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Tapping for PUAs

Unleashing the confident Pick-Up Artist already inside you

Magnus

InnerGameTapping.com
Tapping for PUAs

Copyright © Magnus Haveluck 2007

The right of Magnus Haveluck to be identified as the author of this


book has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs
and Patents Act 1988.

Note to Filesharers

Every PDF of this file is stamped with an ID unique to the person


who bought it.

As with any method of self-improvement, Tapping takes a


significant time investment. The cost of this e-book is small
compared to the cost in time that you will spend studying it and
implementing the ideas.

In the grander scheme of things, the idea behind this book is that it
will save you time and thus money by making your personal self
development journey a smoother one.

Please consider buying it if you can afford to.

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Tapping for PUAs

1. Introduction.......................................................................... 6
The Community .................................................................................. 8
Tapping ............................................................................................. 12
Inner Game Tapping......................................................................... 16

2. Inner Game Tapping Road Map......................................... 18


3. Approach Anxiety .............................................................. 20
4. Unreactiveness ................................................................... 25
Shit Tests .......................................................................................... 26

5. Magically Meeting Women................................................ 29


How to make this work for You ....................................................... 32

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Exercises....................................................................................................... 34

1. Shark Exercise.................................................................... 35
2. Virgin Exercise .................................................................. 37
3. Virginity Losing Exercise .................................................. 39
4. Peacocking Exercise........................................................... 41
5. The Madonna-Whore Complex.......................................... 43
The Freudian Angle .......................................................................... 44
The Movie Moment .......................................................................... 44
The Present Moment......................................................................... 45

6. Jealousy Exercise ............................................................... 46

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Worksheets .................................................................................................. 49

How to Use the Worksheets............................................... 50


Approaching Worksheet..................................................... 51
Escalation Worksheet......................................................... 52
State Control Worksheet .................................................... 53
Meeting Women Worksheet .............................................. 54
Self Esteem Worksheet ...................................................... 55
Attraction Worksheet ......................................................... 56
Qualifying Worksheet ........................................................ 57
Comfort and Rapport Worksheet ....................................... 58
Kino Worksheet ................................................................. 59
Sex Worksheet ................................................................... 60
Dressing Well Worksheet .................................................. 61
Masculinity Worksheet ...................................................... 62
AMOG Handling Worksheet ............................................. 63
Hot Girls Worksheet .......................................................... 64
Ex-Girlfriend Cleanse Worksheet ...................................... 65

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1. Introduction
In late 2000 I was a virgin at 23, starved of all female contact. I
did not believe I would ever get married and be happy.

Six years later I have to sit down and think hard to remember the
names of all the girls I’ve slept with. I feel like I am surrounded
by beautiful women.

I credit this change to two things; firstly my involvement in the


infamous underground seduction community, and secondly –
Tapping.

Like many sexually frustrated guys, I had no idea what women


really wanted. My mum had always told me that girls like guys
who listen to them, so I tried to do as much of that as possible.

I also tried to show off a lot. I wanted a girl who valued


intelligence, so I figured that any opportunity I had to demonstrate
mine was a good idea.

I knew exactly how I would eventually get myself a girlfriend.


There were plenty of lovely girls at my high school, and I had
many great female friends. I was sure that sooner or later one of
them would become my girlfriend.

I figured that ‘Girlfriend’ must be like being really, really good


friends, so I made extra effort to give girls lifts places, help them
with their homework, buy them gifts, and so on.

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When I was sure I was good friends with a girl, and that she liked
me, I plucked up the courage to ask her out for dinner.

It’s interesting that I persisted with this strategy, because


absolutely without exception, all the girls at my school said no.

It was only when I arrived at university that one of them finally


said yes. My strategy for getting girls was not one that worked on
most women, but eventually I met a girl who had the same strategy
as I did. For various reasons she needed to feel very comfortable
with a guy before she could develop romantic interest in him.

We got together, and fell madly in love. I felt like she was the
only girl who had ever understood me, and it seemed highly likely
that she was the only girl who ever would understand me.

That’s probably why we stayed together for so long after the


relationship had turned nasty. We fought all the time, and
although we did everything else, we never actually had sex
because she didn’t believe in sex before marriage.

When we finally broke up it felt like the end of the world for me.
It had taken me 19 years to meet a girl who I connected with so
strongly, I thought it might take another 19 years to meet someone
like her.

Around the time we broke up, I was first directed to a mysterious


website that offered a different perspective on how to get girls.
After a quick read it seemed interesting but I wasn’t ready to move

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on, so I put it aside for nearly two years until I had gotten over my
ex-girlfriend.

That was around the time I developed a new life philosophy. I


would do whatever made me happy. Believing that my uni
girlfriend was my only chance at happiness did not make me
happy, so I started to look for other girls. I knew those websites
would help with that.

The Community
I bought David DeAngelo’s Double Your Dating e-book, and for
the first time started to realise where I was going wrong with
women.

It made so much sense, and the way I behaved towards the girls
around me started to change. Some of them became alienated and
upset when I overdid it. I was over-compensating, trying too hard
to avoid being a nice guy and being too much of an asshole. Even
that felt like a step forward though.

I got a girlfriend for a short while, a friend of a friend, and finally


lost my virginity. It was a huge anti-climax. I’d wanted it to be a
special occasion, with a girl I really loved, but that would have
meant my uni girlfriend, and she was long gone.

Clearing that hurdle changed things. Sex was no longer such a big
deal and I knew that if it could happen once, it could happen
again… and again!

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I resolved to change, to become a guy who had great success with


women, and I knew that this would take practice. I met a few local
guys from the community, and we formed the Bristol Lair. We
started going out regularly, two or three nights a week, and
collected together hundreds of the best articles we could find on
our lair website.

I kissed plenty of girls during that time, but none of them wanted
to see me again. I did sleep with a few more girls, but only one of
them was off a cold approach. It took me six months to get her
into bed.

