Air on G's String

The Tortoise and Achilles have just completed a tour of a porridge factory.

Achilles: You don't mind if I change the subject, do you? Tortoise: Be my guest.
Achilles: Very well, then. It concerns an obscene phone call I received a few days ago.
Tortoise: Sounds interesting.
Achilles: Yes. Well-the problem was that the caller was incoherent, at least as far as I
could tell. He shouted something over the line and then hung up-or rather, now that I
think of it, he shouted something, shouted it again, and then hung up.
Tortoise: Did you catch what that thing was?
Achilles: Well, the whole call went like this:

Myself: Hello?
Caller (shouting wildly): Yields falsehood when preceded by its quotation! Yields
falsehood when preceded by its quotation!
(Click.)

Tortoise: That is a most unusual thing to say to somebody on an obscene phone call.
Achilles: Exactly how it struck me.
Tortoise: Perhaps there was some meaning to that seeming madness.
Achilles: Perhaps.

(They enter a spacious courtyard framed by some charming three-story stone

houses. At its center stands a palm tree, and to one side is a tower. Near the
tower there is a staircase where a boy sits, talking to a young woman in a
window.)

Tortoise: Where are you taking me, Achilles?

Achilles: I would like to show you the pretty view from the top of this tower.
Tortoise: Oh, how nice.

(They approach the boy, who watches them with curiosity, then says something to
the young woman-they both chuckle. Achilles and Mr. T, instead of going up the
boy's staircase, turn left and head down a short flight of stairs which leads to a
small wooden door.)
Achilles: We can just step inside right here. Follow me.

Air on G's String 175

FIGURE 74. Above and Below, by M.C. Escher (lithograph 1947).

Air on G's String 176

 (Achilles opens the door. They enter, and begin climbing the steep helical staircase
inside the tower.)

Tortoise (puffing slightly): I'm a little out of shape for this sort of exercise,
Achilles. How much further do we have to go?
Achilles: Another few flights ... but I have an idea. Instead of walking on the top side of
these stairs, why don't you walk on the underside?
Tortoise: How do I do THAT?
Achilles: Just hold on tightly, and climb around underneath-there's room enough for you.
You'll find that the steps make just as much sense from below as from above ...
Tortoise (gingerly shifting himself about): Am I doing it right?
Achilles: You've got it!
Tortoise (his voice slightly muffled): Say-this little maneuver has got me confused.
Should I head upstairs or downstairs, now?
Achilles: Just continue heading in the same direction as you were before. On your side of
the staircase, that means go DOWN, on mine it means UP.
Tortoise: Now you're not going to tell me that I can get to the top of the tower by going
down, are you?
Achilles: I don't know, but it works ...

(And so they begin spiraling in synchrony, with A always on one side, and T
matching him on the other side. Soon they reach the end of the staircase.)

Now just undo the maneuver, Mr. T. Here-let me help you up.

(He lends an arm to the Tortoise, and hoists him back to the other side of the
stairs.)

Tortoise: Thanks. It was a little easier getting back up.

(And they step out onto the roof, overlooking the town.)

That's a lovely view, Achilles. I'm glad you brought me up here-or rather, DOWN
here.
Achilles: I figured you'd enjoy it.
Tortoise: I've been thinking about that obscene phone call. I think I understand it a little
better now.
Achilles: You do? Would you tell me about it?
Tortoise: Gladly. Do you perchance feel, as I do, that that phrase "preceded by its
quotation" has a slightly haunting quality about it?
Achilles: Slightly, yes-extremely slightly.
Tortoise: Can you imagine something preceded by its quotation?
Achilles: I guess I can conjure up an image of Chairman Mao walking into a banquet
room in which there already hangs a large banner with some of his own writing on it.
Here would be Chairman Mao, preceded by his quotation.
Tortoise: A most imaginative example. But suppose we restrict the word

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 "preceded" to the idea of precedence on a printed sheet, rather than elaborate entries
into a banquet room.
Achilles: All right. But what exactly do you mean by "quotation" here? Tortoise: When
you discuss a word or a phrase, you conventionally put it in quotes. For example, I can
say,

The word "philosopher" has five letters.

Here, I put "philosopher" in quotes to show that I am speaking about the WORD
"philosopher" rather than about a philosopher in the flesh. This is called the USE-
MENTION distinction.
Achilles: Oh?
Tortoise: Let me explain. Suppose I were to say to you,

Philosophers make lots of money.

