Documente Academic
Documente Profesional
Documente Cultură
APRIL 2018
SECRETS
TO A
SMARTER
YOU
7 Exercises Everyone Can Do
PAGE ... 32
Must-See Museums
PAGE ... 70
World’s Bordeaux:
Dumbest Much More
Criminals Than Wine
PAGE ... 26 PAGE ... 86
FEATURES
P. | 26
26 World’s Dumbest Photo Feature
Criminals 56 Did Someone Say
Jewelry, gadgets, cigarettes— Cheese?
and a free television—all These candid animal shots
attracted the attention of speak to us. But what are they
these would-be masterminds. saying? You gotta wonder ...
2 | 04đ2018
P. | 94
86 Bordeaux Rising
Now halfway through a 30-
year development project, the
“sleeping beauty” is waking up.
Bonus Read
94 Trapped Underground
They were in a kilometer-long,
100-meter-deep cave when a
flood of water blocked their
way out.
DEPARTMENTS
12 Surprisingly Ordinary
Allergy Triggers
14 Medical Mystery READER FAVORITES
16 The Trouble With Gallstones 5 Editor’s Note
18 News from the World of 6 Quotable Quotes
Medicine 7 Letters
8 See the World Differently
19 My Life
20 Good News
P HOTOS, THIS PAGE; © GETTY IMAGES (BOTTOM ) ;
56
22 Finish This Sentence
P. | 24 As Kids See It
48 Laughter,
the Best Medicine
62 Life’s Like That
84 All in a Day’s Work
BY ROB C AMP BELL ( TOP)
108 Brainteasers
110 Trivia
111 Word Power
113 Points to Ponder
114 Laugh Lines
115 Next Month
116 Last Laugh
04đ2018 | 3|
I NTE RNATI O NAL
Editor-in-Chief
Raimo Moysa
Editors
Mary S. Aikins
Janie Allen
Alex Finer
Art Director
Marilee Lamarque
4 | 04đ2018
Editor’s Note
It Just Wasn’t Their Day
DID YOU HEAR the one about the crooks who robbed a jewelry store
in Leicester, England? The tale is told in “World’s Dumbest Crimi-
nals” in this issue. True story: When police found the getaway car,
they discovered that the clueless thieves had entered their destination in
the car’s GPS unit. Police quickly located the suspects, who probably wish
they’d read “Secrets to a Smarter You,” also in this issue.
We laugh at such hapless criminals but understand their reliance on GPS
(for Global Positioning System). For the directionally challenged, nothing
beats it for finding one’s way on unfamiliar roads. That steady, firm voice
commanding “turn left here” or “turn right here” is reassuring. If we mess
up, the nonjudgmental “make a u-turn” sets us
straight. (GPS is indispensable on the water, too:
See “Racing the Storm.”) But, as marvelous as
they are, when a GPS falls short of our trust, the
failure can be spectacular. For the best
examples we’ve found, turn to “Where the
@#$% Am I?”
Wherever your GPS leads you, try to keep a
smile on your face. There’s good evidence
that happy people live longer and enjoy
many other benefits related to work and
relationships, health and aging (see “Why
It Pays to Be Happy” in this issue).
And if you have any funny stories
about getting lost, email us at
editor@readersdigestinternational.com.
04đ2017 | 5|
Quotable Quotes
Do I want to be a hero to WE CELEBRATE
SUCCESS, BUT I THINK
my son? No. I would like to
WE SHOULD ALSO JUST
be a very real human being. CELEBRATE GIVING IT
That’s hard enough. A GO. PHIL KEOGHAN,
R O B E R T D OW N E Y J R . , a c t o r television personalit y
FROM TOP: FEATUREFLASH PHOTO AGENCY. S_BUC KLEY. S KY CI NEM A (ALL SHU TTE RSTOCK )
not to be orderly.
M A R TH A S TE WA R T, l i f e s t y l e m o g u l
6 | 04đ2018
Letters
READERS COMMENT ON OUR RECENT ISSUES
Laughing Is Living
I like all the articles, but especially Anne Roumanoff’s humor
and As Kids See It [departments]. Sometimes I laugh so
much that I read them out loud to my grandchildren.
MARIE-THÉRÈSE NAUDON, France
After a night on a bed as hard as a bare plank you have to WHOEVER COINED THE PHRASE I WAS OUT WALKING with my
kit out each child with gloves, scarf, hat, ski suit, smother WHEN ASKED HOW his first visit to I USED TO WONDER why I had hair “the pitter-patter of little feet” clearly daughters one evening, when my
CO LO NEL MO U TARD E (BOTTO M)
the beach went, my five-year-old on my legs, but now I know it’s for never heard a four-year-old walk. two-year-old looked to the sky and
CO N A N DE VR I E S
them with sun screen and put on their ski boots. Then, with
S U SA N C A MI L L ER I KON A R
his or her most winning smile, the child announces: nephew, Adam, replied, “It was so my toddler sons and daughters to @MYMOMOLOGUE asked, “Mom, who folded the moon?”
“Mommy, I want to go to the toilet.” dirty. There was sand everywhere! pull themselves up off the ground JULIANNA WALDNER
In the mountains, I’ve come to realize that my favorite sport They should really vacuum it.” as I scream in pain. BRYNN, SEVEN-YEARS-OLD:
is stretching full length … on a lounger. I love to bask in the NAIMA SHAIKH C o m e d i a n JIM GAFFIGAN ➸ Granny, how old are you? YOU DON’T KNOW FEAR until you
sun on the terrace of high-altitude restaurants with a mug of GRANNY: I’ll be 66 next month.
1234567890 hear your two-year-old flush the toi-
hot chocolate, a slice of blueberry tart and a plate of chips. |
02•2018 [[2R]]| BRYNN: We’re not paying for that let and yell “bye-bye” from the hall
Being among the peaks really heightens the appetite! many candles! JUDY NOWISKI bathroom. @LILWESTMAN ➸
1234567890 1234567890
|
01•2018 [[2R]]| |
03•2018 [[2R]]|
Always With Me
Never change the format of your works just fine. The problems
magazine. On purpose, I don’t read start after apprentices have com-
it right away. Because of its format, pleted their training. There are
I take it with me when I have to millions of people stuck in low-
wait for any appointments I have at wage jobs and fixed-term contracts.
the dentist and so on … And all of this so that those at the
MADDY, Belgium (by email) top can stuff their pockets. Greed
beats morals every time.
The Way Into Work HEINZ-JÜRGEN KÖNIG,
Germany’s “dual training“ system Germany, via Email
04đ2018 | 7
8 | 04đ2018
SEE
THE WORLD ...
Surprisingly
Ordinary
Allergy Triggers
BY ALANNA NUÑEZ AND LAUREN GELMAN
Celery
You may already know that peaches
and apples can exacerbate symptoms
in people with pollen allergies, but it
turns out that celery can as well.
Both cooked and uncooked celery
can cause swelling of the throat,
lips, and tongue, so if you have a
pollen allergy, you’ll probably want
to steer clear. And be sure to read the
labels on packaged foods—celery is
P HOTO: © F LOORTJE/GETTY IM AGES
12 | 04đ2018
Hair Gel bate many health problems, and
Anything you can do to minimize allergies appear to be among them.
your exposure to allergy triggers can “While alleviating stress won’t cure
go a long way to making you feel allergies, it may help decrease the
better. One easy trick? Don’t use hair episode of intense symptoms,” said
gel, which, perhaps not surprisingly, the study’s author, Dr. Amber
collects pollen, says allergist and Patterson.
immunologist Dr. Clifford Bassett,
founder and medical director of Leaving the Windows Open
Allergy and Asthma Care of New York. Drive with the windows up and turn
your car’s air conditioner to the “do
Allergy Seasons are Longer not recirculate” setting, recommends
Does it seem as if your allergies get Dr. Bassett. Also, try to park in a
worse every year? You may not be garage or where the car will be
imagining it. “Climate change does somewhat covered and less likely
seem to be making allergies worse,” to have pollen land on it. Similarly,
says Dr. Richard Weber, a past keep all your windows at home
president of the American College closed to keep pollen out, and turn
of Allergy, Asthma, and Immunology on the air conditioner if necessary.
and a professor of medicine at Check that the filter on your air
National Jewish Health, Colorado. conditioner is properly installed
“Allergenic plants are bigger and and isn’t too dirty.
produce more pollen, and allergy
seasons are starting earlier and And Don’t Delay Your Meds
lasting longer.” People often don’t start taking
allergy medications until their
Stress symptoms get unbearable, but that’s
After studying 179 people with hay a mistake.
fever, researchers at Ohio State “If you know you have bad pollen
University discovered that the allergies,” notes Dr. Michael Smith,
39 percent who suffered more than chief medical editor for webmd.
one allergy attack had high stress com, “start treating them even
levels. What’s more, the majority of before you have symptoms. Watch
people in this group, who were pollen counts, and as soon as they
studied for 12 weeks, had more start to rise, start taking your usual
than four allergy attacks within two medication. Once your body ramps
14-day periods. While the study did up its release of histamines and in-
not prove a cause-and-effect rela- flammatory chemicals,allergies are
tionship, stress is known to exacer- that much harder to treat.”
04đ2018 | 13
HEALTH
Medical
Mystery
BY SY D NE Y LONE Y
had gotten under his contact, but the The treatment initially helped,
sensation didn’t diminish after he but by the end of the second week,
removed the lens. When his eye still the pain had returned with greater
hurt the following morning, he intensity. Richard also noticed that
booked an appointment with his the vision in his right eye was deteri-
family doctor, who suspected a con- orating. To reduce inflammation, the
tact lens–related infection and sent ophthalmologist added steroids to
him to the eye-casualty department Richard’s next two-week round of
at the Royal Berkshire Hospital. drops, but the discomfort and vision
14 | 04đ2018
loss only got worse. The ulcer was a pathologist discovered a tiny
also growing, and now there was a filament of fungus. Two days later, a
build-up of pus inside the eye. microbiologist identified it as a
By now, three weeks in, the agony species (Fusarium solani) found in
was overwhelming, and Richard had soil and plant debris all over the world.
become so sensitive to light that he Leyland consulted the national
couldn’t keep his eyes open. He was reference lab about treatment, only
no longer able to drive or work. to discover that the fungus is resistant
Three weeks after his ordeal had to all available antifungals.
begun, Richard re- Leyland had never
ceived a referral to before encountered
Dr. Martin Leyland, such a stubbornly re-
who performed a cor- Dr. Leyland sistant fungal infection.
neal scrape to remove performed a “Normally tears would
part of the ulcer for di- corneal transplant, wash the fungus away,”
agnostic purposes. The hoping to save he says. “But once it
cells were sent to a lab gets underneath a
to identify the organism the patient’s eye. contact lens, it can
causing the problem. grow quite happily and
“At this point, the patient do some real damage.”
was unable to read an eye chart By that point, it was nearly three
and could only count fingers if I held months after the onset of the infec-
my hand right in front of his face,” tion. Leyland performed an emer-
Leyland says. gency corneal transplant with donor
The results of the scrape came tissue in a last-ditch effort to save the
back: nothing had grown in the lab. patient’s eye, flushing the infected
This time, the patient was treated area with antifungal fluids. Post-
with both antibacterial and anti- surgery, Richard began an intensive
fungal drops, as well as antifungal three-month treatment of oral and
tablets (the latter, in part, because eye-drop antifungals. The inflamma-
the antibiotics weren’t helping). tion had also caused a cataract to
Though Richard started to show form, so he underwent a cataract
some improvement, it was short- operation to improve his vision.
lived, and the pain and vision loss Fortunately, the fungus has stayed
in his eye progressed. away, and the corneal transplant has
When a second corneal scrape two remained clear since the operation.
weeks later also failed to yield results, Richard recovered well and may
Leyland did a biopsy to remove a eventually regain up to 90 percent
larger piece of the cornea. Eventually, of the vision in his eye.
04đ2018 | 15
HEALTH
The Trouble
With Gallstones
BY SAMANTHA RIDEOUT
FOR A SMALL, inessential body rarily block one of the bile ducts
part, the gallbladder can cause a lot of leading in and out of the gallbladder,
pain. Roughly the shape and size of a the result is a sudden, short-lived
pear, the organ sits in the right side of bout of gripping or gnawing pain in
your abdomen. Its job is storing bile, a the abdomen, rib cage area, and/or
liquid produced by the liver that helps shoulder. This won’t cause lasting
you digest the fats in your diet. The damage, but you might like to visit
gallbladder releases the liquid as a GP to confirm that it is indeed
needed into the small intestine. gallstones and not another problem,
When bile’s delicate chemical bal- such as an ulcer.