The others I met through my social circle. One of them was when
I was driving my cousin’s band on tour around the country, and the
guitarist told her to go up to my bedroom to keep me company!

Then I took a bootcamp with Real Social Dynamics. It was a


religious experience for me. I took it at precisely the right time.
My game was already quite good and I just needed a few tweaks to
get me to the next level. I felt like I was the star pupil of the
bootcamp, as Tyler invited me back the next weekend to help push
the students into set.

I started to get some level of consistency and success, but I still felt
like a failure with women. I committed to improving my game as
much as I could. I realised that I also needed to improve other
areas of my life too, and I started researching wealth building and
passive income.

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This made me want to start my own business, but I didn’t really


have a clear idea, and didn’t have time outside of work to do
anything about it anyway. I realised that if I sold my apartment I
could quit my job and live for a while off the proceeds, hopefully
working out a way to make more money before I ran out. It took a
few years for this decision to pay off, and it was a big risk – one
I’d never have taken if I hadn’t found the community.

Before I got down to making money in earnest, I decided to travel


America for three months, visiting community guys in New York,
Austin, Los Angeles, San Francisco and Las Vegas.

By the time I visited Project Hollywood, Style, Mystery and


Herbal had all left and the drama was over. It had become the
‘RSD Mansion’ and was a very positive place, full of people
devoted to improving themselves any way they could.

That summer I lived in Vienna for ten weeks with another PUA,
and we went out every night except three. The local lair group is
very active in Vienna and held a weekend summit while we were
there.

During that time I learned how important it was to develop a


structure for picking up girls. After we gave up on the Austrian
girls, we fell into a routine of cruising the backpacker hostels and
offering to show girls around the city. We would take them to a
couple of touristy spots, and then to our favourite bar for 3-euro
cocktails, and then home.

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When I returned from Vienna I lived in London for a few months


to focus on generating some income. During those months I went
out quite a bit but I actually hit a bit of a low point with women. I
moved into a room in a shared house and even after seeing me
successfully cold approach I think my housemates doubted I ever
had that much success.

Much of my success in the past had been when I was travelling,


particularly with the advantage of having a British accent in
America.

I quickly became disenchanted with the scene in London. I was


going to the same clubs that were already saturated with guys
using canned openers the girls had heard already. The clubs that
were good for practicing on bootcamps turned out to be terrible for
actually meeting the sort of girls I wanted.

I still felt like I had to sleep with a lot of women to compensate for
all the girls that hadn’t wanted me at school. That way I could feel
attractive and accepted instead of unattractive and rejected.

Remembering the times that I’d pulled really hot girls, I realised
that inside I still felt nervous and uncomfortable around them. It
took a lot of effort to be the guy I wanted to be.

I could get them interested at first but that interest would soon start
to fade. As they got to know me, cracks started to appear in the
confident persona I had presented.

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The community had given me a lot, but the biggest thing it made
me realise was that another person could never make me happy.

However proud I felt of the proverbial notches on my bedpost, I


still felt pretty much the same way towards women that I did at
school.

Tapping
It was six months later that I finally reached the point where I felt I
could attract women by being my relaxed, authentic self, and
where I finally felt satisfied with who I was. The community had
shown me what I needed to change, but it hadn’t fixed it.

I was introduced to tapping by one of the Bristol guys when we


first formed the lair. He was a hypnotherapist and showed us how
to use it to reduce our Approach Anxiety.

Back then neither of us really understood the power of it. I used it


on and off for a couple of years, but for a long time I didn’t really
believe that it worked. It was hard to see any obvious difference.

Nonetheless, on a whim I found myself applying it to more and


more things, and started to notice it doing something.

One moment that sticks out was playing with a compressed-air


powered model aeroplane. I caught my finger on the propeller and
it was surprisingly painful. Tapping instantly switched off the
pain.

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On my RSD bootcamp I experienced intense neck pain when they


sent me into approach. I’d tapped away most of my approach
anxiety already – I still had a bit left but it was manageable. This
was something new, more connected to wanting to make the most
of my investment and impress the instructors and the other
students, I think. I tried tapping it and experienced instant relief.

So I was convinced that Tapping worked by that weekend in


November 2004. It wasn’t until a year later in London, when I
realised that my inner game hadn’t really improved all that much
that I started tapping for that in earnest.

I started to dig up all the times that girls had hurt me. All the
negative feelings that I had learned to feel about myself after my
experiences of rejection. It was really quite a dark time for me,
and I dwelled on those feelings probably for longer than I needed
to before tapping them away.

It was only then that I started to chip away at the feeling that I
needed to sleep with lots of girls to know I was attractive. It took
six months to completely release all the different aspects of that
feeling.

England is cold and miserable at that time of year, so when one of


my friends said he had an apartment in Ibiza, I went to stay with
him for a while – even though it was off-season.

Ibiza is fantastic in the summer, but from February to April there


were basically no girls there. That was okay though, we both had
work to do on our various projects and on ourselves.
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I went back through the recent times that I’d felt anything less than
absolutely confident and comfortable around women, traced the
nervous feelings back to the first time I’d felt them, and tapped the
memories until the feelings were gone.

I realised that I could have slept with a thousand women and still
have the feeling that I needed results with women to make me feel
attractive in myself. Only tapping the feeling truly dealt with it.

It was like I knew deep down inside that I was a failure with
women, and I was desperately trying to create the results in my life
that would prove otherwise. But when that proof came, it was
never enough to change my identity on the inside. Tapping
worked directly on the beliefs I had about myself, and once they
were shifted, suddenly all that proof made sense.

When things didn’t quite go the way I expected with girls and I felt
bad, I reframed it. They weren’t rejecting me, they were showing
me things I needed to tap.

Previously my inner game work had consisted of building up a


rigid structure of protective beliefs. Deep down, I believed that if a
girl rejected me, it meant I was not attractive. I’d been piling the
community rhetoric on top of that – for example “if a girl rejects
me it’s her loss”.

