Neal 1

Jamison Neal

Ms. Cook

Composition

30 November 2017

Wut He Do

The career that Ive chosen to research is psychiatrist. I picked this

profession because i know psychiatry deals with people's minds and their mental

state. They try to help people who cant help themselves and that sounds

intriguing to me. Plus, ive always wanted to learn about the human mind and

how in functions. Learning the ins and outs of the mind, learning how people

think and feel based on certain situations sounds like something I would love to

do. Another huge reason why i want to do this is because it has the potential to

save a lot of lives. If i try hard enough and put enough effort and work into my

job I can save people's lives. If my uncle had someone like I plan on being there

for him maybe he wouldn't have taken his own life.

So let's begin with what a psychiatrist does.

Psychiatrists play an important role in the treatment and recovery of

patients with mental illness and psychiatric disorders. As licensed medical

doctors, psychiatrists are qualified to diagnose mental illnesses and

prescribe medication to treat or manage a patient's symptoms. But

psychiatrists often do much more than just diagnosis and medication

 Neal 2

management. Their day-to-day schedules may vary somewhat by

employment setting and area of practice, but many psychiatrists perform

similar duties during the course of their days. (Miller)

They also have other important things they must do during a typical day. They

also must do patient rounds, patient treatments, and patient assessments.

During patient rounds the psychiatrist will check in on how each of their patients

are doing and adjust medication or treatment if need be. Patient treatments

are exactly that. Each patient will have a unique way in which you should go

about treating them. Some need medication while others need a group setting

to talk about their problems. Its up to the Doctor to find out what will be best

suitable for them. And finally we get to patient assessments. During this time the

psychiatrist will perform an assessment on the patients to determine why they

are seeking help. Let that be with a disorder such as depression, schizophrenia,

or a substance abuse problem with things like marijuana or cocaine. The job

itself is full time emergency stand by. You're always working and when youre

not working you are on standby with an emergency contact in case one of your

cases turns dire. The job itself is stressful and takes a lot of work. Most of the time

psychiatrist work in a hospital but it is common to work in a rehabilitation center.

Let's move on to the education requirements for this job. It is a medical

profession so you do have to go to med school. Med school itself is another four

years of studies and most students do not become independent physicians until

the age of 30. But before that you do have to attend regular college. During
 Neal 3

your third year you will take an exam known as the MCAT. It basically is the test

to determine if you get into med school or not. During this time you should be

studying for this test. Volunteering wherever you can. Keeping up with actual

college classes and staying active. So how much does all of this cost? Well, Commented [1]: frag

quite a lot actually. The average debt of medical students is quite large. Add

interest and you will payback almost a quarter of a million dollars! Medical

school scholarships can help you defer some of that cost. There are many

sources of money for medical school scholarships and finding all of those

sources can be overwhelming (Medical School Headquarters).

So why do I want to do this? Why do I want to become a Psychiatrist and

struggle through all of the schooling and spend so much money? Well my

answer is simple. I want to help people. That is what i want to do with my life. I

feel like that's my purpose and its what im supposed to do. Even if being a

psychiatrist is not what's meant for me i will end up with a profession that helps

people. A lot of that want to help stems from how i was raised but it also comes

from my late aforementioned Uncle Jim. He was a huge role model for me when

I was growing up. This fun energetic guy who everyone loved and looked up to.

My family always says that they see him in me. He was so out there and

eccentric. But no one knew what he was struggling with day to day. We still

dont know why he took his own life. No one was there for him. And I know that

there are millions of people out there, just like my uncle, that are suffering alone
 Neal 4

and scared. I want to be there for them. I want to be that person they can find

comfort in. I will help.

So my options for schooling. Right now I am highly invested into the

possibility of going to Westpoint. I will know soon if I made the cut of 2,500

students or not. If not I have a lot of backup colleges lined up such as

Morehead, OU, The Ohio State, Michigan, and like 15 other options. Most of my

options involve pre-med and one of the best in the nation is the University of

Pennsylvania which ranks fourth on Prep Scholars list. So med school is looking

like the road in which I will be traveling on.

