.
Something she said comes to mind. You said IF you have kids. Do you not
want them?
Shes pensive for a moment, looking up to the ceiling. I do. As long as the
right person comes along. I hadnt thought about children as much until the night
we had the big blow out.
My brows furrow in question. What? Why?
You had asked when I was going to tell you. If it would be after our first or
second child or after we got married. It gave me, for a brief second, a vision of
little dark haired children being raised in the suburbs.
I feel the constriction of my heart. I remember saying that to her. I was so
angry and heartbroken. I did say that, didnt I.
Do you still see that happening? With us? she shyly asks, her voice
lowered.
I kiss her. I kiss her like Ive never kissed her before. With so much passion
and love poured into every caress of our tongues. I see it all the time. In my
dreams, in my reality. I would love to give you my last name and have you
pregnant with our children.
She stands up, sliding the zipper down on her skirt and dropping it to the
floor. I say we start practicing.
 FOURTEEN

EMBYR

I feel saddened as I leave Casens house this morning. Weve spent close to
every day together this week and now I am leaving for three days to New York
for the Events Conference. The past five days have been emotional, to say the
least. Casen and I are working on getting over all the bullshit weve gone
through, and even though sometimes I feel as though he may not have forgiven
me completely just yet, I know we are making progress. Weve spent every
evening eating dinner together when he isnt at the station and every night in
bed. Its been a whirlwind considering that just two weeks ago I was pretty sure I
would never get to be near him again. Im so thankful that he was willing to start
over.
As I walk into work to meet Derrick before we take a town car to the airport,
I smile thinking about Casen and my conversation the other night. He still thinks
about marriage and kids with me. I was honest when I told him I never thought
about having them until he mentioned it. Maybe I didnt think I was worthy.
That seems dark, but its how my mind functioned for the past ten years. Now
that were together, and Ive made the necessary changes to better my life, I feel
strongly enough that I can have that happily ever after. I crave it now more than I
ever have before. Its a crazy thing to transition from an angry, jaded girl to a
mature, future driven woman. It has been a long time since Ive felt happy.
Embyr. Derrick greets, walking into my office while I set up my away
message for email. You ready for a weekend, just the two of us.
I pause, mid-type, on my email. Im excited to visit New York and learn a
few new things on how to make our events better.
Hmm. He ponders it for a moment before tapping my doorframe twice
with his fist. Well, the car will be here in fifteen minutes. Ill meet you in the
lobby.
He leaves me to finish up. I set up my voicemail and then punch Casens
number in.
 It rings twice before he answers. Hey, sexy.
My teeth secure my lip as I try not to smile. Hey.
I hear the city streets in the background. Getting ready to leave?
Yeah, I just came into the office to do a few things before I head out to the
airport with Derrick.
I can hear the sigh Casen emits. I know he isnt excited that its just my boss
and me, and I havent brought it up all week. I wish it wasnt just the two of
you.
The receptionist is at my door. Town car is here.
I look at my watch, noticing its early, and I nod to her.
I know, Casen. Im not either but its for my job and you have nothing to
worry about. I collect my purse and shut off my computer but need to hang up
since were on my office phone. I forwarded all my travel information to your
email if you need it, and Ill call you once I land.
Okay. Ill just go home and be miserable on my weekend off without you.
He tries to gain sympathy.
Okay, think of me. I smile. In the shower.
Embyr. He warns. Im walking home from the station, not the time to get
me riled up. I didnt even get to see you last night to get one more fuck before
you left.
On my knees. I continue. Unzipping your pants.
Fuck. He groans, and I envision him sliding his hand down his face. Im
going to come to your work and bend you over your desk.
Cant! I laugh. I gotta go.
Tease!
I giggle harder. You love it!
Two and a half hours, an upgrade to first class, and six inappropriate texts
from Casen later, I am in my seat ready to take off for New York. Im glad this is
a direct flight but flying first class isnt a bad gig.
I thought the company only allowed business class for flight travel. I
question as we begin to taxi on the runway. Derrick is in the aisle seat, allowing
me the window, which I prefer. I love to watch the world beneath me float away.
 I splurged on the upgrade for us. He takes the last few inches between our
hands and obliterates them by intertwining our fingers.
Jolted, I pull back from him, pretending that didnt just happen and look out
the window. Thank you. I half-heartedly thank him.
That one small move has turned the entire atmosphere of the trip. It went
from a nice weekend, learning new ideas for my career to the possibility of
having to fend off my boss again. He is nowhere near the kind of dirtbag
Patrick was, but I still feel very tense. So much so that my fists have white
knuckles and because this is a work trip I cant ask the flight attendant for a
drink. If it comes down to it, Im going to have to shut down Derrick. I thought
our talk after Trins party would have done the trick. I guess not.
God Casen would lose his shit if I told him.
No, he will lose his shit because Im not hiding anything from him anymore.
Ill have to tell him once I get back.
The rest of the flight goes without another incident. I hope that Derrick got
the hint. I hadnt spoken more than a few words to him since takeoff and now we
are collecting our luggage at the carousel. He grabs my bags, along with his, and
leads us outside to the waiting line of cabs. He gives our cabbie the address to
the hotel and slinks back into his seat.
When is the first panel again? I ask, trying to relieve some of the tension
that is clouding the air. If I have to spend all weekend with him, I prefer not to
do it without speaking.
A quick glance at his watch and he answers, The panels start tomorrow,
tonight is the meet and greet dinner.
I nod, but he cant see it. He is looking out the other window. I take the time
to turn on my cell phone and message Casen.
Me: Im here.
Casen: Thank you for letting me know. I miss you already.
Me: I miss you too.
Casen: and your fucking hot body.
I blush, glancing over to see Derrick still not looking my way, before
deciding to join in.
Me: I miss riding your face, Casen. I want to smother you with my pussy.
 Casen: Thats enough.
Me: Can dish it out but cant take it. You know what I can take? Your
whole cock in my mouth.
Casen: Im warning you, Embyr. Im going to spank your ass.
Me: Dont tease me. Just imagining your red handprint on my ass has
me soaking wet.
Casen: You can type it all you want but tonight weve got a phone sex
date.
My body tingles with excitement. Ive never had phone sex but I know that
just hearing Casens voice may just take me over the edge. My sexual appetite
has been at its peak since I started dating him. Besides the time we were apart, I
dont think Casen and I have gone for more than a day without some sort of
release. Even when Im out of commission, on my monthly visitor, I still crave
giving him a release.
The hotel is beautiful. From the street, it looks like it was built in the early
nineteen hundreds but inside its all been updated and modern. The marble floor
leads to a granite check-in desk, dark wood surrounds the lobby. Red drapes fall
from the tops of the two story ceiling. I dont think Id ever be able to afford one
night in the place let alone three.
Checking in, Derrick tells the petite brunette woman at the counter. Quinn
and Masters.
She types a few keys before looking closely at the screen. She hands us the
keys. Thank you, Mr. Masters. Here are your room keys. Youre in room 654
and Ms. Quinn is in 656. Adjoining rooms, like you requested.
I stand there stunned as Derricks face turns a dark shade of red. He says
nothing as we enter the elevators, and he hits the sixth floor button.
Deciding to get it over with I ask, Why did you ask for adjoining rooms?
He looks dejectedly at me. Itll just be easier to open the door that goes
between both rooms than to go through my door than yours.
But why would we need to do that?
Embyr, were at a conference. There is a lot to be learned. We will have
much to talk about. His blond hair falls onto his face, and he brushes it over
with his fingers.
I nod but still feel uneasy.
 We agree to meet at five oclock. I enter my room, immediately going to the
door that connects to his. I secure the lock and make sure there are no peepholes
to look through.
The room is a decent size and matches the lobby almost exactly. Dark wood
panels line the wall and red drapes are hung over the windows. A queen size bed
lies between two nightstands and a small couch, desk, and chair is on the far side
of the room. I walk into the bathroom and gasp. The tub is huge with a separate
shower and toilet behind its own door. I cant imagine the cost of this hotel but
this is where the conference is and so this is where theyd like us to stay.
Smiling I strip out of my clothes and start to draw up a bath, knowing I have
three hours to get myself ready for tonight.
The meet and greet was phenomenal and the open bar helped my nerves very
much. I am usually good at meeting new people but Derrick has been glued to
my side, touching me any chance he can, and it made for a long night of
thwarting his advances. He and I are going to have a talk. The doors to the
elevator open to our floor and we walk along the soft, dark red carpet down to
the end of the long hallway. When we reach our doors I turn to him.
Derrick, I need to say something.
He steps closer, my senses going on high alert. Dont. He commands, just
before he grabs my neck and crashes our lips together. I fight. I push, but he
continues. He sneaks his tongue into my unwilling mouth, and I can taste the
bourbon he had been drinking all night. I make one more attempt to push him
off. This time he gets the point.
His chest heaves up and down as if hes run a marathon and my foot is
itching to kick him straight in his balls. I wipe my mouth. What the fuck,
Derrick?
His eyes widen. Ive never uttered a curse word in his presence but he
fucking deserves it. His head shakes side to side as though he cant believe he
just did that. Im so sorry. He apologizes, pulling his card out and disappearing
into his room.
Slowly, I enter mine and rid myself of my dress, putting on a tank top and
shorts. I think about what just happened as I wash my face and brush my teeth. I
would understand him maybe getting the wrong idea but I clearly was pushing
him away. Now I have to spend the next forty-eight hours with him.
I crawl into bed at ten thirty, my phone lighting up with a message from
Casen asking if Im back at the room yet. Instead of responding, I hit the call
button.
Hey, he answers seductively and I start to tingle.
Hi.
Are you back?
I scoot lower into my bed, torn at how Im supposed to tell him what
happened tonight. This isnt something I can keep to myself until Monday. I
am. Listen, Casen
He interrupts. Are you naked? His voice is lower, intimidating.
My nipples harden and my hands come up to brush over them. Im not but I
can be.
Take off whatever you have on, Embyr, and get on top of the covers. I want
to imagine you completely bare.
I comply, sliding out of the bed and out of my clothes. There is a chill in the
room but I do as he asks and lie on top of the comforter. Its dark and the
windows are closed, so no one will see, but I know Ill have to be quiet, Derrick
is in the other room.
Okay, I tell him. Im ready.
Are you wet? he asks. Reach down and tell me.
My fingers snake down my body, dipping into my pussy. Its slick. Yes. I
breathe out a moan.
Im fucking rock hard, Em. I want to bury my cock so fucking deep inside
you. I cant stand it. Stick two fingers inside yourself.
I dont verbally respond but add my middle finger to my pointer, making sure
my thumb grazes my clit. His voice, the cold it ignites me. I moan louder.
Work it in, baby. Fast. I want to hear you come on your fingers. Talk to me.
Tell me what youre doing.
Oh God, I whisper. Im finger fucking myself, Casen. Im so damn wet
just from your voice. Are you jerking yourself off?
No. Not yet. I want to hear you come first. His breathing is heavy and
quiet. Finger fuck your pussy faster, Embyr.
I do, feeling my slickness coat each digit thoroughly. Im going to come. I
feel a tingling start in my toes. They curl, and it radiates up into my spine.
Circle your clit, baby. Think about riding my face.
I do, and the vision shoots me over the edge. I dont give a shit who is next
door. I cry out, my knees falling to the side as I ride out the aftershocks of my
orgasm.
Thats my girl. He purrs. So fucking loud.
I can feel my face burn with embarrassment. I can only imagine how much of
that Derrick heard and my heart jumps as someone knocks on the door.
Shit! I whisper harshly. Someones at the door.
Open it.
No! Im naked, Casen, and embarrassed. I groan.
Three more knocks. Open it, Embyr. Casen commands. I want to see you.
Dont put anything on. Just open it.
I freeze, paralyzed with the thought Casen might be here and hoping like hell
Im not getting my hopes up. I keep the phone at my ear and tiptoe to the door.
Taking a peek through the peephole I find its blocked. Is that you? Are you
here?
I want you to open the door. Open it fucking wide, Embyr, and you better be
naked. Your hands better be soaked with your orgasm because I want to lick it
off them. Open. The. Fucking. Door.
My throat constricts as I unlatch the security bar and slide the door handle
down. I take a deep breath and throw the door all the way open, placing my trust
in Casen and hoping like hell its him on the other side.
It is.
What are you doing here?
He eyes my naked form up and down. I wanted to be here with you so that
during your off time youd have someone to do. He winks.
All six feet of him takes over the doorway as he pushes me in, turning on the
soft light of the entryway, and moves me to the bed. He drops his stuff onto the
floor and grabs my right hand. He places it in his mouth, licking between each
finger. Fuck, Embyr. Lay down. I want to lick the rest of this up from between
your legs.
He shoves my shoulders, essentially pushing me to the soft blanket and lifts
my legs over his shoulders. His fingers spread my lips apart and his tongue
begins to soak up the remnants of my self-induced orgasm.
When hes finished, he quickly stands up, ridding himself of all his clothes.
My jaw drops. Even though Ive seen him naked dozens of times I still am in
shock of how well kept his body his. The tight lines of his muscles make me
want to run my tongue along every crevice. His knee comes up onto the bed and
the sound of a notification coming from my phone distracts his purpose. He
picks it up, and his brow furrows.
Why is your boss texting you right now and apologizing? he asks, angrily.
I sit up, taking the phone from him and read the message.
Derrick Masters: Im so sorry, Embyr. Id like to talk about it in the
morning.
I sit up, forcing him to sit up as well, ready to extinguish this heat. I was
going to tell you before we started our little phone session.
Telling Casen face to face, with the perpetrator on the other side of the wall,
is much harder than I would have imagined. He stills. Tell me what?
Both of us are sitting here naked and I feel as though we need to get dressed.
I almost suggest we do but I dont want to prolong this. He kissed me tonight.
Its eerie. The calm he exudes right now. He doesnt turn red. He doesnt start
breathing heavy. He doesnt storm off. He just quietly asks, Did you kiss him
back?
I shake my head. No, absolutely not. I pushed him away immediately.
He bites the side of his cheek. Where is his room? He doesnt stand up.
Doesnt move to put any clothes.
Hesitantly, I point to the wall. Right next to us.
He shakes the bed, the headboard hitting the wall, and then crawls up my
body, compelling me to lie down.
What are you doing? I ask.
A devious smile plays over his lips. Claiming you.
Im going to have a lot to explain to Derrick in the morning. Like why,
despite my attempts, I was yelling out Casens name as the headboard banged
into our neighboring wall.
***
 The next morning, Casen and I find Derrick at the breakfast buffet. Derrick
eyes us skeptically but soon, recognition registers, and then fear.
Casen walks straight to him, extending a hand. Casen Parker, Embyrs
boyfriend.
Derricks eyes grow wide as he looks from Casen, to me, then back to Casen.
Derrick Masters. Embyrs boss.
Their hands drop.
Nice to meet you, Casen tells him. If you could keep your hands and your
lips off my girlfriend Id appreciate it.
II didnt know shshe. Derrick stutters. Its the first time Ive seen him
rattled and Im embarrassed for the both of us.
I know you didnt. Now you do. Next time I wont be so civil. Casen walks
over, kisses me on the cheek and says, Ill be upstairs if you want a break
between your sessions. Then lowers his voice. Then we can have a few of our
own.
I blush, and he leaves me to Derrick. Morning.
Listen, Embyr. Im so sorry.
I nod. Its okay. Were good now. Lets just forget it happened.
Done, he says, picking up some fruit and placing it on his plate. Lets get
fueled up for the day.
I grab some food and we take a seat at a table for two in the corner. Im
amazed at how easily that all just went.
He must really love you. He comments. To come all this way only to
spend a little time with you.
I hope so.
 FIFTEEN

