Singh 1

Trisha Singh

AP Lit block 2

Mrs. Mann

27 November 2017

A Burning Desire

Children are inquisitive, and always want to get their hands on the first thing they see.

Parents have to deal with their children, fussing over them and scolding them endlessly, but must

have a balance with pleasing their temperamental children; though they usually know the

difference between right and wrong, parents sometimes have to give in to their childrens

demands. Children, once they grow old enough to understand, are able to differentiate between

their desire to want something and their parents warnings against that object of desirethey

struggle to not want certain things, even though they know it may not be that beneficial for them,

as these types of desires are usually a phase that get over quickly. George Gascoignes poem,

For That He Looked Not Upon Her, presents the speakers bitterness after his previous

relationship, and after focusing on his internal struggledesiring to leave his previous lover

while still desiring to be with her, which is similar to a childs desire for somethinghe

eventually decides to leave her forever.

The male speaker has agonizing conflicted feelingshe doesnt wish to see his previous

lover because he knows that hell be hurt again, despite the fact that he still thinks that she is

attractive. This poem is written in a Shakespearian sonnet purposefullyto juxtapose these

different feelings. This sonnet complies with all the rules of a Shakespearian sonnet: it presents a

developed situation, presenting tensions between the speakers two internal positions in the first
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3 quatrains; it presents a conclusion that amplifies the previous lines in the last couplet; and it

has an ababcdcdefefgg rhyme scheme with words that further fuels the speakers fear of getting

hurt again in a relationship. Clearly, the structure of the poem itself reveals the speakers

tensions of desiring to be with his ex-lover and desiring to leave her.

The speaker, although he believes he wants to leave the woman for good, cant help but

deny the fact that he is in love with her. In the first quatrain, the speaker says that mine eyes

take no delight in range About the gleams which on your face glow. Of course, the speaker

doesnt wish to look upon his previous lovers face again because it glows beautifully, and he

knows he doesnt want to fall in love with her again. In the second quatrain, the speaker fears

that speaking to this woman again is a trap, since he lies aloof for fear of more mishap.

These specific rhyming words, trap and mishap, further convey the speakers attitude towards the

woman, believing that she is trying to hurt him againalso because they have a negative

connotation. In the 3rd quatrain, the rhyming words flame and game, with fire and

desire contribute to the speakers attitude. The imagery of the flame, combined its rhyming

word game, signify the speakers feelings of distrust towards the woman; the word game

especially makes the speaker feel frustrated, since the woman is toying with him, which leads to

more chaos and turbulent feelings. In the last line of quatrain two, the speaker explicates his

doubt of deep deceit that ties to this quatrains metaphor of an escaped mouse that learns to no

longer go near the trustless bait. This metaphor extends this attitude towards the woman

because the speaker is compared to a mouse, an animal that always wants cheese, but learns to be

wary of baits after it has already been trapped before. In the third quatrain, there is another

metaphor, where the speaker compares himself to a fly scorched by the flame, as he was also
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hurt by the woman; The scorched fly. . . which hath scaped the flame will hardly come to play

again with fire. The fly learns to stay away from the harmful flame, and this parallels the

speakers fear of the woman hurting him emotionally. George Gascoigne included these

metaphors to highlight the speakers attraction towards the womanwho is compared as the

trustless bait and the flame to the mouse and the fly in the poemdespite him knowing that

he will be hurt again, since he is still dazzled by desire, and is blinded by what he really needs

to ignore; the speaker is urgently trying to focus on his desire to leave the woman, rather than

stay attracted to her. Indeed, the speaker feels that the woman is deceitful and hurtful, unable to

be trusted with his heart again.

The male speaker concludes battle between the troubling, polarized feelings, and decides

that based on his previous experience with her, he will never return to be with his lover again.

The speaker himself feels so much bitterness towards the woman in the couplet that he cant help

but only say that I. . . hold down my head. The woman is now frustrated herself when the

speaker notices her blazing eyes. The fiery eyes are likened to dangerous, inanimate things

previously mentioned in the poem, such as the bait and the flame. On top of masterfully creating

metaphors and vivid imagery, George Gascoigne further complexes his poem by including

alliteration at the end of each quatrain. The alliteration (such as the ds in the phrases doubt of

deep deceit and dazzled by desire, the gs in the phrase grievous is the game, and the fs in

the phrase follows fancy) serves as a subtle emphasization of the male speakers resolve to

leave his lover, after all the internal conflicting desires he experienced. The ending couplet of

Gascoignes poem relieves readers, letting them be comforted in knowing that once all the
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overwhelming emotions fade, the speaker concludes the battle between the desire to want vs the

desire to leave, strengthening his initial resolve.


