Annotated exemplars of student work

LITERARY RECOUNT: JEREMY

Synopsis
When tiny Jeremy falls out of his nest and is brought home by the family cat, he is only a few days
old. Luckily, Jeremy is a fighter and as the weeks go by he grows stronger and stronger, until the
time comes when he must say goodbye.
Summary of task
Students had previously learned how to write a recount, learning about the structure and features of
this type of text. In particular, the importance of giving details about what happened, including who
was involved, when and where the event took place, and what may have resulted.
Students were read the story Jeremy and asked to write a recount retelling the series of events
that happened in the story. Before writing, students were read the story twice and engaged in a
think-pair-share discussion about what happened in the beginning, middle and end of the story.

Foundation English achievement standard

The parts of the achievement standard targeted in the assessment task have been highlighted.

Writing

Students create a range of imaginative, informative and persuasive texts including pictorial
representations, short statements, performances, recounts and poetry.
When writing, students use familiar words and phrases and images to convey ideas. Their writing
shows evidence of letter and sound knowledge, beginning writing behaviours and
experimentation with capital letters and full stops. They correctly form all upper- and lower-
case letters.
Foundation
Above Satisfactory ANNOTATIONS

Has used the structure of a

recount. Includes an
introduction, who was
involved and what happened.

Has created a text featuring

several events in the correct
chronological sequence.

Developing use of capital

letters. Used correctly for a
proper noun i.e. Jeremy.

Has used full stops correctly

to show the end of a
statement.

Has attempted unknown and

difficult words using their
knowledge of letters and
sounds. Eg sumtiym
(sometime), finliy (finally),
femluy (family)

Comments:
This writing sample demonstrates a good understanding of the structure and features of a recount. Details
about when, where, who and what have been provided in sequential order. The student has demonstrated
the ability to add meaning to a sentence using an adverb, eg. finally. To progress further, the student could
include more descriptive detail and focus on when to use capital letters (ie using the M.I.N.T.S acronym).
This writing sample demonstrates characteristics of work typically produced by a student performing above
the expected standard.
 ANNOTATIONS
Foundation
Satisfactory/ At level

Has used the structure of a

recount. Includes an
introduction, who was
involved and what happened.

Has created a text featuring

some events from the story.

Beginning to use full stops to

show the end of the
statement eg. The cat chased
the baby bird into the house.

Experimenting with capital

letters

Uses knowledge of spaces

between words, however has
difficulty in writing on the
lines.

Uses written letters to

express the sounds in words,
including blends ee in tree
ou in house.

Comments:
This writing sample demonstrates a sound understanding of the structure and features of a recount. Some
details about who, where and what have been included but not expanded upon. Attempts at using full stops
and capital letters have been made. To progress further, the student could develop their writing by placing
text on the lines and revising their use of capital letters. This sample demonstrates characteristics of work
typically produced by a student performing at the expected standard.
 ANNOTATIONS
Foundation
Below Satisfactory

Understands that texts are

created from left to right
(directionality)

Comments:
This writing sample demonstrates no awareness of the features of a recount. There is some sense of
directionality in the writing, but the letters are unclear and there is no spacing. There is no evidence of
capital letters or punctuations. This work sample demonstrates characteristics of work typically produced by
a student performing below the expected standard.
Reflective Statement:
Applying criteria and standards when making judgments and how judgements were made:
When designing the assessment task, I front-ended the task, constructively aligning the curriculum,
learning outcomes and the assessment. Research posits this approach as ensuring that valid and
reliable assessment tasks are connected with learning outcomes when planning a learning
sequence (Biggs & Tang, 2010). I created a rubric as an assessment instrument which
encompassed targeted areas of the English curriculum that the students would be required to meet.
These descriptions outlined the expected qualities of student work below level, at level and above
level and was the basis for judging how well the students can demonstrate what they know,
understand and can do. During this process I collaborated with my mentor teacher to ensure that
the developed assessment task would provide reliable evidence of student learning and that it was
sequenced as a part of their overall learning continuum.

Identify student progress

It is important to note when the assessment was undertaken (this was in Term 2 of the year) as
learning needs to be measured over time to ensure that students are making progress throughout
the year (Insight.vic.edu.au, 2014). I used the Victorian curriculums content descriptors to design
the rubric and annotated the work samples accordingly. Whilst the three annotated assessment
responses demonstrated different levels of achievement it was clear that across the year level,
students were unclear when to use capital letters.

The below standard sample of work demonstrated that the student was unable to meet the criteria in
the rubric and when comparing these results since the start of term two it was evident that there had
been little progress. This resulted in a discussion with my mentor teacher about measures to be
undertaken to personalise the learning for this student and the potential for an ILP to be created to
attempt to increase his progress with basic writing skills (i.e. letter formation, pencil grip, spacing
etc.). On the opposite end of the spectrum, the above achievement level students work
demonstrated a significant increase in student learning over a short period of time. This identified
areas where this students learning could be accelerated and measures taken to ensure that their
needs were being met.

Providing feedback on student learning

The use of multiple types of assessment and analysis of assessments allows the teacher to give
effective feedback to move learning forward (Klenowski & Wyatt-Smith, 2014). Feedback has been
identified as a significant factor in driving student learning, in particular timely feedback as students
progress through their learning has been demonstrated to significantly improve student learning
outcomes (Hattie & Timperley, 2007). As the students were in Foundation, I gave verbal feedback.
This was carried out in two different ways - as a whole to the class, explaining the reason why we
were going to focus on when to use capital letters was because there was confusion shown in the
recent piece of writing of when they should be used. I also gave individual feedback to the students,
one on one throughout the next weeks writing lessons.

Evaluate teaching and learning to improve practice and next steps:

The work samples influenced my teaching practice in the following week with a focus on when to
use capital letters. I designed a mini-unit of work using the MINTS acronym to reinforce the rules of
the five times when students need to use capitalisation in their writing. MINTS stands for Months, I,
Names, Titles and the Start of sentences. Most students demonstrated significant improvement in
their use of capital letters after such a targeted and focused sequence of lessons and they continued
to do so throughout the rest of my time on placement. I was also able to identify the areas where
the above level and at expected level students could improve upon as outlined in the comments
section of their annotated work samples.

The assessment data for the student who was below level provided clear evidence that little
progress had been made since the last writing sample. Next steps included ensuring that the
student has additional support when attempting writing (THRASS charts, writing prompts etc.),
discussing the possibility of developing an ILP with discussions with parents. Using intervention
processes that the school has to meet the students needs and assist in targeting letter formation
and sounds (interventions such as LLI).

References

Biggs, J., & Tang, C. (2010). Applying constructive alignment to outcomes-based teaching and
learning. In Training material for quality teaching for learning in higher education workshop
for master trainers, Ministry of Higher Education, Kuala Lumpur (pp. 23-25).

Hattie, J., & Timperley, H. (2007). The power of feedback. Review of educational research, 77(1),
81-112.

Insight.vic.edu.au. (2014). Measuring learning. [online] Available at:

http://www.insight.vic.edu.au/analysing-and-using-data/measuring-learning-over-time
[Accessed 22 Sep. 2017].

Klenowski and Wyatt Smith (2014): Ch. 4: Alignment and front-ending assessment, p. 50-71
Klenowski, V., & Wyatt-Smith, C. (2014). Assessment for Education: Standards, Judgement
and Moderation. London, Los Angeles, New Delhi, Singapore: Sage