So in conclusion I want to be a psychiatrist and I plan on going to

Westpoint. If that does not work out I have many backup plans with those

backup plans having backup plans of their own. Im nervous and scared but

excited.
 Neal 5

Works cited

The Basic Day-to-Day Schedule for a Psychiatrist. Chron.com,

work.chron.com/basic-daytoday-schedule-psychiatrist-24456.html.

Fulciniti, Francesca. SAT / ACT Prep Online Guides and Tips. The 11 Best Pre-
Med Schools to Help You Become a Doctor, blog.prepscholar.com/best-
pre-med-schools.

Pre Med 101 - Know What You Need to Get Into Medical School. The Medical
School Headquarters, medicalschoolhq.net/pre-med-101-everything-you-
need-to-know-as-a-pre-med-student/.

Rubric rating submitted on: 12/13/2017, 8:20:27 PM by danielle.cook@redstreaks.org

5 4 3 2 1 0

Introduction 5 = Fully 4= 3= 2= 1= 0 = No
W.2.a & and Demonstrat Attempted to Attempted to Attempted to attempt
Conclusion creatively ed demonstrate demonstrate demonstrate made
W.2.e demonstrate Introduction ; a couple ; a few ; several Introduction
Your score: d W.2.a errors exist errors exist errors exist W.2.a
5 Introduction -Intro Introduction Introduction Introduction -Intro
W.2.a paragraph W.2.a W.2.a W.2.a paragraph
-Intro captures the -Intro -Intro -Intro captures the
paragraph readers paragraph paragraph paragraph readers
captures the attention. captures the captures the captures the attention.
readers -A brief readers readers readers -A brief
attention. summary of attention. attention. attention. summary of
-A brief the text(s) -A brief -A brief -A brief the text(s)
summary of analyzed is summary of summary of summary of analyzed is
 Neal 6

the text(s) given to the text(s) the text(s) the text(s) given to
analyzed is anticipate analyzed is analyzed is analyzed is anticipate
given to the readers given to given to given to the readers
anticipate knowledge anticipate anticipate anticipate knowledge
the readers level--no the readers the readers the readers level--no
knowledge more than a knowledge knowledge knowledge more than a
level--no couple level--no level--no level--no couple
more than a sentences. more than a more than a more than a sentences.
couple -Intro couple couple couple -Intro
sentences. paragraph sentences. sentences. sentences. paragraph
-Intro clearly -Intro -Intro -Intro clearly
paragraph introduces paragraph paragraph paragraph introduces
clearly the thesis clearly clearly clearly the thesis
introduces and topic of introduces introduces introduces and topic of
the thesis the body the thesis the thesis the thesis the body
and topic of paragraphs and topic of and topic of and topic of paragraphs
the body that are the body the body the body that are
paragraphs clear, paragraphs paragraphs paragraphs clear,
that are sophisticate that are that are that are sophisticate
clear, d, and clear, clear, clear, d, and
sophisticate insightful. sophisticate sophisticate sophisticate insightful.
d, and Conclusion d, and d, and d, and Conclusion
insightful. W.2.e insightful. insightful. insightful. W.2.e
Conclusion -Conclusion Conclusion Conclusion Conclusion -Conclusion
W.2.e restates W.2.e W.2.e W.2.e restates
-Conclusion thesis, -Conclusion -Conclusion -Conclusion thesis,
restates reviews the restates restates restates reviews the
thesis, topics/claim thesis, thesis, thesis, topics/claim
reviews the s in the body reviews the reviews the reviews the s in the body
topics/claim of the essay, topics/claim topics/claim topics/claim of the essay,
s in the body offers s in the body s in the body s in the body offers
of the essay, closure and of the essay, of the essay, of the essay, closure and
offers answers the offers offers offers answers the
closure and So What? closure and closure and closure and So What?
answers the question. answers the answers the answers the question.
So What? So What? So What? So What?
question. question. question. question.