ILLUSTRATION: © YODIY IM/ISTOC KPHOTO
ance gets thrown off—we don’t fully Longer-term or permanent duct
know how or why—its components blockage can lead to serious compli-
can crystallize. Over years, these crys- cations, like infections and inflam-
tals can combine to form gallstones mation. You should see a doctor
(medical term: cholelithiasis), which immediately if you experience jaun-
can be as tiny as grains of sand or as dice, fever, chills, or incessant pain.
large as golf balls. In at least 75 per- Gallstones have a greater chance of
cent of cases, gallstones don’t cause developing in women, adults over the
symptoms or complications and age of 40, and people with a family
therefore don’t require treatment. history of the condition. The major
However, should a stone tempo- correctable risk factor is obesity, says
16 | 04đ2018
Dr. Stephen Ryder, medical advisor You can live without your gallblad-
to the British Liver Trust. But Ryder der as your liver will still produce bile,
cautions against losing weight too which will drip directly into the small
quickly: “Rapid weight loss or gain intestine rather than collecting in the
can cause stones to gallbladder first.
form and can trigger Post-surgery,
10%
symptoms, so con- approximately one in
trolled weight loss is 10 patients experience
the best,” he says. occasional diarrhea as
If you already suffer
from symptomatic
gallstones and the
to 15%
of adults have gallstones,
their digestive systems
adapt to the continu-
ous release of bile. This
attacks are mild, you although only 1/4 of them
might last anywhere
could manage their will have symptoms. from weeks to years,
effects with painkillers; but medications called
a low-fat diet may also bile acid binders can
make a modest difference. If your help control this.
symptoms are severe and frequent, For most people, though, the dif-
the only effective treatment is the ference between having a gallbladder
surgical removal of the gallbladder. and not having one is unnoticeable.
04đ2018 | 17
NEWS FROM THE
World of Medicine
BY SAMANTHA RIDEOUT
Raw Flour Can Carry E. coli X-rays revealed that another 169 had
In unwelcome news for cookie-dough breaks that had gone undetected. The
fans, flour was recently confirmed as majority of the men with fractures
the source of a serious E. coli outbreak reported aching backs. Past studies
in the United States in 2016. Certain have found an even higher spinal-
strains of these bacteria can be toxic, fracture rate among older women.
causing stomach cramps, bloody Most back pain is muscular and
diarrhea, vomiting, and in extreme improves within six weeks, but if yours
cases, kidney failure. Scientists knew lasts longer, seek medical evaluation.
E. coli could thrive in undercooked
meat, but they were surprised to find Vegetarianism Linked to
the bacteria in dry flour. To be safe, Depression; B12 Might Help
health authorities now recommend In a U.S. National Institutes of Health
washing your hands thoroughly after study, vegan and vegetarian partici-
handling flour and abstaining from pants tended to score higher than
eating raw or unpasteurized dough. meat eaters on a depression-measur-
ing scale. While the results don’t
Back Pain Could Stem
18 | 04đ2018
MY LIFE
04đ2018 | 19
Good News
SOME OF THE POSITIVE STORIES COMING OUR WAY
BY TIM HULSE
Let’s Connect
REFUGEES Dating
websites have changed
the way couples meet—
and now the technology
behind them is helping
refugees in Germany.
Carmen Bachmann
(pictured), a professor at
Leipzig University, used
the template of a dating
site to create Chance for
Science, a website that matches realize what being an academic is.”
academic refugees with German The site currently has more than
academics working in the same field. 700 users, including more than 200
Bachmann’s idea was inspired by refugees. The connections it makes
a chance encounter in a refugee may lead to jobs, but the main aim is
camp. “I met a man and all he had to encourage the sharing of ideas.
20 | 04đ2018
France Leads War on Waste Sweden rounded out the top five
FOOD France was the first country in the index, published by the
in the world to bring in legislation to Economist Intelligence Unit. In last
stop food wastage—and now it has place was the United Arab Emirates,
been placed in the top spot in a where almost 1,000 kilograms of food
ranking of 34 countries based on per person are wasted each year.
their food sustainability.
Around a third of all food produced More Time with the Kids
globally is currently wasted, but in FAMILIES Parents in Europe now
France the figure is just 1.8 percent, spend twice as much time with their
Sources: Refugees—The Guardian, 9.12.17. Food—Reuters, 5.12.17. Families—Good News Network, 29.11.17. Heroes—The Journal.ie, 9.12.17
and it hopes to halve this by 2025. children as they did 50 years ago—up
“France has taken some important on average from 54 minutes per day
steps forward, including forcing to 105 minutes.
supermarkets to stop throwing So says a study in the Journal of
away perfectly edible food,” says Marriage and Family, which found
Meadhbh Bolger, a campaigner at Denmark’s mothers are the most
Friends of the Earth Europe. attentive parents, spending around 225
Japan, Germany, Spain, and minutes a day with their children.
04đ2018 | 21
FINISH THIS SENTENCE
… priceless.
LIEKE LANGELAAN,
Bennebroek
… my … my one-
husband year-old
running in his pooping in
underwear, the bath,
to chase away a flying cockroach and crying, scared because
in the middle of the night. it floated.
GUADELUPE
CARMEN BAÑULS, S p a i n
IDALIA ROQUE SEGOVIA
Me x i c o
22 | 04đ2018
… my lover … Monty
making love. Python’s Life
MARTTI MÄKELÄINEN
Fi n l a n d
of Brian.
I still laughed when I saw it
for the fifth time.
ALBERT
G e r m a ny
… my
daughter
imitating me,
on a bad day.
LEANNE BARTON
Muswellbrook
Au s t ra l i a
… probably
… my tax not very
assessment. funny
HUBERT BIESMANS
Tongeren to anyone else.
Belgium RACHEL LOO
Windsor, Ne w Z e a l a n d
… a comedian
who didn’t
succeed
in making his audience laugh.
JEAN-PIERRE DAUNIS
Tournon, Fra n c e
04đ2018 | 23
As Kids See It
“They must be grown-up ducks, because they’re eating the crusts, too.”
way back down to the ground. His the lake, Katie stopped, confused,
friend walked by and told him, “You and asked my dad, “Grampie,
can’t escape from school.” who cleans your pool?”
LENA DESJARDINS DEBBIE MADDOCK
24 | 04đ2018
WHENEVER MY YOUNG SON, AT A RESTAURANT, my four-year-
Daniel, finds seeds, he wants to plant old daughter told the server that her
them. We’ve planted apple seeds, hair looked beautiful. The server got
watermelon seeds and many others. a huge smile on her face and thanked
One day, I explained to him that if a her. As the woman walked off, my
seed has been roasted, it won’t grow daughter said, “But not in the back.”
in the ground. Soon after, we were @KROB451
eating sesame seed bagels, and
Daniel asked if the seeds on the I USED TO TEACH pre-schoolers. One
bagels had been cooked. When I said day I was sitting on the floor with a
they had, he replied, “Aw, man! I three-year-old squatting next to me.
really wanted to grow a bagel tree.” Suddenly, she fell over. Getting up, she
MARJORIE MURPHY looked at me, and said, “That wasn’t
supposed to happen.” Buzzfeed
04đ2018 | 25
Jewelry, gadgets, cigarettes—
and a free television—all attracted the
attention of this year’s….
Dumbest
World’s
Criminals
L
AST SPRING, an undetermined THINKING NO ONE was looking, the
number of misguided thieves 26-year-old bearded thief took a pair
broke into a store after shop of headphones off the shelf in an
hours in Zeist, Holland, and ran off electronics store, went into a dressing
with a television set. Clearly, they room— out of sight, or so he thought
did not know that they had entered a —and put them into his pocket. So far
“give-away store”—part of a recycling so good: if only he hadn’t given into
project—where everything is free. On vanity! As he was leaving the dressing
top of that, the television they had sto- room, he looked in the mirror and,
len was broken! They have not been unbelievably, became concerned
caught. with how disheveled his beard was.
28 | 04đ2018
Grabbing an electric shaver off a Very Sneaky
nearby shelf, he quickly trimmed his SUITCASES belonging to passengers
beard. Sadly for the thief, the clerks on buses going to Beauvais Airport
in the Vantaa, Finland, store had outside of Paris were being pilfered.
noticed his strange behavior, and Police were baffled. When and how
he was pulled aside when he tried could a thief get into the luggage com-
to go through the checkout. The partment of the bus, steal from suit-
headphones were discovered in his cases, and then get out again, without
pocket. The man has been charged being seen?
with shoplifting and property crime. Then, an observant driver noticed
The shaver, having been used, could a passenger with a backpack and an
not be sold. enormous suitcase, with something
inside that was moving! He alerted
the authorities. Police stopped the
man as he arrived at the airport, and
found his rucksack contained laptops,
money and valuables. His suitcase
contained a “curled up individual.”
The scam became clear. Once in
the luggage compartment, the thief
hiding in the suitcase would sneak
out, steal whatever he could find,
load up the backpack, and get back
into the suitcase before arrival at the
airport. The thief and his accomplice
were respectively sentenced in Octo-
ber 2017 to eight and 12 months in
prison.
Clear Directions
AFTER RAIDING a jewelry store of
bracelets and rings, the thieves could
have made good their getaway had
they not made a series of silly mis-
takes. First, when police in Leicester,
England, found the getaway car, they
discovered the crooks’ GPS system
showing police where the thieves
were headed. Even dumber, however,
04đ2018 | 29
AND THE DUMBEST one of the men had left their address
EXCUSES... in the car. The three young thieves
have been jailed for a total of 21 years.
THE ISSUE:
Over 40,000 cases of confiscated Free Wheelin’ Thief
wine were illegally consumed in A SHOPLIFTER seriously misjudged
police stations in the Indian state how quickly a supermarket’s auto-
of Bihar. matic doors opened in the small town
THE EXCUSE: of Halikko, Finland. After a burglary
Police insisted that rats had bitten spree throughout the store, the thief
through the tops of confiscated stole a bicycle and tried to make a
wine bottles and had drunk the speedy escape. In his haste, he rode
booty. Source: rt.com the bike smack into the store’s main
THE ISSUE: entrance—sliding glass doors that
A man was pulled over for driving didn’t open quickly enough as he ap-
16 kilometers per hour over the proached. He was apprehended by a
speed limit in Australia. security guard.
THE EXCUSE:
“The wind was pushing me.”
Source: metro.co.uk
THE ISSUE:
A Canadian woman was pulled
over for driving nearly double
the speed limit.
THE EXCUSE:
She told the officer she was
speeding in order to make it to her
nearby cottage in time for sunset.
It was 8:20 in the morning.
Source: CTV News
THE ISSUE:
A college student was arrested
on charges of shoplifting.
THE EXCUSE:
It was a homework assignment—
she was researching a term paper
on kleptomania.
Source: Associated
30 | 04đ2018
READER’S DIGEST
04đ2018 | 31
Want to be bright as a button and quick as
a whip? Hone your wits by harnessing the power
of words, languages, and mnemonics.
Secrets
to a
Smarter
You BY ANDREA AU LEVITT AND BRANDON SPECKTOR
PHOTOGRA PH BY N IKKI ORMEROD
32 | 04đ2018
04đ2018 | 33
READER’S DIGEST
I
difference: In the memory champs’
N AN AGE when your refrigera- brains, the regions associated with
tor can help you manage your visual and spatial learning and the
shopping list and your phone regions associated with memory lit
can answer almost any ques- up in a specific pattern. In the regular
tion, you don’t really need to people’s brains, these same regions
remember anything anymore. Which were activated differently.
makes the feats of memory cham- Why is that important? Because we
pions—who can recall hundreds of learn by seeing, and the more we see,
(CASTI NG) M ILO CASTI NG; ( HAIR & M A KEUP) ROM Y ZACK; (WARDROBE STYLIST) STEPHANIE MAJOR
names and faces, random strings of the better we remember things. These
numbers or words, or the order of super memorizers have perfected a
multiple decks of cards—seem more method to convert items they want
superhuman than ever. to remember (numbers, faces, cards,
But here’s a nifty little secret about even abstract shapes) into pictures
folks with phenomenal recall: In a they “see” in their minds. It’s a process
called building a memory palace.
Here’s how it works: First, you
transform your target items into an
MEMORY CHAMPIONS’ image—anything you’ll remember.
BRAIN STRUCTURES ARE For instance, to remember card se-
ESSENTIALLY THE SAME quences, Ed Cooke (recognized as a
AS THE REST OF OURS. Grandmaster of Memory by the World
Memory Sports Council) told Ameri-
34 | 04đ2018
who studied in multiple places re-
called 53 percent more than those
who studied in just one room.
Subsequent studies showed that
varying other aspects of your envi-
ronment (the time of day, the music
in the background, whether you sit
or stand, etc.) can also help recall.
The theory is that your brain links the
words (or whatever you are learning)
to the context around you, and the
more contextual cues you associate
with the words, the more your brain
has to draw upon when it’s trying to
cues better than mundane ones. remember them.
Then, mentally place that picture
somewhere familiar to you: in your To Remember: Your PIN
house or at some point along your com- Technique: Count it out
mute, for instance. Finally, make up a You could use your birthday, of course,
story about the items, which will help or your phone number, but identity
you connect them in the correct order. thieves have a way of ferreting those
Here are a few of our favorite tricks out. Instead, try this tip from Dominic
that can help to remember things in O’Brien, an eight-time World Memory
your everyday life. Champion. Write a four-word sen-
tence, then count the number of let-
To Remember: New words ters in each word. For instance, “This
Technique: Change routine is my PIN” = 4223.
