Untitled

by Nof il Nizamuddin

Submission date: 18-Sep-2017 10:49AM (UT C-0700)

Submission ID: 848719972
File name: Disease.docx (76.97K)
Word count: 1211
Character count: 6009
 You've made a good start on
your definition, Nofil. You've
included a helpful etymology
and a helpful graphic--good. I
also like that you tried a
partitioning technique to show
readers there are different types
of disease. If you decidegoodto start
Def Design
revise this, try adding more
on your
typically an specificity and examples oneto
illustrate and support the claims
sentence
you make, like those about
def. add
some countries havingspecificity
higher
death rates, etc. Then,by
reconsider your partitioning--I
clarifying
think you have two sets theof
information to categorize their
'abnormal
(only one is "types of disease."
condition."
Adding more specificityforand data
will help you reach theexample,
4-5 page
requirement. getting hit
by a car is
an
"abnormal
condition,"
but it
or as early as it sometimes
doesn't
does?
cause a
disease.

their
clarify, the cause is not the air--the transmission yes, but not the
cause. name them:
virus, etc.

Types

again, try not to confuse

"transmission" with "cause"

category?

through sneezing, etc.

(describe)
these diseases

You've mixed four "types" of diseases and one

"cause"
for example?

cite this sentence

such as . . .

traffic injuries are

not diseases, so
omit

use examples to clarify and support your claims

add evidence.
a
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phic
mig
ht
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Untitled
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

72
PAGE 1
/100

Text Comment. You've made a good start on your def inition, Nof il. You've included a
helpf ul etymology and a helpf ul graphic--good. I also like that you tried a partitioning technique
to show readers there are dif f erent types of disease. If you decide to revise this, try adding
more specif icity and examples to illustrate and support the claims you make, like those about
some countries having higher death rates, etc. T hen, reconsider your partitioning--I think you
have two sets of inf ormation to categorize their (only one is "types of disease." Adding more
specif icity and data will help you reach the 4-5 page requirement.

Text Comment. good start on your one sentence def . add specif icity by clarif ying the
'abnormal condition." f or example, getting hit by a car is an "abnormal condition," but it doesn't
cause a disease.

QM Def Design
Our prompt asks you to create a Wikipedia-style def inition. When we studied the conventions
of Wiki def initions, students discussed topic headings, a table of contents, helpf ul
graphics/illustrations, and a graphic on the f irst page to help introduce the term. If you decide
to revise this f or your portf olio, be sure you've included all of these conventional design
f eatures of a Wikipedia def inition.

Text Comment. typically an

Text Comment. or as early as it sometimes does?

Text Comment. their

PAGE 2
 Text Comment. clarif y, the cause is not the air--the transmission yes, but not the cause.

Text Comment. name them: virus, etc.

Text Comment. T ypes

Text Comment. again, try not to conf use "transmission" with "cause"

Text Comment. category?

Text Comment. through sneezing, etc. (describe)

Text Comment. these diseases

Text Comment. You've mixed f our "types" of diseases and one "cause"

PAGE 3

Text Comment. f or example?

Text Comment. cite this sentence

Text Comment. such as . . .

Text Comment. traf f ic injuries are not diseases, so omit

Text Comment. use examples to clarif y and support your claims

Text Comment. add evidence.

Text Comment. a graphic might help illustrate your claims

PAGE 4

PAGE 5

PAGE 6
RUBRIC: 30 1 DEFINITION RUBRIC

RHET . FOCUS Prof icient

SLO #1: Write f ormally and inf ormally, in-class and out-of -class, f or a variety of audiences and purposes.

ABSENT OR BELOW Audience's needs are of ten not recognized: terms and ideas need explanation and
BASIC language needs adjustment f or the audience. Purpose (to def ine or term or
concept)isn't clear or achieved.

DEVELOPING Shows some attention to audience's needs, sometimes def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to def ine or term or
concept) may be unclear at times, and it may not be achieved convincingly.

PROFICIENT Shows attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and ideas and using
audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to def ine or term or concept) may be
implied, but it's clear and achieved.

ADVANCED Shows sophisticated attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to def ine a term or
concept) is clear and achieved with style.