Even though I’d tell myself that, if I was honest with myself,
underneath I still felt bad. But the Tapping gave me something
new. It was a way to forget hot to feel bad in the first place.

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I started to detach the extra meaning I had put on all my social


interactions and indeed from everything in my life.

Having eroded the un-conscious negativity I was holding deep


down, I actually started to find that the ‘positive’ beliefs I’d
installed from the community started to hold me back.

One example is the attitude that it’s always your responsibility if a


girl responds badly, that you should always look at it as a chance to
improve your game. Some girls just aren’t open to meeting new
people.

Another example would be setting a target to approach many sets


in one night. I found myself ejecting when things were going well
because I wanted to open more. Most times I’d get the number,
but even then often the right thing to do would have been to venue
change.

That often turned out to be ego-protection. When things started to


go well I would eject in case the success didn’t last, and I’d use
wanting to open more to ‘improve my game’ as an excuse.

So I actually started to tap those things too, and that actually


screwed up my game for a while. I took it apart, completely
destroyed it, and put it back together now that I had the
foundations of true confidence.

My ‘game’ was no longer a complicated machinery to control


women and protect my fragile ego, it became a delivery
mechanism to communicate what an awesome guy I am.
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Inner Game Tapping


That’s the idea I want to promote with Inner Game Tapping.

Another way to look at it is as the ‘Zen’ of pick-up. Minimal


techniques and minimal thinking. The over-analysis is really just
an attempt to re-frame your insecurities around women. It’s a
cleaner solution to just remove the insecurities in the first place.

The materials then become less of a set of instructions, and more a


set of guidelines to show you that you are on the right path.

For example you can always tell when a newbie has had coaching
on his body language. He sprawls himself across several seats in a
bar and takes up a lot of space. But because he’s doing that
because he’s been told to, he looks and feels uncomfortable.

When someone is relaxed in a social situation, and confident, and


comfortable… when they sit down in a bar they will invariably
sprawl themselves across several seats and take up a lot of space,
because that’s what they feel like doing.

You can certainly fake it until you make it. That’s the best we can
do without tapping. But ask yourself, which is more ‘alpha’ – to
sit a certain way because you read on the internet that’s how you
are supposed to sit, or because you feel like it.

Change the way you feel, and the way you behave will change too.

Tapping is the most effective tool I’ve found for doing this, and the
possible applications are limitless. Pick-up is just the start.
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Tapping can improve your self-esteem, happiness, health and


wealth. It is a powerful aid for creating your reality.

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2. Inner Game Tapping Road Map


The Road Map is one of discovery; discovery of what you need to
tap in order to achieve the milestones laid out.

Cast your eye over the goals below. For each goal there is a
corresponding worksheet. The worksheets help you find the things
to tap to work towards becoming someone who agrees with the
statements.

SELF ESTEEM SEX EX-GIRLFRIEND CLEANSE


□ I like myself, and it □ I am comfortable during □ I feel only positive
makes sense that girls like sexual encounters with feelings towards ex-
me women girlfriends and girls who
rejected me
MEETING WOMEN KINO HOT GIRLS
□ I tend to like the girls I □ I am comfortable □ I am comfortable around
meet and I have no pre- touching girls and girls I find very attractive
conceived ideas about escalating physically
them
STATE CONTROL COMFORT AND RAPPORT AMOG HANDLING
□ I generally feel good in □ I am comfortable being □ I am rarely threatened
social situations honest with girls and by the presence of other
showing vulnerability men

ESCALATION QUALIFYING MASCULINITY


□ Very little holds me back □ I am comfortable □ I am comfortable in
from moving things communicating to girls myself as a man
forward with girls that I like them

APPROACH ATTRACTION DRESSING WELL


□ Most of the time I start □ I am non-reactive and □ I am comfortable
conversations when I see generate attraction without dressing in a way that
a girl I like thinking about it elicits interest from
women

There is much overlap between the goals and worksheets, you can
work through them one at a time, or skip randomly between them.
You will make the quickest and most noticeable progress by
focusing on one goal at a time.

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Allow your life and your intuition to guide you to which areas to
work on at any one time. Focus on your sticking points and
whatever issue is biggest for you on a particular day. Because
there is so much overlap, when you work on one worksheet you
are also working on all the others.

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3. Approach Anxiety
It is your negative beliefs and feelings that make it hard to
approach. The moment you think about walking up to a girl, the
negative self-talk starts.

A belief is a thought that we are emotionally attached to. So not


only do we think “She won’t like me”, but there is also a feeling
associated with that.

As we think the thought, we feel the feeling.

If we ignore the thought, and approach anyway, the thought gets


louder; “didn’t you HEAR ME???? She WON’T LIKE ME!!” –
and we feel the feeling stronger.

So even though you might be able to push through your approach


anxiety, your body will react to what you are doing, and make you
feel uncomfortable.

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On a good day, when we are in a good mood and feeling in the


moment, the negative thoughts and feelings don’t arise in the first
place. This is what we describe in the community as ‘being in
state’. It can be hard to replicate reliably though. Alternatively,
drinking alcohol relaxes the body, and dulls the feeling associated
with the thoughts.

If you don’t have Tapping, you don’t realise that you can simply
find these negative beliefs and remove them. The solution most
people come up with is to pile on the ‘positive’ affirmations.

This makes a lot of sense if you’re not aware of the mechanics


behind your beliefs, and it does work to an extent.

The problem with this method is that the body doesn’t simply
replace your negative beliefs with the positive Community
Programming. The negative beliefs are fear-based, and as such
your mind thinks it needs them for your survival. It’s not about to
change them or let them go merely on a whim.

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What actually happens is that you find yourself left with a mish-
mash of positive AND negative thoughts floating around in your
head. You become conflicted, and that creates even more stress all
on its own.

The negative beliefs are still there. When you push through them
you still feel the fear associated with them.

