1

Process of Revision:

Reverse Editing
I used reverse editing because it helped me realize that I had so many pronouns that were not
making any sense during my writing and it caused my readers to get lost. When I read back
over, I was able to edit my writing more and help it make more sense to the readers. In my final
edit though, there are some added sentences and words that arent added into the revision
here, but you will notice. I believed this and the added sentences/wording, made my paper
better because it was not as hard to read and understand. The highlighted portion is what I
wanted to change after I read it backwards. I did not get to finish in class, so I went home and
finished editing this paper and I think that it really improved the way that I worded things.
Helping:
I always choose to help my brother, Logan, he has been my best friend throughout my entire
life even though we sometimes disagree.
Usually we are on the same side as each other but sometimes we tend to fight against rather
than together.
My brother was very young during the first time that I had to protect him and it was during the
blazing summer heat.
I remember the day perfectly because I was getting ready for work, and since I was required to
wear all black, I remember how hot it was because as soon as I walked outside I was sweating.
My parents had left to go to a comedy show down in Atlanta and he was home with me until I
went to work.
Even though my brother was 12 at the time, he did not have much body structure. He is a very
cute boy, but he is very small and does not even look like the age he should be.
He is underweighted and does not have much body mass, so everyone tends to think he is way
younger than he actually is.
One specific time, around the age of 12, he decided that he was going to take my car out and
drive it around the neighborhood when my parents were not home.
I had just gotten the car as a present for my sixteenth birthday and I was so excited to take it to
work for the first time.
Before work, I was upstairs getting ready for work and had not been thinking about what he
was doing.
I was in the middle of getting dressed when I had heard the garage door screech open. At the
time, I had thought nothing of it, but Lord knows I should have.
I did not hear anyone come inside but in my head, I was just thinking, Maybe my parents came
home because they forgot something.
I continued to get ready and was thinking about what outfit I should wear that day. A few
minutes later I heard knock on my front door.
I was just thinking about how it was probably just one of my brothers friends asking him to
come out and play because that is what usually happens.
I assumed he would answer the door but after a few minutes whoever was outside kept
knocking on the door.
I yelled, Logan! Go answer the door!
 2

I heard nothing so I stormed downstairs super angrily and swung open the front door to see my
brother standing there with two cops holding my brother in between them.
I was standing there in complete shock while the cop looked at me and said, Are you his
mom? I couldnt even answer them and all I could think about is how did he get himself into
this mess.
The only words I could manage to mutter out were Uhhh no? The cops then stood there and
explained to me that my neighbors called the them because they noticed an unusually young
kid driving around a bright yellow car and they were very right about it.
The people that lived next door to me had noticed that my car had a not very good driver inside
had been inside driving and their first instinct had been to call the police which was definitely
the right idea.
The whole time I had no idea what was going on because I had been upstairs and I had not
been worried about what he was doing because I thought that he was old enough to make the
right decisions (I was clearly wrong).
Even though someone had caught him, what if something had gone wrong and he couldve
been seriously injured?
I was so mad at the time because I was worried more about what could have happened to my
car but now I realize that I shouldve been more worried about him and his life.
I think now he realizes what the consequences could have been and I am glad he learned his
lesson from this.

Helping my brother has never not been at option.

He has been my best friend since he was born and usually we are on the same side as each
other but sometimes we fight.
That happens to all siblings, right?
Being an older sister comes with responsibility to be almost a protector.
Not like the angel type, but more of a figure for him to look up to.
Remembering the first day that I had to protect my brother was not very hard.
It was a hot July day and I had been getting ready to head off to my brand-new job at the shoe
store.
That day has permanently stained my brain and I remember sitting at my vanity putting on my
makeup on when I heard my garage open.
I had not been thinking about who might be opening the garage door or why.
It could have been my parents or my brother but all were capable of walking outside.
My parents had just left to go to a comedy show down in Atlanta and they could have turned
back because they forgot something.
It could have been my brother who was going outside to play basketball with his friends. Who
knew who it was but I was not concerned.
My brother, Logan, is a very small kid.
Even though he was 12 at the time, he did not have much body structure and was very small.
He is a very cute boy, but he is very underweight, doesnt grow much and is in the 5 th
percentile.
Since he is so small he is usually thought to be younger than he actually is.
He is a brown haired, green eyed kid with a heart of gold.
 3

Logan is a kid who just wants to have things his way and thats the end of it and that explains
why he took my car out.
That garage screech was not my parents, but my little brother, leaving in a car that he was not
ready to be driving.
I had just gotten the car as a present for my sixteenth birthday and I was so excited to take it to
work for the first time.
Before I had realized what was happening, I was upstairs getting ready for work and had not
been paying attention to him because usually he was capable of preoccupying himself.
I had been in the middle of putting on my hideous work outfit (all black yuck!) when I heard the
garage open.
Like I said before, I did not think anything of it, and, why should I? I had not heard anyone
come inside my house, which was slightly strange, but in my head, I was just thinking, Maybe
my parents came home because they forgot something.
My parents were headed down to Atlanta to see a comedy show for their anniversary and had
left my brother and myself home alone for the evening.
I had been planning on leaving for work at some point, so Logan would have been home by
himself.
That is not uncommon though, he is home alone all the time since everyone in my family works.
I continued to get ready and was thinking about what outfit I should wear that day. I had been
searching my closet for the outfit that wouldnt cause me to sweat ridiculously.
A few minutes later I heard knock on my front door. I ignored it the first time hoping that my
brother would answer because it was most likely one of his friends.
The knock came again. I walked outside of my room and over the banister I yelled, Logan! Go
answer the door!
I heard nothing.
I slammed my door and stormed down the stairs screaming, LOGAN WHERE ARE YOU!
When I heard no answer, I angrily swung open the front door to see my brother standing there
with two cops.
I was in complete and utter shock and no words could even come out of my mouth.
I stood there. No movement until the cop said, Do you know this kid? I couldnt even answer
them.
All I could wonder was how did he get himself into this mess. The only words I could manage to
mutter out were Yes.
Those cops towered over my very small brother. I couldnt focus on one word they were saying,
I was just so worried for him.
The cops standing there tall, explained, Your neighbors called us because they noticed that he
had been driving around in a car that wasnt his. We are not pressing charges, we just want to
make it aware that this is not safe and that he could have been seriously injured, or worse hurt
someone else.
My heart sank.
I could not believe what they were saying.
I was so relieved, yet so worried at the same time.
I had been so focused on myself that I never figured out what he was doing.
 4

