Mentor text 1:

persuasive
devices
Writing powerful non-fiction that
communicates your ideas about
dystopia
Mentor text 1
Trump’s America is Like a Dystopian Novel, With
One Important Difference by John Feffer

Read it here
Tip 1: use creative similes and metaphors
“Kids are drawn to such stories - The Giver,
Hunger Games - like Goths to piercings.
Why it works: similes set context and engage
the target audience through witty comparison.
This is the second line of the article so the writer
needs a relevant comparison to establish his
argument. He lets us know that he understands
the teenage world (Goths and piercings) and
that his subject matter is going to be dark (Goths
and piercings).
...all the dystopian nightmares that had
gathered like storm clouds on the horizon -
nuclear war, climate change, a clash of
civilisations - suddenly moved overhead. Cue
the rumble of thunder and the flash of lightning.
Why it works: comparing the threat of nuclear war
to storm clouds paints a vivid visual picture. The
imagery is suggestive of a meteorological warning,
like a storm can cause havoc and destruction.
Trump’s election - that ‘uber narcissist’ is
metaphorically likened to the sound effects in a film
- ‘cue the rumble of thunder’ to emphasise the
central argument that Trump’s America is like a
dystopian text.
Tip 2: use hyperbole with a clear purpose in mind
“First came denial - from the existential
dread that hammered the solar plexus as the
election returns trickled in that Tuesday
night…”
Why it works: Feffer describes the extreme
mind and bodily sensations of those who were
horrified by the Trump election result with
hyperbolic language to communicate the mental
and physical agony of the dystopian situation.
He understands his content and his readership
and stays focused on his argument.
“Certainly, Donald Trump wants his face
everywhere, his name on everything, his little
fingers in every pot.”
Why it works*: Feffer designed this sentence to
exaggerate Trump’s lust for power and compare
him to fascist/communist leaders of the past. Note
the criticism of ‘little fingers’ and the implied
childlike behaviour of ‘in every pot’. The repetition
works to emphasise the exaggeration.
*This may not actually be hyperbole, depending on
your views on Mr Trump!
Tip 3: vary sentence structure to pace and surprise
Despite falling rates of violent crime—a tiny
uptick in 2015 obscures the fact that these
remain at a historic low—Trump also wants
to beef up the police to deal with American
“carnage.” So far, so 1984.
Why it works: Feffer’s tools of choice are
complex sentences, like most good non-fiction
writers. But he knows that he needs to vary his
sentences to engage his audience, pace his
argument (it is a long article) and provide the
element of delight and surprise. He refers
frequently to Orwell’s 1984 to reiterate his
credentials as a literary expert and social
commentator on dystopia and continues the
idiom of 1984 to persuade his readers of his
intellectual credentials.
All that dust in the air comes, after all,
from the chaotic first steps in a projected
massive demolition process and may
already be obscuring the fact that Trump
is attempting to push through a
fundamentally anti-American and
potentially supremely unpopular program.
Why it works: Commas and breaks pace
the reader during complex sentences to
promote engagement. We are reminded that
Feffer knows his stuff and invited to agree
with him that ‘after all’, he is speaking the
truth.
Tip 4: Use inclusive language to clinch the deal
“As readers, we are free to interpret
dystopian fiction the way we please. As
citizens, we can do something far more
subversive. We can rewrite our own
dystopian reality. We can change that bleak
future ourselves.”
Why it works: Inclusive or emotive language
creates an intimacy with the reader. The author
is trying to get on our side - to let us know that
he gets us. The personal pronoun = empathy
and connectedness; neatly segwayed by the call
to action - to become more than a passive
participant.
“To do so, however, we would need to put
together a better plot, introduce some more
interesting and colorful characters, and,
before it’s too late, write a much better
ending that doesn’t just leave us with
explosions, screams, and fade to black.”
Why it works: He appeals to the readers
emotions to avoid an impending disaster. The
use of highly emotive nouns and verbs
(explosions, screams) creates an emotional
response from the reader, who is appealed to
using the ‘we’ pronoun repeatedly to get the
point across..
Focus activity
1) Write a 200-word email to the author as
someone who either agrees or disagrees with his
central premise. Aim to persuade. Assume the
publication will publish your letter.
2) You are the editor of the comments forum for
The Nation. Read the comments under the story.
Describe in a 200-word paragraph how the five
commenters tried to persuade others of their
views on this story.