PRACTICAL SOLUTION

To amend the social inequalities in our society and ensure the the prosperity of our country for our

future generations

by

Robert Mugabe

2002

My fellow compatriots. Our people have suffered and wailed under the oppression of

the white man since it stepped foot on our continent centuries ago. They have incarcerated,

enslaved, killed our people for far too long. Becoming independent of great Britain was not

enough to get rid of their domination. The minority white government of Rhodesia simply

transitioned power from one group of white men to another group of white people.

Fortunately we were not naive at the intentions of our enemy, and we fought bravely to

overthrow our eternal oppressors. We overthrew Rhodesia to create Zimbabwe, so that

Africans can be ruled by Africans instead of the White man.

Yet to this day the White man has managed to maintain its advantage over our people.

Most of the arable land is still in the hands of the white minority, which has been inherited to

them by the colonialist pigs. Zimbabweans are robbed from the opportunity to live of their

native soil, and the cycle of poverty they have been stuck on since the colonial period

continues. Do not be fooled by Britain's “Willing Buyer Willing Seller” policy. It represents

nothing more but the willingness of imperialist scum to protect their nation's interest even

after colonialism has ceased to exist.

We also face the responsibility of maximizing harvests to feed our nation. Not even

half of the land we’ve acquired is plantable (no wonder the white man has willingly given us

that land), and the few farmers which are willing to resettle lack both the technical knowledge
and infrastructure required to work it. To this day hundreds of thousands of our brothers and

sisters still live, unable to benefit from special favors given out by my party to our loyal

contributors.

Say no to white people owning our land. Africa is for africans, therefore we must

acquire this land. However, we must incorporate a new measure which to go hand in hand

with land acquisition, otherwise this enterprise is doomed to failure. I’ve come up with a final

solution to bring a new age of economic prosperity and defeat the White man once and for

all.

We will give the White man a taste of his own medicine, and institute slavery as a

viable method for Zimbabweans to acquire white people and work their land for them.

This measure will effective immediately remove all arable land in the hands of the

white people to be resettled by Zimbabweans. The government will be in charge of rounding

up the entirety of the white population to be commercialized among the settlers. This will

serve the practical purpose of applying white people’s knowledge on how to work the land

for the benefit of our compatriots. It will also eliminate the possibility of White people

fleeing and taking with them the machinery, infrastructure, and funding required to work this

land.

The white man will dedicate his work time to repaying the debt he owes to

Zimbabweans after a century of oppression. Their population is currently at 100,000, which

will suffice to provide 50,000 families with one male and one female each. From there on, the

white slaves will reproduce and add to the labor force available to either work the land or be

resold in the market.

 We need to subjugate our enemy using the same means that were used on our

ancestors. Therefore, the white man will be subjected to constant flagellation, so he

experiences first hand the pain our ancestors had to endure. He will be submitted to this

treatment from childhood so that we can stifle any possibility of rebellion. Zimbabweans will

be free to release all internal anger on his slaves, which I consider to be a reasonable

measure. The government will not sanction any white killings sprouting from this practice,

nor will it punish a man satisfying his desires on female slave.

There is one final condition for this enterprise to fully succeed. I will hereby be head

of state to supervise the development of this project till its completion. I'm the mastermind

behind this measure, therefore I need to closely monitor the project to prevent Its failure. I

also require the possession of the gubernamental power necessary to realize this public

service without disruption. Regard anyone who opposes this measure as nothing else than

race traitor saboteur who wishes to go back to serving our white oppressors. We will take any

means necessary to prevent this from happening, since a challenge to my authority is a threat

to the collective freedom of Zimbabweans. Only god himself can remove me from my office.

Our future generations will prosper from the the decisions we make in this very day

Firstly, the land will be exploited to its maximum capacity, causing an unprecedented

expansion in our agriculture focused economy, from which zimbabweans can actively

participate and enjoy a diverse market

Secondly, Poverty will be greatly reduced, since the land once in the hand of white people

will distributed to Zimbabweans, receiving the benefits of white people working their land.

Thirdly, our GDP will grow vastly and will place us as a continental powerhouse to

assist our poorer neighboring countries, consolidating African’s power on our continent
 Fourthly, our population will have moved on from the psychological effects of

centuries of racial, and will have the complete freedom of taking away their anger at our

white oppressors.