Here, I would be USING the word to manufacture an image in your mind of a twinkle-
eyed sage with bulging moneybags. But when I put this word-or any word-in quotes, I
subtract out its meaning and connotations, and am left only with some marks on paper,
or some sounds. That is called "MENTION". Nothing about the word matters, other
than its typographical aspects-any meaning it might have is ignored.
Achilles: It reminds me of using a violin as a fly swatter. Or should I say mentioning"?
Nothing about the violin matters, other than its solidity-any meaning or function it
might have is being ignored. Come to think of it, I guess the fly is being treated that
way, too.
Tortoise: Those are sensible, if slightly unorthodox, extensions of the use-mention
distinction. But now, I want you to think about preceding something by its own
quotation.
Achilles: All right. Would this be correct?

"HUBBA" HUBBA

Tortoise: Good. Try another.

Achilles: All right.

"'PLOP' IS NOT THE TITLE OF ANY BOOK. SO FAR AS I KNOW"'

'PLOP' IS NOT THE TITLE OF ANY BOOK, SO FAR AS I KNOW.

Tortoise: Now this example can be modified into quite an interesting specimen, simply by
dropping `Plop'. Achilles: Really? Let me see what you mean. It becomes

"IS NOT THE TITLE OF ANY BOOK, SO FAR AS I KNOW"

IS NOT THE TITLE OF ANY BOOK, SO FAR AS I KNOW.

Tortoise: You see, you have made a sentence.

Achilles: So I have. It is a sentence about the pjrase “is not the toitle of any book, as far
as I know”, and quite a silly one too.
Tortoise: Why silly?

Air on G's String 178

Achilles: Because it's so pointless. Here's another one for you:
“WILL BE BOYS" WILL BE BOYS.
Now what does that mean? Honestly, what a silly game.
Tortoise: Not to my mind. It's very earnest stuff, in my opinion. In fact this operation of
preceding some phrase by its quotation is so overwhelmingly important that I think I'll
give it a name.
Achilles: You will? What name will you dignify that silly operation by?
Tortoise: I believe I'll call it "to quine a phrase", to quine a phrase.
Achilles: "Quine"? What sort of word is that?
Tortoise: A five-letter word, if I'm not in error.
Achilles: What 1 was driving at is why you picked those exact five letters in that exact
order.
Tortoise: Oh, now I understand what you meant when you asked me "What sort of word
is that?" The answer is that a philosopher by the name of "Willard Van Orman Quine"
invented the operation, so I name it in his honor. However, I cannot go any further
than this in my explanation. Why these particular five letters make up his name-not to
mention why they occur in this particular order-is a question to which I have no ready
answer. However, I'd be perfectly willing to go and
Achilles: . Please don't bother! I didn't really want to know everything about Quine's
name. Anyway, now I know how to quine a phrase. It's quite amusing. Here's a quined
phrase:
”IS A SENTENCE FRAGMENT" IS A SENTENCE FRAGMENT.
It's silly but all the same I enjoy it. You take a sentence fragment, quine
it, and lo and behold, you've made a sentence! A true sentence, in this case.
Tortoise: How about quining the phrase "is a king with without no subject”?
Achilles: A king without a subject would be---
Tortoise: -an anomaly, of course. Don't wander from the point. Let's have quines first, and
kings afterwards!
Achilles: I'm to quine that phrase, am I? All right
"IS A KING WITH NO SUBJECT" IS A KING WITH NO SUBJECT.
It seems to me that it might make more sense if it said "sentence" instead of "king".
Oh, well. Give me another!
Tortoise: All right just one more. Try this one:

"WHEN QUINED, YIELDS A TORTOISE'S LOVE SONG"

Achilles: That should be easy ... I'd say the quining gives this:
"WHEN QUINED, YIELDS A TORTOISE'S LOVE SONG"
WHEN QUINED, YIELDS A TORTOISE'S LOVE SONG

Hmmm… There´s something just a little peculiar here. Oh, I see what it is! The
sentence is talking about itself! Do you see that?

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 Tortoise: What do you mean? Sentences can't talk.
Achilles: No, but they REFER to things-and this one refers directly unambiguously-
unmistakably-to the very sentence which it is! You just have to think back and
remember what quining is all about.
Tortoise: I don't see it saying anything about itself. Where does it say "me", or: "this
sentence", or the like?
Achilles: Oh, you are being deliberately thick-skulled. The beauty of it lies in just that:
it talks about itself without having to come right out and say so!
Tortoise: Well, as I'm such a simple fellow, could you just spell it all out for me,
Achilles: Oh, he is such a Doubting Tortoise ... All right, let me see ... Suppose I make
up a sentence-I'll call it "Sentence P"-with a blank in it.
Tortoise: Such as?
Achilles: Such as ...