CASEN

It was an interesting weekend, to say the least. My surprise visit to Embyr in

New York for a few days was extended until Tuesday so we could spend some
time seeing the sites. Not to mention a little public sex in Central Park. I have an
insatiable appetite for her. I dont know why I dropped six hundred dollars for a
last minute flight but if Im going to go all in, I want to be all in.
I was pissed to find out her boss kissed her. I wanted to break his door down
and beat the shit out of him, but what would that do? It would prove nothing. So
I fucked Embyr seven ways from Sunday and made sure the next morning he
knew she was mine, if he didnt know already.
He kept his hands to himself and even joined Embyr and me for dinner on
Sunday night. As much as my fists were clenched in his presence, I couldnt
blame the guy for wanting her. He also didnt know she had a boyfriend, but we
fixed that.
Every day it gets easier and easier to see Embyr for the woman she is
becoming lately and not the one who tried to ruin me. Things are starting to feel
normal for us. Most nights are spent at my house, and in my bed, with the
exception of when I have to work. Reece and I recently took our Lieutenant test
and should hear the results any day. He and I are on speaking terms now, and he
apologized when Embyr brought us dinner to the station a few nights ago. I still
feel distant from him but I know that will pass in time. He and Trinity have been
getting closer as well. It seems as though we are falling back into normal life if
you want to call it that.
Embyr left for work an hour ago and Im about to head to the gym when my
phone rings. Its my mom calling and I pick up right away.
Hey, Ma!
Hi, Casen. This is your mom, she tells me.
I laugh. I know, Ma. Thats why I said Hi, Ma. I have caller ID.
Pish posh. She chastises. I wanted to make sure you knew it was me and
not one of those girls you date.
Girl. I correct. Just one. Embyr.
Ah, Embyr. Are we back together? I thought you didnt sound like much of
a pissant today. She laughs.
We are. I took your advice and we are working through it all.
Thats good to hear, Casen. Are you working today?
I take a sip from my water bottle. Im not.
She sighs. Okay, be here at six-thirty tonight, with Embyr. The Smiths are
coming over and Im making enough for the neighborhood.
I let the door close behind me as I leave my place. I need to ask Embyr if
shes free.
I know she is free. Shes coming here after work again, but I dont want to
put her into a situation she doesnt want to be in.
Six thirty, Casen Grant Parker. She lays down the hammer using my full
name.
I hit the button on the elevator, rolling my eyes. Yes, maam.
***
Embyr is fidgeting from the passenger side of my truck. Her hands are
wound tightly into one another, and her right leg is bouncing at a rapid pace.
I burrow my hand between hers, snagging the left one. Baby, you need to
calm down. Do you need me to stop and get you off before we get there? I joke,
but to be honest, Id do it in a fucking heartbeat.
She side eyes me, and I wink, causing her to laugh. No, Im just nervous. I
know you told your mom who I am but Im a wreck knowing Ians parents will
be there as well. Im not sure I want to tell them.
Squeezing her hand I reassure her. We dont have to tell them, okay?
Not looking my way, she agrees. Okay.
I think every light in the lower level of my parents house is on when we
arrive. The front door is open to the two story brick house on the corner. I can
smell my moms meatloaf as soon as I step out of the truck.
Walking over to Embyrs side, I open her door. She slips out, adjusting her
jeans and light pink sweater. Its a beautiful house, Casen. She compliments.
 I take her hand in mine and lead her up the stone sidewalk. Thank you. It
was nice growing up here and have all this room in the yard to goof off in.
I live in the housing development across the street from Lake Arlington
where Embyr grew up. I was within walking distance and sometimes I would
ride my bike over to her side and just sit. I wasnt a stalker. At first, I was just
waiting to see if she ever came out and maybe get a chance to talk to her. After
what we did, I would ride over just to make sure she was okay. Before the bet
her house seemed full of life, afterward all the shades would always be closed.
I point across the street. Ian lived there in that green house, and Reece lived
down the street.
Her head dips a little. I know where they lived.
Stopping just before the stoop to the entryway, I pull her face into my hands.
Embyr, Im sorry. I wasnt thinking. Sometimes I forget.
Her face shakes up and down in my hands. I know. I do too. Its okay.
Sometimes its good to forget.
I give her the briefest of kisses before my mom throws the glass door open.
Casen! Embyr! Come in! Stop trying to make babies out here.
We both laugh. Mom, stop! I tell her.
She ignores me, dragging Embyr in for a hug, before pulling back and taking
her in. I mean, I want grandbabies, and you two would make beautiful ones but
not yet. Make him put a ring on it if he likes it.
Embyr bursts into a fit of giggles. Oh my God, I love your mom, she tells
me after we walk inside. Shes so funny.
I slap her ass out of view of everyone. Yeah, shes hilarious!
I feel a small amount of weight lifted that was on my shoulders now that my
mom has broken the ice a little bit.
We meet my mom in the kitchen. Shes pulling the meatloaf out of the oven.
I hope you like it, Embyr. This is Casens favorite. She slams the steel door
shut and looks at Embyr. Remind me to give you the recipe before you leave.
Id love that.
My mom leans on the counter and stares at the two of us, not saying a word.
Im about to say something when Mom breaks the awkward silence. Embyr.
Casen has told me everything.
 Embyrs eyes grow wide. I dont think she was expecting a chat about this
tonight. I know. He told me you two spoke.
Mom. I step toward her. Im not sure
Casen, hush it. She waves a ladle at me. This isnt your business.
I scoff, crossing my arms over my chest.
Now. She continues. What my son did and didnt do back in high school
was disappointing. For him to stand by and not help you, well, I just thought I
raised him better than that. I will say that Im glad you came after my son.
MOM!
She shakes her head as Embyr continues to just stare in disbelief. No, no,
hear me out. Ive seen a shift in him, and even if your intention was to hurt him,
Im glad you two saw the light and fell for one another. The whole situation is
shitty, but Im thankful its turning out the way that it is.
Me too, Mrs. Parker. Embyr smiles shyly. Me too.
Well, you two skedaddle for a bit. I need to finish up, she tells us, pulling
out some pans from the bottom cabinet.
Do you need any help? Embyr offers.
My mom shakes her head. No, thank you. Everyone should be here in the
next thirty minutes.
Come on, I grab Embyrs hand, Ill show you my room.
As we hit the bottom of the stairs, my mom yells from the kitchen. No
making babies up there!
Embyr and I both laugh.
My room hasnt changed much since I left for college. I wasnt the typical
college graduate who lived at home for a long time after graduation. I was here
maybe a month before I got a job and moved out with Ian and Reece so there
was no need to change anything in my room. Im surprised my parents havent
turned it into an office or some shit like that.
Wow! Embyr exclaims stepping into my room. Well, isnt this a
throwback to high school.
I have nineties posters all over the wall and pictures of high school friends,
football games, race nights, and trophies everywhere. I grab a hold of Embyr
around her waist as she runs her fingers along my yearbooks on my desk. I pull
her hair back and kiss her neck. You smell amazing.
Thank you. She picks up a trophy and sets it back down. I always
wondered what your room looked like.
Her ass pushes back into me, waking up my cock. I always wondered what
youd look like in my room.
Embyr cranes her neck to the side, her soft lips searching for mine. Did you
fantasize about me in here?
Taking that as my cue, I pop open the button of her jeans and slowly lower
the zipper. I did.
Her hand stops mine. Didnt your mom say no making babies? She laughs.
Twisting my hand, I release myself from hers and dip it into her panties. A
calm comes over me as I feel how wet she is. Im not going to stick my dick in
you, Embyr. Im going to just release a little of your tension.
She leans onto the desk, her palms taking the brunt of her weight, as I find
her clit and circle around it between my thumb and pointer finger. She moans, so
I wrap my free hand around her mouth and whisper harshly, Be quiet.
Her teeth bite my finger and it amps me up. Id love nothing more than to
fuck her right now but I know my fingers can have her there in under a minute.
Putting that theory to the test, I pinch her sensitive nub and clamp onto her
shoulder with my teeth. My fingers start to rub at a hurried pace. Her muffled
moans get louder. Her ass pushes back into my cock. Faster and faster I work her
over and in no time shes screaming into my hand and pulsing underneath my
touch.
Thats my girl, I speak softly into her ear. I love how I know your body so
well. I knew I could get you to come in less than a minute.
She reaches back, grabbing my stiff dick. Your turn?
Just as Im about to command her onto her knees the doorbell rings. I secure
the button and zipper of her jeans before turning her around, grabbing her jaw.
Not now, but later, this mouth will be swallowing my come. Plan on it.
I walk to the adjoining bathroom and start to wash my hands. When Im
finished drying them, the room becomes crowded as Embyr closes the door
behind her.
Seductively, she lowers herself to her knees and unzips my pants. I bet I can
get you off in under a minute as well.
 My cock slips into her wet mouth and she proves she can do just that.
Everyone is staring at us when we reach the bottom step. I dont have to look
to know that Embyrs face is red. That womans mouth feels like heaven. Not as
much as her pussy but I can make comparisons later tonight.
Nice of you to join us, son. My dad, in his over six foot glory, comments
extending a hand.
I was showing Embyr around.
Mr. Parker. Embyr shakes his hand. Nice to meet you.
My dads head tilts to the side. My wife has filled me in. I think we may
have met a long time ago, but its nice to see you again.
Likewise, she responds.
Its funny to see the polite side to Embyr. One minute shes sucking me off
and the next she is being shy. I have so much more to learn about her.
Ians parents are sitting in the living room. Even though its been quite a
while since Ian has passed, they still look dejected. I dont know how long it
takes to get over the death of a child. I assume you never do. I cant imagine
their pain and on top of losing him, the killer is still out there free. They stand
when we walk over and Mrs. Smith pulls Embyr into an embrace. When she
releases her, Ians mom has tears streaming down her face.
Annie, Im so sorry. She cries.
Embyr flinches as do I. Its awkward to hear her called by her birth name. Its
not that I try to separate the two anymore but I still have a hard time relating the
two, and Im not sure Embyr is going to take it well.
Mrs. Smith. She starts to tear up. Please call me Embyr and why are you
apologizing?
Ians dad just stands back, looking more confused by the second. Why are
you calling her Annie? he asks.
Shes looking at Embyr but answering her husband. This is Annie Barnes.
The one our Ian She doesnt finish that sentence. I dont know if anyone
wants to hear it anyway. My hackles rise. I dont want Embyr to get upset. Im
just so sorry all that happened to you. I cant tell you how thankful I am that
youve turned out to be such a beautiful, successful womanfrom what I hear
from Kate anyway.
Ah, Kate. I dont know how I could have thought she wouldnt have told her
mom. Mr. Smith still looks confused but changes the subject immediately.
Looking to me, he extends a hand toward the dining room. Shall we eat?
Dinner is awkward, to say the least. My mom keeps commenting on how
much of a cute couple we make. Ians mom wont stop staring at Embyr like at
any moment she will burst into tears. My dad and Mr. Smith talk about golf and
football. Im on the other side of the table than them, leaving me to keep the
estrogen to a minimal level.
When dinner and dessert are done, and the kitchen is clean, I decide to get
Embyr the hell out of there. If she has to hear how adorable our kids will look
anymore Im sure she will run from the house screaming. We almost make it to
the door after our goodbyes when Mrs. Smith grabs a hold of Embyrs arm.
I know Ive been acting weird tonight. Its just been an off day, but when I
heard that you were coming to dinner I wanted to make sure I talked to you.
What Ian did, that was wrong. I want you to know that I had spoken to him on
more than one occasion about what happened. He told me everything. The bet
Reece started and how he didnt know it was being taped. I just pray he was
telling me the truth when he said he didnt release that video of you.
Embyr grabs both of her hands. Mrs. Smith, what happened in the past is in
the past. Youre correct, it was so very wrong, but Im letting it all go. Ian wasnt
lying to you when he said he didnt send that video out. It wasnt him, and even
if it had been, Im done letting all of that lead my life. Im making my parents
proud.
I was sorry to hear about them, she sadly tells Embyr.
Thank you. I know you are still grieving, and my showing up again may
have brought back some things you werent exactly proud of your son doing, but
if you could focus on all the good he did do. The stuff that made you smile. His
success. His job. His beautiful place. His love for you all and his sister. Thats
what you should be holding onto.
She hugs Embyr before we leave.
Halfway down the street I look over at Embyr and see tears streaming down
her face. I pull over and unlatch her seatbelt. She slides over into my lap, and I
hold her until shes ready to talk.
The windows start to steam up, but I could care less. I just need to comfort
her.
Casen. She finally starts. That was rough. I never thought I would have to
comfort someone for the shitty things their child did to me, but it was a turning
point for me. It was easy for me to tell her to think of all the good of Ian. He may
have done some shitty things to me but I would never want my parents to have to
apologize for all the crap I did when I was younger. When I sit down and look
back, I should have fought. I should have said fuck it and stood up for myself.
Listen. I pull her off my chest and look her square in the face. Dont you
ever apologize for not being stronger back then. What happened was not your
fault.
It feels that way sometimes. I shouldnt have slept with Ian. I shouldnt have
let him do that.
I hold her close because I feel like I dont have the words to fix this now.
 SIXTEEN

