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Parenting Advice 5 Essential Parenting Skills
The five parenting skills in this article by yogi, mystic and visionary,
Sadhguru, can make a big difference in raising children, whether it is kids or
teenagers. This essential parenting advice can go a long way in creating a
healthy relationship between parents and children. Lets take a look at each
of the parenting skills one by one.
Sadhguru: Parenthood is a very funny thing. You are trying to do something
that nobody has ever known how to do well. Even if you have twelve children,
you are still learning. You may raise the first eleven properly, but the twelfth
one can give you the works.
#1 Create the Right Atmosphere
Creating the necessary ambience is a large part of parenthood. You must
create the right kind of atmosphere a certain sense of joy, love, care and
discipline both within yourself and in your home. The only thing that you can
do to your child is to give him love and support. Create a loving atmosphere
for him where intelligence will naturally flower. A child looks at life pristinely.
So you sit with him and look at life fresh, like he does. Your child need not do
what you did in life. Your child should do something that you did not even
have the courage to think about. Only then will this world progress and
something happen.
A basic responsibility that humanity has to fulfill is to ensure that the next
generation of human beings is at least one step ahead of you and me. It is
extremely important that the next generation should live a little more joyfully,
with less fear, less prejudice, less entanglement, less hatred, less misery. We
must aim for this. Your contribution to the next generation should be that you
dont leave a brat in the world, you should leave a human being who is at
least a little better than you.
#2 Know What Your Child Needs
Some parents in their aspiration or ambition to make their children super-
strong, have unnecessarily put their children through too much hardship.
They want their children to become what they themselves could not become.
In trying to fulfill their ambitions through their children, some parents have
been extremely cruel to children. Other parents, believing that they are very
loving to their children have over-pampered them and made them powerless
and useless in the world.
Once, there was a yogi who belonged to a certain tradition called Kashmir
Shaivism. This is one of the seven forms of yoga. It is a very powerful form,
but it has mostly remained in the Kashmir area, so it acquired that name. One
day, this yogi saw a cocoon which was slightly cracked, and the butterfly
inside was really struggling to come out the cocoon shell was too hard.
Usually, the butterfly struggles constantly for almost forty-eight hours to come
out of the cocoon. If it does not come out, it will die. The yogi saw this and out
of his compassion he used his nail and opened the cocoon so that the
butterfly could come free. But when it came out, it could not fly. It is that
struggle to break out of the cocoon which empowers the butterfly to use its
wings and fly. What is the use of a butterfly that cannot fly? A lot of people, in
what they think is love for their children, have made their children like this.
The children dont fly in their life.
There is no standard rule for all children. Each child is different. It is a certain
discretion. No perfect line can be drawn as to how much to do and not do.
Different children may need different levels of attention, love and toughness.
If you were to come and ask me while I am standing in the coconut garden,
How much should I water each plant? I would say A minimum of fifty liters.
But if you go home and pour 50 liters for your rose plant, it will die. So you
Sfaturi pentru prini- 5 caliti eseniale
Cele cinci abiliti parentale prezentate n acest articol de yoghinul, misticul i
vizionarul Sadhguru, pot face o mare diferen n ceea ce privete creterea
copiilor, fie c este vorba despre copii mai mici sau adolesceni. Aceste
sfaturi eseniale pentru creterea copiilor poate pot duce la crearea unei
relaii sntoase ntre prini i copii. Hai s aruncm o privire la fiecare dintre
aceste abiliti parentale.
Sadhguru: A fi printe este un lucru foarte amuzant. ncerci sa faci un lucru
pe care nimeni nu a tiut vreodat cum s-l fac bine. Chiar dac avei
doisprezece copii, nc nvai. S-ar putea s-i cretei pe primii unsprezece
n mod corespunztor, dar cel de-al dousprezecelea doisprezecelea v
poate da bti de cap.
#1 Creai atmosfera potrivit
Crearea ambientului necesar este o mare parte a meseriei de printe.
Trebuie s creezi o atmosfer potrivit un anumit sentiment de bucurie,
iubire, grij i disciplin, att n interiorul tu ct i n casa ta. Singurul lucru
pe care l poi face pentru copilul tu este s-i dai dragoste i sprijin. Creeaz
o atmosfer iubitoare pentru el, n care inteligena lui va nflori n mod natural.
