Figueroa 1

Oscar Figueroa

Professor Ditch

English 115

03 October 2017

Gender Conformity

In todays society people are able to freely choose what gender they choose to be, no

matter the sex they were born as. Depending on what gender one identifies as and which space

one is in, their gender performance varies because society has constructed gender to define how

people behave in certain spaces. As someone who identifies as a male, in a space where I am in

the public eye, I often behave in a masculine manner so that I can be identified as a male. If I am

in space with a familiar face and I am comfortable being myself, I behave in a way that society

defines as feminine because I am more of a gentle caring person. Even though I identify as a

male I am more of a feminine person when I am comfortable being myself because there is no

need to display masculinity to people who already see me as a man. My performance changes in

spaces where I am comfortable and where I am not because depending on my level of comfort, I

perform in a manner that is socially acceptable at that moment.

Since childhood one is taught how to behave accordingly to what society considers as

acceptable for ones gender. These teachings have led to the stereotypes society has when it

comes to gender, and it forces people to conform under their gender identity. Aaron Devor, in

the article Becoming Members of Society: The Social Meanings of Gender stated that, People

use femininity or masculinity to claim and communicate their membership in their assigned, or

chosen, sex or gender (38). He asserts that femininity and masculinity are used as a tool to

identify oneself as a man or women regardless of their actual sex. Masculinity and femininity is a
 Figueroa 2

socially constructed gender behavior that society has shaped to define how a man or women

should act. For the reason that I want to be identified as a man, in spaces where I feel the need to

present myself as a man, I behave in a more masculine demeanor. For instance, during school

when I am walking around campus I have a cold emotionless expression and I keep to myself.

By not displaying emotion or paying any attention to the people around me I am being masculine

because people who make frequent appeasement gestures, such as smiling, also give the

appearance of of femininity, according to Becoming Members of Society (Devor 41). Going

off of what Devor is stating, if I were to walk around smiling making gestures like waving my

hand to say hi, I will be seen as feminine. Instead to be viewed as a masculine individual, I

keep to myself ignoring my surroundings.

Another space where I acted in a masculine manner was at a music festival called Day N

Night, where there were mosh pits. Predominantly males were the ones in the chaotic mosh pits.

These mosh pits occurred to display the dominance and masculinity of men. Of course to show

my masculinity I jumped in the mosh pits to compete for dominance and to show my strength.

There were moments of true dominance on other males and moments of failure. The failure only

brought my adrenaline to levels that I cannot explain. A challenger presented himself in the

middle of the chaos. Standing at about 6 foot 5 inches, this man in a green Celtics jersey took on

his opponents acting as a wall that nobody could pass. He established his territory letting out

roars of dominance and made sure that everyone around knew that he was not afraid. My

masculine instincts displayed themselves as I felt the need to defeat this beast of a man. In this

space I felt the need to compete with the individuals savagery, so I would be the dominant one.

Once again according to Devor, men who display the aura of aggression, violence and daring,

are seen as masculine (42). By participating in the mosh pits and competing with other males for
 Figueroa 3

dominance I was conforming to those masculine characteristics. In both these spaces where I feel

the need to display my masculinity. I am out in the public with people I am not comfortable with,

so I display myself as masculine to be identified as a male.

When the need to behave in a masculine manner to be identified as a male is not a factor,

and I am in a space where I am comfortable being myself I tend to be more feminine. In spaces

where only friends are around, I feel more comfortable being myself because I believe my

friends are more accepting to who I am. For instance, in a space where I am with my girlfriend I

tend to be more caring, and I do anything to make her happy. In Becoming Members of

Society, it is stated, Femininity, according to the traditional formulation, would result in

warm and continued relationships with men (Devor 40). Devor is stating that it is feminine to

try and keep a healthy relationship with your partner, but here it is applying to a me, a man.

Thus, making me, a man who identifies as a male, feminine.

In other spaces, particularly when I hang out with my friends, I am comfortable and more

open to show my sensitivity. I behave in this way when I am in a space with familiar faces

because aside from being around people I am not familiar with, I dont feel the need to go out of

my way to display my masculinity and hide my emotions. Devor states that to be masculine one

has to have a degree of emotional insensitivity... (42). What this says about me is that because

I do show my sensitivity when I am in a space where I feel comfortable, I am feminine because

as a man I am not supposed to be sensitive. On the other hand when I am in a space where I am

not comfortable, I conform to that masculine characteristic of being emotionally insensitive.

Overtime I have begun to be more comfortable expressing myself as who I really am, no

matter the space I am in. By that I mean that I am not behaving accordingly to the gender

stereotypes that associate with being a man. For example my choice of clothing style is more
 Figueroa 4

androgynous because it consists of tight pants, ankles jeans, vibrant colors, and anything that I

think suits my style even if it does not go with the typical clothing choice of a man. I use my

style to express who I am and in different spaces I see that there is different perspectives of how

they perceive my choice of clothing. For instance when I am in a space with people around my

age I dont get much ridicule for not dressing like a typical man. On the other hand when I am in

a space with people that are more old fashioned like my family I get a totally different response.

I get criticisms like you look like a girl or you look gay, but that does not discourage me

from expressing who I am. I believe that I am criticized more in spaces with older family

members because according to Night to His Day, ...babies are dressed and adorned in a way

that displays category (Lorber 20). Since I was a baby they have dressed me in clothes that

are supposed to be meant for boys, but now I am dressing in a somewhat feminine manner.

Doing this bothers them because this form of dress is not acceptable because what I usually wear

does not correlate with a man should wear according to society.

Society has implemented a sort of tunnel vision to its members since birth. Teaching

people through school that everything needs to be ran a certain way and individuals need to be

viewed a certain way. For example, men have been viewed as the providers of a household and

the protection of their family, while women play the role of a nurturing and caring parent.

Depending on the space I find myself in has an affect on whether I would follow those

stereotypes or not. Being around individuals I am not familiar with gives me the urge to fill those

gender stereotypes in order to prove my gender preference. On the other hand, while I am in a

space surrounded by people who already know my gender preference I feel that I could be

myself. My experiences have brought me to the conclusion that sometimes its better to follow
 Figueroa 5

the societal gender conformity than to show who you truly are, it just depends what space you

find yourself in.

 Figueroa 6

Works Cited

Devor, Aaron. Becoming Members of Society: The Social Meaning of Gender. Composing

Gender, Bedford St. Martins, 2014, pp. 38-42

Lorber, Judith. Night to His Day: The Social Construction of Gender. Composing Gender,

St. Martin's, 2014, p.20