Alt Academy

ROMEO AND JULIET

STUDENT: ..
CHARACTERS

~ WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE [scene 0, 11]

~ PEN [scene 0, 11]

~ INK [scene 0, 11]

~ JULIET [scene 0, 2, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11]

~ JULIET'S SISTERS (3) [scene 2, 8, 9]

~ ROMEO [scene 0, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10]

~ ROMEO'S FRIENDS (3) [scene 3, 7]

~ LORD & LADY CAPULET [scene 2, 9]

~ PRINCE AND PRINCESS OF VERONA [scene 1, 7]

~ PARIS [scene 2, 4]

~ FRIAR LAURENCE [scene 6, 8]

~ TYBALT [scene 4, 7]

~ TYBALT'S FRIENDS (3) [scene 4, 7]

~ AMBULANCE: DOCTORS (2) AND NURSES (6) [scena 7]

~ PROTESTING KIDS, played by the same 8 people who play the

ambulance kids [scena 0]
 SCENE 0

*The stage should recall the very famous and familiar scene of the balcony (with Juliet leaning out
of it and Romeo on ground floor). This, however, is just an introduction or fake balcony scene,
conceived to create a familiar atmosphere (the real one will come later, at scene 5)*

JULIET: Oh Romeo, Romeo! Be some other name! What's Montague? It is nor hand,
nor foot, nor arm, or face...!

ROMEO: Oh Juliet, I take thee at thy word! Call me but love, and I'll be new
baptized...!

PROTESTING KIDS: "What?!..." "What??" "Whaaat?!" "Is this English??" "What are they
saying??" "I don't understand!" "HEY, STOP! What are you saying??" "WHAT
LANGUAGE IS THAT??" "We don't understand!" "This is not English!" "We
are in year 2015!!!" "PLEASE SPEAK MODERN ENGLISH!!!" "MO-DERN EN-
GLISH! MO-DERN EN-GLISH! MODERN EN-GLISH!!"

SHAKESPEARE: Good afternoon, Sirs & Madams...! Calm down!... Let me introduce myself. I
am the author of this play. My name is William Shakespeare. And these are
my best friends: pen and ink. Maybe you have heard my name before...!

PEN: Yes master!! You are the best!!!

INK: You're a genius, master!!!

SHAKESPEARE: Yes... I am quite famous. ah-ah! I think this is the...14000th time that this
play is represented.

INK: 14527th, master!!

SHAKESPEARE: Oh, thank you, ink! ...Well, my 21th century friends, I have a present for you:
After all, this is year 2009, and... I like this school, so...this time,
exceptionally, and only for you my friends, my play will be in 21st CENTURY
ENGLISH!!! So, my fellows & damsels... enjoy the show!!!

PROTESTING KIDS: "Ok!!" "HEY! gimme five, Shakespeare!" "Gimme five!!!" "Gimme five!!!"

PEN: "...He is the best!!!"

 SCENE 1

*STREET FIGHT: MONTAGUES vs CAPULETS. MUSIC

PRINCE OF VERONA: STOP!!! Stop fighting!! It's the Prince and Princess of Verona
speaking!

EVERYBODY: OH! the Prince of Verona! (they bow)

PRINCE OF VERONA: Listen: This situation is impossible! Montagues and Capulets: you are
rivals and you fight all the time. But the city is tired!

PRINCESS OF VERONA: Yes! You have a fight everyday. Life is impossible for the people of
Verona!!!

PRINCE: These street fights are dangerous. You have to stop them now! From
now on, ANYONE who fights in the streets will be EXILED from the
city!!!

PRINCESS: This is our will, of the Prince and Princess of Verona. If you fight, you
will be exiled forever!

PRINCE & PRINCESS: Goodbye.

SCENE 2
*Juliet is in her room. The sisters knock on the door*

JULIET: Hi, sisters!!

SISTER 1: Hi, Juliet!!

SISTER 2: Hi, Juliet!! We've been shopping for the party!!!

SISTER 3: Oh yes! We've found some really beautiful masks!!

JULIET: Me too, sisters! I just can't wait for the party!!