CASEN

I walk out of Embyrs room to make some coffee before I leave for the
station and turn my head when I hear Trinitys door open up. Im surprised to
find Reece walking out, pulling a shirt over his head.
Casen. He grumbles. Reece isnt much of a morning person but you would
think if he spent the night with Trinity hed have a little less crank in him than
usual.
Reece. Coffee?
He grunts, following me out to their kitchen. I make a full pot of coffee
knowing Embyr will want some when shes out of the shower. I fill up two of the
one time use to go cups Embyr bought specifically for mornings after I sleep
over and have to work. Reece says nothing as he goes about adding cream and
sugar. A look at my watch shows its just after six oclock in the morning.
No sleep last night? I tease but my laugh stops in my throat when he looks
up at me. He seems annoyed.
Not really. Someone kept me up.
Im confused. That seems to upset you.
Yea, well. He takes a sip of coffee. Maybe next time you all could be
quieter.
Fuck it. Im asking. Are you and Trinity still not having sex?
Oh, we are. Trintys sing-song voice fills the kitchen. We just finished
long before you two even started. She makes herself a cup of coffee, loading it
with cream. I have to say, Casen. You can get pretty loud. Maybe Embyr should
gag you.
I almost spit out my drink. The vision of Embyr putting tape over my mouth
and handcuffing me to the bed gives me a nice little fantasy to play out later. I
have no comment.
She eyes me skeptically then laughs just as Embyr enters the kitchen in a
short robe.
What are you all talking about? she asks but stops short when she sees
Reece. I know there is still a lot of tension between the two of them and I hope it
can all be resolved sooner rather than later. I dont think Trinity knows that
Reece cornered Embyr. He did apologize, but I know she is still hesitant around
him.
Oh, just how you need to gag your man, Trin answers. He was so fucking
loud. Between the two of you, no one got any sleep.
I wrap my arms around Embyrs waist and secure my lips over hers, sucking
her tongue into my mouth. A loud bang startles us apart.
Do you want to ride together? Reeces voice is laced with annoyance.
What the fuck is his problem?
Sure. I give Embyr a quick peck and grab my cup. Lets go.
Once we get to work and settled, we immediately get a call and are out the
door. It isnt until three oclock that we get any sort of down time.
So, you and Trinity seem to be going strong. Is it getting serious?
Reece and I havent talked much and I cant gauge his reaction. I havent
seen him with other women and now that I know they are sleeping together, not
just a one night stand type of thing, I have hope for him. I know weve had our
differences but I want him to be happy. Hes still my best friend, even if he does
make shitty choices.
He twists open a bottle of water before turning on the television. I think so. I
mean, it took a while after Embyr told her all the shitty things I was responsible
for back in high school and she still gave me a chance. She was there for Ians
funeral. Theres just this intense connection I cant figure out, and the sex is
incredible.
I laugh at him. That intense connection is love, man. You love Trinity and
between waiting for sex and feeling that way about her, Im sure thats why its
so incredible.
He looks my way. You think so. You think I love her?
I nod. I know so. Ive never seen you like this before.
He settles deeper into the couch. Something still seems off but I kind of like
this feeling. Makes me feel like an asshole for giving you a hard time.
 Well, you are an asshole. I punch him in the shoulder.
A bang on the doorframe catches our attention. Its Captain. Check your
email, boys. Results are in. His smile tells me its good news.
Reece and I both race up the stairs to the media room and he hits the one and
only computer first. Sure I could check on my phone but if I made it, I want to
see it in big letters.
Fuck, man. I groan, shoving him in the back. Hurry up.
He finds the Yahoo website and enters his info. I pace behind him, waiting to
hear if he made Lieutenant or not but hear nothing. After a minute I look to find
his head down on the desk.
Fuck.
I didnt make it. He mumbles. Fuck. I really needed this.
I put my hand on his shoulder. Im sorry, Reece. I was pulling for you.
He clicks out of the internet and stands up, allowing me to take his spot. Im
not sure I want to look at this now that I found out Reece didnt make the cut.
What if I failed too? What if I passed? That would be bad.
I rip the Band-aid off and log in finding the email waiting for me.
Its worse. Not only did I make it, but a second email states they have an
opening for me here at our station.
Whats it say? Reece asks from behind me.
I dont want to tell him. Weve gone through and done everything together.
College. Training. Finding a job. I knew making Lieutenant might mean we
would be separated but I didnt think only one of us would pass. I take a deep
breath knowing that if it was the other way around, I would be happy for him.
Right?
I made Lieutenant, I tell him in a monotone voice and swallow before I
finish. They have a spot for me here.
Reece picks up a chair and shoves it across the floor. Are you fucking
kidding me? Youre joking right?
Offended, I stand up. I understand youre upset about not getting a spot but
you seem more upset that I got one.
He shoves me. I am! Just like I told you, Casen. You always get everything.
Im so fucking sick of it.
 What the fuck? Where the hell did this come from? I thought we hashed it all
out.
Fuck you, Reece. I shove him back.
He launches at me, and we crash to the floor. I hit the leg of the desk and a
shooting pain strikes my head. I push on his chest but he doesnt move.
Dont you get tired of everything being handed to you, Casen? he yells,
punching me in the jaw.
I brace both feet onto the ground, pushing Reece up, and he falls off me. I
stand and look down at him. He looks pitiful. Never fucking touch me again,
Reece. Do you fucking hear me? Everything I have I worked for. I point a
finger at him. Ive supported you through everything. I forgave you for what
you did to Embyr. This is how you react when I get a promotion. Youre
supposed to be my best friend.
What the fuck is going on in here? Captain yells, stopping short when he
sees me. Youre forehead is busted open, Parker.
My fingers brush my temple and bring back blood. Fuck.
Cap points at Reece. He do that?
Reece rises to his feet, seemingly ready to accept whatever is about to happen
to him.
I shake my head no. I fell.
Captain looks disappointed. Head to the ER. You probably need stitches. Ill
call someone in. Want me to write a report?
I glance over at Reece. His hands are on his hips, and his head has fallen to
his chest. Coward wont even look at me. No, not necessary. Ill keep you
posted.
Im almost to the door when Captain calls me back. Congrats.
I nod in thanks. Reece is looking up now but he still has murder in his eyes.
Three stitches. Three stitches were all I needed, and I was ready to go back to
the station but someone had already been brought in. Luckily, when I called
Embyr and told her I was headed to the emergency room she took the rest of the
day off and met me there. Sexiest fucking nurse ever. She picked up some ice
cream and beer on the way back to my place and ordered a pizza. She wont let
me lift a finger.
 Baby, I can take my own shoes off. I laugh watching her try to untie my
double knots.
She waves me off. No, no. I got it. Or I will eventually.
Come here. I command, forcing her up and into my lap. She kneels on
either side of my legs and wraps her arms around my neck. Thank you.
Her brows furrow. For what?
I shrug. I dont know. Its just nice to have someone take care of me. I only
had to get three stitches. I cant imagine if it were something worse.
Her eyes slit. Dont talk like that.
My lips meet hers and on their own accord my hands slide up under her shirt.
She moans and then detaches herself from me.
No, Casen. Her ass lands on the cushion beside me. You know Im not
buying that whole I fell off my bed bullshit you gave the doctor. Do you want
to tell me what really happened?
I made Lieutenant. I grin at her, giving myself the first chance to be proud
of my accomplishment.
Ahhh. She taps her chin. And you decided the best way to celebrate was
for you to bang your head on a wall?
No.
Jump off the fire truck?
I laugh. No.
While I am so beyond proud of you and will give you a lap dance later to
celebrate, Id like to know how that has anything to do with the gash on your
forehead.
Breathing out a harsh breath, I turn my body toward her. Well, right before I
found out I passed, Reece got an email saying he didnt.
She hesitates. Oh no!
I frown. Yeah and to twist the knife in deeper, they had a spot for me in our
station.
She slaps me on the shoulder. Thats amazing!
It is, but Reece... My head throbs so I rub my bandage. He didnt take it
so well. Threw a fucking hissy fit about how I get everything handed to me and
he gets nothing. I dont know what his fucking problem is but I know we cant
repair this. He threw a chair then tackled me to the ground. I hit my head on the
leg of the desk.
Her gasp fills the room. He attacked you? Oh my God, Casen! What the
fuck?
Thats what I said. I dont get it. He has had this pole way up his ass lately,
and his mood is only getting worse. I dont even know what will set him off
anymore. We grew up wanting to do this together but I would hope that if the
roles were reversed I would be happy for him and then go grumble over a beer or
six.
Embyr is quiet and I leave her to digest it all. I know she and Reece arent
getting along and this wont help.
Well, she pats the cushion and stands up, Im going to get you a beer and
then well eat!
Im worried about her tone. It almost sounds Stepford wife-ish. Are you
okay?
Her body twists back to mine. Im great. Im just trying to get this night
moved along so I can give you that lap dance I promised. And with a wink, she
walks into the kitchen.
***
Its well past nine oclock at night before dinner is finished, dessert has been
consumed, and everything is cleaned up. Embyr hasnt let me do a damn thing
and I watch as she flutters around my house. She knows where everything is and
I can envision her living here and us building a life together. I wasnt joking
when I told her I could see myself marrying her. If we can get through all the shit
we have so far, I have no hesitation that we cant make it through the rest of our
life with one anotherstarting with us moving in together. So, I blurt out. You
should move in with me. Or tell.
Turning around to face me from the counter, she pops her hip out. Whys
that? A smile plays on her lips.
I get up from the couch and walk over to her, circling my hands around her.
I like having you here.
Arching up on her tiptoes she kisses me. I do too, but I just bought my
condo and Id like to maybe not rush into anything just yet. We have time.
 Slapping her ass, I give in to her reasoning. Youre right. Now if youre
done, Id like to open my blinds as wide as they will go and have you strip down
to that banging fucking body you have.
Her face burns bright, and she playfully shoves me. Wont someone see
me?
My eyebrows rise. Ill turn the lights off. You can dance with the light of the
moon.
A notification from her cell comes from inside her purse. She heads over to
get it. Go sit down.
I comply and watch as she pulls her phone out of her bag and swipes the
screen. She lets out a hmm and then hits the button to shut it off.
What was that about? I ask while settling myself in and getting
comfortable for the show.
Her fingers grab the hem of her shirt and she pulls it up and over her head,
leaving her in just a thin tank top and lacy white bra. My boss.
Her boss? Its late. Why is he texting you? I cant keep the jealousy out of
my voice. I thought that asshole knew she was mine.
She slips her socks off and crosses the distance between us after flicking off
the light. I scoot forward, going straight for the zipper of her dress pants.
He told me to come see him in his office first thing tomorrow. She slaps
my hand. And stop it! This is a strip tease. I do all of the stripping.
I lie back and enjoy the show.
 SEVENTEEN

EMBYR

Oh my God. I moan into my bicep trying to keep quiet, but Casens tongue
on my pussy, waking me up in the morning, is the most spectacular thing that
could ever happen.
Quit squirming, Embyr, or Ill bite you. He growls as he spreads my lips
apart.
I grow wetter with the threat. Bite it, Casen.
His teeth take my clit between them, and his lips suction over my skin. I grab
the back of his head with my hands and push it further into me. I dont give a
shit if Im smothering him. This feels too fucking incredible to care if he lives or
dies.
Yes. I cry, feeling that familiar tingle I get right before everything crashes
and I come undone underneath him. I start to pulse, and he sucks harder. More.
I beg, but Im not sure there is more to give.
He glides a finger inside me and crooks it, hitting a spot that only he has ever
been able to find. My eyes shut tightly and just as Im about to come, the waves
starting to ripple, Casen removes his mouth and fingers from me and lifts my
hips off the bed, impaling me with his cock. I scream out in agony and pleasure.
I wasnt ready for him and the pain amplifies how good it fucking feels. His
thumb rubs over my clit and off I go like a finely tuned piano. He plays my body
like an instrument.
Casen! I scream. Yes! Im coming.
A few more thrusts and he follows behind me. I can feel his cock throb inside
me, and it creates a second orgasm. This one is more intense than the first.
He falls on top of me, his sweaty forehead meeting mine, and steals a kiss
from my lips. When our breathing evens out, he lifts his head and looks into my
eyes. Thank you for taking care of me yesterday.
I grin. Of course.
 His fingers start to play with my hair. It feels amazing. So good in fact that
my eyes shut, and Im on the brink of falling back asleep before he calls my
name again. Embyr.
MmmHmm. I breath out, all energy lost despite the great sleep I got last
night.
Im going to need you to open those eyes so I can say what I want to say.
Fluttering them open, my deep brown irises meet his dilated green ones. He
looks different. Calm and reserved. Something I dont think Ive ever seen
before. He just looks at me, not saying a word, and I start to get worried that
what he is about to tell me isnt good.
Casen, youre scaring me. I reach up, placing my hands on his sides.
He shakes his head. Im scared too, but I couldnt go one more day without
telling you I love you, Embyr Quinn.
***
I cant help the shit-eating grin on my face as the elevator doors slide open at
work. He loves me. He said he loves me. Yes, Ive heard him say it before but it
was behind false pretenses. He said hes in love with me and we have no secrets
between the two of us. For the first time in over ten years, I finally feel as though
my life is headed in the right direction. Steady job. Great place to live. Food on
the table. Boyfriend who loves me. I am just bursting at the seams. Its been a
long time since I have had so much good going on in my life.
The office is eerily quiet when I enter. No one is at reception and the few
doors I pass are closed. I know Im a bit early but I cant imagine Im the only
one here. Derrick should have arrived already.
I set my purse and case down, opening it up and pulling out another framed
picture of Casen and me, displaying it prominently next to my computer. I fire
that up while putting my phone on its charger and ridding myself of my jacket.
Id like to get settled in before I meet with Derrick. Im only a tiny bit
concerned with what he wants to talk to me about. I know that I took off early
yesterday from work but he had said he understood and instructed me to take
half a personal day.
I still cant believe that Reece attacked Casen. Something is up with him, and
it seems his temper is only getting worse. I was happy Casen spoke to him about
our encounter but it just seems to have set off a chain reaction that is tearing a
hole in their friendship. I dont want to come between them, but Casen insists
Im not.
I guess I always have though, havent I? Reece liked me in high school,
which blows my mind, and it fueled him to make that betthe one that
essentially ruined my teenage years and early twenties. If this is just the start of
Reece going back to his devious ways after supposedly changing, then Im not
sure I want to be a part of that. I told Casen last night I would just prefer to stay
away from him, which might not work since Trinity and Reece are now officially
datingand fucking. Jesus, they make the walls rattle, but I know we do the
same.
I was surprised when Casen mentioned me moving in with him. As much as I
would love to I dont think right now is a good idea. Weve only just begun the
healing process and moving in may cloud our real feelings.
Sounds like something my therapist would say, I mutter aloud, and then
laugh at myself for talking to no one.
Once my computer is up, I click on my email, quickly scanning them to make
sure there is nothing pressing when one catches my attention. Its from Casen. I
smile and snag my lip between my teeth thinking about how he woke me up this
morning. I know I said we shouldnt move in together yet but that would be a
nice added bonus. Before I have the chance to open the email up, my intercom
buzzes.
Ms. Quinn? Derrick calls out from the other end.
Ms. Quinn? We are never formal around here. I can feel my skin start to
prickle. Something doesnt feel right. Yes, Mr. Masters?
If you dont mind heading down to my office, Mrs. Price and I would like to
see you.
I hit the button to respond. Of course. Ill be right down.
My stomach curls within itself. The pain of it coming instantly. Nervousness
has taken over my body, and my hands start to tremble. Mrs. Price is the head of
Human Resources. Why the hell is she in there with him and why does she want
to talk to me? Why are we being so formal?
Just then a text pings from my phone. I detach it from the charger and see its
from Casen.
Casen: Have a good day beautiful. I love you.
I should smile but right now I cant. Im so fucking anxious.
 Me: I love you too. Headed to Derricks office. He has the head of HR in
there.
I leave my phone on my desk and walk down the carpeted hallway to
Derricks office. A few others have arrived but none of them will look at me as I
pass. They say a womans intuition is usually correct. Im pretty sure mine is
telling me I dont want to go in there, but right now I dont have a choice.
His door is closed so I push it open slowly, the hinges creaking as I do. Both
Derrick and Sasha, Mrs. Price, are behind his desk looking at something on his
computer screen. When they hear me enter, both sets of eyes look up.
Sasha walks around the desk, extending a hand toward one of the two chairs.
Have a seat, Ms. Quinn.
Slowly, I lower myself into it as she takes the other. Derrick, who only
looked at me briefly when I entered, is looking directly at Sasha, avoiding my
gaze like the plague.
I glance between the two of them. Whats going on?
Sasha stares at me with pity in her eyes and grabs a hold of my hand. I want
you to know that Im here in this office as an HR representative, but once we
leave this office I am more than happy to talk to you on a personal level.
I look at our hands, my brows furrow in confusion. Okay? I ask, elongating
the word. Does someone want to tell me why I was called in early to speak with
the two of you? I have to say Im feeling very nervous right now.
Embyr, Derrick finally speaks. Yesterday, after you left, the entire staff at
the hotel received an email. I thought maybe it was just to me, but then I had
others come in and let me know they had, in fact, received it as well.
I shake my head, getting frustrated with how long its taking for them to tell
me what the fuck is going on. What email? Can you please just spit it out?
Sasha taps my hands. Ms. Quinn, the email he is referring to had a video file
attached to it. It was something that Im sure you had nothing to do with but it
did involve you.
My heart races. A video?
She nods, and I see out of the corner of my eye Derrick turning the screen
around so I can see. He sits back in the chair. I want you to know I only saw a
minute, and I have not watched more than that. I wasnt sure it was you at first.
A familiar image is blown up onto my boss screen. Me, standing in Reeces
parents garage. Ian Smith with his hand on my back. Derrick doesnt have to
press play for me to know what happens next. I know that Ian brings me over to
the couch and sticks his hands down my pants. I know he places me on my back
and proceeds to convince me to have sex with him. To lose my virginity right
there on videotape, where over a year later would be shared with everyone I
knew. Now, ten years later its being shared with everyone I work with.
No! I stand up, pushing the screen away. Tears prickle the sides of my
eyes. No! That didnt happen. No!
Sasha stands up, pulling me into a hug. Im so sorry, Embyr. I dont know
why he would do that to you, why he would email that to your coworkers.
I sniffle and pull back, rage consuming me. I grab the edge of the screen and
turn it back my way. Grabbing the mouse, I clear out of the video and look for
the sender of the damn email, fully expecting it to be from Reece. He couldnt
have me, so he ruined my lifetwice. My eyes scan to the top. I close them, rub
them, hoping like hell that I misread the sending email address. It cant be.
Casen sent this to you? I whisper but neither has to answer because its
right there. Clear as day. Casen Parker. I feel the walls crumble around me but I
stand firm. Wiping a stray tear from my eyes, I face Sasha. Im sorry you had to
see this. Whats the next step? Am I fired?
I would be devastated if I got fired from this job, but right now I dont think I
can face my coworkers again. Theyve all seen me. Naked me losing my
virginity and the man who showed it to them told me he loved me this morning.
Fuck, five minutes ago in a text.
Embyr, Sasha speaks up. Im not sure how to proceed but I dont think
this is grounds for termination. I just wanted to talk to you and head you off
before everyone else gets to work. I think the best idea right now is for you to
take the rest of the day off, paid of course, and allow us to have tech erase it
from all computers. Theyll be up here in fifteen minutes.
Okay. I look around the room, unsure of what I want to do, and ultimately
walk toward the door. Okay, Im going to go home.
Im so sorry, Derrick says to my back.
Im here if you need to talk. Sasha adds.
Quickly, I walk back down the hallway, keeping my head down so that I
dont have to see the pity or possibly disgust in the eyes of my coworkers. Ive
become friends with most of them since being here and now I cant even look
their way.
I hold back my tears. They arent sad tears, but angry ones, and once I get to
my office I slam my door shut.
My phone is lit, indicating a message, so I storm over and pick it up.
Casen: I bet I know what thats about.
He bets he knows what that was about? Of course he does. He was there
when I got the text from Derrick. He fucked me last night knowing he sent out
that email to everyone. He knows what it did to me back in high school and how
it fueled me to do the horrible things I did.
My head lowers.
Fuck!
It was all a setup. It had to be. He was never going to forgive me for what I
did. He got us back together so he could rip my heart to shreds just like I was
trying to do to him. He told me he loved me just this morning. He took me to
dinner at his parents home. He gave me false hope of a better future. He stuck
up for me when it came to Reece, and for what? Why? Why go through all that if
you are just planning to ruin my career and obliterate my heart? I love this job
and now I have to leave it. All the work Ive done to better myself is gone. He
couldnt just leave me be and walk away. No, he had to get his revenge.
I fall to the floor, my head lying on the seat of my desk chair, and I cry. Tears
spill onto the leather and my head begins to throb. I want to be strong but more
so I want to climb into Casens lap and have him make it all better. Now I know
how he felt when all he wanted was me. I close my eyes and watch as that
beautiful vision of our future together just fades far, far away.
 EIGHTEEN

