Safe Dates: A

Dating Violence
Prevention
Program
Johnny Flores, Solana Gallegos,
Shelby Nance, Monica Rodela, & Lezya Weglarz
 What are harmful behaviors that occur in
dating relationships?
Physical Harm Emotional Harm

• hitting • scratching • pushing • calling a date names • criticizing opinions

• pinching • choking • spitting • ignoring a date’s feelings • telling lies
• shaking • shoving • forcing • isolating a date from others • behaving jealously
• biting • pulling hair • using a weapon • cheating on a date • scaring a date
• molestation • rape • making someone feel guilty • spreading rumors
• throwing things • threatening to hurt a date
• keeping a date from leaving • threatening to hurt oneself
• forcing unwanted sexual actions • using sexually derogatory names
• damaging personal property • criticizing beliefs about sex
• acting in an intimidating way • putting down family and friends
• purposefully injuring an animal • driving recklessly to scare a date
• humiliating a date in public or private
• insulting a date’s beliefs or values
• displaying inappropriate anger
Defining Dating Abuse
Lesson #2
Scenario 2: Christina and Juan

Christina and Juan have been dating for a few weeks. Juan likes
Christina, but he isn’t in love with her. He wants to date another girl
in his health class. When he tells Christina that he wants to break
up, she gets angry. Then she starts crying. Juan is uncomfortable.
He doesn’t know what to say, but he doesn’t want to be in a
relationship with Christina anymore.
Scenario 2: Christina and Juan

Is Juan abusive? Why or why not?

Scenario 3: Thom & Nancy

Thom bought Nancy a compact disc by her favorite group for her
birthday. Nancy opened the CD and at first, she seemed to love the
gift. Then, however, she asked where the rest of her gifts were.
When Thom said that he just got the CD for her birthday present,
Nancy got angry. She started screaming at him. She said that she
expected more than a lousy CD for her birthday, and she broke the
CD in half over her knee.
Scenario 3: Thom & Nancy

Is Nancy abusive? Why or why not?

Scenario 5: Nicole & Tyrone

Nicole bought Tyrone a compact disc by his favorite group for his
birthday. Tyrone opened the CD and at first, he seemed to love the
gift. Then, however, he asked where the rest of his gifts were.
When Nicole said that she just got the CD for his birthday present,
Tyrone got angry. He started screaming at her. He said that he
expected more than a lousy CD for his birthday, and he broke the
CD in half over his knee.
Scenario 5: Nicole & Tyrone

Is Tyrone abusive? Why or why not?

Scenario 4: Sarah and Jessica

Sarah has a group of very close friends. She enjoys going to movies and the mall with
them. When she met Jessica and they fell in love, the couple began spending every
spare minute together— that was three months ago. All of Sarah’s friends like Jessica,
but they miss being able to spend time with Sarah. Sarah would like to go out with
them as well. But every time she tells Jessica that she’s going out with her friends,
Jessica tells her how much she misses her when she’s gone, that she always wants
her by her side. Sarah loves Jessica and she never wants to hurt him. As a result,
though, she feels too guilty to leave Jessica even for a few hours to spend time with
her old friends.
Scenario 4: Sarah and Jessica

Is Sarah abusive? Why or why not?

Is Jessica abusive? Why or why not?

Scenario 1: Jason and Megan

Jason invited several of his friends and his girlfriend, Megan, to his house to
watch movies on Friday night. Jason asked Megan if she would put out some
chips and drinks for everyone. She said that she didn’t mind. When Jason’s
friends arrived, they all sat down to watch movies. When someone finished a
drink or when the bowl of chips was empty, Jason would tell Megan to go to the
kitchen for refills. When this happened for the third time, Megan said that she
wouldn’t be their waitress. She wanted to watch the movie and they could help
themselves to the food in the kitchen if they wanted it. Jason got angry. He
ordered Megan to get his friends’ drinks. When she refused, Jason hit her across
the face and dragged her into the kitchen. Jason’s friends had seen he and
Megan fight like this many times.
 Scenario 1: Jason and Megan

Is Jason abusive? Why or why not?

What if this scenario had not ended with Jason hitting Megan. Instead,
Jason got angry and ordered her to get his friends’ drinks. When she
refused, he “got in her face” and said, “What did you say?” Megan
responded by withdrawing and being quiet. Is that still abuse?

If this was the first time Jason and Megan had fought, would it still be
abuse?
 Defining Dating Violence

Dating violence is a pattern of behaviors used to exert power or control over a dating partner.

Dating violence includes any behavior by a dating partner that:

● is used to manipulate
● is used to gain control
● is used to gain power over someone
● makes a person feel bad about himself or herself or other people who are close to this
person (such as friends or family)
● makes a person afraid of their partner

Dating violence happens to boys and girls and can involve physical, emotional or sexual abuse

From: http://www.violencepreventionworks.org/public/recognizing_dating_violence.page
 Why Dating Violence Prevention is
Important?