In a classic study conducted at the
University of Michigan in the 1970s, To Remember: Facts & figures
a group of students studied a list of Technique: Give yourself time
words in two separate sessions. Some Mom was right: Cramming is not the
studied in a small cluttered room and best way to memorize things. To learn
P HOTO BY THE VOORHES
some in a space with two windows and recall statistics (or pretty much
and a one-way mirror. One group of any kind of factual information), re-
studiers spent both sessions in the viewing the material periodically over
same room, while the other split the a longer span of time is far more effec-
sessions between the two environ- tive than repeating it in a shorter one.
ments. During a test given in a com- This technique dates as far back as
pletely different room, the students 1885, when psychologist Hermann
04đ2018 | 35
READER’S DIGEST
Ebbinghaus discovered that he could audio version; the other just read the
learn a list of nonsense words if he re- book silently. Each week, all the stu-
peated them 68 times in one day and dents took a quiz. Those who both read
seven more times before being tested and listened outscored the reading-
the next day. But he could learn the only group on all eight quizzes.
same number of words equally well by
repeating them a total of 38 times over To Remember: Faces
the course of three days. Technique: Focus on noses
More recent research has demon- While some super memorizers spe-
strated optimal intervals for study ses- cialize in associating names with
faces (one of the disciplines in the
World Memory Championships), the
memory-palace technique doesn’t
REMEMBERING AND work as well if the image of the face
RECOGNIZING FACES MAY is cropped, normalized for color, or
BE A SPECIAL SKILL changed in any other way.
LINKED TO PERSONALITY. Remembering faces and recogniz-
ing them in different contexts may be
a special skill that several studies have
linked to personality: Extroverts are
sions: If your exam is in a week, study much better at recognizing faces than
today and then again in a day or two. introverts, for example. One trick that
If it’s a month away, study today and may work: Rather than focusing on
then wait a week before your second someone’s eyes, as most people do,
study session. Three months off? Wait focus on the center or to the left of the
three weeks to restudy. The further nose. The theory is that doing so allows
away your exam, the longer the op- you to take in the whole face at once.
timal interval between your first two
study sessions. (A final review the day To Remember: A grocery list
before the test is also a good idea.) Technique: Engage your body
How often have you written your list—
To Remember: A new language and then forgotten where you put it?
Technique: Read and listen In this variation on the memory pal-
In a study conducted at the University ace, picture the items on your list
of Puerto Rico, 137 Spanish-speaking with different parts of your body. For
students were separated into two instance, imagine balancing a pack-
groups. Over the course of eight weeks, age of cheese on your head, an egg on
one group read a book in English while your nose, and a bottle of milk on your
simultaneously listening to an English shoulder.
36 | 04đ2018
Why Reading
Matters
ing each week were 23 percent less lifetime, reading and language-acqui-
likely to die between 2001 and 2012 sition skills can support healthy brain
than their peers who read only news- functioning in big ways.
papers or magazines. To understand why and what each
If you’re reading this, it’s safe to of us can do to get the most out of
04đ2018 | 37
READER’S DIGEST
our words, start by asking the same worst effects of cognitive decay.
question the Yale team did: What is it Secondly, reading books, especially
about reading books that boosts our fiction, has been shown to increase
brain power whereas reading newspa- empathy and emotional intelligence.
pers and magazines doesn’t? One 2013 study found that partici-
For one, the researchers posit, pants who read just the first part or
chapter books encourage “deep read- chapter of a story showed a notice-
ing.” Unlike, say, skimming a page able increase in empathy one week
of headlines, reading a book (of any later, while news readers showed a
genre) forces your brain to think criti- decrease.
cally and make connections from one These findings may sound trivial,
chapter to another, and to the outside but they’re not ; developing social
world. When you make connections, tools such as empathy and emotional
so does your brain, literally forging intelligence can lead to more (and
new pathways between regions in more positive) human interaction,
all four lobes and both hemispheres. which in turn can lower stress levels—
Over time, these neural networks can both of which are proved to help you
promote quicker thinking and may live longer and healthier.
provide a greater defense against the That’s not to say that magazines,
newspapers, and Web articles are
without merit. Reading anything that
fills your mind and exposes you to
new words, phrases, and facts seems
to carry mental benefits. New research
indicates that a large vocabulary may
lead to a more resilient mind by fueling
what scientists call cognitive reserve.
One way to think about this reserve
is as your brain’s ability to adapt to
damage. Cognitive reserve helps your
brain cells find new mental pathways
around areas damaged by stroke, de-
mentia, and other forms of decay.
This could explain why, after death,
P HOTO: © I STOCK
38 | 04đ2018
reserve, that may allow some seniors ing? Successfully learning a second
to seamlessly compensate for hidden language grows that network; poly-
brain damage. glots have been shown to be stronger
So how does one build up cognitive at multitasking, at memorizing, and
reserve? That’s more good news for better at focusing on important infor-
word lovers. Vocabulary is notoriously mation than monolingual speakers.
resistant to aging, and having a rich A 2013 study in Neurology discov-
one, according to researchers from ered that patients who spoke two or
more languages developed demen-
tia an average of 4.5 years later than
monolingual patients. And while a
PEOPLE WHO SPOKE TWO brain that learns a second language
OR MORE LANGUAGES earlier in life will likely see more cogni-
DEVELOPED DEMENTIA tive advantages than a late-life learner,
AN AVERAGE OF 4.5 it is never too late. You don’t need to
YEARS LATER THAN end up a fluent speaker, either. “Just
MONOLINGUAL PATIENTS. having the basics of those linguistic
connections can delay dementia,” Dr.
Thomas Bak of the University of Edin-
burgh told the Atlantic.
Spain’s University of Santiago de Of course, learning a new language
Compostela, can significantly delay is no quick feat. Luckily, the payoff of a
the manifestation of mental decline. single lesson can provide instant grati-
When the team analyzed vocabulary fication. Researchers from Germany
test scores of more than 300 volunteers and Spain had 36 participants read two
ages 50 and older, they found that par- sentences containing the same foreign
ticipants with the lowest scores were word: “Every Sunday the grandmother
between three and four times more went to the jedin” and “The man was
at risk of cognitive decay than partici- buried in the jedin.” When asked what
pants with the highest scores. jedin means, the folks who correctly
Learning foreign words also of- guessed “graveyard” showed reactions
fers important cognitive nutrients. in the same pleasure-sensing parts
In fact, research shows that learning of the brain you’d expect from food, sex,
something new, such as how to play gambling, and other satisfying stimuli.
an instrument or speak a second Though when it comes to words, over-
language, is one of the best things indulgence is encouraged.
you can do for your brain at any age. Because it pays to increase your
Remember that powerful network of word power—today, tomorrow, and for
brain connections we get from read- the rest of your life.
04đ2018 | 39
MEDICAL DRAMA
RACING
THE
STORM
BY MATTHEW TEAGUE
F R O M S MI T H SO NI AN MAG AZ I NE
40 | 04đ2018
The sailors thought they could make it home
before the storm hit. But it arrived early,
unleashing hurricane-force winds.
READER’S DIGEST
O
N THIS APRIL MORNING, SAILBOATS TRACED GENTLE
circles on Alabama’s Mobile Bay, preparing for the
Dauphin Island Regatta. On board the Kyla, a lightweight
16-foot catamaran, Ron Gaston and Hana Blalack made
an unusual crew. He was tall and lanky, 50 years old, with decades of
sailing experience. She was 15, tiny, pale, and redheaded, and had
never stepped on a sailboat. But Hana trusted Ron, who was like a
father to her. And Ron’s daughter, Sarah, was like a sister.
One day each spring, sailors gather said the cancellation was an error, the
in central Mobile Bay and sprint result of a garbled message. The con-
about 33 kilometers south to Dau- fusion delayed the start by an hour.
phin Island. On this morning of April A false start cost another half-hour,
25, 2015, there were other boats like and the boats were still circling at
Ron’s, Hobie Cats that could be pulled 10:45 a.m. when the National Weather
by hand onto a beach. There were also Service (NWS) in Mobile issued a
sleek, purpose-built race boats with dire prediction: “Thunderstorms will
oversized masts and great oceangoing move in from the west this afternoon
vessels with plush cabins. All told, 125 and across the marine area. Some of
boats with 475 sailors and guests had the thunderstorms may be strong or
signed up for the regatta. severe.”
At 7:44 a.m., as sailors began to Only eight boats withdrew. As Gar-
gather on the bay for a 9:30 start, the ner would later say, “It’s no big deal
42 | 04đ2018
boat, 17-year-old Lennard The regatta was
Luiten, his father and three in Mobile Bay,
on the Alabama
friends scrutinized incoming
weather reports: The storm U S A coast.
and to help out if anyone had trouble. Shane Gaston, who sailed on an iden-
He waved back. tical catamaran. Conditions were
ideal, with high winds but smooth wa-
MOBILE BAY IS ABOUT 48 kilometers ter. About 2 p.m., as they arrived at the
long and half as wide. A deep channel finish line, Hana looked back. Ron’s
runs up its center, but much of the bay brother was a minute behind them.
is so shallow an adult could stand on “Hey, we won!” she said.
04đ2018 | 43
READER’S DIGEST
Typically, once crews finish the Jim Gates, a 74-year-old family friend,
race they pull into harbor at Dauphin as wind and rain came over the bay.
Island for a trophy ceremony and a “We just were looking for any
night’s rest. But the Gaston brothers land at that point,” Sarah said later.
decided to sail home, assuming they’d “But ever ything was white. We
beat the storm; others made the same couldn’t see land. We couldn’t even
choice. The brothers headed north see the bridge.”
along the bay’s western shore. Farther north, the Gaston broth-
Shortly before 3 p.m., Ron and Hana ers were getting closer to the Bucca-
watched as storm clouds rolled to- neer Yacht Club, on the bay’s western
ward them from the west. “We may get shore.
some rain,” he said, with characteristic Lightning crackled. “Don’t touch
understatement. anything metal,” Ron told Hana. They
By now the storm, which had first huddled on their boat’s trampoline—
come alive in Texas, had crossed the fabric deck between the two hulls.
three states to reach the edge of Mo- Just over three kilometers behind,
bile Bay. At the NWS office in Mobile, Shane, along with Shane’s son Con-
meteorologists watched it advance nor, disappeared behind a curtain
on radar. Jason Beaman, the meteo- of rain.
rologist in charge of coordinating the Within moments the rain caught up
office’s warnings, noted the unusual with the Kyla. It came so fast, and so
way the storm, rather than blow itself dense, that the world seemed reduced
out quickly, kept gaining in strength. to a small gray room, with no horizon,
“It was an engine, like a machine that no sky, no shore.
keeps running,” he said. Then, without warning, the winds
rose to 117 kilometers per hour—hur-
UNDER THE Dauphin Island Bridge, ricane strength. Ron and Hana never
a nearly five-kilometer span that links had a moment to let down their sails.
the island to the mainland, 17-year- The front of the Kyla rose up from
old Sarah Gaston struggled to control the water, stood for an instant on its
a small boat with her sailing partner, tail, then flipped sideways. The bay
44 | 04đ2018
was only two meters deep at that spot, McNamara stood his first-ever shift
so the mast jabbed into the mud and as duty officer. As the storm bore
snapped in two. down on Mobile Bay, distress calls
Hana flew off, hitting her head on came in from sailors in the water,
the boom, a horizontal spar attached people stranded on sandbars, fran-
to the mast. Ron landed between her tic witnesses on land. Several times
and the boat, and grabbed her with he rang his superior, Commander
one hand and a rope attached to the Chris Cederholm, for advice about
boat with the other. how to respond.
The vertical trampoline caught the “By the third call it was clear some-
wind like a sail. As the boat blew away, thing big was happening,” Cederholm
it pulled Ron through the water, away said recently. When he arrived at the
from Hana, stretching his arms. He station, he triggered a “Mass Rescue
faced a decision that seemed surreal: Operation” protocol, summoning a
He could let go of the boat, or Hana. response from air, land and sea.
He let go of the boat. Hana and As authorities scrambled to grasp
Ron both wore life jackets, but two- the scale of the storm, hundreds of
and-a-half-meter swells crashed on sailors on the bay struggled to survive
them, threatening to separate them, it. The wind flipped the Luitens’ Razr,
or drown them. slinging the crew—Lennard, his fa-
The two wrapped their arms around ther, 71-year-old Jimmie Brown, and
each other, and Hana tucked her head teenage friends Adam Clark and Jacob
against Ron’s chest to find a pocket of Pouncey—into the water.
air free from the piercing rain. Brown struggled in a raincoat. Len-
In the chaos, Ron thought, for a nard swam around the boat, search-
moment, of his daughter. But as he ing for his dad, whom he found with
and Hana rolled under the waves, his Jacob. After 20 minutes or so, two-
mind went blank and gray as the sea- and-a-half-meter waves threatened to
scape. drown them, and Lennard struck out
Sarah and Jim’s boat had also for the shore to find help.
bucked them into the water. Normally, a storm’s hard edge
The mast snapped, sending the sails blows past in two or three minutes;
loose. “Jim!” Sarah cried out, trying to this storm continued for 45 minutes.
shift the sails. Finally, they found each
other, and dragged themselves back A DOZEN COAST GUARD ships re-
into the wreckage of their boat. sponded, along with several airplanes,
helicopters and a team who prowled
ABOUT 48 KILOMETERS NORTH, a the coastline on all-terrain vehicles.
Coast Guard ensign named Phillip People on horses searched the bay’s
04đ2018 | 45
hood of rescue was frighteningly
low. “All you can really see above
water is someone’s head,” Bannon
explained later. “You can easily
pass within a few feet and never
see someone in the water.”
Ron and Hana had now been
in the water for two hours. They
tried to swim for shore, but the
waves and current locked them
in place. To stave off the horror
of their predicament, Hana made
jokes. “I don’t think we’re going
to make it home for dinner,” she
said.