Un copil se uit la via ntr-un fel pur. Stai cu el i uit-te la via cu
prospeime, aa cum face el. Copilul tu nu trebuie s fac ceea ce ai fcut tu
n via. Copilul tu ar trebui sa fac ceva ce tu nici mcar nu ai avea curajul
s gndeti. Numai atunci lumea asta va progresa i ceva semnificativ se va
ntmpla.
O responsabilitate fundamental pe care omenirea trebuie s o aib este
aceea de a se asigura c urmtoarea generaie de fiine umane este cel puin
cu un pas naintea ta i a mea. Este extrem de important ca urmtoarea
generaie s triasc cu puin mai mult bucurie, cu mai puin team, mai
puin prejudecat, mai puin ataament, mai puin ur, mai puin mizerie.
Trebuie s nzuim la asta. Contribuia ta la urmtoarea generaie ar trebui s
fie s nu lai un needucat n lume, ar trebui s lai o fiin uman, care este
cel puin un pic mai bun ca tine.
#2 S tii ce nevoi are copilul tu
Unii prini, n dorina sau ambiia lor de a-i face copiii super-puternici, i-au
pus n mod inutil s treac prin prea multe greuti. Ei vor s-i fac pe copii
s devin ceea ce ei nii nu au putut deveni. n ncercarea de a-i ndeplini
ambiiile prin copiii lor, unii prini au fost extrem de cruzi. Ali prini,
considernd c sunt foarte iubitori, i-au rsfat prea mult i i-au fcut
neputincioi i inutili n lume.
Odat, era un yoghin care aparinea unei anumite tradiii, numit ivaism
Kashmir. Aceasta este una dintre cele apte forme de yoga. Este o form
foarte puternic, dar a rmas n mare parte n zona Kashmir, astfel nct a
dobndit acest nume. ntr-o zi, acest yoghin a vzut un cocon care era uor
crpat, iar fluturele din interior se strduia s ias coaja de cocon era prea
tare. De obicei, fluturele se lupt constant, timp de aproape 48 de ore, s ias
afar din cocon. Dac nu iese, va muri. Yoginul a vzut acest lucru i, din
compasiune, i-a folosit unghia i a deschis coconul, astfel nct fluturele s
ias liber. Dar, cnd acesta a ieit, nu a putut zbura. Acea lupt de a iei din
cocon i d fluturelui puterea s-i foloseasc aripile i s zboare. La ce folos
s fii future dac nu poi zbura? O mulime de oameni, creznd c-i iubesc
copiii, le-au fcut acelai lucru. Copiii nu vor zbura niciodat n viaa lor.
Nu exist nici o regul standard pentru toi copiii. Fiecare este diferit. Exist o
anumit marj de apreciere. Nu se poate trage o linie perfect ntre ct de
mult poi face i ct nu. Copii diferii pot avea nevoie de diferite niveluri de
atenie, iubire i fermitate. Dac ar fi s vii i s m ntrebi, n timp ce eu stau
n grdina mea de cocotieri, ct de mult ar trebui ud fiecare plant, a spune:
Cel puin 50 de litri. Dar, dac te duci acas i torni 50 de litri pentru
must see what kind of plant you have in your house.
#3 Learn From Your Child
Most adults assume that as soon as a child is born, it is time to become
teachers. When a child enters your house, it is not the time to become a
teacher, it is time to learn, because if you look at yourself and your child, your
child is more joyous, isnt it? So it is time you learn life from them, not the
other way around. The only thing that you can teach your child which you
have to, to some extent is how to survive.
But when it comes to life itself, a child knows more about life experientially, by
himself. He is life; he knows it. Even with you, if you take away the influences
you have imposed upon your mind, your life energies know how to be. It is
only your mind which doesnt know how to be. An adult is capable of all kinds
of sufferings imagined sufferings. A child has still not gone to that. So it is
time to learn, not teach.
#4 Just Let Him Be
If parents are truly concerned about their children, they must raise their
children in such a way that the child will never have any need for the parent.
The process of loving should always be a liberating process, not an
entangling process. So when the child is born, allow the child to look around,
spend time with nature and spend time with himself. Create an atmosphere of
love and support and dont try to impose your morals, ideas, religion or
whatever in any way. Just allow him to grow, allow his intelligence to grow
and help him look at life on his own terms, as a human being not identified
with the family, or your wealth or whatever else. Just helping him to look at
life as a human being is very essential for his wellbeing and the wellbeing of
the world. Always, the parent encouraging the child to learn to think for
himself, to use his own intelligence to see what is best for him is the best
insurance you have so that the child grows up well.
#5 Be a Joyful, Peaceful Being
If you want to bring up your child well, the first thing is, you should be happy.