Fear-based beliefs will ALWAYS be stronger than positive


affirmations, because they concern your survival. Each negative
belief basically says “if you approach, you might die”! Your body
will always err on the side of not dying, no matter how much the
idea of getting laid appeals to you.

You can learn to ignore the negative beliefs and feelings, but this is
very unhealthy and causes people to lose touch with all feelings.
You turn into an emotional zombie.

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Eventually, after plenty of positive experiences in the field,


particularly in relaxed situations, the negative beliefs and feelings
will start to release themselves. This is effect is negligible,
compared to what you can achieve with Tapping though.

When you tap away your negative feelings and beliefs, one by one,
you realise that nothing is really holding you back from
approaching women.

It turns out you don’t need all the extra ‘positive’ programming.
With no conflicting beliefs, you find you already have all the
natural motivation you need to talk to the girls you like.

This is why the idea “I need more motivation to approach” is false.


You don’t need more motivation. If you have decided you want
more motivation, you already want to approach, and that should be
all the motivation you need. It’s just that you also have fear
associated with doing so.

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When you remove everything holding you back, the artificial


‘positive’ beliefs and affirmations actually mess you up. If you
have the belief “I must approach every set”, but you genuinely
aren’t interested in opening a particular girl, then you’ll feel like
you’ve let yourself down.

Naturals would never think like that, as it’s based on a scarcity


mentality. Once you get to the point where enough girls come to
you anyway, you don’t need to approach every single set.

Persistent tapping can reduce your approach anxiety to effectively


nil. Bear in mind that you basically need to deal with every single
negative feeling you have associated with women to get to this
point.

In the meantime, a few dozen rounds will take the edge off it very
quickly. Aim to reach the point where you tend to approach
without thinking when you see a girl you like.

Every time you tap it becomes easier to approach.

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4. Unreactiveness

"People only have emotional reactions


to those who are higher value than them,
and those who they perceive as a threat.

In any social interaction there is always one


person who is reacting more to the other
person, than that person is reacting to them."

- Tyler

The key to being attractive is being perceived as having high value.


The key to high value behaviour is unreactiveness, or a lack of
emotional reactions.

Tapping literally unwires your emotional responses. So just by


finding those and tapping them away, you become more
unreactive, and thus become higher value, and so more attractive.

Note; unreactiveness is often misinterpreted as not being emotional


at all – but you should still be emotional in pro-active, positive,
expressive ways. This is a common pitfall when you apply logical
thinking and use willpower to become more unreactive.

Again, the usual community practice is to pile on new, more


attractive behaviour on top of the current unattractive behaviour,
and again, this certainly works eventually.

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But the way it eventually works is when it changes the way you
feel underneath. Tapping is a way to change the way you feel
directly.

Say you are talking to a girl, and because you care too much about
what she thinks you feel nervous. Because you feel nervous you
react emotionally to everything she says and try to make her like
you. She will have no attraction towards you.

This is why often it’s the girls we aren’t interested in that become
attracted to us, and the ones we are interested in don’t. We don’t
respond emotionally to girls we don’t find attractive as much as to
the girls we do.

You can certainly learn how you are supposed to sit, and not to
fidget and move nervously and not to jump on everything she says.
If you have the willpower to ignore your nervous feelings that
make you act like that, and instead force yourself to act like you
are comfortable, she will become attracted to you.

When you realise that she is liking you, you will become more
comfortable and begin to act that way naturally.

However, if you simply tap away whatever beliefs you have about
yourself that mean you need that girl’s approval, and tap away the
nervousness, and tap away the feelings that make you fidget, you
will feel comfortable without even having to think about it.

Shit Tests
Girls test your emotional responses all the time.
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There is much talk in the community about how to pass shit tests.
It’s not very well understood because the solution is emotional, not
logical. Newbies tend to want to know ‘what to say’ in order to
pass a particular test.

There is no right or wrong thing to say, the key is to not be


emotionally affected by her test.

Because newbies want the girl to like them, they are emotionally
affected, and they respond in an emotional way, either doing what
the girl says she wants, or becoming angry or upset. This is an
automatic fail.

As such you really start to hate being shit tested, because it makes
you feel bad. Even when you start to see the pattern behind the
‘right’ answer, you still feel bad and react emotionally inside.

However shit tests are really a good thing. It’s the girl’s way of
saying “I think you are a confident guy… but I have to check”.
She doesn’t realise that consciously, of course. What’s really
going on is that the shit test is the girl’s emotional reaction to you.

If you are behaving confidently and unreactively, she will become


attracted to your higher value behaviour, so she will start to have
emotional reactions.

When she reacts emotionally, if you then react to her emotional


behaviour she lose attraction. She needs to know that you can
handle your emotions and hers.

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If you have an emotional reaction to a shit test, you have failed it.
You can learn to fake not having an emotional reaction, but this is
using your logical mind to overrule your emotional mind, and
sooner or later you will be caught out.

If you are unreactive to a shit test, it doesn’t matter what you say
or do, you will pass it.

Every time you tap you become a little more unreactive

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5. Magically Meeting Women


To be honest, I probably wouldn’t believe this story if it hadn’t
happened to me. Still, it is a fairly accurate representation of what
happened. I present it here because I think I have nailed how to
reproduce these results in anyone, including you.

In August 2006 I was sat in a coffee shop discussing with my wing


how London girls really are less attractive than girls in the rest of
the world. I’d seen this as just another negative belief for a long
time, but having travelled the US and Europe I now felt qualified
to objectively compare English women.

It seemed like whenever I went out in central London, I’d either


meet English girls or Eastern European girls. If they were English,
they’d be fat, ugly, stupid, and miserable. If they were Eastern
European they’d be ridiculously thin, unbelievably hot… and
stupid and miserable.

I decided to tap these beliefs for the hell of it, and see what
happens. This is a key attitude to making real progress with
tapping.

I asked myself a simple question and got tapping:

“What don’t you like about the girls you meet?”