The whole time I was more concerned with getting ready and looking good that I forgot I has a
sibling I was responsible to look after.
I was heartbroken.
It should not have been this way.
I should have payed attention.
I should have fixed this.
I dragged my brother inside the house after the cops had finished talking to me.
I yelled at him.
I screamed at him.
I did what any person would do, but I should not have.
He knew what choices he was making, and he knew the consequences, so why did I feel the
need to yell?
Even though someone had caught him and helped him, what if something had gone wrong and
he couldve been seriously hurt?
I was so mad at the time because I was worried more about what could have happened to my
car rather than him.
Now I realize that I shouldve been more worried about him and his life.
Many bad things could have gone wrong, and thank goodness, they didnt.
I now realize what consequences do come with not doing the things that you should be doing.
Logan is much older now and he realizes what could have happened to him or someone else.

That day I realized that him taking out that car really described what happens when you grow
up. The car isnt more or less a car, it is more of a figure of speech saying that someday I need
to stop babying him so much and that I need to teach him how to look out for himself in the
real world, and what the difference is between right and wrong.
At the time, I think he felt like he was being treated like a child and he thought this was the only
way he could act out and get his point across.
He told me that this is the only way that the thought that our parents would stop treating him
like a child so much and possibly give him more responsibilities and help him grow to be a
better person.
The car represented how much my brother needs me in a way. He wants to grow up but there
is also a need for some room to grow up.
The car just represents the process of growing up and becoming older and how you need to let
the baby bird out of the nest so that it can fly.
I realized that day that my baby brother is growing up and I need to let him fly.

That day I realized that him taking out that car really described what happens when you grow
up.
The car will always be a car but that day it represented something more. It was a figure of
speech for me that day saying, that someday I need to stop babying him so much and that he is
going to make wrong decisions, but at least hes learning the difference between right and
wrong.
 5

I believe that he felt like he was being treated like a child and he thought this was the only way
he could act out and get his point across.
Logan told me that this is the only way that the thought that our parents would stop treating
him like a child so much and possibly give him more responsibilities and help him grow to be a
better person.
He wants to grow up but there is also a need for some room for him to still need help.
The car represented how much my brother needs me; He wants to grow up but there is also a
need for some room for him to still need help.
That car represents him as a person and how he wants to grow up and become older, but still
needs help from other people, even if he doesnt want to admit it.
That day changed my perspective on him. I realized he needed to grow up and I needed to let
him fly.

My mom and dad eventually let him go more than I was willing to.
He always seemed like such a baby to me and it made me sad that they were letting him grow
up so quickly even though I still looked at him as super little.
I am a sibling so shouldnt I be the one who is more willing to watch him grow up?
They let him stay home alone from the age of 10 and tried to teach him how to be an adult as
soon as it was possible.
I think this was because he is also the second child and they had already parented me so they
felt as though they did not need to be as strict on him as they were on me.
I felt as though since I was always treated as super protected and felt like I was being hovered
on that he should have been felt the same way that I felt, but instead he was able to ride in the
front seat at a way younger age than I was allowed (yes, I was annoyed).
At the time, I just felt like I had to take responsibility to be a parent figure because my
parents were giving him more leniency than they gave me.
Even though I did not like the parenting style my parents had at the time, they were smart to
let him make his own mistakes at such a young age because it made him realize what the
difference between right and wrong was and it taught him many lessons that he might not have
gotten to experience if they treated him like a baby.

My mom and dad eventually let him go more than I was willing to.
He always seemed like such a baby to me and it made me sad that they were letting him grow
up so quickly even though I still looked at him as super little.
I am a sibling so shouldnt I be the one who is more willing to watch him grow up?
They let him stay home alone from the age of 10 and tried to teach him how to be an adult as
soon as it was possible.
Since I was older, I think they learned from my mistakes and parented Logan differently.
I felt as though since I was always treated as super protected and had helicopter parents, that
he should have been felt the same way that I felt.
 6

During the time, I felt like I had to take responsibility as a parent because he was treated
more like an adult than I was.
Even though I was concerned about their parenting style, they made the right choice by letting
him make his own mistakes. He was young and he needed to comprehend what the difference
between right and wrong was; He would not have been able to realize it if I was trying to be
more of a parent than a sibling.

When I heard the garage open I wasnt even thinking anything of it.
I was only thinking about myself at the time.
I had just though it had been my parents coming home because maybe they had forgotten
something.
Not once did it ever cross my mind that it was my baby, 12-year-old, brother taking off in a car.
The thing though, is that the car has so many updated features that thank goodness kept him
from crashing and soon he was back safe at home because in reality, most kids who take out a
car at that age, do not come back alive, either by a car crash, or maybe just their parents even
being very mad.

When I heard the garage screech open, I had not been thinking anything about it, and I had only
been concerned with myself and not the other people around me.
When I heard the garage open, my first thought was that my parents were coming home
because they had forgotten something.
Not once did it cross my mind that it would be my little brother taking off in a car.
The car had many updated features that helped my brother stay safe, because most kids might
not have come back alive.

Glossing Rhetorical Analysis

I used glossing in my rhetorical analysis to make my argument stronger. I used this technique to
try and organize my writing in a new way. I ended up using #3 as my closest guideline, and then
restored to the final glossing at the bottom, while finishing my rhetorical analysis because after
reading back over it, I decided it made more sense and made my argument about millennials
stronger. I was able to add my personal opinion into my encounter by using the glossing
method to try and reorganize my writing. I also got the idea of using headers in class, and I
believe that the headers section off my writing and make my argument stronger because its
separated into different pieces.
Original:
Intro
Credibility as author
Cereal- Logos
Cereal Contradicting
Yogurt- Logos
Bar Soap- Logos
Background of dad/beginning details
 7

Dialogue of Conversation
How he used the term- his meaning
Conclusion
Mix of Bad
Change for Good
Baby Boomer
My opinion-Dad
What we are known as

