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Brandon Thai

Professor Beadle

English 115

2 December 2017

Improvement

Ever since I could remember, writing has never been my strongest subject. Due to this I

have had a lot of room for improvement, and I feel as if I have greatly developed my writing

after taking this class. The three projects demonstrate how over time my writing has improved to

become more and more presentable. From Project Space, to Project Text, and finally Project

Media, my grades have only improved. These three projects have helped me grow and learn as a

writer, and overtime, assisted me in creating work that I can be proud to say is mine. Over the

course of the semester I have seen dramatic improvement in the ways I create my thesis, answer

the prompt, analyze passages, and use evidence. Along with these developments came the

enhancement of my grammar, word choice, and organization.

Project Space was the first major essay that I had to write at CSUN and is a fitting

example as to where I was when I first began college. For this paper, I received a 73% which

shows where I started at the beginning of the course. My Project Space essay was the bare

minimum of what was required of me and thus the grade reflects this. After receiving Professor

Beadles comments, I changed my paper to fit his suggestions, and after rereading, I saw major

improvement. To begin, my thesis for Project Space was very vague and was not as clear and

concise as it should have been. In my first essay the thesis was Values, fears, and morals are
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shaped by our desire for happiness, our livelihoods seemingly depend on surviving the journey

into adulthood through the university space. Which I then changed to Values, no matter what

they be, fears of inadequacy, and morals are shaped by our desire for happiness, our livelihoods

seemingly depend on surviving the journey into adulthood through the university space (Thai

1). I learned how to revise my thesis to answer all parts of the prompt while also flowing well. I

also elaborated more on the points that I made. My first draft lacked depth and evidence and after

adding some the paper was much better. This also corrected my problem of not meeting the page

limit of four, in which my original was only three.

The next major writing assignment was Project Text which revolved around the two

Godzilla films we watched, Godzilla and Shin Godzilla. Some problems my original copy faced

was that I had good ideas, but my position was unclear and lacked evidence. My first thesis was

vey long and not concise and to the point as it should be. I then changed it to The advance from

Godzilla to Shin Godzilla are definitely apparent, however, these adjustments are simply to

modernize the film and give new perspective. The monster has changed but the purpose and core

structure of Godzilla remains the same (Thai 1). Before this adjustment the thesis dragged on

forever and did not provide a clear position. In the paragraphs that follow I supported the claims

that I made in the thesis with examples and commentary. My original Project Text essay was far

from perfect and had many holes, but was a grade 10% higher than that of my Project Space

essay, which shows major improvement. After revising I found my argument was more

compelling due to the revision of the thesis and addition of stronger commentary. The addition of

these corrections added to the length and quality of the essay helping propel it past the page

limit, while adding more depth.

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The last of the three projects was Project Media, which was the project I was most

concerned for due to the incorporation of a presentation. The topic for this project was simple,

choose a Monster and relate it to a chosen issue and also explain how the interpretation of that

monster reveals about the issue. After completing Project Space and Project Text and looking

over the comments Professor Beadle on both I became more confident that I would do well on

this project. I made sure to create a clear and concise thesis, with support and explanation in the

paragraphs to come. I also prepared for my presentation by writing down the key points that I

needed to address and any other major ideas I wanted to cover. I believe my presentation went

well despite it being a little under time. My grade for the Project as a whole was an 84% which

shows improvement from the two before. Project Media was enjoyable in that it gave us as

students the opportunity to not only show off our writing, but also our presentation and public

speaking skills to others.

Over the course of the semester I feel as if I have learned a great deal about writing and

how to improve upon it. There is no such thing as a perfect paper and there is always room for

further development and corrections. The steps we took for each project greatly helped. For each

project, the three exercises in each served a unique purpose to further develop our ideas. In the

end when it came time to write an essay on the topic we had everything we needed to start, all

we needed to do was elaborate and add evidence. With each project, I saw improvement in my

thesis writing ability, use of evidence, and answering of the prompt. As the semester comes to a

close I am more confident in my writing capabilities than I have ever been. This class was one of

the more difficult courses that I have taken up to this point, and I can honestly say that it was all

worth it to see my improvement.