Body W.2.b 5 = Fully 4= 3= 2= 1= 0 = No

Your score: and Demonstrat Attempted to Attempted to Attempted to attempt
4 creatively ed demonstrate demonstrate demonstrate made
demonstrate Body W.2.b ; a couple ; a few ; several Body W.2.b
d -Each body errors exist errors exist errors exist -Each body
Body W.2.b paragraph Body W.2.b Body W.2.b Body W.2.b paragraph
-Each body begins with -Each body -Each body -Each body begins with
paragraph a clear, paragraph paragraph paragraph a clear,
begins with sophisticate begins with begins with begins with sophisticate
 Neal 7

a clear, d, insightful a clear, a clear, a clear, d, insightful

sophisticate topic sophisticate sophisticate sophisticate topic
d, insightful sentence. d, insightful d, insightful d, insightful sentence.
topic -Claims, topic topic topic -Claims,
sentence. reasons, sentence. sentence. sentence. reasons,
-Claims, and -Claims, -Claims, -Claims, and
reasons, evidence reasons, reasons, reasons, evidence
and are and and and are
evidence effectively evidence evidence evidence effectively
are structured are are are structured
effectively and effectively effectively effectively and
structured organized in structured structured structured organized in
and a logical and and and a logical
organized in sequence organized in organized in organized in sequence
a logical with a logical a logical a logical with
sequence effective sequence sequence sequence effective
with transitions. with with with transitions.
effective -The effective effective effective -The
transitions. significance transitions. transitions. transitions. significance
-The of the claims -The -The -The of the claims
significance is clearly significance significance significance is clearly
of the claims established of the claims of the claims of the claims established
is clearly for the is clearly is clearly is clearly for the
established audience established established established audience
for the throughout for the for the for the throughout
audience the body. audience audience audience the body.
throughout -Maintains a throughout throughout throughout -Maintains a
the body. consistent the body. the body. the body. consistent
-Maintains a focus -Maintains a -Maintains a -Maintains a focus
consistent throughout. consistent consistent consistent throughout.
focus Ideas focus focus focus Ideas
throughout. always throughout. throughout. throughout. always
Ideas related back Ideas Ideas Ideas related back
always to thesis in always always always to thesis in
related back order to related back related back related back order to
to thesis in prove the to thesis in to thesis in to thesis in prove the
order to central order to order to order to central
prove the claim. prove the prove the prove the claim.
central central central central
claim. claim. claim. claim.

Evidence & 5 = Fully 4= 3= 2= 1= 0 = No

Elaboration and Demonstrat Attempted to Attempted to Attempted to attempt
RL. 1 creatively ed demonstrate demonstrate demonstrate made
Your score: demonstrate Evidence & ; a couple ; a few ; several Evidence &
4 d Elaboration errors exist errors exist errors exist Elaboration
Evidence & RL. 1 Evidence & Evidence & Evidence & RL. 1
 Neal 8

Elaboration -Contains Elaboration Elaboration Elaboration -Contains

RL. 1 effective, RL. 1 RL. 1 RL. 1 effective,
-Contains specific, -Contains -Contains -Contains specific,
effective, relevant effective, effective, effective, relevant
specific, examples specific, specific, specific, examples
relevant and details relevant relevant relevant and details
examples to back up examples examples examples to back up
and details major claims and details and details and details major claims
to back up in each body to back up to back up to back up in each body
major claims paragraph major claims major claims major claims paragraph
in each body and the in each body in each body in each body and the
paragraph thesis. paragraph paragraph paragraph thesis.
and the -Clear and the and the and the -Clear
thesis. reflection on thesis. thesis. thesis. reflection on
-Clear the evidence -Clear -Clear -Clear the evidence
reflection on is reflection on reflection on reflection on is
the evidence referenced the evidence the evidence the evidence referenced
is from the text is is is from the text
referenced and referenced referenced referenced and
from the text thoroughly from the text from the text from the text thoroughly
and and clearly and and and and clearly
thoroughly explained to thoroughly thoroughly thoroughly explained to
and clearly the and clearly and clearly and clearly the
explained to audience. explained to explained to explained to audience.
the - the the the -
audience. Demonstrat audience. audience. audience. Demonstrat
- es - - - es
Demonstrat thoughtful Demonstrat Demonstrat Demonstrat thoughtful
es consideratio es es es consideratio
thoughtful n of the task thoughtful thoughtful thoughtful n of the task
consideratio and consideratio consideratio consideratio and
n of the task thoroughly n of the task n of the task n of the task thoroughly
and answers the and and and answers the
thoroughly prompt. thoroughly thoroughly thoroughly prompt.
answers the answers the answers the answers the
prompt. prompt. prompt. prompt.

