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CaramelBoost
Dedication: To Billy (for her awsome Fred and George fic that
inspired me to write this), Shay (Because she makes me laugh and
is seeing me through my current Harry Potter craze) and Camilla
(for giving me that slimming vegetable costume! ;P)
150 Things I am Not Allowed to Do in Hogwarts
By CaramelBoost
Buggar it all to hell and back. Mum came up with another one of
her I shudder to say it lists. And this time, it has gone too far!
This time It has to do with us. Me and my brother; George. Or, as
Hermione or Percy would aptly put it, 'my brother and I'. And before
you ask, yes I do know what the word aptly means! I'm not as
stupid as you look, no offence meant, mates.
Sure, we like to have our fun, but a hundred and fifty? Someone
must really have it out for us. So about this 'list' of Mum's
normally her lists are joyful things like our chores, or 'Horrible
Things that will happen to You if you don't DeGnome the garden in
one hour'. You know; fun things. This time Mum made it about the
things that George and I aren't allowed to do in Hogwarts one
hundred and fifty things to be precise.
Oh, of course you'd want to know what we're not allowed to do. -
narrows eyes- you just want to laugh at us, don't you? Well fine. Far
be it from me to deprive people of laughter. (See how nice I am?
Honestly, this is what I'm talking about!) Here it is the list! Of
Doom! Sorry, I just can't resist these things
By Molly Weasely
20- Just because she morphs into a female animal does not make
her my "bitch".
35- I am not allowed to ask First Years if they need help 'polishing
their wand'. No matter how funny their reactions are.
38- Nor is my brother dead. I may not tell them that either.
39- The portrait of the Fat Lady is not called 'Piggy'. I may not call
her that. Nor may I encourage her to diet.
48- There is no such thing as the 'Ugly Disease'. I may not tell
people that they have it.
51- Mike Rotch has heard every possible joke about his name; I
may not repeat them.
59- I am not allowed to lick people just for the fun of it.
64- Nor may I tell him that I want to have his babies.
65- I may not repeat that to any member of staff. I must remember
that I'm male it's genetically impossible for me to have anyone's
babies.
68- Just because I have a shiny hat does not make me Merlin.
69- No one cares about the fact that I think I'm Merlin.
71- Millicent Bulstrode is not a man; I may not tell her she looks
like one.
72- I may not tell people that if they anger me I will eat their first
born child.
73- I may not steal Professor Trelawny's glasses just because I like
them.
77- I may not step on the head's of First Years due to the fact that
they're shorter than I am.
78- I am not allowed to "inform" people that they have cancer and
will promptly die in four days.
89- Hugging the wrong end of a Blast Ended Skrewt is a bad idea. I
may not do so.
90- Ron is not Hermione's pimp. I may not tell everyone that he is.
99- I may not burst into tears every time someone smiles at me.
107- I may not steal the bludgers and release them during Potions
class.
110- I am not allowed to inform Remus that his last name rhymes
with "poopin'".
120- I may not steal Collin's camera and use it to take nude
pictures of myself.
130- Rita Skeeter in her animagus form will not make a good pet. I
may not keep her.
131- I may not throw a wild, raucous party the day before an exam.
133- I may not tell Luna that she belongs in a phsyc ward. No
matter how crazy I think she is.
139-Draco Malfoy is not Harry Potter's illicit lover. I may not tell
people he is.
142- I am not allowed to tell people that I'm "The Fredinator" and
that my brother is "The Georgetor".
147- I may not wonder aloud why Myrtle looks so pale today when I
know she's in the room.
150- I may not claim that Snape is Dumbledore's bitch. Nor may I
allude to any threesome of sorts between them and Voldemort.
And so now you know exactly what our punishment entails well,
we have two: this one, and the other is that we are permanently the
garden DeGnomers until we die. This list just sucks the fun out of
Hogwarts! I mean, we went to Hogwarts to cause mayhem and
perfect our pranking you didn't think we went to learn did you?
You disgust me! What kind of people do you think we are? Going to
a school to learn. Honestly, people these days No priorities what
so ever.
Like I said though, this sucks the fun out Hogwarts! This list is a
a a fun sucker! Just like Mum! You heard me, fun sucker. And the
worst part is, if we ever break any of those rules Mum will kill us.
And dance on our graves. And have you seen how badly she
dances? It really looks like she's been hexed with the Jelly Legs
Curse. I mean, honestly, is she supposed to flail her arms in an
unnatural manner? Now, call me crazy, but I think not.
This is quite long, but it's really all the list's fault. Blame it. Review
please, C'mon! Have a heart! -cheesy grin-
xXx Caramel