Poem One

The Rum Tum Tugger by T.S. Eliot

The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat:

If you offer him pheasant he would rather have grouse.

If you put him in a house he would much prefer a flat,

If you put him in a flat then he'd rather have a house.

If you set him on a mouse then he only wants a rat,

If you set him on a rat then he'd rather chase a mouse.

Yes the Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat--

And there isn't any call for me to shout it:`

For he will do

As he do do

And there's no doing anything about it!

Poem Two

Ladles and Jellyspoons by Unknown

Ladles and jellyspoons, hobos and tramps.

Cross-eyed mo squitoes and bow-legged ants

Admission is free, buy your tickets at the door

Pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

I come before you to stand behind you

To tell you something I know nothing about.

I stand upon this speech to make a platform

the train i arrived in has not yet come

so i took a bus and walked

one fine day in the middle of the night

two dead boys got up to fight

back to back they faced each other

drew their swords and shot each other

a paralysed donkey walking by

kicked a blind man in the eye

knocked him through a 9 inch wall

into a dry ditch and drowned them all

a deaf policeman heard the noise

and came and shot those two dead boys

If you don't believe this lie that's true,

ask the blind man she saw it too.

Poem Three

Wind on the Hill by A.A. Milne

No one can tell me,

Nobody knows,

Where the wind comes from,

Where the wind goes.

It's flying from somewhere

As fast as it can,

I couldn't keep up with it,

Not if I ran.
But if I stopped holding

The string of my kite,

It would blow with the wind

For a day and a night.

And then when I found it,

Wherever it blew,

I should know that the wind

Had been going there too.

So then I could tell them

Where the wind goes…

But where the wind comes from

Nobody knows.

Poem Four

The Germ by Ogden Nash

A mighty creature is the germ,

Though smaller than a pachyderm.

His customary dwelling place

Is deep within the human race.

His childish pride he often pleases

By giving people strange diseases.

Do you, my poppet, feel infirm?

You probably contain a germ.