CASEN

Its been two days since Ive seen or even talked to Embyr. Ive shown up at
her door, at her job. She is nowhere to be found. If I didnt have Trinitys number
I would never even know if she was still alive.
Shes home, Trin yelled at me through the phone. Shes alive but she said
she doesnt want to talk to you.
That didnt stop me from going to her apartment and sleeping outside her
door last night. Its going to make for a rough shift today but I dont give a shit.
She has to come out at some point, doesnt she? I cant figure it out. I thought we
were doing okay. She took care of me when I got those damn stitches and spent
the night. I told her I loved her and when she left I could tell she was happy,
really and truly happy. I dont understand this. Even a fuck off text would be
nice but Im not getting anything from her.
Just after six oclock in the morning, and right before I need to leave for
work, I bang on her door so hard the walls rattle. After the third attempt, Trinity
finally opens it up as much as the chain will allow. She looks like I woke her
from a deep sleep but I dont give a shit.
Wheres Em?
Her eyes roll back in frustration. She doesnt want to see you, Casen,
leave!
Pain radiates through my hand as it hits the wall. EMBYR! I yell over
Trinitys head. Embyr, come out here now!
The door slams in my face and I hear the slide of the chain being released
before it swings back open. Trinity, in her barely there red tank top and short as
fuck boy shorts, comes flying out of the doorway. Both her hands make contact
with my chest as she pushes me. Im a strong guy but she gets me back a few
feet.
Her face comes dangerously close to mine. Listen, asshole! Ive had enough
of you. You fucked her over. You got what you wanted now get the hell out of
here before you wake her up!
Trin. Embyrs sleepy voice comes from behind her. I got this.
My heart skips a beat. Embyr is beautiful but even more so when she just
wakes up. Shes natural and untouched. Simply amazing. This morning though,
she is all of those things but with an added touch of dark circles under her eyes
and sadness written all over her face.
She leans against the wall, listening as Trinity whispers in her ear. Im
sure, she tells her.
Once Trin is inside, Embyr crosses her arms over her chest. Shes adorned in
a white silk robe, and my fingers itch to feel whats underneath. I know every
crevice of her body, and it kills me to feel as though I have no right to it
anymore.
She speaks first, softly, dejected. What do you want, Casen?
I dont know what happened from the time she left my bed until later that
night but there has been a shift and I dont like it. Far too much has happened in
my life these past six months, and Im not sure how much more my mind can
take. Every time I turn around some other kind of drama is happening. Is it so
wrong to want things to calm down for a little while?
What do I want? My fingers grab a hold of my hair in frustration. I want
to know what happened. Why are you not returning my calls?
Her chin falls to her chest, and I spot a tear in the corner of her eye. Its one
lonely single tear that is looking to break the barrier, but Im afraid its a levy
about to release the dam.
You hurt me, Casen, she quietly responds with her arms still crossed in
protection. She looks up with resolve. But I guess that was the point, right? To
get back at me for what I was doing?
One foot of mine steps closer. I go to reach out but drop my hands quickly.
Please explain it to me. I dont know what youre talking about, baby.
She slits her eyes and the coldness of her stare cuts me. Dont call me that.
Not after what you did. Not after sending that damn video to all of my
coworkers!
What are you talking about, Embyr? What video? I never sent anything to
anyone. I dont understand.
When I reach for her this time she falls helplessly into my arms. She beats on
my chest half-heartedly, letting the levy break and the tears come gushing out.
How could you, Casen? I loved you. I was starting a new life, and I was okay
not having you. Then you came back and tore up everything, just like I was
going to do to you, right? She pulls back. Tears careen down her reddened
cheeks. You wanted to hurt me like I was trying to hurt you?
She doesnt stop me when I open her door and lead us to the couch. She sits,
and I get her some water.
I want you to do me a favor, I ask, before sitting alongside her. I want you
to tell me what happened, or what you think I did, and pretend like I have no
fucking clue what that is.
Her tongue wets her lips before she takes a few drinks of water and then sets
it on the table. Her elbows lean onto her knees, and her fingers intertwine. The
video, the one from high school. You sent it to my job. All my coworkers had it
in their inboxes. Her voice rises. You sent the video to them, Casen!
I think for a moment. Im so confused. What the hell is she talking about? I
dont understand, Embyr. I never did that. Why do you think that?
She snatches a tissue from the box on the coffee table and blows her nose. It
came from your email, Casen. You cant tell me you didnt send it.
I shake my head. I can because I didnt. Is that why Derrick called you in
the other day? Someone sent the high school video to him?
Embyr nods, catching a few tears before they fall. From your email.
I search the past few days. I dont remember going into my email recently. I
didnt do that Embyr, and if Im being honest I dont even have access to that
video anymore. I wouldnt even know where to find it! I promise you, I havent
opened my email since
I think, and I think some more and then it hits me. The Lieutenant results. I
checked them at the station. I search the memory further and try to remember if I
logged out. I checked it. I told Reece. Reece attacked me. I got sent home.
I rise quickly to my feet. That fucking asshole! I roar.
Without thinking, I storm toward the door, throwing it open. Embyr is not far
behind me. Where are you going? Who is an asshole?
I dont wait for the elevator because Im too fucking angry to sit still for a
moment longer. Not until my fist connects with that fuckers face. Ill call you
later, Embyr, but just know I didnt do this. It was not me.
 The door to the stairwell slams against the wall and I take the steps two at a
time. The day is cold but my whole body is heated with fury. I throw off my
sweatshirt as I jump into my truck and head down the street toward the station.
Traffic is a bitch and with each passing second my anger grows. How could
he do this? How could he be so fucking cold-hearted and send that video to her
job? He had an excuse back in high school. A shitty excuse but at least that time
was an accident. It had to take a lot for him to get that video to my email and
send it off to all of Ems coworkers. Hes supposed to be my best friend. Weve
been rocky the past month or so but this puts the nail in the coffin. Were done.
Once I reach the station, I throw the truck in park and rip the keys out of the
ignition. Im late, which sucks but after what I am about to do Im sure that
Captain will send me home anyway. This time a report will definitely be filed.
I find most of the crew in the kitchen but Reece is nowhere to be found.
Wheres Reece? I ask as I walk past them.
Gym. Someone comments, but I dont know who.
Turning the corner, I spot him lying on the bench, the bench press extended
above him. He doesnt see me coming, and I like it that way. I grab onto the bar
and begin to push it down. His eyes grow wide as he tries to counter the weight
of me.
What the fuck, Casen. He struggles to speak. A bead of sweat forming on
his temple. Get the fuck off it. Im going to drop it.
I push further, giving him more of my weight. Not until you fucking admit
what you did!
HELP! he screams, but I dont give a shit. Im not sure anyone could out
strengthen me right now.
Admit it, you fucking prick! I yell. Admit you sent that video.
His arms start to shake. It wont be long before it drops onto his chest. Or
worse, his neck. What video, man?
I shake the bar. The one of Embyr in high school, dont play fucking
stupid.
Its a tug of war. He wont admit what he did, and I sure as fuck am not going
to let go until he does. His eyes begin to tear up. HELP! he screams again, this
time louder and more desperate.
Tell me, Reece. Tell me why.
 His elbows are giving way and his desperate eyes look at my furious ones.
Because you dont deserve her. She is so much better than you and you dont
deserve her.
I let go of the bar just as some of the crew finally make it into the room.
Reece drops the bar to its side, the weights crashing to the floor, and jumps up.
His chest meets mine. What the fuck, Casen! You could have killed me!
I shove him. You think I dont deserve her so you attack her at the place she
works. How fucked up is that, Reece. You are so messed up in the head. Always
have been. You have a warped mind and I dont fucking get it. Youre mad at
me, pissed at me for getting what I want all the time. Go after me. Not her. She
didnt deserve that!
The crew is standing around us, none of them knowing what to do, waiting to
step in should this turn bad.
She didnt, huh? All the fucking over she did to you, Wesley, Patrick, Ian,
and Thad? You dont think she deserved it? So, youre okay that your girlfriend
bent over Patricks desk and let him rail her from behind. Or that Ian got to fuck
that sweet pussy first. You like your friends giving it to your woman? Hmm,
maybe I should get a try.
I dont think. I just react. My right hand rears back, and I slam it so hard into
Reeces face that he stumbles back and falls to the ground. Blood begins to pool
from his nose, and before I can jump on him, I have two of my men holding an
arm each. Another one is tending to Reece.
I point his way. That was fucked up, Reece. Even for you. Dont you come
near Embyr or me again.
Hes still laying on the ground, blood starting to run down his neck. Dont
worry. I wont. You all can go to hell.
What in the ever loving fuck is going on in here? Captain yells, taking in
the scene. You two again?
I point at Reece. That asshole sent out a video of my girlfriend from my
email account. I left it open the other day. Forwarded it to everyone she works
with, all because hes fucking jealous!
Reece spits a mix of blood and saliva on the ground next to him and stands
up. Jealous of what? Your slut of a girlfriend? The one who just goes around
looking to open her legs for everyone in the PITCREW? Id be surprised if she
didnt bang close to all of them already.
 I struggle out of their hold, lowering my shoulders and go full steam toward
him. Hitting him straight in the gut, we fly to the ground, but its only for a brief
moment before Im pulled off him again.
Come on, Casen, our driver, Troy, says, pushing me out of the room. He
isnt worth it.
I can hear Reece moaning in the other room, but I dont give a shit. I
shoulder out of Troys grip and head toward the door.
Parker! Captain yells. I turn and am surprised to find hes already up on
me. He escorts me the rest of the way out of the firehouse. Go home. Now!
I figured that might happen. Pointing back toward the door I ask, You heard
what he did, right, Cap?
He looks up to the sky, like hes praying for something, and then back down
to me. I did, son, but right now I dont know what the hell to do with you two.
A few days ago, I had to send you to the emergency room, and it looks like hes
headed there now. But I cant have you here right now, and I think its time for a
shift change. Maybe one of you needs to move to a new rotation. You two cant
work together any longer.
Hes right. I dont know that I can trust him anymore. Hes supposed to have
my back and now I feel as though Ill be looking over my shoulder.
I understand. Do you want me to wait to see if you can get someone to come
in?
He shakes his head no. Go on home. I got this. Just take the day and come
see me tomorrow morning.
Not having anything to grab from inside, I get in my truck and head back to
Embyrs place. For the first time in the last two days, she answers when I knock.
Even though its been a couple hours she looks just as tired as before. Her eyes
are bloodshot and her hair is in a messy ponytail. Shes wearing sweats. She says
nothing as she lets the door open and walks to the couch, taking a seat. I sit next
to her, reaching for her hand. She flinches, and it breaks my heart.
Embyr, you have to know I didnt do that. Please. I beg. I just saw Reece.
He told me he did it when I found out I made Lieutenant and I left my email
open.
She responds softly. I know.
Lifting her chin up with one finger, I wipe away a tear with another. If you
know then we can work this out. Ill go to your job and explain everything. Ill
tell them...
No. She interrupts. No. I already spoke to them. My job is secure. I go
back fresh on Monday morning.
Im so sorry this happened. Come on. Lets go lie back in bed. I rise to my
feet but she doesnt follow. Shes just shaking her head at me.
No, Casen. She swallows and glances up at me. You have to leave. I cant
do this anymore. If Im going to forgive and forget then I need to just be alone.
I fall to my knees before her. Baby, we can heal together. Dont let Reece
come between us. Please.
I need you to go. She gets louder. I need to be alone. I need to figure out
who I am again. My past just keeps coming back to haunt me. Ill never get
away from it, and if Im with you, then Ill never forget it. Itll just be in my face
all the time.
Widening her legs, I nestle between her and wrap my arms around her
shoulders. We can do this. It can be overcome. I promise. Let me show you.
Give us a chance.
Her sobs get louder. No. Leave. Now! She stands, stepping over me and
walking down the hallway to her room and slamming the door.
Slamming it on us.
Did Reece really do that? Trinity asks from the kitchen.
Eyeing her from my place on the carpet I ask, Have you been there the
whole time?
She mixes a spoon in her cup of coffee and walks over to me. I have been.
Tell me. Is Reece responsible for the video being sent to her work? You didnt do
it to get back at her?
Yes. He admitted it, and if you think that I would do something so cold then
you are dead wrong. Your boyfriend is a fucking psycho. I stand up and storm
toward Embyrs room.
I bang so hard a picture frame falls from the wall to the floor. Its of her
parents. I pick it up and put it gently back in its place.
Go away, Casen, or Im calling the cops! she screams through her tears. I
hear the heartbreak. It matches mine.
 Im not giving up on you, Embyr, I yell in the crack of the door. We didnt
go through hell and back just to give up. I love you, and Im going to fucking
fight for you. Youre worth it!
Slapping my hand one more time on her door before turning to leave.
 NINETEEN