#1:
Intro
Credibility as author
Mix of Bad
Change for Good
Cereal- Logos
Cereal Contradicting
Yogurt- Logos
Bar Soap- Logos
Baby Boomer
Background of dad/beginning details
Dialogue of Conversation
How he used the term- his meaning
What we are known as
Conclusion
My opinion-Dad

#2:
Intro
What we are known as
Credibility as author
Cereal- Logos
Cereal Contradicting
Yogurt- Logos
Bar Soap- Logos
Mix of Bad
Background of dad/beginning details
Dialogue of Conversation
How he used the term- his meaning
My opinion-Dad
Baby Boomer
Conclusion
Change for Good

#3:
 8

Intro
What we are known as
Credibility as author
Cereal- Logos
Cereal Contradicting
Yogurt- Logos
Bar Soap- Logos
Background of dad/beginning details
Dialogue of Conversation
My opinion-Dad
How he used the term- his meaning
Conclusion
Mix of Bad
Change for Good
Baby Boomer

Headings:
Intro
Mix of Bad
Change for Good
Credibility as author
Cereal- Logos
Cereal Contradicting
Yogurt- Logos
Bar Soap- Logos
Baby Boomer
Background of dad/beginning details
Dialogue of Conversation
My opinion-Dad
What we are known as
How he used the term- his meaning
Conclusion

Final:
Intro
Mix of Bad
Credibility as author
Cereal- Logos
Cereal Contradicting
Change for Good
Yogurt- Logos
Bar Soap- Logos
Background of dad/beginning details
Baby Boomer
 9

Dialogue of Conversation
My opinion-Dad
How he used the term- his meaning
What we are known as
Conclusion

General Words Editing

During class, we used the general words editing tricks where we highlighted the general words,
verbs and the first words of each sentence. I checked each word and I edited them while
finishing my final draft so that my writing is less general and has more detail. I was trying to
change the pronouns so that my sentence structure would flow better and be less choppy.
HIGHLIGHTED GENERAL WORDS/VERBS/FIRST WORDS
Helping:
I always choose to help my brother, Logan, he has been my best friend throughout my entire
life even though we sometimes disagree. Usually we are on the same side as each other but
sometimes we tend to fight against rather than together. My brother was very young during
the first time that I had to protect him and it was during the blazing summer heat. I remember
the day perfectly because I was getting ready for work, and since I was required to wear all
black, I remember how hot it was because as soon as I walked outside I was sweating. My
parents had left to go to a comedy show down in Atlanta and he was home with me until I went
to work. Even though my brother was 12 at the time, he did not have much body structure. He
is a very cute boy, but he is very small and does not even look like the age he should be. He is
underweighted and does not have much body mass, so everyone tends to think he is way
younger than he actually is. One specific time, around the age of 12, he decided that he was
going to take my car out and drive it around the neighborhood when my parents were not
home. I had just gotten the car as a present for my sixteenth birthday and I was so excited to
take it to work for the first time. Before work, I was upstairs getting ready for work and had not
been thinking about what he was doing. I was in the middle of getting dressed when I had
heard the garage door screech open. At the time, I had thought nothing of it, but Lord knows I
should have. I did not hear anyone come inside but in my head, I was just thinking, Maybe my
parents came home because they forgot something. I continued to get ready and was thinking
about what outfit I should wear that day. A few minutes later I heard knock on my front door. I
was just thinking about how it was probably just one of my brothers friends asking him to
come out and play because that is what usually happens. I assumed he would answer the door
but after a few minutes whoever was outside kept knocking on the door. I yelled, Logan! Go
answer the door! I heard nothing so I stormed downstairs super angrily and swung open the
front door to see my brother standing there with two cops holding my brother in between
them. I was standing there in complete shock while the cop looked at me and said, Are you his
mom? I couldnt even answer them and all I could think about is how did he get himself into
this mess. The only words I could manage to mutter out were Uhhh no? The cops then stood
there and explained to me that my neighbors called the them because they noticed an
unusually young kid driving around a bright yellow car and they were very right about it. The
 10

people that lived next door to me had noticed that my car had a not very good driver inside had
been inside driving and their first instinct had been to call the police which was definitely the
right idea. The whole time I had no idea what was going on because I had been upstairs and I
had not been worried about what he was doing because I thought that he was old enough to
make the right decisions (I was clearly wrong). Even though someone had caught him, what if
something had gone wrong and he couldve been seriously injured? I was so mad at the time
because I was worried more about what could have happened to my car but now I realize that I
shouldve been more worried about him and his life. I think now he realizes what the
consequences could have been and I am glad he learned his lesson from this.

That day I realized that him taking out that car really described what happens when you grow
up. The car isnt more or less a car, it is more of a figure of speech saying that someday I need
to stop babying him so much and that I need to teach him how to look out for himself in the
real world, and what the difference is between right and wrong. At the time, I think he felt like
he was being treated like a child and he thought this was the only way he could act out and get
his point across. He told me that this is the only way that the thought that our parents would
stop treating him like a child so much and possibly give him more responsibilities and help him
grow to be a better person. The car represented how much my brother needs me in a way. He
wants to grow up but there is also a need for some room to grow up. The car just represents
the process of growing up and becoming older and how you need to let the baby bird out of the
nest so that it can fly. I realized that day that my baby brother is growing up and I need to let
him fly.

My mom and dad eventually let him go more than I was willing to. He always seemed like such
a baby to me and it made me sad that they were letting him grow up so quickly even though I
still looked at him as super little. I am a sibling so shouldnt I be the one who is more willing to
watch him grow up? They let him stay home alone from the age of 10 and tried to teach him
how to be an adult as soon as it was possible. I think this was because he is also the second
child and they had already parented me so they felt as though they did not need to be as strict
on him as they were on me. I felt as though since I was always treated as super protected and
felt like I was being hovered on that he should have been felt the same way that I felt, but
instead he was able to ride in the front seat at a way younger age than I was allowed (yes, I was
annoyed). At the time, I just felt like I had to take responsibility to be a parent figure because
my parents were giving him more leniency than they gave me. Even though I did not like the
parenting style my parents had a the time, they were smart to let him make his own mistakes at
such a young age because it made him realize what the difference between right and wrong
was and it taught him many lessons that he might not have gotten to experience if they treated
him like a baby.