“Look,” Ron said, pulling a
phone from his pocket. At the
same moment, Hana pulled out a
GPS unit that she had tucked into
her life preserver.
Hana Blalack and Ron Gaston were in the Hana called 911. A dispatcher
water for more than two hours. answered: “What is your emer-
gency and location?”
clay banks for survivors. At the Coast “I’m in Mobile Bay,” Hana said.
Guard outpost on Dauphin Island, “The bay area?”
Scott Bannon, a major with Alabama’s “No, ma’am. I’m in the bay. I’m in
Marine Resources Division, made the water.”
call after call to the families and Using the phone and GPS, and
friends of boat owners and captains, watching the blue lights of a patrol
trying to work out how many people boat, she guided rescuers to their
might be missing. location.
P HOTO BY BRYAN S CHUTMAAT
Near the Dauphin Island Bridge, a As an officer pulled her from the
Coast Guard rescue boat picked up water and onto the deck, Hana asked,
Sarah Gaston and Jim Gates. She had “This boat isn’t going to capsize too,
suffered a leg injury and hypothermia, is it?”
and as her rescuers pulled her onto
their deck, she went into shock. SHANE AND CONNOR Gaston had
Ron and Hana were closer to the also gone overboard. Three times
middle of the bay, where the likeli- the wind flipped their boat before it
46 | 04đ2018
READER’S DIGEST
eventually broke the mast. They used for any sound in the darkness.
the small jib sail to fight their way to- Finally, a voice drifted over the wa-
ward the western shore. Once on land, ter: “Help!”
they knocked on someone’s door, bor- Hours earlier, the current had swept
rowed a phone, and called the Coast Lennard toward the sea. He swam to-
Guard to report that they’d survived. ward an oil platform, but the waves
As the sun started to set that eve- worked against him, and he watched
ning, Scott and Hope Godbold sailed the platform move slowly from his
into the Coast Guard’s Dauphin Island south to his north. There was noth-
station with three survivors. ing but sea and darkness, and still he
“It was amazing,” said Bannon. The hoped: Maybe his hand would find a
odds against finding even one person crab trap. Maybe a buoy.
in more than 1,000 square kilometers Now Kenny shined a flashlight into
of choppy sea were outrageous. his face, and Scott said, “Is that you,
After leaving Hope and the sur- Lennard?”
vivors at the station, Godbold was
joined by his father, Kenny, and to- TEN VESSELS SANK or were de-
gether they continued the search. stroyed by the storm, and 40 people
Scott had in mind a teenager he knew: were rescued from the water. A half-
Lennard Luiten, who remained miss- dozen sailors died. It was one of the
ing. Lennard’s father had been found worst recreational sailing disasters in
alive, as had his friend Jacob. But two American history.
other Razr crew members—Adam Working with the Coast Guard,
Clark and Jimmie Brown—had not which is investigating the disaster, re-
survived. gatta organizers have adopted more
By this point Lennard would have stringent safety measures. The family
been in the water, without a life jacket, of Robert Thomas, one of the dead
for six hours. Night had come, and the sailors, is suing the Fairhope Yacht
men knew the chances of finding the Club for negligence and wrongful
boy were vanishingly remote. Scott death. At press time, the lawsuit was
eased his boat into the bay, listening set to go to trial in April.
FROM SMITHSONIAN (JULY 2017), COPYRIGHT © 2017 BY SMITHSONIAN INSTITUTION. SMITHSONIANMAG.COM
04đ2018 | 47
Laughter
THE BEST MEDICINE
48 | 04đ2018
His father is taken aback by the 10. A new nation
question but decides to give his son 11. Prove lightning/electricity during
the facts straight up. storm with key, Hula-Hoop, and/or kite
“Well, son,” he says, “food passes 12. Live in France
down the esophagus by peristalsis. 13. Internet
It enters the stomach, where SEAN CULLEN, mcsweeneys.net
digestive enzymes induce a probiotic
reaction in the alimentary canal. WHEN MY BOYFRIEND plays
This extracts the protein before fantasy football, I play fantasy new
waste product enters the colon. boyfriend. @BECCA_KOHLER
Water is absorbed, whereupon it
then enters the rectum finally to
emerge as poo.”
“Wow,” says the boy. “So where
does Tigger come from?” THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR!
S u b m i t t e d b y JAKE COOPER,
London, England A book from Reader’s Digest
proves that there’s a
THE IRS COMBINES two of the fine line between the news
things we hate most in life: someone and our favorite gags.
taking our money and math. From the news:
C o m e d i a n JOHN OLIVER When a seven-year-old girl
called 911 and then hung up,
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN’S TO-DO LIST the Burnett, Wisconsin, police
were dispatched to her home.
1. Lightning rod
When cops arrived, they discov-
2. Heating stove made out of iron
ered the problem: The girl’s
3. Shoes that help me swim like a grandfather was cheating in
fishy a game of cards.
4. Get my General Education
That reminds me of a joke:
Diploma.
My grandfather always said,
5. Some kind of musical instrument.
“Don’t watch your money;
Glass drum? Glass guitar? watch your health.” So one
6. Glasses that can be worn for near day while I was watching
and far my health, someone stole my
7. GO SKYDIVING!!! money. It was my grandfather.
8. A place to share books and all JACKIE MASON
thing
04đ2018 | 49
HUMOR SPECIAL
He wanted an adventure.
Thanks to his confused GPS, he got one.
Where the
@#$% Am I? BY DAVID KUSHNER FR O M OU T S I D E
52 | 04đ2018
Siglufjördhur
Santillan checked in
to a local hotel to get a Where
good night’s sleep, with Santillan
the plan of driving to ended up
Reykjavík the next day.
ICELAND
When he told his story to
the woman at the front
desk, she chuckled. “I’m
sorry. I shouldn’t laugh
★Reykjavík Santillan’s
intended
at this,” she said, “but destination
Keflavík
it’s funny.” International Airport
The next morning,
when he went to check A few errant turns led Noel Santillan on a 360-kilo-
out, the joke became meter detour that made him an Icelandic celebrity.
On the plus side, he’s posing here with a new fan.
even grander. “Some
reporters want to talk
with you,” said the hotel receptionist. explaining to a reporter that he’d al-
Sirry had posted his absurd story ways found GPS to be so reliable in the
on her Facebook page, and it had past. By the time he made it to Reyk-
quickly been shared around. A Face- javík that evening, he had become a
book friend of hers, the editor of an full-blown sensation in the national
M AP : © BGBLUE/GETTY IM AGES . IN SET: COURTESY NOEL SANTI LLA N
Icelandic travel site, wrote a blog post media, which dubbed him the Lost
on the “extraordinary and funny in- Tourist. DV, an Icelandic tabloid,
cident.” Soon his misadventure had marveled that despite all the warning
attracted the interest of TV and radio signs, the American had “decided to
journalists. trust the [GPS].”
They weren’t the only ones who Before long, his experience made
wanted to talk with Santillan. “Every- international news, with coverage in
body in the town knew about me,” he the Daily Mail, on the BBC, and in the
says. Some Siglufjördhurians came to New York Times. The manager of the
the hotel to welcome him and take hotel in Reykjavík had seen reports
pictures. One offered him a tour of on Santillan’s odyssey and, to make
the village’s pride and joy, the Icelan- up for the traveler’s hard time, offered
dic Herring Era Museum. The chef at him a free stay and a meal at the fish
Santillan’s hotel prepared the local restaurant next door.
beef stew for him, on the house. Out in the streets, which were full
Enjoying all the hospitality, Santil- of revelers celebrating the annual
lan decided to spend an extra night. Winter Lights Festival, Icelanders
The following day, he went on TV, corralled the Lost Tourist for self-
04đ2018 | 53
READER’S DIGEST
ies and plied him with shots of the he had come. Not long ago, he’d been
local poison, Brennivín, an unsweet- just another working stiff on his couch
ened schnapps. As a band played in New Jersey. Now he was a rock star.
a rock song outside, Santillan kept He pictured himself resting in the
hearing people shouting his name. cobalt blue waters, breathing in the
Some guys dragged him up a stair- steam. But half an hour later, when his
way to a strip club, where one of the GPS told him he had arrived, he got a
54 | 04đ2018
directions given to him by another to remember his misadventure by:
human being. an Icelandic GPS. The rental agency
And so, with the GPS turned off, presented it to him when he returned
he drove on. Before long, he was his Nissan. It’s a reminder of his time
soaking in a steamy bath, white vol- as the Lost Tourist, a nickname he
canic mud smeared on his face. considers a badge of honor. “I like it,”
By then he’d already vowed to re- he says, “because that’s how you find
turn to Iceland. Maybe, he thought, interesting things. If you don’t lose
I’ll even live here at some point. yourself, you’re never going to find
Until he returns, he has something yourself.”
OUTSIDE (NOVEMBER 15, 2016), COPYRIGHT © 2016 BY MARIAH MEDIA NETWORK LLC, OUTSIDEONLINE.COM.
RECALCULATING!
04đ2018 | 55
No one knows what animals are thinking...
but it’s fun to speculate
Did Someone
Say
Cheese?
PHOTO: © M ELISSA AND JACKSON BRANDTS
/GETTY IMAGES
56 | 04đ2018
5…4…3…2…NOW!
An energetic squirrel
becomes the star of a
couple’s timed selfie.
58 | 04đ2018
READER’S DIGEST
HI HANDSOME. A curious
manatee comes over to say
hello to the photographer.
60 | 04đ2018
Life’s Like That
62 | 04đ2018
MY TEN-MONTH-OLD was sitting in with an ant infestation. So I was glad
her high chair, twisting and moving to get a text from Mom updating me:
all over the place. My wife said to “Exterminator was here; thinks she
me, “Straighten her up.” got the nest behind the microwave.
I looked at my daughter and said, She sprayed, and hundreds came
“What are you doing with your life? out—dead and woozy. Grandma
Do you want to be this way forever? Marie the same.”
It’s time to grow up.” JENNIFER SHAFER, D u r h a m , N o r t h C a r o l i n a
My wife hasn’t asked me to do
anything since. MAPQUEST really needs to start its
@TRMILLER1326, from reddit.com directions on number five. Pretty
sure I know how to get out of my
FI RST PUBLISHED IN 2 014 BY AURUM PRESS LIM I TED, COPY RIGHT © 2014 TE L E G RAPH ME D IA G ROU P
04đ2018 | 63
You’ll get more out of life if you
go through it with a smile
Why it Pays
to Be
Happy
BY LISA FIELDS
A
MAJOR HEALTH SCARE WAS JUST WHAT 48-YEAR-OLD
Kaye Newton needed to kickstart her transformation
into a happier person. Before her illness, Newton, an
author who lives in Nashville, was a self-described
hypochondriac, always worrying about what pitfalls
might be lurking in her future. But once she faced actual adversity,
she learned how to change her perspective.
“Surgery helped me realize that happiness curve? After living life for
worrying about my health doesn’t 45 or 50 years, the experience that
protect me from illness or prepare we’ve gained helps us to put things in
me for an operation,” Newton says. perspective.
“I worry less now. I’m happier, and “By the time we have lived six de-
I consciously pay more attention to cades or more, most have seen that
what is going on right now.” Her book, life has as many downs as ups,” says
Incision Decisions, deals with remain- Lisa F. Carver, an adjunct professor in
ing positive after surgery. the sociology department at Queen’s
University in Kingston, Ontario. “The
optimism of youth, which can reflect
a magical type of thinking that success
“Satisfaction with in life is inevitable, is replaced by the
relationships is the reality that things aren’t always good.
However, there is also the understand-
strongest predictor of ing that good can come from bad.”
happiness we have,” Learning to put life events in per-
says Meik Wiking. spective can help you become happier
as you age. And it pays to be happy:
You’ll see benefits in your relation-
ships, your work, your health, your
The longer you live, the more likely attitude, and other aspects of your life.
you are to become a happier person.
Countless research studies have shown Happiness & Relationships
that over a person’s lifespan, happiness Do you have friends or relatives whom
inhabits a U-shaped curve: We’re hap- you can confide in? If you do, you’re
piest during childhood and old age. automatically happier than people
During early adulthood, happiness lev- who have no one to turn to for advice
els steadily decrease, bottoming out in or companionship.
our mid-40s. By age 50, our happiness “Satisfaction with relationships is
levels are on the rise once again. the strongest predictor of happiness
The dip on the happiness curve is we have,” says Meik Wiking, CEO of the
understandable, given the stress and Happiness Research Institute in Co-
significant life changes that take place penhagen. “It comes up in happiness
during our 20s, 30s, and 40s: Working data all the time. Loneliness is one of
long hours. Establishing a career. Get- the biggest challenges in the U.S. and
ting married. Raising small children. also Europe and many other regions.”
Socking away money for the future. Research shows that people who are
But what about the boost on the married or who live with their partners
66 | 04đ2018
tend to be happier than unattached
people, simply because they’re less
likely to be lonely.
“People who have someone to
count on in times of trouble are hap-
pier than people who don’t,” says
happiness researcher John Helliwell,
an advisor to the Happiness Research
Institute and professor emeritus of
economics at the University of British
Columbia in Vancouver. “People who
are married are more likely to have
someone to count on than someone
who isn’t married.”
