The Pale Blue Dot, &c

It is said, in some circles, that the Earth is a planet. Scien sts believe that this may be
true. In addi on to Earth, we know of seven other planets in our Solar System. They are:

1. Mercury: God of Thieves, Messengers, and Roads, who replaced the Rod of
Asclepius with his Caduceus.
2. Venus: Goddess of Beauty1, Love, Fer lity, and Sex, about whom no myth is good.
Was born when Uranus’s genitals fell into the sea.
3. Mars2: Son of Jupiter, God of War 3, also the one with whom Venus had an
illegi mate affair a er her marriage with Vulcan4, 5.
4. Jupiter6: King of the Gods, God of the Sky, Thunder and Lightning. Married his
sister Juno.
5. Saturn: Titan of Time, Father of Jupiter, eats his own children, got cut into pieces
by his own son. Wears rings and floats on water!
6. Uranus: Primordial of the Sky, husband of his mother Terra, father of Saturn, got
cut into pieces by his own son. Blue.
7. Neptune: Brother of Jupiter, Lord of the Oceans, has a horse for a son. Mo o: The
Slightly Bluer One.
8. Pluto: Brother of Jupiter, God of Wealth and the Underworld, kidnapped his neice 7
to marry her. Not actually a planet.

In addi on to these, there are a few dwarf planets and a lot of asteroids. Talking about
asteroids, there is a curious story about them.

The Li le Prince, by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, is a story about a traveler from a distant

asteroid. It’s simple and sad and poignant and memorable. It’s ostensibly a children’s
book, but it’s hard to pin down who the intended audience is. In any case, it certainly has
found an audience; it’s among the best-selling books in history.

It was wri en in 1942. That’s an interes ng me to write about asteroids, because in

1942 we didn’t actually know what asteroids looked like. Even in our best telescopes,
the largest asteroids were only visible as points of light. In fact, that’s where their name
comes from—the word asteroid means “star-like.”

Before the 1970s, it was common for science fic on to assume small asteroids would be
round, like planets. During the 70s, we sent a satellite and took the first image of
Phobos8, which is actually a captured asteroid. This was instrumental in the destruc on
of the Hellenic religions9.
The Li le Prince took this a step further, imagining an asteroid as a ny planet with
gravity, air, and a rose. There’s no point in trying to cri que the science here, because (1)
it’s not a story about asteroids, and (2) it opens with a parable about how foolish adults
are for looking at everything too literally.

So, what was it like for the Li le Prince to live on his asteroid? Let’s see.

ETA 5 picoseconds.

1. Ancient Greek writers like Homer and Hesiod said, probably in hyperbole, that she
was the only female in existence that could match your beauty. 

2. Mars Ultor: Mars the Avenger 

3. Not the game, which is filled with inaccuracies. Kratos did not exist, and he did not
kill all the gods! 

4. Not the Star Trek alien species. 

5. Not the language, either. 

6. Jupiter Op mus Maximus: Jupiter, the Best and Greatest 

7. Your Neice: Here, the daughter of your brother and your sister. 

8. Son of Mars, God of Fear, moon of Mars. 

9. In classical Greek Myths, Phobos is a humanoid male who can step on a chariot.
However, the photo confirmed that it was actually a cratered potato.