“Even though they are stupid…”


“Even though they are miserable…”
“Even though they are fat…”
“Even though they are too thin…”
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“Even though they are ugly...”


“Even though I don’t have anything in common with them…”
“Even though they sound common…”
“Even though they sound posh…”
“Even though they are annoying…”
“Even though they aren’t interested...”
“Even though they are boring…”
“Even though I’m not interested in them...”
“Even though they are all from Essex…”
“Even though their friends drag them away...”
“Even though they don’t find me attractive…”

When I went out that night I found that I pretty much adored all
the girls that I met. They were just lovely. None of them were
particularly the sort of girl I wanted, but I really didn’t have any
objections to them at all.

To an extent, it is easy to see how this could work. Imagine that


you hold the belief that all the girls you meet are fat.

If you are talking to an average-sized girl, your view of her will be


filtered through that belief and you will see her as fat.

If you are at a bar, and there are a couple of thin girls on one side
of you, and a couple of fat girls on the other side, your unconscious
mind will not register the thin girls. You’ll find yourself opening
the fat ones, because, you believe that all the girls you meet are fat.
(This is the reticular activation system at work.)

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A few nights later I looked around the bar I was in, and could not
see a single girl I didn’t want to get to know better. I do not
understand the mechanism behind that at all. Frankly I don’t care!
It is as if I was metaphysically guided to a bar full of hot girls.

I certainly was in a bar that I didn’t usually go to, but I hadn’t


made a conscious decision to go there. It had happened
automatically.

I then decided to apply The Secret, and simply put out an intention
to meet the sort of girl I wanted to meet; intelligent, happy and
confident in herself, pretty but not necessarily amazingly hot.

With no conflicting beliefs to that happening, within a week I met


two girls like that and was seeing them for a few months.

At that point I realised that I had a negative belief that intelligent


and happy girls were less likely to be amazingly hot, so I sent out
another intention to meet an amazingly hot girl who liked me.
Pretty soon I met a girl who satisfied my idea of ‘amazingly hot’,
but it turned out she wasn’t as genuinely confident and happy as I
first thought. I still had limiting beliefs around very hot girls being
the sort of girl I would like as a person.

Around that time I read that the best way to ‘manifest’ your
intentions is to focus on the emotional goal, rather than a specific
one.

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So, after Christmas I put out a simple intention, to meet a girl I


could fall in love with. A month or so later I met a girl who seems
to fit the bill. We’ll have to see how it goes.

How to make this work for You


I was surprised as anyone that this approach worked. However, so
many things like this have happened in my exploration of tapping
and The Secret that I tend to accept them now. I also know how to
reliably create effects like this in my life, and I hope so will you
after reading my book and this PUA supplement.

I think this should be among the first ideas you work with when
you start tapping, but you should not expect results until you have
tapped nearly everything.

Just like I found I had a deeply buried limiting belief that a really
hot girl could be very intelligent, you may have other beliefs that
stop you seeing any results at all for a while. These will be tapped
indirectly when you work through tapping other things.

Nevertheless, decide right now what sort of girls you want to meet.

Actually go ahead and write this down somewhere. Put a sticky


note on your computer monitor. Write it on your whiteboard.
Write it on a card and carry it with you all the time. You could
even post it on your lair forum (don’t forget to credit
http://www.InnerGameTapping.com/ with the idea!).

If you do not want to meet a girl you would fall in love with right
now, you could write “a girl I like who is happy without
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commitment”. Or “two girls who love me and each other”. Or be


specific; “Blonde Bisexual Masseuse”.

Once you have decided the sort of girl you want to meet and taken
action to focus your intention on meeting that sort of girl, follow
the ‘Ideal Girl’ section of the ‘Meeting Women’ worksheet to clear
your objections to meeting her.

Don’t forget you will also of course need a decent level of game to
make things happen with the girl when you meet her.

Every time you tap you become more open to new girls

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Exercises

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1. Shark Exercise
This exercise is dedicated to my buddy Shark, who coined the
phrase “Are you afraid people will know that you fuck chicks?”

All you have to do for this exercise is go to a store and buy


condoms. However it is not sufficient just to slip them in your
basket and hide them amongst your groceries, you must ask an
assistant where the condoms are. You must do so proudly, and
preferably so that more than one other shopper can hear.

If you have any burning questions about condoms that you want to
ask then you must ask them. Otherwise you can ask “which type is
the most reliable?”

Do take care not to make the shop assistant uncomfortable,


particularly if they are dressed in a way that indicates they might
have strong religious beliefs.

Look for any uncomfortable feelings that arise during the exercise,
and tap them later in private. Do not tap in public unless you can
do so in your head without appearing like a crazy person.

Repeat the exercise until you feel absolutely comfortable.

If after that, opportunity arises to push your comfort zone further,


for example a very attractive shop assistant, repeat the exercise
again.

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A variation on the exercise is to find the most attractive girl


working in a pharmacy and ask where the haemorrhoid cream is.

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2. Virgin Exercise
You can try this exercise whether or not you are a virgin.

Many guys I meet in the community are ashamed of their virginity.


I have actually met a 40 year-old virgin. Even most 20 year-old
virgins feel inadequate because of their status. I did.

However there is absolutely no reason for this. Some girls will


even find it hot.

My friend Tom was working for a large electronics company and


ran their stall at a trade fair. A dozen hot girls were hired to greet
visitors to the stall, and at the end of the weekend Tom and his
colleagues had dinner with them.

One of Tom’s colleagues told the girls that Tom was a virgin. This
wasn’t true, he’d been in a relationship for four years at that point.
Nevertheless the girls absolutely mobbed him. One of them
literally wanted to have sex with him in the toilets.

Women feel threatened by men’s sexual history just as we


sometimes feel threatened by theirs. Do not underestimate how
special a woman will feel if she knows she is your first.

If you are comfortable with you being a virgin, so will she be. If
she is attracted to you, do not assume she will lose attraction for
you when she finds out.