Helliwell’s research has found that
marriage gives a long-term boost to
happiness, to the point where the
midlife dip toward unhappiness isn’t
as pronounced among married peo-
ple. The happiest people of all are
those who consider their spouses to
be their best friends. Helliwell’s re-
search is the first to examine the in- Happiness & Work
tersection of marriage and friendship Researchers have studied job traits
and its effects on happiness. that lead to happiness and greater
“Calling your spouse your best life satisfaction. Most people prefer a
friend is another way of saying ‘I’ve good work-life balance above all else.
got a pretty happy marriage,” Helliwell “Variety and learning new things
says. “It’s not surprising if you think are important, but not as important as
about it that way. They are happy work-life balance,” says Jan-Emman-
about being married.” uel De Neve, associate professor of
Carol Gee of Atlanta, Georgia, has economics and strategy at the Univer-
been married to the same man for 44 sity of Oxford’s Saïd Business School.
years. “If you feel that your job is preventing
“I realize I am actually happy and you from giving time to your family or
not just staying in the relationship be- partner, or if you worry about work
cause we have invested so much time problems even when you’re not work-
together,” Gee says. “I don’t believe in ing, or if you’re too tired after work to
not being happy.” enjoy things, that has a massive effect
04đ2018 | 67
READER’S DIGEST
68 | 04đ2018
Happiness Pointers for Life were years ago, be thankful that you
If you’re hoping to remain happy un- still have your wits about you, when
til your final days, researchers recom- so many others suffer from dementia
mend the following: and memory loss.
r"EKVTUZPVSBUUJUVEFYou may not “That is an excellent example of a
be able to control what happens to you, positive and optimistic person who
but you can control how you react. appreciates what she has instead of
“It is possible to develop the habit concentrating on what she does not
of seeing the positive side of things,” have,” Dominguez says. “Being grate-
Dominguez says. “Many people com- ful is part of cultivating a positive
plain of not being happy, but they also attitude. Looking for opportunities
do nothing to change it.” to savor the small pleasures of daily
Learning to be more optimistic is a life, focusing on the positive aspects
good first step. at that moment, without concentrat-
“Start by recognizing negative ing on the shadows of the past or bad
thoughts as they arise, and question thoughts that may upset the moment.”
them,” Dominguez says. “For example: r (JWFCBDL After you retire, you’ll
Is the situation really as bad as I think? find more purpose in life and have
Is there another way to approach it? more reasons to connect with others
What can I learn from this experience on a regular basis if you volunteer in
and apply it in the future?” your community.
r *OUFSBDU EJGGFSFOUMZ XJUI ZPVS “It’s beneficial to get more in-
TQPVTF After decades together, many volved,” Wiking says, “especially if
husbands and wives become so famil- you’re at the stage when you’re leav-
iar with one another, they’re not as ing your work behind, so all of your
kind to each other as they should be. identity isn’t attached to your profes-
This can lead to tension and unhappi- sion.”
ness in a marriage, which affects daily Find a cause or an organization
happiness levels. that’s meaningful to you, then find out
“It’s not fair to treat your spouse as how you can help.
toughly as you treat yourself,” Helli- “I think people see volunteer work
well says. “Ask yourself: Is this the sort as good for other people, but we over-
of behavior that I would use on a good look the benefit we get out of it our-
friend? If you treat your spouse the selves,” Wiking says. “It’s a way to
way you treat your friend, it should make and meet new friends. It also,
involve less taking for granted and an perhaps, helps people become more
increase of the positivity.” grateful for what they have, because
r'PDVTPOXIBUZPVIBWF If you’re some sorts of charity work expose you
more frail or less mobile than you to how the other half lives.”
04đ2018 | 69
Enter the zany world of conceptual
museums—featuring failed love affairs,
Strange
doomed inventions and terrible art BY TIM HULSE
Attractıons
| 04đ2018
[[1L]] PHOTO/ILLUSTRATION CREDIT
IN A QUIET CORNER OF AN 18TH-CENTURY PALACE
IN ZAGREB stands a white plinth on which sits a
foot-long, multicolored caterpillar made of felt.
Some of its legs are missing and lie forlornly next
to it. Close to it is a card on which are printed the
following words: “I had this big, truly big love, a
long-distance relationship, Sarajevo–Zagreb. It
That’ll show you. How are you going object of particular significance. It’s a
to toast anything now?” fluffy white toy rabbit accompanied by
Other objects have much longer the words: “The bunny was supposed
tales to tell, of jinxed holiday to travel the world but never got
romances, first loves, office affairs. further than Iran.”
The objects themselves are gener- It once belonged to the museum’s
ally quite mundane (a rolling pin, founders, Olinka Vištica and Dražen
a wedding dress), but the stories Grubišić. The idea was that if either of
attached to them provoke laughter, them traveled alone, they would take
sadness, and sometimes even shock. the bunny in place of their partner.
For instance, an axe is accompa- They broke up after four years, and
nied by the story of how a German the bunny took on another role—as
woman’s lover left her for another the founding exhibit in their idea for
woman and went on holiday with her. a totally novel kind of museum.
So the jilted partner bought an axe and “I think we were one of those
destroyed a piece of her former girl- couples that just run out of fuel,”
friend’s furniture each day her ex was Vištica recalls at the museum on a
away. “The more her room filled with rainy afternoon. “We were still young
chopped furniture acquiring the look and not ready to settle down.” They
of my soul, the better I felt,” she wrote. were both artists and had met on the
local arts scene. As their relationship
IN A SMALL GLASS CASE JUST INSIDE broke down, they would have “inter-
the entrance to the museum is one minable conversations late at night
about what to do with the residues of
This axe from the a past love affair.”
Museum of Broken One “crazy” idea was to set up a
for the reaction. “For me, it was just from major cities such as New York,
another art project. I’d do it and then London, and Berlin to smaller places
move on to something else,” says such as Kilkenny in Ireland and
Grubišić, laughing. “Then it started to Whitehorse in Canada’s Yukon.
take on a life of its own, and we were
following it.” IN 2009, THE COUPLE BORROWED
“It was a very popular show and money in order to fund a permanent
caught the attention of the interna- home for their collection in Zagreb.
tional media, which was a total shock It was Croatia’s first private museum,
for us,” says Vištica. “We had Reuters the government having decided the
calling, asking about the first museum idea was too “weird” to fund them-
04đ2018 | 73
READER’S DIGEST
selves. The museum has become one summer of 2016, and it’s safe to say it
of the most popular attractions in changed his life. For some time he’d
Zagreb. been trying to find an interesting way
The pair, who remain good friends, of communicating his research into
now have a staff of 20 and recently business failures, and suddenly a light
oversaw the founding of a second bulb lit up above his head.
museum in Los Angeles. As for their “I was fascinated by how they could
own relationships, Grubišić is now communicate an abstract concept
married with a young daughter, while with concrete items and short stories,”
Vištica will only say cryptically that he says. “It was there and then I
she has “a couple of intrigues.” decided I was starting a Museum of
They receive new objects and Failure. It was a eureka moment.”
stories two or three times a week. In West is an ebullient Californian who
a storage depot sit more than 2,500 married a Swede and ended up living
objects, all waiting for their time in Helsingborg, Sweden. Fired with
in the limelight. Both Vištica and enthusiasm by his trip to Zagreb, he
Grubišić see this as an evolving artis- successfully applied for funding from
tic endeavor. the Swedish government to set up his
And what have they learned about own museum, which opened in Hels-
love and relationships from all these ingborg last June for a limited period.
stories? “It’s all just as perplexing as it It turned out to be a big hit with
was,” says Vištica. “I’m not smarter—if the general public. “No attraction in
it’s possible to be smart in something Sweden has got such positive press
like this. If anything, I’ve learned that in such a short amount of time,”
relationships are what count when says West.
you’re alive and they’re something As a result of its popularity, it has
that makes us really human. No now reopened in the city’s Dunkers
matter how different our cultures, or cultural center. On show will be more
however short the period of interac- than 70 objects that satisfy West’s key
tion is, it’s something precious. And criteria for inclusion: “It has to be an
we should celebrate it.” innovation, it has to be a failure, and it
“I think it’s taught me that truth has to be somewhat interesting.”
is stranger than any fiction,” adds This means the inclusion of
Grubišić with a grin. high-profile turkeys such as New
Coke, but also less well-known
ONE PERSON WHO WAS “BLOWN unsuccessful brand extensions,
away” by a visit to the museum is such as Harley-Davidson perfume
psychologist and innovation expert and Colgate frozen dinners, entitled
Samuel West. He went there in the Colgate Kitchen Entrees. And there
74 | 04đ2018
Museum of Failure’s Samuel West with the Nokia
N-Gage gaming mobile; a Colgate frozen dinner.
are unwanted gadgets such as the it, that doesn’t encourage creativity,”
Rejuvenique Electric Facial Mask. says West. “It’s important to know
This “rejuvenating” facial mask looks that even huge brands like Coca-Cola
like something from a horror film and sometimes risk getting it wrong.”
gives mild electric shocks to the user’s Fittingly, West experienced a fail-
face. It wasn’t a hit. ure of his own while setting up the
One of West’s favorites is Frito-Lay’s museum. “One of the first things I
Wow range of potato crisps made with did was to buy the Internet domain
olestra, a calorie-free fat substitute of museumoffailure.com,” he says.
that can cause diarrhea. “You won’t “I was very happy that it was still avail-
get fat, but you might be sitting on the able. Then a couple of days later I got
toilet for a long time!” he hoots. the receipt and to my surprise it said,
COURTESY OF MUSEUM OF FAI LURE
WISE WORDS
Comedy is tragedy — plus time.
CAROL BURNETT
04đ2018 | 75
The correct etiquette for
eating out around the world
Watch
Your Table
Manners BY MICHAEL KALLINGER
04đ2018 | 77
READER’S DIGEST
Center, rates Finland as the worst coun- ten given a menu with no prices. The
try “to eat, drink, and smoke,” because of men pay. If she wants an aperitif or a
high prices. “Finland has the highest al- starter, then he will order one, too.”
cohol taxes in Europe,” says Ilkka Virta-
nen, editor-in-chief of our Finnish edi- Germany: Don’t wait
tion. “The fact that staff are paid a higher to be seated
rate for working late hours and week- It is perfectly acceptable to choose
ends also pushes restaurant prices up.” your own table. “Particularly at lunch-
As a result, in Finland you are not time, and in none-too-fancy restau-
expected to tip the waiter, although rants, choosing any seat you like is
you may wish to round up the bill. still widely practiced,” says Doris Ko-
Hanna Immonen, managing editor chanek, executive editor of our Ger-
of our Helsinki bureau, has a tip for man edition. Tables that have been
pet owners—or people who are aller- booked in advance will be marked
gic to dog hair. “There is usually a sign with a “Reserviert” sign. “Steer clear of
on the door saying if dogs are allowed those and the Stammtisch, the regu-
inside the restaurant.” lars’ table found in many rural inns,”
78 | 04đ2018
adds Kochanek. That is where (mostly The Netherlands: Give the
male) locals swig the famous German local food a miss
beer and play cards. The candid counsel provided by Paul
“A custom that has many of my in- Robert, editor-in-chief of our Dutch
ternational colleagues shaking their edition, may not go down well with his
heads is the splitting of the bill,” she fellow countrymen. “Don’t ask for typi-
says. Once you ask to pay, most wait- cal Dutch food,” he warns foreign visi-
ers will ask you whether you want tors, “except for a taste of our fantastic
the bill as a single sum or separately. honey-filled stroopwafels and a bite of
“Unless the patrons are a family or a smoked eel, a true delicacy.”
couple, paying separately is fine.” In any case, there are only a hand-
ful of restaurants that serve traditional
Italy: No spoons please Dutch cuisine. “In the last 30 years, a
How to eat spaghetti—with or with- fantastic food culture has evolved that
out a spoon? There is only one correct combines influences from all over the
way. “Adults, at least, should use only world,” adds Robert. “But if you really
a fork. You neatly wind the spaghetti must taste a Dutch endive stew with
around it on the side of your plate,” smoked sausage and mustard, get
says our Italian translator Mario Gi- yourself invited to a private home.”
acchetta. “It does take a little practice,
but you soon get the hang of it.” The Norway: It helps to
one thing that is worse than using a have long arms
spoon is using a knife. “Cutting up Whereas in some countries, reaching
your spaghetti is an absolute no-no,” across the table is frowned upon, in
says Mario. Norway it is perfectly acceptable to
04đ2018 | 79
READER’S DIGEST
lean across someone to get the salt, pick in a Lisbon restaurant: “Our Portu-
pepper or butter. “We call it ‘Norwegian guese friends were really shocked.”
arms’,” explains Carina Mælen of our Mário Costa, editor-in-chief of our
Norwegian edition. The custom means Portuguese edition, has this advice:
you aren’t constantly pestering other “Never use a toothpick at the table in
guests to pass you this or that. Portugal, not even if you hide it behind
Another thing you are allowed to your hand.”
do is toast with an empty glass. Not
because alcohol is so expensive in Spain: A time and place
Norway, but “because a toast is con- to split the bill
sidered a symbolic action, and there When you enter a bar or restaurant in
is no need to always wait until every Spain, the waiter will usually show you
last person has filled their glass,” says to a table, so don’t just barge through
Mælen. and sit wherever you like. Under no cir-
cumstances should you ask other cus-
Poland: The gentleman tomers if you can join them at their
always pays table. “There are one or two special
There are some unspoken rules for din- pubs where you can do this, but it is far
ers in Polish restaurants. “Because they from common,” says Natalia Alonso,
make most of their profit from the editor-in-chief of our Spanish edition.
drinks, there is a certain amount of gen- When it comes to paying, different
tle pressure to order a cold drink with regions have different traditions. “You
your meal and a coffee or tea to finish,” normally only split the bill for big fam-
explains Piotr Wierzbowski, edi- ily or friends meals,” says Alonso, who
tor-in-chief of our Polish publications. lives in Madrid. “In Catalonia people
“It’s perfectly OK to split the bill, but if generally split the bill, whereas in An-
possible you should warn the waiter dalusia it is more common that some-
when you order. However, if you are a one buys the first round and later
man dining out with a woman, you will someone else does so.”
be expected to pay the bill yourself.”