CASEN

Ive fucking had enough. There is only so much a man can take before he
snaps, and I am just a breath away from losing it. My life has been upended the
past few months I am done losing everything. One best friend is dead. Another
one might as well be dead to me. Ive lost my girlfriend, and I could be on the
brink of losing my job. How can so much happen in such a short amount of
time? Im not sure how much more I can take but Im not going to stand by and
watch as my life falls apart thread by thread.
Fuck that.
My condo is quiet when I enter. The past few weeks it has been buzzing with
Embyrs energy and spirit. Her music, her attempts at cooking and her sweet
body underneath mine. Without her here, and thinking she wont be any longer,
makes it feel empty. My life is empty without her.
One of her sweatshirts is draped over a kitchen chair and I lift it up, hoping
like hell I wont have to return it to her. She needs to see reason, see that we love
one another and come back to me. I didnt do all my soul searching just to have
it mean absolutely nothing. We didnt fight for us just to have it all taken
away.
Putting myself in her shoes I understand where she is coming from. I cant
imagine trying to turn my life around just to have something you thought was in
the past thrown back into your face. At your job no less. I know shes hurt and
devastated, and its going to take a long time, if ever, to come to terms with it. I
only wish I could eradicate the video with just a push of the delete button. What
infuriates me to the point of murder is that Reece sent that not to hurt Embyr but
to hurt me. She was collateral damage for his years of pent up frustration. He is a
hateful, devious man, and I guess I never really saw the signs until now. The
constant passive aggressive comments he would make. The looks he would give.
How I never really felt like I could truly trust him despite having to during our
job. Yes, we went through our schooling and training together but through all the
times we spent with one another, I never fully trusted him. Maybe it stemmed
from the bet back in high school or maybe it was my intuition. Either way, the
more I think about it the more I want to finish what I started at the fire station. I
want to wrap my hands around his neck and squeeze so tight until he gets the
magnitude of what he has done. Hes essentially fucked with all our jobs. Embyr
said she is going back on Monday, but what does that mean for her? What will
she be walking into? I want to protect her from all of that ridicule. All of her
coworkers have potentially seen her half naked at sixteen.
The image of them opening up their emails, from her boyfriends account,
with a video like that cuts me to the core. Even worse, I can imagine the betrayal
Embyr felt when she thought I was the one who sent it. It doesnt matter if I
didnt. She left me anyway. I wasnt kidding when I said I wasnt giving up. I
wont. I will have her in my arms again. In my bed again. In my future. I need
her there because I feel like I cant breathe without her. My lungs wont fill to
capacity unless I know shes mine.
Ill make her mine.
I spend the day doing something I never docleaning my condo but leaving
anything Embyr has left here where it was. I dont want to change anything
because I know she will see reason. Im just giving her some time. Ive calmed
down a little bit but I know Im going to have to do something about Reece. Talk
to some friends at the precinct and see if Embyr can press charges seeing as she
was a minor in that tape. I hate that video. The mental image sometimes
consumes me. I wanted to be her first. I wanted her to be mine. It didnt happen
that way, and I may sound like a pussy but I also long to be her last.
A ping from my cell phone alerts me to an incoming text. My heart beat
quickens, hoping that its Embyr asking me to come back. Its not, and the past
few hours of calming myself down is all for nothing as I what I read instantly
boils my blood.
Reece: You fucking asshole! Trinity just called and broke up with me
because you and your girlfriend have a big fucking mouth.
Me: Fuck off.
Reece: I hope you and that slut are happy together.
Im done. The last thin piece of thread holding my sanity together snaps. I
grab my keys and head out the door.
Im not a violent man. Ive never really been a violent man, but right now all
I can see is red the entire way over to Reeces place. I risk the chance of him not
being home, but Im sure if Captain sent him to the hospital than he is probably
there.
I reach his place in record time and buzz his apartment. He moved in here
around the same time Ian and I both got our own places and hes never invited
me over. I hit the button to call his apartment again but still nothing. A tenant
walks out, and I take the opportunity to grab the door before it shuts. I waste no
time climbing the three flights of stairs and find 3B. I knock and after hearing
nothing I put my ear to the door.
Its quiet. He may not be home but Im also not going to sit in the hallway
and wait for him. I grab my keys out of my pocket and spin them until I come
across the one Reece gave to me in case of emergencies. Its not breaking and
entering if you have a key, right? The door creaks loudly as I open it and walk in.
Its bare. Theres nothing on the walls and only very minimal furniture. I
search for a lamp but find none so I flip on the dining room light above the table,
which is old and scuffed up. The hairs on the back of my neck rise. All of a
sudden I feel unsafe, but it doesnt stop me from looking around. Ignoring my
intuition not to, I walk toward the back bedroom to see if maybe hes here or in
the shower. Its doubtful, seeing as Id be able to hear a pin drop. All the curtains
are shut and Im not sure hes dusted in quite a while. The door to the master
bedroom is ajar so I push it open. His room is just as stripped of furniture as the
rest of the house.
A mattress rests on the floor next to a box propped up to hold an alarm clock.
I didnt know Reece wasnt doing so well. He was picking up extra shifts every
chance he could. Reece isnt in there so I walk halfway back down the hallway
to another closed door. Its the bathroom and just like all the other rooms, it
contains the minimum amount needed to survive. A roll of toilet paper, shampoo,
soap, and hand soap. An old yellow towel hangs over the shower curtain.
My hatred of him is now becoming pity. I dont know whats going on. If
Reece needed money or anything Im sure he could ask his parents and they
would help.
Curiosity is now leading me the rest of the way back to the living room, and I
stop at another closed door. This one is harder to open and I realize why. Its
locked but the door is so stripped that all I have to do is push my shoulder into it
to get it unlatched. It flies open, crashing into the wall behind it.
My eyes widen. This room is much different than all the others. Underneath
the window is a desk with three computer screens and one keyboard. Newspaper
articles are littered over almost every single space on the wall to the right. There
is a couch on the other wall with books and binders scattered all over it. I step
closer, using as much caution as I can because lets be honest, something fucked
up is going on here. When I reach the computer and hit a button, a still image of
the video with Ian and Embyr pop up. Hes on top of her, his pants down, and
you can tell they are in the middle of sex. My lunch begins to rise into my throat
but I will myself to keep it down. I turn each screen off manually and face the
wall of articles. Most are about Ian and the night he got shot. Each local paper
ran the story and he has all of them plus the follow ups to them.
What the fuck is this? I mutter to myself.
There arent just clippings from the papers here but also pictures. Mostly
pictures of Embyr. Pictures of her in high school and some recent ones as well.
Those are disturbing but not as much as the ones from what looks to be her at
college. I pull down one of her with a guy walking down a sidewalk and see
WESTERN CAROLINA UNIVERSITY sign in the background.
Holy shit! I yell, anger consumes me.
Why does he have all this? Are these old or ones from Ian that he might have
found or has Reece known all along where Embyr was and what she was doing?
There are more pictures. Some of her changing in her old bedroom in Arlington
Heights.
What are you doing here, Casen? Reece asks from behind me. His voice
sounding devious and when I turn to him, his face matches. A white bandage is
over his nose. Im pretty sure I broke it when I see the black circles under his
eyes. Hes wearing a dark gray t-shirt and blue jeans. I should call the cops on
you.
I rip down the picture of Embyr and show it to him. What the fuck is this?
The right side of his mouth comes up into a half smile. Thats your
girlfriend right before she took that guy home and fucked him senseless. I told
you she was a slut.
My fists crumble the picture, and I will myself not to launch myself at him.
My questions come out in a flurry.
Why do you have this? Were you stalking her? Did you have someone stalk
her?
He laughs, leaning his shoulder against the door. I told you, Casen. You
werent the only one infatuated with her. I knew the whole time. I knew what she
was doing, and while I sat there in college watching you sulk over her, I knew
exactly where she was. When you asked Ian to find her, I knew just where he
would. She was so fucking close. Just right under Patrick Strickland.
Its too much. Imagining Embyr with all those men. Seeing her with Ian on
the tape, the guy in the picture, and now the vision of her and Patrick. Its getting
to me. Shes mine.
So what, you were stalking her? I glance at the wall again, everywhere I
look there is a new picture of her.
He waves his hands around. Stalking is such a strong word, Casen. I prefer
admiring her from afar.
Its stalking, asshole. When she doesnt know it and when she sure as fuck
doesnt want you, its not admiring from afar.
I hear the click before I actually see the gun pointed right at me. Reece pulled
it out so fast that I had no time to respond. All I can do is raise my arms in
surrender.
Reece, man. What the fuck are you doing?
He wipes his mouth with his shoulder. You know Ian said the same fucking
thing. I wasnt STALKING her. That fucking tease wanted me to watch her. She
left her curtains open every single night. She played hard to get, saying no to me
and yes to Ian. But he RUINED it by fucking her. They had to be punished.
My whole body is trembling with fear. So what? You released the tape on
purpose? Did Ian know you wanted her?
He steps closer. The gun aimed straight at my chest. He knew. He held that
over my head for years, Casen. YEARS! Every chance he got he made sure I
knew he popped her cherry. Even after he found out Embyr was Annie. I had
already known, but he still fucking pushed me. He waves the gun. He still
wanted to talk shit after he found out. Told me how sweet her pussy felt. He
thought it was a joke, and it wasnt. He learned that really fast.
My stomach sinks. Ian found out a few days before he sent me the package.
Did you shoot Ian, Reece? Tell me you didnt.
His head drops for a moment but comes back up with resolve. You would
have too, Casen. He was saying the most disgusting things about your girlfriend.
How at his birthday party he was thinking of all three of us banging Embyr at the
same time. How, now that he knew she was Annie, we could live out our high
school fantasies with her. He pushed me, and I pushed back. He wont say that
shit now.
My arms are beginning to tire as I hold them up in surrender. Youre fucking
crazy, I whisper.
He drops his arm to the side. Crazy? Im crazy? No, Im just seeing things
fucking clear now. Casen gets everything. The job, the girl, the nice condo.
Every. Fucking. Thing.
I dont understand, Reece. I watch the gun at his side. We make the same
amount of money. What is going on here? Why do you have nothing in your
house, even after all those extra shifts? If you needed money, I could help you.
No! he screams. No! Thats all I need is a handout from Casen Parker. Im
doing fine on my own. My parents need the money and Im getting it to them. I
just needed to work the shifts to help them through it. He starts to cry, and I
take the vulnerable opportunity to step closer to him and maybe grab the gun.
None of this makes sense to me, Reece. Why tell me to forgive Embyr? You
told me what she did was just as forgivable as what we did. You have Trinity. Do
you still want Embyr?
He hits his forehead a few times. I dont know! I dont fucking know. I
dont want her anymore, but Im sick of you getting everything. Ever since we
were kids, you got it all. The looks, the charm. You were homecoming king and
got a full ride to college. I was always compared to you by my parents. Always!
I was never good enough. My mind is clouded. Nothing is clear to me anymore.
I cant think straight. All of this is tearing me up inside, and Trinityshe makes
me feel like Im worth it. For the first time in my life, I felt good enough for
someone, and now thats gone. Shes gone.
We can work this out, I gently tell him, but Im not sure that can happen.
He killed Ian. He sent that video of Embyr, and from what I can tell, hes lost his
fucking mind completely.
He must not like my suggestion because he raises the gun. No, youre going
to tell everyone. I cant let you do that.
Reece, dont do anything stupid.
He laughs manically. Like, what? This?
I hear the bang.
I smell the gun powder.
I feel the pain.
I see nothing but black.
I thought I knew the depth of deceit. I had no. Fucking. Clue.
 TWENTY