The virgin exercise is simple; rather than hiding the fact you are a
virgin, drop it into conversation with new girls as early as possible.
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For example, after any reference to sex, say “I wouldn’t know, I’m
a virgin”.

Also ask “Would you date a virgin?” either as an opener or topic of


conversation.

The aim is to demonstrate to yourself that most girls are not


bothered at all, and also not to care about the minority that do.

Tap any fears or doubts you have about doing this, and any
uncomfortable feelings that arise when you do it.

Beyond the period during which you are running the exercise, do
not particularly mention that you are a virgin until it arises
naturally in conversation.

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3. Virginity Losing Exercise


Another thing I’ve noticed with most guys who are virgins is that
the standards they have for the girl they will lose their virginity
with are impossibly high.

The longer they go without losing their virginity, the higher the
standards get.

If you’d lost your virginity when you were 13 you wouldn’t care
now who you had lost it to.

For various reasons I didn’t ever have sex with my first girlfriend
at 18, who I loved, and I regretted that for a long time. I think
because I’d not done it with her, I felt I should wait for a girl who
was even more special to me.

It was five years before I had another opportunity, and I basically


gave up the idea of losing it to someone I loved, and lost it with a
close female friend. After that I wondered what the big deal was.

The aim of this exercise is to dispel the idea in your mind that
losing your virginity is a big deal.

Look for any regret you have about times you missed opportunities
to lose your virginity. Tap any negative feelings that come up.

For each girl you meet, look for any resistance you might have
towards losing your virginity to her.

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Bear in mind that such resistance won’t just arise at the last
minute, it could even arise before you open “well I wouldn’t want
to lose my virginity to a girl like that so I won’t even bother
opening her”.

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4. Peacocking Exercise
Peacocking is dressing provocatively to gain attention. As such it
is a great exercise to push your comfort zone.

When you peacock, you will find that men and women continually
test you to see if you are really confident enough to wear what you
are wearing.

They will try to provoke an emotional reaction from you. It is this


emotional reaction that you are looking to discover so you can tap
it away later.

Have fun dressing up and going out. Look for outrageous clothes
from fancy dress shops or charity shops. Get your wings to either
join in or to dress normal alongside you.

Experiment with completely disregarding any comments about


what you are wearing. Do not acknowledge them at all, just
change threads to a new topic. This is particularly fun when you
are dressed as a woman or Spiderman.

Remember the aim of wearing the clothes is not actually to get you
laid, there is actually little correlation between peacocking and
closing. If anything there is probably a reverse correlation.

You are simply looking for ways to expose your own emotional
reactions so that you may tap them. If you can be comfortable
peacocking, you will be super-comfortable wearing your normal
clothes.

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Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Spiky Hair, Flashing T-Shirt and New Rock boots

• Spiderman, Superman, or other superhero outfit

• Feather Boa

• Bowler or Cowboy Hat

• Hawaiian Shirt and Bermuda Shorts

• Women’s Clothes

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5. The Madonna-Whore Complex


The Madonna-Whore Complex describes an unconscious
contradiction in your mind between the idea of women as mothers
and the idea of women as sexual beings.

According to Freud, this occurs if you are brought up by a cold and


distant mother, but it also seems to be linked to cultural and
societal stigma.

Either way, to an extent, all men look for the mother figure in
potential partners, and to an extent, they regard sexual behaviour in
women as dirty.

As men we want the impossible; a pure, virginal girl untouched by


other men, but who is an uninhibited slut in the bedroom just for
us.

At the extreme it becomes impossible to fall in love with a woman


who satisfies you sexually, or to be sexually satisfied by a woman
you love.

For most guys this just means that there is a gap between the
women to whom we are most physically attracted and the women
whom we want to have around all the time.

This exercise is intended to reduce that gap.

The aim is to be comfortable with sexuality in all persons, starting


with yourself, and your potential partners.

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A healthy, uninhibited attitude to sex is vital to be successful with


women. If you see sex as wrong or dirty, so will the girls you
meet. If you see it as healthy and a natural activity, so will they.

The Freudian Angle


Freud had a peculiar way of looking at the world, and while it is
helpful he is not someone I would recommend for further study. If
you are interested in the field I would suggest Carl Jung.

Follow the ‘Mother’ section of the Forgiveness worksheet in the


main Tapping Guide. Visit it repeatedly until you can find no
negative feelings towards your mother.

If you were hurt in a particular way by your mother, you sub-


consciously will be looking for feelings to balance that hurt in all
the women in your life. You are looking to your partner to heal
you, and this does not make for a healthy relationship.

Freud also described the Oedipus complex as the reciprocal of the


Madonna-Whore complex. This is where a man apparently wants
to kill his father and fuck his mother – if this is a big problem for
you, you might want to seek professional help! The ‘Father’
section of the Forgiveness worksheet covers negativity held
towards your father.

The Movie Moment


In terms of sexuality, there is a scenario we can all relate to that
unearths uncomfortable feelings around our parents as sexual
beings.

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Can you remember watching television with one or both of your


parents when a sex scene comes on the screen?

Any uncomfortable feelings you associate with that are what you
need to tap.

Who do you think gets the most sex? The guy who gets
uncomfortable watching a love scene with his mother in the room,
or the guy who is totally comfortable with it?

You also want to look for that icky feeling you get as a child when
you realise your parents must have had sex to conceive you.

The Present Moment


As an ongoing exercise, look for negative feelings you associate
with sexual girls in general. Any time you notice a display of
feminine sexuality, look for any uncomfortable negative feelings
that arise in you.

How do you feel towards strippers, dancers, and prostitutes? Look


for any negative feelings that would stop you being friends with
one, or respecting them as people.

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6. Jealousy Exercise
This is the exercise I found the most powerful in widening my
sexual horizons, reducing jealousy, and not being threatened by my
partner’s sexual history.

It’s a little sadomasochistic, but the results are very worthwhile.

