Williamson 1

Ginger Williamson

Prof. McGriff

Enc 1101

November 5, 2017

AYSOS: Are You Stupid or Something?

The debate rages on, are digital communications helping or hindering us? A lot has

changed with communication in the last twenty years which poses many questions about whether

digital communication is beneficial or harmful to us as society. Digital communication should be

embraced because it is helping us reach people all over the world while furthering our

connections to others, information is now made available to us instantaneously which is

increasing our knowledge, and the crisis over new technology harming our intelligence is merely

history repeating itself.

The internet (especially social media) helps us come in contact with people all over the

world, faster than ever before. Our social spheres are no longer who we grew up with, who we

went to college with, and who are co-workers are or have been. In the book They Say/I Say,

Graff and Birkenstein maintain that some praise the web for its ability to bring people from

distant places together who otherwise would remain strangers (169). In addition, we can obtain

multiple perspectives from people on the internet (Graff and Birkenstein 169; ch.13).
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Information is now made available to us with a click of a button, and just as rapidly, it is

increasing our intelligence. Gone are the days of burrowing through dusty library shelves to

get information on whatever topic we may be curious about (Graff and Birkenstein 168;ch.13).

Now we can access information at any time without having to make any special trips to the

library or wait on a book thats been checked out. The sources are practically endless, too. And

how is this effecting us? According to a professor of psychology at Harvard University, Far

from making us stupid, these technologies are the only things that will keep us smart (Pinker

1031).

The alarm over new technology isnt really that new at all. According to Pinker, New

forms of media have always caused moral panics: the printing press, newspapers, paperbacks and

television were all once denounced as threats to their consumers brain power and moral fiber

(1029). Many critics suggest that the way people use homonyms or abbreviations now in chat

rooms or text messaging is a direct assault on the English language. History shows us that people

have often used abbreviation or code when convenient or necessary. Linguist, David Crystal,

points out that rebuses have been used for hundreds of years. People have been initializing

common phrases for ages. IOU is known from 1618 (Crystal 902). And as far as abbreviation,

he states it has been used since the beginning of writing (Crystal 902).

The internet is bringing people together as you read this, whether through chat rooms,

video conference, blogs, dating sights, groups, and all forms of social media. If this is embraced,

cultures all over the world can gain more unity. If the knowledge that is massively available is

tapped into, intelligence can be increased. Instead of mourning over the language used in this

new technology, people can discern what is simply the latest lingo and merely a sign of the

times. Or at least, thats my 0.02.

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Pinker, Steven. Mind over Mass Media. 2010. Everyones An Author. 2nd ed., W.W. Norton,
2017, pp. y1029-1031.

Crystal, David. 2b or Not 2b?. 2008. Everyones An Author. 2nd ed., W.W. Norton, 2017,
pp.899-907.

Graff, Gerald, and Cathy Birkenstein. They Say/I Say. 3rd ed., W.W. Norton, 2014, pp. 167-172.

WC:575

Smarthinking Tutor Response Form

Your tutor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your tutor has also
embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] within your essay. Thank you for choosing
Smarthinking to help you improve your writing!

Hello, Ginger! My name is Keva S., and I look forward to working with you on this Essay Center
Review to improve your writing today. Let's get started!

*Writing Strength: In paragraph four, you do a great job of introducing a source to readers. For
example,
Linguist, David Crystal, points out
By providing linguist for readers, they will know why Crystal is a subject matter expert of the
abbreviations/codes within language.

*Ginger 9996412 has requested that you respond to the Introduction/Conclusion: You ask
several questions in your introduction like this one
Is the newest technology to blame for the disconnect of teenagers or the use of human slang
in general?

Readers may wonder if you are going to talk about both teenage disconnect and human slang.
However, as they read further into the paper, they realize you dont really discuss either one.

Ginger, to revise, you will want to create questions that mirror (or foreshadow) what is going to be
discussed within the paper. This helps readers ponder the subject before you delve into your
argument.

What might be a better question to pose to readers?

Main Idea/Thesis Your current thesis does not seem to say whether you are agreeing or disagreeing
with the three articles youve chosen.
Three things are certain: digital communication is helping us reach people all over the world
while furthering our connections to others, information is now made available to us
instantaneously which is increasing our knowledge, and the crisis over new technology
harming our intelligence is merely history repeating itself.
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Right now, you are stating facts for your readers. Without the agreement/disagreement, the thesis
lacks an argument as most readers are not going to argue (except, perhaps, for history repeating
itself) with your facts.

To revise add a modal verb such as "should" or "ought" to your thesis and make a judgment of fact or
of value. Here are some examples of assertions:
When children kill other children, as in recent slayings in American public schools, they should
be tried as adults.
When parents kill their children they should be given the death penalty.

Notice that each of these assertions takes a clearly defined position. The writer's intention can't be
mistaken and readers know that a strong argument must follow. To help with your revision, consider
these thesis structures.
Social media and text should _____ because _____.
Face-to-face communication classes should ____ because ____.

Ginger, which one might work in your paper?

For more on an argumentative paper and the thesis, please visit,

http://services.smarthinking.com/static/document_library/docs/writeman/1_02_08.cfm

*Ginger 9996412 has requested that you respond to the Use of Resources: When using
sources, you need to provide a citation after each idea, quotation, paraphrase, or summary.
In the following example, Ginger, you do not provide a full citation after each quotation.
In the book They Say/I Say, Graff and Birkenstein maintain that some praise the web for its
ability to bring people from distant places together who otherwise would remain strangers.

After the first quotation, you need to include an in-text citation that provides the page number. For
example,
In the book Windy, Smith states, (123).

If you mention the author(s) in the text of the sentence, you only need to provide the page number in
the in-text citation. However, if you do not mention the author(s) in the sentence, you will need to
provide the author and page number(s) in the in-text citation at the end of the sentence.

Where else in your paper needs a citation revision?

For more on MLA, please visit

https://services.smarthinking.com/static/document_library/docs/writeman/2_03_09_01.cfm

Summary of Next Steps:

Revise rhetorical questions
Revise thesis
Revise in-text citations

Thank you for submitting your essay for a review. Ginger, I enjoyed helping you with this step in the
revision process. Have a good day! ~Keva S.
You can find more information about writing, grammar, and usage in the Smarthinking Writer's
Handbook.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Please look for comments [in bold and in brackets] in your essay below.
Thank you for submitting your work to Smarthinking! We hope to see you again soon.
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