When I heard the garage open I wasnt even thinking anything of it. I was only thinking about
myself at the time. I had just though it had been my parents coming home because maybe they
had forgotten something. Not once did it ever cross my mind that it was my baby, 12-year-old,
brother taking off in a car. The thing though, is that the car has so many updated features that
thank goodness kept him from crashing and soon he was back safe at home because in reality,
 11

most kids who take out a car at that age, do not come back alive, either by a car crash, or
maybe just their parents even being very mad.

Rhetorical Analysis Updated- Nov. 10

This was my updated rhetorical analysis after I started to add more of my opinions throughout
my writing. I still have things highlighted to that I know what to change before my final draft is
finished. I need to still add more detail and fix the things that are highlighted.
The Generation of Wrong
Add Paragraph about McWhorter/Lunsford
The Life of the Typical Millennial:
There are targeted to be around 75.4 million millennials (cite) in the United States, and
those people are usually known as corrupters. Millennials are usually defined and targeted as
people who are corrupting our government and completely ruining society. We ruin things from
the way people eat breakfast to the way that things are done throughout the daily lives of
everyone around us. We get accused of being too sensitive and over dramatic at the same time.
We never seem to be able to do anything right. Millennial has turned from a word that is used
to describe someones age and is now used as a toxic term to call someone when they do
something that you dont agree with. Need to add thesis!!!
I think that millennials sometimes get lost in the crowd of generations that are
surrounding them. I think that older generations get the idea that we are all bad people
because of certain groups of people that are not living up to the expectations of society. The
older generations are describing us through negative term that originally didnt have the
meaning that it does now. Millennials are not the generation thats wrong and full of self-pity
and doubt. I believe that we are the generation of new and exciting, along with being the
generation that wants to change the world.
Who is Kate Taylor?
Millennials usually characterized as the generation that ruins everything. We are the lazy
and entitled generation and only think about ourselves and Kate Taylor agrees with that. Kate
wrote the article Millennials are Killing List, which describes and analyzes all of the things that
millennials have ruined including soap, cereal and even napkins. She uses her power in Business
Insider to persuade readers that millennials are the reason that so many things are dying out
and that it is not just the word evolving. She does lose a lot of credibility on her articles though
because most of her work does not include cited sources or any data that gives her any validity.
(ADD MORE) Loses credibility?
Kate Taylor advises the readers that millennials are the readers are killing cereal and that it
will eventually die off due to that the younger generation is turning towards breakfast on-the-
go because they do not want to clean up the mess that is involved. She uses logos to persuade
her audience to think that most millennials are lazy and not able to clean up after themselves
by saying, Almost 40% of millennials surveyed by Mintel said cereal was an inconvenient
breakfast choice because they had to clean up after eating it and that it was reported by the
 12

New York times in 2016. If you pay attention to her facts, then you realize that she is quoting a
survey which can have a lot of bias data about who they interviewed and where they
interviewed the people. She quotes her sources about her findings but then in the article that
she sources, does not have any information about the survey. The article that she quotes, does
not have any information about who conducted the survey, why they conducted it, and how
they conducted it. Because of this, she loses all credibility in that part of her article .. Add
more detail about losing credibility
Even though she is trying to make a point about why she thinks that cereal is dying, she
also contradicts herself at the end of her paragraph by saying, Companies such as Kellogg and
General Mills have reported that sales have stopped falling in 2017, so cereal may not be dead
just yet. She writes part of her article about how we are killing cereal but she has no real data
to support her thoughts, so how can you really trust what she is saying? She is trying to appeal
to the audience of her older generations by using logos and facts, but her facts are not entirely
correct and she is losing her audience by portraying her article this way. Millennials are not
killing cereal, they love it just as much as ever before.
I dont think that millennials are the bad in the world right now because I know many
people who are doing things that are trying to help change the world. I have many friends who
are a part of the World Race and are trying to change things for people in other countries by
traveling to them and trying to give them clean water and a better lifestyle, but you dont hear
about these types of things on the news. All you hear about is the millennial that never did their
job, or tried to kill many innocent people, but that should not describe a whole population,
because I can personally attest that millennials are doing good, and those baby boomers are
not ready to accept it.
Kate writes in her article about how yogurt sales have slowly declined because of
millennials. She writes, Light yogurt sales fell 8.5% in the year ended in September 2016,
dropping $200 million from roughly $1.2 billion to $1 billion, according to Nielson data. She
says that it has do to with the amount of natural organic foods that are coming to the market
and are now. (Finish)
Bar Soap: Bar soap sales fell 2.2% from 2014 to 2015, a time when the rest of the
shower-and-bath category grew, according to Mintel
Pathos:
HUMOR -- Fabric Softener: According to Downy maker Procter & Gamble's head of global fabric
care, millennials "don't even know what the product is for."

Baby Boomers Shut Up!

My dad tends to think that millennials are the downfall of the American government and
that when it comes for millennials to do something good, they always tend to do it wrong. On
October 27, my dad and I went into the repair store to get our lawnmower fixed. As he was
talking to the guy, they started discussing both of their jobs because my dad is also a mechanic.
As they were having their conversation they both started talking about how the millennials in
their work force are not doing their jobs and how they are always having to pick up their slack.
Their conversation continued about the negatives about millennials but never once did they say
anything positive.
 13

I do not believe that millennials should be a term that we describe people by in a negative
way. The baby boomer generation is never described in a negative way because that is the
most dominating generation right now. They never get described as bad and not capable of
anything, so why is my generation being called this? The word millennial has turned into such a
negative term and now people are getting offended by being called because you are essentially
being called lazy and incapable of doing anything. All. of those baby boomers believe that we
are the reason that society is supposedly supposed to end since, but how can we do that? As a
generation, I believe that we are doing what we need to do for us, and the baby boomer
generation does not like where it is headed because they are not used to the new technology
and new lifestyle and I think that they are blaming everything on us because they are not ready
for the world to evolve.
Paragraph 2: how he said it- (details on dialogue and the actions)
I know that my dad is one of the people who thinks that millennials are the worst
generation to come about and that they are going to ruin society. Around our house, he used
that word to describe my brother and I in such a negative way. My brother tends to take it in a
negative way because he does not want to be associated with the negative term that my dad
makes it out to be. I do not think that my dad realizes such the negative way that he is using the
term and how people do not want to be described in that way.
Paragraph 3: understanding of how term is being used
The End of This Era:
I do not think that the word millennial should have the negative connotation that is
associated with it. I think that there are many other words that you can use to describe a single
person if deemed necessary, but I dont think that we should be described so negatively
described as a generation. I believe that our generation should be known as good and that the
word millennial shouldnt be such a negative term as that we ruin everything, are too sensitive
and very lazy. I think you can describe a person that way but a whole generation should not be
described that way because it is such a small portion of the population and not a generation as
a whole.
The word Millennial. What does it mean to you? Are you the guy who calles the
people at your work that to make them feel less of themselves? The end of this negative word
needs to end now. Millennials should not be known as these types of things. We are the
generation of new and exciting and we are ready to take the leap into the new world.
Millennials are not the bad that everyone thinks we are. We are good and we deserve not to be
treated as less than. Millennials are the new generation ready to make the biggest changes yet.