To give you an idea of where I am with this right now, I remember


a time when I was at my FB’s house, grabbing condoms from her
top drawer. We had made no agreement of exclusivity, but neither
of us happened to be seeing anyone else at the time.

Last time I’d been there, we’d opened a box of 12 condoms and
had probably used a couple. It was a surprise to me then, to find
that when I took the box out of the drawer, there were only a few
left in there.

I immediately assumed that she must have used them with another
guy.

Completely calmly, without any hint of jealousy, no anger or


bitterness or any feeling other than mild curiosity, I turned to her
and asked “have you been seeing someone else?”

She said no. When I told her how many condoms were there, she
said they must have fallen out of the box, I looked in the drawer
and there they were.

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When I went back to the bed she was amazed that I hadn’t been
jealous at all. She was really, really surprised, and very impressed.
I think she found it pretty hot…

I was pleased that I’d reached this point, because jealousy had
always been a problem for me. At school all the girls I’d fancied
had been pulling guys who I felt were my enemies, and even
worse, my friends.

Any specific events where the girls you liked were with other guys
should be covered by the ex-girlfriend cleanse, but this exercise
goes a step further.

Repeatedly visualise the girls you like or have liked, with various
guys.

Find the most tortuous combinations you can to elicit the strongest
negative feelings in you, and then tap those feelings away. The
aim is not sado-masochism; the aim is to be unflappable.

Literally, visualise the girl you want the most, getting gang-railed
by a football team. Make that football team consist of your old
boss who humiliated you, the guy in the year above you in school
who took the virginity of your oneitis, and the greasy club
promoter who took that two-set off you the other night.

Take particular care to notice that she is enjoying it, and wants
them more than she will ever want you.

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This will prepare you mentally for when more down-to-earth


situations arise in real life. When the inevitable happens, do not
feel angry at the people concerned – thank them internally for
showing you things to tap.

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Worksheets

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How to Use the Worksheets


Work through the worksheets on your own or with a partner.

Read the questions on the sheet, and ask yourself or your partner.

Re-word the questions however you like, and follow your intuition
to vary the questions and probe further based on the answers.

For each question, look for two different types of answers, a


feeling, and a negative belief or thought.

If the answer is a belief or a thought, simply do one round of


tapping on that belief or thought. If the belief or thought recurs,
just ask ‘why do you think that?’ and tap the answer to that.

If the answer is a feeling, look at where you feel it in your body,


how strong it is, and the emotional quality of it. You can tap the
feeling that way, or trace it back to a memory.

Focus on the feeling and ask yourself when you have felt it before
– what does it remind you of? If a memory surfaces, tap all the
feelings in that memory. Try to find the earliest memory of that
feeling.

Repeatedly ask each question until you cannot think of an answer.

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Approaching Worksheet
Bars and Clubs
What’s stopping you approach?
What’s stopping you from opening a girl standing on her own?
What’s stopping you from opening a passing girl?
What’s stopping you from opening two girls standing at the bar?
What’s stopping you from walking up to a table of girls?
What’s stopping you from opening a mixed set?
What’s stopping you from opening guys?
What’s stopping you from opening on the dancefloor?

Daytime in the Street


What’s stopping you from opening a stationary girl?
What’s stopping you from opening a girl walking towards you?
What’s stopping you from opening a girl walking in the same direction as you?
What’s stopping you from opening two girls?
What’s stopping you from opening a larger group of girls?

Daytime Indoors
What’s stopping you from opening girls in the line in a café?
What’s stopping you from opening girls seated in a café?
What’s stopping you from opening girls in a bookshop?
What’s stopping you from opening girls at the supermarket?
What’s stopping you from opening girls at the gym?

Public Transport
What’s stopping you from opening girls at bus stops and stations?
What’s stopping you from opening girls on the train?

Openers
What’s stopping you from just saying ‘hi’ and introducing yourself?
What’s stopping you from using a Canned Opener?
What’s stopping you from using a Direct Opener?
What’s stopping you from using a Situational Opener?

Past Situations
Think of a situation where you could have approached but didn’t.
What stopped you?
How did you feel?
What stopped you feeling completely comfortable?

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Escalation Worksheet
Joining Her
What’s stopping you from asking to join her?
What’s stopping you from grabbing a chair?
What’s stopping you from making yourself comfortable?

Venue Changing
What’s stopping you from moving her across the venue?
What’s stopping you from moving her to a new venue?
What’s stopping you from taking her home?

Time Bridging
What’s stopping you from getting her number?
What’s stopping you from getting her email/myspace/MSN?

General Escalation
What’s stopping you from moving things forward?

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State Control Worksheet


Going Out
What stops you feeling good when you go out?
What stops you feeling good when you enter a venue?

Rejection
How do you feel when you are rejected?
What stops you feeling fine after you have been rejected?

After Work
What stops you feeling great after work?
What stops you feeling talkative and sociable after work?

Past Situations
Think of a time when you felt bad in the field.
How did you feel?
What stopped you feeling great?

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Meeting Women Worksheet


Pre-Conceived Ideas
What don’t you like about the girls that you meet?
What turns you off about the girls that you meet?
What stops you being attracted to the girls you meet?

“There are more girls, of the kind you like, than you can ever possibly meet”

- David DeAngelo

Abundance Mentality
What stops you believing that statement?
What conflicting beliefs do you have?
Is it true? Why not?

Meeting People
What stops you getting out more?
What stops you meeting more people?

Your Ideal Girl


What stops you being comfortable around your Ideal Girl?
What stops you believing you deserve your Ideal Girl?
What stops you believing your Ideal Girl would find you attractive?
What stops you getting your Ideal Girl?

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Self Esteem Worksheet


Liking Yourself
What don’t you like about yourself?
What stops you feeling good about yourself?
What stops you liking yourself?
What stops you loving yourself?

Girls Liking You


What stops you believing that girls will like you?
What stops you believing that girls will find you attractive?
What stops you believing that there are girls out there looking for a guy just like you?

