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Ashley Burt

Personal Narrative

9/30/17

Why I Want to be a Hokie

Virginia Beach is one of the most beautiful cities in the state, but something has always

been off. The hustle and bustle of the over sized suburb I grew up in provided me with a hard Commented [1]: one word

working mentality and the feeling of always being on the go. I am ready for that to change.

Blacksburg is exactly the change I’ve always wanted. Virginia Tech sits in a picturesque

mountain town surrounded by a tight knit community with opportunities for everyone. Numerous

hiking trails, countless colors of leaves, and crisp mountain air promote a higher academic

atmosphere that I would greatly achieve in. The cozy small town feeling is just one reason I Commented [2]: in which
Commented [3]: omit - don't end a sentence in a
want to be a hokie. preposition

Another reason I want to attend Virginia Tech is the deep traditions ingrained into the

hokie community. The drillfield symbolizes a strong military affiliation along with overwhelming

feeling of honor to be a member of such a prestigious university setting. Also, Virginia Tech

remains one of three universities in the country with both a corp of cadets and a civilian lifestyle

on campus. This mingling of lifestyle is reminisce of growing up in a strong military city like Commented [4]: plural

Virginia Beach. Also, the ring dance tradition that has existed since 1934 has provided a rite of

passage for VT juniors as “Moonlight and VPI,” plays a fireworks light the drillfield.

Alongside the long standing traditions of 1872, Virginia Tech has one of the highest

academic and social standards of any college. The honor code was first applied to the Corps of

Cadets and then spread to the student body as the standard for excellence. No student is held

to anything less than the best and no cheating or lying is condoned by the university. Students

at Tech are expected to maintain high conducts standards as well, alongside academic

excellence.
One of the top reasons to be a Hokie is the student involvement on campus. Over 900

student run organizations fill campus meeting rooms with interest for everyone. From

accounting society, to alpine ski club, and the shirtless soccer boys club: there’s something for

everyone at Virginia Tech. Diversity is top of VT’s list as being inclusive to all prospective

students regardless of ethnicity or religion. In today’s divided world, I can only hope to spend my

college years on a campus where everyone is involved and included.

Lastly, Virginia Tech has a stronger sense of school pride than any other Atlantic Coast

Conference school. Watching the Hokie football team run through the cadet tunnel as

thousands jump to the beat of “Enter Sandman,” in Lane Stadium is a feeling like no other. Tech

is the only team with the combination of Chicago maroon and burnt orange, which gives the

Hokies a unique identity that stands out in the crowd.

In the picturesque town of Blacksburg sits a collection of buildings constructed from

hokie stone, which is only found in this region, known as Virginia Polytechnic and State

University. Innumerous traditions, honor, integrity, and pride fill each student that walks on to

this campus. That is why there is nothing greater to be than a Hokie. Commented [5]: This essay is perfectly correct, but
there's nothing to make you stand out from all other
who want to be a Hokie. Let's get together and talk
about this piece.
Labeling Key 84%
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awkward phrasing
capitalize word
lower case - do not capitalize
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awkward fireworks light the drillfield.
phrasing

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