SISTER 1: Hey, let's see what we've got! (they get on the floor and pull the
masks out of the bag)

SISTER 2: Wooow! That's so nice!!

SISTER 3: What about this, Juliet?

JULIET: That's just fantastic!!

SISTER 1: I am going to wear this!!

*parents knock on the door*

JULIET: Yes?

MOTHER: Julieeet! Girls! What are you doing all here??

JULIET: Hi, mom! We are trying on our masks for tonight!

MOTHER: Yes, but why are you so noisy, girls??? Remember: you are ladies!
You have to behave like those! So stand up! And sit down properly!
(they stand up from the ground and sit down properly on the
bed/chairs) Juliet! I am talking especially about you! You are the
oldest and you are going to get married!! Remember that your
wedding with Paris is next week!!

FATHER: Hey, Juliet! C'mon, stand up! You have a visit!! Your future husband
has come to see you!! Say hello to Paris, Juliet! (Paris enters the
room)

PARIS: Hello Juliet!

JULIET: (bows) Hi Paris... how are you?

PARIS: Oh, I am fine, Juliet!! I am so fine when I see you!!

JULIET: Ehm... Thank you, Paris...

SISTER 1: Sorry Mom...Dad...Paris... but we must get ready now!

SISTER 2: Yes...it's late... The party starts in 1 hour!

FATHER: OK, girls. See you downstairs.

MOTHER: And don't be late!

PARIS: See you, my dear Juliet!

*the girls bow to say goodbye. Mother, father and Paris leave the room and the 4 sisters get

back on the floor*

JULIET: Ohhh.. what can I do??? I don't want to marry Paris!!

SISTER 1: Oh, Juliet...don't worry!

SISTER 2: Yeah...this is a problem, but we will find a solution!!

SISTER 3: Juliet, you will not marry Paris. It's a promise!

JULIET: Oh, thank you sisters!!

SISTER 1: Hey, let's get ready for the party now!!

SISTER 2: Yes!! It's going to be so funny!!

SCENE 3

(in another room, the 4 boys are playing a videogame)

FRIEND 1 (MERCUTIO): ...Yes!! I'm the best!! I'm the best!!... YEAH!!!!! VICTORY!!!!!

ROMEO: Nooo...! He has won again...

FRIEND 2: No way!!!

FRIEND 3: Mercutio, do you play videogames all day???

MERCUTIO: Ah-ah-ah! Very funny!

FRIEND 2: Hey, Romeo! Have you heard about the party tonight?

ROMEO: What?? What party?

FRIEND 3: At the Capulets' house!! It's a masquerade party... and it sounds

FANTASTIC!!

ROMEO: EEEEH?! CAPULETS' house??? are you joking?? We are Montagues!!

We hate the Capulets!! We are rivals!!

MERCUTIO: That's right, Romeo... we are not invited... but! It's a masquerade
party and everybody will have masks...

MERCUTIO: ...SOOOO...

ROMEO: mmm!
FRIEND 2: Don't you get it??

FRIEND 3: Nobody will understand it's us!!

MERCUTIO: It's a perfect plan!

ROMEO: No way! I don't want to go to the Capulets' house... BLEAH!! There

will be Tybalt! He is my enemy number 1!!

MERCUTIO: Oh, c'mon Romeo... There will be a CHANTILLY CAKE!!

FRIEND 2: ...and Champagne!

FRIEND 3: ...and pizza!

ROMEO: Mmmm... OK, guys! I'm coming! ...Let's go and find masks!!

FRIEND 2: Yes!!!!

SCENE 4

(On stage, the party at the Capulets mansion is going on. A table with a fake slice of cake should be
at the centre. Some non-speaking characters may be drinking or eating or talking)

(Romeo and Juliet get to the last slice of cake at the same time)

ROMEO & JULIET: Oh! Sorry!

JULIET: Oh no! is it the last piece of cake?

ROMEO: I think so... Well.......... you can have it...

JULIET: Nevermind! We can share!

ROMEO: Thank you! I'll cut it! (he takes a knife and tries to cut it) Well... it's...
impossible! it's like...PLASTIC!!

