Project 1 Revision

The Feedback I had received came from two of my fellow peers which mainly consisted

of how my grammar had errors and how differently was able to word my essay to make it seem

more natural. Also, I had gotten feedback on how to conclude my essay which was to revert back

to my beginning sentence and speaking of my Intro they also gave good feedback on how it

grabs their attention and how I seem to get very personal with the experience. I took the feedback

that was related to my grammar and wording and made the necessary changes by inputting

commas, using more descriptive words, and shortening sentences. For my conclusion, I had

taken their advice and referred to my opening sentence and concluded my essay with a similar

concept. Not only did I used the feedback and revised my essay because it was part of my grade

but also it was to help me see what I was able to do to further my writing skills and practice on

how to use the critique to my advantage. I also used the feedback because I probably would have

never read my essay so it was nice to have others read it and give their thoughts on it and how I

may better my essay and my writing. Ive learned that writing is a much longer and thoughtful

process than based writing of a reading. It is a process of using what you learn with what you

know to create and idea, and with said idea create an entire writing. However once done the first

time around it must be reviewed by yourself, and by others to understand how you may enhance

it. When the revision is done you may edit your writing to create the more enhanced version as

your final work. For future writing, I will most likely take how to shorten my sentences by using

more descriptive words so that I would have explicit writing and not over write things with

excessive words and sentences. I will also use the revising part as well because all feedback is

helpful feedback in writing because if it's good then you know what's working and if it is bad

then you know what to improve on.