Switzerland: Fondues
Portugal: Never pick your are for winter
teeth at the table Chocolate and cheese are two foods that
The Portuguese are an easygoing people Switzerland is known for worldwide.
who are very tolerant of foreign visitors’ “But Switzerland’s famous cheese fon-
ways. But this tolerance suddenly evap- due is only ever eaten in winter,” says Al-
orates if you start picking your teeth at exander VitoliÇ, executive editor at
the table. Hanna Immonen remembers Reader’s Digest Switzerland. It is served
the time she asked the waiter for a tooth- with white bread and boiled potatoes
80 | 04đ2018
accompanied by tea or white wine— THE AMERICAS
never red wine. If you are a fan of melted
cheese, you can always order a raclette Argentina: Privacy is sacred
at warmer times of the year. You won’t catch anyone sharing a table
with strangers in an Argentinian res-
U.K.: Restaurant taurant. “That would go completely
intelligence against the privacy that people expect
Alex Finer, editor-in-chief of our Euro- when they go out for a meal together,”
pean bureau in London, has a tip for says Daniel Weigandt, editor-in-chief
booking a table at a British restaurant. of our Argentinian edition. “The rule
“Announce your name on the phone, even applies in fast-food chains!”
as if you are a regular customer, and re- Tipping is mandatory in Argen-
quest a good table. If you are still given tina, although the amount depends
a table next to the toilets, ask to be on the service. “If you have to wait
moved to another one of your choice. more than 30 minutes for your order,
Or simply leave the restaurant.” it is seen as a sign that the chef can’t
A similarly proactive attitude be very good,” says Weigandt. “By the
04đ2018 | 81
READER’S DIGEST
many restaurants, the bill is already dining traditions is ‘bring your own,’”
equally divided by the number of peo- says Greg Barton, humor editor, Read-
ple in your party when they bring it to er’s Digest Australia. “Customers can
you.” In many Brazilian bars, people bring their own alcoholic drinks with
traditionally keep track of how much them to the restaurant, although this is
they owe. “When you go out in a large most commonly limited to wine only.”
group, you collect your empty bottles Restaurants make some money
under or next to the table, so that you by charging “corkage,” which usu-
can simply count them up at the end of ally comes to between four and eight
the night,” says Zampil. Australian dollars per person. “It’s
left to restaurants to determine their
U.S.A.: Don’t forget to tip own corkage fee,” says Greg. “While
Tipping has always been a tricky issue for some don’t charge anything at all, fan-
travelers to the United States. Tradition- cier foodie hotspots have been known
ally, the understanding has been that the to hit you for $30 to $50 a bottle.” In-
waitstaff in most local restaurants are so quire beforehand, so that the cheap
reliant on tips to make up their pay that bottle that you dug out of the cellar
these are only notionally optional. at home doesn’t suddenly cost you
“The standard in the U.S. has long a fortune.
been to add 15 to 20 percent to the final
bill as a tip,” says Thomas Dobrowolski, ASIA
global rights manager of our U.S. busi-
ness. “But in certain tourist destina- India: Careful with
tions, such as Miami Beach, a tip is now that bowl
almost universally added to the bill by At the end of a meal in a restaurant that
the restaurant, usually in the amount of serves traditional Indian food, the
18 percent.” Don’t accidentally tip twice! waiter might place bowls containing
Once they have cut up their food, most warm water and a lemon slice next to
Americans put down the knife and switch each diner. These are not some sort of
the fork to their right hand. But be care- Ayurvedic after-dinner drinks! “They
ful to keep your left hand hidden from are finger bowls, as many local patrons
view if you’re not using it. Resting your prefer to use their hands to eat Indian
hand—or worse still, your entire arm— food,” explains Gagan Dhillon, contrib-
on the table is the height of bad manners! uting editor with our Indian edition in
Noida, near New Delhi.
AUSTRALIA “When it comes to paying, get ready
for a battle of ‘who’ll pay the bill’ or at
Australia: Bring your own least a brief tussle, especially if you have
“One of the greatest of all Australian been invited for a meal,” says Chitra
82 | 04đ2018
Subramanyam, deputy editor. “If your conversation and then raise your glass
host insists on paying—which he or and say ‘To you’,” explains Chang.
she will—it is best to graciously thank
them. If you would like to split the bill, Thailand: Show your
settle that question beforehand.” appreciation
It’s always a nice gesture to know some
Taiwan: Do not rap words and phrases in the local language.
on your glass In Thailand, the words you need to
“For the Chinese, eating together is know are “Mai pet kah” for the ladies
about strengthening bonds and rela- and “Mai pet krap” for the gentlemen.
tionships,” says Raycine Chang, man- They mean “Not hot, please.” If you like
aging editor of the Chinese edition, Tai- to breathe a bit of fire after eating, give
wan. “We like meals to be as happy and “Ped nid noi kah/krap” a try.
casual as possible.” “Show that you appreciate the fine
If you should feel the need to food you’ve been served,” says re-
make a toast in China you may. Do nowned illustrator Ingo Fast, who lives
avoid rapping on your glass, though, in Thailand. “Make a bit of noise
to catch the others’ attention. That munching and smacking your lips.”
would be inappropriate behavior in Too shy to do that? Well then, there is
China, because in the old days, street another phrase you should know: “Aroi
beggars would often rap their bowls mak mak—really delicious!”
asking for food. “If you want to ex-
press your gratitude toward your host, Michael Kallinger is editor-in-chief of our
for example, you would involve him in German edition.
04đ2018 | 83
ALL IN
A Day’s Work
azine: “A girl got on [the elevator] other assured me, “I will always forget
with a Birkin bag, and her friend you.” And a third insisted, “I thank
goes, ‘Oh, my God, I love your bag; you from the heart of my bottom.”
is that new?’ and she goes, ‘No, I got ELLEN ISRAEL, A l a m o, C a l i f o r n i a
it, like, a week ago.’” Source: cosmopolitan.com
A MAN CALLED, furious about an
MY ESL (English as a second lan- Orlando, Florida, vacation package
guage) students try so hard and are so we had booked for him: He was
84 | 04đ2018
expecting an ocean-view hotel Brainteasers: Answers
room. I explained that was not
possible, since Orlando is in the METEOR SHOWERS BRING
middle of the state. “Don’t lie to me,” SPRING FLOWERS
he said. “I looked on the map, and Cosmofilium jupibristo. The first
Florida is a very thin state.” half of the top term tells the color
Source: hotelstories.freeservers.com of the flower’s center; the last half
is the petal color. The first half of
I SENT A REMINDER to a client that the bottom term tells the shape of
it was time to visit the eye doctor. the flower’s center; the last half is
He called back to inform me that the shape of the petals.
he would not be coming in be- MATCH GAME
cause, as he put it, “I have a new Two. The remain-
obstetrician.” ing internal square
SARAH PARCHERT, Ho s c h t o n , G e o r g i a
could be placed as
shown or in any
AN AD FOR a hedge clipper that
of the other three
I had to read twice: “A built-in safety positions.
switch prevents accidental starting,
and blades will stop when you take NUMBER GENERATOR
one hand off.” Consider the three
5 2 8
MICHAEL GOLDSTONE, Ma n c h e s t e r, E n g l a n d numbers in each row to
8 0 4
be a single three-digit
6 4 4 number. Doubling that
HERE’S SOME ADVICE: At a job
interview, tell them you’re willing number generates the three-digit
to give 110 percent. Unless the job number that goes into the corre-
is a statistician. sponding row of the next grid.
C o m e d i a n ADAM GROPMAN
1-2-3 GO
3
A WELSH POLITICIAN asked the
government for information about 2
1
UFO sightings and if it might fund 1
UFO research. Officials wrote back, 3
2 1 2
“jang vIDa je due luq … ach
ghotvam’e’ QI’yaH devolve qaS.” 1 2 3 3
04đ2018 | 85
BORDEAUX
Now halfway through a massive 30-year development
project, the “sleeping beauty” is waking up
86 | 04đ2018
RISING BY PAUL ROBERT
the quai and stroll the narrow streets terfront, along the crescent-shaped
behind it, which are lined with res- curve in the Garonne River that gave
taurants, wine bars, and shops. This its name to this Atlantic port city’s
contrast is what I always liked so Moon Harbor. Once occupied by der-
much about this city, the capital of elict warehouses and parking lots, the
the southwestern region of Nouvelle riverside Quai Richelieu boasts a new
Aquitaine. The architecture of the tramline, bicycle lanes, and a wide
Grand-Théâtre, the museums, and the boulevard. The Quai is the scene of a
town hall underlines the fact that the daily parade of strollers, runners, cy-
word “grandeur” is truly French. clists, and playing children.
At the same time, it has these nar- A newly opened hub for high-speed
row streets that breathe a provincial— trains is surrounded by a huge mod-
almost parochial—air that many ma- ern building project called Bordeaux-
jor European cities lost decades ago. Euroatlantique, intended to spear-
But the city known in France as head a new economic and population
La Belle Endormie (“the sleeping boom that will ultimately spur growth
beauty”) is waking up. A massive res- from the current 750,000 inhabitants
PHOTO, TH IS SPREAD, BY PAU L ROBE RT
“We have a group here in town hall she explains. “That was an expensive
that acts as a sounding board in dis- operation, but worth it. Now you can
cussions on how we can maintain the see the mascarons.”
spirit of Bordeaux,” he says. Then he Last time I had barely noticed the
points out the window overlooking intricately carved limestone heads on
the square with the massive limestone the keystones over the porches and
St. André Cathedral, which is being re- windows. This was never a town that
stored, and says, “But have you looked invited you to look up. But there they
at the splendid view out my window? are: some 3,000 fascinating portraits
When Alain Juppé started in 1995, found throughout the city.
this square had five traffic lanes, full “Is it known who they were?” I ask
of trucks. Baggio. She says, “They were prob-
“Now there is a tram, ably local characters, but
the traffic is pushed to also mythological figures.
one side, and the square Some symbolize products
is for pedestrians. This is that were sold here.”
how we approach all as- Wine is represented, of
pects of the project.” course, and wheat, but
Juppé is the driving also humans. Baggio ex-
force behind the plan for plains that Bordelais trad-
the revival of Bordeaux. ers in the 18th and 19th
His name is on the lips of centuries took part in
This mascaron with
everybody I speak with. puffed-out cheeks may the European slave trade
The former French prime represent the wind. from Africa to the Ameri-
minister and mayor since cas. She tells me about a
1995 may well go down in history as permanent exposition dedicated to the
the prince who kissed Aurora back slave trade in the municipal Aquitaine
to life. And his name will undoubt- Museum.
edly be attached to one of the grands At the museum I meet former di-
œuvres, the huge structural works that rector François Hubert, author of the
will be finished after his retirement. book that accompanies the exposi-
tion. Mayor Juppé wrote the pref-
THAT AFTERNOON I meet Veronique ace, in which he calls the exposition
Baggio, a city guide who takes me on “a crucial step in the remembrance
a two-hour walk to show me what is process the City of Bordeaux has em-
new and what is restored. When I was barked on.” It is to Juppé’s credit again
here last, much of Tourny’s Bordeaux that coming to terms with the past is
was covered with soot. “The property an integral part of the plans for the fu-
owners were told to clean the facades,” ture of Bordeaux.
90 | 04đ2018
READER’S DIGEST
The Rue de Fessets, a pedestrian zone in the Old City, has an Old World charm.
locals about the slave trade and found yet,” he tells me, “but we do have a Bib
that the subject is as sensitive here as Gourmand.” For tout Bordeaux that is
it is in my own hometown, Amster- a good omen of stars to come.
dam. We don’t like to be reminded of “I want a star of course,” says Gal-
the crimes of our forefathers. lacher after serving an elegant, mod-
A popular myth among locals has it ern lunch. “It would allow me to work
that the Bordeaux traders were forced with more exclusive ingredients. But
04đ2018 | 91
READER’S DIGEST
right now, it is also challenging to échoppe that sell for record prices.
serve surprising menus using more Through a shop window, my eye is
common ingredients.” caught by a clockmaker, bent over his
After lunch I board the modern workbench, peering through a jeweler’s
B-line tram to be taken a couple of magnifying glass at an antique brass
stops north, where I get off and rent, clock. I ask him if I may look around.
for €1.60 per hour, a V3 public bicycle Master clockmaker Peter Peschel looks
from a station on the river bank. V3 up and smiles. “Of course,” he says.
stations are found on squares around Peschel tells me he opened his
the city. I head off through the Char- shop 12 years ago. With so many an-
trons area, a former working-class tique shops around, he is perfectly
neighborhood that has gone through situated. We find common ground
a process of rapid gentrification in in our love for craftsmanship when
the wake of the restoration of the city he recognizes the classic, handmade
center. In the narrow streets, I pass lens on my camera. He’s pleasantly
antique shops, curio shops, and small, surprised at how it blends with digital
single-story worker’s houses called technology.