“________WHEN QUINED, YIELDS A TORTOISE'S LOVE SONG".

Now the subject matter of Sentence P depends on how you fill in the blank. But
once you've chosen how to fill in the blank, then the subject matter is determined: it
is the phrase which you get by QUINING the blank. Call that "Sentence Q", since it
is produced by an act of quining.
Tortoise: That makes sense. If the blank phrase were "is written on old jars of mustard
to keep them fresh", then Sentence Q would have to be

"IS WRITTEN ON OLD JARS OF MUSTARD TO KEEP THEM FRESH"

IS WRITTEN ON OLD JARS OF MUSTARD TO KEEP THEM FRESH.

Achilles: True, and Sentence P makes the claim (though whether it is valid or not, I do
not know) that Sentence Q is a Tortoise's love song. In any case, Sentence P here is
not talking about itself, but rather about Sentence Q. Can we agree on that much?
Tortoise: By all means, let us agree-and what a beautiful song it is, too.
Achilles: But now I want to make a different choice for the blank, namely

: "WHEN QUINED, YIELDS A TORTOISE'S LOVE SONG".

Tortoise: Oh, heavens, you're getting a little involved here. I hope this all isn't going to
be too highbrow for my modest mind.
Achilles: Oh, don't worry-you'll surely catch on. With this choice, Sentence Q
becomes .. .

"WHEN QUINED, YIELDS A TORTOISE'S LOVE-SONG"

WHEN QUINED, YIELDS A TORTOISE'S LOVE-SONG.

Tortoise: Oh, you wily old warrior you, I catch on. Now Sentence Q is just the same as
Sentence P.
Achilles: And since Sentence Q is always the topic of Sentence P, there is a loop now,
P points back to itself. But you see, the self-reference is a

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 sort of accident. Usually Sentences Q and P are entirely unlike each other; but with
the right choice for the blank in Sentence-P, quining will do this magic trick for
you.
Tortoise: Oh, how clever. I wonder why I never thought of that myself. Now tell me: is
the following sentence self-referential?

"IS COMPOSED OF FIVE WORDS" IS COMPOSED OF FIVE WORDS.

Achilles: Hmm ... I can't quite tell. The sentence which you just gave is not really
about itself, but rather about the phrase "is composed of five words". Though, of
course, that phrase is PART of the sentence ...
Tortoise: So the sentence refers to some part of itself-so what? Achilles: Well, wouldn't
that qualify as self-reference, too?
Tortoise: In my opinion, that is still a far cry from true-self-reference. But don't worry
too much about these tricky matters. You'll have ample time to think about them in
the future. Achilles: I will?
Tortoise: Indeed you will. But for now, why don't you try quining the phrase "yields
falsehood when preceded by its quotation"?
Achilles: I see what you're getting at-that old obscene phone call. Quining it produces
the following:

"YIELDS FALSEHOOD WHEN PRECEDED BY ITS QUOTATION"

YIELDS FALSEHOOD WHEN PRECEDED BY ITS QUOTATION.

So this is what that caller was saying! I just couldn't make out where the quotation
marks were as he spoke. That certainly is an obscene remark! People ought to be
jailed for saying things like that!
Tortoise: Why in the world?
Achilles: It just makes me very uneasy. Unlike the earlier examples, I can't quite make
out if it is a truth or a falsehood. And the more I think about it, the more I can't
unravel it. It makes my head spin. I wonder what kind of a lunatic mind would
make something like that up, and torment innocent people in the night with it?
Tortoise: I wonder ... Well, shall we go downstairs now?
Achilles: We needn't go down-we're at ground level already. Let's go back inside-you'll
see. (They go into the tower, and come to a small wooden door.) We can just step
outside right here. Follow me.
Tortoise: Are you sure? I don't want to fall three floors and break my shell.
Achilles: Would I fool you?
(And he opens the door. In front of them sits, to all appearances, the same boy,
talking to the same young woman. Achilles and Mr. T walk up what seem to be the
same stairs they walked down to enter the tower, and find themselves in what looks
like just the same courtyard they first came into.)
Thank you, Mr. T, for your lucid clarification of that obscene telephone call.
Tortoise: And thank you, Achilles, for the pleasant promenade. I hope we meet again
soon.

Air on G's String 181