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Sean Hankerson

Professor Cassel

College English and Writing

8 December 2017

Abusive Relationships

Today around the world exists a plethora amount of problems that need to be faced. One

of those problems that is going to be addressed today is the topic of abusive relationships.

Although one might say that abusive relationships have declined over the past decade, it is still

way too common and the reasons behind why they still exist vary person to person and can fall

under different and effective reasoning. According to Baholo, almost half of all men and women

will receive physical aggression at some point in their life.These kind of relationships exist all

across the globe, but everyone deserves to live in a peaceful environment without having to

encounter any kind of hurtful acts of domestic violence.

Defining domestic violence can be as simple as abusing or physically harming someone

in some type of relationship. Whether it be throwing objects, pulling hair, pushing, pinching,

biting, slapping, beating, choking, or backing someone into a wall, all of these examples fall

under physical abuse. Although Domestic violence is more common in dating relationships such

as boyfriend/girlfriend, it can also exist through a family member. It occurs in both heterosexual

and homosexual relationships. Not only does it occur in different relationships such as

husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, it can also happen with sexually active partners. Baholo also

shows around 10% of women will experience rape in their lifetime. Women increase sexual

problems including sexually transmitted diseases that experience intimate partner violence.
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Approximately 25% of women and 14% of men will receive some form of severe physical

violence from their partner. Domestic Violence is also present in all different races and origins,

some more than others. 18% of Asian Pacific Islander, 34% of Hispanic Women, 37% of White

Women, 45% of Black Women, and 48% of American Indian/ Alaska Native Women encounter

sexual or physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner at some point in life. Two-

fifth of lesbian women, three-fifth of bisexual women, and a third of heterosexual women

encounter the following types above. In men who encounter the following types above as well, a

fourth of the men are gay, a third are bisexual, and nearly a third are heterosexual. Domestic

violence occurs in all shapes and sizes. It does not matter what the case or example is, domestic

violence can potentially occur at any given setting and with anyone. Statistics and percentages

effectively expresses the commonality of existing abusive relationships.

Not one exact reason can fall under why victims that do not leave their abusive partners.

There are numerous different reasons behind this depending on who the person is. Both Baholo

and the National Domestic Violence Hotline share four distinct reasons why abusive

relationships continue to exist, the separate reasons include Conflicting Emotions, Pressure,

Distrust of Adults or Authority, and Reliance On The Abusive Power. The four categories

contain numerous and effective explanations for why one might stay in an abusive relationship.

Conflicting Emotions is one of the primary reasons for why abusive relationships exist.

Fear and believing that abuse fall under the Conflicting Emotions. The victim can be extremely

paranoid of thinking the outcome of leaving the relationship and do not feel safe at all if they

were to leave the relationship. It can be very difficult for the victim to open up with intimate

partner violence and take advantage of resources that may help a victim with their situation.

Additionally, two other reasons for Conflicting Emotions are low self-esteem and love. If one
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has very low self-esteem, they might feel that the abusive relationship is their fault and they will

not be able to find anyone better than their abuser. One that loves their abuser have hope that one

day the abuse will finally end. The person does not want the relationship to end, but want their

abuser to terminate their abusing behavior.

The second category for existing abusive relationships is Pressure. Social and Cultural

Reasoning are a part of the meaning behind Pressure. If the abuser is popular and likeable, one

might feel afraid that they will take side of the abuser or will not believe anything that he or she

may say. Sometimes, one may fear of what the rest of society thinks towards their victim. For

instance, it is more uncommon for men to be abused by women, so a man being abused by a

woman may have a lot of shame and fear to open up with someone. Pregnancy and Parenting

also play a factor in Pressure. For abusive relationships that have a child, the victim may feel that

staying in the abusive relationship is more important for the child as opposed to separating the

relationship. The abuser can blackmail the victim by either threatening to hurt the kid or having

possession of the kid after the breakup of the relationship. Furthermore, Social/Cultural

Reasoning, Pregnancy, and Parenting fall under the topic of Pressure.

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The third topic for abusive relationships is the Distrusting of Adults or Authority. Its

Just Puppy Love and the distrust of police are the first two reasons under the third topic. Often

adults do not believe in the correlation between teenagers and love. If the relationship consists of

teenagers, the victim may feel like there is no adult that will want to hear their relationship

problems. They also might feel as if anyone in general will take the status of ones relationship

as a joke and not serious at all. Also, countless younger people in this world do not feel as if the

police can help them in any way. Language Barriers and Immigration Status will also play a role

in the Distrusting of Adults or Authority. Illegal immigrants would want to take into great

consideration of the risk they might take for turning in their abusive partner if they are

undocumented. If the most common spoken language in a country is not spoken by the victim,

the victim can have extreme difficulty attempting to explain the situation to someone. Distrusting

of police, Just Puppy Love, Language Barriers, and Immigration Status are four equally

important factors of Distrusting of Adults or Authority.

Reliance On The Abusive Power is the final of the four categories being discussed.

This last topic falls under the topics of Lack Of Money, Nowhere To Go, and Disability. If the

victim is not financially stable and depends on their abusive partner financially, the victim may

think it is impossible to break up with someone they rely on financially heavy. If the person

being abused lives with the abuser, the victim may feel they will have nowhere else to stay and

potentially become homeless, so they feel that they are stuck staying with them. If someone you

know is mentally/physically attached to their abused partner, they might feel as if there could not
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be any reasoning behind leaving their partner. The victim may feel obligated to stay with their

abuser if they are mentally/physically dependent on their partner to the extreme. Victims with

high levels of esteem, dependent source of income, and internal locus of control are more than

likely to leave an abusive relationship. Many of the victims do not meet these requirements;

therefore, staying with their abused partner.

Undoubtedly, Lack Of Money, Nowhere To Go, and Disability all play a role in the last

category under Reliance on the Abusive Power. The background knowledge over domestic

violence along with statistical and factual information throughout the passage guide the reader to

understanding abusive relationships easier. As you can also tell, various different reasons all

make up for why one may stay in an abusive relationship, but all of the reasons can fall under

different cornerstones. Backed behind the National Domestic Violence Hotline, there is simply

just not one main reason as to why approximately one in four women and one in seven men

experience severe physical violence in their lifetime by their partner.Various different reasonings

make up existence of abusive/unhealthy relationships. Just because abusive relationships have

decreased in the past decade, it does not take away from the fact that they are still common and

going on while hurting countless innocent people who are in these relationships around the

world.
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Works Cited

Baholo, Masemetse, et al. "Women's Experiences Leaving Abusive Relationships: A

Shelter-Based Qualitative Study." Culture, Health & Sexuality, vol. 17, no. 5, May 2015,

pp. 638-649. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1080/13691058.2014.979881.

Domestic Violence Facts & Statistics. Safe Horizon,

www.safehorizon.org/get-informed/domestic-violence-statistics-facts/.

Why Do People Stay in Abusive Relationships? Loveisrespect.org,

www.loveisrespect.org/is-this-abuse/why-do-people-stay/.
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