Back on my bicycle, I head to the
edge of the Old City, to the futuristic
vertical lift bridge named after former
TRAVEL TIPS mayor Jacques Chaban Delmas. This
is the former docks district where Bor-
LODGING Hotel Maison du Lierre, deaux is now rapidly building modern
57 Rue Huguerie, a small hotel in the
housing projects and luxury apart-
center, rooms from Ð106, hotel-mai-
sondulierre-bordeaux.com; Hotel
ment buildings.
Mercure Château Chartrons, 81 cours The eye-catcher, besides the bridge,
Saint Louis, in the heart of Chartrons, is the Cité du Vin, the brand new in-
rooms from Ð110, mercure.com; ternational wine museum in a building
Hotel Yndo, 108 rue de l’Abbé de shaped to symbolize the swirl of wine
l’Épée, intimate hotel with 12 rooms, in a glass, although a rubber duck also
from Ð220, yndohotelbordeaux.fr may come to more sober mind.
DINING Restaurant La Terrasse Saint Bordeaux, whose name is syn-
Pierre, 7 Place St Pierre, local onymous with wine, has placed itself
specialties, lunch menu about Ð14, above the market with its Cité du Vin
dinner menu about Ð16; Restaurant
and its biennial international wine
Racines, 53 Rue Georges Bonnac,
lunch menu from Ð21, dinner menu
festival. People come to the Cité du
from Ð30, book well in advance, Vin for wine-tasting workshops, wine-
racinesbydanielgallacher.com themed special expositions, and the
splendidly designed multimedia pre-
92 | 04đ2018
sentations about wine from
around the globe. Not least, the
spectacular round shop in the
heart of the building displays
wines from around the world. At
the top floor bar, many of these
can be tasted.
A FINE FIX
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
ANON.
04đ2018 | 93
04đ2018 | 95
READER’S DIGEST
96 | 04đ2018
The caving group from left : Andrew, Arthur, Jason, Matt, and Zac.
and extreme athlete who lives a few Nature and water, inexorable and
streets over with his wife and infant inconstant—a world where he relies
daughter, who introduced him to the on quick wits, courage and working
sport. as a team rather than cell phones
“There are over 1,000 caves and equipped with text messaging and
tunnels on Vancouver Island,” he Global Positioning Systems. In a cave,
would say. “Come with us. It’s never there is no room for showboating or
the same.” Although the danger level competition.
was high, Andrew was the perfect per- Not if you want to survive.
son to start out with, a former guide Jason gets into his orange Ford
in the famous Waitomo Caves on the Ranger pickup and drives north along
North Island of New Zealand, a pa- the wet highway for 15 minutes to
tient teacher and a paramedic who the B.C. Ambulance Service in the
would know what to do if something town of Chemainus, where he meets
went wrong. Andrew and Adam Shepherd, also a
Each time he has caved, Jason has paramedic, who have just completed
felt awe. Underground, he is an old- shifts. Adam has also done some cav-
time explorer in an ancient, ever- ing; they all pile into Andrew’s boxy
changing world wrought by Mother four-wheel drive van and go to Lady-
04đ2018 | 97
“Imagine if we get stuck.”
“Yeah, or a rock falls on us!”
“Or one of us breaks a leg.”
“Keep it light, keep the stress at
bay,” says Andrew, the group’s de-
facto leader because he has the most
experience. His short brown hair
sticks up in patches at the crown of his
head and he sports big, black discs in
his earlobes.
At about 8:30 a.m., he turns off the
highway and stops at a candy store
near Port Alberni, where he picks up
and signs for the key to the cave open-
ing. It is here that they rendezvous
with the last two climbers, Matt and
Arthur. They all pile into the two ve-
hicles and drive up an unmarked trail
for about a kilometer, before coming
to a stop in a clearing. Here, they take
The cavers enter through a metal door in inventory to make sure they aren’t
the ground then climb down a ladder. missing anything.
Waterproof gloves and liners?
smith to pick up Zac Zorisky, a chef Check.
and volunteer firefighter, and then Ropes, harnesses, and carabiners?
on to their destination, where they Check.
are meeting Matt Watson and Arthur Two bags that contain a lightweight,
Taylor, computer programmers who gas-fueled “Jetboil” stove, dehydrated
are driving up from Victoria. packets of soup and stew, bottles of
The van rolls north along the is- water, snacks, a first-aid kit, and a My-
land highway through Nanaimo and lar “space” blanket that resembles a
Parksville, then takes a slight left at the sheet of aluminum foil. Check, check,
PHOTO BY ANDREW MUNOZ
98 | 04đ2018
READER’S DIGEST
branches for leverage, before coming chilly, about five degrees Celsius.
to a stop at the door in the ground. Once they’re all at the bottom,
You’d never know it was here if you they make their way down a narrow
weren’t looking for it, Jason thinks. passage studded with jagged boul-
It’s a big part of what he loves about ders, taking turns to carry the bags
caving, the sense of the unexpected. of equipment. At first, the silence is
You never know what you’re going to broken only by heavy breathing. But
find. If you’ve never gone caving, you as they move further in, there is a
may think there’s a big opening you constant drip-drip-drip from above,
just walk through, or that you’ll find like coins being dropped on the rock.
one chamber after another filled with Soon, the drip turns into a light but
pointy-tipped stalactites suspended steady flow, and they are wading, up
from their ceilings and snub-nosed to their shins.
stalagmites—buildups of mineral de- It would be nice to have a half wet-
posits—rising up from the ground. suit like Andrew does, Jason thinks.
But some of the most interesting Maybe next time.
caves are the ones you have to squeeze “Everyone OK?” Andrew calls.
into, where there might not be an ob- “Yeah,” comes the reply.
vious way forward—features like a pile “Yup.”
of boulders blocking the way that you “Me, too.”
have to figure a way through. That’s About 45 minutes in, Adam an-
what I love, Jason thinks. nounces he can’t go any further; his
It is 10 a.m. The door is pulled open back, injured a few months earlier, is
and one by one, they climb nine me- already twinging and he doesn’t want
ters down a rickety ladder made of to slow down the others. Matt escorts
steel cables with aluminum rungs him back to the entrance to let him
into the black, each of them anchored out, then closes and locks the metal
with carabiners to a rope just in case door again. The others wait for their
they slip. As their eyes adjust, the friend in a chamber large enough for
black shows glints of gold, gray and them to stand in, chatting quietly.
charcoal, limestone carved by water, This is their challenge: reach the
forbidding and sharp. It is damp and end of the cave. On a previous visit,
04đ2018 | 99
READER’S DIGEST
100 | 04đ2018
louder. tight passage, he pauses, puzzled, be-
“Careful!” the cavers up front call cause it splits into two.
back. No one wants to slip on a rock I don’t remember this. Which way
that cannot be seen, maybe turn an do I go?
ankle, injure a knee, or sprain a wrist. He can’t see the two cavers ahead
As it nears 2:15 p.m., the cavers ap- of him and he is nervous about wait-
proach the bottom of Double Trou- ing at the top because there is really
ble. Now, the sound of the water has only room in this spot for one person
turned into a roar, and at the bottom, at a time.
it churns in an angry white froth. I’ll just go back down and ask, he
It has been raining pretty steadily decides.
for two days and caves do act as the He starts to make his way down
earth’s drain pipes. But no one was the crawl in a careful crabwalk. He’s
nervous at the start. They are pre- glad he’s wearing thick blue, plastic
pared. They have a stove. They have gloves, which protect him from the
food, water, the thermal blanket, slick sharpness of the rocks. Suddenly
and first aid supplies. For cavers, the the force of the water pushes him to
watchwords are to expect the unex- the ground, submerging him, and he
pected, and the trip was not going to feels the pressure of more water build-
be long. ing up behind him.
This is going to be fine. If he doesn’t get out fast, the merci-
Matt attaches the rope that was left less, freezing surge of water will pop
attached at the top of Double Trouble him out like a champagne cork, over
to his harness and starts hauling him- Double Trouble and onto the rocks
self up. The journey is not long, maybe below.
four stories high, but it’s tough, pre- Don’t panic, he tells himself. Then:
cise work, hoisting one leg, finding a But I can’t move! My boot’s stuck!
tiny, wet shelf in the rock wall, then a Lying on his back with the water
gloved hand, then the other leg. Once rushing over him, he tries to call for
he is up, he lets the rope back down help but instead, he gasps frantically
and Arthur makes the climb, then for air. It has been about five minutes,
Jason, straddling the water and de- but feels longer. He thinks of his fam-
termined not to slip. At the top, Jason ily; Caroline, whom he has been mar-
gets on his stomach to pull himself up ried to for 16 years. Jack, 7, who loves
the incline of Bastard’s Crawl. paper airplanes and Poppy, his prin-
One, two, three—the water smashes cess, who is 3.
into his face as he powers through Then Zac, who has reached the top of
it. God, it’s cold! Finally emerging Double Trouble, sees Jason stuck and
through the opening into the next thrashing midway up Bastard’s Crawl.
04đ2018 | 101
“Good hands. Come on. Hands out.
Keep breathing. Come toward me.
Come this way, feet toward me, head
up. Head up. Lift your ass up and float.
Come on, Jase, keep breathing.” Fi-
nally Jason makes it to where Andrew
waits for him.
“It’s scary but you made it. Let’s
chill out for a second, okay?” But not
much later, Andrew encourages Jason
to start going again.
“Now, I need you to start moving.”
“In a second. My leg’s caught.” Ja-
son doesn’t recognize his own voice
because it comes out so slurred and
slow. Like I’ve had a stroke. He tries to
dislodge his boot, wedged into a gap
between two rock shelves. It won’t
budge.
Am I going to drown?
Jason (far right) at Double Trouble on “It’s all right, dude,” Andrew says,
a different expedition. reaching into the rushing water and
fishing around for the stuck boot. He
“Andrew! Jason’s in trouble!” he grasps something solid. “That’s your
shouts, his voice somehow carrying foot?”
over the thunder of the water. “Yeah.”
Then Jason sees Andrew at the bot- “We’re going to do this together.
tom of the crawl, calm and steady, You need good hands. Don’t let this
gesturing with his gloved hands. water take you.”
“Solid hands, Jase. Keep your hands It takes about 20 minutes to free
to the side. Head up,” Andrew calls Jason and get him moving. With An-
out. “You’re not stuck. Keep on com- drew’s coaching, Jason emerges from
PHOTO BY ANDREW MUNOZ
ing, dude. Keep on breathing. Hands Bastard’s Crawl like a baby being
out. Stay up.” birthed, wet through, eyes shut tight
Jason’s gloved hands emerge from and gasping.
the water, flailing, then his wet face “You’re OK,” Andrew says, grasping
framed by his helmet. He is gasping his shoulders and settling him on a
for air. narrow ledge near where Zac has been
“Toward me,” Andrew continues. waiting. “Zac, stay with Jason while I
102 | 04đ2018
READER’S DIGEST
go get some meals, the blanket, and “Welcome back, buddy. Do you feel
the first aid kit from the supply bags ready to get out of here?”
up ahead. And I have to fill Matt and Andrew is feeling the pressure—
Arthur in on what’s happened.” and lots of guilt. Because he is the ex-
It takes him about 15 minutes. On pert, the one who has always prom-
his return, he tells Zac the water is still ised Jason’s wife that her husband
rising, so now is the time to leave. would be safe. He had figured the
“Matt and Arthur are waiting for you trip today was going to be straightfor-
just beyond Bastard’s Crawl,” he says. ward. But now, they have more than
“I have to get Jason warmed up before an hour’s slog back to the entrance,
we try to get out. If all goes well, we’ll and with Jason soaked through, ex-
be right behind you. But if we don’t hausted and depleted, he fears it will
catch up to you in 30 minutes, notify take even longer.
Search and Rescue.” They need to leave now.
Unspoken is Andrew’s fear that Ja- Jason takes a deep breath, ready-
son is turning hypothermic, conscious ing himself to tackle Bastard’s Crawl
but so cold, he has stopped shivering. again. They collect the bags, the stove
He wraps his friend in the blanket and and the blanket, and they start to
fires up the Jetboil, deciding to warm climb, continually fighting the thun-
Jason by pouring heated water down dering water—or it’s fighting them,
his clothes. Once, twice, three times, crushing them, pushing them back.
then four, slow and sure. Doing it this Jason has barely begun to climb
way is preferable to preparing a hot when he has to scramble onto a ledge.
drink, which Andrew fears would not There is too much water, and he was
work as fast. too weak.
Come on, Jason! There are barely 10 centimeters left
And: Catch up in 30 minutes? What of air between the water and the ceil-
was I thinking? ing, not enough for them to keep their
Out loud, he says: “Jase, you’re go- heads up to breathe. Until it goes
ing to be fine.” down, they’re stuck.