ET HIC RESRCH Developing

SLO #2: Using the appropriate majors customary citation style, ethically cite and communicate inf ormation
f rom a variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ABSENT OR BELOW Omits or uses incorrectly quotation marks and/or MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style
BASIC (number system) parenthetical citations and works cited list. Many citation errors.
Does not cite f rom a variety of discipline-appropriate sources. May be over-reliant on
a single source.

DEVELOPING A f ew errors in quotation marks, MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number system)

parenthetical citations and works cited list. May cite superf icially f rom sources. May
be over-reliant on a single source.

PROFICIENT Correctly uses quotation marks and MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number system)
parenthetical citations and works cited list. May have 1-2 citation errors. Cites f rom a
variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ADVANCED Consistently and correctly uses quotation marks and MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style
(number system) in-text (parenthetical) and end-of -text (ref erence list) citations f or
all sources, whether quoted directly or paraphrased. Cites f rom a variety of discipline-
appropriate sources. Never over-reliant on a single source.

PERS/SUPPORT Absent or
Below Basic
SLO #3: Compare, evaluate, synthesize, and communicate caref ully, objectively, and persuasively the
relative merits of alternative or opposing arguments, assumptions, and cultural values.

ABSENT OR BELOW Fails to support claims with specif ic explanations, examples, etc.. Objectivity may be
BASIC
 lacking.

DEVELOPING Attempts to support claims with explanations, examples, etc., but specif icity and/or
objectivity may be lacking.

PROFICIENT Usually supports the def inition's claims with relevant, thorough, and specif ic
explanations, examples, etc.. Usually maintains objectivity.

ADVANCED Supports the def inition's claims with relevant, thorough, and specif ic explanations,
examples, etc.. Maintains objectivity.

ORGANIZ AT ION Developing

SLO #4: Organize, f ocus, and communicate ones thoughts clearly and ef f ectively to address a rhetorical
situation.

ABSENT OR BELOW Organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical partitioning;
BASIC topic sentences, headings, transitions) may be absent, unrelated to the prompt, or
illogically connected. Ps contain multiple topics or are disorganized.

DEVELOPING Organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical partitioning;

topic sentences, headings, transitions) f it the prompt, but may be vague, too broad,
or inconsistenly or illogically linked. Ps may not be unif ied.

PROFICIENT Clear organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical

partitioning; topic sentences, headings, transitions) f it the prompt and tie ideas and
topics together adequately. Ps are usually unif ied.

ADVANCED Clear, specif ic organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical
partitioning; topic sentences, headings, transitions) f it the prompt and tie ideas and
topics together logically and seamlessly. Paragraphs are unif ied.

LANG & DESIGN Developing

SLO # 5: Recognize, evaluate, and employ the f eatures and contexts of language and design that express
and inf luence meaning and that demonstrate sensitivity to gender and cultural dif f erences.

ABSENT OR BELOW Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability. Language may
BASIC ref lect a gender or cultural bias or be too high or too low. Design may be
unconventional and inef f ective.

DEVELOPING Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors of ten impede readability or otherwise
distract f rom meaning. Style may be either too high or too low. Language may
occasionally suggest a gender or cultural bias. Design may be inconventional or
inef f ective.

PROFICIENT Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors are f ew and do not distract f rom
meaning. Middle-level-style. Language respects gender and cultural dif f erences.
Design is conventional and ef f ective.

ADVANCED Outstanding control of language, with middle-level style, including ef f ective diction
and sentence variety. Language respects gender and cultural dif f erences. Design is
 conventional and ef f ective.

COLLABORAT ION
SLO 6: Improve ones own and others writing skills through the assessment and critique of written works.

ABSENT OR BELOW No ef f ort appears to have been made to unif y the def inition's style and substance. It
BASIC looks like multiple writers pasted their work together.

DEVELOPING Some ef f ort to unif y the def inition's style and substance is evident, although it is
clear that multiple people composed it.

PROFICIENT Def inition's style and substance are usually unif ied. It usually appears as though one
writer composed it.

ADVANCED Def inition's style and substance are unif ied. It appears as though one writer
composed it.
Untitled
ORIGINALITY REPORT

4 %
SIMILARIT Y INDEX
3%
INT ERNET SOURCES
1%
PUBLICAT IONS
1%
ST UDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

1
www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov
Int ernet Source 2%
2
Submitted to City University
St udent Paper 1%
3
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
Int ernet Source 1%

Exclude quotes On Exclude matches Of f

Exclude bibliography On