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IELTS Practice Writing Task 1 Writing Task 2 IELTS Graphs English Questions IELTS Preparation

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IELTS Writing Sample
Increasing Crime And What Governments Can
Do
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IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2 Go To Sample
In many cities crime is increasing. Why do you think this happening? What can
governments do to help reduce crime levels? Give reasons for your answer and
include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at
least 250 words.
How many words? How long?

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In the contemporary world, the reported cases of crime all over the world are
alarmingly increasing. It is believed that the main reasons behind this are the rise
in population and the increase in the inflation rate. This can be harnessed with the
involvement of the Government which is discussed further in the context of this
More essay.
IELTS
In order to justify my point of view, I would like to state that the population of a
Writing
country will be the first and foremost reason behind this increase in crime. Take
Information
India for instance, it is a developing country and in the prevailing scenario its
population is sky rocketing, which creates a significant number of problems. With
respects to that, unemployment is the major one; consequently, educated and
sophisticated people survive without jobs and result in indulge in the crime to bear
their expenses. Thus it is clear from this example that population is the major
cause which ultimately forces people to commit crimes. To combat this grave
problem, governments can arrange educational classes and programs to increase
public awareness about the exacerbated effects of the increase in population.

Furthermore, the inflation rate is another reason for the increase in the number of
crime cases in certain countries. To illustrate, In India nowadays, the inflation rate
is booming continuously; which causes enormous problems and creates an
inequality between rich and poor people, as rich become richer and poor become
poorer. Hence, it has been seen from this example that the increase in inflation
also leads to the increase of crime to some extent. This grim and gruesome
 problem can be tackled only by Governments, so government should adopt some
leniency against the poor people and give them rebates so that they can survive
and bear their expenses smoothly.

Eventually, after analyzing all the views, I would like to conclude that crime in any
way is a major problem for any country. It needs a combined effort by
Governments, masses and classes of any country to join the hands together to
nip this evil into the bud. Otherwise it is expected that it could be worsen in near
future.

This writing is found under the following category(ies):

IELTS Opinion Essays

Critique
This critique is meant for the writing from KAILASH. This writing task has been
reviewed and partially corrected. Please revert to THE ORIGINAL IELTS WRITING
BEFORE CORRECTION to understand this critique!

+TASK ACHIEVEMENT
You were fully able to achieve the task by showing the reason why crime is
increasing and what governments can do to help reduce it with relevant examples.
+LEXICAL RESOURCE
Vocabulary is excellent.

+COHERENCE AND COHESION

Paragraphs are well organised.

+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY

You have very good writing skills but you lack of strong grammar knowledge. At first,
you could have score 7.5 but after taking into consideration the errors you made
especially subject verb agreement and plural nouns, your score can be pulled down
to 6.
Compare to the original writing.

PERSONAL ADVICE:
+ "the crime is increasing": which crime?
> It should be "crime is increasing" without the word "the".
> Check up how I paraphrased your sentence "the crime all around the globe is
increasing at an alarming rate"
+ Passive "This can be harness with the involvement" -> "This can be harnessed
with the involvement"
+ "its population is sky rocketing, which create so many problems": "create" ->
"creats" (subject verb agreement)
+ "so many problems" is not academic. Please check how I fixed that up.
+ "In which unemployment is the major one; consequently, educated and
sophisticated people survive ...": "in which" should be used for relative clauses. In
other words, you can't use it to start a sentence refering to the subject in the
preceding sentence.
+ "to bear their expense" -> "to bear their expenses"
+ "the major cause which ultimately force people" -> "the major cause which
 ultimately forces people"
+ Punctuation and plural: "To combat this grave problem government can arrange" -
> "To combat this grave problem, governments can arrange"
+ "governments can arrange some educational problem ... in population": You
should rewrite this since there are many grammatical errors resulting in confusions
in its meaning.
> "exacerbated affects" -> "exacerbated effects"
+ "the inflation rate is booming continuously; which cause enormous problem and
create an inequality between rich and poor people"
> subject verb agreement problem
> Plural
+ "problem can be tackle only by Government": subject verb agreement and plural
+ "combine effort" -> "combined effort"

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IELTS Writing Sample

Mandatory Financial Education
IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2
Financial education should be mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you
agree or disagree with this statement?
Go To Sample

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