What do I want to argue? 11/7/17

This was during class on November 7th. We were asked to take 10 minutes and write about
what we want to argue about our topic and what we want people to believe. I wrote this during
class and ended up expanding on it and adding more of my opinions throughout my rhetorical
analysis.
 14

I want to argue that millennials are not made out to be as bad as they seem. I want to prove
that it is not such a derogatory term, but just a generation. I know that each generation is
known for something but I want to argue that our generation is not the generation that
everyone deems It out to be. I want to let everyone know that there are many good things that
millennials have done. I want people to believe different things about us as a generation and
not just think that we are the lazy entitled generation. There are people like that in every
generation, but I dont believe that that is what our generation should be deemed as.

I want people to change their minds about the way that they perceive millennials and that they
arent the lazy, entitled generation that everyone makes them out to be and that people will
think that they are a hardworking generation that wants to do the best for everything and
everyone around them.

Rhetorical Analysis Title Ideas

We brainstormed in class about the different titles we could use for our paper that were funny
and out of the box. I tended to start with some boring ones but then I was able to expand out
into a larger and broader spectrum that would eventually lead to the title, The Generation of
Wrong. I even used some of these titles as headers throughout my paper.
Millennials
The meaning of Millennials
Millennials are great
Millennials should be better
Millennials were worse
Baby Boomers Shut Up!
Goodbye Gen. X!
Hello New World
Hello Millennials
Goodbye old, Hello New
Welcome to the Generation of Wrong
The Worst Generation Ever
The Generation of nothing good
Millennials, the worst ever
The Generation of Lazy
The laziest generation ever
Rhetorical Analysis Brainstorming
These are the ideas that I started brainstorming in class when we first started our rhetorical
analysis. I ended up choosing the word millennial because I thought that it would be a good
topic because I could persuade people not to think of millennials as such a bad generation, but
a good one.
Rhetorical Analysis Ideas:

Special Needs- levels of attention; defined as different;

 15

Hipster- the way a person dress; where they live;

Patriotism- NFL Football; hear people talking about it
Terrorist- Islamic; White People (Vegas);
Oppressed- Minorities; #BlackLivesMatter;
Helicopter Mom- overprotective; my mom; caring or too much;
Immigrant- From different countries; Mexicans; Trumps Wall;
Nerd- smart; weird; different;
Media/News- fake news; on behalf of someone else;
Mental Illness- terrorism; friends mental illness;
Gender- transgender; 2 genders or more; the morality;
Millennial- ruining the future; have points of view that are changing the world in a bad
way; too sensitive;
Racism- meanings; derogatory; humor?; media;

Argue a new meaning for it; so, and so should never use it; the way that I think it means; use
argument tactics (logos, ethos, pathos) to prove your point

Make a list of the quirky questions that you have and choose a word from those questions that
you can answer:

What are stereotypes that you encounter:

Terrorist
Dumb Blonde
Jock
Fag
Cat Lady

Week 8 Revisions:
This revision/editing was when I turned in my progression from week 5 to week 8. I had not
changed much in heling. I started to add a scene and edited a few sentences, but I started
to write another Annie Dillard piece, and added in my writing prompts from a few weeks
prior.

Helping:
I always choose to help my brother, Logan, he has been my best friend throughout my
entire life even though we sometimes disagree. Usually we are on the same side as each
other but sometimes we tend to fight against rather than together. My brother was very
young during the first time that I had to protect him and it was during the blazing summer
heat. I remember the day perfectly because I was getting ready for work, and since I was
required to wear all black, I remember how hot it was because as soon as I walked outside I
 16

was sweating. My parents had left to go to a comedy show down in Atlanta and he was
home with me until I went to work. Even though my brother was 12 at the time, he did not
have much body structure. He is a very cute boy, but he is very small and does not even
look like the age he should be. He is underweighted and does not have much body mass, so
everyone tends to think he is way younger than he actually is. One specific time, around
the age of 12, he decided that he was going to take my car out and drive it around the
neighborhood when my parents were not home. I had just gotten the car as a present for
my sixteenth birthday and I was so excited to take it to work for the first time. Before work,
I was upstairs getting ready for work and had not been thinking about what he was doing. I
was in the middle of getting dressed when I had heard the garage door screech open. At the
time, I had thought nothing of it, but Lord knows I should have. I did not hear anyone come
inside but in my head, I was just thinking, Maybe my parents came home because they
forgot something. I continued to get ready and was thinking about what outfit I should
wear that day. A few minutes later I heard knock on my front door. I was just thinking about
how it was probably just one of my brothers friends asking him to come out and play
because that is what usually happens. I assumed he would answer the door but after a few
minutes whoever was outside kept knocking on the door. I yelled, Logan! Go answer the
door! I heard nothing so I stormed downstairs super angrily and swung open the front
door to see my brother standing there with two cops holding my brother in between them.
I was standing there in complete shock while the cop looked at me and said, Are you his
mom? I couldnt even answer them and all I could think about is how did he get himself
into this mess. The only words I could manage to mutter out were Uhhh no? The cops
then stood there and explained to me that my neighbors called the them because they
noticed an unusually young kid driving around a bright yellow car and they were very right
about it. The people that lived next door to me had noticed that my car had a not very good
driver inside had been inside driving and their first instinct had been to call the police which
was definitely the right idea. The whole time I had no idea what was going on because I had
been upstairs and I had not been worried about what he was doing because I thought that
he was old enough to make the right decisions (I was clearly wrong). Even though someone
had caught him, what if something had gone wrong and he couldve been seriously injured?
I was so mad at the time because I was worried more about what could have happened to
my car but now I realize that I shouldve been more worried about him and his life. I think
now he realizes what the consequences could have been and I am glad he learned his
lesson from this.