Needing Women
What makes you feel you need women to be happy?
What makes you feel like you haven’t had enough women?

Past Situations
Think of a time when you felt bad about yourself.
How did you feel?

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Attraction Worksheet
Un-Reactiveness
What stops you feeling totally comfortable around girls?
What stops you holding eye contact with girls?

Shit-Tests
How do you feel when a girl shit tests you?

Techniques
What stops you teasing girls?
What stops you negging girls?
What stops you ignoring girls?
What stops you doing a takeaway?

Indicators of Interest
What stops you believing a girl could be attracted to you?

Past Situations
Think of a time when you reacted emotionally to a girl.
How did you feel?
What stopped you remaining calm?

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Qualifying Worksheet
Qualifying
What stops you giving girls compliments?
What stops you telling a girl you like her?
What stops you showing interest?

Her Frame
What stops you buying into a girl’s frame if it suits you?
What stops you going with her?

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Comfort and Rapport Worksheet


Listening
What stops you listening to what girls have to say?
What stops you being genuinely interested in what girls have to say?

Honesty
What stops you being completely honest with a girl?

Vulnerability
What stops you showing vulnerability to girls?

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Kino Worksheet
Casual Kino
What stops you from touching girls?
What stops you high-fiving girls?
What stops you putting girls on your arm?

Playfighting
What stops you spinning girls around?
What stops you pushing girls? (playfully!)
What stops you messing up a girls hair?
What stops you playfighting with girls?
What stops you throwing girls on the bed?

Showing Affection
What stops you taking a girls’ hand?
What stops you hugging girls?
What stops you holding girls close to you?

Kissing
What stops you kissing girls on the cheek?
What stops you kissing girls on the lips?
What stops you kissing girls on the neck?

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Sex Worksheet
Sexuality
What don’t you like about openly sexual guys?
What’s stopping you see yourself as an openly sexual guy?
What’s stopping you be openly sexual with women?

Sex
What, if anything, makes you think sex is wrong?
What stops you believing sex is a good thing?
What stops you seeing sex as healthy?

Enjoying Sex
For what reasons, if any, are you afraid of sex?
What stops you enjoying sex?

Nakedness
What stops you being comfortable naked?
What stops you being comfortable naked around a girl?
What stops you taking your clothes off?
What stops you taking her clothes off?
What don’t you like about girls’ naked bodies?
What stops you being proud of your naked body?

Arousal
What turns you off in bed sometimes?
What sometimes stops you becoming aroused?
What sometimes stops you having an erection?
What sometimes stops you having an orgasm?

Removing Inhibitions
What don’t you like about blow-jobs?
What stops you going down on girls?
What don’t you like about the idea of anal sex?

Identity
What don’t you like about men who have a lot of sex?
What don’t you like about women who have a lot of sex?

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Dressing Well Worksheet


Dressing Well
What don’t you like about guys who are well dressed?
What’s stopping you see yourself as someone who dresses well?
What’s stopping you dress well?

Fashion Sense
What don’t you like about guys who dress fashionably?
What’s stopping you see yourself as someone who dresses fashionably?
What’s stopping you dress fashionably?

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Masculinity Worksheet
Masculinity
What don’t you like about alpha, masculine guys?
What’s stopping you see yourself as an alpha, masculine guy?
What’s stopping you be alpha, and masculine?

Dominance
What don’t you like about guys who are dominant?
What’s stopping you see yourself as someone who is dominant?
What’s stopping you be dominant?

Success
What don’t you like about guys who are successful with women?
What’s stopping you see yourself as someone who is successful with women?
What’s stopping you be successful with women?

Getting Laid a Lot


What don’t you like about guys who get laid a lot?
What’s stopping you see yourself as someone who could get laid a lot?
What’s stopping you get laid a lot?

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AMOG Handling Worksheet


AMOGs
How do you feel when other guys are around?
What negative feelings do you have around other guys?
What feelings do you have around guys you don’t know?

Mixed Sets
What stops you opening mixed sets?
How would you feel opening a set of nine guys and one girl?

Past AMOG Experiences


Think of a time when an AMOG entered your set or you opened a mixed set.
What stopped you feeling totally comfortable?

Make a list of any guy towards whom you have ever had negative feelings:

• New Boyfriends of Ex-Girlfriends


• Male Friends
• School Bullies
• Your old Boss
• Your Dad, Brother, Uncles, Grandfathers

Work through these questions for each guy


How do you feel when you think of him?

Look for any memory that jumps out when you think of him.
How did you feel at that time?

Imagine you bump into him in the street.


How do you feel?

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Hot Girls Worksheet


Being Comfortable Around Hot Girls
What don’t you like about hot girls?
What stops you being comfortable around hot girls?
What stops you being comfortable around intelligent girls?
What stops you being comfortable around rich girls?
What stops you being comfortable around barmaids?
What stops you being comfortable around strippers?
What stops you being comfortable around models?
What stops you being comfortable around celebrities?

Lowering Your Standards (This Lowers the Value of Hot Girls)


What puts you off less attractive girls?
What don’t you like about fat girls?
What don’t you like about ugly girls?
What don’t you like about stupid girls?
What would stop you having sex with an average girl?
What would stop you having sex with a girl you didn’t find attractive?

Past Situations
Think of a time you were uncomfortable around a girl you were very attracted to.
How did you feel?
What stopped you feeling totally comfortable?

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Ex-Girlfriend Cleanse Worksheet


Make a list of any girl towards whom you have ever had negative feelings:

• Ex-Girlfriends
• Oneitises
• Girls who rejected you
• Ex-Wives
• Work Colleagues
• Your Mum, Sister, Aunt, Grandmothers

Work through these questions for each girl


How do you feel when you think of her?

Look for any memory that jumps out when you think of her.
How did you feel at that time?

Imagine you bump into her in the street.


How do you feel?
What stops you feeling happy to see her?

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