JULIET: (takes the piece of cake and hits the table with that) ...Yeah!! it's a bit
old maybe!

ROMEO & JULIET: ...VERY strange!!!

ROMEO: Anyway, my name is...... ahem.............. MATTEO!

JULIET: Oh, hi Matteo! Wow, an Italian name! I'm Juliet Capulet!

ROMEO: Capulet?? did you say "Capulet"??

JULIET: Yes! Juliet Capulet! that's my name.

PARIS: Hi Juliet!! (Paris is walking towards Juliet)

JULIET: Oh, no! Please, let's go somewhere else!

ROMEO: Why? What's up?

JULIET: I'll tell you later!! (they both take a glass & quickly move away from
the table & get out of stage)

PARIS: (in the centre of the stage, facing the audience) Ahh...Women!

TYBALT: HEY!

PARIS: Hi, Tybalt!

TYBALT: Who was that??? That boy with Juliet??

PARIS: I don't know, maybe a school-mate!

TYBALT: (angry) That was a Montague! That was ROMEO MONTAGUE!!!

TYBALT'S FRIENDS: ROMEO MONTAGUE???

TYBALT'S FRIEND 1: It's impossible!

TYBALT'S FRIEND 2: Are you crazy??

TYBALT'S FRIEND 3: The Montagues are not invited!

TYBALT: I know. The Montagues are not invited but they are here anyway.
Guys: we need a REVENGE!! (Juliet is on the balcony and Romeo
downstairs, at stage level)
 SCENE 5

JULIET: ...Ahh...Romeo! ...Romeo Montague...!! (starts listening to an mp3

player)

ROMEO: Juliet!!! (he throws a small rock to the balcony) ...Julieeet!!! (he
throws a bigger one) Oh! this is perfect (he takes the piece of cake &
throws it) ...JULIEEEEEEET!!!

JULIET: ROMEO?? oh, ROMEO!!

ROMEO: I'm sorry, it's late... but I wanted to see you!!!

JULIET: Oh Romeo!

ROMEO: Is it a problem if my name is Montague?

JULIET: Oh no! A name is nothing, for me!! Is it a problem if my name is

Capulet?

ROMEO: Of course not! So... Juliet... would you marry me??

JULIET: ...oh YES!!!!!!!!!

SCENE 6

FRIAR LAURENCE: My faithful friends! We are here for a very special occasion. The
celebration of a secret wedding! Romeo, my friend, and Juliet, today
you are showing that names are not important! Your love is bigger
than the rivalry between your families!! Romeo Montague: would
you marry Juliet Capulet?

ROMEO: I do! I don't care about her name!

FRIAR LAURENCE: And you, Juliet Capulet, would you marry Romeo Montague?

JULIET: I do! I don't care about his name!

FRIAR LAURENCE: Romeo and Juliet, you are now husband and wife!! .....Well.......OK...
Let's drink!!! (the Friar pulls out a bottle of wine & glasses from
behind the altar!)
 SCENE 7

*in the streets of Verona, Romeo and his friends are hanging out*

ROMEO'S FRIEND 2: Hey, Romeo! You look really strange today!

ROMEO'S FRIEND 1: Yeah, that's right!

ROMEO'S FRIEND 3: You don't even want to play with the playstation!!

ROMEO: Well, guys... I fell in love!

ROMEO'S FRIENDS 1, 2, 3: WHAT?? Who is she?? (Tybalt and his friends enter the stage)

TYBALT: HEY!!! (the 4 Montagues turn towards the other group) ROMEO
MONTAGUE!! I saw you at the party! And you were NOT invited!!

MERCUTIO: Ah ah ah!! Yes, it's true! That was a great party!

TYBALT: Don't dare, Montagues!!

They fight: - Mercutio gets wounded by Tybalt and lays on the ground. - Romeo gets angry and
wounds Tybalt, who lays on the ground as well.

*AN AMBULANCE COMES*

NURSE 1: Hey!!! An accident!!! Hurry up, hurry up!!!!!

NURSE 2: Doctor Casa!!!!!!! Doctor Casa, this one is wounded!!!!

