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Josh Sorenson

Jackie Burr, Instructor

English 1010, section 4

November 27, 2017

The Amusement of Tall Tale Excuses

In the essay “The Dog Ate My Disk, and Other Tales of Woe” the author accounts

various excuses given by students to their teachers in hopes of receiving special treatment for

late assignments. The excuses are sorted into five categories, exploiting their predictive nature

and revealing that teachers are not as naive as students would like them to be. Carolyn Foster

Segal, assistant professor of English at Cedar Crest College, is amused by her students

imagination when it comes to fictional apologies. Professor Segal’s essay targets students and

teachers alike. Teachers empathize with the author, because they have dealt with obvious

chicanery from students. The students are selected as well, informing them of how ridiculous

excuses are viewed from an experienced educator. The article appeals to the emotions of the

selected audience through efficient structure, personal stories, and an appeal to ethos to show

how far students will go to avoid penalties for late/ and or missed assignments.

Professor Segal structures her essay around five broad categories; “the family, the best

friend, the evils of dorm life, the evils of technology, and the totally bizarre.” The categories act

as subheadings for the article. The categories mark a new section for the article, with personal

experiences in the section that support the title. Easily spotted due to their bolded font, these

subheadings provide a clear topic for the following sentences in a clear and organized way.

Subheadings that demonize college dorm life and technology among other things, capture the

reader’s attention and keep them engaged throughout the essay.

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Segal uses various stories to show the feeble excuses given due to procrastination and

laziness.. While the majority of these stories are indeed false, there are exceptions that prove

true. Segal tells a story that demonstrates this rare exception, saying, “A friend of mine in

graduate school had a student who claimed that his roommate attacked him with a hammer. That

in fact, was a true story; it came out in court when the bad roommate was tried for killing his

grandfather.” The author uses an example of a wild story that proves to be true. This appeals to

students who have legitimate reasons for being unable to complete the assignment that seem to

crazy to be true. This story also relates to teachers because a lot of them have become

desensitized to excuses from students, often taking every excuse as a lie to compensate for

laziness.

Later in the essay, Segal tells a story with a lighthearted tone.“The pennsylvania Chain

Saw Episode.” She tells the story of one of her student’s explanations for missing class. “She

walked outside to see her neighbor, who was cutting some wood. She called out to him, and he

waved back to her with the saw. Wouldn’t you know it, the safety catch wasn’t on or was

broken, and the blade flew right out of the saw and across his lawn and over her fence and across

her yard and severed a tendon in her right hand.” The story, rightfully belonging to “The Totally

Bizarre” category, paints a picture in the reader’s mind. This example supports the author’s

earlier claim in the essay that students make excuses with a “show of energy and creativity.”

Professor Segal admits she doesn’t know for sure that the story is false, relating to teachers who

don’t have a way to prove their suspicions with students. Later in the story, the student comes

class with a bandage on her left hand, opposite what she had previously said.

Professor Segal makes an appeal to the reader’s ethos by establishing credibility as an

educator. It is evident from the beginning that she has had experience in education. Although the
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knowledge of her career in education is limited, Segal casually mentions serving as an adjunct at

a private university and the ability to organize excuses into categories can be traced to her years

of experience. Segal’s credibility is strengthened as she tells the stories from a teacher’s point of

view. She explains the impossible situations she faces with the excuses of students. Continuing

to write about the common excuse involving death, Segal says, “What heartless teacher would

dare to question a student’s grief or veracity? What heartless student would lie, wishing death on

a revered family member, just to avoid a deadline?” She presents a difficult situation, allowing

the audience to sympathize with Professor Segal, acknowledging the stressful, perhaps awkward

situation.

From the beginning of the essay, the humorous tone is evident. Segal’s humorous tone

gives each story a lighthearted feel that lets the audience know that she doesn’t take these

excuses seriously. While serving as an adjunct at a private university, Segal recalls one of her

student’s excuses and offers input as well. She writes, “My best friend’s mother killed herself.”

One has to admire the cleverness here: A mysterious woman in the prime of her life has

allegedly committed suicide, and no professor can prove otherwise! And I admit I was moved,

until finally I had to point out to my students that it was amazing how the simple act of my

assigning a topic for a paper seemed to drive large numbers of otherwise happy and healthy

middle aged women to their deaths.” Despite the serious topic of death, Segal’s sarcasm helps

the reader to feel comfortable and embarrassed for the student instead of feeling pity for the

student’s “loss.” Professor Segal also uses an ironic tone, exposing the suspicious patterns in the

excuses.

Humor effectively appeals to the audience’s pathos by instigating a jovial emotional

response. Segal uses a humor with a sarcastic tone to gently joke and mock , explaining the
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beloved “Family Emergency” excuse, she says, “There was an emergency at home, and I had to

help my family.” It’s a lovely sentiment, one that conjures up images of Louisa May Alcott’s

little women rushing off with baskets of food and copies of Pilgrim’s Progress” Segal uses an

example from a classic novel to provide imagery of a perfect student, dedicated to their family.

But then uses sarcasm to pose the question “I do not understand why anyone would turn to my

most irresponsible students in times of trouble.” Students may have made similar, if not the

same, excuses to their own teachers. Segal exposes the irony, making the excuse truly ridiculous.

Teachers will be thankful that these excuses, are being exposed to show students that it is better

to accept the penalty, rather than lie and make themselves look foolish.

Segal relates heavily to students when discussing, “The Evils of Dorm Life.” When

explaining the role of the best friend as the catalyst for their missing assignments, Segal writes,

“My best friend was up all night and I had to (a) stay up with her in the dorm, (b) drive her to the

hospital, or (c) drive to her college because (1) her boyfriend broke up with her (2) she was

throwing up blood [no one catches a cold anymore: everyone throws up blood], or (3) her

grandfather/grandmother died.” Segal’s experience as a college professor, gives her experience

with college life. Students will be shocked, seeing that Professor Segal seems to know their

every move. Perhaps the students will listen to the teacher’s adamant disregard for excuses and

find ways to complete their assignments.

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Works Cited

Segan, Carolyn Foster. “The Dog Ate My Disk, and Other Tales of Woe.” Chronicle of Higher

Education. Vol. 46, no. 49. 11 Aug. 2000, p. A64. EBSCOhost. Web. 2 Nov. 2017.