But you, by yourself do not know how to be happy. Every day in your house,
when tension, anger, fear, anxiety and jealousy are the only things that are
being demonstrated to your child, what is going to happen to him? He will
obviously learn only these, isnt it? If you really have the intention of bringing
up your child well, you should change yourself to be a loving, joyous and
peaceful being. If you are incapable of transforming yourself, where is the
question of you bringing up your child?
If we really want to bring up our children well, first of all we must see if we can
do something with ourselves. Everyone who wishes to be a parent must do
one simple experiment. Let them sit down and see what is it that is not okay
with their lives, and what would be good for their lives not about the world
outside, but about themselves.
Something about yourself your own behavior, speech, modes of action, and
habits if you can alter that in three months, then you would handle your
child also with wisdom.
trandafirul tau, el va muri. Deci, trebuie s vezi ce fel de plant ai n cas.
#3 nva de la copilul tu
Majoritatea adulilor presupun c, de ndat ce se nate un copil, este timpul
ca ei s devin profesori. Atunci cand un copil intr n casa ta, nu este
momentul s devii profesor, este timpul s nvei, pentru c dac te uii la tine
i la copilul tu, el este mult mai vesel, nu-i aa? Aa c este timpul s nvei
viaa de la el, nu invers. Singurul lucru pe care l poi nva lucru pe care
trebuie s-l faci, ntr-o anumit msur este cum s supravieuiasc.
Dar cnd vine vorba de viaa n sine, un copil tie el singur mai multe despre
via ca experien. El este viaa; el tie. Chiar i n ce te privete, dac dai
la o parte influenele pe care le-ai impus minii, energiile tale de via tiu cum
s fie. Doar mintea ta este cea care nu tie cum s fie. Un adult este capabil
de tot felul de suferine suferine imaginate. Un copil nc nu a ajuns la asta.
Aa c este timpul s nvei, nu s predai.
#4 Las-l pur i simplu s fie
n cazul n care prinii sunt cu adevrat preocupai de copiii lor, ei trebuie s-
i creasc n aa fel nct copilul s nu aib niciodat nevoie de printe.
Procesul de iubire ar trebui s fie ntotdeauna un proces eliberator, nu un
proces care te nlnuie. Aa c, atunci cnd copilul se nate, permite-i s se
uite n jur, s petreac timp n natur i cu el nsui. Creaz o atmosfer de
iubire i sprijin i nu ncerca s-i impui n niciun fel morala ta, ideile, religia
sau orice altceva. Las-l s creasc, permite-i inteligenei lui s creasc i
ajut-l s se uite la via n termeni proprii, ca fiin uman fr s se
identifice cu familia, averea ta sau orice altceva. Doar ajutndu-l s se uite la
via ca o fiin uman este esenial pentru starea lui de bine i starea de
bine a lumii. ntotdeauna, s ncurajezi copilul s nvee s gndeasc pentru
el nsui, s-i foloseasc propria inteligen pentru a vedea ce este cel mai
bine pentru el, este cea mai bun asigurare pe care o poi avea c el va
crete bine.
#5 Fii o fiin vesel, plin de pace
Dac vrei s-i creti copilul bine, primul lucru pe care trebuie s-l tii e c ar
trebui s fii fericit. Dar tu, de unul singur, nu tii cum s fii fericit. n fiecare zi,
n casa ta, atunci cnd tensiunea, furia, frica, anxietatea i gelozia sunt
singurele lucruri demonstrate copilului tau, ce se va ntmpla cu el? Va
nva, evident, numai aceste lucruri, nu-i aa? Dac ai ntr-adevr intenia de
a-i crete copilul bine, ar trebui s te schimbi ntr-o fiin iubitoare, vesel i
panic. Dac nu eti capabil s te transformi pe tine, cum se poate pune
problema s-i creti bine copilul?
Dac vrem cu adevrat s ne cretem copiii bine, n primul rnd, trebuie s
vedem dac putem face ceva cu noi nine. Oricine dorete s fie printe
trebuie s fac un experiment simplu. S stea n linite i s vad ce nu este
n regul cu viaa lor i ce ar fi bine pentru viaa lor nu despre lumea
exterioar e vorba, ci despre ei nii.
Ceva despre tine nsui- propriul comportament, discurs, moduri de aciune i
obiceiuri dac poi modifica asta n trei luni, atunci vei putea s te ocupi, de
asemenea, de copilul tau, cu nelepciune.