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Psychologists arent exactly sure how to define intelligence. Even after a century of debate
about what it is, and how to measure it, we still have a wide range of theories and ways to test
this elusive human quality. More importantly, psychologists still dont have solid evidence to
show that intelligence matters in improving the quality of our day-to-day lives. Forrest Gump
perhaps provides the best fictional example, at least, of someone whose test scores placed him
well below average in intelligence, but whose enjoyment of life- and success- were
unquestionably high.
We dont need to turn to fiction, however, to justify the idea that IQ, as its traditionally
defined, isnt necessarily related to the ways that people measure success and happiness in real
life. Even those who claim that superior intellectual performance is vital to life success, such as
British psychologist Graham Jones (2012), dont limit themselves to IQ scores. According to
Jones, who interviewed top athletes, CEOs, military leaders, and physicians, superior
intellectual performance involves knowing how to use the skills you have, not just having those
skills. Its no use to have a brilliant intellect if you cant work within the constraints of your
environment or be motivated to use your brilliance to the max.
Successful intelligence requires that we know how to put our intellectual best foot forward.
Sometimes this means having just plain common sense, or street smarts. Successful
intelligence also involves having emotional intelligence, also called "EI," which is being to read
peoples feelings- and your own.
With high EI, you can succeed in many areas of your life. Your close relationships can benefit
from knowing how to read peoples feelings, regulate your own emotions (especially anger),
and understand what you're feeling, and why.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the
emotions of others. It is generally said to include three skills: emotional awareness; the ability
to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability
to manage emotions, which includes regulating your own emotions and cheering up or calming
down other people.
Having greater emotional intelligence can help you in almost any interpersonal situation where
its important to read others and plan your actions accordingly. When it comes to intimate
relationships you similarly can benefit from the qualities of the transformative leader. The
people who love you might also be the most forgiving of your mistakes, but they will also be the
most appreciative of the ways you can inspire them to feel hopeful and successful themselves.
Understand and express your own emotions. People with this ability know how theyre
feeling before other people do.
1. I have a good sense of why I have certain feelings most of the time.
Perceive and understand the emotions of others around you. This ability means that you are
sensitive to how others are feeling.
Regulate your own emotion. Regulating your emotions means that you are able to keep them
under control, especially when youre feeling distressed.
9. I always set goals for myself and then try my best to achieve them.