EMBYR

Casen throws my naked body down onto the bed, my stomach hitting the soft
sheets. He reaches his large hands around my waist and lifts me up, impaling me
with his cock. I cry out in agonized pleasure as he fills me so completely. He
pumps his hips into me, his fingernails biting into my skin. Im so close to
coming but I cant seem to reach my orgasm.
Marry me, Embyr. He groans. Its not a question. Its a command. Marry
me.
I try to open my mouth so I can answer him, but it wont budge. My lips seem
to be glued together.
Tell me youll marry me and Ill let you come, Annie.
Annie?
My mind is spinning. My orgasm is out of reach, but I cant answer him. Im
trying, but its not happening.
He flips me over, spreading my legs, and enters me with brutal force once
again. His dark green eyes, with a hint of blue search mine. Marry me before
its too latebefore Im gone.
My hands reach out for him, but he disappears in an instant. I sit up,
searching the darkened room but hes nowhere to be found.
Casen! I am finally able to scream. Casen, come back!
I run to the door, but its jammed shut. Im trapped just as the room starts to
fill with smoke. I hit my fists against the wood but no one is coming. Slinking
down to the floor, I grab my knees and rock back and forth.
Casen! I cry out into the night.
My body starts to violently shake.
Embyr! Trinity yells. Embyr, wake up!
My eyes open and Im startled awake. I scan my surroundings. Im no longer
on the floor in a smoke filled room. Im in my bed, sweating underneath the
covers.
It was a dream, I whisper.
Trinity is sitting beside me. Yeah, a loud one. First I heard moaning, like the
good kind. The kind where I thought you may have had a rebound fuck in here,
but then I heard the screaming. The bad kind where I knew it was a nightmare
and I needed to wake you up.
Scooting back, I lean against the headboard of my bed. Thank you. That was
terrible.
Do you want to talk about it? she asks, sliding up next to me.
It was Casen. He was here, and we were having sex but he was withholding
my orgasm until I agreed to marry him. A laugh bubbles out of my throat at
how insane that sounds.
Trin glides her fingers through my hair. Are you sorry you broke up with
him?
I sigh, and I rest my chin on my knees. Its only been half a day but I
regretted it the moment I said it. I want nothing more than to be with him, but
its not like I didnt think it through. I need to do this on my own, right? Figure
my shit out and then maybe we can talk.
I dont know, Em. There are only so many times you all can break up and
make up before it becomes your go-to response. If you two really love each
other then everything you are going through and everything hes dealing with
should be handled together. If that dream was real, and he asked you to marry
him, would you say yes?
My head falls back against the headboard. I would have said yes in a
heartbeat.
Then stop being so fucking scared. That man has seen you at your lowest.
Hes seen you do your worst to him and still he promised not to give up. Why
dont you do the same? Dont give up. Get through all this together, get married,
and have the best looking fucking babies there are.
I laugh. I love how Trin is always there for me. Im so thankful to have found
her. What about you, Trin. Are you going to forgive Reece and be happy?
A big part of me wants her to say no. I dont know if Ill ever be able to be in
the same room as Reece. With Trin living here, it would be hard to tell her she
cant have her boyfriend over. I want her to be happy, but I really dont think
Reece is who could do that. Im hoping as my best friend she would see what he
did to me and kick his ass to the curb forever.
She picks at some lint on my blanket. No. I cant. He made the decision to
keep that video, send it to your job, and try to get Casen blamed. Not only is that
fucking stupid, but its a felony. Hes over the age of eighteen sending out a
video of a naked child. Even if you are grownup, its still very wrong on so many
levels. Plus, Ive noticed a shift in his personality since I met him, and I dont
like what Ive seen. He seems capable of a lot of shady crap. He has this room in
his house he wont let me go into and hes recently sold a lot of his shit. He
wont talk about it and his anger grows by the minute every day. Its best to get
out now before it becomes something Im not equipped to handle.
I wrap my arms around her. Im sorry. I want you to be happy.
I want to be happy too, Em, but it wont be for a while. You, on the other
hand, have your ever after now. You have to chase it and lock it down.
I will.
Tomorrow! She commands.
I promise. Ill call him tomorrow.
My phone rings on the nightstand. A peek at my clock shows me its just past
three oclock in the morning.
Well, she says, detaching my cell from the charger and handing it to me. I
guess his ears must have been ringing.
The display shows Casen is calling.
Trinity leaves me to my call and I answer on the fourth ring. Casen, I was
going to call you tomorrow.
Embyr, a sobbing female voice responds. Is this Embyr?
Yes, I warily say. Whos this?
Embyr, its Megan, Casens sister. You need to come to the hospital as soon
as you can. Her sobs get louder. Right now.
I scramble out of bed, grabbing a bra and an overnight bag to fill with
whatever I think I may need. Is Casen okay?
No. Hes been shot. Come now. Were in the surgical waiting room.
She hangs up, and I scream for Trinity. Shes back to my room in an instant.
Casen got shot. Hes at the hospital. I need you to drive me.
My hands shake as I throw my charger, sweatshirt, change of clothes, wallet,
and phone into the bag.
Trinity doesnt ask much as we near the hospital. I told her everything I know
and calls back to Casens phone go straight to voicemail. This feels too much
like the night Ian got shot. Late night phone call followed by a rush to the
hospital, except this time its me whos in turmoil. Yes, I knew Ian but my heart
didnt beat along with his. I dont know how I could survive should something
happen to Casen. I love him. I was stupid. He should have been with me tonight.
This wouldnt have happened.
I push out all the blame and what ifs out of my head and jump out when
Trinity stops the car in front of the emergency room entrance. I remember where
the waiting room was down here, but Im uncertain where the surgical one is.
The nurse at the desk directs me and I take the elevator up to the second floor.
When the doors slide open, I search in every direction until I find Mr. and Mrs.
Parker at the coffee vending machine. They see me, and Mrs. Parker races over
to hug me.
Oh, Embyr. Im so glad you are here. She cries, her tears dampening my
shirt.
What happened? I try to ask, but the words are caught up in my throat.
Embyr? My name is called from behind. Its Megan, Casens sister. She
looks exactly as I remember her. Long dark hair, blue eyes, and without a stitch
of makeup on, she still looks stunning. Her eyes show evidence of crying. Im
so glad I was able to call you before Casens phone died.
Megan. I hug her. Whats going on?
Her hand grabs onto mine and she pulls me to a few chairs out of earshot of
other families. Someone heard a gunshot in the building and called 911. When
the police arrived they found Casen in the spare bedroom. He was shot in the
chest and they had to take him into surgery. Reece called us.
I shake my head in disbelief. Someone shot Casen in his apartment? Was he
being robbed?
No. It was at Reeces apartment. She grows quiet for a moment and then
stares at me intently. I think Reece shot Casen. He didnt call 911 and he wasnt
there when paramedics arrived. He called my mom and told her to come here
and then he just disappeared. Wont answer his phone. Didnt meet us here.
Nothing. Im not sure my mom has made the assumption yet, but Im not stupid.
Reece is a loose cannon. Ive kept my distance from him since we were kids.
The doors open up at the end of the hallway and the doctors immediately
zero in on Casens parents. Megan and I stay where we are and watch as Mrs.
Parker starts to cry. My stomach twists with sickness. I cant lose him. I just
cant.
When the doctors leave, she comes over to us. Hes out of surgery and in
recovery. We can see him in a little bit but the doctor said he may not wake up
for a while.
I breathe out a sigh of relief, all the weight Ive had for just moments has
now lifted, and we all hug one another. Trinity finds us as she exits the elevators,
pale as a ghost.
Casens out of surgery, I tell her. Hes going to be fine. Whats wrong?
She nods, bringing her cell phone up for me to see a text message.
Reece: Tell everyone Im sorry for ruining their lives. Please tell me I
didnt kill Casen.
I gasp. Oh my God. He did it. He shot Casen?
I must have said it loud because Casens father comes over and snatches the
phone from Trinitys hands. His tired eyes grow furious. What the fuck is this?
Megan, call the police.
He walks away with the phone, leaving Trinity and me in shock.
***
I sit beside Casens bed, still waiting for him to wake up, mid-morning the
next day and think about everything that has occurred in the past twenty-four
hours. Trinity was able to get a hold of Reece and convinced him to go to the
police. She left around five oclock this morning to pick him up and take him in.
When she called me an hour ago, I stepped outside and listened to her tell me
everything that Reece confessed. It rocked me to my core.
With sadness in her voice, I listened as my best friend told me Reece not only
shot Casen but that he killed Ian. Ian and Reece had gotten into an argument and
Reece, who was carrying his gun for protection, decided to use it on Ian. He
wouldnt go into detail on the argument but for him to shoot his best friend it had
to be something bad. Trinity also said that there were some things about me that
Reece admitted. Those she would rather sit down, face to face, and talk to me
about when she felt the time was right. She said it would have to be soon unless
Casen told me when he woke up. I dont understand why she couldnt tell me
over the phone, but right now I want to focus on Casen and getting him back up
and healthy.
A bouquet of flowers are brought in by one of the many nurses that work
here. I dont remember her name, which makes me feel awful because nurses
work so hard and probably only get a quarter of the credit theyre due.
Thank you, I tell her, and she smiles back at me.
Casens arm lies at his side. It only has the blood pressure cuff on it and
nothing connected to his hand so I grab a hold and lay my head on top of it. Hes
warm, alive, and Im so thankful for that. The doctor said to his mom that just a
centimeter to the right would have killed him. He would have left this world
heartbroken and I would have lived my life the same way. I slammed a door in
his face. I let him go, but I wont make that mistake ever again.
My mom told me who you are.
I lift my head up and find Megan, showered and changed, hair pulled back
into a bun. She did, huh?
Walking to the other side of Casen, she takes a seat. Well, I already knew. I
spoke to Kate. Shes my best friend, but my mom filled me in on the gaps.
I nod not knowing what else to say.
Listen, Embyr. Her face morphs into sorrow. Im not without blame. I
should have stood up for you.
I shake my head no. Im finished blaming anyone for the things that
happened long ago. We were all dumb kids. Some may have known better but
Im done trying to guess who. We all made mistakes. I look at Casen. Mine
was to use Ian to make Casen notice me.
She laughs. Oh, he noticed you. As much as he tried to hide it, everyone
except you knew, and its just so funny She trails off for a moment, looking
up in thought. After high school, Casen wasnt the same but then a few months
ago, all of a sudden he started acting like the lovesick puppy he was back then.
Which is saying a lot because my brother likes to be the alpha male. The tough
guy.
I blush thinking about how alpha Casen really is. Its one of the things I love
about him. He gets what I need sexually but then he can be so sweet, which is
exactly what I crave outside of the bedroom.
 A lovesick puppy? I ask. I would never think to call him that.
She shrugs. But dont tell anyone else what Im about to saykudos to you
for going after them. I mean they were all pieces of shit. Patrick cornered me in
our hallway one time. I never told Casen because he would have killed him but
he deserves the sentence he got.
Last week was Patricks sentencing. He pleaded guilty in exchange for a
lesser sentence. I believe he got five years in prison and to pay back the rest of
the money that hasnt been returned yet.
Not some of my proudest moments. I look at the monitors, willing Casen
to wake up soon. Guilt consumes me. I just cant help but feel like all this is my
fault. It all started with that bet. Then when things were finally calming down
with them, I pop back into the scene and all hell breaks loose once again.
I thought we werent playing the blame game anymore, Embyr? Stop
worrying about the past. Focus on the here and now. Start with fixing whats
going on between you and Casen.
My head snaps up. How did you know?
He texted me earlier. Asked me all the ways to woo a woman. She giggles.
His words. Not mine.
I laugh right along with her. The first time in days and it felt good. And
what did you tell him?
That if I got shot by my best friend she would come running back to me, a
deep, groggy, all alpha male voice answers.
Both Megan and I jump up but she runs out of the room and I just sit there
and stare.
Hi, he finally says.
I swallow, trying to relieve the dryness of my throat. Hi.
He reaches for me and I take his hand in mine, lean in and kiss him. I pull
back slightly to stare into his eyes. I love you, and I was coming back for you,
even before I got this phone call.
His parched lips widen. I love you too, baby.
Were pulled apart by a doctor and two nurses who want to check him over.
Megan and I step outside while she calls her parents. They are going to be so
mad they missed him waking up. Theyll never forgive me for making them go
to eat after talking to the police.
 She walks down the hall, leaving me alone, and I slide down the wall, my
head falling to my knees as I begin to sob. I cry and the tears wash away all of
the emotions that have overcome me. They wash away the shitty high school
years. They wash away the deceitful woman I became. They wash away the
drama of everything that has happened since Casen and I reconnected. They
bring a new sense of purpose. One that allows me to feel like I deserve a happy
ending.
The doctor walks out of the room, leaving the two nurses to adjust Casens
position and make him comfortable. I stand in the doorway, catching the
aftermath of my tears that fell down my cheeks. Megan still hasnt returned and
once the room is cleared I take my place sitting alongside his bed.
Casen looks at me, caressing my hand with his fingers. Embyr.
Yes. I smile sweetly at him, thankful to hear his voice. Even though the
doctor assured us he would wake up soon, I was still worried there was a chance
he wouldnt.
Will you marry me? The question rings loud and clear through the quiet
room.
I lean into him, kiss him on the lips and whisper, No.
 TWENTY-ONE

CASEN

What? Why? I ask in disbelief. Youd think a guy who just got shot would
gain a sympathy yes.
She sits back and gives me her full attention. Because I want you to ask me
when death hasnt knocked on your door. I want you to ask me when there is no
drama going on in our lives, when your best friend didnt try to kill you.
The memory of facing Reece when I was in that room haunts me. His eyes
were maniacal like he just couldnt help doing what he was doing. Reece shot
me. He killed Ian.
I know. She confirms. Hes at the police station. He turned himself in.
Trinity took him this morning.
Good. No more drama. So marry me.
She laughs. No. Not yet.
I squeeze her hand. I dont mean right now. Just say yes and we can play it
all out later. I just want to know that you want to be my wife.
Casen, I do want to be your wife but I feel right now we need to focus on
what happened to all of us. Deal with all that. Your best friend tried to kill you
months after he killed Ian.
I remember the pictures of Embyr all over the walls. He was stalking you,
Embyr. He knew who you were the whole time. He knew where you went to
college and where you moved to when you got back. He had to have recognized
you that first time I introduced you in the fire station.
Wh-wh-what? She stutters. He was stalking me?
I nod. He had pictures of you all over his walls. From high school all the
way to recent ones of you and me on the streets. He had newspaper clippings
about Ians death, Patricks arrest, and all of Thads coming out shit. Even stuff
about Wesley. I think he followed your every move. There is no knowing how
far he went or could go. I grow tired and my eyelids begin to flutter closed.
 We can talk about this later. She kisses my forehead. You need to get
some rest.
I dont argue. Im tired and the medicine the nurses gave me is beginning to
kick in. I dont remember much of what happened after Reece shot me, but they
told me I had surgery and I was lucky to be alive, hence why the spontaneous
proposal. I dont want another day to go by without going for exactly what I
want.
Are you going to leave? I question, my eyes secured shut. Please dont
leave.
I hear a chair being pulled alongside my bed and feel her hair drape over my
arm. Her cheek rests on my forearm. No, Im not leaving you. Ill be here when
you wake up. I promise.
She isnt there when I wake up, and as disheartening as that feels, I
understand why. Two detectives are standing just outside my room. The nurse
comes in and gives me more pain meds before allowing them to speak with me.
I tell them everything I knowevery heartbreaking detail. Most of the
information I give them they are already aware of. From the room in his house to
Ians death, Reece spiraled out of control. One detail they hadnt heard yet was
the video that was sent to Embyrs work. He hadnt confessed that to them. Im
hoping Embyr isnt mad that I told them but I felt like to know the whole story,
they needed to know where it all started and how it all ended. They leave their
card and ask me to call and make an appointment once Im up and moving.
I only had a few scary moments back at Reeces apartment to think about
what he did before everything went dark. Now that I sit here after the detectives
left and soak it all in, Im wondering how I could have been so blind. It was over
a decade of secrets he kept. How many times could he have told me he was
interested in Embyr? Why make that bet? Why squirm over it right alongside
me? What man has an obsession so strong with a woman that he followed her
through her teens and twenties, hiring someone to follow her at college? He
knew where Annie was when I asked him to talk to Ian for me. I know that he
tried to talk me out of it but maybe if at any point in the past ten years, if he
would have talked to me we might have been able to get through it. He killed Ian
over Embyr and he almost killed me over her as well. I know the stress of trying
to help your parents out must have taken a toll on him. Add not getting the
promotion and Trinity leaving him probably made for the perfect storm.
It doesnt excuse what he did.
 Casen? My sweet mothers voice breaks the horrible memories of
yesterday. I almost lost my life at the hands of my best friend and that can almost
break a guy.
I smile wide. Shes a vision. Mom.
Her eyes fill with tears that are threatening to spill over. She looks like she
hasnt gotten any sleep and I dont blame her. I cant imagine what she went
through.
Her arms gently wrap around my body and she squeezes lightly before
pulling back and slapping my arm. Dont do that to me again! she jokingly
yells. Parents are supposed to go first, and thats after you give me beautiful
grandchildren.
Im sorry, Ma. Ill make sure not to get shot again. At least until my wife
pops out a couple of babies and you die first.
Her eyes slit. Thats all I ask, baby boy. Its all I ask.
Son. My dad comes to the other side of the bed. You feeling okay?
I glance at the monitors and point to my IV. They gave me some meds a
little bit ago so I should be feeling fine very soon.
He laughs, but you can tell its strained. It must have torn them up. I love
you, Casen.
I grab both of my parents hands. I love you all too. Im sorry I scared you.
My mom shakes her head. I just dont understand why Reece would do this
to you. You two used to be such good friends. It breaks my heart that he did
something so malicious to you.
One day Ill sit down with you and explain everything but right now isnt
the time, and Im sure if there is a trial, youll get to hear all of the details
anyway.
The last part of that sentence slurs slightly. Okay. My dad releases my
hand. Were going to let you sleep. He points to the chairs in the corner. Well
just be back here watching you.
My mom tries to release my hand but I hold onto it tightly. Mom, I have a
favor.
Leaning in, she kisses my cheek. Anything for you. Just name it.
My eyes flutter open at the sound of a chair scraping across the floor.
 Im sorry, Casen. She stops, hovering just above it like she might change
her mind.
Why are you sorry? The vision before me is stunning. Embyr must have
gone home because she looks freshly showered. Her long, dark hair is
straightened, and shes wearing a dark red long sleeved shirt and my absolute
most favorite pair of jeans. They hug her in all the right places and if I wasnt so
exhausted and just had major surgery I might try to convince her to give me a
quickie before someone comes in and stops us.
Because I woke you up. She finally sits all the way down. And stop
looking at me like that.
I shrug. Like what?
One leg crosses over the other, and she rests her hand over mine. Like you
want to fuck me.
Hearing her say the word fuck isnt helping. I do want to fuck you.
Her head shakes in disbelief. Only you would want to have sex the day after
youve been shot. What if someone walks in or if your IV gets ripped out?
It would be worth it.
Changing the subject, she says, Im sorry I wasnt here when you woke up
earlier. The police came and then your parents wanted to see you so I took a cab
home, showered, grabbed fresh pajamas and clothes, and drove back over.
Its fine. Are you staying over tonight?
I am.
Good. I hesitate before continuing. I told the police about the email that
was sent to everyone you work with.
Thats okay. She pushes a stray hair behind her ear. I told them Id come
in tomorrow to speak to them. I would have told them anyway.
My hand pats the side of my bed that doesnt have any wires and Embyr
wordlessly stands and walks to that side. Lay with me. I attempt to move over
so she has some room.
One foot steps back. I dont think thats a good idea.
You owe me. I shift to get comfortable and lift my blanket.
Her head turns as she side eyes me. For what?
 I shake the blanket. For not being here when I woke up like you promised.
Youre going to use that against me? she asks, her hands going to her hips.
I sigh. If its going to work, then yes.
She concedes, carefully sliding in next to me and laying her head in the
crevice of my neck. If someone comes in here and yells at us for doing this then
Im telling them it was you.
No one will believe you. I murmur, feeling the weight of everything that
has happened lift up off me. Im the patient. You said you wanted to ride my
cock, and I compromised by allowing you to lay with me.
Embyr bursts out a laugh. You would say that too, wouldnt you?
I place my lips on the top of her head. I would. Even if it was my mom that
yelled.
She shakes her head side to side in what I assume is disbelief. I dont doubt
it.
I rub my hand up and down her back. We cant break up again, Embyr. If
were doing this then were going all in this time. Whatever comes our way we
have to agree to work it through together. No matter what.
Her beautiful eyes turn to me, and her soft lips make contact with my dry
ones. I promise. This one Ill keep. No matter what we do this together.
Embyr turns the TV on, and I fall asleep in her arms, only to be woken when
shes attempting to get out of bed.
I understand, she whispers to someone in the room. It wont happen
again.
Beds are for patients, not for visitors. The nurse scolds, and I snicker.
I tried to tell her, but she insisted. I chime in.
The nurse stops what she is doing at the monitors and stares me down. Mr.
Parker, I highly doubt this sweet girl burrowed her way into your bed.
Embyrs laughs sweetly. I told him. She chastises while she attempts to get
up carefully. He didnt listen.
She makes me feel better. I need her here. I beg.
The nurse walks over and pushes on Embyrs arm. Dont get up, but if
anyone asks I didnt see a thing.
 We both smile and thank her as she leaves the room.
Embyr turns to me and says, You do have a way with the ladies.
I just had a great idea. When I get sprung from this place, I think you need
to take care of me while dressed up as a naughty nurse
A devious smile plays on her lips. I may have already bought the costume
online while I was at home.
I groan. Youre perfect. You have to marry me, Embyr.
No.
 TWENTY-TWO