That day I realized that him taking out that car really described what happens when you
grow up. The car isnt more or less a car, it is more of a figure of speech saying that
someday I need to stop babying him so much and that I need to teach him how to look out
for himself in the real world, and what the difference is between right and wrong. At the
time, I think he felt like he was being treated like a child and he thought this was the only
way he could act out and get his point across. He told me that this is the only way that the
thought that our parents would stop treating him like a child so much and possibly give him
 17

more responsibilities and help him grow to be a better person. The car represented how
much my brother needs me in a way. He wants to grow up but there is also a need for some
room to grow up. The car just represents the process of growing up and becoming older
and how you need to let the baby bird out of the nest so that it can fly. I realized that day
that my baby brother is growing up and I need to let him fly.

My mom and dad eventually let him go more than I was willing to. He always seemed like
such a baby to me and it made me sad that they were letting him grow up so quickly even
though I still looked at him as super little. I am a sibling so shouldnt I be the one who is
more willing to watch him grow up? They let him stay home alone from the age of 10 and
tried to teach him how to be an adult as soon as it was possible. I think this was because he
is also the second child and they had already parented me so they felt as though they did
not need to be as strict on him as they were on me. I felt as though since I was always
treated as super protected and felt like I was being hovered on that he should have been
felt the same way that I felt, but instead he was able to ride in the front seat at a way
younger age than I was allowed (yes, I was annoyed). At the time, I just felt like I had to take
responsibility to be a parent figure because my parents were giving him more leniency
than they gave me. Even though I did not like the parenting style my parents had a the time,
they were smart to let him make his own mistakes at such a young age because it made him
realize what the difference between right and wrong was and it taught him many lessons
that he might not have gotten to experience if they treated him like a baby.

When I heard the garage open I wasnt even thinking anything of it. I was only thinking
about myself at the time. I had just though it had been my parents coming home because
maybe they had forgotten something. Not once did it ever cross my mind that it was my
baby, 12-year-old, brother taking off in a car. The thing though, is that the car has so many
updated features that thank goodness kept him from crashing and soon he was back safe at
home because in reality, most kids who take out a car at that age, do not come back alive,
either by a car crash, or maybe just their parents even being very mad.

Capital Letters:
We use capital letters usually to express something that is super dramatic or exciting, or
maybe even to get a point across. Capital letters are defined in Urban Dictionary by saying,
A very annoying form of typing in which the individual will type in only Caps. It can be
used to express an emotion such a yelling or excitement. But what if 15 years from now,
capital letters are just a norm and its what everyone starts to use? It doesnt show
emphasis or distraught anymore, it is just another way to send a normal text. I have also
heard from some of my moms coworkers that they email in all caps because it is also easier
to not have to worry about what needs to be capitalized and it is just an easier way to type
without having to worry about the grammar aspect of it. This might be out of pure laziness
but it also might be a sign of a new change that we are portraying upon us. If we start to use
capital letters just to show the norm of our society then what will replace what capital
 18

letters display now? Will lowercase letters change their meanings too, to portray that they
possibly describe sadness?

If exclamation points are already starting to change their meaning in the last 10 years then
why cant a capital letter too? Exclamation points which is pointed out in McWhorter are
now losing the meaning of emphasis that they used to have. One exclamation point used to
provide a meaning of excitement or anger that now are shown through capital letters
because they have lost a portion of their meaning. I believe that capital letters will change
their meaning and I think that if any type of grammar is going to change in the next 15 years
it will be the capital letter because so many people already use it to show emotion, that if
we keep using it this way, then it will slowly turn into something that becomes a norm. The
norm will be that there will be another way to show emotion, such as lowercase letters
showing sadness and maybe then exclamation points will turn back to what they were
originally meant to be used as.
Standardized Tests:

Standardized tests have also been portrayed as so you think that they can make or break
your college career, which yes, might be partially true. You might have had great grades
throughout high school but if you dont make a 30 on that ACT you arent headed to your
dream college. You could be number one in your class and make a 22 on your SAT and make
it into Harvard but for some colleges, you might need a 30 to get in, no matter what your
high school grades are. I dont think that an ACT or SAT score should define whether a
person should be able to get into the college they want. Some people just arent very good
at taking tests, why should that deny them the right to college of their dreams? Just
because you didnt do awesome on a test that puts so much pressure on you, why should
you be denied? I have never been the best at tests and I have struggled since elementary
school because I have anxiety about taking these big tests. What if Im not good enough?
Will, I ever get the grade I want?

I personally have had some pretty bad experiences with taking test like these. In high
school, I never got the score that I wanted on the ACT and I always defined myself by that
number and I still do. I sometimes think about what if I had just pushed myself a little
harder, would I have gotten more money in scholarships? Could I be going to a school that
is known to be more prestigious?? Throughout high school I studied so much that all I
focused on was getting the score that my parents defined as the best. I never got to
experience high school in a way most kids did because I was mainly focused on getting the
best possible score that I could on the ACT. Every time I went into that classroom I had a
mild panic attack while thinking of my moms voice in my head saying, If you dont get a 32
on this, you will never be good enough. You will never get into the colleges that you want.
It honestly still haunts me to this day. I believe that standardized tests are just a way for
kids to have more pressure put on them so that they continue to stress out. I think that it
 19

does indicate how good a student is a test taking but I think that it should not define what
kind of college experience you are able to get.

Stars Aligning: My Church Experience (This one is still a work in progress)

Back in the sixth grade I had a friend named Caitlin that I had cheered with for many years.
She made me realize my first moment where the stars had aligned for me. We had been
planning to hang out at her house one Saturday and were planning to have a sleepover. She
had not told me that we were going to go to church the next day because she knew that I
would not have gone. I had previously experienced church at a Catholic Church and it had
not gone very well. It was a very bad experience for me so I decided that I was not going to
go back anymore and that I was planning on never going back to church every again. We
had a great night and the next morning when she woke me up for church, I pitched a fit. I
was not planning on going and I tried every single way to get out of going. (continue
story)

This new experience really shaped me as a person and helped me understand who I am
better as a person. The experience started off as a sleepover but then changed me and
helped me discover who I am as a Christian. If I had never experienced this type of joy with
her and if she has never forced me into church that day I would never have found my
forever home in Woodstock City Church. I would have never found out about who I wanted
to be and how I want to be a missionary now. I would have never experienced all the joy
and hopefulness that comes along with it, and I would have especially never made the
awesome friends I have now.