Fifthly, there will be no possibility for a white man to abuse his freedom and put

himself over a position of power over Zimbabweans. Furthermore, they were pay for the

crimes of their ancestors for the entirety of their existence.

Sixthly, we will set an international standard on for our African brothers and sisters

on how to get rid from the shackles of oppression and take their revenge agaisnt the white

race, causing a worldwide revolution to seize power away from the White Man.

Seventhly, our more loyal supporters will have a preferential treatment when

acquiring land, therefore consolidating the power I need to protect ourselves from the white

man

I wish that none of you are sufficiently naive to feel uncomfortable with the idea of

effective immediately stripping away the white man from his human identity by turning him

into a slave. To those who indeed feel uncomfortable, fear not: The White Man lost the

privilege of being treated as a human being the second he was born with the skin color that

was behind the suffering and oppression of our people. He is therefore destined to a life of

work and torture. Never again will we the African people be submitted in their own

motherland.

I’m expecting the British apologists to squawk with rage over the treatment of their

fellow invaders in our territory. They will probably bring up how even though they were

once the owners of one of the most vast and oppressive empires on the world, they made

progress by abolishing slavery in their colonies. They will also highlight that this happened in

a majority white empire, so it would be absolute nonsense to judge people by their skin, and
rather prefer to be judged by their character. Being an important world power, it set an

example to the modern world of how to develop thereafter.

Make no mistake, this was nothing else but a petty compensation to black people.

They wanted to satisfy us halfway in order to not break out in a generalized revolution and

threaten their power over us. Even after slavery was abolished, we zimbabweans were still

treated like third class citizens until we toppled them over. The White Man will always have

as his central objective to gain power through the oppression of our race. The entire western

civilization is built upon that principle. The paleness of the skin of a person is enough to

reveal the violent nature held within a person. A recent study realized by the WHO shows

that white people aren’t able to feel empathy the same way we Africans do.

My white-influenced oppositors are already conspiring agaisnt me to take away my

position of power. They will probably be wondering how can I be fighting for the freedom of

Zimbabweans when I will not tolerate any dissenting voice. As I already said, I need to

supervise this project closely, or otherwise this project will fail, in which case our nation will

face collapse. If our nation collapses, we will face the danger of finding ourselves again

under white oppression. My oppositors now this, yet they feign ignorance as they keep

advocating for the interest of white people. That why I will reward greatly those who have

stayed close to my side.

Now that I have presented you with my plan, I will put it into practice immediately.

We must move beyond racism and racial hatred caused by the White Man, and take eternal

revenge on him and his descendants for their racism towards Africans.

Satirical Devices
Invective: I wanted to criticize the injustices that were committed by the white minority,

While at the same time I wanted to criticize Mugabe’s monstrous character. Mugabe said

both quotes highlighted in green in real life, and has advocated for violence.

Understatement: I wanted to portray the absolute distrust Mugabe (and black socialism)

shows toward white people, to the point of diminishing the value of their lives since they

happen to be white

Reversal: I focused my essay on reversing the roles between white people and black people

as slaves in the modern setting. This facilitated me providing justification for this plan of

action, since Mugabe is extremely nationalist and socialist. He justified his policies agaisnt

the white minority by focusing on it as a struggle between the two ethnic groups, white’s

oppresing and black’s being oppressed. He stepped over many human rights in the process

and advocated for violence, so even though my proposal is still outrageous, it is not very far

removed to what Mugabe thinks about white people and opposition.

Irony: Here I wanted to portray one of the major hypocrisies of the ideology of cultural

marxism. What cultural marxism (black socialism being a branch) as an ideology proposes is

to perpetuate hatred and inspire conflict between ethnic groups, since once has power and

oppresses the other. One doesn’t simply solve racism by inspiring even more racism and

steam to the cycle of hatred.

Incongruity: Since marxism divides people into different classes pitted in a fight agaisnt each

other with, “Class” would imply that a group holds similar degrees of power with many

similarities. Therefore Black Socialism (and Cultural Marxism to varying degrees)

Categorizes people based on race, giving people of a certain race similarities in attitude. Only

problem with this is that attitude and character isn’t determined by Skin color.