Account of Revisions
Revisions I Made:
In my whole essay, I changed all the parts
where it said narrator to speaker.
In my introduction, I added a grabber and a
transition sentence between that and the
thesis.
In my thesis, I took out the part the speaker
denying to explicitly talk about their desire
to want vs the desire to leave.
I separated the 1st BP into 2 BPs.
In the middle and end of the 2nd BP, I add
more analysis and a closing sentence.
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Rationale:
It was a silly mistake; when my group started
giving feedback, everyone reminded me that
we talk about the speaker, not narrator, when
referring to poetry works.
I didnt have time to do this when during the
writing time, so I wanted it to be related to
something about the desire to want vs the
desire to love, just like how the speaker tells
himself that he really shouldnt get back with
his ex-lover, even though he considers it.
Lance told me that deny was the wrong
word, although he did get where I was trying
to go with that idea. Also, you talked about
moving the part where I talk about desire to
want vs desire to leave in the thesis, since I
really bring up that point more often; the point
about denying the the speaker is attracted to
his lover is more like a sub-claim, rather than
the actual point of the thesis.
My group said that the original version of the
1st BP felt kind of long, since it focused on
the structure of the poem, then shifted to
literary devices. This is why I felt like I
should have them separated, so that when I
analyzed more, I could have separate
paragraphs, with more content devoted to
each topic. Also, this simply made the essay
flow better.
I put more analysis of the rhyme scheme,
(since I added that the rhyme scheme of the
poem matches the rules of the Shakespearean
sonnets rhyme scheme in the 1st BP) which
allowed me to identify rhyme in the poem. I
also mentioned the rhymes from the 3rd
quatrain to show how the speaker feels that
the woman is almost playing with his feelings.

In the last BP, I took out the point where I had I had initially tried to discuss how I believed
initially talks about the woman being similar
to the flames.
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I added more analysis of those quotes from
quatrain 2, to compared the actions of a
mouse who desires a cheese and the speaker
who desires his ex-lover. Grace and Sebastian
both encouraged me to make sure I have more
analysis for my claims, so that the
evidence-analysis ratio will be more better.
Grace also mentioned that I need to ingrain
my quotes into the essay more efficiently, so
this analysis of the metaphor kind of helps in
this area (compared to how I just used the
quotes without sandwiching them properly). I
also made sure that I emphasized the point of
the metaphor, since in class you insisted that
we dont just identify the poetic devices, but
also state how it contributes to the meaning of
the poem.
I finished this all by tying it back to the thesis,
saying how the woman is deceitful. This
concluding line in the 2nd BP also leads to the
intro of my last BP.
that the woman was being compared to a
flame (in the ending couplet, the speaker
mentions her blazing eyes). My goal was to
compare the womans burning eyes to
objective things mentioned earlier in the poem
(like the bait and the flame that were
mentioned in the quatrains) to show how the
speaker may have felt that the woman was
dangerous and objectified her (to relate her to
the bait and the flame), in order to continue
the metaphor.
My group said that it was a good working
theory, but maybe I stretched it too far (the
word dehumanized wasnt really the right
word). I understood how they felt it was too
much of a stretch, so rather than expanding on
that to explain myself more properly, I
decided to just cut it out. Also, this allows me
to focus more on the 2 main BPs of the essay,
which has all the important points; this point
about objectifying the woman to relate it to a
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dangerous inanimate thing was supposed to be

like a sub-claim, so it wasnt as important as
my 1st BP.

I rearranged some parts of the paragraphs,
putting the analyzation of alliteration (which
was originally the beginning of the 2nd BP) to
where it is now at the end of the 3rd BP.
I wanted to keep the 1st BP solely for
structure, and have the 2nd and 3rd BPs be in
a chronological type of order (based on the
speaker's tensions and the resolution). In the
2nd BP, I talked about the internal conflict
itself, and how poetic devices contributed to
that. Then, in the new separate 3rd BP, I
wanted to talk about the speakers decision
not to go back to the woman, and how poetic
devices highlight the conclusion, especially
the ending couplet.

I moved the sentence about the speaker
feeling dazzled by desire to the end of the
2nd BP.
I wanted to talk about this quote, but I didnt
want to focus on it too much because then that
would be too repetitive and its already pretty
self-explanatory. Keeping Graces
recommendation in mind regarding the
sandwiching of quotes, I just used that quote
in my analysis to emphasize the point that the
speaker is being distracted by his attraction to
the woman, when he really is trying to focus
on wanting to leave her.

I moved the line about the moth and the flame
to the end of the 2nd BP.
Here, the moth and flame discussion fits along
with the overall discussion of metaphors,
which points out the speakers feelings of
being attracted to something dangerous.
This makes the essay flow better, and I also
added more analyzation to expand on this
point.

Explanation of Writers Workshop Groups Effect on the Final Draft:

This round of essays was very difficult for me, since Im so used to writing on prose
instead of poetry. My writers workshop group helped me develop my essay as much as possible.
I know you emphasized it in class, and my whole group discussed this during our meetings too,
but we talked about making sure to maintain the identification of poetic/literary devices in the
poem, while also not simply name-dropping them. Rephrasing some words and readjusting the
sentence placements really made my essay flow well, and splitting up the paragraphs effectively
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definitely made my essay more concise and developed. Grace and Sebastian reminded me that I
needed more analysis for my claims, which had to be backed up by textual evidence. This was a
very crucial point for me, as well as Lances criticism that my essay was too repetitive. It
certainly was, but like I said before, I tried to rephrase my points differently so it wouldnt seem
too repetitive. For all of my body paragraphs, I brought the ideas back to the main claim, which
are usually scattered everywhere on my first draft.
Overall, writing these poetry essays was difficult, but after getting tips, it was more easier
than I thought. Im sure that eventually I can reach the point where I can write like this on my
first draft, but I will be working on practicing that for the AP exam.