CASEN
SIX WEEKS LATER

Im sitting on my couch, waiting for Embyr to text me on her way back from
work. Its my last day home before I return to the station. I saw the doctor today
and he cleared me for duty. Its been a little bit boring around here the last month
and a half but between Embyr staying over every night, my sister and Kate
visiting at least once a week, and my parents during the weekends I havent
wanted for anything.
I was in the hospital for four days, and since then, no one has let me lift a
finger. Embyr has been cleaning up, doing laundry, but shes let us cook together
every night. Most of those nights ending with her on top of me, underneath me,
or at the mercy of my tongue. We talk a lot about what happened with Reece. Its
hard not to when his face has been on the television the past week. He pleaded
no contest to second-degree murder of Ian and attempted murder of me. They
dropped the distribution of child pornography charges for the video he confessed
to sending out. He wont be getting out of jail for a long time, especially since he
cant make bail.
Trinity seems to be handling it all very well. When I asked Embyr if Trin was
okay with her staying with me, she said she was happy to have a place to herself
for the first time ever.
Im not sure when Embyr plans to move back to her place but Im hoping to
convince her not to. Weve worked through so much recently, and I know if we
can get through all of that we are destined to navigate through the rest of our
lives together.
The door opens up, and my stunning girlfriend walks through. She looks
exhausted but it doesnt take away from her beauty. She has been my rock lately.
My life changer. Weve both been seeing her therapist to get us through stuff not
only individually but as a couple. We grow stronger each day.
I stand up, waiting to see her face when she notices what Ive been up to all
day. Her briefcase drops to the floor in the hallway alongside her purse and she
drops her keys into the bowl next to the door. Midway through taking off her
jacket she notices. Her eyes light up and her tired smile turns into an adoring
one.
Pulling the jacket the rest of the way off, she places it on the hook and her
hand goes to her heart. Casen, she says breathlessly. This is stunning.
I look around at my masterpiece. It took a lot of time. Over thirty candles
light up the living room. Rose petals are scattered all over the floor. I gravitate
toward her and kiss her gently on her smooth as silk lips. You deserve it. Im
not a romantic type of guy, but youve done so much for me the past six weeks, I
wanted to do something special for you.
She looks over my shoulder, taking it all in. You are definitely a romantic
type of guy. Its amazing.
I grip both sides of her face. I love you, Embyr.
Her smile shines brighter than all of the candles. I love you too, Casen.
My lips seek hers out and she gives them willingly. I bite her lip, earning me
a gasp. I use it to my advantage and slip my tongue inside her mouth to collide
with hers. I feel the moment she begins to give into me. Her body starts to relax
and her eyes lay helplessly shut. Shes all mine.
Briefly allowing my lips to detach from hers, I grab the hem of her blue lacy
top and pull it up and off her. The curve of her breasts are dressed in black see
through material. I lower my head, securing one nipple into my mouth. Her head
falls back as her arms grab a hold of the sides of my shirt. My teeth nip her peak
before giving her other breast the same attention. My tongue flattens and I glide
it up her chest and nibble at her neck. My lips brush the underside of her ear and
I whisper, Take off your pants.
She looks behind me toward the open blinds. I know what shes thinking. It
happens every single time. She worries for a brief moment that someone will see
and then the thought of it drenches her tight pussy.
Off, Embyr. I command.
She finally relents, knowing all along she would, and slowly unbuttons them
before they lower to the ground. Her heeled foot kicks it away. I find the little
minx has matching see through panties on and it has me lowering myself to my
knees. My hands hit between both her legs and she spreads them like the good
girl she is.
 My tongue peeks out, my head tilting to make contact with her covered
pussy. The fabric scratches my tongue but shes so fucking wet I can taste her. I
wiggle the tip around and watch as her head falls back. My fingers pinch the side
of her panties before lowering them to the ground and tossing them aside to who
the fuck cares where. Bracing one hand against the wall, I lift one leg up over
my shoulder and latch my mouth onto her clit. Its already throbbing, and it
wont be long before the neighbors see her come apart under my tongue. Her
hands reach down, grasping onto my hair, and she cries out, Im going to come
riding your face.
I love when she talks dirty. It fuels me and makes my cock hard as steel,
begging me to come out and dip inside her. I give her more of what she loves,
sticking my fingers inside her and crooking them to hit the right spot. Once I do,
her grip on my hair tightens just like her pussy around my digits. She screams
my name and Gods, and her juices rush out in a flurry. I lap them up and bite her
clit one last time. Allowing her a moment, I stand to my feet and turn her around
to face the wall. I take my shirt off and unclasp her bra before using it to tie her
hands behind her back.
I lean into her, my cock grazing her ass as she pushes back into it. Not yet,
baby.
I grab her secured wrists and walk her down the hallway toward the master
bedroom. She gasps once inside, finding another insane amount of lit candles.
Turning her by her shoulders, I push her down to her knees. Your turn.
She licks her lips, not muttering a word, and watches with anticipation as I
lower the zipper of my jeans and open just enough for my cock to spring
forward. Wasting no time she opens wide and takes me all the way to the back of
her throat. The vision below is enough cause for me to possibly lose my load in
seconds. She sucks, and licks, and bites. Im in fucking heaven but it becomes
too much so I pull away from her and command her to the bed.
Embyr is a strong-willed woman but she loves to be told what to do when it
comes to sex.
Carefully she lies on her back, with her tied up hands just under her ass. She
spreads her legs wide open and I find shes just as soaked as when she came on
my tongue. Leaving my jeans on, I dip my cock a few inches inside her. Teasing
her. She tries to wiggle down. Casen, please give me more.
I push in a fraction more and she whimpers. Not wanting to taunt her any
longer I give her what she is looking for. I ever so slowly slide my dick all the
way in. Im balls deep inside her and I just hold it for a moment, staring down at
her. Her body glows in the candlelight. Its the most beautiful I have ever seen
her. Shes naked, in my bed, tied up, succumbing to me, as were connected in
the most intimate way.
The feelings that I have at this moment completely overcome me, and I cant
continue this way. I pull out of her.
Casen, whats going on? she asks, confused.
I help her stand up and turn her around, freeing her wrists. I rid myself of the
rest of my clothes before grabbing her face to kiss her passionately. Without
parting our lips, I lay her down on the bed. This time her hands are free to caress
my sides. I want to make love to you, Embyr.
Understanding passes through her eyes and they flutter shut when I slowly
start to enter her. It feels warm, and I let all my feelings pour into her.
Her legs come up, giving me deeper access, and I fill her completely. Each
push and pull I give her one hundred percent. This time means more than any
other time because now, I feel like weve started new. We have a pure and clean
slate. No more drama. No more hurt and sorrow. No more lies. Its just Embyr
and me, here, giving ourselves to one another. I can see in her eyes that she feels
the shift too. We dont look away as each thrust brings us closer to the edge. My
elbows rest beside her head and my fingers entangle with her hair. I lift up
slightly to look at where our bodies are joined. I watch as my cock disappears
inside of her over and over again.
Her back bows up off the bed, and I know shes close. I lick my lips and
begin to kiss every inch of her breasts, paying special attention to her nipples.
They are responsive and with a small nip she cries out. Im almost there,
Casen.
I drag my tongue up between her cleavage. I know, baby. I can feel you
tightening around my cock.
I kiss her other breast, giving that nipple the same love bite. Her legs squeeze
me tighter and I watch her eyes shut. Look at me, Embyr. Please. I beg
because this is different.
Her deep brown irises find mine and we dont look away as our bodies
submit to one another. My fists tighten in her hair, and I can feel myself get
harder as her pussy grabs a hold of it. Shes pulsing around my cock. Come
with me.
 Im coming now. She cries, her nails raking down my back.
We both start to orgasm, and we never let our eyes leave one another.
Embyr. I groan. Im coming too.
Casen, oh God! She cries out. This feels amazing.
It does.
Shes throbbing around me as I come deep inside her, claiming her as mine,
like every other time Ive been inside her.
Once our bodies relax, I fall to the side of her and lay an arm across her
stomach.
Embyr turns her head to the side, finding me staring at her. What a great
way to come home, she says.
My eyes widen. Home?
Trinity found a roommate. She nervously bites her lip. They are going to
rent from me.
You love that place, Em.
I love you more, Casen. She smiles, reaching over and smacking my ass.
Now, get up and make me dinner!
Weve just finished eating dinner by candlelight, and Embyr is doing the
dishes while I wipe down all the counters. Its a routine weve grown
accustomed to and cant wait to continue. Knowing that Im going to have
Embyr living here has me eager and Ive already contacted a moving company
to get all her shit here. In three days, she will officially be my live-in girlfriend.
She thought I was crazy making the call but the sooner she is here permanently
the better. It makes me happy to know she was making arrangements to move in
here without telling me.
Embyr excuses herself to take a shower and I start the task of blowing out
each and every candle. I start in the bedroom and then make my way out into the
living room, deciding to leave a few on the coffee table. I grab Pirates of the
Caribbean for us to watch. Embyr emerges from the bedroom in one of my t-
shirts and what I assume is nothing underneath. She heads straight for me and
straddles my lap. My hands slip underneath her shirt, finding I was correct in my
assumption.
Casen, I have something to tell you, she whispers before kissing the tip of
my nose.
 Nervousness strikes me. What?
Im truly, madly, deeply in love with you.
I smack her ass hard. Jesus, Em. You scared me. I kiss her on her lips and
grip her thighs tightly. You fucking better.
She laughs and gets up to get the popcorn out of the beeping microwave,
separating it into two bowls so that I can have salt on mine. I love that she knows
the littlest things about me.
I sit on the edge of the couch as she lays her head in my lap. I play with her
hair and watch her while she focuses intently on the movie. Her blinks start to
get longer and I know that any moment she will fall asleep. I love to see her like
this. So pure, so careless and worry-free. Im glad that I can give her that. I know
its taken a long time to get there. I know she trusts me with her life as I do hers.
Not wanting to wait a moment longer, I grab the ring out of my pocket that I
asked my mother to bring to me after I got shot. It was my grandmothers and she
wanted it to stay in the family.
I grab Embyrs left hand and slide the platinum one karat solitaire on her ring
finger.
Marry me, Embyr.
She looks up, her eyes glistening with tears, and finally says, Yes.