DR CASA: Oh. Yes. But he needs some ice first! (puts ice on the wounded's
forehead)

DR 2: No no no, this is bronchitis. Absolutely! He needs an aerosol.

NURSE 3: Hey!!!! These people are bleeding!!!

NURSE 4: Let's take them to the hospital!

DR CASA: Anyway, that's fever!

DR 2: No way, that's bronchitis, doctor Casa!

DR CASA: Fever!
DR 2: Bronchitis! (etc.)

NURSES 5 & 6: ...HEY, DOCTORS!!!

PRINCE OF VERONA: WHAT HAPPENED??

PRINCESS OF VERONA: ANOTHER FIGHT IN OUR CITY??!!

TYBALT'S FRIENDS: It was Romeo Montague!!! It was Romeo Montague!!!

PRINCE OF VERONA: Romeo Montague!!! You had a fight!! Another violent fight in my
city! YOU ARE EXILED!!!

PRINCESS OF VERONA: You have to leave Verona right now!!! and never come back!!!

PRINCE OF VERONA: This is the law, Romeo!

PRINCE & PRINCESS OF VERONA: Goodbye.

SCENE 8

(Juliet & her sisters are in Juliet's room, very worried and waiting for Friar Laurence to come. Then
he knocks on the door)

JULIET: Oh, Friar Laurence! Finally!!

SISTERS 1, 2, 3: Friar Laurence!!

FRIAR: Hello, girls! What's the matter?? You said it's an emergency!

JULIET: Oh, friar... This is such a bad situation... My cousin Tybalt is at the
hospital... Mercutio is at the hospital... Romeo is exiled... And
tomorrow, I have to mary Paris!!! What can I do??

FRIAR: Hmmmm... let me think... Well, it's easy, Juliet! Pretend you're ill!!

SISTERS: Wow! good idea!!

FRIAR: Like I did to skip my lessons, at school!

SISTER 1: Yes, we can make it! First: let's put the thermometer on the heating!

SISTER 2: Second: some white makeup! Remember: you are ill!

SISTER 3: Third: some sleeping pills! so you look weak!

JULIET: Hey, thank you guys!!!! Let's try!!!

SCENE 9

JULIET'S MOTHER: Juliet!! Julieeet!

(Juliet's parents enter the room)

SISTER 1: Hey, Mom! Dad! Juliet is ill!!

SISTER 2: Look! 39 degrees! (shows the thermometer)

MOTHER: Oh my God!

SISTER 3: Mom...Dad... she can't get married today!...

JULIET'S FATHER: Oh, poor Juliet! Yeah, the marriage can't be today... We have to call a
doctor! and tell it to Paris!

JULIET'S MOTHER: Yes! Let's do it!... Oh, poor Juliet!!

Juliet's parents go out quickly. The sisters give each other a "five":

SISTERS 1, 2, 3: "YES!!!"

SCENE 10

Romeo enters the room slowly (Because he shouldn't be in Verona!).

Juliet is sleeping, but she looks dead.

ROMEO: Juliet! (she keeps on sleeping)

ROMEO: ......Juliet?!! (he shakes her, she keeps on sleeping)

ROMEO: ...Oh, no......JULIEEEEEEET!!!!!!!!!!!!

JULIET: ........Hmm?..... (slowly wakes up)Oh, hi

Romeo........ROMEO???....ROMEO!!!! Oh, it's you! Finally!!!!
ROMEO: JULIET! What a fright!!!!

JULIET: Yes...sorry! I took some sleeping pills to skip my wedding with Paris!
...But...You can't stay here in Verona! You are exiled!

ROMEO: Yes. it's true. I can't stay in Verona. Would you escape with me,
Juliet??

JULIET: Of course!!! I love travelling!!!

They talk while they exit the stage:

ROMEO: I want to go to France!

JULIET: I want to go to India!

ROMEO: I want to go to Japan!

JULIET: I want to go to Mexico!

SCENE 11

SHAKESPEARE: Well! This was my original version of "Romeo and Juliet"!

PEN: This is a happy ending!

INK: (crying!) Master...! I loved it!! That was fantastic!!!

SHAKESPEARE: Yeah...I never liked tragedies!