Mechanics, 5 = Fully 4= 3= 2= 1= 0 = No
Usage & and Demonstrat Attempted to Attempted to Attempted to attempt
Style creatively ed demonstrate demonstrate demonstrate made
W.2.c,d & L. demonstrate Mechanics, ; a couple ; a few ; several Mechanics,
1&2 d Usage & errors exist errors exist errors exist Usage &
Your score: Mechanics, Style Mechanics, Mechanics, Mechanics, Style
4.5 Usage & W.2.c,d & L. Usage & Usage & Usage & W.2.c,d & L.
Style 1&2 Style Style Style 1&2
W.2.c,d & L. -Sentence W.2.c,d & L. W.2.c,d & L. W.2.c,d & L. -Sentence
1&2 variety and 1&2 1&2 1&2 variety and
 Neal 9

-Sentence word choice -Sentence -Sentence -Sentence word choice

variety and is effective variety and variety and variety and is effective
word choice and word choice word choice word choice and
is effective sophisticate is effective is effective is effective sophisticate
and d. and and and d.
sophisticate -A formal sophisticate sophisticate sophisticate -A formal
d. style and d. d. d. style and
-A formal objective -A formal -A formal -A formal objective
style and tone is style and style and style and tone is
objective established objective objective objective established
tone is and tone is tone is tone is and
established maintained established established established maintained
and & and and and &
maintained -Writing is maintained maintained maintained -Writing is
& clear, & & & clear,
-Writing is concise, and -Writing is -Writing is -Writing is concise, and
clear, strong. clear, clear, clear, strong.
concise, and -Sentences concise, and concise, and concise, and -Sentences
strong. demonstrate strong. strong. strong. demonstrate
-Sentences correct -Sentences -Sentences -Sentences correct
demonstrate usage, demonstrate demonstrate demonstrate usage,
correct punctuation, correct correct correct punctuation,
usage, capitalizatio usage, usage, usage, capitalizatio
punctuation, n, and punctuation, punctuation, punctuation, n, and
capitalizatio spelling. capitalizatio capitalizatio capitalizatio spelling.
n, and n, and n, and n, and
spelling. spelling. spelling. spelling.

MLA Format 5 = Fully 4= 3= 2= 1= 0 = No

W.8 and Demonstrat Attempted to Attempted to Attempted to attempt
Your score: creatively ed demonstrate demonstrate demonstrate made
4.5 demonstrate MLA Format ; a couple ; a few ; several MLA Format
d W.8 errors exist errors exist errors exist W.8
MLA Format -Information MLA Format MLA Format MLA Format -Information
W.8 from the W.8 W.8 W.8 from the
-Information research is -Information -Information -Information research is
from the integrated from the from the from the integrated
research is into the research is research is research is into the
integrated essay integrated integrated integrated essay
into the selectively into the into the into the selectively
essay to maintain essay essay essay to maintain
selectively the flow of selectively selectively selectively the flow of
to maintain ideas and to maintain to maintain to maintain ideas and
the flow of overreliance the flow of the flow of the flow of overreliance
ideas and on the text. ideas and ideas and ideas and on the text.
overreliance -Plagiarism overreliance overreliance overreliance -Plagiarism
 Neal 10

on the text. is avoided on the text. on the text. on the text. is avoided
-Plagiarism by each -Plagiarism -Plagiarism -Plagiarism by each
is avoided quote being is avoided is avoided is avoided quote being
by each appropriatel by each by each by each appropriatel
quote being y cited using quote being quote being quote being y cited using
appropriatel in-text appropriatel appropriatel appropriatel in-text
y cited using citations. y cited using y cited using y cited using citations.
in-text -Paper is in-text in-text in-text -Paper is
citations. formatted citations. citations. citations. formatted
-Paper is according to -Paper is -Paper is -Paper is according to
formatted MLA formatted formatted formatted MLA
according to guidelines according to according to according to guidelines
MLA MLA MLA MLA
guidelines guidelines guidelines guidelines

Comments:
Total: 22/25 x 4 = 88/100

Listen to audio feedback by clicking on the link below or copying and pasting it into your address bar:
http://talkandcomment.com/p/1788bbb9ce1ecd20cd0fc59c (voice note)