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Documente Cultură
Personal Narrative
9/30/17
Virginia Beach is one of the most beautiful cities in the state, but something has always
been off. The hustle and bustle of the over sized suburb I grew up in provided me with a hard Commented [1]: one word
working mentality and the feeling of always being on the go. I am ready for that to change.
Blacksburg is exactly the change I’ve always wanted. Virginia Tech sits in a picturesque
mountain town surrounded by a tight knit community with opportunities for everyone. Numerous
hiking trails, countless colors of leaves, and crisp mountain air promote a higher academic
atmosphere that I would greatly achieve in. The cozy small town feeling is just one reason I Commented [2]: in which
Commented [3]: omit - don't end a sentence in a
want to be a hokie. preposition
Another reason I want to attend Virginia Tech is the deep traditions ingrained into the
hokie community. The drillfield symbolizes a strong military affiliation along with overwhelming
feeling of honor to be a member of such a prestigious university setting. Also, Virginia Tech
remains one of three universities in the country with both a corp of cadets and a civilian lifestyle
on campus. This mingling of lifestyle is reminisce of growing up in a strong military city like Commented [4]: plural
Virginia Beach. Also, the ring dance tradition that has existed since 1934 has provided a rite of
passage for VT juniors as “Moonlight and VPI,” plays a fireworks light the drillfield.
Alongside the long standing traditions of 1872, Virginia Tech has one of the highest
academic and social standards of any college. The honor code was first applied to the Corps of
Cadets and then spread to the student body as the standard for excellence. No student is held
to anything less than the best and no cheating or lying is condoned by the university. Students
at Tech are expected to maintain high conducts standards as well, alongside academic
excellence.
One of the top reasons to be a Hokie is the student involvement on campus. Over 900
student run organizations fill campus meeting rooms with interest for everyone. From
accounting society, to alpine ski club, and the shirtless soccer boys club: there’s something for
everyone at Virginia Tech. Diversity is top of VT’s list as being inclusive to all prospective
students regardless of ethnicity or religion. In today’s divided world, I can only hope to spend my
Lastly, Virginia Tech has a stronger sense of school pride than any other Atlantic Coast
Conference school. Watching the Hokie football team run through the cadet tunnel as
thousands jump to the beat of “Enter Sandman,” in Lane Stadium is a feeling like no other. Tech
is the only team with the combination of Chicago maroon and burnt orange, which gives the
hokie stone, which is only found in this region, known as Virginia Polytechnic and State
University. Innumerous traditions, honor, integrity, and pride fill each student that walks on to
this campus. That is why there is nothing greater to be than a Hokie. Commented [5]: This essay is perfectly correct, but
there's nothing to make you stand out from all other
who want to be a Hokie. Let's get together and talk
about this piece.
Labeling Key 84%
verb form
verb tense
strong word choice
poor word choice
spelling error
awkward phrasing
capitalize word
lower case - do not capitalize
Provide an example to support your point
sentence fragment
run-on sentence
repetitive
Punctuation error
awkward fireworks light the drillfield.
phrasing
Punctuation ,
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Punctuation ,
error