Maki 1

Taylor Maki

Professor Corri Ditch

English 115

6 December 2017

I am My Masculine and Feminine Self

Gender norms are a social construction built by society to clearly define men from

women. Their specific actions help define themselves as male or female and these are defined as

gender performances. Ever since I was little, Ive always loved all the girly things like dolls

and pink, birthday tea parties and of course, all the Disney princesses. I consider myself to be a

strong, independent, intelligent and a compassionate woman. Whether I perform more masculine

or feminine varies because of where I am and who I am with. In general, I perform more

masculine than feminine. This is significant because even though I do occasionally conform to

my gender norms and prescribed gender performances, I for the most part, break free form them.

My first example of this is my home life. At my home, I live with my Mother and Father

in the city of Moorpark. Once I entered junior high, my brother left for college; it was just me

and my parents. Ive gone to church all my life with my family and am still very religious by my

own choosing. My religion and upbringing has both taught me to respect my elders and

especially my parents, as in the bible the fifth commandment states Thou shalt honor thy father

and thy mother. (Exodus 20: 1-17) My parents play a very important role in my life and I look

up to them. My respect for them leads me towards a feminine performance; very quiet, always

listening to them and no disrespect. I have always been very quiet especially with my parents.

Even though a feminine performance may seem like a negative trait, respect for elders and
 Maki 2

superiors is crucial. No one likes when their authority is questioned or when respect is not given

when needed. These lessons I have learned have helped me develop into a well-rounded person.

Unfortunately, many still do not understand the importance of respecting authority and elders.

My home life does not greatly differ from my school life, however I find myself using

my voice. Still carrying that respect for my elders, superiors and teachers, and also being able to

have a confident conversation with them shows well roundedness. In Kantrowitz and Wingerts

piece, Are we Facing a Genderless Future?, they state that it is impossible for everyone on

earth to be categorized into two groups. (71) Going to an all-girls high school is what helped

me grow into my voice. Without the pressure from guys presence, I was able to make mistakes

and not care if I was wrong in my answers in class. I was able to come to school and not have my

appearance be my first priority, not getting any mans attention. With these distractions gone I

was more focused and thrived in my environment. Something I relate to this is Gloria Anzalduas

piece How to Tame a Wild Tongue, because she speaks about being a young girl and scolded

for talking back to her elders while her brother was not. It was socially acceptable for him to

speak up and question authority but she however, was considered rude, disrespectful and

unladylike. I can relate to this myself being raised by parents who did not allow me to talk back.

Therefor high school changed my perspective and boosted my confidence to who I am today. It

changed my performance from more feminine to masculine. This is important to consider

because being about to stand out and speak up is not easily taught, however it is vital in many

aspects of life such as acquiring a job.

Due to my high school education, I am outspoken and strong minded. This also effects

my work as well. When going into my interview for my current job I thoroughly impressed my

general manager. Myself, being an 18-year-old who had no work experience yet spoke like a
 Maki 3

professional and easily engaged in adult, business-like conversations. Being raised in a very

mature family and being the youngest gave me a leg up, not to mention my education. Over a

year later, today I work very well with my coworkers, especially when in a masculine leadership

position which I just recently got promoted to. I feel I work best in this now position and so far, I

love it. Starting out in the lower position, I know when Im asking for too much and I know how

it feels when the filler, now me, is stressed and allows it to get the better of them. Bad vibes

ripple throughout the whole establishment. I feel like how I handle stress at work and how I

manage the situation really shows to my managers and they always love working with me. As

said in the article Rethinking Womens Biology, it is stated that there is a social theory that

women are just too weak and over emotional to work in leadership roles or have any jobs of

importance as it would prevent us from working effectively or at all. (Hubbard 46) This is after

all, nothing but a social construct. Servers and bussers always comment how I keep everything

smooth and it feels amazing to be widely appreciated. Women should be strong in the work place

and make their presence known. A woman with a masculine work ethic in most cases will be

noticed and respected like I have.

An aspect of my life that is independent of the others is dance. It is a world all its own,

and is very significant to me. I act according to what is expected; silent, attentive, not joking and

very serious, a very feminine and demure performance. That is what my studios work ethic is,

and it demands complete respect and obedience without question. If you do not agree with their

decisions as the leaders of the studio, it is seen as rude and they will not deal with anyone

questioning their expertise. After all, they are the only ones who know their way around the Irish

dance community. The article Becoming Members of Society describes femininity as

passivity. This means my gender performance at my studio is defined as feminine, but it also
 Maki 4

helps me work more effectively with my teachers and fellow dancers, especially when prepping

for big competitions. Therefore, I always stay as focus as possible and work as hard as possible.

My dance classes are very intense and I usually find myself under a lot of pressure to perform.

We only have one boy at the studio and he is not yelled at as much, either because he is a boy

and my teacher plays favorites or he is just that good. He dances very well but it seems my

teachers has a soft stop for male dancers rather than the dozens of female dancers she has. This

seems unfair to many but I have seen this is many different forms of dance so naturally I think

nothing of it. I know men are under just as much pressure to perform well as women, but they

seem to get better treatment than girls, at least in my studio. The dance world is very sexist

depending on where you focus. In many aspects, it objectifies women by costumes, hair, make

up, even the routines are different from mens because some steps are considered masculine or

feminine.

From my observations, my overall performance is masculine. I have always assumed

myself as very feminine and only sometimes masculine. Now that I have broken down my daily

activities I realized I am stronger and more masculine than I anticipated. My work, school, and

even partially my home life is mostly dominated by masculine actions and choice of speech.

Because of this I am stronger and more independent as a person which has lead me to many

successes. Being feminine is not a bad thing, but being too feminine does not make you stand out

as a person and can restrict from your full potential. Gender performance varies depending on the

individual. To me, it is something I have learned over years of experiences and lessons not easily

learned. My successes today are from performing masculine and feminine, but also balancing the

too.
 Maki 5

Works Cited

The Holy Bible: Containing the Old and New Testaments ; Translated out of the Original

Tongues and with the Former Translations Diligently Compared and Revised. American

Bible Society, 1986.

Groner, Rachel, and John F. O'Hara. Composing Gender: a Bedford Spotlight Reader.

Bedford/St. Martin's, 2014.