Writing Prompts In class-

These writing prompts we used in class started some of my essays that I would use in my e-
portfolio. I started to expand on the prompt about capital letters and on standardized tests. I
started to write more about both, but only ended up using standardized tests in my e-portfolio.

September 7, 2017
Relating back to what McWhorter said about exclamation points, if you could take something
that is exceptional today, that could be casual in the future, what would it be and why?

We use capital letters usually to express something that is super dramatic or exciting, or maybe
even to get a point across. But what if 15 years from now, capital letters are just a norm and its
what everyone starts to use? It doesnt show emphasis or distraught anymore, it is just another
way to send a normal text. If we start to use capital letters just to show the norm of our society
then what will replace what capital letters display now? Will lowercase letters change their
meanings too, to portray that they possibly describe sadness? If exclamation points are already
starting to change their meaning in the last 10 years then why cant a capital letter too? I think
that if any type of grammar is going to change in the next 15 years it will be the capital letter
 20

because so many people already use it to show emotion, that if we keep using it this way, then
it will slowly turn into something that becomes a normal circumstance.

September 14, 2017

How do YOU personally feel about Standardized Tests? Is there one in particular that you
struggled on? What kind of damage or benefits could they have? Try to implement some of
the logic writing that Lunsford teaches to support your argument

Standardized tests can make or break your college career. You might have had great grades
throughout high school but if you dont make a 30 on that ACT you arent headed to your
dream college. You could be number one in your class and make a 22 on your SAT and make it
into Harvard but for some colleges, you might need a 30 to get in, no matter what your high
school grades are. I dont think that an ACT or SAT score should define whether a person should
be able to get into the college they want. Some people just arent very good at taking tests, why
should that deny them the right to college of their dreams? Just because you didnt do
awesome on a test that puts so much pressure on you, why should you be denied? I have never
been the best at tests and I have struggled since elementary school because I have anxiety
about taking these big tests. What if Im not good enough? Will I ever get the grade I want?

September 28, 2017

Using Rogerian argument, write to try to convince your parents why they should allow you to
do or get something

I believe that I should be allowed to have more freedom while living with my parents because
sometimes I feel as though I am still babied even though I am in college. I understand that I am
my parents child and they have raised me all my life, but I think that they need to understand
that I am growing up. I believe that the problem could be solved by my parents and I slowly
starting to let me do things that they would sometimes be hesitant about. Maybe we can start
by them having more faith in me to do my homework and get things done on my own, which I
have proved that I am capable of, and then they will not have to check up on me so much. If we
started slowly and then progressively move to bigger decisions, then me and my parents will
both feel more comfortable about the change that is happening in our life. You might be
thinking about how I am still a child, but I feel that I should start preparing myself for when I am
going to move out so that it is not such a dramatic change for me and my parents. These
changes now will help be better prepare for what is going to come in the future. If my parents
went through with this agreement I would absolutely make sure that I am being responsible
with my actions and that I will never give them a reason to doubt my abilities in what I am
doing.

Revised Helping on 9/28

 21

This editing was during class and I read through the start of my paper, and started editing and
highlighting ideas where I could improve and expand my work. We talked about narrow subject
and bigger picture and I eventually used those ideas in my final edit to really describe how I felt
throughout this experience with my brother.

Helping:
( Add description about my brother ) I always choose to help my brother, he has been my best
friend throughout my entire life even though we sometimes disagree. Usually we are on the
same side as each other but sometimes we tend to fight against rather than together. Add
relationship with him I remember in particular a specific time he needed help and I tended to
try and protect him from the bad in the world, even though he had already discovered it.
Around the age of 12, he decided that he was going to take my car out and drive it around the
neighborhood when my parents were not home. I had no idea what was going on because I had
been upstairs at the time and at the age he was I did not think he needed to be watched over
every second (I was clearly wrong). As soon as I came downstairs, I noticed he had been gone
and that my car was missing. So, what was my first thing I thought? Holy Crap my brother took
the car. Even though he is young, maybe he wasnt dumb enough to drive a car around at that
age. I called him and no answer. MORE DETAIL HERE I did find him though when he ran up
inside asking me to pull the car into the garage so that he did not get in trouble with the
neighbors that saw him outside. He knew he was in trouble when he asked me for that and if I
had not, well, he would possibly be in trouble with the law.

That day I realized that him taking out that car really described what happens when you grow
up. The car isnt more or less a car, it is more of a figure of speech saying that someday I need
to stop babying him so much and that I need to teach him how to look out for himself in the
real world, and what the difference is between right and wrong. He felt at the time that he was
getting treated like a child so much and in such a strong way that he needed to go out of his
way to show that he was capable of doing things on his own. The car just represents the
process of growing up and becoming older and how you need to let the baby bird out of the
nest so that it can fly. I realized that day that my baby brother is growing up and I need to let
him fly.

My mom and dad had both let him go earlier than I was willing to even though I was just a
sibling. They let him stay home alone from the age of 10 and tried to teach him how to be an
adult as soon as it was possible. I felt as though since I was always treated as a child because I
am the first born, that he didnt need to do the same things I was doing, just at a younger age.
He got to ride in the front seat because at the age of 8 when I was 12 just because it was unfair
if they did not let both of us. At that age, I just felt like I had to take responsibility to be a
parent figure and help him realize that he is just a kid and that he did still need help. My
parents were smart to let him make his own mistakes at such a young age because it made him
realize what the difference between right and wrong and good and bad is.