Jason’s color starts returning to nor- Looking around for some kind of
mal. shelter, Jason spots a ledge above
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READER’S DIGEST
the one he is on; although the wall ZAC MAKES IT to the top of Bastard’s
is at an awkward 45-degree angle, Crawl at 3:15 to find Matt and Arthur
there is room enough for the two of waiting for him; the trio wait another
them, Andrew in the half wetsuit that hour for Jason and Andrew but there
comes to his waist, perches in front of is nothing. Finally, they make their
Jason so that he takes the brunt of the way to the ladder, emerging from
spray, his legs uncomfortably braced the cave at 5:20 p.m., exhausted, wet
against a ledge on the other side of and surprised to find Adam, who was
the waterfall. It is 6 p.m. Zac left them supposed to be picked up by his girl-
three hours ago. friend, worried, waiting for them. It
“We just have to make sure we is still raining. As Matt drives down
don’t turn on each other. This is no the trail to find a spot where his cell
duff,” Andrew warns, using the mili- phone will work, the other three rotate
tary slang for something that is not between the cave entrance and keep-
a drill or training exercise but rather, ing warm in Andrew’s van. Waiting.
the real thing. There is no room on Watching. Hoping for their friends to
the ledge for blame or second-guess- emerge. But there is no one.
ing. This is about survival. At 7:15 p.m, they see headlights and
They settle in with ropes and share hear Matt’s SUV coming back up the
the blanket. There is no fuel left in trail towards them.
the stove, because Andrew used it all “Ground, and Cave Search and Res-
to heat the water to warm Jason. cue is on the way,” Matt says. “They’ll
Andrew tries a joke: “If we don’t be here as quickly as possible.”
get out of here, our wives will kill us!” At 9 p.m., both teams arrive. The
The water keeps rising, almost to dozen-strong ground rescue crew
the ledge, and the sheer force and from the Alberni Valley is there to pro-
fury of it causes a wind to come up. vide support, setting up an elaborate
Both men know that caves have their perimeter around the cave site with
own microclimates and with nowhere lights, a makeshift camp and para-
to go, the wind whistles and keens. medics on standby.
They huddle even closer together, In the beginning, the cave rescue
trying to find shelter from the storm. team is made up of four of their own
104 | 04đ2018
—cavers who live on Vancouver Is- termined to stay. The rescuers hold
land, including married couple John onto the thought that it is not a recov-
Lay and Charlene Forrest. Driving ery but a rescue. That becomes the
up to the site, they worry that it’s a group’s prayer, recited throughout the
recovery operation. But when they night as they keep watch, drink coffee
learn that one of the trapped cavers is and try to stay warm. Andrew will get
Andrew, they know the two men have Jason out. He has to.
the best shot at surviving. But please, please let the rain stop.
When they arrive, the first task is
setting up a system of ropes and pul- BACK IN THE CAVE, Andrew and
leys called a Z-drag to haul the trapped Jason sit, each wrapped in his own
cavers out; they may be injured or too thoughts and part of the thermal
tired and depleted to attempt climbing blanket. Conserving the batteries in
the ladder. Or they may be dead. their headlamps, they sit mostly in the
At 10:30 p.m., John and Charlene dark, which makes them forget what a
descend into the cave with emergency tight space they are in. With black all
supplies, including thermoses of hot around, it’s easy to imagine they are
chocolate and coffee. somewhere else. At home with their
“Andrew!” they call. “Jason?” kids. Or in a theater.
There is no response. Slowly, they If I die, I’m going to miss Star Wars
make their way through the mud, VII: The Force Awakens, Jason thinks.
rocks and boulders that lead to Bas- After waiting for it for year, it is due to
tard’s Crawl but they’re finally stopped be released just 13 days from now, on
by the water, which continues to gush December 18.
in the opening unabated. There is too Breathe!
much water for them to get through, His damp crewneck sweatshirt
and the wind makes it difficult to hear pulled up over his face to give him
themselves, never mind people who some warmth, he draws on his theat-
are stuck on the other side. rical training, forcing his breathing to
For when they return—and just slow down and move through his dia-
in case Andrew and Jason make it phragm up to the tip of his skull. And
through—they leave supplies and in the dark, as clear as day, he sees his
some lights, then turn around to make son standing at the side of his bed in
their way back. Nearly three agonizing his pajamas with the red collar and
hours after they first went down, they airplane pattern, his head averted as
exit the cave. It is 1:20 a.m. They will he concentrates on doing something.
need to monitor water levels and then What will life be like for his family
plan when to go in again. without him? How much life insur-
Arthur, Matt, Zac and Adam are de- ance coverage does he have?
04đ2018 | 105
Andrew and Jason continue to explore Vancouver Island’s caves together.
Breathe! Please, Mom, Dad, God, The hours pass. Beyond cold, they
whoever is out there, help guide me don’t dare to move for fear of slipping.
through this. Help me live. They doze off, then jerk themselves
Andrew silently recites a mantra awake, and they check in with each
that has helped him through scary other every 20 minutes or so, short
times before. It’s based on a passage sentences to conserve their energy.
from Dune, the 1965 science fiction “You still with me?” Andrew asks.
novel by Frank Herbert, and it goes “Yup. You still good?”
like this: Fear is the mind killer, fear “Yup.”
is the little black death that brings The wind continues to shriek. Every
total oblivion, I will let the fear pass once in a while, one of them turns on
through me and when the fear is gone, his headlamp to scan the water level
I will remain. in the crawl and passage. Around 5
PHOTO BY ROB CA MP BELL
There is no sign of rescuers. Did the a.m., bleary-eyed, they notice that it
other three even make it out? Maybe seems to be receding.
they’re lying on the other side of Bas- “Let’s wait for a bit and see,” An-
tard’s Crawl, blocked by water and in- drew says.
jured. Or dead. The minutes tick by as they watch
Fear is the mind killer, he thinks. the water. Will it go down? After an
When the fear is gone, I will win. hour, it has gone down to the point
106 | 04đ2018
READER’S DIGEST
that they can keep their heads above once in water that comes up past their
water and try an escape. Stiff from chests. Now, in a passage that is high
sitting in one position for about 12 enough for them to walk upright, Ja-
hours, they unfold their bodies bit son, who is a bit ahead, sees some-
by bit, surprised at how well they’ve thing flicker in the distance.
weathered the ordeal. Then, Jason “There are lights, Andrew! I see
tries to lift a leg and screams from the lights!” Part of him wants to be calm
pain. A muscle in his groin is badly and cool but the other part is too ex-
strained— but it can’t stop him. cited.
I have to get out. I have to try. Jason plows ahead, exhausted,
Going up on all fours through Bas- sensing an end to the ordeal. Soon,
tard’s Crawl, nothing matters but that. they hear voices.
Each time Jason moves a leg, he cries “Hey,” they call together. “We’re
out in pain. here!”
Andrew says: “You can do this, dude.” It is 7:30 a.m. The rescuers, who are
back in the cave to check the water
UP TOP, the rain has finally subsided. level, can’t believe what they’re hearing.
It is 6 a.m. and the sky is still dark as “Andrew? Jason?” Charlene calls.
three cave rescuers, including Char- “It’s us! Get us out!” they shout in
lene and John, prepare to go in again. unison.
More cavers had arrived—a backup Her voice filled with relief, she
rescue crew—because that’s what they shouts: “I love you! Oh my God.”
do. When some of their own are in For the first time since he nearly
trouble, they come together to bring drowned 16 hours earlier, as he is at-
them out. tached to the pulley and pulled up
Meanwhile, Andrew and Jason have toward the entrance by rope, Jason’s
been moving for about 90 minutes as eyes fill with tears.
they make their way to the entrance, “We made it.”
04đ2018 | 107
Brainteasers
Challenge yourself by solving these puzzles, then check your
answers on page 85.
(METEOR SHOWERS BRING SPRING FLOWERS) DARREN RIGBY; (MATCH GAME) MARCEL DANESI
ASPERFILIUM ASPERCHRYST COSMODENDRA
NEPTUGORII JUPICALTAE URANOGORII
BELSACHRYST
MARBRISTO
BELSAFILIUM
URANOCALTAE ?
108 | 04đ2018
NUMBER GENERATOR (Moderately difficult)
The numbers in the
second grid have a
specific relationship 1 3 2 2 6 4
to those in the first
one. What numbers 2 0 1 4 0 2
would you place in the 1 6 1 3 2 2
third grid in order to
continue the pattern?
every corner and every junction you pass is the beginning of a new segment.
The loop must trace segments in numerical order; that is, “1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3...”
Each junction can be filled in one of three ways:
3 Here’s an example of
a completed loop:
2
1 1
1
3
2 1 2 2 3 3
1 2 3 3 2 1
3 2 1 3 1 2
3 2 1 2
1 3
04đ2018 | 109
Trivia Quiz
BY PAUL PAQUET
1. In 2012, Nicola Adams became the 8. How many whole tones between
first woman to win an Olympic gold pitches are in the musical octave?
medal in which sport?
9. Named for a notable suffragist,
2. What Danish explorer has both a the “Matilda effect” refers to how
strait and a sea named for him? women have been robbed of credit
in what field?
3. Former British PM Tony Blair and
author Ernest Hemingway both 10. Their capital at Tenochtitlán
converted to what religion? (now Mexico City) was founded
in 1325. Who were they?
4. What country’s rapid economic
growth in the later 20th century was 11. When you don’t include the
dubbed the Miracle on the Han River? surrounding boroughs and regions,
which of England’s 51 cities has the
5. Who was, according to his
smallest official population?
New York Times obituary,
one of the few writers 12. In Genesis chapter 22, what
“embraced both by critics does God command Abraham
and a mass audience”? to do to his son, Isaac?
6. The Scandinavian 13. What actress played
region of Lapland is home to actresses in King Kong (2005),
what distinctive ethnic group? Mulholland Dr. and Birdman?
7. Which national 14. What kind of “battle”
capital’s international was held each year at
15. Roald Dahl changed
airport is named for two the title of his children’s West Point, the United
REDHELGA/ISTOCKPHOTO
of its country’s founders: novel James and the Giant States’ oldest military
John A. Macdonald and Cherry, opting for what academy, until partici-
George-Étienne Cartier? fuzzier fruit instead? pants got hurt in 2015?
11. London. 12. Kill him. 13. Naomi Watts. 14. A pillow fight. 15. A peach.
García Márquez. 6. The Sami. 7. Ottawa, Canada. 8. Six. 9. Science. 10. The Aztecs.
ANSWERS: 1. Boxing. 2. Vitus Bering. 3. Roman Catholicism. 4. South Korea. 5. Gabriel
110 | 04đ2018
IT PAYS TO INCREASE YOUR
Word Power
Add some zest to your vocabulary with this feast of nutritious words
and phrases. If you can’t stand the heat in
our kitchen, cool off with the answers on the next page.
BY EMILY COX & HENRY RATHVON
04đ2018 | 111
READER’S DIGEST
Answers
1. gustatory—[B] relating to taste. 9. culinary—[A] of the kitchen.
Here, try my new gustatory Julia Child was a true culinary icon.
experiment—beet ice cream!
10. umami—[C] savory taste. Umami
2. au gratin—[C] covered with is one of the five basic tastes, along
cheese and browned. Is there with sweet, sour, salty, and bitter.
anything better than onion soup
11. tempeh—[B] soy cake. Ezra, a
au gratin on a cold, rainy day?
devoted vegan, serves tempeh burg-
3. succulent—[B] juicy. For dessert, ers and tofu dogs at his cookouts.
the chef served pound cake topped
12. fricassee—[A] cut and stew in
with succulent pears.
gravy. Tired of turkey sandwiches
4. mesclun—[A] mix of greens. and turkey soup, Hector decided
“You call this a salad? It’s just a plate to fricassee the leftovers from his
of wilted mesclun.” Thanksgiving bird.
5. piquant—[C] spicy. The piquant 13. oenophile—[A] wine lover.
smells from the Mexican restaurant A serious oenophile, Adrienne was
wafted out onto the street. horrified when her date added ice
cubes to his pinot noir.
6. chiffonade—[B] shredded herbs
or veggies. If you add a chiffonade of 14. poach—[A] cook in simmering
fresh basil, this frozen pizza isn’t liquid. For breakfast, Sasha loves to
half bad! poach an egg and
pair it with avo-
7. toothsome—
WHAT KIND OF FOOD cado toast topped
[B] delicious. Hattie
PERSON ARE YOU? with tomato.
makes the most
toothsome cherry If you appreciate fine dining, 15. fondant—[B]
you might call yourself a
pie I’ve ever tasted. cake icing. Kelly
gourmet, an epicure, or
a bon vivant. If you have a
flunked her cake-
8. sous vide—
healthy but unrefined appe- making class when
[C] cooked in a
tite, you’re a gourmand or a she slathered on
pouch. Though
trencherman. And if you’ve too much fondant.
preparing steak
done your homework on the
sous vide takes history and rituals of haute
time, it will VOCABULARY
cuisine, you’re a gastronome RATINGS
cook your meat (gastronomy is the art or 9 & below: apprentice
evenly and retain science of good eating). 10–12: head cook
the moisture. 13–15: master chef
112 | 04đ2018
Points to Ponder
I never woke up
and thought,
I really want to live
a bold life. I just
can’t do the other.
ANGELINA JOLIE,
actress, in Vanity Fair
entrepreneur and television personality, Move On: Adventures in the Real World
04đ2018 | 113
Laugh Lines
JOKES, PERIOD.
commitment to uncertainty.
@JOSHGONDELMAN
114 | 04đ2018
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04đ2018 | 115
116
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04đ2018
Last Laugh