● Anyone can be a victim of dating violence - Applicable to all students

● 59% of students currently dating have experienced physical violence, and 96% have
experienced psychological or emotional abuse

● People who use violence with their dating partners as adults often began doing so during
adolescence, with the first episode typically occurring by age fifteen

● Violence in relationships almost always reoccurs and gets more severe over time

● Young people who experience abuse are more likely to be in fights or bring weapons to
school, have higher rates of drug and alcohol abuse, and engage in high-risk sexual
behaviors.

From: Safe Dates Scope and Sequence Hazelden

 What is Safe Dates?

Curriculum contains five components:

1) 10 session curriculum
(can be reduced to 6)
2) Dating abuse play
3) Poster contest
4) Parent materials
5) Evaluation questionnaire

Curriculum can be obtained at: http://www.hazelden.org/OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=38103&sitex=10020:22372:US

 Safe Dates Curriculum Overview
Goals:

● To raise student awareness of what constitutes healthy and abusive dating relationships.
● To raise student awareness of dating abuse and its causes and consequences.
● To equip students with the skills and resources to help themselves or friends in abusive dating
relationships.
● To equip students with the skills to develop healthy dating relationships, including positive
communication, anger management, and conflict resolution.

Intended Audience:

● Male and female middle- and high-school students

Evidence-Based:

● The only evidence-based dating violence curriculum that prevents dating abuse
● Designated as a Model Program by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
● Selected for National Registry of Evidence-based Programs and Practices (NREPP) in 2006
○ Received high ratings on all criteria

From: https://www.hazelden.org/web/public/safedates.page
 Curriculum Sessions 1-5

Session 1: Defining Caring Relationships

Purpose: Introduce program, students evaluate how they would like to be treated in relationships
Materials/Activities: Bingo game, class discussions
Session 2: Defining Dating Abuse
Purpose: Students clearly define dating abuse
Materials/Activities: Discussion of scenarios, review of statistics
Session 3: Why Do People Abuse?
Purpose: Identify causes and consequences of dating abuse
Materials/Activities: Large/small group discussions, review of scenarios
Session 4: How to Help Friends
Purpose: Learn why it is difficult to leave abusive relationships and how to help a friend in an abusive relationship
Materials/Activities: Decision-making exercise, dramatic reading, introduction of the “Friend’s Wheel”
Session 5: Helping Friends
Purpose: Practice effective skills to help friends who are victims of abuse/confront friends who are perpetrators of abuse
Materials/Activities: Stories, role-playing
 Curriculum Sessions 6-10

Session 6: Overcoming Gender Stereotypes

Purpose: Learn about gender stereotypes and how these stereotypes can affect dating relationships
Materials/Activities: Writing exercise, small-group discussions, scenarios
Session 7: How We Feel, How We Deal
Purpose: Learn effective ways to recognize and handle their anger, so it doesn’t lead to abusive behavior
Materials/Activities: Feelings diary, discussion of “hot buttons”
Session 8: Equal Power through Communication
Purpose: Learn the four SAFE skills for effective communication
Materials/Activities: Practice in variety of role-plays
Session 9: Preventing Sexual Assault
Purpose: Learn about the issue of sexual assault and how to prevent it from happening
Materials/Activities: Quiz, holding a caucus and a panel of their peers
Session 10: Reviewing the Safe Dates Program
Purpose: Review the Safe Dates program
Materials/Activities: Discussion, evaluation, poster contest
Additional Resources

For school professionals:

● http://stoprelationshipabuse.org/professional-resources/teachers/
○ Responding to Students
○ Additional Curriculum Ideas

For parents:

● https://www.futureswithoutviolence.org/talk-teens-teen-dating-violence/
○ Warning Signs
○ Starting the Conversation Tips

For students:

● www.breakthecycle.org
● www.loveisrespect.org : Text “loveis” to 22522 or call (866) 331-9474
LCAP Connection

San Marcos Unified School District

- Goal 2C: Student Achievement / Progress - Provide a clearly defined tier of

academic and behavioral interventions for students not progressing toward the
expectation of college and career as noted by data.

- Implementation of Positive Behavioral Intervention and Support (PBIS)

across the district

- 2.c.1: Implement Social/Emotional curriculum from K-8

- 2.c.4: Implement interventions/resources for tiers of intervention and

monitor use and effects on students’ behaviors
Ethical, Professional and Student Standards
ASCA Mindsets & Behaviors:
M 1: Belief in development of whole self, including a healthy balance of mental,
social/emotional and physical well-being
B-SMS 2: Demonstrate self-discipline and self-control
B-SMS 7: Demonstrate effective coping skills when faced with a problem
B-SS 2: Create positive and supportive relationships with other students
B-SS 9: Demonstrate social maturity and behaviors appropriate to the situation and
environment

ASCA Ethical Standards:

A.1.e: Are concerned with students’ academic, career and social/emotional needs and
encourage each student’s maximum development.
A.11.d: Develop and maintain the expertise to recognize the signs and indicators of abuse
and neglect. Encourage training to enable students and staff to have the knowledge and
skills needed to recognize the signs of abuse and neglect and to whom they should report
suspected abuse or neglect.

*Also meets various national health education and life skills standards
Recommendations:

● Inclusiveness for LGBTQ relationships

● Dating violence often ties to alcohol and drug abuse, suggest possibly using in conjunction
with alcohol/drug prevention programs

● Trauma-informed presentation