Sacred Self

Softness with Self

Notice when you are being hard on yourself with words or actions and agree to be softer. Add a
gentle tone to your inner-voice. When you find yourself criticizing step back and say something
encouraging. Do not engage in self-harming behaviors. Practice touching yourself gently, lovingly.
For example, softly cup your hand under your cheek or rub your tired arms. Imagine that you are
trying to soothe someone who is scared and overwhelmed; do this with touch and with your voice.

Find Positive Affirmations

One example of a technique used CBT is to make a list of affirmations. They can be your strengths,
qualities, achievements and abilities or statements that negate negative self-talk. You may then
find it helpful to read through the affirmations on a daily basis, perhaps in the morning first thing
or else at the end of the day. This can help to boost your self-esteem and help you to focus on
positive thoughts rather than being preoccupied by negative self-criticisms or negative thinking
patterns.

Create a Kind Environment

Try to spend time in the presence of people that are kind and gentle. Avoid those people who have a
tendency to be blaming, sarcastic, attacking or otherwise reinforce your negative self-assessments.
Arrange your living space to positively reflect yourself, being aware of your likes and dislikes and
respectfully acknowledging your own taste. At work or school put pictures of people that are
supportive of you on your desk, in your locker, in your notebook or in your wallet. Make plans with
yourself that are special and follow through.

Radical Self-Acceptance
Use radical acceptance and willingness as applied to all aspects of self. Remember that acceptance
does not necessarily mean approval or agreement but is simply the acknowledgement of what is.
Accepting that you are worthless, evil, or hopelessly pathological is not self-acceptance. Accepting
that you are human, that you have both failings and accomplishments in your life experiences and
that you are inherently both flawed and gifted is radical self-acceptance. Practice accepting
insights, both what you like and dont like with an open-heart. Compare your self-acceptance with
how you might accept someone else in similar circumstances. Notice when/if you dont let yourself
off the hook. Notice how you accept the flaws or facts of another persons life but not your own.
Accept yourself wholeheartedly without fear that it will make you worse.

Deeply Like Yourself

When you notice hatred or intolerance toward yourself, turn your mind to your commitment to like
yourself. Notice thoughts or feelings that interfere with you liking yourselfI dont deserve
kindness, Im unlikable by nature, I feel ashamed when I say nice things to myselfand step back
from these. Remind yourself that liking yourself is a step toward recovery and is worth working on
actively. It does not make you self-centered but will, in the long run, increase your ability to like
and help others. Consider yourself one-of-a-kind and therefore sacred.
 Self-Validation
A How-to Guide
How can I validate myself?

1. Actively listen and pay attention to yourself: Be mindful of

your thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

2. Describe your feelings without passing judgment: Wow, Im

really angry right now! or Yeah, I guess I am a little nervous.

3. Respond in a way that takes yourself seriously: Accept that it

is okay to have your emotion(s).

4. Acknowledge that the behavior or emotion make sense in your

life. Show tolerance for yourself and your emotion.

5. Do not judge your own emotion (or yourself!)

6. Use your Intrapersonal Effectiveness Skill (SACRED self).

 S. 1 thing a day I can practice to be self-soothing:
Friday Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday

A. 5 positive Affirmations I can think about or say to myself when

struggling with negative self-assessments/judgments:
1.___________________________________________________________________________________

2.___________________________________________________________________________________

3.___________________________________________________________________________________

4.___________________________________________________________________________________

5.___________________________________________________________________________________

C. 3 People in my life who are kind, gentle and supportive of my recovery:

1._________________________________

2.__________________________________

3.___________________________________

Anything I can arrange in my living space to create positivity?

_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________

R.e. Practice self-acceptance and compare with how you might accept a
friend/loved one in similar circumstances

D. Make a commitment to like yourself.

What thoughts or feelings get in the way?
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________