The End
 All things Amy Marie:
E-mail: AuthorAmyMarie@yahoo.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/authoramymarie
Amazon: http://bit.ly/AmyAmazon
Twitter: @AuthorAmyMarie
Instagram: AuthorAmyMarie
Website: www.authoramymarie.com
Snap Chat: AuthorAmyMarie

More books from Amy Marie:
The Unexpected Series
Unexpected (Book 1): http://amzn.to/1OcE0Ld
Undone (Book 2): http://amzn.to/1JDTn0l
Undeniable (Book 3): http://amzn.to/1OcE7Gr
Unexpected Series Bundle: http://bit.ly/unseries
SEVEN: http://bit.ly/SEVENAmyMarie

Turn the page to read the 1st chapter of Unexpected, book 1 of the Unexpected
Series, by Amy Marie.
 Chapter One
Miss Decker, Im in the Pen 15 club now! I hear over the chatter of my 6th
grade students walking into my classroom. See? All I had to do was let Aaron
write it on my arm, Jeffrey, one of the more nave kids, says sticking out his left
forearm to show me. Shaking my head, I am horrified to see the word penis
prominently displayed there in permanent marker.
Ha! I cant believe you fell for it, Jeff! Aaron yells from the back of the
classroom. Pen 15 looks like penis! Jeff has penis on his arm!
I glare at him and point towards the door signaling him to go to the
principals office. Aaron hangs his head as he makes his way out of the
classroom. He has spent one too many afternoons in detention lately, and it
seems hes just earned himself another. As he exits, giggling erupts, and I turn
my attention back to Jeffrey.
Alright, mister, lets get this cleaned off your arm as best we can, I say
ruffling his sandy hair.
Being a math teacher at Hudson Middle School has its good days and bad. I
dont really know why I chose that subject except I did well in my high school
and college courses and figured it would be easy enough to teach. Little did I
know that I would be shaping the young minds of prepubescent, hormone driven
tweens. When they arent fighting, laughing, or talking, they are sleeping, in
class no less. I wouldnt change it for the world though. I really love my job.
Well, I love it minus the parents, like Jeffreys, who will most likely blame me
for this most recent incident even though I wasnt present when it occurred.
I love my life too. Its taken me a long time to get where I am. At twenty
seven, I have an established career, three months off during the summer, a great
starter home that I share with my completely crazy best friend, Noelle, no credit
card debt or student loans, a nice car, and Robert, the sweetest boyfriend who
anyone could ask for. Im not bragging. I fought hard to get here and Im very
proud to have done it by myself. My parents had three kids to worry about. After
studying like crazy in high school, I earned a fifty percent scholarship to
Northern Illinois University. The other half came from what little my parents
could give me and from working my ass off at a restaurant on campus. I walked
away with my degree and without a cent owed.
 The final bell brings me back to the present. Glancing at the clock I realize
Ive let most of the class pass while I daydreamed and allowed the kids to chit-
chat the whole time. Out in the hallway chaos ensues. Papers are flying
everywhere. Kids and teachers are high fiving each other. Yearbooks are quickly
being signed, and Im almost on my way to celebrate the end of another
successful year of teaching, once I speak with Jefferys parents in the pickup
line.
I am NOT looking forward to this conversation. His mom and dad are the
type of parents who never hold their kid responsible for his behavior. Was it
Jeffreys fault? No, but he is twelve years old. He really should know better than
to let someone write on him with a Sharpie, especially when its Aaron, a known
troublemaker, whose parents are just as bad. I guess I just better get it over with.
~~~
Returning to my classroom thirty minutes later, I feel deflated. Not exactly
the way I wanted to end the school year. Im just going to do a quick clean up
before I head out the door. Im planning to come back tomorrow when its quiet
and pack up the rest of my things. Im locking up my classroom when I hear
someone calling my name.
Erin! Erin, are you leaving so soon? I finish locking my door and turn
around to see Rosie, the other 6th grade math teacher, calling to me from her
classroom directly across the hall. Is your room already packed up?
Its not, Rose, I reply. But Ill be back tomorrow to finish up. How about
you? Excited to retire? Im silently hoping this conversation is short since I had
to endure getting chewed out by Jefferys parents. I have a glass of wine, scratch
that a bottle calling my name.
I dont have much left to do. But I wanted to give you a hug and tell you its
been great being across the hall from you for the past four years. It was such a
blessing to have a young person who brings some energy around this place. She
says wrapping her arms around me just a little too tightly.
Why, thank you. Her vice grip loosens allowing my blood to flow freely
again. But its not like I wont see you, I continue. We should get together for
lunch. Just because we wont be working together doesnt mean we cant still get
together.
That sounds wonderful, Rosie says, with a smile.
Great! Ill call you next week, I say, giving her a quick squeeze on the arm
as I turn to head out the door.
As Im running to my car, I keep my head down. I really dont want anything
else keeping me from getting home. I know I said I love my job but I love Pink
Moscato just as much if not more, and it IS the last day of the school year. I
want to celebrate!

The house is quiet when I get in. Noelle hasnt returned home from work yet.
Dropping my keys in the bowl on the counter, I throw my bags on the table
while making a mental note to pick them up before she gets home. Noelle is very
anal and if she saw my bags on the floor, she would shitand then pick the shit
up, shampoo the carpet, dry it, shampoo it again and curse my name without
getting a speck on her. Neat freak is an understatement.
Noelle and I met freshman year at NIU when we were assigned the same
dorm room. I hated her at first. In the beginning of the year, I would come back
from classes only to find my dresser, desk or even my closet rearranged. She was
always reorganizing my space, and we fought over it constantly. I wanted to
strangle her, but more than that, I wanted her to stay on her side of our room.
After I realized how persistent she was, I gave in, letting her arrange my stuff.
Once she had exercised her anal retentiveness over my belongings, we found out
that we actually had a lot in common. We both grew up in the northwest suburbs
of Chicago.
I still remember the day I realized she had become my best friend. In the
middle of finals week before winter break, one of the frat houses was having a
Finals Finale party. Darren, a guy she was casually dating was a brother there,
and she begged me to go. The minute we got to the party, I regretted
it. Adrienne, Darrens younger sister, thought I was trying to steal her boyfriend
and was in my face. I wanted nothing to do with him, except finish the project
we were assigned together. I tried to reason with her, but she was insecure and
apparently livid about the amount of time I'd spent with him recently. Loudly
calling me a slut in a room full of partygoers was the last straw. Fed up, I raised
my fist, but before I had the chance to punch her in the face, Noelle stepped in
and beat me to it. I tried to tell her I could have done that, but she insisted that
was what friends were for. We were on our way out the door when Darren tried
to get her to stay by grabbing her arm. He wouldn't let go, and he was holding
her upper arm so tight that she couldn't get enough leverage to shove him off of
her. Infuriated by his actions, and with my pent up anger towards Adrienne, I
punched him in the face, knocking him back. He stumbled and actually fell to
the ground. As we were both running back to our room laughing, Noelle used
my line, saying she had it herself, but I repeated her earlier statement. Thats
what friends were for. Cue corny 80s song.
That is one thing best friends do; stand up and stand by you through your ups
and downs, to make sure you come out breathing on the other side.
Smiling at the memories of our early college days, I fill my wine glass to the
brim with pink goodness and start a lavender bubble bath. I deserve it. The
conversation with Jeffs parents was tough. Even though it happened during
lunch, it was, of course, my fault. What a way to end the year.
As I slip into the warm bubbles my cell phone rings. I fumble to answer with
wet hands. I put my mother on speakerphone and lay it down on the ceramic
edge of the tub.
Hey, Mom, whats going on?
When are you going to get married to that handsome hunk of meat you have
and give me some grandchildren?
Sigh. Meet my mother. Mrs. Decker was married at twenty two and had three
kids by the time she was thirty. She thinks my eggs are drying up more and more
every day. My older sister Nicole apparently has no TV because shes had four
kids (Hannah, Marie, Jack, and Nick). My younger brother Trent has little Jason,
who just turned one. Ever since he was born, my mother has been on my ass to
start popping them out. I am not in a rush. My nieces and nephews are amazing
birth control.
Im great! Thank you for asking, I say, rolling my eyes and taking a sip
from my glass.
Oh, Erin. Im just messing around with you...dont be so serious. But how is
that Robert of yours?
She doesnt even bother to ask about my last day or if its a bad time to call. I
love my mother, but she drives me crazy when it comes to my future. She
sometimes forgets how independent I am.
Hes good Ma; working late again tonight. Im going to head over there
after a bath and surprise him with dinner.
Thats great, honey. Show him what a good wife you would make. I can
visualize the smirk that must have spread across her face. I cant win.
We hang up after a quick recap of the day, and I climb out of the bathtub
since there is no way it will relax me now. Plus, the water is cold. My wine is
warm, and Im feeling cranky. I slip into my favorite pair of jean shorts and a
new yellow tank top, before tying my short brown hair up into a ponytail,
throwing on some light makeup and walking towards the door to head to
Roberts apartment. Spotting my bags still on the floor I run and throw them in
my closet so Noelle doesnt defecate on our new carpet.
I stop at the grocery store to grab some ingredients Ill need to make dinner.
It takes about ten minutes to get to Roberts place from the store. Its 6:30 now,
and since he said he works until 7:00 this evening, I have plenty of time to have
the chicken Parmesan ready by the time he arrives home. My flip-flops clang on
the metal steps as I dig through my purse trying to find his key. The door creaks
softly as I open it, and instantly I become breathless.
Candles and flower petals fill the entire living room and the sounds of Toni
Braxton filter through the speakers. This was the first song we danced to at his
fraternitys welcome back mixer. We have been dating since my senior year in
college, five years ago, and lately Ive been dropping hints that Id like to take
the next logical step. Engagement.
My eyes fill with tears as I realize tonight might be the night Robert will ask
me to be his wife. My mother will shit herself.
I place my purse and grocery bag on the kitchen table and look around with
new perspective. The scent of the vanilla candles warms my insides, and I wipe
the tears falling from my cheeks. Robert is nowhere in sight. My nerves are
running rampant when the thought occurs that I may be too early. Stopping in
my tracks I realize he couldnt know I was coming over. He didnt ask me to
come.
I sneak down the hall quietly, on instinct alone. He is obviously expecting
me. My excitement gets the better of me, and my pace picks up until I get to his
half opened bedroom door at the end of the hallway.
Oh God, yes! A female voice calls out. What the hell was that? Harder,
Robby, harder! The voice continues.
Slap.
You like that baby, huh? I bet you love it. I hear a muffled male voice that
sounds eerily similar to my Robert.
Peeking through the doorway, I feel my heart shatter into a million pieces.
The last five years circling the drain like the frigid water of my earlier bath.
Gone! If I could turn back the clock fifteen minutes, I wouldve never come into
this apartment. No, I would have because if not, I would be blind to what is
going on behind my back. My eyes focus on the betrayal. Its like a car accident
you cant look away from even though its bloody and brutal. It doesnt seem
real, but it is.
Robert, my Robert, is screwing his secretary, Anna, on the bed we picked out
together at Sears. Their two bodies become one on the sheets we decided on
because of the thread count. And he is not just screwing her, oh no. He is
pounding it into her from behind with a firm grasp on her blonde ponytail while
aggressively smacking her ass. A far cry from the sweet passionate lovemaking
we had this morning before he left my house for work.
Im coming! Anna screams and rage consumes my body.
THE HELL YOU ARE! I yell with a voice I dont recognize and push the
door all the way open, hitting the wall with the doorknob. GET THE HELL
OFF OF HER NOW, ROBERT!
They both jump at the sound of my shriek and she uses our 400 thread count
sheets to cover up her fake breasts. Robert just stares at me expressionless and
quiet. Im hoping he has the worst blue balls imaginable.
Go home Anna, he finally says. Erin and I have to talk.
Awkwardly Anna gets up, never letting her eyes leave mine.
Yes, go HOME, Anna, to your husband and two kids, you whore! I spit.
Scowling at me, she scrambles to get her pencil skirt and button up blouse on
and runs out of the room. I follow behind her, not yet able to stand looking at
Robert or Robby as she calls him. She slams the door as she exits, leaving me
alone in his living room. Seeing the candles and flowers that not five minutes
ago gave me false hope of a future with him now leave me feeling alone and
uncertain of what lies ahead. I know its over. There is no coming back from this,
no second chances.
Baby. I didnt mean for you to find out like that, Robert says walking into
the room.
The music suddenly ceases, and my heart beats faster as I begin shaking with
anger.
How did you MEAN for me to find out, Robert? Or were you hoping I
wouldnt?
 The blood rushing to my face makes me dizzy, and I have to sit on his couch.
I immediately jump back up when I think of them screwing there too.
Disgusting!
I didnt want to hurt you, Erin. Weve been drifting apart for a long time and
I feel like ImIm getting bored. I know you think marriage is our next step
but Im just not ready for that. I want to experience other things, other people,
and otherpositions. He sits down running his hands through his shaggy black
hair in frustration.
What are you saying? I ask. That Im not adventurous enough in bed? I
lost my virginity to you, Robert! I loved you and I thought you loved meand
now you are telling me that because I haven't role played with you or let you
fuck me from behind that the last five years meant NOTHING to you? My
hands shake as I pick up my purse and throw it over my shoulder.
I pull open his door and whip back around towards him again, saying my last
words to the man who will probably be the reason I wont ever be able to trust
another. Im glad I caught you, you dirty bastard. At least my last image of you
matches what you are. A DOG!
ERIN! He starts towards me as I slam the door and run down the stairs.
As I near the bottom my traitor flip-flop catches on the step and I stumble
across the sidewalk scraping my left leg. As blood arrives at the surface of my
skin, I feel Roberts hand wrap around my arm gently, trying to help me up.
Are you okay? He asks.
No! Im not ok. Dont touch me! I yell trying to yank my arm away. Just
stay away from me. Dont call me, text me, or email me. Just lose my number
and forget you ever knew me, or that you ever loved me. Thats what I plan to
do. I glare into his soft brown eyes that I used to trust, hoping to make my point
clear. I. Hate. You.
The hurt in his eyes tells me I hit my target.
Good.
His hand releases its hold and I pick myself up and stomp off to my car. Once
in my seat, I drop my head onto the steering wheel. The pain throbbing through
my leg is a stark reminder of the pain in my heart. As my tears begin to
overflow, my vision blurs. Why would he do this to me?
Getting myself together before I have a complete breakdown, I search in my
bag for my phone. I text Noelle knowing she will see these three words and drop
everything for me.
Me: I need you.




To the 2016 World Series ChampionsThe Chicago Cubs: Lets not wait
another 108 years for another ring!

To my husband: I dont know what I would do without your one liners, dirty
mind, and constant need to brush my ass every time you walk by. You make life
interesting. I love you!

To my kids: Thank you for giving me time away from you to work on my books.
I love you more than any words could ever say. Thank you for being proud of
me.

Valerie: Here is the obligatory BFF acknowledgment. Im glad were best friends
because no one else would want me. Lol. All jokes aside, none of my books
would ever get written without you. Thank you for always supporting me,
pushing me, harassing me, and listening as I cry over each and every book. I
love you to the moon and backeven if you are ditching me for the West Coast.

Lisa: Thank you for giving me the time I needed to get CASEN finished. I know
we have a lot to do and I am so thankful you allowed me to get this done. Love
you! Now you can finish SEVEN, lol.

JC and Maria: Thank you for sprinting with me. I dont know if this book would
have been done as fast as it was without you all pushing and encouraging. I love
you ladies, even if you have an insane obsession with the Biebs.

Jenn: Youre such an amazing friend and beta. Im glad there were no cock or
hand moments in this book. Im so thankful I met you!

Venus: Thank you for pushing me to write Casen. Your love, support, and
friendship mean the world! Love you!

Kathy: Again, you know just how to make me look like I know what Im doing.
I cant wait to meet you at SaSS! Thank you for dealing with my crazy!

Angel: The inside of my books always look beautiful because of you. Thank you
for my constant crazy questions. I hope to meet you one day!

Sara: My covers look amazing because you are the best! Thank you so much for
letting me nitpick at everything. I appreciate all that you do for me. Im not easy
to put up with, lol!

To my reader group: I know I took a long time to write this book. Thank you for
sticking by me through it all. I love you all!

To my faithful readers: Im so sorry that CASEN took so long. Life gets in the
way. I wasnt expecting SEVEN to end in a cliffhanger and Im glad you get
more of their story. An author is only as good as their readers. I hope you know
that. Im truly thankful for each and every one of you!

To the woman who threatened me in Annapolis to have this done by SaSS: Im
glad you dont have to punch me in the throat, lol!