I heard the garage open and the car take off. I had just though it had been my parents coming
home because maybe they had forgotten something. Not once did it ever cross my mind that it
 22

was my baby, 12-year-old, brother taking off in a car. The thing though, is that the car has so
many updated features that thank goodness kept him from crashing and soon he was back safe
at home because in reality, most kids who take out a car at that age, do not come back alive,
either by a car crash, or maybe just their parents even being very mad.
Add the changes that I have been feeling- more about the bigger picture

Narrow Subject: my brother drove a car

Bigger Picture: people growing up, my feelings about things changing
Places in the essay that are pointing to a larger idea:

Is this really an essay about my brother? Or is it really about how I felt?

Even though I point out how my brother was feeling, along with my feelings, is there a
bigger picture that I am missing?
Describe more about my brother
Make the essay flow better
Is this an essay more about how I was growing up and having to accept changes?
Is this an essay more about how my life isnt always going to stay pure and that bad
things will happen?
Week 5 Revision:
This is where I started expanding on the Annie Dillard writing workshop. I started composing
the ideas from the workshop into paragraph but nothing had been edited yet. This is the start
of the Helping paper.
Helping:
I always choose to help my brother, he has been my best friend throughout my entire life even
though we sometimes disagree. Usually we are on the same side as each other but sometimes
we tend to fight against rather than together. I remember in particular a specific time he
needed help and I tended to try and protect him from the bad in the world, even though he had
already discovered it. Around the age of 12, he decided that he was going to take my car out
and drive it around the neighborhood when my parents were not home. I had no idea what was
going on because I had been upstairs at the time and at the age he was I did not think he
needed to be watched over every second (I was clearly wrong). As soon as I came downstairs, I
noticed he had been gone and that my car was missing. So, what was my first thing I thought?
Holy Crap my brother took the car. Even though he is young, maybe he wasnt dumb enough to
drive a car around at that age. I called him and no answer. I did find him though when he ran up
inside asking me to pull the car into the garage so that he did not get in trouble with the
neighbors that saw him outside. He knew he was in trouble when he asked me for that and if I
had not, well, he would possibly be in trouble with the law.

That day I realized that him taking out that car really described what happens when you grow
up. The car isnt more or less a car, it is more of a figure of speech saying that someday I need
to stop babying him so much and that I need to teach him how to look out for himself in the
real world, and what the difference is between right and wrong. He felt at the time that he was
getting treated like a child so much and in such a strong way that he needed to go out of his
 23

way to show that he was capable of doing things on his own. The car just represents the
process of growing up and becoming older and how you need to let the baby bird out of the
nest so that it can fly. I realized that day that my baby brother is growing up and I need to let
him fly.

My mom and dad had both let him go earlier than I was willing to even though I was just a
sibling. They let him stay home alone from the age of 10 and tried to teach him how to be an
adult as soon as it was possible. I felt as though since I was always treated as a child because I
am the first born, that he didnt need to do the same things I was doing, just at a younger age.
He got to ride in the front seat because at the age of 8 when I was 12 just because it was unfair
if they did not let both of us. At that age, I just felt like I had to take responsibility to be a
parent figure and help him realize that he is just a kid and that he did still need help. My
parents were smart to let him make his own mistakes at such a young age because it made him
realize what the difference between right and wrong and good and bad is.

I heard the garage open and the car take off. I had just though it had been my parents coming
home because maybe they had forgotten something. Not once did it ever cross my mind that it
was my baby, 12-year-old, brother taking off in a car. The thing though, is that the car has so
many updated features that thank goodness kept him from crashing and soon he was back safe
at home because in reality, most kids who take out a car at that age, do not come back alive,
either by a car crash, or maybe just their parents even being very mad.

Annie Dillard Writing Workshop 9/14

This workshop is when I started my ideas for my paper, Helping. This workshop started the
basis of this paper before I was able to start expanding on my ideas and editing my paper.

Writing Workshop: Dillards Seeing

List of -ING I could write about:

1. Cheering
2. Cooking
3. Churching
4. Lacrossing
5. Highschooling
6. Moving
7. Beaching
8. Helping (Lighthouse)
9. Breaking
10. Sistering

Helping:
 24

What is a childhood memory?

I always chose to help my brother throughout my whole life, he has been my best friend
throughout my entire life even though we sometimes disagree. Usually we are on the same side
as each other but sometimes we tend to fight against rather than together. I remember in
particular a specific time he needed help and I tended to try and protect him from the bad in
the world, even though he had already discovered it. Around the age of 12, he decided that he
was going to take my car out and drive it around the neighborhood when my parents were not
home. I had no idea what was going on because I had been upstairs at the time and at the age
he was I did not think he needed to be watched over every second (I was clearly wrong). As
soon as I came downstairs, I noticed he had been gone and that my car was missing. So, what
was my first thing I thought? Holy Crap my brother took the car.
What object in the memory can become a metaphor? How does that connect to the to/show
the ing topic?
That day I realized that him taking out that car really described what happens when you grow
up. The car isnt more or less a car, it is more of a figure of speech saying that someday I need
to stop babying him so much and that I need to teach him how to look out for himself in the
real world, and what the difference is between right and wrong. He felt at the time that he was
getting treated like a child so much and in such a strong way that he needed to go out of his
way to show that he was capable of doing things on his own. The car just represents the
process of growing up and becoming older and how you need to let the baby bird out of the
nest so that it can fly. I realized that day that my baby brother is growing up and I need to let
him fly.
When is a time someone else did the action better than you?
My mom and dad had both let him go earlier than I was willing to even though I was just a
sibling. They let him stay home alone from the age of 10 and tried to teach him how to be an
adult as soon as it was possible. I felt as though since I was always treated as a child because I
am the first born, that he didnt need to do the same things I was doing, just at a younger age.
He got to ride in the front seat because at the age of 8 when I was 12 just because it was unfair
if they did not let both of us. At that age, I just felt like I had to take responsibility to be a
parent figure and help him realize that he is just a kid and that he did still need help. My
parents were smart to let him make his own mistakes at such a young age because it made him
realize what the difference between right and wrong and good and bad is.
What is a scientific or technical fact about the action?
I heard the garage open and the car take off. I had just though it had been my parents coming
home because maybe they had forgotten something. Not once did it ever cross my mind that it
was my baby, 12-year-old, brother taking off in a car. The thing though, is that the car has so
many updated features that thank goodness kept him from crashing and soon he was back safe
at home because in reality, most kids who take out a car at that age, do not come back alive,
either by a car crash, or maybe just their parents even being very mad.